The Best Alastor 'MadEye' Moody Quotes

Malfoy: Why so tense, Potter? My father and I have a bet, you see. I don't think you're going to last ten minutes in this tournament. He disagrees. He thinks you won't last five!
[laughs]
Harry: [enraged] I don't give a damn what your father thinks, Malfoy! He's vile and cruel, and you're just pathetic!
Malfoy: Pathetic?
[draws his wand]
Professor: OH NO, YOU DON'T, SONNY!
[transifgures Malfoy into a ferret]
Professor: I'll teach you to curse someone when their back is turned!
[proceeds to flick the ferret up and down]
Professor: You stinking, cowardly, scummy...
Professor: [running up to Professor Moody] Professor Moody!
Professor: Back-shooting...
Professor: Wha- What are you doing?
Professor: Teaching.
Professor: Is that a- Is that a student?
Professor: Technically, it's a ferret.
[dumps the ferret down Crabbe's trousers]
Gregory: Stand still! Stand still!
[Attempts to remove the ferret from Crabbe's trousers, only to be bitten. Moody turns and winks at a Harry, who is laughing gleefully. The ferret crawls out of Crabbe's trousers, and McGonagall turns Malfoy back into his normal human self]
Malfoy: [standing up] My father will hear about this!
Professor: Is that a threat?
[Malfoy turns and runs]
Professor: Professor Moody...
Professor: IS THAT A THREAT?
Professor: Professor...
Professor: I CAN TELL YOU STORIES ABOUT YOUR FATHER THAT'LL CURL EVEN YOUR GREASY HAIR, BOY!
Professor: Alastor!
Professor: IT DOESN'T END HERE!
Professor: Alastor! We NEVER use transfiguration as a punishment! surely, Dumbledore told you that?
Professor: He might've mentioned it.
Professor: Well, you will do well to remember it.
[turns around]
Professor: [to a group of students standing nearby] Away!
[as she walks away, Moody sticks his tongue out at her]
Professor: [turns to Harry] You. Come with me.

Professor: The Goblet of Fire is an exceptionally powerful magical object. Only an exceptionally powerful Confundus charm could have hoodwinked it! Magic way beyond the talents of a fourth year.
Igor: You seem to have given this a fair bit of thought, Mad-Eye!
Professor: It was once my job to think as Dark Wizards do, Karkaroff. Perhaps you remember.

Professor: [mocking Hagrid] 'Marvelous creatures, Dragons, aren't they'. Do you think that miserable oaf would've sent you into the woods if I hadn't suggested it? Do you think Cedric Diggory would've told you to open the egg underwater if I hadn't told him first myself? Do you think Neville Longbottom, the witless wonder, could've provided you with Gillyweed if I hadn't given him the book that led him straight to it? HUH?
[points at his head as if to say, "Use your brain"]
Harry: It was you from the beginning! You put my name into the Goblet of Fire! You bewitched Krum!
Professor: [mocking Harry] But... But... But... But...
[normal voice]
Professor: You won because I made it so, Potter! You ended up in that graveyard because it was meant to be so! And now the deed is done! The blood that runs in your veins runs within the Dark Lord! Imagine how he will reward me when he learns that I have once and for all silenced the great Harry Potter!

Professor: Alastor Moody. Ex-Auror, Ministry malcontent, and your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am here because Dumbledore asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end! Any questions? When it comes to the Dark Arts I believe in a practical approach. But first, which of you can tell me how many Unforgivable Curses there are?
Hermione: Three, sir.
Professor: And they are so named?
Hermione: Because they are unforgivable. The use of any one of them will...
Professor: Earn you a one-way ticket to Azkaban. Correct. The Ministry says you are too young to see what these curses do. I say different! You need to know what you're up against. You need to be prepared...
[as he turns to the blackboard again, Seamus ducks under his desk]
Professor: You need to find another place to put your chewing gum besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnegan!
Seamus: [whispering] No way, the old codger can see out of the back of his head!
Professor: [throws a piece of chalk at him] And hear across classrooms!

Professor: What was it like? What was he like?
Harry: Who?
Professor: The Dark Lord. What was it like to stand in his presence?
Harry: ...I dunno... It was like I'd fallen into one of my dreams. Into one of my nightmares.
Professor: Were there others? In the graveyard, were there others?
Harry: ...I don't think I said anything about a graveyard, Professor.