250 Best Maggie Smith Quotes

Robert,: You have no more chance than a cat in Hell without claws.
Violet: We'll see.

[Lady Sybil has been to a political meeting in Ripon, much to her father's and grandmother's displeasure]
Lady: Sybil is entitled to her opinions.
Violet,: No. She isn't until she is married, then her husband will tell her what her opinions are.

[Violet and Robert are talking about proposed changes to the running of the hospital]
Violet,: I want to be *quite* certain you're thinking *sensibly* about the possible changes at the hospital.
Robert,: By "thinking sensibly", you mean "thinking like you"?
Violet,: Of course.
Robert,: Cora believes you are wrong.
Violet,: Cora is confused.
Robert,: And when she sees sense, she'll agree with you?
Violet,: You have been talking to Isobel. Since they made her the almoner, she's never been the same.
Robert,: I have been talking to Cora.
Violet,: Now that is a mistake.
Robert,: You can't expect me to avoid talking to my own wife.
Violet,: Why not? I know several couples who are perfectly happy, and they haven't spoken in years.

Violet: You're a cool little miss, aren't you? I'd feel sorry for Larry, if I didn't dislike him so much.
Amelia: I shall forget you said that, but you should go now. Much more and we may feel awkward when we meet, which we are bound to do.
Violet: I think not, Miss Cruikshank. Not if I see you first.

Constance,: Difficult colour... green.

Ron: [Harry and Ron arrive late to Transfiguration, relieved that Professor McGonagall isn't there yet] Whew, made it. Can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late?
[the cat sitting at the head of the class suddenly transforms into her]
Ron: That was bloody brilliant!
Professor: Well, thank you for that assessment, Mr Weasley. Perhaps it would be more useful if I were to transfigure Mr Potter and yourself into a pocket watch? That way, one of you might be on time.
Harry: We got lost.
Professor: Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats.

Vince: [refuses to shoot Deloris] Joey, do it.
Joey: I can't, Vince. She's still a nun.
Vince: She's a broad. Y'got it? Just a broad!
Reverend: I guarantee you she is no broad! She is Sister Mary Clarence of St. Katherine's Convent. She's a model of generosity, virtue, and love! You have my word for it, gentlemen, she is a nun!
Willy: Ya hear that? Now, aren't you glad we didn't shoot her?

Violet,: [talking to Cora about Mary] ... we'd better get her settled before the bloom has gone quite off the rose.

Violet: [to Shackleton] Are you here to help or irritate ?

Violet: No guest should be admitted without the date of their departure settled.

Violet: [to Edith] I really think you should go to bed - no bride wants to look tired at her wedding. It either means she's anxious, or been up to no good.

Constance,: He's still got that vile little dog, I see.
Lady: Yes, the ones we hate last forever.

Robert: I thought you didn't like him.
Violet: So what? I have plenty of friends I don't like.

Prince: When you go through a storm like ours, you give up hope quite early on in the proceedings.
Violet: I agree - hope is a tease, designed to prevent us accepting reality.
Isobel: Oh, you only say that to sound clever.
Violet: Yes, I know. You should try it.

[Gunilla sees Shelly and Morty re-entering the apartment and dials her phone. Duarto answers]
Gunilla: Social climbers on the rise.

Violet: I'm worried about Edith.
Lady: [dismissively] I can't think why.
Violet: My dear, a lack of compassion can be as vulgar as an excess of tears.

Isobel: But it's immoral to react in such a jealous and selfish way.
Violet: If we only had moral thoughts, what would the churchmen find to do?

Violet: For years, I have watched governments take control of our lives and their argument is always the same fewer costs, greater efficiency. But the result is the same too. Less control by the people, more control by the state, until the individual's own wishes count for nothing.

Isobel: And you've never strayed again?
Violet: I've never risked everything again.
Isobel: That's not quite what I asked.
Violet: It's all the answer you'll get. Remember, we were the Edwardians.

Violet,: [furious that Dr. Clarkson has denied a dying William entrance to Downton] It always happens when you give these little people power, it goes to their heads like strong drink.

Sir: [referring to Bates' lawyer at the table] Is he confident?
Cora: He seems to be.
Violet,: [dryly] Lawyers are always confident before the verdict. It is only afterwards they share their doubts.

Violet,: Would someone please tell me what's going on, or have we all stepped through the looking glass?

Lady: But Mary seems to have blotted her copybook in some way. So she needs a suitable marriage that will mend her fences.
Violet,: Well, how do we know Carlisle is suitable? Who is he? Who'd ever heard of him before the war?
Lady: Sir Richard is powerful and rich and well on the way to a peerage. Of course, he may not be all that one would wish, but Mary can soon smooth off the rough edges.
Violet,: Well, you should know.
Lady: What do you mean by that? Marmaduke was a gentleman.
Violet,: Marmaduke was the grandson of a manufacturer.
Lady: His mother was the daughter of a baronet.
Violet,: Maybe, but they were no great threat to the Plantagenets.

Violet: When we unleash the dogs of war we must go where they take us.

[Larry and Amelia Grey have tried to prevent Isobel from seeing Lord Merton, but she and Violet push past them; Lord Merton sees them]
Lord: [to Isobel] Why have you stayed away?
Violet: She didn't stay away. She was denied entry.
Lord: What! Is this true?
Amelia: Of course not.
Isobel: Right. Here's what we'll do. We'll go up now and speak to your valet. He can take everything you need to my house this evening.
Larry: [patronisingly] Father, this is all unnecessary and unpleasant. Might I suggest...
Isobel: No! I've let you steer us long enough. In future *I'll* look after your father.
Larry: Surely it will be better for us...
Lord: No! Larry, as my son, I love you. But I've tried and failed to like you. Will you please leave me to get on with what remains of my life.
Larry: Bu this is your home.
Lord: Not any more. Take it. And may you have joy of it.
Isobel: And furthermore, I intend to marry him as soon as it can be arranged.
Amelia: This is ridiculous. Father, Mrs Crawley wants to take you away from your son and your family, and kidnap you into marriage. What do you say?
Lord: How perfectly marvellous.
Violet: And who can argue with that.

Robert: Good morning, Mama. This is very early for you to be up and about.
Violet: War makes early risers of us all.

Lady: Aren't you being very snobbish?
Violet: We're being realistic, something your generation has such trouble with.

Violet: There will be Whigs on the green.

Violet: [correcting Tom on how to address a noblewoman] Don't call her "Your Grace."
Tom: I thought it was correct.
Violet: For a servant or an official at a ceremony, but in a social situation call her "Duchess."
Tom: But why don't I call you "Countess?"
Violet: Certainly not!
Tom: There's no logic in it.
Violet: If I were to ever search for logic I wouldn't look for it among the English upper class.

Isobel: [re: Cora's involvement in the hospital] She's very competent.
Violet,: Very competent - she could lead a revolution without turning a hair.

Professor: [to Harry, Ron, & Hermione] Why is it, when something happens, it is always you three?
Ron: Believe me, Professor. I've been asking myself the same question for six years.

Lady: [re: handsome new footman James] Well done Carson - that must have cheered up the maids.
Violet: He looks like a footman in a musical revue.

Professor: Nothing, I repeat, nothing gives a student the right to walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions, 50 points will be taken.
Harry: 50?
[Ron and Hermione also looking shocked, Draco smirking]
Professor: Each.
[Harry's mouth drops open]
Professor: And to ensure it doesn't happen again, all four of you will receive detention.
Draco: [smirk suddenly fades and steps up] Excuse me, professor, perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said the four of us.
Professor: No, you heard me correctly, Mr. Malfoy. You see, honorable as your intentions were, you too were out of bed after hours. You will join your classmates in detention.

Violet: I haven't been in the kitchen for at least twenty years!
Isobel: Have you got your passport?

Martha: Oh dear - I'm afraid the war has made old women of us both.
Violet: Oh, I wouldn't say that, but then I always keep out of the sun.

Prince: You think to be unhappy in a marriage is ill-bred.
Violet: You do know me, Igor, that I must concede.

Violet: [discussing the iminent wedding] The family must never be a topic of conversation.
Cora: I'm afraid Sybil's already made the Crawleys a permanent topic.
Violet: [ref. Tom Branson] All the more reason if we can show the county he can behave normally, they will soon lose interest with him, and I shall make sure he behaves normally because I shall hold his hand on the radiator until he does.

Hermione: Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about the Chamber of Secrets.
Professor: [seeing everyone's faces] Very well. Well, you all know, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago, by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age. Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Now three of the founders co-existed quite harmoniously. One did not.
Ron: Three guesses who.
Professor: Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept within all magic families. In other words, pure bloods. Unable to sway the others, he decided to leave the school. Now according to legend, Slytherin had built a hidden chamber in this castle, known as the Chamber of Secrets. Though shortly before departing, he sealed it until that time when his own true heir returned to the school. The heir alone would be able to open the chamber and unleash the horror within, and by so doing, purge the school of all those who, in Slytherin's view, were unworthy to study magic.
Hermione: Muggle-borns.
Professor: Well naturally the school has been searched many times. No such chamber has been found.

Matthew: What's going on?
Tom: They're forcing me into a morning coat.
Matthew: He has no say in it ?
Violet: No, he doesn't, and nor do you.

Robert: [referring to the Marquess] He's painted himself into a corner.
Violet: I know. Why can't men paint themselves out of a corner?

Violet: She runs on indignation.

Violet: You Americans never understand the importance of tradition.
Martha: Yes we do. We just don't give it power over us... history and tradition took Europe into a world war. Maybe you should think about letting go of its hand.

Violet: I am in need of a favor...

[Professor McGonagall demonstrates a waltz with Ron as her partner]
Professor: One-two-three, one-two-three...
Harry: [aside] You're never gonna let him forget this, are you?
Fred,14239: [shaking their heads] Never.

Reverend: Girl groups? Boogie-woogie on the piano? What were you thinking?
Deloris: I was thinkin' more like Vegas, y'know, get some butts in the seats.
Reverend: And what next? Popcorn? Curtain calls? This is not a theater or a casino.
Deloris: Yeah, but that's the problem. See, people like going to theaters, and they like going to casinos, but they don't like coming to church. Why? Because it's a drag. But we could change all that, see? We could pack this joint.
Reverend: Through blasphemy? You have corrupted the entire choir!
[in the hall, Monsignor O'Hara enters]
Monsignor: Excuse me.
[he listens to the argument between Deloris and Reverend Mother]
Deloris: How can you say that? I worked my butt off with these women! They've given up their free time to do this, and they're good! I mean, sister, we could, we could Rock this place!
Reverend: Out of the question! As of tomorrow, Mary Lazarus resumes her leadership of the choir.
[Monsignor knocks on the door]
Reverend: Come in!

Violet,: Are you quite sure about Lavinia?
Lady: She wasn't Sir Richard's mistress. She gave him the evidence to settle the debt of someone she loved.
Violet,: And this is your beau is it? A man who lends money then uses it to blackmail the recipient?
Lady: He lives in a tough world.
Violet,: And will you be joining him there?

[Lady Sybil and Isobel are proposing setting up a convalescent home at Downton Abbey]
Violet,: I think it's a *ridiculous* idea.
Lady: Why?
Violet,: Because this is a house, not a hospital.
Lady: Granny, a convalescent home is where people rest and recuperate.
Violet,: But if there are relapses. What then? Amputation in the dining room? Rescuscitation in the pantry?
Cora,: It would certainly be the most tremendous disturbance. If you knew how chaotic things are as it is.
Isobel: But when there's so much good can be done.
[Violet stamps her stick on the floor]
Violet,: I forbid it! To have strange men prodding and prying around the house. To say nothing of pocketing the spoons. It's out of the question.
Cora,: I hesitate to remind you, but this is my house now - Robert's and mine. *We* will make the decision.
Violet,: [pause] Oh, I see. So now I'm an outsider... who need not be consulted.
Cora,: Since you put it like that, yes.

Violet,: Would it make any difference if he stayed here, or are you just making him as comfortable as can be?
Hospital: That's it. There's nothing more we can do for him.

[Lady Susan's maid, Wilkins, has tried to get Sarah O'Brien drunk by surreptitiously giving her whisky, but Sarah has given it to Molesley who is now cavorting exuberantly and drunkenly on the dance-floor]
Robert: They do say there's a wild man inside all of us.
Violet: If only he would *stay* inside.

Violet,: [on telephone] Yes. Yes. The Minister. Well, how many Marquesses of Flintshire are there? Is this an instrument of communication or torture? Hello? Shrimpie? It's Aunt Violet. Yes. Very well, very well. And Susan? Good. I won't beat about the bush, dear. Whom might we know on the board of Leeds General Infirmary?

[the governors at the local hospital have asked Cora to take over as president, a role that Violet has performed for many years. Violet regards this as treachery]
Violet,: [to Robert] Tell Cora I do not wish to see her face until I'm used to having a traitor in the family.

Violet: [to Robert] My dearest boy, there is no test on earth greater than the one you have been put to. I do nut speak much of the heart since it seldom helps to do so - but I know well enough the pain when it is broken.

Violet,: [to the collective] Where's Robert? He can't have been drinking port since we left, he'd be under the table by now.

Isobel: Aren't you going to say you're sorry?
Violet: Certainly not! He may not have taken this, or he may have sneaked it into the maid's bucket when we weren't looking.
Isobel: How you hate to be wrong.
Violet: I wouldn't know. I'm not familiar with the sensation.

Isobel: [re: Rose's visit] I couldn't manage an 18 year old, not these days - I wouldn't know what she was talking about !
Violet: My husband was a great traveler, so I've spent many happy evenings without understanding a word. The thing is to keep smiling and *never* look as if you disapprove.

Violet: No one wants to kiss a girl in black.

Tom: I'm glad to find you here because I want to apologize for last night.
Isobel: Oh there's no need, we know it was not your fault.
Violet: You weren't the first drunk in that dining room, I can assure you.
Tom: Only the first Republican
Violet: Well, you've got me there.

Violet,: In my experience second thoughts are vastly overrated.

Cora: I don't dislike Matthew. In fact, I rather admire him.
Violet: Is that sufficient reason to give him your money?
Cora: Well, of course not!
Violet: Then there's nothing more to be said.

Isobel: What should we call each other?
Violet,: Well, we could always start with Mrs. Crawley and Lady Grantham.

Violet: [sarcastically] All this unbridled joy has given me quite an appetite.

Violet,: [to Mrs. Crawley when they realize Mary will not take Matthew despite the fact that he remains the heir to the title and estate] Your quarrel is with my daughter, Rosamund, and not with me. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Violet,: Don't worry - your turn will come.
Lady: Will it? Or am I just to be the maiden aunt? Isn't this what they do? Arrange presents for their prettier relations?
Violet,: Don't be defeatist dear, it's very middle class.

Isobel: I'm not going to drive Mary mad by interfering.
Violet: It's the job of grandmothers to interfere!

Professor: [to Harry and Ron after beating the Mountain Troll] Five points... will be awarded to each of you.
[Ron and Harry smile at each other]
Professor: For sheer dumb luck.

Violet: [after a heated exchange between Lord Grantham and Sarah Bunting at a dinner party celebrating his and Cora's 34th wedding anniversary] If you can all put your swords away, perhaps we can finish our dinner in a civilized manner.
Isobel: But I admire it when young people stand up for their principles.
Violet: Principles are like prayers; noble, of course, but awkward at a party.

Violet,: Does this mean you won't be presented next month?
Lady: Certainly not. Why should it?
Violet,: Well I doubt I'd expect to curtsy to their majesties in June when I'd been arrested at a riot in May, but then I 'm old, things may be different now.

Matthew: So what was the deal you managed to extract from the Home Secretary?
Robert: They don't want to make a martyr of him
[Tom]
Robert: .
Robert: ...and with Sybil, they think they could have another Maud Gonne on their hands, or Lady Gregory, or worse if they're not careful.
Violet: Lady Gregory, Countess Markievicz - why are the Irish rebels so well born?
Robert: Whatever the reason, I don't want Lady Sybil Branson to join their ranks. Mercifully, neither do the Irish authorities.

Violet,: [referring to Mary] She reads too many novels. One way or another, everyone goes down the aisle with half the story hidden.

Violet: One can't go to pieces at the death of every foreigner. We'd all be in a constant state of collapse whenever we opened a newspaper.

Constance,: Are any of the others getting up for breakfast? The women, I mean.
Mary: I think Lady Lavinia may be.
Constance,: That settles it. Come back at half past eight. I'll get dressed. It's the greatest bore, of course, but I don't want to miss anything.

Violet,: First, electricity, now telephones. Sometimes I feel as if I were living in an H.G. Wells novel.

Violet,: ...I am in need...

Deloris: What do we do now? Pray? What?
Reverend: It's 9:00. Pleasant dreams.
Deloris: W-Wait. Are you tellin' me we go to bed by 9:00?
Reverend: If I were you, I would use this time to think about my life and its direction. Or lack thereof.
Deloris: There's nothing wrong with my life. You know, before I came here, I had a career, I had friends, I had clothing that fit. Before I came here, I was okay.
Reverend: Oh, really? From what I've heard, your singing career was almost non-existent, and your married lover wants you dead. If you're fooling anyone, it is only yourself.
[pointedly]
Reverend: God has brought you here. Take the hint.

Dr. Clarkson: [about Mrs. Crawley helping out at the hospital] It seems that she is going to stay on in the foreseeable future.
Violet: Nobody can foresee the future, Doctor. Not you, not I, and *certainly* not Mrs. Crawley.

Violet: I do not speak much of the heart, since it's seldom helpful to do so.

Martha: [as the two women are walking to their bedrooms] Oh, oh, off to bed are we? Well that's very sensible. A woman your age needs her rest.
Violet: You need a rest cure if you were taken in by that booby Aysgarth.
Martha: Violet, forgive me, and I don't mean to sound offensive, but are you always this stuck up?
Violet: Oh, do tell me, do tell me, is the new Lady Aysgarth all set to hold London enthralled with Tales of How the West was won?
Martha: Actually I turned him down.
Violet: Oh. You surprise me.
Martha: I'm sure. You see I have no wish to be a great lady.
Violet: No. A decision that must be reinforced whenever you look in the glass.

Violet: It's classic Rosamund. She's never so righteous as when she's wrong.

Violet: [commenting on Strallan's look of dread as he waits for Edith at the altar] He looks as though he's waiting for a beating from the headmaster.
Reverend: Do you think I should reassure him?
Violet: How? He's done it before, so he must be in possession of all the facts.
Reverend: Perhaps the first Lady Strallan was difficult act to follow.
Violet: ...or a difficult one to repeat.

Violet: [speaking to Susan about where she and 'Shrimpie' will be posted] Do you know where it will be?
Susan: No, but it will be filthy and dirty, and the food will be awful, and there'll be no one to talk to for a hundred square miles.
Violet: [sarcastically] That sounds like a week with my mother-in-law.

Violet: If anything happens to Edith and Cora learns later we knew all along, she would never forgive us... and I wouldn't blame her. You see, as a mother it is her right.
Lady: But you don't plan to tell Robert. He *is* Edith's father.
Violet: He's a man. Men don't have rights.

[in a casino, to a group of nuns all dressed in full habit]
Reverend: Brace yourself, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to blend in.

Violet,: You see, sometimes we must let the blow fall by degrees. Give him time to find the strength to face it.

Violet: Sybil, vulgarity is no substitute for wit.

Violet: In my day a lady was incapable of feeling physical attraction until she'd been instructed to do so by her mama.
Lady: I don't believe that.
Violet: Seriously, my dear, you have to take control of your feelings before they take control of you.

Violet,: [to Mrs. Crawley] You are quite wonderful, the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
Isobel: I take that as a compliment.
[turns and walks in the other direction]
Violet,: [laughs] I must have said it wrong.

[William has only a few hours to live, after being gravely wounded in France. Lady Violet wants the local vicar to marry William and Daisy]
Reverend: This boy is in extremis. How can we know that these are his true wishes? Maybe the kitchenmaid somehow hopes to catch at an advantage.
Violet,: What advantage would that be?
Reverend: Some widow's dole given by a grateful nation.
Violet,: Mr Travis, may I remind you? William Mason has served our family well. At the last he saved the life, if not the health, of my son's heir. Now he wishes, before he dies, to marry his sweetheart.
Reverend: Yes, but...
Violet,: You cannot imagine that we would allow you to prevent this happening in case his widow claimed her dole?
Reverend: No, but...
Violet,: I have had an interest in this boy. I tried, and failed, to save him from conscription, but I will certainly attend his wedding. Is that an argument in its favour?
Reverend: Of course, but...
Violet,: Finally I would point out, your living is in Lord Grantham's gift. Your house is on Lord Grantham's land and the very flowers in your church are from Lord Grantham's garden. I hope it is not vulgar in me to suggest that you find some way to overcome your scruples.

Violet: Really, Robert, you paint me as such a schemer.
Robert: No one has sharper eyes than a loving son.
Violet: You read that somewhere!
Robert: Why do you think I can never make anything up?

Tom: They turned everyone out of the castle - Lord and Lady John Guillamore, their sons, and all the servants, and then they set fire to it.
Lady: What a tragedy.
Violet: Well, rather yes and no, that house *was* hideous... of course that is no excuse.

Violet: [to Cora] I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I'm with her I'm reminded of the virtues of the English.
Matthew: But isn't she American?
Violet: Exactly.

Isobel: We've asked Moseley to look out Matthew's old morning coat, He's confident he can make it fit.
Tom: That's very kind, ladies, but, you see, I don't approve of these costumes. I see them as the uniform of oppression, and I should be uncomfortable wearing them.
Violet: Are you quite finished?
Tom: I have.
Violet: Good. Please take off your coat.

Evelyn: Is this your first experience of jazz, Lady Grantham?
Violet: Oh, is that what it is? Do you think any of them know what the others are playing?

Isobel: [trying to get Pegg employment as an apprentice gardener] Then will you take young Pegg? He impressed me so favorably.
Violet: [sarcastically] I wonder your halo doesn't grow heavy. It must be like wearing a tiara around the clock.

Dr. Clarkson: Lady Grantham would have made a powerfully ally.
Violet: I hope you are not suggesting that she might be more powerful than I?

Susan: [in the church] I don't believe it. Is that it? Am I just expected to be a good loser.
Violet: It's too late for that, my dear... far too late.

Violet: If reason fails, try force!

Isobel: How is Spratt?
Violet: Well, I think. Why do you ask?
Isobel: He wasn't there to open the door. I wondered if he might be ill.
Violet: Oh, no, no, he's not ill. He's in Liverpool. His niece got married yesterday and Spratt had to take her down the aisle.
Isobel: Oh. Seems rather unlikely to think of Spratt with a private life.
Violet: Mmm. Unlikely. And extremely inconvenient.
Isobel: But you can't begrudge him that, surely. Servants are human beings too.
Violet: Yes. Preferably only on their days off.

Robert: Hello Mama, can I tempt you to one of these new cocktails?
Violet: I don't think so - they look too exciting for so early in the evening...

Violet,: [In reference to her having known Lord Hepworth's father in her youth] Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?
[But where are the snows of yesteryear?]

Violet: There's nothing simpler than avoiding people you don't like. Avoiding one's friends - that's the real test.

[Robert has found an unofficial will in Matthew's possessions, returned after his death several months ago in a car crash; he asks Violet's advice as to whether he should give it to Mary]
Violet: Of *course* you must give it to her.
Robert: But what if it has no legal status? I don't want to build her hopes up, only to have them dashed.
Violet: Robert, Matthew intended Mary to be his sole heiress. That will mean a great deal to her, whether or not it's legal. Can't you see that?
Robert: But is it right to exclude George?
Violet: Well, right or not, it's what he wanted. Besides, it's not up to you. Mary must read it. Or are you trying to hide from the truth?
Robert: What truth?
Violet: That you would prefer to be in sole charge of the estate, and not share the crown with Mary.
Robert: Don't be silly. This won't make any difference to all that. She won't *want* to get involved.
Violet: [to Robert in a sarcastic, chiding way] When you talk like that, I'm tempted to ring for Nanny and have you put to bed with no supper.

Violet,: We can't have him assassinated. I suppose.

Violet: [to Cora] Rose's evening had a bumpy start. I'm afraid Susan isn't herself.
Lady: [with bitterness when speaking about her mother] But she's absolutely herself... that's the problem.
Violet: [to Cora] Poor souls. It's bad enough parenting a child when you like each other.

Sybil: 16 years I've lived and taught here! Hogwarts is my home! You can't do this!
Dolores: Actually, I can.
[McGonagall arrives and tries to comfort Trelawney]
Dolores: Something you'd like to say, dear?
Minerva: Oh, there are several things I would like to say!
[Dumbledore arrives]
Albus: Professor McGonagall, might I ask you to escort Sybil back inside?
Minerva: Sybil, dear, this way.
Sybil: [shakes Dumbledore's hand] Oh, thank you! Thank you!
Dolores: Dumbledore, may I remind you that under the terms of Educational Decree #23, as enacted by the Minister...
Albus: You have the right to dismiss my teachers. You do not, however, have the authority to banish them from the grounds. That power remains with the headmaster.
Dolores: For now.

[Lady Rose comes downstairs in a ballgown with a low neckline]
Susan: Rose, you are not wearing that dress, and that is final.
Lady: Oh! Daddy, please stick up for me.
Susan: She looks like a slut.
Violet: Heavens. That's not a word you often hear among the heather.
Lady: But Princess Mary has one just like it. It's the fashion now.
Susan: Then it is a *mad* fashion. Aunt Violet, tell her.
Violet: Oh, my dear, in my time I wore the crinoline, the bustle and the leg-of-mutton sleeve. I'm not in a strong position to criticise.
Hugh: Rose, take Aunt Violet through to the ballroom now.
[realizing that Rose has won, Violet gives her a smirk of victory]

Isobel: I'm a feeble substitute for the entire Crawley family.
Violet: [sarastically] Mmm, yes, but you're better than nothing.
Isobel: [sarcastically] How warming you make that sound!

Violet,: Now, Sybil, dear, this sort of thing is all very well in novels, but in reality, it can prove very uncomfortable. And while I am sure Branson has many virtues...
Robert: [Robert looks at her in shock]
Violet,: [Puts her hand up to prevent Robert from interrupting] Well, no, no... he's a good driver.

Violet: [referring to Rosamund's old French teacher] Poor mademoiselle. Her life was full of complications.

Violet: Nothing succeeds like excess.

Professor: Mr. Davis! Mr. Davis, that is the girls' lavatory.

Violet,: I will be off.
Robert,: Why not stay and say Hello?
Violet,: Oh... I have a feeling Cora and I will be saying hello rather less than... en garde!... in the next few weeks.

Violet,: I know those men of the moral high ground - if she won't say yes when he might be poor, he won't want her when he *will* be rich.

Cora: Things are different in America.
Violet,: I know. They live in wigwams.

Violet: [to Isobel] Does it ever get cold on the moral high ground ?

Violet: She can't protect him in the dining room...

Cora,: [smiling] Are we to be friends then?
Violet,: [after a very long pause] We are allies, which can be a good deal more effective.

Violet,: And has Lord Flintshire's order been acted on?
Hospital: It has. There's an ambulance waiting although no-one quite knows how you managed it.

Violet,: What on earth is it?
Lavinia: A gramophone. Some cousins of mine have given it to us.
Violet,: You should stand well clear when you light the blue touch paper.

[during dinner, several of the Grantham family have been stricken with Spanish flu]
Violet,: Wasn't there a masked ball in Paris when cholera broke out? Half the guests were dead before they left the ballroom.
Robert: [sarcastically] Thank you, Mama. That's cheered us up no end.

Violet,: Well... give him a date for when Mary's out of mourning. No one wants to kiss a girl in black...

Violet,: Oh, dear, such a glare. I feel as if I were on stage at the Gaiety.

Professor: The house of Godric Gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for nearly ten centuries. I will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons!
Fred: [whispering to George] Try saying that five times fast.
George: [whispering] Babbling, bumbling band of baboons.
Fred: [whispering] Babbling, bumbling band of baboons.

[last lines]
Constance: Could you imagine someone being hanged because of something I said.
Mary: I know. And what purpose could it possibly serve?

Violet,: [talking of how to introduce Mary to more society] How about some house parties?
Cora: She's been asked to one next month by Lady Anne McNair.
Violet,: Most terrible idea; she doesn't know anyone under a hundred.
Cora: I might send her over to visit my aunt; she could get to know New York.
Violet,: Oh, I don't think things are quite that desperate.

Violet,: Don't you care about Downton?
Robert: What do you think? I have given my life to Downton. I was born here, and I hope to die here. I claim no career beyond the nurture of this house and the estate. It's my third parent and my fourth child.

Isobel: [about the hospital] Who pays for it?
Violet: Oh good, let's talk about money.

Violet: Are you really that tall?
Alfred: Yes, m'lady.
Violet: I thought you might have been walking on stilts.

Violet,: I used to think Mary's beau was a mésalliance, but compared to this he's positively a Hapsburg.

Violet: I'm afraid Tom's small talk is very small indeed!
Robert: Not everyone can be Oscar Wilde.
Violet: That's a relief!

Violet,: Good heavens, what am I sitting on?
Matthew: A swivel chair.
Violet,: Another modern brain wave?
Matthew: Not very modern. They were invented by Thomas Jefferson.
Violet,: Why does every day involve a fight with an American?
Matthew: I'll fetch you a different one.
Violet,: No, no, no, no, I'm a good sailor.

Violet: I won't take sides, it's true. But I don't think I could ever be described as "neutral".

Lady: What do you think?
Violet: Nothing succeeds like excess.

Violet: All this endless thinking. It's very overrated... I blame the war. Before 1914 nobody thought about anything at all.

[the estate manager has resigned because of Matthew's proposed changes, and Cora and Violet suggest that Robert offers the job to Tom]
Robert: I'll do it on one condition - no, two. First, Matthew must agree.
Cora: He will.
Robert: Second, you will both admit it when you realise you were wrong.
Violet: Oh, well, that is an easy caveat to accept, because I'm *never* wrong.

Violet: If I was seduced by a man, I would not let any grass grow under his feet, if he offered to do the decent thing.
Lady: I wasn't seduced, granny.
Violet: A young woman of good family who finds herself in the bed of a man who is not her husband has invariably been seduced.
Lady: She couldn't have gone to bed with him of her own free will?
Violet: *Not* if she was the daughter of an earl.

Lady: [to Sybil] Why don't I drive you?
Violet: [sarcstically] She's taking enough chance with her life as it is.
Lady: Oh Granny...
Violet: What is this driving mania?

Lavinia: This room is so pretty. Has this house always been the Painswicks' London home?
Violet: There's no 'always' with the Painswicks, my dear. They were invented from scratch by my son-in-law's grandfather.
Lady: We bought the house when we were married.
Lavinia: You make Mr. Painswick sound rather a rough diamond, Lady Grantham.
Lady: Marmaduke wasn't a rough diamond was he, Mama?
Violet: No. He was just cut and polished comparatively recently.

Monsignor: You took a vow of hospitality for all in need.
Reverend: I lied.

Cora: I think Granny's right.
Violet: Can somebody write that down?

Violet: [to Violet] Sometimes it's good to rule by fear.

Violet: The presence of strangers is the only guarantee of good behavior.

[Morris Weissman is asked about his upcoming movie project]
Lady: Mr Weissman.
Morris: Yes?
Lady: Tell us about the film you're going to make.
Morris: Oh, sure. It's called "Charlie Chan In London". It's a detective story.
Mabel: Set in London?
Morris: Well, not really. Most of it takes place at a shooting party in a country house. Sort of like this one, actually. Murder in the middle of the night, a lot of guests for the weekend, everyone's a suspect. You know, that sort of thing.
Constance: How horrid. And who turns out to have done it?
Morris: Oh, I couldn't tell you that. It would spoil it for you.
Constance: Oh, but none of us will see it.

Violet: [crossly, after Pratt has been hinting at knowing something] You're testing me, Spratt... and I warn you, being tested does not bring out the best in me!

Violet: A change is as good as a rest.

Constance: Awfully long repertoire.

Violet,: Cora tells me Matthew's gone missing. Is that true?
Robert: There's no proof of anything yet.
Violet,: I see. Well, I need more than that to make me anxious.
Robert: I'm glad you would be anxious.
Violet,: Of course, I would be. We're used to Matthew now. God knows who the next heir will be! Probably a chimney sweep from Solihull.

Professor: Potter, take Weasley with you. He looks far too happy over there.

Violet,: Oh, roll up, roll up, visit an actual dining room! Complete with a real life table and chairs!

Lady: [re Isobel] I suppose she is entitled to put up an argument.
Violet: Of course she is. She's just not allowed to *win* it.

Lady: Ah, Granny, thank God you're here. What else could I tell them about the library?
Violet,: The library was assembled by the fourth Earl. He loved books.
Lady: What else did he collect?
Violet,: Horses and women.

Violet: Thank you, my dear. That's very kind. How much do I owe you?
Lady: A guinea.
Violet: A guinea? For a bottle of scent? Did he have a mask and a gun?

[talking about Martha Levinson who is being insufferable]
Violet: [whispers] Just how long is she here for?
Robert: [whispers] Who knows.
Violet: [whispers] No guest should be admitted without the date of their departure being settled.
Robert: [whispers] You won't get any argument from me.

Violet: An unlucky friend is tiresome enough; an unlucky acquaintance is intolerable.
Isobel: You're all heart.

Violet: Let's hope the end of the War means the return of the footman, Mr. Crawley.

Violet: Don't be mysterious. It's the last resort of people with no secrets.

Reverend: I shall ask Monsignor O'Hara and Lt. Souther to find a safer, and more suitable situation for you.
Deloris: Oh, no. Come on. Don't send me away. Really. I mean, I'm just startin' to get the hang of this. I mean, look. I'm not gonna endanger anyone or anything else. I swear! What about forgiveness? Isn't that what you preach? There's gotta be something around here I can do that's not gonna chip my nails or annoy anybody.
Reverend: You're right, Mary Clarence. To err is human, to forgive divine. You may stay. But I shall restrict your activities to a single task.
Deloris: What's that?
Reverend: Singing. You will join the choir.
Deloris: Choir? No!
Reverend: You will sleep and you will sing. That will be your task until you leave.
Deloris: No! The choir? I mean, have you heard them?
Reverend: The choir, Mary Clarence.

Violet: Love may not conquer all, but it can conquer quite a lot.

Matthew: [to Matthew] What will you do with your time?
Lady: I've got a job in Ripon. I've said I'll start tomorrow.
Robert: A job? You do know I mean to involve you in the running of the estate.
Matthew: Don't worry. There are plenty of hours in the day. And, of course, I'll have the weekend.
Violet: What is a weekend?

Violet: There you all are - *plotting*.

[Constance's car is pulled over to the side of the road]
Morris: Hello? Is everything all right? Are you ok?
Constance,: Am I *what*?

Violet,: I'm afraid your meddling has cost Mary the only decent offer she'll ever get.
Lady: I'm sorry, Mama, but you know me. I have to say what I think.
Violet,: Why? Nobody else does.

Violet: One forgets about parenthood. The on-and-on-ness of it.
Isobel: Were you a very involved mother with Robert and Rosamund?
Violet: Does it surprise you?
Isobel: A bit. I'd imagined them surrounded by nannies and governesses, being starched and ironed to spend an hour with you after tea.
Violet: Yes, but it was an hour *every day*.
Isobel: [momentarily lost for words] I see, yes. How tiring!

Lady: [morosely] The truth is I don't think I'm going to be a very good mother.
Violet: Why not?
Lady: Because somehow with Matthew's death, all the softness that he found in me seems to have dried up and drained away.

Robert,: [re Minister of Health attending dinner] What power did you use to get him here?
Violet: The power of personality. It works for me.

[after all Robert's evening-dress shirts have gone missing, he is forced to come down to dinner in a black tie and white shirt, much to the horror of the ladies]
Violet: [glancing at Robert, while flustered] Do you think I might have a drink?
Violet: [looking more closely at Robert] Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.

Sir: [watching the family playing its annual gane of charades] Do you enjoy these games in which the player must appear ridiculous?
Violet,: Sir Richard, life is a game, where the player must appear ridiculous.
Sir: Not my life.

Robert: [Edith is considering writing for a newspaper] Mama, talk to her. Talk to all of them. Say something sensible.
Isobel: Yes, let's hear how a woman's place is in the home.
Violet: I do think a woman's place is eventually in the home, but I see no harm in her having some fun before she gets there.
Lady: Oh Granny! Thank you!
Isobel: [to Violet] Have you changed your pills?
Robert: [chuckles]
Violet: And another thing. I mean, Edith isn't getting any younger. Perhaps she isn't cut out for domestic life.
Lady: [sighs]

Dolores: Pardon me, Professor, but what exactly are you insinuating?
Minerva: I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students you conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices.
Dolores: So silly of me, but it sounds as if you're questioning my authority in my own classroom, Minerva.
Minerva: Not at all, Dolores, merely your medieval methods.
Dolores: I am sorry, dear, but to question my practices is to question the Ministry, and by extension, the Minister himself. I am a tolerant woman, but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty.
Minerva: Disloyalty?
Dolores: Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared. Cornelius will want to take immediate action.

Violet: [to Robert upon the arrival of weekend visitors] No guest should be admitted without the date of their departure settled.

Violet: Robert, people like us are *never* unhappily married.
Robert: What do we do if we are?
Violet: Well, in those moments, a couple is unable to see as much of each other as they would like.

[Violet has just had a very catty conversation with Martha Levinson, Cora's mother]
Lady: There you are. I see you've said hello to Grandmama.
Violet: She is like a homing pigeon. She finds our underbelly every time... Dreadful woman!

Dr. Clarkson: [the Dowager is trying to convince him to persuade Cora and Robert there was no chance to save Sybil] So, you want me to talk to them and say there was no chance at all.
Violet: *Lie* is so unmusical a word. I want you to review the evidence honestly and without bias,
Dr. Clarkson: Even to ease suffering, I could never justify telling an outright *lie*.
Violet: Have we *nothing* in common?

Mother: You are the perfect example of a how a sow's ear can be turned into a silk purse.
Sister: Hmm. Well, I probably wouldn't put it quite like that.

Isobel: What should we call each other?
Violet: Well, we could always start with Mrs Crawley and Lady Grantham.

Constance: Tell me, what happened to William's little maid? I never saw her again after that dinner.
Mary: Elsie?
Constance: Hmm.
Mary: She's gone.
Constance: Aw, it's a pity, really. I thought it was a good idea to have someone in the house who is actually sorry he's dead.

Sir: Why do we have to serve ourselves at luncheon?
Robert: It's a Downton tradition. They have their feast at lunchtime and we have ours in the evening.
Sir: But why can't they eat earlier and serve us like they usually do?
Lady: Because it's Christmas Day!
Sir: It's not how we'll do it at Haxby.
Violet,: Which I can easily believe.

Violet: I don't dislike him. I just don't like him, which is quite different.

Violet,: [drolly, after a dinner guest gets food spilled on her and the butler suffers an apparent heart attack, to another guest] You'll find there's never a dull moment with this house.

Lady: [re: Henry Talbot's thin chance at peerage] Forty strong men would have to drop dead.
Violet: Well, nothing is impossible.

Malfoy: Why so tense, Potter? My father and I have a bet, you see. I don't think you're going to last ten minutes in this tournament. He disagrees. He thinks you won't last five!
[laughs]
Harry: [enraged] I don't give a damn what your father thinks, Malfoy! He's vile and cruel, and you're just pathetic!
Malfoy: Pathetic?
[draws his wand]
Professor: OH NO, YOU DON'T, SONNY!
[transifgures Malfoy into a ferret]
Professor: I'll teach you to curse someone when their back is turned!
[proceeds to flick the ferret up and down]
Professor: You stinking, cowardly, scummy...
Professor: [running up to Professor Moody] Professor Moody!
Professor: Back-shooting...
Professor: Wha- What are you doing?
Professor: Teaching.
Professor: Is that a- Is that a student?
Professor: Technically, it's a ferret.
[dumps the ferret down Crabbe's trousers]
Gregory: Stand still! Stand still!
[Attempts to remove the ferret from Crabbe's trousers, only to be bitten. Moody turns and winks at a Harry, who is laughing gleefully. The ferret crawls out of Crabbe's trousers, and McGonagall turns Malfoy back into his normal human self]
Malfoy: [standing up] My father will hear about this!
Professor: Is that a threat?
[Malfoy turns and runs]
Professor: Professor Moody...
Professor: IS THAT A THREAT?
Professor: Professor...
Professor: I CAN TELL YOU STORIES ABOUT YOUR FATHER THAT'LL CURL EVEN YOUR GREASY HAIR, BOY!
Professor: Alastor!
Professor: IT DOESN'T END HERE!
Professor: Alastor! We NEVER use transfiguration as a punishment! surely, Dumbledore told you that?
Professor: He might've mentioned it.
Professor: Well, you will do well to remember it.
[turns around]
Professor: [to a group of students standing nearby] Away!
[as she walks away, Moody sticks his tongue out at her]
Professor: [turns to Harry] You. Come with me.

Reverend: [about Deloris] She isn't a nun. Her real name is Deloris van Cartier. She witnessed a vicious murder and has been hiding in our convent
Choir: She... she lied to us?
Sister: She wasn't a nun?
Sister: But she made us sing so perfectly!
Sister: [thoughtfully] Now that should have tipped us...

Lady: [about Lord Hepworth] I know he has no fortune, if that's what you mean.
Violet,: No fortune? He's lucky not to be playing the violin in Leicester Square.

Spratt: [walks into kitchen; to Denker] So, this is the famous broth.
Miss: What else would it be?
Spratt: Are you ready to be judged on it?
Miss: I should be judged by you, Mr. Spratt, whatever happens.
Spratt: If you mean I will judge you for promoting yourself through lies and fraud, then, yes, I will. So will she. Your unmasking is at hand.
[leaves the room]
Spratt: [Miss Denker smells the broth, and whimpers]
Violet: [enters the room with Spratt] Oh, Denker.
Miss: Oh.
Violet: I was talking menus with Mrs. Potter and Spratt reminded me about the broth. He didn't want your efforts to be overlooked.
Miss: I'm sure he didn't. Not a chance.
Spratt: Of course the proof of the pudding is in the eating, m'lady.
Violet: Indeed.
[to Denker]
Violet: May I taste it?
Miss: [frightened] Uh... uh...
Violet: [takes a spoon from Denker] Thank you.
[tastes the broth; purses lips in a sign of disgust]
Spratt: I warned you, m'lady.
Violet: [obviously lying] It is... delicious.
Spratt: [shocked] It can't be. It's not possible!
Violet: There's a point, Spratt, where malice ceases to be amusing. I thank you, Denker, very much. I'm not hungry enough to do your soup justice this evening. Let us save its delights for another day.
Miss: Whatever you wish, Your Ladyship. Thank you.
Violet: Thank you.
[leaves]
Miss: Ha ha!
[laughs at Spratt and throws a towel at him]

Violet: [to Lord Robert] Why do you always have to be nicer than the rest of us?

Constance,: The time to make up your mind about people is never.

Violet: My facts are the true facts.

Constance: Bought marmalade? Oh dear, I call that very feeble.

Mother: God help us.

Mother: We are desperate women.
Sister: Hmm mmm.

Constance: They're rather a mixed bunch. That Mr. Weissman's very odd. Apparently, he produces motion pictures. The Charlie Chan Mysteries. Or does he direct them? I never know the difference. Mary! I suppose it's fun having a film star staying but there's always so little to talk about after the first flush of recognition. And why has Freddy Nesbitt brought that awful common little wife of his? Isabel only asked him because another gun dropped out; that's no excuse to inflict her on us all. Mary... Tomorrow, I'll have breakfast in bed, and then get straight up into the tweeds. What shirt have you brought?
Mary: The green with the pink stripe.
Constance: Oh no dear, no. No, that's quite wrong. Always something very plain for country sports - the one I wore today will do.
Mary: But it's soiled.
Constance: Well you can wash it, can't you?

Reverend: I fear I am a relic, and I have misplaced my tambourine.

Violet: Ellen Terry has nothing on you when it comes to stringing out a moment.

Isobel: I suspect she's quite a tough nut.
Violet: And I'm quite a tough nutcracker.

Violet: [sarcastically] You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal!
Cora: I take that as a compliment.
Violet: [drolly] I must have said it wrong.

Mary: They said Sir William was planning to cut Lady Sylvia out of his will in favour of Miss Isobel.
Constance,: That's nothing. In the new will, Sir William left Lady Stockbridge 100,000 pounds. Sylvia thinks it's a huge joke, especially since she won't have to pay it.

Violet: I never take sides in a broken marriage.
Hugh: Why is that?
Violet: Because however much the couple may strive to be honest, no one is ever in possession of the facts.

Joseph: I've got Erysipelas, Your Ladyship.
Violet,: Ooh... oh, I am sorry.
Dr. Clarkson: Mrs. Crawley tells me she's recommended nitrate of silver and tincture of steel.
Violet,: Well, is she making a suit of armor?

Violet: Oh, Carson
Charles: Good afternoon, my Lady
Violet: We've seen some troubles, you and I. Nothing worse than this
Charles: Nothing could be worse than this, my Lady

Violet: What is the latest... from your aging Romeo?

[confiding to Isobel why she is spending a month in the south of France]
Violet: My reason for travelling is to make myself eager to come home. A month among the French should manage it.

Violet: What do you mean, you wrote to a newspaper? No lady writes to a newspaper!
Lady: What about Lady Sarah Wilson? She's the daughter of a duke, and she worked as a war journalist
Violet: Well, she's a Churchill. The Churchills are different

Violet,: [Drolly sarcastic about converting Downton to a convalesent home] Oh, really it's living in a second-rate hotel, where the guests continue arriving, and no one seems to leave.

Violet,: Mary, listen to me. If you take Matthew now, when his whole future is at risk, he will love you to the end of his days.

Violet: [about the refurbished room at the Crawley house] It always seemed rather dark when my mother-in-law lived here; but then, she made everything rather dark.

[Many years ago, Sylvia and Louisa cut cards to decide which of them would marry Sir William. Louisa lost]
Constance: Anyone care for a game of bridge after dinner? Louisa, how about you?
Louisa: Oh, I don't think so. I've rather gone off cards. I've never been very lucky with them.
Sir: Me too.

[everyone starts clapping after Ivor has finished a song]
Constance: Please, don't encourage him

Isobel: How you hate to be wrong.
Violet: I wouldn't know, I'm not familiar with the sensation.

Violet: [to Carson; walking down a hall] I was so afraid I was going to be late.
[comes around a corner where Martha Levinson, just arrived stands]
Martha: Violet.
[gives Violet an awkward hug]
Martha: Oh dear. I'm afraid the war has made old women of us both.
Violet: I wouldn't say that, but then I always keep out of the sun. How'd you find Downton on your return?
Martha: Much the same, really. Probably too much the same but then I don't want to cast a ball over all the happiness.
Violet: How could you ever do that?
Martha: Tell me, what do you think of young Lochinvar who has so ably carried off our granddaughter and our money? Do you approve of him?
Violet: Not as much as you will when you get to know him.
Martha: Hmm. Has he gone home to change?
Violet: Oh no, he won't be going again tonight. The groom never sees the bride the night before the wedding.
Martha: Nothing ever alters for you people, does it? Revolutions erupt and monarchies crash to the ground and the groom still cannot see the bride before the wedding.
Violet: You Americans never understand the importance of tradition!
Martha: Yes we do. We just don't give it power over us. History and tradition took Europe into a world war. Maybe you should think about letting go of its hand.

Spratt: [Showing them in] Mrs. Crawley and Doctor Clarkson your ladyship.
[Exits]
Violet: To what do I owe this treat?
Dr. Clarkson: Lady Grantham, you've already changed for dinner, we' ll um, we'll come back tomorrow.
Violet: My curiosity would not brook such a delay.
Isobel: Did Spratt give you the paper knife?
Violet: Yes.
Isobel: Then it's quite clear that Peg did not steal it. Or are you going to argue now that he sneaked it back in here when he realized what kind of trouble he was in?
Violet: [ringing for Spratt] Well, it's a thought.
Isobel: But a despicable one. What can I say to persuade you out of your injustice and stubbornness? Can't you see the damage you do?
Dr. Clarkson: Now, hold your horses, Mrs. Crawley. Lady Grantham has a right to reply.
Violet: Thank you, Doctor Clarkson. Now if you'll put up your cudgels for a moment...
[Spratt enters]
Violet: Oh, Spratt, has the young gardener Pegg brought in the vegetables yet?
Isobel: What?
Spratt: He's in the kitchen now, m'lady.
Violet: Please ask him to step in here.
Spratt: Into the... drawing room, your ladyship?
Violet: Well, ask him to remove his boots if that will soothe your nerves.
[He exits]
Isobel: [wide eyed] I don't understand.
Violet: No, if you wish to understand things you must come out from behind your prejudice and listen.
[Spratt enters with Pegg who is in his stocking feet]
John: Your ladyship?
Violet: Yes. Could you give an account to Mrs. Crawley of what transpired between us this afternoon?
John: [uncomprehending] I'm... sorry, m'lady?
Violet: Tell her what I said to you.
John: Her Ladyship sent for me, so I came. She said she'd been mistaken, in saying that I were a thief, which she knew now to be untrue. She gave me my job back, said she was sorry, and asked if I could forgive her.
Dr. Clarkson: Which you have?
John: I certainly have, doctor.
Violet: Thank you. You may go.
Spratt: Out, now.
[Spratt and Pegg exit]
Violet: Well?
Isobel: Well.
Dr. Clarkson: I'd say that was game, set, and match to Lady Grantham.

Lady: How can I present myself if I don't know the facts...
Violet: It never stopped *me*!

Robert: [Speaking to Lady Grantham, who has responded to a summons to speak with Violet] Tell her about James and Patrick-she won't have heard.
Violet,: [Scene switches to Drawing Room]
[Speaking to Lady Grantham]
Violet,: Of course I've heard! Why else would I be here?

Violet: I was raised in a hard school and I fight accordingly.

Violet,: [to Dr. Clarkson re: Lord Merton] A peer in favor of reform is like a turkey in favor of Christmas.

Mother: Go with God, Crispy.

Violet: The groom *never* sees the bride the night before the wedding.
Martha: Nothing ever alters for you people, does it? Revolutions erupt and monarchies crash to the ground, and the groom still cannot see the bride before the wedding.

Violet: I hate Greek drama where everything happens offstage.

Violet: [to Matthew] I would just say one thing. Marriage is a long business. There's no getting out of it for our kind of people. Now you may live forty - fifty years with one of these women. Just make sure you have selected the right one.

Violet: [to Robert] Why do you always treat me as if I were a salmon who laid my eggs in the gravel and then swam back to the sea?

Reverend: [about Deloris] That is not a person you can hide. That is a conspicuous person designed to stick out.

Sister: [looking at Reno from the helicopter] It's beautiful!
Sister: And what a lovely name, Reno!
Reverend: ...and Gomorrah!

Matthew: [regarding broken crockery after his fight with Carlisle] Sorry about the vase.
Violet,: Don't be, don't be. It was a wedding present from a frightful aunt. I have hated it for half a century.

Violet: Never let tenderness be a bar to snooping.

Matthew: The question is, what do I say to Cousin Violet?
Robert: Oh, don't worry about that. I can handle her.
Violet,: [Violet enters the room] Really? Well if you can, you must have learned to *very* recently.

Deloris: [after putting on the habit] Oh, no! No, no, no! I can't do this. I'm sorry. This is fine for covering a little bulge, but now I've got holster hips!
Reverend: People wish to kill you. Anyone who's met you I imagine. A disguise is necessary to protect us all. While you are here, you will conduct yourself as a nun. Only I will know who and what you truly are. You will draw no attention to yourself whatsoever.
Deloris: But look at me! I'm a nun! I'm a - I'm a penguin!
Reverend: As from now and until you leave, you are Sister Mary Clarence.
Deloris: Mary Clarence? Like Clarence Williams III from The Mod Squad?
Reverend: Mary is in deference to our Holy Mother. The Clarence is in honor of Saint Clarence of Concordia. There are 3 vows every nun must accept: The vow of poverty.
Deloris: Mmm.
Reverend: The vow of obedience.
Deloris: Mm-Hmm.
Reverend: And the vow of chastity.
Deloris: I am outta here with that.

Anthony: Darling Granny, you know how much I value your advice.
Violet: Which means you intend to ignore it.

Lady: Where's that wretched Mabel.
Constance,: Has anyone checked her outfit? She's probably in black velvet with a feather in her hair.
Lavinia: She's in the morning room looking perfectly normal. Don't be such a snob aunt Constance.
Constance,: Me? I haven't a snobish bone in my body.

Violet: No life is rewarding if you think too much about it.

Violet: The truth is neither here nor there. It's the look of the thing that matters.

Robert: Do be logical.
Violet,: I am sick and tired of logic. If I could choose between principle and logic, I'd take principle *every* time!

Violet,: What is a "weekend"?

Violet: I worry about you. That sort of thing is so horrid.
Lady: Being jilted at the altar, yes, it is horrid.

Violet: Goodbye, Sybil, and good luck with it all.
Lady: Thank you for being such a sport.
Violet: It's a big step you're taking, dear, but war deals out strange tasks. Remember your great aunt Roberta.
Lady: What about her?
Violet: She loaded the guns at Lakhnau.

Violet,: What is a weekEND?

Dr. Clarkson: [acknowledging Violet's graciousness in recognizing Isobel's selflesnes in nursing her] You will be rewarded in Heaven.
Violet: [tomgue in cheek] The sooner the better.

Lady: No one ever learned anything from a governess except for French, and how to curtsy.
Violet,: What more do you need?

Violet: [to Kuragin] Don't proclaim your intransigience as a virtue.

Violet,: [ref.to Lavinia Swire's tiny frame] She's so slight a real necklace would flatten her.

Violet: [to Mrs. Crawley] You must know by now I never answer any question more incriminating than whether or not I need a rug.

Violet,: [to Cora] I come in peace.

Lady: How tiny the Glens make one feel...
Violet: [swatting flies] That is the thing about nature, there's so *much* of it.

Violet,: [entering he room where the fight between Richard and Matthew has just been broken up] Oh, what on earth's the matter?
Sir: I'm leaving the morning, Lady Grantham; I doubt we'll meet again.
Violet,: [with satisfaction] Do you promise?

Violet,: I'm a woman, Mary. I can be as contrary as I choose.

Constance: Mary, I don't think I'll wear that shirt after all. The other one's warmer, that's all I care about.

Violet,: Don't worry. I believe in rules and traditions and playing our part. But there is something else.
Lady: And what is that, pray?
Violet,: I believe in love. I mean, brilliant careers, rich lives, are seldom led without just an element of love.
Lady: Oh, Granny. You do surprise me.
Violet,: Oh, I am glad. So climbing all those stairs wasn't wasted.

Violet: [to Spratt] If you were talking in Urdu, I couldn't understand you less.

Violet,: Sybil - Sybil darling, why would you want to go to a real school? You're not a doctors daughter!
Lady: Nobody learns anything from a governess, apart from French and how to curtsy!
Violet,: Well, what else do you need?
Lady: Well, there's...
Violet,: Are you thinking of a career in banking?

Lady: I said I could drive the tractor.
Violet,: Edith! You are a *lady*, not Toad of Toad Hall!

Tom: Those places are different for me. I don't look at them and see charm and gracious living - I see something horrible.
Violet: With Drumgold Castle, I rather agree.
Robert: Mama, you are *not* helping.

Evelyn: Is this your first experience of jazz, Lady Crawley?
Violet: Oh, is that what it is?
[pause]
Violet: Do you think that any of them know what the others are playing?

Violet,: I'm tougher than I look.