200 Best Cold Case Quotes

Tom 'Z' Zimmerman : I'm sorry that I got drunk and rode on your bicycle naked, in... in nothing but a Ronald Reagan mask.

Will: On successfully figuring out Vera's ATM card pin: "First try, sucker. Knew it had to be either Flyers or boobies."

Lillian: Oh, this is so lucky. I would think the girls had all been chosen by now.
Irene: I have some pull in that area. After all, I am the Mistress of the Robes.
[Fade-out 1968 / Fade-in 2006]
Scotty: Mistress of the what?
Lillian: The titles are from centuries ago. It means she was in charge.

Lilly: The neighborhood Luke grew up in, he have a tough time making friends 'round here?
Darren: Yeah, but not for the reasons you're thinking. His ability to memorize and apply information, figures, articles... I'd never seen anything like it.
Scotty: Rub his teammates the wrong way, this "ability" of his?
Darren: He was our top debater in two weeks. I thought I was giving him a chance to shine, but maybe I put a target on his back.

Scotty: Who's that charmer?
Lilly: A.D.A Kite, he's above cops.
Scotty: Ain't above checking you out.

Kat: I'm glad I was a single parent in the 90s and not the 60s.

Dylan: I thought I knew how cruel and ugly the world was, but I was WRONG!... They were just... kids, you know?... We all were.

Pops: [shocked] What the hell? That's a guy? That thing is a GUY? You did it with a man, Christopher?
Chris: What?
Pops: With a faggot?
Chris: Don't say that!
Pops: Tell me what you did with that thing! Tell me!
Daniela: Tell him, Chris!
Pops: Tell me!
Chris: I... I didn't do nothin'... I didn't do anything with him.
Pops: [Grabs Chris' arm] come on, let's go home.
[glares at Daniela]
Pops: You stay away from us!
Daniela: [devastated] Wait!
[throws Chris' rose corsage on the ground in despair]
Daniela: Take your trash outta here!
[Chris picks it up carefully and holds onto it]
Pops: Get moving, Chris!
[Pops and Chris leave Daniela alone and head to the high school prom]

Ryan: And you know what, I want you to drop my dad's case.
Lilly: When I'm so close to the truth? Not a chance.

Lucas: Dude, is that blood?... Hey man, you're gettin' it all over my dad's special leather seat!
James: Lucas... I think we killed someone.

Cindy: You'll be in good hands here, better off without me.
[places necklace around her daughter's neck]
Cindy: It'll keep you safe and whenever it seems Mommy's far, far away all you have to do is close your eyes and I'll be here with you.
Maura: Forever?
Cindy: And ever. Bye bye, baby.

Lenny: I know the little turd's here somewhere!

Dr. McKenzie: My dad used to be a cop. Back then, people respected their service. They didn't sweat the small stuff.
Nick: I wish.
Dr. McKenzie: He used to bring home cartons of cigarettes, fruit, toys for us. All of it fell off a truck.
Nick: Sounds pretty sweet.
Dr. McKenzie: [chuckles] Not like today, huh, where everybody's up in your business about everything?
[Dr. McKenzie stamps his paperwork and gives it to Nick]
Dr. McKenzie: Fit as a fiddle. You got your hearing, you got your vision, and you got your looks.
Nick: I can see why you're so popular around the station.
Dr. McKenzie: Just promise me you'll eat an apple once in a while, all right?
Nick: Scout's honor.

Lilly: So you think this Joe character killed Rainey, because... he was a loser?
Will: [Becca nods affirmatively] You got to do better than that, Becca.
Becca: A few months after Rainey died, Joe was expelled from school.
Lilly: For what?
Becca: For making drugs in the chemlab.
Will: Drugs? What kind?
Becca: Rumor was... Liquid-X.

Will: [seeing Nick's medical sheet] . Oh. Told me he passed his physical.
Kat: Dude's a time bomb.
Will: [seeing Nick's shattered wedding photo] It's worse than I thought.
Kat: What was her name again?
Will: Julie. Split up years ago.
Kat: Booze and pills definitely do not mix with photos of the ex.

Arthur: I quit Valentine's the week before. Got tired of cleaning up after white folk. Getting treated like dirt.
Will: Bingo treat you that way too?
Arthur: He treated me with respect. Kid was way ahead of his time in more ways than one.

Brian: I don't... I don't... work... how men do.
Ellie: Brian, that's not what being a man is! Being a real man is about how much you love, who you are emotionally!

Lilly: It's so much easier to believe monsters do these things. Not men.

Crystal: Maurice was my hope... somebody who'd love me and be sweet, you know?

Henry: What are you looking at?
Lilly: [whispers] A dead man. And get those feet off my table.

Nick: Saying that maybe I'm not 100% totally washed up in the dating world.
Will: Cause a crack ho called you?
Nick: Why you have to say it like that?

Lilly: [after hearing Brandi tell about her parents abusing her] Thank you. I know that was hard.
Brandi: [smiles creepily] No... I've said it a million times in my head.

Isabel: [Looks at Scotty] Your mother will be fine.
[looks at Lilly]
Isabel: You... I'm not so sure.

Tiffany: Do me one favor. Is that bitch Brandi still a bitch?
Scotty: [smiling] Uh...
Tiffany: I knew it. What a bitch.

Tessie: [shocked] You're telling me to...
[whispers]
Tessie: KILL him...?
Maggie: That would be, uh... unethical of me, as a cop... I'm just informing you of your rights.
[walks towards the door, but then points to the post office boxes on the wall]
Maggie: Mail's piling up... might wanna check it.
[Lafferty leaves, and Tessie unlocks her post office box, an expression of disbelief on her face when she finds a yellow envelope with a cop handgun inside]

Lilly: Is there any reason why you're looking back on it now? Today?
John: What am I, one of your suspects?
Lilly: Well, you're avoiding my questions like one. Alright, I can take a hint - be mysterious.

Ariel: [to Lily, sobbing] Do you hate me?
Lilly: It doesn't matter what I think of you. She was just a little kid.
Ariel: But I was just a little kid too. I didn't know.
Lilly: [yells] You didn't know what?
Ariel: I didn't know you'd live through it.

Nick: You want a piece of me?
Scotty: Nah. Just came to see how you were doing.
Nick: Five hours a day I get to talk about my feelings. Can't sleep, 'cause my roommate's up every five minutes washing the germs off his hands, and lecturing me about palm oils in my diet. Highlight of the day is, uh, taking on my fellow detectives in ping-pong, but other than that things are looking up.
Scotty: How's the Jell-O?
Nick: Not bad. Mac and cheese sucks.

Chris: It only happens once. You only get one chance. You don't walk away when it happens.

Maggie: Men: can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em all!

Sharon: Who's the brat?
Hillary: His daughter. Who's the tramp?

Hank: You better find the son of a bitch who did this before I do.

Scotty: What do you got, a dead bride?
Lilly: Debutante. Emma Elizabeth Vine.
Kat: Found at the base of a flight of stairs at the Edgecomb hotel, December, '68.
Scotty: Spinal fracture, cracked skull. That's a bad fall.
Lilly: Or a good shove.
Kat: Cops couldn't get traction on the case.No one would talk.
Scotty: A white glove conspiracy?
Lilly: Society people didn't want a scandal on their hands.Closed ranks.

Tara: What would you do if you found out your husband was a monster?

Scotty: How'd I know I'd be talking to you again, Vince?
Vince: I dunno, woman's intuition.
[Scotty shoves Vince off his chair in the interrogation room]

Marlene: [Having just found Natalie] I thought I might find you here. You have every right to be angry, but I'm doing my best, Natalie.
Natalie: Can't you be real for once, mom?
Marlene: You want to know what's real, Nat? I never thought I'd be a widow. I never thought I'd lose our home. Your dad always took care of everything, all I had to do was love you and your sister.
Natalie: Maybe it's not enough, mom... Love.
Marlene: It's all I've got.
[Crying, desperate]
Marlene: ... how could he die on me?
Natalie: We still got each other, mom. Bradford girls, remember? We stay together.

Monty: You wanna watch me kill myself?
Scotty: No joke, Monty, I wanna see. That last step off a the bridge, knowing you won't be in this world any more.
Monty: Why?
Scotty: Cause the ones you leave behind - there are so many questions . If I watch you, maybe I'll be able to help your people.

Becca: [to Lilly] This is a special night for me; my 10 year high school reunion. Can you *stupid* investigation wait until tomorrow.

Lilly: Get up, Finn Cooper...
[tosses him his fake ID]
Lilly: ... unless you want me to give this to your dad.
Finn: You mean, *our* dad?

John: Do the Funky Chicken, damn you!

[Jakob Beachy asks after his family, but Mrs. Gunden refuses to acknowledge him]
Anna: Mom, he's talking to you.
Miriam: [speaking only to Anna] Jakob Beachy is in Bann. We are forbidden to talk to him!

Frankie: The saddest lies are those we tell ourselves.

Buck Lowman (05): I robbed that store so I could give her betting money.
Scotty: Did you tell her where you got it?
Buck Lowman (05): No, I wanted to impress her. Not make her think I was scum.

Ric: 1200-pound horse fell on top o' me, shattered me pelvis in '92! If you've got somethin' to say, say it!
Nick: ...I hope the HORSE was okay.

Kat: [about Spencer] How do you find a guy that changes his name more often than his underwear.

Ariel Shuman 1990: [as Rita and Ariel are walking home] My life is over.
Rita: We'll be home soon.
Ariel Shuman 1990: I don't want to go home.
Rita: So what if she thinks we're losers? We'll be losers through junior high. I don't care. My mom says everybody who's ever been anything in the world was a loser.
Ariel Shuman 1990: I care. Just because you don't, why do I have to suffer?
Rita: In six years, we'll be in college and my mom said we'll be cool. I can't wait for college.
Ariel Shuman 1990: My God. Brandi's gonna hate me for six years.
Rita: So what if those idiot girls don't like you? That's not what matters in this world. It's better to be smart and different like us.
Ariel Shuman 1990: No. I don't want to be like us.
Rita: But, Ariel, in college, we'll be considered cool and maybe before that, we could be best friends to each other if you want.
Ariel Shuman 1990: No!
[shoves Rita, who falls down the ravine and hits her head on a rock, killing her]

Tom: Do you think someone who had a nervous breakdown after four months at Fort Hood could survive five years in the Hanoi Hilton?

Detective: It was a typical job during the crack era. Guy comes around looking for some company, ends up robbed and killed by the girl.
Lilly: Why'd you think it was a hooker?
Detective: Ever been to Kensington Avenue darling? It's hookerland.
Lilly: Yeah? I grew up in Kensington.
Detective: So what was he doin' there? Seein' the sights?

Will: Bury a witness report. What kind of cop does that?
Deputy: He's my son. I was trying to protect him.

Vince: If there *is* a God, he took off work the day I was born.

Scotty: The cops beat you up for no reason?
George: The reason, young man, was hatred.

Kat: It's a purity ring. Carrie's ring.
Lilly: Purity ring? Like?
Kat: Like, "until I'm married, this finger belongs to God. And so does my virginity." Veronica's babysitter has one. Couldn't stop her from getting *busy* on my couch though.

Scotty: [on Lily working Cold Cases vs Active murder cases] You don't want to be where the action is?
Lilly: I don't want to see bastards get away with murder.

Lillian: A young lady must learn how to walk gracefully in heels.
Emma: Okay, okay.
Lillian: Do you have your pocketbook and gloves?
Emma: I'm not going to wear the gloves.
Lillian: Emma
Emma: I don't want to cover up your ring.
Lillian: Isn't this exciting
Emma: Sure
Lillian: Just think, You'll walk through that arch and everyone will clap when they announce your name.
Emma: But it's not for doing anything. It's just for being a girl and wearing a dress.
Lillian: Emma, we've talked about this.What being part of this society will mean for you, for your future. You may not appreciate it now, but you've made me very proud.
Emma: I want to make you proud by doing things.
Lillian: You will. You'll do things I've never dreamed of.
Emma: Like go to the moon.
Lillian: Emma, you are such a modern woman.
Lillian: Thank you.
Emma: Now, how about if I apply just the teeniest bit of mascara?
Lillian: Mother
M.C. : Introducing Miss Claire Brixton Henley.

Will: [about taxi dancing] Men would pay the amount the dance would last; like a taxi ride.
Kat: Yeah, the G-rated version of a lap dance.

Jimmy: I heard everything, I saw EVERYTHING! She said NO!
Mike: [laughing coldly] They all say that, but they don't really mean it... you'll see one day!

Natalie: Like I said, I don't have a mother. She jumped ship way back.
Will: We found her this morning, at the bottom of fairmount lake.
Kat: She's been shot, Natalie.

John: You two believe in Martians?
Lilly: Is this the woman who disappeared in the 30s?
John: Audrey W. Metz. It was the end of the world!
Lilly: My grandmother was 8. Said she had nightmares for over a year.
Scotty: What the hell are you guys talking about?

Tiffany: It'd suck to have red hair!

Beth: [At a party celebrating Bill Clinton's election] Does it bother you that he's such a womanizer?
Vanessa: He's not going to do that in the White House.

Roger: Look, detective, I regret I couldn't help him more than I did, but a fool and his money are easily parted.

Jason: How many people did my daughter have over tonight, Rita?
[to Brandi]
Jason: Wall.
[Brandi faces the wall]
Jason: How many girls were here?
Rita: Um... just one. Just me.
Jason: So you're a liar too, Rita. Brandi, you wanna tell your friend what we do to liars in this house?
[Brandi turns around and stares at Rita apologetically]

Bobbi: I knew when I opened that package he couldn't have paid for those boots. But I wanted them so much I always regretted that.
Lilly: It wouldn't have mattered. Hank would have never have let you give those boots back.
Bobbi: How do you know?
Lilly: Because I knew someone just like him. Once.

Ariel: [about Brandi and Tiffany] I was JV, those two were Varsity Bitches.

Stella: I had a chance to stop it.
Nick: Stop what...?
Stella: Molly tried to talk to me about Iris, but I was so caught up in that stupid dance with Roger, I didn't even see it.

Lilly: [During a phone call, George asks why Lily has photos of the cold case victim next to her bed] Have you been in my house, George?

Maggie: [to Detective Rush] I'm sayin' I don't remember squat... so don't hold your breath, Goldilocks.

Steven: I loved Lindsay
Lilly: Nothin' says that sweeter than banging her friend

Nick: [to Jerry] You're a Grade-D slice of jackass, Jer. Better hope your alibi checks out.

Molly: I hear him in the nursery at night talking to himself.
Stella: [confused] ... What do you mean, talking to himself?
Molly: [close to tears] ... Stop that... don't hurt her...
[her voice choking with sobs]
Molly: don't hurt the baby... what am I gonna do, Stell?
Stella: ...Roger loves Iris, he'd never lay a hand on her!

Scotty: [about Mitch Hathaway, who is killing pedophiles] Why are we going after this guy again? He's performing a public service.

Lilly: [on Vivian's murder case, who was an abused child] . The one you hate the most to catch but the worth the most to close.

Cop: Detective Stillman's the one who caught the man who hurt you.
John Stillman '80: You're a very brave girl, Lilly Rush.
Lilly: You caught him? My mother said it was too late.
John Stillman '80: As long as you ask the right questions, it's NEVER too late.

Lilly: [showing Patrick Bubley the shelf with his brothers' case files on it] The road you're going down, Patrick, leads right here. There's a spot open. Next to your brothers.
Patrick: Maybe that's just how it goes...

Nick: What's wrong with my car?
Will: Nothing if you like being single.

Travis: You happy with yourself, Detective? Thought you should know.
Nick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it, buddy, okay?
Travis: I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen! My brother's gone, and that's on you.
Nick: Know what, jackass? I told you to hit the bricks!
Travis: You're nothing but a drunk bum.

Lilly: Booms would eat his own *children* to hold on to his seat.

Lilly: Suddenly, everything precious in life became crystal clear.
John: Yeah, who do you want to be with when the world ends?
Nick: I want to be with the guy that knows it's a hoax.

Missy: [referring to her mother's creepy boyfriend] Maybe you're not picky enough, Mum.

Lilly: [about the jockeys] they all had one thing in common.
Scotty: compulsive gambling?
Lilly: ...They were all dreamers. Hoping tomorrow was better than today.

Ed: [on giving Shelly the remainder of his lotto winnings] I gave it to someone who *deserved* it. The only one who never asked me for it.

Julia: If you find Priscilla, please tell her she can come home... no strings attached, this time.

Luke: Alyssa, you sure talk fast.
Alyssa: You know what they say... speed kills.
Luke: Speed and evidence, right?

Will: Can you think about anyone who would want to hurt your daughter?
Archie: I got to admit, Sam didn't have a lot of friends.

Joseph: Does it... feel like we've met before or something?

Irene: There's something I've been meaning to ask you. Our debutante season starts soon. How would you like Emma to make her debut?
Lillian: Irene, we're just The wife and daughter of an astronaut
Irene: It would be an honor for us.
Emma: What would I have to do?
Landon: You go to parties all season. And you bow to your father in a gorgeous white dress when you're presented at the ball. It's very prestigious. And you'll meet everyone.

Ramon: When was the last time you had a cheese steak?

Nick: I would NEVER call a woman a ho. All I'm saying is, sometimes women say no, but they really mean 'maybe'... what's a guy to do? Just walk off at the first no? The human race would go extinct.
Kat: [disgusted] No means NO! How many ways you need that spelled out?
Nick: The name of the game is pursuit. You run, I chase!
Kat: You ain't chasin' me anywhere.

Lilly: People shouldn't be forgotten. They matter. They should get justice, too.

Lilly: You want to look for Tinkerbell?
Nick: In Never Never Land?
Lilly: Or gay bars.
Nick: You sure that's the best job for me?
Lilly: Definitely

Nora: Mom, leave her alone.
Della: The girl needs help.
Nora: Daddy?
Derek: Don't look at me. I got a daughter who majors in business, a wife who majors in other people's business. Me, I'm just a restaurant owner.

Will: Early 50s, white kid singing black music... reminds me of Elvis.
John: I hate to admit it. I broke up with my junior high sweetheart because she joined the Elvis fan club.
Will: No.
John: Trini Rene. Back in the late 50s, the girls were either Elvis girls...
Will: Or Pat Boone girls, I remember.
John: I told Trini my family wouldn't approve of me going out with an Elvis girl.
[both chuckles]
John: I guess I was a square.
Will: No, man, you were a CUBE.
[more chuckling]

Will: [drops a photograph of a smiling businessman on the table] Marten Jacobson. He left a wife, and a four-year-old boy...
John: Beaten... to death.
[Cole looks away guiltily]
Will: Look at him... LOOK at him!
[pulls Cole down to stare at Jacobson's photograph]

[while playing 'no drugs today']
Junkie: We gotta make a livin' same as you!
Will: That's what I'm countin' on.

Greg: Now if someone did something awful to Timmy that night, it wasn't her. Do you understand? It wasn't her.

Donalyn: [rapping] You got a mouthful a' rubbish, someone take out the trash, here's a penny for my thoughts cuz' you could probably use the cash, you're a rough gangster playa but you make a straight fool, word on the street is you got a little issue!
[Zeb's 'little issue' is a drug addiction. The other teen rappers on the street all start laughing and making noises at him while Donalyn laughs at him]
Zeb: This is my street, bitch. 26ers, we NEVER forget. I see you again, I'm gonna earn my bones.

Scotty: Here's what I was thinking, a baseball league for cops!

Jim: Are you sure you're a fag?
Daniel: Are you sure you're Italian?

Scotty: Did you kill him? I mean, that would solve our case.

Scotty: [to Joe when he's arresting him] See if we can find you a great, big cellmate to do the locomotion with.

Tiffany: [referring to Brandi] You know things are bad when the biggest bitch in school looks like she's gonna piss in her Calvin's.

Ramon: What, you don't like all this?... You don't like me?
Martha: ...I don't like ME.

Eric: Look, Gonz was real lonely. Marisol helped relieve him of some of his loneliness on a nightly basis.

Nick: [the detectives are eating Chinese food on their lunch break] You're reachin', Lil.
[Vera grabs a box of food from the nearby desk]
Kat: [angrily] And you're reachin' for MY Kung Pow chicken!
Nick: [With a mouthful of food] ... It's family style, so what?
Kat: Well do I LOOK like your family?
[snatches back her box of food before Vera can get another bite]

Roy: [after Lilly and Scotty find out he killed Holly] Don't look at me like I'm a monster! Holly shares some of the blame in the
Lilly: Oh really? What did Holly do?
Roy: She made me love her.

Scotty: Did your dad follow up with this guy?
Daniel: Not that I heard about.
Nick: If I spent five years in a box getting tortured while some guy is taking my wife to dinner...
Scotty: I'd follow up.

Lilly: Lillian said Emma was wearing a ring that night. A gold swan with a diamond eye. But it was missing from the body.
Scotty: A lot of people could have taken it. Hotel staff that found the body, paramedics
Lilly: They put out feelers to pawnshops at the time, seeing if someone tried to move it. Came up empty.
Kat: Maybe they waited until the heat died down? I'll check sale records.

J.T. Simms: [sees Lilly for the first time] Check out "Homicide Barbie".

Will: Who's Fanny?
Lilly: One of the factory girls.
Nick: Do you think she shot her husband?
Lilly: We better find out...
Will: I'm going with you. I'd LOVE to meet an 80-year-old who shot a guy...

Moe: The value, of a separate education, is that it is SEPARATE!

Timmy: What's that? Assault with a deadly egg roll?

[repeated line]
Simone: Not in the woods, not in the woods

James: You screw up, you MAN UP! Sorry, Mister Lennox, but you can take your offer, and shove it!
[walks away to go tell the cops about Jacobson]
Arthur: [Mister Lennox grabs a rusty pipe, and Tanner watches in horror as he begins to beat James with it] DIE, DIE, DIE, DIE!
[James goes unconscious and the scene fades out]

Danny: [Danny was in the water and was asking for Chuck's help] I won't tell them you were scared, Chuck!
Chuck: [picking up a stick] You think I'm scared?
[as Danny watches in amazement, Chuck hits him in the head with the stick and instantly kills him, then watches how Danny's body floats to the waterfall]

[Nick, Scotty and Will are relaxing on lawn chairs in front of a burn barrel to keep the junkies and prostitutes away]
Nick: You know what we need? Some marshmallows!
Scotty: We need a bigger fire, I'm freezin' my nuts off!

Simms: [about Lily] Check out Homicide Barbie.

Kat: Let me guess! Roy still plans on leaving his wife.
Shelly: We're in love.
Kat: You keep drinking that cool aid honey.

Kat: Get me home before I PUKE all over your car.

Lilly: I'm never going to be like you.
George: [Last lines] Wanna Bet?
[gunfire breaks out and George falls dead]

Leader: Holy Moldy!
Kid: What is that?... Ewww, don't touch it!
Leader: [Young Will Jeffries, the leader of the group of kids, gazes down in horror at a mutilated body ditched on the playground] ... It's a kid...
Kid: I said don't touch it, Willy! Those cops'll throw you in the slammer!
Leader: [Will sadly gazes at the dead kid and picks up a piece of paper lying on the ground nearby] What?
[the paper has a weird bunch of letters and numbers written on it]

Tom: I have a daughter that majors in business and a wife that majors in other people's business. I just run a restaurant.

[as Holly Beaudry is running a bathtub in the washroom]
Brandi: Mom. I told them all to go home.
Holly: It's too late, Brandi. You lied.
Neil: Dad, it's not her fault. I was in charge. Dad, no. No, no.
Holly: Neil, honey, please. This is important.
Neil: [Neil reluctantly dunks Brandi's head in the bathtub and holds her underwater for a while] Dad, Dad!
Jason: Hold...
[Brandi starts drowning in the bathwater]
Jason: Done.
Holly: [dries up the spilled water and notices Rita has stayed behind and witnessed the parents abusing Neil and Brandi]

Roger: [about being a POW] It made me realize any day I wake up with the doorknob on the inside of the door, it's a good day.

Scotty: Well, I'm Audi!
Kat: Audi? What, are you 16?
Scotty: Sorry granny! I must depart.

Kat: [referring to Ramon's love for Martha] Maybe he had some kind of fetish!
[Scotty shoots her an awkward look]
Kat: ... You know... she's a specific kind of woman...

Owen: You a lesbian?
Kat: You a jackass?

Lilly: You'll have to come stay with me.
Ellen: I thought you were getting too old for this.
Lilly: I said that when I still had a choice.

Scotty: Aw man, I wanna be there for that interview!

Iris: Vivian had a habit of rubbing people the wrong way. I hate to say it, but "Miss H.P." Only cared about one person - herself.

Will: [talking about the day President Kennedy was assassinated] I was playing touch football at recess.
Scotty: Recess? I thought you were, like, forty-five when that happened.
Lilly: No, you're thinking of when Lincoln was shot.
Will: Keep it up. See what happens.

John: Where you gonna start?
Lilly: Crime scene.
Scotty: Queen Village.
Lilly: Some reason he thinks that's funny.

Kat: [about the police department's softball team] Sounds good. Sign me up.
Nick: Can you catch?
Kat: Hell, yeah! I can catch.
Nick: Do you throw like a girl?
Kat: Do you dance like a white guy?

Lilly: [Lilly holds her one-eyed cat up] I thought you liked cats!
ADA: Cats, not mutants!

Brandi: [the girls are watching The Breakfast Club in Brandi's living room] I don't know why Sporto likes the ugly girl. Claire's much prettier.

Store: It's been 27 years since this holistic health store was Valentine's Five and Dime.
Nick: So?
Store: Kinda out of the realm of possibility that you'll find some 50-year-old bullet.
Nick: Could have got lodged in a wall or a floorboard.
Store: So what? You think you're digging up my floors or walls?
Nick: It's not out of the realm of possibility.
Store: These are fresh walls. I just had them painted. And my floors are Malaysian bamboo. So maybe you should... look somewhere else for your phantom bullet.
Nick: Did you find anything during that remodel?
Store: Like a bullet? Uh... no.
Nick: Cause if I find out you tampered with evidence, I'll stick you in the slammer with guys who ain't familiar with Buddhist teachings.
Store: You do, and karma will be all over your ass, pal.
Nick: Oh, I'll be all over your ass, pal... with a warrant.
Store: [offers Vera] Goji berry? They make you happy. Eat enough, you never stop smiling.
[takes one himself and smiles at Vera]

Roger: ...She's not going to the hospital.

John: Vine is here about Travis Whitman, the art dealer.
Lilly: His wife died last month. Fell down the stairs at their home.
John: Well, that's his story, at least. But now he's been charged with her murder.
Lilly: Really?
John: Lillian thinks he could be responsible for another death.
Lilly: Whose?
Lillian: My daughter's in 1968.They were both 18.
Lilly: What happened?
Lillian: Travis escorted Emma to her debutante ball. She died that night. From a fall down the stairs.
Lilly: That doesn't happen twice in a lifetime.
Lillian: It's the same death.
John: Emma's case was put on a shelf pretty quick after it came in.
Lilly: Was it ruled an accident?
John: No, it was handled as an S job, suspicious death. It meant no one looked at it too closely in '68.
Lilly: Well, it's 2006 now, and we like to look.

Lilly: You're a good cop, Nick... but you need help.
[Nick Vera stares blankly out the windshield of the car while Lily has tears in her eyes]

Scotty: Partners, right?
Lilly: Partners.

Artie: Joan Collins is *not* a man in drag.
Jeff: I do not!
Artie: What don't you believe?
Jeff: I don't believe pop rock and coke makes your stomach explode. I don't believe Rock Hudson has liver cancer.
Artie: Face it honey, you're gullible *and* a conspiracy nut!
Jeff: Sticks and stones!
Artie: Who killed Kennedy?
Jeff: Lyndon Johnson and Fidel Castro. Oh, and Joan Collins. *He* was the ringleader.

Chris: The Empire State Building!
Daniela: ...What?
Chris: It was on your wall, that photo, and the Eiffel Tower, and the Leaning Tower of whatchamacallit...
Daniela: Pisa.
Chris: Yeah, that... I'm gonna see those places someday.
Daniela: Uh, okay, good for you.
Chris: ...So are you! That's why you put 'em up on your wall.
Daniela: ...Yeah, so?
Chris: I'm real sorry 'bout last night, really.
Daniela: ...Okay.
Chris: ...Look, New York is only a few hours away and maybe if you're not busy, sometime I could take you to see the Eiffel tower!
Daniela: You mean the Empire State Building.
Chris: Yeah... so, what do you say?
Daniela: [smiles slightly] ... Alright.
Chris: [cheerful] Okay!

Lilly: She miscarried in September of '85 and gave birth in October of '86. She had to have gotten pregnant again fast.
Nick: According to the way Silver described her, that would have taken all of an hour.

Lilly: So you ever see Cindy again?
Nancy: [shaking her head] Usually don't after a woman goes back to her husband. Unless I pay a visit to the local cemetery.

Will: Think of anything else...
Stan: I'm thinking only one thing. Find the son of a bitch who did this.

Ariel Shuman 1990: Rita thinks the nerd is cute.
Rita: No, I don't.
Tiffany: Give me your glasses.
Rita: Why?
Tiffany: Cause I wanna see them.
[puts the glasses on]
Tiffany: Eww, you're blind. You have weird eyes in real life. No offense.
Rita: Give them back to me!

Mrs. Valentine '53: [sniffling] If only I had gone to college, I could've done something with my life. I dropped out for him. To start a family. A home.
Bingo: Well, maybe it isn't too late.
Mrs. Valentine '53: It is for me. But I was good at it. I love it, you know.
Bingo: Nobody should keep you from doing what you love.

Sean: I'll pick you up some beer and meet you after.
Jimmy: I can't make it tonight.
Sean: Why not?
Jimmy: Maybe it's time for a change.
Sean: What kind of change?
Jimmy: I wasn't thinking right when we talked. But I haven't been right for a long time.
Sean: What's going on Jimmy?
Jimmy: I'm not going to be making it over to your place no more. Just get a new partner.
Sean: You afraid?
Jimmy: It's got nothing to do with that.
Sean: I'm afraid too.
Jimmy: Look, I gotta get going.
[turns away]
Sean: Jimmy, don't go, please.
[sighing]
Sean: We're the lucky ones, remember?
Jimmy: I think you got it wrong there. I ain't a queer.

George: I told you one day we would hunt together.

Nick: [Will and Nick arrive at a prostitute nest where a possible witness to the case might be] My snitch swears he saw Bigfoot here a couple hours ago.
Will: [grudgingly] Snitch is a money-grubbin' pain-in-the-ass...
Nick: YO! You see a six-foot-five homeless guy here, mamma-citas?
[the prostitutes give the detectives a wary look]
Nick: Why, I could just take you in for loitering!
Will: Been to every shelter and soup kitchen in the city. You're not gonna find him.
Nick: [nonchalant] Well, I guess it's time to shut down Hooker-Mart.
[Nick sits on top of the metal garbage can where the prostitutes go to the bathroom]
Nick: No peeing or play, 'till you give me Sasquatch, ladies!
Will: Ha-ha-ha! It's a fool there! They're not gonna talk to you!
Nick: [takes a dollar bill from his pocket] You fly...
[gives the bill to Will]
Nick: ... I'll buy! Gimmee a couple cold ones!
Hooker: [a prostitute with red hair snatches the bill before Will can grab it] You wanna find someone?... All you had to do was ask the right way... big boy...

Ben: [in flashback] Aw crap, critter's got family!
Lilly: Should I... notify 'em?
Ben: Yeah, go on.
Lilly: Well, I... I've just never done it before...
Ben: This is the perfect opportunity then, because this here ain't nothing but an NHI.
Lilly: [Lilly speaks in a shocked voice] No humans involved?
Ben: Yup!
Lilly: I don't really believe in that...
Ben: Stick around long enough and your bleeding heart will run dry real soon!

James: Hey, is that my phone?
Cole: It's your dad. Told him you peed your pants. 8 calls in one day? Talk about your electronic umbilical cord!

Fritz: [to Andi] You know, when people go away to college, they bring their stereo *not* their dad.

Sean: Solve my mom's murder or don't! I don't give a flying middle finger.

Lawrence: Frances, this should be the happiest day of your life! I mean, I am quite a catch, as they say.

Rainey: [to Becca] Every girl wants to *be* you because every guy wants to *bang* you. Good luck hanging on to that for the next 40 years because that's all you have.

Nick: A triple murder gets you a date with the needle real quick.

John: Hey, Nick.
Nick: Yeah?
John: Still need that paperwork from you.
Nick: Doctor was sick, can you believe it? Got another appointment tomorrow.
John: End of the week.
Nick: Yeah.
Lilly: Someone's afraid of needles.

Becca: [after admitting to causing Rainey's death] I showed that twit who was boss! *Me*! Now if you'll excuse me, Imhave a full evening to attend to.
Lilly: Don't move a muscle *bitch*!

Cindy: It's a perfect day - but now we should think about heading back.
Vivian: But I don't want to go home.
Cindy: It's getting late, Vivian.
Vivian: Why can't we just stay here forever?
Cindy: Okay, close your eyes. Come on. Listen really, really hard. Do you hear the ocean? Now look but don't open your eyes. Can you see it? It'll always be here for you. No one can ever take it away. It will always be right in here.
[taps on Vivian's head]
Cindy: Forever. Our perfect day.
Vivian: Forever?
Cindy: And ever.

Lilly: Don't you know by now that you ruin everything you touch?

George: [Bellowing] I AM GOD IN THESE WOODS
Lilly: No you're not... George you're a scared little boy... whose mother didn't love him

Kelly: [When Rita's mom is dropping her off at school] Hey, there's Ariel.
Rita: Mom, we're not friends anymore.
Kelly: Why not?
Rita: She's friends with Brandi now. Brandi doesn't like me.
Kelly: Well, then Brandi's an idiot.
Rita: Brandi's mean. She always says, "What are you looking at?" At one time, she took my jacket and said it was from the Sears and gave it to the janitor, but I took it back.
Kelly: Rita, listen to me. Everyone who's ever been anything in the history of time has been a loser in junior high. In six years from now, you're gonna be in college and you are gonna be the coolest girl around because you're smart and you're different and you're wacky. And that's what's important in this world, not what those idiot girls think of you.

Devon: [while stroking Iris' wet hair] What if she needs baptism?
Roger: [laughing] Naw, I think she's fine, buddy.
Devon: ...But, Daddy... she's not breathing...

Lilly: Somewhere girls could communicate in private... a bathroom stall?
Will: [chuckles] Old-school chatroom, for men AND women.

Scotty: I have your back, man.
Michael: You said the same thing to Alex, and look what happened to him.

Cameron: [recording two girls with a camera] oh yo what's up mama cita's?
Neal: oh swing.
Cameron: [laughing taking the camera from Neal] Stop being a reject, give me that.
Cameron: [recording himself] You're about to enter another dimension.
Cameron: [Recording himself] This dimension not only sight and sound.
Neal: [putting his arm around Cameron] with tweakers, preps, horny housewives, and morons galore.
Cameron: [Recording himself] It is the ninth circle of hell, the sweating armpits of suburbia, you've just crossed over into,
[both reciting]
Cameron: the mall.
Cameron: [recording girl] Woah, woah, woah, woah.
Cameron: [recording all around them] You shop till you drop.
Neal: [to Cameron] Right on.
Cameron: [coming across a man and his daughter] uh oh.
Cameron: [closing in on them] gasps.
Cameron: [recites a phrase] Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tiger by it's toe, if he hollers let him go, Eeny, meeny, miny,
[Closes in on a jock]
Cameron: Moe!
Neal: [Talking to Cameron] Looks like its home slices lucky day.
Cameron: ah, dope.
Cameron: [unzipping his backpack] A regular Saturday afternoon in America's town square.
Neal: [to Cameron] Not.
[Cameron pulls out a gun]

Scotty: We need to find your son, Ms. Castillo.
Esther: Why?
Lilly: We think he was involved with this girl. Do you recognize her?
[passes Ms. Castillo a Polaroid of Daniela and Ms. Castillo blinks back tears and falls silent]
Scotty: Ms. Castillo, you know this girl?
Esther: Girl?... That's my son, that's Edwin.

Scotty: You like playing god, Larry?
Larry: No. But you know what I do like? Dignity. I've seen men scream when they lose it, seen women beg to die with it while they still can.
Scotty: But two of the six people you killed were in a coma. They weren't begging for anything.
Larry: Their brains were cabbage. No chance of recovery.

Lilly: Even if that person killed an 8-year-old boy?
Father: ...Even if.

Rainey: [to Becca] Every girl wants to *be* you because every guy wants to *bang* you. Good luck holding on to *that* for the next 40 years. I want more.

Chris: New York's only a few hours away, so if you're not busy, maybe sometime, I mean only if you want to, we can... go see the Eiffel Tower or something.

Todd: What is the point of all of this, after so many years?
Lilly: People shouldn't be forgotten. They matter.
Todd: You're a crusader.
Lilly: I guess I am.

Will: [entering Nick's apartment] Key still works.
Kat: [seeing the clutter] Whoa. Clearly, the maid don't.
Will: God, just when you think you know the guy.
Kat: Oscar needs a Felix.

[to Lilly]
Tom: Why do women always have "high hopes" for men who want to kill them?

Lester: [laughs] I've seen that fear all my life! People used to pile into the 10-N-1, looking at me... pointing, laughing... they thought I was on exhibit... but I was studying them.

Robert: I knew this would come back to haunt me one day, I just knew it.
Scotty: Yeah, well... Boo!

Lilly: When someone gets the bright idea of using a dead man's credit card...
Scotty: Hope whatever they bought was worth it.

Will: [referring to the derby lot's mass horse grave] I understand you buried a few of your horses.
Randall: Well, sometimes horses need to be put down.
Nick: [Accusingly] And how about jockeys?

Dr. Andiman: [looking at Nick's chart] Now, says here you have only four drinks a week? Is that true?
Nick: Give or take.
Dr. Andiman: Ever have hepatitis?
Nick: The hell you talking about?
[Dr. Andiman looks up at him]
Nick: No.
Dr. Andiman: Nick, you have any idea what liver failure looks like? It isn't pretty.
Nick: I'll take your word for it.
Dr. Andiman: You need to stop drinking. You need to start eating right, too. Exercising more.
Nick: Been hearing that for years.
Dr. Andiman: Yeah, well, it's catching up to you. You ever hear of good cholesterol?
Nick: Yeah.
Dr. Andiman: You got none of that. Bad cholesterol, you got lots. Your long-term outlook is not good.
Nick: Well, I can still bench 250 and chase down a bad guy. You put that in there?
Dr. Andiman: Nick, this isn't a joke. You need to make lifestyle changes... today.
Nick: Are sending that to the department?
Dr. Andiman: Soon as you sign this release.

Lilly: Her best friend was Celeste Church.
Kat: If anyone knew who Rainey was partying with that night, homegirl would.

Lilly: From 1983.
Nick: An '83 case can wait. Come on, Lilly.
Lilly: No, it can't. It's waited long enough.

Scott: [about Amy] Did she have any enemies? Yeah! They were called *employees*.

Cindy: [about her abusive husband] And you tell yourself that it was just a shove really. He didn't mean it, he loves me, so you stay.
Nancy: We all stayed.
Cindy: Until one day you realize the door you could've walked out a long time ago is nailed shut forever.

Roger: He was just a little boy... don't put him in jail, please!

Sean: Where's Latrell? I can't wait to ID his worthless ass, ha-ha!
Scotty: Not just yet, Sean.

Nick: [while sitting in a car spying] Stakeout, she says! Plant an obit, she says! Damned half my life I won't ever get back.
Kat: Because I'm so stimulated sittin' next to you?... What in the hell is the 'sawbuck switch'?

Scotty: We gotta talk about Daniela, John, and what you got off of her.
John: She was a talented girl.
Scotty: Except, she was a *guy*
John: Yeah! And I'm the Queen of England.
Nick: Well, Your Highness!
[shows her a picture of Edwin]
Nick: Meet Edwin.
Scotty: AKA Daniela.
John: That's impossible.
Nick: Kinda explains the "talent" she had in your joystick.

Gonzalo: Hello America, thank you, and I want to play baseball.

Tiffany: [to Rita] You have a fat back like your mom. She's really ugly, no offense.
Rita: [annoyed] I don't wanna do this anymore.
Brandi: Tiffany, way to go. Now she's pissed.
Tiffany: So? Did you know there's a rumor that your mom's a slut? Everybody's saying it.

Schmitty: [asked about Nick] Big guy with a voice. Right?
Lilly: What kind of condition was he in?
Schmitty: Whoa. Just so you know, I didn't serve him more than three. Guy tops it off in the parking lot, that's on him.

Priest: You a lesbian?
Nick: You a jackass?

Hillary: [about Sharon] she was a poor man's Marilyn Monroe; mole and all.

Kate: We might not be fighting the American Revolution like he was, but we're still fighting. Fighting for the strength to keep at it, for the respect of our company... and for the pride of our families.
[Kate stares at her father]
Kate: ...I hope to earn them all someday.

Nick: I fought with my sister every time. I tried to change the channel from "The Hardy Boys", she'd shriek like a banshee.

Scotty: I understand how you feel.
Mitch: No you don't! I lost everything!
Scotty: I know, but you've got to stop what you're doing.
Mitch: Too late. I already took out the trash today.

Hugh: ...All she really needed was a friend.

Lilly: [about the computer] Hey, boss, do you want me to do it?
Tom: That's okay, I have to learn how to use this thing sometime... Is it on?

Security: Come on with me, son.
Ronnie: Oh no. Black man on campus. Got to get the cuffs.

Scotty: Did you ever actually see him or his pals hit the boy?
Sean: If I would've seen something, I would've intervened. I'd have kicked those... African-American young gentleman's asses.

Lilly: Our coldest job yet.
Nick: A record breaker.
Kat: So... What are we waiting for?
Lilly: Let's break out the ice picks.