The Best Derek Quotes

[Brandon tells Travis and Madison the story of Chris crashing]
Brandon: We didn't get far. After we left. Wasted. Banditos on the highway... it was all one step forward, two steps back. We were on no sleep. Me and Derek doing the driving. We could barely keep our eyes open. Chris... he volunteered, man. Okay, look, we didn't ask. He offered.
Derek: Yeah, he wanted to contribute.
Madison: What happened next?
Brandon: It went sideways, man. He must've dozed off. I'm sorry. The next thing you know... we started rolling. The truck must've rolled a half a dozen times. Chris went through the windshield. He was dead when we found him.
Travis: Was he?
Brandon: What?
Travis: Was he dead when you found him?
Brandon: Yeah. Yeah, man, he was. I'm sorry, Travis. His neck was sort of jacked, you know? Like he broke it going through the glass.

[Brandon makes a racial joke to Derek about the wounded Mexicans around them]
Brandon: Oh. What's that smell?
Derek: Dude, don't say it.
Brandon: Wait, don't say what?
Derek: [Derek laughs] Don't say it.
Brandon: What, that it smells like 'Mexcrement'?
[as Derek laughs]

[Brandon tells Travis that it's moving day for them to leave the barn]
Derek: It's moving day, is what's going on.
Travis: Why?
Derek: We're all out of chickens.
Travis: We should have been eating the eggs. I told you that.
Brandon: I'm gonna be honest with you, teach, your schoolmarm shit's getting old.

[Derek and Brandon attend to Baby James' gunshot wound]
Derek: You okay, bro?
Brandon: My man can take the pain.
James: What pain?
Brandon: [Brandon chuckles] Exactly.

[Brandon asks Baby James if he found any marijuana at the farm]
Brandon: Baby James, tell me they got weed growing in those fields.
James: There is a hand pump out back. It's well water, though.
Derek: Montezuma's revenge, bro. No, thank you.

[Brandon approaches the barn as he pulls his pistol out]
Derek: What, are you scared, bro?
Brandon: Shut up.
Derek: [Brandon opens the barn door when his friend Derek laughs] Protein, bro.
[as Brandon and his friends see dozens of chickens]

[Brandon asks Derek how do you grow up in L.A. without a license]
Brandon: Seriously, who the hell grows up in L.A. without a license?
Derek: I don't know, man. He was only 16.
Brandon: Yeah, when I was 16 I'd been driving for over a year.

[Travis pleads for Brandon to give Baby James more time to heal]
Chris: He's not getting better.
Travis: He would if you'd give him a chance. Jesus, you gave him a week. He's fighting and we need to help him. I mean, give him some time for his blood to clot up inside. That's what they do in the hospitals
Brandon: We're not in a hospital.
Travis: Well, this is as good as it gets. Look around. Think about it. We can survive here long enough for him to heal. We've been here for a week. It's safe. There's no infected. Come on, guys, you can save James.
Derek: He would understand.
Travis: No, he is scared to death of you guys. I'm starting to get why.
Brandon: I don't know what to tell you, man.

[Brandon's friend Derek tells Chris a drunk story about Baby James]
Derek: James is blackout drunk, right. He comes staggering out of the room. He's grinning, but he's got lipstick smeared all over his face.
James: That's not the only place I had lipstick, first of all.
Derek: Oh, okay, then you're a contortionist, bro, because you were in there alone.
Chris: He was alone in there?
Derek: He was alone.
James: She climbed out the window, man.
Derek: Big Betsy D'Angelo?
James: Yeah.
Derek: She's not climbing out of any tiny window, bro. You're suspect. She's a fat-bottomed girl.
Chris: [Chris chuckles] No.
James: It's more cushion for the pushin', okay?