The Best Gilford Harrison Quotes

[first lines]
Gilford: An Inca tern.The scoundrel abruptly takes up birdwatching and within a month he spots the first Inca tern in all of North America.
Alastair: I wouldn't have believed it had I not been there myself.
Gilford: And you just know he's going to wring every last drop out of this discovery.
Alastair: He'll wring everything out of it.
Gilford: Lectures, books, guided tours; you name it. He will wring it.
Alastair: He claims Josephine Dawson suddenly agreed to a birdwatching date.
Gilford: Josephine Dawson with him!
[both men laugh]
Alastair: Rose-breasted grosbeak.
Gilford: Oh, a fine example, Plumlee. I dare say I caught a glimpse of it a hair before you, even.
Alastair: Nonsense. I'm putting it in my life list. June 17th, 7:45 a.m. rose-breasted grosbeak.
Gilford: We can both put it in our life lists, my good man. only I'll mark my sighting down for seven four four a.m.
Alastair: You are a devil. Ooh, look at this fellow.
Gilford: Oh dear.