The Best Ruth-Anne Quotes

Ruth: If you are looking for the Whitman, it's on back order for the next three months.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: You're kidding.
Ruth: Nothing like an interesting sex life to get people reading again.

Ruth: Here's your lingerie magazine. I was just leafing through it.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Thanks.
Ruth: Oh, wait a minute. Uh, you're using that for onanistic purposes, huh?
Dr. Joel Fleischman: What? What kind of purposes?
Ruth: Auto-erotic.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Me? No Not at all. Absolutely not! I was just going to order my mom a robe.
[flustered]
Ruth: I think you need something a little more exciting.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Exciting?
Ruth: Here's a Playboy. Eli Nute died a month before his subscription expired.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Oh no. Really?
[trying not to look interested in the Playboy]
Ruth: Women of Norway.
[reading the caption]
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Yeah well, I mean a lot of exceptional writers contribute to Playboy. There's Philip Roth, uh, Norman Mailer, the late Roald Dahl. An interview with Shintaro Ishihara?
Ruth: Don't worry Dr. Fleishmann, its that time of year. Everybody's libido has run amok.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: They rate the top ten single malt scotches! Now I, uh, wanna read this!
Ruth: I think I've got something for you a little racier in the back room.

Chris: Joel, I think that you're confusing the truth with facts.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: No, the facts change, Chris. The truth is constant.
Chris: Oh, on the contrary, my friend: The truth changes.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Oh, yeah? Give me an example.
Chris: The truth about Custer. Hero or villain? Civilizer or agent of genocide? The truth slips and turns. The facts remain the same.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Yeah? What about light? Particle or wave? I mean, it exhibits qualities of both. When the truth is finally known, the facts will be made to accommodate the truth.
Ruth: [to Ed] Now they're getting into paradox. Dicey stuff.