30 Best Tom Stall Quotes

[Mick the diner chef tells Tom and Pat about the craziest girl he ever slept with]
Mick: Yeah. She used to have these crazy goddamn dreams where instead of her boyfriend, I was some kind of demented killer. I woke up one night, she stuck a goddamn fork in my shoulder.
Tom: You're kidding me.
Mick: Nope. I'm spurting blood. She's sitting there crying, going, 'Baby, I love you, I love you.'
Tom: [Pat laughs] So, what happened? You broke up with her, right?
Mick: No, I married her.
Mick: [Pat continues to laugh] Hey, it lasted 6 years. Nobody's perfect, Tom.
Tom: I guess not.

[Jack confronts his dad after he knows the truth about his secret identity]
Jack: So, what am I supposed to call you now?
Tom: You're supposed to call me Dad. That's what I am... your Dad.
Jack: Are you really? So, you're some kind of closeted mobster... Dad? I mean, if I go rob Mr. Millikan's drug store, will you ground me if I don't give you a piece of the action? What, Dad? You tell me.
Tom: Please, son. Don't...
Jack: Tell me. If I talk to Sam about you, will you have me whacked?

[Leland and Billy walk into the diner and start to threaten Tom]
Leland: Coffee... Black.
William: The same. I'll have some pie - Some of that lemon meringue pie.
Tom: Guys, guys, I'm sorry. I'm - We're closed.
Leland: I said...
Leland: [Leland yells] Coffee!

[the news reporter Jenny Wyatt interviews Tom as he arrives home from the hospital]
Jenny: We're in Millbrook, just outside the home of American hero Tom Stall, who's just now returning from the hospital with his family. Mr. Stall, Jenny Wyatt, WRPK news. I have a few questions for you. How did it feel when you saw the guns of those ruthless killers pointed directly at you.
Tom: How did it feel?
Jenny: Yeah.
Tom: Not very good. Not very good.

[Tom gets a phone call in the middle of the night]
Tom: Hello?
Richie: [voice] Hey, Bro-heem. You're still pretty good with the killing. That's exciting.
Tom: Richie?
Richie: [chuckles; voice] Yeah, it's Richie. What do you say, Joey? Are you going to come see me? Or do I have to come see you?

[Leland and Billy prepare to murder everybody in Tom's diner]
Tom: Sir, we don't... we don't carry much cash here. You gentlemen are certainly welcome to all of it.
Leland: Oh, I know that, asshole. Believe me. I do know that!
Leland: [Leland pulls out his gun as the girl in the corner of the diner screams] Shut up, bitch!
Leland: [Leland holds his gun on Tom] Okay, Billy... Let's show this asshole we mean business.
William: [Billy looks at Charlotte] What? Her?
Leland: Yes, her. Do her!

[Tom sees Edie come out of the bathroom dressed up as a cheerleader]
Tom: [whispering] Holy cow.
Edie: [Edie reveals that she isn't wearing any panties under her skirt] What? Do you need some help with that, big boy?
Tom: Uh... Maybe.
[Edie whips Tom's belt off as it slams to the wall]

[Tom questions Jack about beating Bobby up and getting expelled]
Tom: What the hell were you thinking?
Jack: I wasn't thinking.
Tom: Obviously not.

[Mr. Fogarty asks Tom if he's from Philadelphia]
Tom: Pennsylvania? Is that where you gentleman are from?
Carl: [Mr. Fogarty rolls his eyes] Yeah, like you don't know.
Tom: Sorry. Did - Did we know each other?
Carl: [Mr. Fogarty removes his sunglasses, looking up at Tom] You tell me.

[Richie and Tom give each other a hug]
Tom: How you dong, Richie?
Richie: [Richie holds his head out to Joey] Mmm.
Richie: [Richie chuckles] Yeah.
Richie: [Richie hugs Joey] It's been a long, long time, bro-heem.

[Tom tries to take advantage of Mr. Fogarty's good side after getting Jack back]
Carl: You see how cozy it can be when you decide to play nice? Now, come on, Joey. Get in the car. You won't need your toothbrush. We'll take care of everything.
Tom: I think it'd be better if you'd just leave now.
Carl: [Mr. Fogarty stops] Joey.

[Richie talks to Joey about the business]
Richie: What am I gonna do? You bust up a made man's place. You killed some of his guys. You take his eye. Jesus, Joey... you nearly took out his left eye. Barbed wire, wasn't it? That's disgusting. You always were the crazy one.
Tom: Not anymore.
Richie: Yeah, I heard. You're living the American Dream. You really bought into it, didn't you? You've been this other guy, almost as long as you've been yourself. Hey, when you dream, are you still Joey?
Tom: Joey's been dead a long time.
Richie: And yet here you sit... big as life. You know you cost me a lot of time and money. Before you pulled that shit with Fogarty, I was a shoe-in to take over when the boss croaked. A shoe-in. It was made very clear to me, Joey. I had to clean up your mess, or nothing was ever gonna happen for me! You got no idea how much shit I had to pull to get back in with those guys. You cost me! A hell of a lot, Joey. A hell of a lot!
Tom: Looks like you're doing all right over here.
Richie: Yeah, I am, I am. I'm still behind the eight-ball... because of you. There's a certain lack of respect, a certain lack of trust. The boys in Boston are just waitin' for me to go down.

[Edie drives Tom home from the diner and starts to flirt with him]
Edie: We never got to be teenagers together.
Tom: Uh-huh.
Edie: I'm gonna fix that.

[Tom and Edie see Mr. Fogarty for the first time]
Edie: Oh, look, more reporters. Nice.
Tom: [Tom sees Mr. Fogarty walk in the diner] They don't look like reporters.

[last lines]
Richie: [Joey holds a gun to Richie's head] Jesus, Joey.
Tom: [as Joey shoots Richie in the head, then stands over his dead body] Jesus, Richie.

[Tom argues with Jack about their way of solving problems]
Tom: In this family, we do not solve our problems by hitting people!
Jack: No, in this family, we shoot them!
[as Tom slaps Jack across the face]

[Tom explains to Edie what happened to Joey Cusack]
Edie: What are you, like, some multiple personality schizoid? It's like flipping a switch back and forth for you?
Tom: I never expected to see Joey again.
Edie: Oh, yeah. Joey. What, was he in hiding? Was he dead?
Tom: I thought he was. I thought I killed Joey Cusack. I went out to the desert, and I killed him.
Edie: Oh, my God.
Tom: I spent three years becoming Tom Stall. Edie, you have to know this. I wasn't really born again until I met you. I was nothing.
Edie: I don't believe you.

[Joey sees Richie for the first time again]
Richie: Can you believe that place is still standing, 'The Track and Turf'? Didn't you bang Jill Levy there right on the bar in front of everybody?
Tom: I never banged Jill Levy.
Richie: Well, you should've. She was... She was something.

[Richie asks Joey about having a farm]
Richie: So, you like that farm life? Milking cows and shit?
Tom: I don't have a farm.
Richie: [chuckles] No? Fogarty thought you lived on some kind of farm. He said you could smell pig. How that old fart would know what a pig smells like, I don't know, but that's what he said.

[Mr. Fogarty holds his gun on Tom asking if he has any last words]
Carl: [angry tone] You got anything to say before I blow your brains out, you miserable prick?
Tom: [gruff voice] I should've killed you back in Philly.
Carl: [smiles] Yeah, Joey. You should have.

[Edie asks Tom about where the name 'Stall' came from]
Edie: So... you didn't grow up in Portland. And you never talk about your adopted parents because you don't have any! And our name... Jesus Christ, my name. Jack's name. Sarah's name? Stall? Tom Stall? Did you just make that up? Where did that name come from?
Tom: I mean... It was available.
Edie: Yeah. I guess I was available, too.

[Mr. Fogarty threatens Tom to come with him back to Philadelphia]
Tom: I told you, I have never been to Philadelphia!
Carl: [chuckles] Wow. You sound like you really believe your own crap, don't you? You know, you're trying so hard to be this other guy. It's painful to watch.

[Richie tells Joey about the first day Joey came home as a baby]
Richie: You always were a problem for me, Joey. When mom brought you home from the hospital, I tried to strangle you in your crib. I guess all kids try to do that. She caught me, whacked the daylights out of me.
Tom: I've heard that story.
Richie: Well, what do you think? Better late than never?
Tom: Richie... I'm here to make peace. Tell me what I got to do to make things right.
Richie: You could do something, I guess.
Richie: [Richie pauses as Ruben reaches into his sleeve behind Joey] You could die, Joey.

[Edie asks Tom for the truth about if he's Joey Cusack]
Tom: Edie. Honey, are you okay?
Edie: Tell me the truth.
Tom: The truth?
Edie: Please, you can do that, can't you? You can do that, can't you, please?
Tom: What do you think you heard?
Edie: It's not what I heard. It's what I saw. I saw Joey. I saw you turn into Joey right before my eyes. I saw a killer... the one Fogarty warned me about. You did kill men back in Philly, didn't you? Did you do it for money, or did you do it because you enjoyed it?
Tom: Joey did, both. I didn't... Tom Stall didn't.
[as Edie runs into the bathroom to vomit]

[Richie tells Joey he's pissed at him]
Richie: I'm pretty pissed at you, bro-heem. You could've called. You could've dropped a postcard in the mail. We're brothers, what'd you think would happen.
Tom: I thought that business would come first.
Richie: Well, yeah. Yeah, I know.

[Tom's daughter Sarah has a a bad nightmare about the shadow monsters]
Jack: What's wrong, Dad?
Tom: Hi, kiddo. Sarah's just had a bad dream.
Jack: [Jack turns on the light] Oh.
Sarah: I saw monsters Jack.
Jack: [Jack gasps] Monsters? What kind?
Sarah: I don't know. They came out of my closet, and then they were in the shadows.
Jack: Hmm, shadow monsters. Well, they look pretty scary, but they really can't do anything. Especially when the lights are on. They're scared of the light.

[Tom is frisked as soon as he enters Richie's home]
Ruben: Got to frisk you.
Tom: Nah, I'll save you the trouble. I'm not packing.
Ruben: I got to frisk you.
Tom: All right. I don't smell very good. I've been driving pretty much non-stop 15 to 16 hours.
Ruben: I'll hold my nose.

[Mr. Fogarty calls Tom by the name of Joey in the diner]
Tom: Who's Joey?
Carl: You are.
Tom: My name's Tom, sir.
Carl: Of course it is.

[Tom talks to Edie in bed after making love to her]
Edie: What is it? Huh?
Tom: I remember the moment I knew you were in love with me. I saw it in your eyes. I can still see it.
Edie: Of course you can. I still love you.
Tom: I'm the luckiest son-of-a-bitch alive.
Edie: You are the best man I've ever known. There is no luck involved.

[Mr. Fogarty and his men have a conversation with Tom in the diner]
Tom: We really are quite busy here today as you can see. So if you gentlemen aren't going to be eating, I really should offer your seats to paying customers.
Carl: Hmm. Well...
Carl: [Mr. Fogarty pulls out a $100 bill and lays it on the table] Now we're paying customers.
Tom: [Tom picks up the bill] I can't take this.
Carl: It shouldn't be a problem for you.
Tom: What's that supposed to mean?
Charlie: Mr. Fogarty's just making conversation here.
Tom: Well, whatever you want to call it, this conversation is over.
Charlie: I think he wants us to leave, Mr. Fogarty.
Frank: Do you know what he does when he don't like people, Mr. Fogarty.
Carl: Yeah. I'm scared. We should leave before he goes all 'Dirty Harry' on us.