Top 30 Quotes From William Frawley

Michael: Where are you off to?
Mike: Who, me?
Michael: No your twin brother.
Mike: Oh I'm just going out to trap a desperate blackmailer.

Steve: I mean she seems uh just a little...
Mike: Very mature looking for her age but she does seem a little...
Michael: Yeah she does seem a little...
Chip: Dumb.
Michael: That's the word.

Michael: Chip go on upstairs and wash your hands.
Chip: You made me do that before I set the table.
Michael: With all these germs around you can't be too careful.
Chip: Why don't you come right out and say it. Little pictures have big ears.

Mike: I was supposed to go over there. It's five blocks!
Michael: And that explains it. And each one of those blocks is studded with landmines.
Mike: It's not that important.
Michael: You know when when I was a kid I walked two miles to school every day. Sudsy's right, the human race is going downhill.

Robbie: Hank and I are going to raise him in the backyard. We'll build a pen for him and everything.
Mike: You know dad it might not too bad idea. I hear those 4-H kids do pretty well for themselves.
Michael: Thanks Emily. I'll do something for you sometime.

Steve: Chip, what are you doing?
Chip: A tiger always circles his kill.
Michael: I'm glad he said that. I was afraid for a minute he'd say something stupid.

Chip: How come Mike talks so much lately?
Michael: He wants his dad to know he's getting his money's worth sending him to college.

Michael: Tell her I was taking a bath and caught my toe in the drain.
Chip: Gee Bub, you're always telling us not to tell lies and you make us tell Miss Gilbert all kinds of stuff.
Michael: Get this will you. Now he's developing scruples.

Michael: Serve breakfast to Tramp? Let him get his own breakfast.

Steve: What happened?
Michael: Noise takes a holiday.

Robbie: See he doesn't bite.
Michael: What do you mean he doesn't bite?
Robbie: Uh her aunt warned her.
Michael: Well you gotta look out for me just the same. I kick baby bunnies around.

Michael: The old ones were just broken in. I wear my pants out faster then I do my shoes.
Steve: Maybe because you do more sitting then walking.
Michael: Not in this house.

Hank: I don't mind my mom having friends she went to school with but why they have to foul it up by having daughters?
Michael: It's the most thoughtless thing I ever heard of.

Michael: Grab a towel Mike and start drying.
Mike: Well Dad's using the towel.
Steve: Oh we're rich, we have two towels. I'll use the other one.

Michael: Where'd you get the paint?
Chip: I traded Doreen Peters one of my swim fins.
Michael: That's kinda a silly trade. What good is one swim fin gonna do you?
Chip: What good is it gonna do her? She'll be willin' to trade it back for pretty nearly anything.

Chip: What are we having?
Michael: Wait and see.
Chip: Aw, we always have that.

Michael: [looking at his schedule] What's B-U-B?
Aunt: That's your name.

Mike: Must be like studying with Madame Curie. Real genius, huh?
Robbie: Every time she opened her mouth it was a catastrophe.
Michael: Not very good at poetry huh?
Robbie: Next to her I'm like Robert Louis Longfellow.

Michael: What do you mean fighting with your brother, using books. Books are expensive. Use your feet next time.

Salesman: Madam, I know you are simply going to...
[realizes it's an old man in front of him]
Salesman: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.
Michael: Oh, that's all right... Happens all the time. What's your paddlin'?
Michael: Oh, uuh... Cosmetics.
Michael: Oh-ho, BOY! Have you got the wrong house!
Salesman: Oh?
Michael: I'm the nearest thing to a lady around here. Come back when somebody's married.
Salesman: Yes, yes, I-I'll do that.
Michael: I will be back.
[slams the door]

Michael: Your aunt pinched a few too many tomatoes and I got a little salty.
Marian: A lttle salty! He told everyone within earshot that I looked like an elephant.
Michael: I said you danced like an elephant.

Chip: I guess I better go up to my room Sudsy.
Huey: I think I hear my mother calling anyway.
Michael: How can you hear your mother calling when you live three blocks from here?
Huey: She must be calling because I gotta feeling it's time to go home.

Michael: Well so now I look like a woman.
Steve: I didn't say you looked like her.
Robbie: Boy can you imagine anything worse then being a woman and having to look like Bub?
Michael: Well, thanks a lot. And I don't think you got Rock Hudson worried very much either.

Michael: Mike I'd like to borrow that record of yours, I may want to take some Cha-Cha lessons.
Robbie: You don't have to speak Spanish to Cha-Cha Bub.
Michael: I know. But if I ever step on the the toes of one of those Spanish instructors I want to hear exactly what she really thinks of me.

Michael: Where's the vacuum cleaner?
Mike: Chip's using it Bub.
Michael: What, out in the backyard?
Robbie: It's great for leaves.

Steve: What have we got here Rob?
Robbie: Dad it's my new car.
Michael: Robbie you change car more oftener then I change shirts.

Michael: I know it's quite a trip out to that kitchen but do you think you could make it there?
Chip: I know a shortcut.
Michael: You would.

Huey: I thought how hard I was workin'. And all of a sudden I printed some extra tickets so I could win better.
Chip: Gosh Sudsy you sure are a clunky little crook.
Michael: How do you like that. I was just a pawn in tbe hands of the junior mafia.

Mike: Well I had to shave Bub and you're using every mirror in the house.
Michael: Well how else is a guy supposed to do a self portrait?
Mike: How come you've given yourself so much hair?
Michael: I paint it as I see it.

Michael: [sniffing Robbie, who's preening in the mirror] What have you got on?
Robbie: Lotion. After shaving.
Michael: After shaving what? You smell like an explosion in a barber shop!