Top 30 Quotes From Bill

Razor: You want the good tea or the bad tea?
Bill: What's the difference?
Razor: I call one "good", one "bad".
Bill: Uh, I'll take the good one.
Razor: Excellent, positive attitude. Will help with the horror to come.
Bill: What horror?
Razor: Mainly the tea.

Bill: So how do we stay out of trouble?
The: Well, I'm not the right person to ask.
Bill: Okay, but- When you go somewhere dangerous, what do you take?
The: [gesturing into the TARDIS] First door on the left, second right, under the stairs, past the bins, fifth door on the left.
Bill: What's that?
The: The wardrobe. Pick a dress.
Bill: So the TARDIS has dresses... and likes a bit of trouble. Yeah, I think I'm low-key in love with her.
The: Me, too.

Bill: That's what I don't get. They invade somewhere, take control, why go to the trouble of changing the past?
Nardole: However bad the situation is, if people think that's how it's always been, they put up with it. It's 90% of the job done.

Bill: Yeah, but he's called 'The Doctor,' so...
Missy: [explaining to Bill] Well, he says. 'I'm "The Doctor,"' and they say, 'Doctor who?' See, I'm cutting to the chase, baby. I'm streamlinin'. I'm saving us ac-tu-al mi-nutes.
Bill: Yeah, okay. Whatever.

Bill: Get in!

[extra scene]
Bill: But yours is really different. Just feels... warmer.
The: She won, got him under control. Some houses feel friendly, and some don't. Maybe now we know why.
Bill: What do you mean?
The: I assumed these Dryads were alien. Maybe they're not. Maybe they're everywhere. Every creak, every wall from this or worse. Oh!
The: [whispering] I changed the title deeds. I'm getting rather good at that.
[Bill giggles]
The: Guess who owns the house now?
Bill: Me?
The: Better. Me.
Bill: Time Lord and landlord, yeah?
The: Yeah. Isn't that... awesome?

Bill: Why all the fuss? It's just mud from the river, isn't it?
The: Mud's one word for it.
Bill: Is this even the right place? The creature's almost a mile away.
The: The creature's *head* is almost a mile away.
[Bill picks up one of the cut "mud" bricks with an ungloved and sniffs it]
The: I assume now we're at the other end.
[realization strikes Bill and she drops the brick]

The: What's the opposite of a massacre?
Bill: OK, what?
The: In my experience, a lecture.

Bill: Doesn't anyone notice the TARDIS?
The: Your species hardly notices anything.

The: Humanity's doomed to never learn from its mistakes.
Bill: Well... I guess that's part of our charm.
The: No. It's really quite annoying.

Bill: Traveling to the past, there's got to be rules. If I step on a butterfly, it could send ripples through time that mean I'm not even born yet in the first place, and I could just disappear.
The: Definitely. I mean, that's what happened to Pete.
Bill: Pete?
The: Your friend, Pete. He was standing there a moment ago, but he stepped on a butterfly. Now you don't even remember him.
[Bill is horrified, then realizes he's joking]
Bill: Shut up! I'm being serious.
The: Yeah, so was Pete.
Bill: You know what I mean. Every choice I make in this moment, here and now, could change the whole future.
The: Exactly like every other day of your life. The only thing to do is to stop worrying about it.
Bill: [grumbles] Okay, if you say so.
The: Pete stopped worrying.

[communicating over automatic comms]
Bill: Hang on. I'm being thick. I can come with you.
The: [as she is doing it] Took that long to think of photographing it?
Bill: You'd already memorized it, hadn't you.
The: Yep.
Bill: Stop trying to keep me out of trouble!

[Opening shot, the glowing end of a large spacecraft, engines pulling an inferno inwards. The view moves down its side. Lingering occasionally at windows, we see an industrial city and the number 1056, then a green, hilly terrain under a blue sky, then plains full of wheat. Pulling back, the camera looks down the remaining length of the ship, pointing towards a black hole and its violent accretion disk as rocks fall toward it and explode. At the end of the ship facing the black hold is a small blister of a room jutting out from the center of a large, mostly featureless bulkhead. Inside, a video camera comes alert as the sound of the TARDIS materialisation begins. Solidifying, the door opens and out walks...]
Missy: Hello. I'm Doctor Who.
[one of the cameras twitches, as if saying, "No," then locks onto her face as she poses]
Missy: And these are my plucky assistants...
[Bill and Nardole walk out of the TARDIS, glumly]
Missy: Thing One, and the other one.
Nardole: Bill, Nardole.
[Missy walks to the center of the room]
Missy: We picked up your distress call...
[Missy smiles and winks exaggeratedly]
Missy: and here we are to help...
[Missy spins and twirls her closed umbrella over her head]
Missy: like awesome heroes.
Bill: Yeah, no, we're not assistants, that's...
Missy: Ok, right, what- So, what does he call you, companions? Pets? Shnacks?

Bill: What would be left of me?
Missy: You'd be a husk, completely and irrevocably brain dead. You couldn't even get on Celebrity Love Island.

Bill: Do people ever hit you?
The: Well, only when I'm talking.

Bill: Nobody knows the Doctor's real name.
Missy: I do because I grew up with him, and his real name is 'Doctor Who'.
The: Bill, she's just trying to wind you up.

The: [the 1st Doctor - talking in a bit 'dated' manner, tries to impress upon Bill Potts that the computer-generated lady is, after all, a woman] Oh, my dear, I - I hope it doesn't offend you, that I have had some experience with the, uh, 'fairer sex'.
[Twelfth Doctor is cringing at "himself", because he knows what's coming...]
Bill: Me, too.
[First Doctor and the Captain stare in shock]
The: Good lord.

Bill: Is this stuff safe?
The: Potentially.
Bill: Potentially? What does potentially mean?
The: Safe with a frisson of excitement.

Bill: [to The Doctor] I waited... I waited... I waited for you.

Bill: Nardole, are you secretly a badass?
Nardole: Nothing secret about it, baby doll.

Bill: [a little girl enters the barn carrying something] Is that it?
[Alit puts down something covered in a rough cloth]
Bill: I really wouldn't harm you, you know.
Alit: I know
[But she still backs away as Bill steps forward and picks it up, then uncovers it and turns it over. It is a mirror, and her reflection reveals that she is really still Cyber-Bill]
Cyber: : That is not me.
Alit: I'm sorry.
Cyber: : I am Bill Potts.
Alit: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[She attempts to run out of the barn, but runs into the Doctor as he is entering the barn]
Twelfth: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
[Cyber-Bill puts down the mirror]
Twelfth: Hello, Bill Pott.s
Cyber: : Doc-tor.
Alit: I'm sorry. I gave her a mirror.
Twelfth: Oh no, don't be sorry. You were being kind. Nothing wrong with kind. Jelly baby?
Alit: Thank you.
Twelfth: You're welcome.
Alit: Bye.
Twelfth: Toodle-oo
[Alit leaves and closes the barn door behind her. We see Bill as her human self again. The Doctor walks towards Bill, but has a bit of a limp]
Bill: What was that, in the mirror?
Twelfth: Er, a Cyberman.
Bill: What's a Cyberman?
Twelfth: A technologically augmented human being, designed to survive in a hostile environment. Perfectly sound idea. Unfortunately all they want to do is to turn everyone else into Cybermen too. They go viral.
Bill: Why?
Twelfth: They consider themselves to be an improvement, an upgrade.
Bill: No. Why do I see a Cyberman in the mirror?
[Long pause]
Twelfth: What do you remember?
Bill: There's quite a lot, you know? I was down there for ten years.
Twelfth: And then one day, they took you to the Conversion Theatre. Do you remember that?
Bill: No. Bit's of it. You turned up.
Twelfth: Do you remember what they did to you?
Bill: Nothing. Look at me, I'm fine. I'm fine!
[But as she touches her forehead, she sees a Cyber-hand]
Twelfth: You are so strong. You're amazing. Your mind has rebelled against the programming. It's built a wall around itself. A castle made of you, and you are standing on the battlements, saying no. No, not me.
Bill: What are you talking about?
Twelfth: All that time, living under the Monks, you learned to hang on to yourself.
Bill: But I'm, I'm fine. Look at me!
Twelfth: Bill, what you see is not you. Your mind is acting like a perception filter. You still see yourself as you used to be.
Bill: Used to be?
Twelfth: It won't last forever.
Bill: What do you mean, used to be?
[She advances, he retreats. Then she sees her Cyberman shadow cast on the wall]
Twelfth: Bill, I'm sorry, but you can't be angry any more. A temper is a luxury you can no longer...
Bill: Why can't I? Why can't I be angry?
Bill: Bill, please!
Cyber: : You left me alone for ten...
Bill: ...years! Don't tell me I can't be angry!
[Her helmet weapon blasts the barn door to firewood. The children scream]

Bill: Are you trying to get rid of us?
The: Why?
Nardole: Because you're sending us into the dark after a man with a gun.
The: Ah, well, I've thought of that.
Nardole: Thank you.
The: Nardole, make sure that you walk in front of Bill.

Bill: Why are you Scottish?
The: I'm not Scottish, I'm just cross.
Bill: Is there a Scotland in space?
The: They're all over the place, demanding independence from every planet they land on.

Suit: You look like you're trying to run. Would you like some help with that?
Bill: Can you shut your girlfriend up?
Nardole: Velma! That was her name.
Suit: Confirmed. My name is now Velma.

Bill: [upon entering the vault and seeing Missy] It's... it's just a woman. God, the way you and Nardole have been carrying on, I thought you had some kind of monster in here or something.
The: I do.

Bill: [to the Doctor has he leaves her in the Tardis] Well, I guess that someone has to do something, but why is it you? Can't you phone the police?

Bill: Regency England. Bit more black than they show in the movies.
The: So was Jesus. History's a whitewash.

Paul: Bill, if you get scared in the night, you know where I am, yeah?
Bill: What?
Paul: Just if you need any er, of my help, or my whatever, you know?
Bill: Yeah. Er, I get that you're into me, but, um, sorry, you're not my type. It's just, er I tend to go for girls, usually, so
Paul: Oh. Oh, right! I was never in with a chance. Awesome!

Bill: [the Doctor touches a spacesuit] Doctor!
The: It's fried. Should be safe.
Nardole: You thought you were safe before.
The: Yes, well I'm bound to be right eventually, aren't I?

Nicolas: Choose a number, any number, both of you, now. And say it when I tap this table.
[he taps the table]
Bill,48463: [speaking at the same time] 36.