The Best Brad Bottig Quotes

Sue: I know you said not to look at Yelp, Brad, but I did.
Brad: Oh, Sue. I have an advance copy of the yearbook. Don't look at that either.

Brad: Who punches a guy while he's on his tippy toes? That's not how a dance fight works. I mean, seriously, where did that guy go to summer camp?

Brad: [on phone with Sue] Everyone in school got out of Math and English to go to the gym to watch four college a cappella groups have a sing-off. I totally think The Testostitones are gonna take it. Also, reporters are here, and Carly and I got interviewed for the six o'clock news. I gotta get back in there, Sue. They're handing out free ice cream!

Sue: Axl's locker was down this hall, and he would never let me walk down it, even though I had a class here. I would have to go outside, and the old crossing guard would have to lift me up so I could crawl through the window.
Brad: Sue, we don't have a crossing guard.
Sue: Huh. Then who was that?

Sue: Mom, I need your advice. I was super excited when Brad asked me to be his partner after his original partner got mono and his replacement partner tore a ligament, and nobody answered his ad in the school paper. But I'm afraid he's just asking me in order to rekindle our romance.
Frankie: Uh, you know, I don't think you have to worry about that too much.
Sue: Are you sure?
Brad: [calling out] Sue, I'm borrowing your leg warmers.
Frankie: Positive.