Top 30 Quotes From Colonel Wilma Deering

Colonel: I have something I would like to say.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Well, I...
Colonel: I thought you were a spy, Captain Rogers.
[Wilma approaches Buck]
Colonel: I was wrong.
[they kiss for a long moment. While kissing, Buck looks at his watch]
Colonel: [smiles] Would you like to go someplace?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Um, I, uh, I'm not up to that yet. I've been out of it for quite a while. 500 years. I've got to go easy on re-entry.
[Buck walks away]

Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: You ready?
Colonel: Mm-hmm.
[flips Buck over her shoulder]
Colonel: How's that?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Fine. Just fine.
Colonel: Not too hard?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: No. Oh, no.
Colonel: Maybe I shouldn't have asked you to teach me judo until you'd fully recover from teaching 20th-century battle strategy.

Colonel: You're doing just fine.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Da svedanya.
Colonel: I beg your pardon?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: I'm just trying to be friendly.
Colonel: Violating our airspace is an act of war, not friendship.

Colonel: [since cows are extinct...] Where did you get the meat?
Hieronymous: [... mountain lizard in that chili everybody ate!] You don't wanna know!

Col. Wilma Deering: We've got to find that base and destroy that nerve gas *immediately!*

Hieronymous: Maybe he slipped back under his rock.
Koren: Shut up or so help me I'll kill you right here and now.
Hieronymous: [on Wilma] I think she might have something to say about that.
Koren: That one is almost as old as you are.
Colonel: [stuns him] Old but true, Mr. Koren.
Hieronymous: Mighty nice shootin', Colonel.

Colonel: [in Huer's office] Getting Jorex out alive isn't going to be easy, Doctor.
Dr. Elias Huer: No, it doesn't appear so.
Colonel: I wanna go to Mykos in case Buck needs my help.
Dr. Elias Huer: Well, you certainly have my permission. Prepare to leave immediately!

Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: It's not gonna be easy, is it?
Col. Wilma Deering: Noah's just too old to go into space again.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: [shakes his head in disdain] Even in the 25th century, they still throw people on the scrap heap because of their age.
Col. Wilma Deering: Buck, I didn't want to ground him. It's just that he wasn't - he wasn't capable anymore, and I didn't want to see him get hurt.

[at Twiki's suggestion, his mind is placed in Crichton's body. Crichton is activated]
Crichton: I am robotic unit T-W-K-E-4.
Colonel: Well, he's working!
[the dwarves clap their hands]
Dr. Goodfellow: Oh, thank goodness for that.
Crichton: I am governed by Dr. Issac Asimov's three immutable robotic laws: One: A robot may not injure a human being, or through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm; Two: A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the first law; Three: A robot must protect its own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.
Dr. Goodfellow: That's wonderful. Do you know what you've just heard? Those are the first words spoken by all articulate robots, following the moment when the positronic brain is introduced to the servile mechanism.

Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Twiki tells me you've been "banking" Crichton, Doctor.
Dr. Goodfellow: Crichton? Yes. A truly remarkable robot, I tell you.
Colonel: That's the understatement of the century.
Dr. Goodfellow: Century? No, no. Not century, Colonel - millennium. Do you know he's absorbed an entire millennium in the last three days? And he's extraordinarily attuned to the unusual. Do you know what he said to me this morning? He told me that the tongue - listen to this - The tongue of a blue whale can weight as much as a full-grown elephant.
Colonel: Oh, come, Doctor. That's a little hard to believe.
Dr. Goodfellow: Difficult to swallow, you mean?

Dr. Elias Huer: [no sign of Buck] We've kept all communication channels open since you've returned, Colonel. We haven't heard from him.
Colonel: [dejected tone] He's probably dead.

[last lines]
Dr. Elias Huer: Ah, Buck, what was it you said this liquid is again?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Wine. Burgundy, to be exact. I filched some fruit that looked liked grapes from the hydroponics lab, squeezed them into juice, and had Theo hit it with a little Delta radiation to speed up the fermentation process, and, uh, well, here we go.
[drinks his wine]
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: That's not bad. So, Theo, any luck tracing down Sherese?
Dr. Theopolis: None, I'm afraid, Buck. She's probably halfway to Arcturus by now.
Colonel: What do you think Varek will do now without Kellogg?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: He's asked me to take him back to his home planet, or what's left of it. I can understand that. It's the only home he's known.
Dr. Elias Huer: You're going to take him back, then?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: It's the least I can do for a fellow survivor.
[the door panel beeps, and Huer and Wilma pour their glasses of wine into the plant they're sitting next to as Buck answers the door]
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Ah, Joella, Twiki, come on in. Well, what'd you think of him?
Joella: He is everything you said he'd be, Buck.
[Twiki chirps. Joella laughs]
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: What's so funny?
Joella: He is. Didn't you hear?
[Twiki chirps and laughs]
Joella: Tinky-winky, really, now.

Col. Wilma Deering: [to the squadron members] You're all almost mandatory retirement age.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: They don't look a day over sixty.
Col. Wilma Deering: Retirement is eighty-five.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Eighty-five?

Colonel: It's a tree.
Dr. Theopolis: Not quite, Colonel. It's a Ficus decora, commonly known as a rubber plant.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Yeah. Isn't it beautiful? I had to go to three hydroponics labs to find one.
Twiki: [chirping] Somebody wanna take this thing?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Sorry, Twiki. There we are.
[sets plant on the desk]
Dr. Elias Huer: Well, I'm extremely touched, Buck, but I don't think I'd know how to take proper care of such a thing.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Oh, it's a snap, Doc. You just water it twice a week and feed it once a month. It'll grow on you.
Dr. Elias Huer: That's just what I'm afraid of.

Colonel: Twiki, are you still upset because you're not going to visit Genesia with us?
Twiki: Who, me?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: After all, Twiki, the last time you and Hieronymus Fox got together, you almost punched out your capacitors.
Twiki: Bidi-bidi-bidi. Kid can't take a joke.

Colonel: Ever since entering that freighter, for the first time in my life, I can feel death as a tangible presence.

[last lines]
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: [opening up bottle of Hieronymous Fox's bubbly] Was 2490 a good year?
Colonel: How could it be? You weren't even around.
[all laugh]

Dr. Elias Huer: And this?
Col. Wilma Deering: A party hat.
Dr. Elias Huer: A hat?
Col. Wilma Deering: You wear it on your head.
Dr. Elias Huer: I most certainly will not.
Col. Wilma Deering: Oh, Dr. Huer.
Dr. Elias Huer: Colonel there will soon be dozens of Security Directorate Agents swarming through the building and guarding the entrance downstairs. Perhaps it's academic but if by some small chance an assassin does get into the building after me, I will not be murdered wearing a blue and white plastic cone on my head. It's positively undignified.
Twiki: [chirping] Party pooper!
Dr. Elias Huer: Party pooper? Well, I'm not certain, mind you, but we probably have one of those here too. And this.
[squeezes party horn]

Colonel: Buck, don't you dare get yourself killed. Don't you dare!

Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Miss Cosmos? A beauty pageant winner? I can't believe people still go in for that sort of thing.
Colonel: Well, beauty contests are much more sophisticated than they used to be. It's what *inside* that counts.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Hmm.
Colonel: Literally.
Dr. Elias Huer: Oh, yes, indeed. Genetically speaking, Miss Cosmos is closer than anyone to the perfect example of the female human in this quadrant.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: What do Miss Cosmos and the Lyran Queen have to do with your job?
Dr. Elias Huer: Oh, well... Someone tried to rob or kidnap her yesterday. A woman, actually, with extraordinary powers. We haven't as yet been able to establish a positive identification for the suspect, but we believe it to be one of a pair of notorious thieves which up to now has specialized in inanimate objects of great value, but... now has turned to...
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Bodies.
Dr. Elias Huer: Bodies, exactly. And in this particular case, a body of staggering genetic value.
[Buck nods]
Dr. Elias Huer: Under the circumstances, the stellar authorities have asked for our help, because their agents are too well known.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: [sighs:] Huh! Would you like me to intercept that cruise ship and look after Miss Cosmos for you?
[smiles]
Dr. Elias Huer: [obviously going just as he and Wilma rehearsed] Well, that would be very good of you, Buck.
[Wilma smiles]
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: And after all, the prospect of meeting the... *perfect* woman is fascinating.
Dr. Elias Huer: Yeah, I would think so.
Colonel: Gmph...
Dr. Elias Huer: Well, you'll be in charge of general security, of course. You know, the mere fact that you're not one of us makes you less suspect.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Wilma, I'm gonna need your help.
Colonel: How can I refuse?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Well, I warn you, I play a very mean game of shuffleboard.
Colonel: Huh?
Dr. Elias Huer: Shuffleboard?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Well...
[sighs]
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: another... tribal custom bites the dust.

[with Alicia'a help, Buck and Wilma have escaped from their detention cell]
Buck: [pointing a gun at the guards] Alright gentlemen, into the cell, if you please.
[the guards enter the cell, then Buck removes the key to reactivate the force field, before turning to Alicia]
Buck: Thank you.
[turns to Wilma]
Buck: Well, Wilma, what do you think?
Col. Wilma Deering: I think they should strip!
Buck: Wilma!
[turning to the guards]
Buck: You heard what the lady said!

Colonel: Buck, I... I hope you find what you're looking for.
[quick kiss on his cheek, and a smile]
Colonel: You deserve it.

Colonel: Mr. President, are you all right?
Hieronymous: Uh, before I answer that, whose side are you on?
Colonel: Yours. Colonel Deering from the Earth Defense Directorate. How did you get away from Zale?
Hieronymous: Nothing to it. I just did a quick impersonation of a sack of groceries.
Colonel: Well, I guess I'm a little late.
Hieronymous: Nope. You're just in time. Now, my bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran. She and somebody named Buck Rogers are on their way to Zale's place right now.
Colonel: Buck?
Hieronymous: Yeah, and if we don't we don't get back there and help them, they're both gonna get wasted. You know what "wasted" means?
Colonel: Yes. I've heard the term.

Dr. Elias Huer: If I understand you correctly, you're saying we don't have any choice in the matter.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: I don't like it any more than you, Doc. But either we fight the Zaads, or we can sit it out here indefinitely.
Colonel: But there are so few us.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Down here. But Ardala's sitting up there with the Draconia loaded to the gills with firepower.
Dr. Elias Huer: You're right. It would even things up considerably if they were on our side.
Colonel: She won't fight. You heard her.
Dr. Elias Huer: Yes. If only we could find someone to convince her.
[they both look at Buck]
Twiki: Run while you can, boss.

Major: So you're Buck Rogers, huh?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Since the day I was born.
Major: I beg your pardon, Colonel, but, uh, he's no captain.
Colonel: That's not quite true, Duke. While Buck has formally declined to join the Defense Directorate, he does help us out on occasion.
Major: Declined to join? Now, would a big, brave hotshot like yourself do something like that?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: I didn't think I'd like the company.

Dr. Elias Huer: Now, that's Andromeda, the most popular group in the galaxy today.
Colonel: They have an incredible influence over young people. It's amazing.
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Sounds like The Beatles.
Colonel: The who?
Capt. William 'Buck' Rogers: Not The Who. The Beatles. It was a popular group around my time.

Colonel: Attention, alien spacecraft. Do you read?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Watch who you're calling "alien." You don't look so familiar yourself, you know. Who are you?
Colonel: Please restrict your answers to yes and no. You are in grave danger.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: From who, you?
Colonel: You are traversing a narrow corridor into our Inner Cities.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Inner what? Look, lady...
Colonel: Colonel Deering. Now please be quiet. If you deviate from my orders by so much a thousand yards, you will burned into vapors - do you understand?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Vapors? Yeah, yeah, I understand. What do I do?
Colonel: Do you have manual override?
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Sure.
Colonel: Then follow me very closely.
Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: Be right on your tail.

Capt. William "Buck" Rogers: No offense, Wilma, but you look like something the cat dragged in, then dragged right out again.
Col. Wilma Deering: Why is it that for once I know exactly what you're talking about?

Twiki: Hi, guys.
Colonel: What's the matter, Twiki? It's only 0300 hours.
Twiki: I'm bushed.
Dr. Theopolis: Now just a minute, Twiki. If you think you're going to retire for the evening without hearing from me, you are quite incorrect. Your behavior even since you set foot on this ship has been abominable.
[Twiki powers down]
Dr. Theopolis: Twiki? Twiki? Twiki? Twiki!

Col. Wilma Deering: [apprehended Cassius, forces him at laser-point to comply:] I'll give you thirty seconds before I fry you inch by inch from the bottom up.