The Best Judge Alan Berman Quotes

Judge: Clayton Warner. Are you the guy who wrote that book?
Clay: Yes I am.
Judge: I started it. Hmmph.

Judge: Miss Green. Delightful to see you. You grace my courtroom so rarely.
Shambala: Certainly not by choice, Your Honor.
Judge: Tell your client it's time to say the magic words.
Shambala: [Whispers] Not guilty.
Angela: Not guilty.
Paul: Your Honor, with a case this strong, the People see a substantial flight risk. We request $250,000.
Shambala: The defendant has custody of her daughter, Your Honor. High bail would be a serious hardship.
Judge: She should've thought of her child before she became a prostitute.
Shambala: Did it ever occur to Your Honor that some women become prostitutes in order to support their children?
Judge: How stupid of me. God forbid you should get a regular job. And let me point out, Miss Green, for your next visit, that's a table, not a soapbox. Bail is $150,000. Short date. In honor of motherhood.
[Bangs gavel]