1000 Best Law & Order Quotes

Detective: [seeing Downing's dead body hanging from the ceiling of a New Jersey motel room] Well it ain't Fiji.

Molly: What's going on?
Attorney: We're discussing a deal.
Molly: That guy was lying. I wouldn't sleep with him, and now he's doing this to get back at me.
Connie: Gregg's roommate walked in on you. He saw you two having sex.
Jack: At this point, ten years is a gift.
Molly: But I didn't mean any of it. I loved my mother. Dad, would you tell them?
Douglas: She wouldn't have done any this if it wasn't for that website. Can't Molly testify against B-Frendz for a better deal?
Jack: We understand there were contributing factors, but if that computer was a gun, Molly pulled the trigger.
Molly: No! I can't go to jail.
Jack: Offer's good for 24 hours.
Douglas: She'll take it.
Molly: No, I won't.
Douglas: You're going to listen to me for once in your life.
Molly: So you can bury me in jail?
Douglas: They are going to find you guilty. You'll get 25 years.
Molly: How could you do this to me?
Douglas: Because I'm your father and I know this is what's best for you.
Molly: The best thing for me would've been to have had a father with some balls!
Douglas: Molly, be quiet.
Molly: She wouldn't have screwed around and I wouldn't have had to do something about it!
Douglas: She's going to take the deal. It's decided.
Molly: I'm being tried as an adult. You can't tell me what to do. Just like you couldn't tell Mom to stop screwing around with those losers who were ruining our lives. Maybe Mom was a whore, but you drove her to it.
[Douglas slaps her across the face]
Jack: I think we're through here.
Molly: Damn right we are. I'm not taking any deal and that's final!

Mr. Elliot: I see. She had motive to kill Kovac, because she hired him to kill her husband - and you know she hired him to kill her husband, because she killed Kovac... You're driving in circles, and the jury's gonna be very dizzy.

D.A. Jack McCoy: I hear Pandora's Box slowly creaking open.

Jolene: I thought you said you weren't a cop.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: I lied.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Freedom of the press isn't free, Mr Bailey, but turning over your mailing list won't cost you a cent.
Gerald: I can't believe this: it's extortion.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: It's leverage.

EADA: I'm responsible for my actions, not the color of my skin. And if it makes you feel good to call me a racist, fine. But if you want to know who's really responsible for racism in today's society, take a good look in the mirror.

Detective: The prints matched up with a James Stephen Smith.
[hands file to Van Buren]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Great, thank you.
Detective: Besides battling the forces of evil, what other trouble's he been in?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [reading his file] Only one arrest, for stalking a woman 16 months ago. He pleaded out on harassment two, six months' probation and a 500 dollar fine.
Detective: [sarcastically] I guess if he'd killed her, it would have been 1000 dollars.
Detective: What idiot in the D.A.'s let him off?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [to Kincaid] Say hello, Counselor.

D.A. Arthur Branch: Religious fervor.
Jack: The nitroglycerin of the 21st century.

Francis: I didn't see nothing, I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know nothing.
Lennie: Sort of a Zen thing, huh, Francis? Keep your life clean and simple?
Francis: I don't know.

Eileen: Nobody appreciates what it's like. After you give birth, they all come and visit you. They're all so proud of you. But after a while, they stop coming.

Detective: Lennie, when I grow up I want to be as smart as you.

[discussing a serial killer's defense attorney]
D.A. Arthur Branch: Yeah, who is that stupid S.O.B. anyway?
ADA: Tim Schwimmer, legal aid, and he isn't exactly stupid.
D.A. Arthur Branch: He listened to his client when he told him about fifteen other bodies?
ADA: Yes.
D.A. Arthur Branch: He then confirmed his client was telling the truth by taking a peek at those bodies?
ADA: ...Yes.
D.A. Arthur Branch: Fine. What's dumber than stupid?

Anita: Your man still a ghost?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: If he was still alive, I'd hire him to talk to himself.

Horace: In the eyes of the law, I believe, Mr. Tunney is an innocent person - unless you've already had a trial and convicted him, without inviting me.
Executive: Uh, no, Horace; we wouldn't think of havin' a trial without inviting you.

Reid: [Reid Mullen is the defense lawyer] And when you go there you get high, don't you, sir?
Roland: Yes, I have to. I feel better.
Reid: And you buy the crack with money you won suing the residents of Bedford Street. Isn't that right?
Roland: They harassed me. Oh, they say they're the victims. I'm the victim. He tried to kill me. I may never walk right again.
Reid: You gonna sue them again, Mr. Kirk?
Roland: You better believe it. And I'll get enough crack to last me a lifetime. And every time that son of a bitch comes out of his house he'll see me sitting in my Rolls-Royce wheelchair getting high, and getting in his pudgy little face!
Reid: [Long pause while the jury digests this] No more questions.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: I don't know if they give out gold stars for loyalty in your country, but over here all you get is a set of striped pajamas and the word "schmo" stamped on your forehead.

Dawn: [Cutter and Talley are in Cutter's office] Isn't that the guy with the dogs?
Executive A.D.A. Michael Cutter: Yeah. He's been begging for a deal since day one. Still at it.
Dawn: Yeah? Yeah, I did some research when I covered that story, and I got to tell you, those fighting dogs are different. You know, when two normal dogs meet, even two wolves, one is aggressive and one rolls over, and that's the end of it. Submission signal. The first one is dominant. He stops, fight over. But with these fighting dogs, they don't stop, they keep attacking.
Executive A.D.A. Michael Cutter: Yeah, well, I really don't have time for that guy right now.

Claire: Palley's lawyer called. He wants to talk deal.
Jack: The hell with him. He can do 25 to life.
Adam: So you got the wrong man, then you got the right one.
Jack: One for two. My batting average should be better than that.
Adam: You make big decisions in a hurry. Then you press to hard. It's part of the job.
Jack: With the fringe benefit that from time to time we convict someone who's innocent?
Adam: It could be worse. We could have the death penalty.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Things haven't changed much, have they, sir? Fifty years ago, you protected yourself at the expense of others. Your wife is now dead, and your daughter's gonna go to prison so you can go free.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Downing sniffed out the arrest and took off. He's been spotted in New Jersey.
Jack: The airport?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: At the Eden Motel in Secaucus. Curtis wants us to meet him there.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Route 3, west of the Turnpike.
[Jack and Abbie look surprised that he knows where the motel is]
D.A. Adam Schiff: You can see it from the highway.

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Margaret Sikorsky, 24. OD'd. Death resulted from a lethal combination of high potency cocaine and several prescription drugs. I can get you a copy of this.
Lennie: So how'd she get here?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Same as everbody. She died
Lennie: [sighs Wearily]
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: I thought you of all people would appreciate that.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: I'd like it if you two became real partners.
Detective: And I'd like it if my ex-wives got partners. No more alimony.

John: [Van Buren blindly leafs through the "profile" and listens nominally to John Law] The victim was a closely-supervised teenage female. The offender probably spent a good amount of time observing her and planning his assault. You with me so far?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: He stalked her. I got that.

Arthur: I guess you won't be joining us for the bar association gala tonight.
Jack: I'm hoping for a verdict.
Arthur: You said that two days ago.
Jack: Olson called. They're willing to plead to murder two.
Arthur: Yeah, well, tell him he's got a better chance of catching a bat in a fly trap.
Jack: We might have a hung jury, Arthur.
Arthur: The man made a cynical and heartless decision to murder his wife for money. And the fact that he tried to exploit racial divisions makes it even more heinous.
Jack: I agree.
Arthur: I have faith in this jury. And the good sense of New Yorkers.

Stephanie: I'm telling the truth!
Jack: I guess there's a first time for everything.

Lucas: Hey. It all worked out, huh? I appreciate you keeping up your end of the bargain.
Executive: It was a one-time deal.You commit any crimes moving forward, I will make sure you are prosecuted to the maximum extent of the law.
Lucas: Good doing business with you.

Jack: Congratulations, Paul. You just bullied a judge.
Paul: I'm a bully? I don't have 500 attorneys in my office or a 200 million dollar war chest, the power to investigate and arrest any citizen and a well armed police force to back it up. That's you, Jack. You're the biggest badass on the block.

Executive A.D.A. Benjamin "Ben" Stone: You don't have a problem?
Adam: It's not my problem to have.

Jack: What we watch and how we respond to it is entirely up to us.

Judge: Does the defense wish to make a motion?
Defense: CPL 290.10. The defense moves to set aside the jury's verdict.
Jack: Objection! The prosecution proved its case!
Judge: What case, Mr. McCoy? Have we gone so far down the road of political correctness that sex between willing partners is now called rape? The girl said yes.
Jack: She has the mind of a child!
Judge: Well, she's mature enough to be plenty intrigued by her own sexuality. Face it, Counselor. She had the time of her life. Case dismissed.

Tom: My daughter is not answering any questions.
Detective: With all due respect sir, I'm talking to your daughter, not to you, so please shut up.

Joel: It wasn't rape!
Gifford: Joel, not another word.
Joel: And if it takes a trial to prove that we're innocent, then maybe we have to go through with it.

Mike: If we wish to proceed?
Jack: We try him again, they'll gay-bash again.
Mike: Is there a sucker on every jury?
Jack: It's hard to say. They don't wear a sign.
Mike: So my mea culpa was for nothing.
Jack: I'm sorry.
Mike: Well, at least you didn't arrest me for coercion.
Jack: It's just a Class A misdemeanor.

Dr. Emil Skoda: I talked to your doctors. They say your pain is treatable.
Judge: It's *all* treatable: a catheter, a colostomy bag, a dialysis machine, a wheelchair, physical therapy, a lifetime supply of Demerol... would *you* want to live like that?

Chet: Where I come from, all the men got shotguns in their pickups, and a can of beer in their hands. My shotgun stays in the house, and I drink California Cabernet. But in my heart, I'm still a bubba.

[last lines]
Arthur: No surprise the jury hung.
Jack: I'll try him again.
Arthur: Your problem was too many blue collar jurors. They identified with Kenneth Silva.
Serena: How do you know who the holdouts were?
Arthur: The people who escape jury duty, same people who escape active duty.

Jack: [after Spector has been found guilty] We brought down the rhino, Adam. The system won.
Detective: So how come he's the one doing the celebrating?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Bail continued pending his appeal, which could be two years from now.
D.A. Adam Schiff: That's not why. Don't you people read the business section? As of last night his bond for the stadium is fully subscribed.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: So killing Sanderson gave him enough time to get his finances in order.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Groundbreaking ceremony's next week. I got my invitation this morning.
Jack: A hollow victory, Adam. He'll be watching the games live from his stadium on television, along with his fellow inmates.
D.A. Adam Schiff: He's still got a better seat than Sanderson.

Judge: Let me get this straight. You want me to undo a jury conviction?
Jack: The jury was wrong.
Judge: Did someone commit perjury?
Jack: No.
Judge: Was evidence wrongfully admitted?
Jack: No.
Judge: Did I commit reversible error?
Jack: No, your honor.
Judge: Twelve people sat in the jury box. They listened to the evidence which you so articulately presented over the course of eight days. After that they decided in their heart of hearts that Hank Chappel deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison. Who are we to argue?
Jack: The problem is that Hank Chappel is innocent.
Judge: The problem is that you changed your mind. But you're the prosecutor, not the jury, so what you think doesn't count.
Jack: This is absurd!
Judge: This is the American system of justice, and I believe in it. Don't you?

Gary: If anything, history tells us that the search for explanations for unimaginable tragedy creates scapegoats.

Adam: Get an indictment. Go to trial. Give them what they want.
Jack: I have to convince a jury that Charley Monroe didn't rape Danielle Mason. We're twenty minutes from Howard Beach. A young, black man can't talk to a white girl without getting his brains kicked in by thugs.

Danielle: You turning soft on me, Jack?
Jack: You know I'm a sucker for an execution. I'm just here for the tortellini.

Melissa: I can't believe somebody killed him over a stupid game.
Detective: We're not sure yet that that's why your husband was murdered, Mrs. Donner.
Melissa: But it's a pretty good bet, right? I mean, what other reason could there be? People treated Brendan like he was Osama bin Laden, as if any one of them wouldn't have tried to catch that damn ball.
Ed: Did you take any of those threats more seriously than others? I mean, is there anyone in particular we should be looking at?
Melissa: Just half of New York. Poor Brendan. He was obsessed. He... read every letter, surfed the Internet, uh... watched all the talk shows. I'm telling you something, that game ruined our lives.

E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: No one denies the Brotherhood is dangerous. The issue is whether the defendant was allowed to make an anticipatory strike against one of their members. And hundreds of years of jurisprudence say no.
Rodney: A hundred years ago there was no Brotherhood. How long are you supposed to stand on the tracks with a freight train coming at you?
Trial: Mr. Fallon's argument is a convincing one, Mr. McCoy. This is how the law evolves. The defendant's belief may well have been objectively reasonable under the circumstances. It's pushing the envelope, but I'm going to let the issue go to the jury.

Detective: What'd you find out?
Detective: Could have been a stray bullet.
Detective: Six inches to the right, she'd still be here.
Detective: Six inches to the right and Lincoln would have seen the end of the play.

TV: But I think Jack McCoy definitely lost some points today.
TV: Jerry, it's part of his job to prepare his witnesses. I did it myself when I was a prosecutor.
TV: And I did it when I was a defense attorney, but come on, Ben, it looked like McCoy spoon-fed that guy his answers.
TV: Mr. McCoy didn't do anything wrong or even unusual. The defense just made it seem devious and sleazy.
TV: Yeah.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [switches TV off] Wasn't it great? Who needs a jury? We have commentators. Next time, try the cartoon channel.
Jack: That was the cartoon channel!

Detective: Now we get a warrant.
Sergeant: You want to face this guy without backup?
Detective: I don't want to face this guy without nuclear weapons.

Art: [speaking of the deceased] He had a lot of energy. I, on the other hand, have a wife.
Detective: My condolences.

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: That hurt, Jack.
D.A. Jack McCoy: I warned you.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: You betrayed a confidence.
D.A. Jack McCoy: You went to bat for a woman who shot her husband in cold blood and who would have killed anybody else she found in his office. If I had to betray a confidence to ensure she goes to jail... so be it. These are the rules we live by.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: This isn't your finest hour, Jack.
D.A. Jack McCoy: Nor yours.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: You find the slugs?
CSU: No. Blood over here can't be hers. She might've hit him two out of two. Good shooting.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Fair. Good would be him laying here dead.

Dr. Marshall O'Grady: I'm a dermatologist. Do you have any idea how boring that is? I put a few dollars on a ballgame now and then. Is that a crime?
Lennie: Actually, it is.

Arthur: You got to admit, it's a brand new spin on the time honored defense strategy of beating up on the victim.
Serena: Rems had a very compelling argument. He's a good lawyer, Jack.
Jack: The best that money can buy.
Arthur: Poor victim, rich defendant?
[Jack nods]
Arthur: Well, Lady Justice may be blind, but nobody ever said the old broad was fair.

D.A. Adam Schiff: No, only your most crucial evidence...
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Half the precinct knows who wrote that memo. How can I prove it? She could've let it in.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Judge Larkin? Her politics aren't with you when the law is against you.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: We have to connect the memo to Rhodes.
D.A. Adam Schiff: What about the kid that brought it in? The partner?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: He says he didn't know.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Tell me you believe him.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I put him on the stand, he'll lie. He's scared of what the other cops will think.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Is that what he's scared of?

Neil: Nice coat!
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Thanks! You paid for it!

Max: I'm a Catholic. Maybe it's old-fashioned, but I still believe in sin. Remember sin? Right and wrong? I don't know if it's harps, or pearly gates, but whatever it is, these freaks aren't going to the same place You and I are. OK?
Capt. Donald Cragen: Wow. I can see this is leading to a whole new penalogical outlook: We will only pursue homicides where the vic died in a state of grace.

Paul: Attempted homicide? Those 53 people are homicides. They're dead.
Attorney: He didn't mean to kill anyone, Paul!
Paul: Don't tell me you're even thinking about negligent homicide. Now, look, if he's only a messenger boy, he'd better start naming names or he's going down alone.
Attorney: He says if he goes to prison, the man'll have him killed.
Paul: [as he pins Pescador against the wall] Listen to me, man! You don't go to jail, there's about 500 grieving relatives out there who'd be happy to kill you! You hear what I'm saying?
Cesar: I'll take my chances with them.

Max: [to Stone] You got greedy, they knew it and they set you up.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: What do you say to people who think somebody committed a criminal act, but don't think they're a criminal?
Paul: Easy, a criminal IS someone who commits a criminal act, no matter the reason.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: But up until Roe V. Wade, the abortionists were the criminals. If the law hadn't changed, there wouldn't have been a bombing.
Paul: If the law hadn't changed, I would've been a slave. You can't turn back the clock.

Clint: Remind us how long you've been a detective.
Detective: Eight months.
Clint: Eight short months. Detective Cassady, two days... two days before you arrested Senator Bailey, you lashed out at him in an interview, isn't that right?
Detective: I did not lash out. I... responded to him calling me a pissy bitch.
Clint: You responded by losing your cool to the point that your superior officer removed you from the room.
Detective: My lieutenant asked me to leave when Mr. Bailey started ranting and breaking furniture and had to be restrained by three police officers.
Clint: But it must have been humiliating, wasn't it? To be given a time-out by your boss?
Detective: No.
Clint: No? You wanted to get back at my client, didn't you? And you got that chance two days later when you found him defending his life. That's when you decided to frame him for murder.
Detective: Mr. Glover, if I really had it in for your client, I could have dropped him with a justifiable shooting when I found him stabbing his own daughter to death. But I didn't, because I exercised the control I learned in my training. That control is why your client is alive today.

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [after Schiff has told her to take a plea bargain to save money] Three people are dead, and you're counting pennies?
D.A. Adam Schiff: I can count bodies as well as pennies. You're not using this office to make up for your mistake.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [irate] My mistake was following your lead, Mr Schiff! I cut a deal the way you like them: quick, cheap, and out the door!
D.A. Adam Schiff: You're off this case, as of now.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Adam!
D.A. Adam Schiff: She can do other cases; she can take a cruise; she can plant a garden; I couldn't care less!

[last lines]
[Arthur Gold has just lost a case to Stone]
Arthur: Call me for lunch.
[Gold drives away]
ADA: You'd really eat lunch with him?
EADA: Only if he orders 'crow'.

Detective: [about human remains dug up] Got a name?
Detective: How about Uncle Fester?

Bill: [being arrested during a board meeting of a meat company] I want my attorney!
Detective: You want fries with that?

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: No signs of struggle, no drugs, no alcohol.
Lennie: [sarcastic] Gee, Rodgers, I'm really glad you called us,.
Ed: At least tell us he ate something exotic.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Does coffee count?
[holding up a bullet]
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: How's this for exotic?
Ed: That's a bullet. It comes from a gun.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Well, not from any gun I've ever seen. Ran it past Ballistics, and it turns out it comes from something called a 7.63 Mauser.
Lennie: Weapon of choice for the Nazis.
Ed: Still doesn't help.
Lennie: Well, it does if Lonnie Jackson is a collector.
Ed: And if we had the slightest clue as to where to look for it.
Lennie: Nice thing about a neighborhood is everybody knows everything about everybody else.

Arraignment: Life is beautiful. All God's children are innocent.

Olivia: [searching April and Lorraine's hotel room, Benson leaves to search another room] Hey, Green.
Detective: Yeah?
Olivia: What caliber was the gun used to shoot Sullivan?
Detective: It was a .38.
Olivia: [returning with a gun on the end of her pen] Kind of like this one?

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: You ever hear about the seven stages of grief?
Det. Mike Logan: No
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: The first one's denial

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Briscoe said the adults are so enlightened they make his teeth hurt.

[At the scene of a double homicide]
Detective: I knew being Chief of Detectives had its benefits. I didn't know they included a table at Raimondo's.
Detective: I hear the food here is really good.
Detective: Oh, it's to die for.

Jack: Get off your soapbox, Sally, you're blocking the view!

Aaron: You know, New York still requires its, uh, parties to state grounds with, uh, specificity. "I hate your guts" isn't good enough. But it makes for, uh, creative lawyering. On nine out of ten, I go for "cruel and inhuman"; you know, it's easier to, uh, to fudge. "He kicks my dog!" "She burns my toast!" Barbaric, but it's very good for business.

Detective: Which side of the street do you want?
Detective: The shady side.

Jack: Lindsay Starr didn't deserve to die. She was no longer a soldier. She worked in a supermarket. She was lured into a deserted office and ambushed. And while Nadira Harrington's misfortunes might explain her actions, they can't excuse cold-blooded retribution for the abuse of her brother. If Corporal Starr's conduct at Abu Ghraib exceeded military or international standards, we have, in our civil society, procedures to redress those wrongs, if wrongs they be. Yes, the processes are slow, messy, uneven, but Nadira Harrington had choices; to vote, to sue, to advocate for justice. Instead she opted for blood feud, and the end product of blood feud is chaos. Our history books are rife with examples of religious zealots of all stripes - Christians, Muslims, Jews - twisting their faith's fundamental morality to accommodate a personal, or political, agenda. Neither rationale justifies killing. The highest moral law in our culture is "Thou shalt not kill". And where we live, killing in the name of God, country, or brother, is still called murder.

Mike: Who's the birthday boy? He looks familiar.
Sheila: I like cops, when they're *off* duty.
Mike: [to Max] Was it that obvious?
Max: Do you ever get offered undercover assignments?

Detective: [reading internet chat logs] "Hot rod" says he's 38, rich, drives a Porsche, and he's well-endowed.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: And he couldn't get a real date?

Detective: A guy doesn't take Viagra just to have fun with himself. So they tell me.

Detective: [finding Fallon bound and gagged in a motel room closet] Mr. Fallon, it looks like you put up a hell of a fight.
Ed: Where's your client? And the first words out of your mouth better not be "privileged".
Rodney: [Green undoes his gag] He's not here.
Ed: I can see that. So where is he?
Rodney: You said you weren't going to interfere.
Detective: You said you were gonna bring Grimes in. Looks like we both failed on our promises.
Rodney: Well, I tried to convince him to surrender himself to the authorities for his own good, but he was in no mood to go back to prison.
Ed: How long has he been gone?
Rodney: About ten minutes.
Ed: Did he say where he was going?
Detective: And don't forget what we said about that word "privilege".
Rodney: He took my wallet. Said he needed to get to his cousin's in Providence.

Rey: When was the last time we had a coffee break?
Detective: August of '96?

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: They're putting Stephanie on the stand.
D.A. Adam Schiff: To explain everything away.
Jack: Let her try.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah, you're going to be the first man to get the better of her.

Victor: Watch it! I got very sensitive skin.
Rey: Get over there.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Ah! What's this? Green cards, one for everybody in the Third World.
Victor: I didn't get a good look at those badges. You INS?
Rey: We're homicide, Mr. Driscoll.
Victor: Whoa, whoa! I am not a violent man. Check my sheet. Ask around the neighborhood. I'm an artist. I make documents.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Well, this document is a straight shot between you and a dead woman, see?
Victor: What are you talking about?
Rey: [Shows green card] Is that yours?
Victor: I say yes, I'm admitting to a crime.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Say no, see what happens.
Victor: Okay, okay. Sure, it's one of mine. I sold it three days ago to some no-name Latin kid.
Rey: [Shows picture] This Latin kid?
Victor: Pretty close. He gave me the right references and 500 bucks.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: He just walked in off the street?
Victor: I'm known in the community. I make a quality product!

[last lines]
ADA: She killed two men - still believes they're the bad guys.
Executive: They interfered with her cash flow.
ADA: No - it wasn't about money.
Executive: Maybe it wasn't the motive, but it was her cue for passion.

Michael: If you were planning on demolishing one of our witnesses, you might have, you know, mentioned it to me.
Connie: Well, sometimes the only way to get your attention is to actually do something.
Michael: You got that stuff from Lupo?
[Connie nods]
Michael: Okay. So we forget this witness. But that doesn't mean this isn't murder.
Connie: Even if Bunny was facing Green?
Michael: Even if Bunny fired first, if Green wanted him to.
Connie: Wanted somebody to shoot at him?
Michael: Well, what if he did? He knew Bunny was gonna be arrested, and he didn't want him opening his mouth about their history. So Green ditches his partner, goes after the guy without backup, which makes it more likely that a hothead like Bunny will draw his gun. It's dark, Bunny's caught by surprise, and he's not a marksman, but Green is and he's ready. So on the surface, it's self-defense, but Green's intent makes it murder.
Connie: That's arguable.
Michael: Well, I'm pretty good at arguing. That's how I got this job.

Cyrus: I got hair and blood on what's left of the champagne bottle.
Asst. M.E. Wong: Cause of death looks like acute cerebral hemorrhaging from a blow to the head between midnight and 3:00 this morning.
Ed: That's a lot of blood.
Asst. M.E. Wong: Yeah. It looks like our perp whacked him at least three or four times.
Ed: [finding a travel ticket] It's Burns' Amtrak ticket.
Cyrus: [searching the victim's pocket] ATM receipt. He took out $800 at 11:07 p.m. from the CitiBank around the corner. What's he need 800 bucks that late at night for?

Anita: [Discussing possible caustic cancer treatments with her doctor, after a failed initial treatment] The nausea I can handle, dying not so much. So bring it on, doctor.

Ed: [seeing Lupo outside Van Buren's office] He's been wearing down the linoleum for the last couple hours.
Anita: [shutting the door] Now, I talked to his boss at Intel; Lupo broke some big cases in some very unfriendly corners of the world, and he did it with no backup, no warrants, no weapon.
Ed: You makin' a sales pitch?
Anita: We got a second assisted sucide with a victim he's not related to. It wouldn't be policy violation for him to work that case.

Detective: When you were a kid, did you ever call your old man by his first name?
Detective: Not unless I wanted to smell the Aqua Velva on the back of his hand.

Detective: Where were you headed when you left the restaurant?
P.K. Todd: I told you, Marty said he wanted to walk.
Detective: Marty had to run to catch up to you. Where were you going?
P.K. Todd: All right, he was boring me stiff. I just wanted to get rid of him. I knew he was on his way uptown, so I walked downtown. Didn't work. He followed me.
Detective: You know that means you were the target and not him.
P.K. Todd: I told you that the first time I talked to you. Who in the world do you think would waste bullets on a nobody like Marty Haas?

Det. Mike Logan: That really frosts my cookies!

Sophie: [referring to Peterson] He's a friend of mine too.
Detective: Does he make you laugh?
Sophie: [flirtatiously] Detective, I believe you're trying to make me laugh!

Detective: [referring to Aaron Downing] Killing his kid? I don't believe it.
Jack: You don't have to believe it; just prove it!

Jack: [about Michelle refusing to testify against Wyatt Landon] Landon is the devil she knows.
Michael: He'll annihilate her.
Connie: She's doing this for her kids.
Michael: We can't let her.
Jack: Yes, we can. This may be the last decision she makes of her own free will and we'll honor it. We have Caleb Friendly's murderer. Dismiss the charges against Wyatt Landon and his co-defendants. It's over.

Jack: [referring to David Moore and his wife] If she's incapacitated for any reason, he gets power of attorney.
Abbie: Which means, as long as she's alive, he has access to her money.
D.A. Adam Schiff: He gave her just enough insulin to put her into a coma. Talk about threading a needle.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [last lines] This kid falls in love with a girl he has no chance in the world to get.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: And in a stupid, hopeless attempt to impress her, he shows her a million dollars worth of cocaine.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah, I guess etchings don't work anymore.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: And as a result he ends up having to kill her.
D.A. Adam Schiff: A story for Sophocles.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Or Larry, Moe and Curley.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah. I always loved those guys.

Connie: We're putting you on first to give the bare bones of the case.
Kevin: It's not going to be much of a trial, is it? He has no defense.
Connie: Well, his lawyer's going for a verdict of manslaughter instead of murder, on the grounds that Stokes acted in a state of extreme emotional disturbance.
Kevin: So he could get out in ten to twenty years? Why didn't you just allow him to go the feds? He doesn't deserve to go on living, no matter how disturbed he is.
Connie: Detective, when I heard Stokes was arrested, you were the one who gave him CPR, who saved his life. Why, if you wanted him dead?
Kevin: I'm a cop. I'm not the executioner.
Connie: Neither am I.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Was this boy wearing the jacket or wasn't he?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: We'll find out.
Jack: We might've found out already if we didn't have to keep popping in here every hour to report.
D.A. Adam Schiff: You'll report here whenever I tell you to.

Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Unrealistic expectations, Judge. They create enormous pressures. Who can argue that pressure doesn't mitigate a defendant's mes rea? I can't.
[to Jack]
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Can you? And as we all learned in first year crim, a lesser degree of culpability is the essential difference between murder and manslaughter, which in turn is the difference between a defendant dying in prison and getting out in time to dance at his daughter's wedding, God willing.
Judge: Offer him man one, Mr. McCoy. Save us all the migraine.
Jack: Out of the question.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: It's your head.
Judge: Well, defense is certainly entitled to argue...
Jack: You can't.
Judge: I just did.

Det. Ed Green: APB went out quick. If the carjacker's got two gunshot wounds, how far can he get? I'm feeling lucky.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Last time I got lucky was 1986.
Det. Ed Green: It's all in the attitude, Lennie.

Ed: We're really here to talk to Dr. Allison.
Dr. Matthew Allison: And you got what you came for.
Ed: Uh, Dr. Bethany Allison.
Dr. Matthew Allison: My wife. We're a two doctor household. It's not that unusual.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: When will your wife be home?
Dr. Matthew Allison: She won't. Not soon. We're separated.
Ed: Oh. So which one of the two of you invested in the Arizona shopping center that went sour?
Dr. Matthew Allison: That would be both of us. One thing they don't teach you in medical school is what to do with the money you make.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: What about losing it? Say, half a million dollars worth.
Dr. Matthew Allison: That, they covered. Lots of Xanax.

Detective: They're after a good cop.
Mulvehill: We're all good cops. Even the dirty ones.

Detective: Who wanted the reporter dead, Marty, and why?
Marty: I want protection in the joint.
Detective: We'll take care of the Caputos.
Marty: Caputos? What've they got to do with this?
Detective: This isn't about the windows?
Marty: What kind of windows? The guy that gave me the button said it had to do with an election.
Detective: What election?
Marty: [Scoffs] I don't vote.

DA: Opportunity and risks come in pairs. If you think DeLuca was the most responsible, set your sights on him

Governor: Jack, we need to talk. I just got served a subpoena signed by Michael Cutter.
Jack: I know. I told him to do it.
Governor: You told him? What the hell were you doing?
Jack: Helping to convict a murderer. You have maybe ten days before this goes public. Now go home to your family...
Governor: My family's none of your business. My personal life is not anybody's business.
[Jack tries to enter his apartment]
Governor: You worry, Jack. You worry how you're going to get elected without me. It's thanks to me you have this job in the first place. Nobody wanted you.
Jack: I'd rather be an unemployed lawyer than a well-fed pet.

Detective: What are you against, abortions or sex?
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: Abortions! I like sex.

Ben: Adam, if you were a defense attorney, and a prosecutor came to you with evidence that tended to prove that your client was innocent, what would you do?
Adam: I'd celebrate up and down Center Street, and then move to set aside the plea.
Ben: Until we withdrew the charges, there wasn't a peep out of Miss Knight.
Adam: If we took the license of every incompetent lawyer in the city, we wouldn't have to recycle the New York Times.

[a paroled ex-con has been murdered]
Det. Joe Fontana: I love a public service homicide, don't you?

Arthur: Prior to this trial, sir, had you ever heard of the All-Atlantic Insurance Company?
Mr. Radsenhauer: No.
Arthur: Then your father didn't buy a policy from them, did he?
Mr. Radsenhauer: He bought from Federali.
Arthur: So you would have not made a claim against the All-Atlantic Insurance Company, because you had no reason to believe that they owed you any money, is that right?
Jack: Objection, the question calls for a legal conclusion.
Arthur: Judge, it is the People's theory that my clients stole a book to prevent this man and others like him from claiming their insurance. I'd like a chance to find out whether he thinks my clients owed him any money in the first place.
Judge: Do you think these men owe you anything, Mr. Radsenhauer?
Mr. Radsenhauer: I think, these men should close their eyes, and see my sister. See her as the little girl she once was... and as the woman she *should* have been. Then I want them to open their eyes, and tell me if they think they owe me anything.

Executive A.D.A. Benjamin "Ben" Stone: You know the difference between Auster and a serial killer?
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The weapon.

Lieutenant: I don't like unsolved mysteries. So before we hand it over to Robert Stack...

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [after hearing Sawyer confess to killing Franklin] Why? What did Franklin ever do to you?
Alan: He was a knight templar. He was 600 years old. He told me he was trying to kill me.
Detective: Who said that?
Alan: King Philip and Pope Clement.

Detective: [to Lisa Lundquist] got to do whatever it takes to get back with her and the kids.
Lisa: So that's a "no" on the job offer. And on me.
Detective: You know what's going on.
Lisa: Well, at least you didn't turn out to be gay. I called Jack McCoy and told him I want to testify.
Detective: About what? All the times we almost had sex?

Professor: [Referring to his affair with the victim] It wasn't grand passion, just wine at lunch, you know?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: I don't drink at lunch.
Professor: And I don't kiss and tell.

Judge: This is a difficult decision. It brings the rights of the individual to head-on conflict with legitimate governmental requirements. However, I'm inclined to grant the people's limited request.
Cesar: What?
[gets out of his seat]
Cesar: This is worse than Castro, man!
[Everybody in the courtroom goes berserk as Judge Waxman continuously bangs his gavel]
Cesar: You can't cut my leg without my say-so! I'm not going to no hospital! I'm not going to no hospital!
Judge: All of you, sit down! Quiet in this courtroom! Quiet! I said quiet or I'll clear the court!
[bangs his gavel again]
Judge: Excuse me!
[bangs the gavel again, silencing the crowd]
Judge: Excuse me, Mr. Pescador. We can and will. Now, sit down!
[Pescador sits back down in his seat]
Judge: The defendant will submit forthwith to the surgical procedure which shall be conducted in the manner consistent with this court's written ruling.

Julia: I went into the bathroom. When I came out, he was naked. He threw me down on the bed, pulled up my skirt, tore my underwear off. You know what happens. You're helpless. You just shut your eyes and want it to be over.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [pause] Julia, I'm gonna get a cup of coffee. You need anything?
[Julia shakes her head; Van Buren leaves the room]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Okay, give her a ride home.
Det. Mike Logan: We dropping it?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: No.
Det. Mike Logan: What, did she slip you a note in code?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: "Shut your eyes and want it to be over"? That girl was raped.

Jack: [watching a music video of J-Train's] Maybe it's generational, Connie, but this is incomprehensible to me.
A.D.A. Connie Rubirosa: It's incomprehensible to anyone without a lobotomy.

Cobb: Your Honor, if it pleases the court...
Judge: Mr. Cobb, you couldn't please this court if you danced an Irish jig on your fingertips.

A.D.A. Samantha Maroun: Tom McDaniel had himself appointed Lucy's legal guardian to control her life and her finances, he paid himself a $10 million salary.

ADA: He'll be protected.
Horace: The only way to assure that is to drop your opposition to my motion for bail.
Executive: Then he'd be safe, but nobody else would.
Horace: If he's your killer! I've seen stronger evidence that Eisenhower was a communist!

Captain: Lowenstein was a coked-out crazy creep. He used Carla as a punching bag for years. Bruises, broken bones. By the time we got there, her jaw was so swollen, she couldn't talk.
Detective: What about the little girl?
Captain: She was black, blue, and burned. When I'm having a bad night, this is the one that comes back and haunts me.
Detective: His P.O. said he had a son?
Captain: Ezra. Two years old. Malnourished, neglected. Spent most of his time tied to the radiator like a dog.
Det. Joe Fontana: Parole officer also said that he's living on Long Island.
Captain: I'll get you a name and address. He was doing well last I heard.
Detective: Happy ending, considering.
Captain: Speaking of happy endings, how's Lowenstein?
Det. Joe Fontana: Well, he's still on the critical list.
Captain: I hope he lingers a long time in excruciating pain.

Det. Ed Green: You sure this is kosher? Because we got a search warrant for body parts.
A.D.A. Connie Rubirosa: So, look for body parts. Start with Carlin's day planner.
Det. Ed Green: No fingers between the pages.

Detective: [taking Martha's shoes to check for blood] Don't worry, we're going to return them.
Martha: After you ruin them.
Detective: Hey lady, we're not going to be wearing them.

Clarissa: Mr and Mrs Preston have like
[pauses]
Clarissa: martial issues.

Executive: His competency is not in question. Besides, it's irrelevant. Miranda isn't retroactive; it's not grounds for appeal for every felon convicted before then.
Teri: I'm not talking about every felon - I'm talking about a case where there's the possibility of a conflict of interest. The confession was never challenged.
Executive: Then challenge it under the laws as they existed in 1965. I've read them, your honor - I bet even Clarence Darrow couldn't get this confession suppressed.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Turns out Sonja Harlann was Lancer's kid. She gets her 50 million dollars.
Jack: [sheepishly] Good for her.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: And Silverman collects his 17 million dollar fee. No wonder everybody hates the legal profession.
Jack: [pause] Make sure Douglas Burke gets a full transcript of Sonja Harland's allocution. This way there'll be something to collect when he sues her and Mr Silverman for his mother's wrongful death.
D.A. Adam Schiff: [wryly] Lawyers!
[sighs]
D.A. Adam Schiff: [fade to closing titles]

Paul: So what's the story? What's with this pro se nonsense?
Simon: [loftily] I want my day in court, to show what that bastard did to us.
Paul: But you didn't kill McFadden.
Simon: Nope. But I'd make a hell of a scapegoat. Me and my big mouth.

Detective: Love: a devastating disease instantly cured by marriage.

D.A. Arthur Branch: This office has tried a couple of murder cases without a body, though I wouldn't necessarily recommend it.

[after he kills the man who molested his son]
Sid: Somebody shot an animal. Call a vet.

Detective: That's it? Two dead and one shot, and they walk?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Sheridan could have surrendered. It was his choice how this was going to play out, not Granada and Difka's.
Detective: They had to go in with shotguns?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Against an armed felon who killed his brother-in-law, who was ready to kill them. How much firepower would you have walked in with, Rey?

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Guess what? A psycho did do it.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [in disgust to Det. Ed Green] Ed, I sold my plantation over a century ago.

Jack: They're outlaws! I'm going to check on their weapon permits. I don't care if they forgot the period after their middle initial; I'm having their permits yanked.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: Well, when you do find the girls, I want you to add a charge of felony bad taste. Wearing white after Labor Day?

Elizabeth: [about Priscilla] But I loved her. She was my life!
Ben: No, she was your daughter. She had a life of her own.

Eddie: I'm not into that rough stuff any more. I got my medication.
Detective: You taking it?
Eddie: Hell, yeah. You can check with my clinic.
Detective: Then why are you chasing hookers down 14th Street?
Eddie: C'mon, man. It's springtime.

[Opening narration]
Narrator: In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [looking at a hospital sign that says "Pediatric Oncology"] *There's* two words that should never go together.

EADA: In a perfect world, we wouldn't have discovery. We wouldn't have pre-trial motions. Just go to trial and let the chips fall where they may.
Adam: In a perfect world, people wouldn't get shot in a parking lot.

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Lieutenant Cooper took seven blunt-force hits to the face. But the blow that did him in was the impact with the floor. All in all, I estimate twelve minutes start to finish.
Cyrus: Not exactly in a hurry.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Mrs. Cooper was raped vaginally. Rape kit showed no seminal fluids, but there was Octyl-9. It's a condom lubricant.
Kevin: Strangulation?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Yeah, repeated. Her assailant squeezed her windpipe, probably to the point of unconsciousness, then he'd release.
Cyrus: Stop and go. The same pattern as the husband. He was trying to get something out of them.

[last lines]
Jack: I gather things weren't looking so good when your star witness tried to murder the defense attorney.
Michael: Well, we recovered. I let the jury see how much Felner hated his wife, and then... he fell into the old pink handcuff trap.
Jack: Just like Mr. Di Napoli used to, I imagine.
Connie: [entering] The widow sent me a, uh, thank you gift for helping to convict her husband's killer.
Jack: Diamond studs?
Connie: It's her husband.

Helen: Samantha Savage was a home video hooker who couldn't write a sentence if you spotted her the noun and the verb.

Lennie: So what kind of a job rates a private office in the NYPD?
Detective: [bragging] Liaison between the community relations officers and the deputy chief of administration.
Lennie: Yeah, well, since you're obviously too busy to pursue this old murder case, maybe you could at least tell us where we could find Morelli?
Detective: Try Hell. He's dead.

Clarence: Could I say something first? I just wanted to tell you that if smack were legal, see, I wouldn't have to be robbing nobody cause I would buy it in a store, and it would probably only be like a dollar a hit.
Lennie: That's a very nice vision of the future, Clarence. Now, will you tell us where you got the gun?

[Trying to keep a suspect from escaping through a window]
Det. Ed Green: Rock, paper, scissors, gun.

Anita: [about Krolinsky] There's people like him in every neighborhood. Could be the Little League coach, your kid's favorite teacher. It's too bad they don't glow in the dark.

Adam: You want to ask 12 people off the street to decide that human embryos are property like this lamp?
Jack: Well what are they, people?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: They're not property. You can sell property, but it's illegal to sell embryos.
Jack: It's legal to destroy property. Women have the right to abort fetuses, which are a hell of a lot more developed than those embryos.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: This is the kind of thing we don't want to get into. You want to argue abortion rights?
Jack: You want to argue against abortion rights?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Any woman with a *brain* ought to be able to figure out a better method of birth control.

Mrs. Cleary: My father started this company.
Roger: Your father fixed toasters! He worked for *me*!
Steven: [all of them facing charges for murder] That's right, Dad, he worked for you, just like we all did... look where it's got us.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Who would you ask if you needed a hitman?
Detective: [jokingly referring to Briscoe] I'd find an old cop, preferably one with a lot of alimony.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: How do you wash it off, Jack?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Wish I knew.

Detective: [seeing Hellman in the men's room] You get off on that, Judge? Humiliating innocent people?
Judge: Are you upset because your corroborating witness is a liar and a slut?
Detective: You sick son of a bitch!
[approaches: is restrained by Hellman's aides]
Judge: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Detective: You and Flynn deserve each other. I hope you both rot in hell.
[walks out]

Detective: How do you tell someone somebody wants them dead?
Detective: Quickly?

Mr. Green: The good News? The Nazis were methodical, bordering on anal. They kept specific records of everything. The bad news is they were almost as methodical at destroying the records.

James: [to Kincaid, at arraignment] Hey, dark eyes! I remember you!

Kenneth: Grimes killed Julie Sayer. He admitted it. And because I screwed up, he was gonna walk. That's a mistake I couldn't live with, and I'm not gonna apologize for fixing it!
Serena: If you don't, he may walk on Julie's murder a second time.
Jack: If the jury sees you as some kind of a vigilante with no qualms about framing someone or planting evidence, they won't listen to a word you say!

Detective: We had our guy - Munoz. The sick sonofabitch followed her from work in his car; picked on her because she was wearing a white dress. Figured she was canned goods.
Detective: You said she was coming home from work - but we got it she went to a movie.
Detective: Oh, no - she was workin' under the table at the Franklin Pub. On account of her probation, she was supposed to keep out of the place.
Detective: Probation for what?
Detective: Gambling. We didn't release that... out of respect for the victim.
Detective: What else didn't make it into your report?
Detective: [pointedly] It had nothin' to do with the case.
Detective: She gambled, Farina collected for gamblers - there's gambling all over the place, except in your report.
Detective: Munoz did it! He confessed to it - and two rapes besides.
Detective: Right after a trip to the West End Grill?
Detective: [furious] ... Munoz was a righteous bust!... So to hell with ya!
[Landis gets up and leaves angrily]
Detective: ...OK, I'll bite - what's the West End Grill?
Detective: Oh, the docks on the West Side. Back in the '60s, they used to take guys like Munoz out there, and see how far they could swim - after they beat the hell out of them... or so I heard.

Trial: If I were you, I'd take another look at your scales. We don't punish people for crimes they haven't committed *yet*.

Jack: So we know Grimes wasn't the choir boy his lawyer's been saying he was, but we can't prove it?
Serena: That's what it looks like.
Jack: What about the knife? The one found at Grimes' apartment.
Serena: DNA confirmed that the blood on it wasn't Leanne Testa's.
Jack: But it was someone's. Let's see if we can find out whose.
Serena: I'll have Briscoe and Green contact the primary on the Testa case.

Eddie: I'll tell you a little secret: the key to being a successful director is communicating with as few people as possible.

Michael: [Disgutedly] Women.

Detective: [to Lupo when he offers to give Emma Kim a ride home] What's this, Lupo dial-a-ride?
Detective: What's the big deal?
Detective: Other than the fact that it's 90 blocks in the wrong direction, I've got plans and you know what else, I don't think she's gonna mind.

[phone rings, Rodgers answers]
Medical: Rodgers.
[pause; she hands the phone to Green]
Medical: Your lieutenant.
[Green looks at the receiver but won't touch it]
Det. Ed Green: What's that on the receiver? Brains?
Medical: Egg salad, maybe.
Det. Ed Green: You got another phone?

Larry: I heard some kid accused Monty of inappropriate behavior.
Detective: What, using the wrong fork?
Larry: I don't think Monty would shell out seven figures for that.

[last lines]
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Police found the other two girls. Killed the same way as Anneke Ullman.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Know who they were?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Two runaways from Indiana.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: We'll use it Peter Williams' sentencing.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: What about Laura Kendrick?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Parole board will hear about it twenty-five years from now.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: How do you wash it off, Jack?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: I wish I knew.

Detective: [arriving at crime scene] Victim: Mister Wickets. You got a first name?
Susan: His first name IS Mister. He's a horse.

A.D.A. Paul Robinette: We gave him immunity as quid pro quo for his testimony. He lied. That's got to break the deal, common sense!
D.A. Adam Schiff: Common sense has nothing to do with it. A man waives his Fifth Amendment rights by testifying.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Whether he tells the truth or not!
D.A. Adam Schiff: It doesn't matter, he's entitled to immunity. Do you think he killed his brother?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: No, I think he's protecting someone.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Uh huh. Alright, then we threaten him with perjury. The idea of four years in Attica should scare the hell out of him. He'll talk.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The alternative might scare him a lot more. I don't think he's protecting a friend. The man's scared.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Well I can't say that I blame him. He saw what happened to his brother.
D.A. Adam Schiff: A man is desperate enough to steal from his own family? Subpoena his personal records and find out who he owes money to.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Adam, banks kill with a thousand cuts, not with a whack on the head.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Some lenders are in a bigger hurry. Ezra dies, Isaac gets the business. It's a very good way to ensure prompt payment.

D.A. Adam Schiff: You're using the authority of this office like a foot on the neck.
Jack: We've done that before.
D.A. Adam Schiff: We usually have one leg to stand on.

[Fontana and Green are questioning the bartender in an obviously mobbed up "social club"]
Detective: If you don't talk, I'm sure Granados will.
Ivan: I thought you don't know where he is.
Detective: Oh, we're gonna find him. Doctors say in his condition he ain't gonna get that far.
Detective: [leans in close and whispers] You know what I've got here, tovarisch? Huh? In about ten seconds, I'm gonna start smilin' like a village idiot and peelin' off hundred dollar bills onto your shiny brass bar.
Ivan: What are you talkin' about?
Detective: And then my partner here is gonna start droppin' "thank yous" and "tell us more" like there's no tomorrow.
Detective: Which means, if your friends back there ain't deaf, dumb, and blind, you're gonna have a little trouble.
Ivan: Don't... I don't know why he was here. I put him on books as favor.
Detective: A favor to who? Andropov?
[the bartender is very reluctant to answer]
Detective: Where's Granados?
Detective: Here comes the first C-note. Is there anything you'd like us to tell your widow?
Ivan: I'll tell you what I know. There is this doctor...

Sgt. Phil Cerreta: Some alibi: "I'm not an arsonist, I'm an extortionist."

Bill: Plagiarism isn't larceny.
Ben: Well, I'll let a jury decide that. But don't think I won't show that jury every detail of Professor Manning's deceit.
Edward: Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't a charge of larceny presuppose that the thing allegedly stolen have value? Weiss's idea was flawed, amateurish and worthless; that's why I rejected his proposal. No serious physicist would have wasted an hour on it.
Ben: That's awfully convenient for you to say that, sir.
Edward: Yes, quite convenient. I'll be happy to testify about this at length. I'm the leading authority in the field. Ask anyone.

Dr. Emil Skoda: You sure there was there no connection between Clayman and the dead girl?
Detective: Just the connection of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Dr. Emil Skoda: He's not your man.
Detective: Mind sharing how you know that?
Dr. Emil Skoda: The killer knew her. Draped a scarf over her face; wanted her to preserve some dignity.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Dignity.
Dr. Emil Skoda: [shrugs] Best he could do under the circumstances.
Detective: Like that carjacking a couple years ago.
Detective: Then why cut her up?
Dr. Emil Skoda: Make it look like a lunatic had done it. See these cuts? They're hesitation marks. He was having a hard time at first, got bolder as he went along.
Detective: So you're saying he staged the whole thing?
[Skoda gives a shrugging nod]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Do you think Eddie Clayman could have put all this on to throw us off the track?
Dr. Emil Skoda: I think you've got the wrong guy.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Hold Clayman on a parole violation 'till we sort all this out.
Dr. Emil Skoda: Whoever killed Sarah Kincaid knew her, and cared about her. Have you talked with her boyfriend?
Detective: Her father said that she wasn't seeing anybody regularly.
Dr. Emil Skoda: She was pregnant.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: So she did something with somebody nine weeks ago.

Detective: Forensics says the latents in Rovelli's hotel room aren't even close to Maas's.
Detective: Tell you what: Kellogg can write. Listen to this. "I imagine Maas sitting wherever he was, in some coffee shop in Houston, some gas station in Tampa, the tic over his left eye starting to flutter uncontrollably as he started to bare his soul."
Detective: So did he cop to raping the girls?
Detective: Claims that they were after his money from the get-go.
Detective: A rich rapist claiming frame. That's original.
Detective: You know what bothers me?
Detective: Besides the Mets?
Detective: I read all of these articles, the police reports, the witness depositions. Not one of them mentions a tic fluttering over Maas's eye.
Detective: Poetic license.
Detective: Maybe. Or Kellogg met with him face to face.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Well, you got an innocent man to confess to a crime he didn't commit. Maybe this job's getting too easy for you.

Judge: As eloquent as your counsel was in your behalf, you are not the victim here, Mrs. Lowenstein. The victim was an innocent 6-year-old girl, who couldn't defend herself. On the count of manslaughter in the first degree, the court sentences you to 7-to-10 years in a women's correctional facility.
[to Dr. Lowenstein]
Judge: As for you, sir, from this seat, I thought I had witnessed every degradation, every monstrosity possible, but you, Doctor, are beyond contempt. You have helped a woman destroy herself. You engineered the tragedy of a little girl's death, but you took pretty good care of yourself, didn't you?
Dr. Jacob Lowenstein: Your Honor, I've lost my family.
Judge: Yes, you have. Jacob Lowenstein, having been found guilty of murder in the second degree by depraved indifference to human life, this court sentences you to 25 years to life in a state penitentiary.

Detective: Where's your partner?
Officer: Lincoln Hospital. The paramedics couldn't pry the dog from his butt.
Detective: What kind of dog?
Officer: Chihuahua.
Detective: Let me know how they word the commendation.

Detective: [taking pill bottles out of Pawl's coat] What is this?
James: For headaches.
Detective: Lot of headaches for a pinhead.

Detective: Boy, would I like to do this the old-fashioned way. 15 minutes with Jacobs, I guarantee you, we'd have that kid.
Detective: If it comes to that, you're gonna have to get in line behind me.

Mike: [interviewing Astria in the hospital] Astria, can you open your eyes?
[she shakes her head]
Mike: I think you *can*, if you *try*.

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Well, from comparative blood tests, chemoanalysis of muscle tissue, and urinalysis, both victims died from the same cause.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Which was?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Cyanide poisoning. Potassium cyanide, to be precise.
Ed: I didn't know there were different flavors.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Oh, sure. There's hydrogen cyanide, sodium cyanide, potassium cyanide.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, we get the picture.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: The good news is the end came quickly for both Blake and Rocky the squirrel.
Ed: How can you tell?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: The large blood concentration would cause immediate loss of consciousness, followed quickly by death. If you got to go, it's not a bad way.

[a woman is trying to convince a cop and his partner to raid an apartment for drugs]
Fowler: We had surveillance on the building, ma'am. We can't go busting in to apartments without probable cause.
Woman: [to a junkie on the stoop] Where you get your drugs, sucker?
Junkie: Ain't nobody home.
Woman: Yeah, inside you. Where?
Junkie: 1-D, in the front.
O'Brien: Is he probable cause?
Fowler: Yep.

Richard: Why would I kill my friend over three percent of my net worth?
Detective: Leverage, Peterson. It was collateral for part of one loan for the airline, that was part of your transportation holding company, which was financed up to your eyebrows. So, you pull out one brick from that wall, it comes crashing down, you gotta go back to collecting Lincoln pennies.
Richard: [dismissively] Rey, Rey, Rey, Rey! Do me a favor: go to business school for a couple of years before you explain my financing to me, OK?
Detective: [to Van Buren, who has summoned him to leave the interrogation room] I can't talk right now: I have to go to business school.

Detective: [referring to attempted murder victm] So I talked to some of James Shepard's associates about his T-shirt company. No bad debts, no bad habits.
Lieutenant: Our shooter, on the other hand, drinks bourbon, smokes Avo Pyramids, and eats lemon meringue pie.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Don't you care about the people you killed?
James: I'm sorry for them, Mr. McCoy. But that wasn't me. I'm not that creature. And I'm not going to take the rap for what he did.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: You guys sent something to the DNA lab?
Detective: Yeah, that baby got up close and personal with Lennie's jacket.
[Lennie opens his coat and shows he's just wearing a shirt]

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: If you're gonna play stickball in Canarsie, learn Brooklyn rules!

Lt. Anita Van Buren: I just heard from the D.A. They cut a deal with Bobby Sabo.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: [sarcastic] No needle? Big surprise.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: No, six to twelve.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: What, years or weeks?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Sabo gave up the Murray Hill rapist. They collared the guy two hours ago.
[Briscoe and Green turn to leave]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: And Lennie? McCoy says Sabo copped to the confession.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: [sarcastic again] How nice of my pal Bobby. And tell him I plan on doing this job from my wheelchair.

Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Lawyer to lawyer, you never talked to Denise, did you?
Jack: No.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Then how did you know?
Jack: I didn't. But I do know that *I'm* barely white enough to live in Greenwich, Connecticut.

Andee: At least she knew a few words of English.
Detective: Which ones?
Andee: I pretty... give me...

Dr. Seliger: Unfortunately, it falls under the category of privilege.
Mike: Whose? I mean, the girl's dead.
Dr. Seliger: Privilege does survive the death of a patient.
Phil: Does that include prescription history, doctor?
Dr. Seliger: Priscilla asked me for something a few weeks ago. I told her I didn't think it was necessary.
Mike: Yeah, because her friends are telling us she didn't even like painkillers.
Dr. Seliger: I'd say that was an accurate statement. Really, I wish I could help.
Phil: Doctor, we understand that. Now bottom line, we just want to know who can waive that privilege.
Dr. Seliger: If the court appoints a personal representative, they'd have the authority to sign a waiver on Priscilla's behalf.
Phil: Ah.
Dr. Seliger: It would probably be her mother.

Dr. Emil Skoda: [after hearing Dennis talk about his childhood] That's just a lot of rehearsed crap.

Zack: You can't keep me here, man.
Mrs. Rowland: Look, my son said he didn't do anything.
Captain: And I'm sure he won't do it again, right?
Zack: Real funny. Eddie Murphy better watch his ass.
Captain: Now why do you wanna go and use language like that in front of your mom?

Judith: They can make crutches for everything but your self esteem.

Attorney: I hear there might be an offer.
Connie: You heard right.
Attorney: So McCoy's regained his sanity.
Michael: It's all or nothing. The three defendants who beat Vince Fonsella to death plead to murder two, twenty to life. The other defendants take two counts of man one, five years to run consecutively.
Sean: I'd have to do ten years? I didn't even kill anybody.
Michael: Well, right now you have a life sentence hanging over your head. So you can whine about it or you can cut your losses.

Ed: The other guard went to the hospital with the victim.
Cyrus: Yeah, from what I hear, he could end up being our only living witness.
[showing Ed a pamphlet he picks up]
Cyrus: Ugh. Yoga classes. Prenatal.
Ed: Two victims now.

Detective: [looks at pictures of how cows are killed for meat] Makes *me* want to take up tofu.

Elise: [recounting her sexual assault to Stone] He wanted...
Alex: He's not judging you.
Elise: Oral sex... he pushed my head, and he...
[sobs]
Alex: Choked her.
Elise: I told my parents I was in a car accident.
Alex: They still don't know.

Detective: Do you know the name of your father's girlfriend?
Jamie: [crying] I didn't know he had a girlfriend. You had to tell my mother *that*?

Jack: [to Briscoe] Why did you change your mind?
Detective: You saw the crime scene photos and you have to ask me that? We made a mistake and she paid for it.
Jack: Do you understand the implications?
Detective: Yeah. The defense has a police report that says the opposite of what I'm saying.
Jack: Manetti will tear you to shreds on the stand. I can't stop it.
Detective: I can make the case.
Jack: Under oath?
Detective: You set it up. I'll be there.
[leaves the room]
Jack: We're indicting Lowry for attempted murder.
Jamie: For the incident on the stairs?
Jack: I'm not sending Briscoe to the lions without backup.
Jamie: What about the police report?
Jack: You heard the man. The police made a mistake.

Max: [eating a candy bar] I remember when these were five cents.
Mike: Yeah, and you used to walk 12 miles barefoot in the snow to get to school.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [referring to abortions] When you were still performing them, would Mr. Seeley have been justified in killing you?
Dr. Rachel Moran: [upset] Yes. I was, in effect, committing murder.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [puzzled] In effect?
Dr. Rachel Moran: I was committing murder.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: All right. Would you please stand up?
[to the bailiff]
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Officer, arrest this woman!
Judge: Mr. McCoy!
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: We've just heard a confession of murder, Your Honour. Officer!
Judge: I'm not amused, Mr. McCoy!
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: How many counts of murder shall we charge you with, Dr Moran?
Judge: [angry] Mr. McCoy! May I remind you that abortion is legal!
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [triumphantly] Thank you, Your Honour!

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [after Schiff chews Claire out] She didn't deserve that.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Tough! Plead Smith out.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Almost a record! They convicted him in an hour and a half.
D.A. Adam Schiff: How's the wife doing?
Jack: Shaky, but she served him with divorce papers on his way out of the courtroom.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Gotta be tough finding out you married your stalker.

[last lines]
Ben: [after convicting a talented physicist of second-degree murder] On the other hand, he killed a woman, so I had to play it by the book.
Adam: You feel bad about that?
Ben: Twenty-five years - he's not your typical killer.
Adam: He is - he killed somebody.

Det. Mike Logan: Somebody heard that shot?
Policeman #1: In this neighborhood? You couldn't get a witness to a sunrise.

Jack: Never get Freudian on a man holding a pickle.

[last lines]
Jack: I'm sure you could strip the flesh off Carly's bones on cross; she's traumatized, you might be able to get her to say whatever you want. And Sherman's looking at fifty years; I don't doubt that we can ram a plea bargain down his throat now. I'm declining to prosecute both Mrs. Di Gravia and Mr. Sherman because we can't say which one is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. A fog of war is blinding us to the truth.
Michael: Better not to convict anyone than convict the wrong person.
Connie: I can see the headlines now. "No justice for baby Mikey."
Michael: You're gonna take a lot of heat for this.
Jack: I can live with that. So can you.

Olivia: Real piece of work. That's Lorraine Dillon. The blonde is April Troost, her daughter. 25, IQ off the charts, but good luck trying to find a heartbeat.
Detective: You had 'em on racketeering?
Olivia: And they walked. Not this time.
Detective: You realize this is a long shot?
Olivia: Sullivan died trying to call me. You were right. This was personal.

EADA: Don't blame me for murdering them, they were horrible parents. And don't blame me for mutilating my husband in his sleep. He abused me

Detective: So, what do we have?
Detective: Samantha Savage. One in the chest.
Detective: Samantha Savage the porn star?
Detective: It's kind of hard to tell with her clothes on, but yeah. One of the uniforms recognized a tattoo on her neck. Broken heart.
Detective: Must be a close student of her work. Who found the body?
Detective: Kid who lives across the street. Him and his buddy saw her through the window with binoculars. Said they were doing a little bird watching before school.
Detective: I'll bet they were.
Detective: The porn world is gonna be in mourning tonight.
Detective: I wonder what they fly at half-mast.

Cookie: My father was there when they brought me in. The doctors told him about the baby. He asked them if they could keep it secret, for my sake. Never even told my mother...

Carla: First of all, you've got to get a jury to buy it.
EADA: After the judge instructs them about the weight this evidence should be given, your client will be convicted of several counts of larceny by extortion.
Carla: You're dreaming.
EADA: Well, if you want something badly enough, dreams have a way of coming true.

Detective: Konstantin Volsky, we're your friendly movers from the NYPD. We're executing a search warrant for bank statements, pass books, certificates of deposit, Eurodollar accounts, traveler's checks, wire transfer records reflecting deposits, withdrawals, and exchange of funds at any bank or financial institution in or out of the United States. In other words, everything except the family snapshot and the rubber in your wallet.

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: If she's a hooker, she's the first one I've met who has better underwear than me.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Why wasn't a police officer stationed in the apartment?
Anita: In a one-bedroom? That would have been cozy. We tried putting someone downstairs in the vestibule, but the tenants complained.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Lieutenant, I don't have to tell you...
Anita: No, you don't. We're treating this like Ricci was one of our own.

Jack: We uncovered a crucial witness.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Who? Busload of nuns ready to testify that Bobcat was up for sainthood?
Jack: No. Just Mr. Kellogg's friend Denise.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Um, I haven't had the pleasure.
Jack: A married lady who your client knows quite intimately.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: And her testimony is relevant because...?
Jack: To be totally honest, I doubt if anything she has to say would make a difference to anyone in the courtroom.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Oh. Silly me. I thought "crucial" meant...
Brian: Make a deal.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Are you crazy? We've rounded man one and are sliding into man two. That could be eighteen months.
Brian: No. We gave it a shot, okay? It didn't work out.
[to Jack]
Brian: What can I get?
Jack: I'll give you man one, but you have to do the max.
Serena: Twelve and a half to twenty-five beats the hell out of twenty-five to life.

Lennie: I hear McCoy's on the warpath.
Anita: Let's say... the drums are beating loud and clear. What did the M.E. have to say?
Ed: The M.E. on the scene was a hair off. Sixteen puncture wounds.
Lennie: And a .38 caliber bullet.
Anita: They shot him, too?
Lennie: First. Close-up to the heart. Tenofskie was dead before he hit the ground.
Anita: D.A.s tend to make a lot of enemies in the real world.
Ed: Somebody sure took it personally.

Det. Mike Logan: Max, you're drawing conclusions.
Sgt. Max Greevey: Let's just say I heard a dog bark.

[last lines]
Connie: [Connie packing up a notepad in her briefcase] Molly's father is suing B-Friendz for wrongful death
Jack: He'll be lucky if he ever gets a dime
Connie: [Connie closes the B-Friendz page on the computer] Well, it's one way to take responsibility for your child
Jack: It's always 10 PM somewhere, do you know where your children are?

Ed: Your Honor, may we be heard in chambers?
Renee: What is this about, Mr. Zanini?
Ed: I've received information that Mr. Price's personal circumstances make it impossible for him to be fair and impartial.
E.A.D.A. Nolan Price: What exactly are you talking about? My brother died of an oxycodone overdose nine years ago.
Ed: Which creates bias in the appearance of impropriety.
E.A.D.A. Nolan Price: My personal life has absolutely nothing to do with this case.
Ed: One could infer that Mr. Price is using this case to even some kind of score, which violates his professional responsibility.
Renee: You want me to declare a mistrial?
Ed: And recuse ADA Price from any further involvement in the case.
E.A.D.A. Nolan Price: I have done nothing but follow the facts and the law.
Renee: I find the allegation troubling, but I see no reason for a mistrial.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: What amazes me is that he almost convinced his son to do 25-to-life.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Must've given him quite a lecture on family values.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [dryly] I love cases where a homicidal gun dealer is our best witness.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Correctional Assistance Services filed a federal habeas corpus petition in district court. They want to take Sheridan back to Georgia.
Jack: First their bounty hunters treat our city like a shooting gallery; now they want to take home the kewpie doll.

Detective: You recognize this girl?
[shows headshot of Kimberly Davis]
Man: She an actress?
Detective: She moonlights at a hooter bar when she's not playing Lady Macbeth.

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: [referring to Alicia Milford] You can't seriously be considering "outing" her into a guilty plea!
Jack: Well, don't we manipulate the system every day? Threaten to take children from parents? Embarrass spouses with their partners' infidelities?
D.A. Nora Lewin: This is different, Jack.
Jack: Why?
D.A. Nora Lewin: Well, it plays into the notion that there really ***is*** something wrong with being gay. We run the risk of seeming like bigots.
Jack: I don't see how we can abandon a viable negotiating tactic because it's politically incorrect.

Det. Ed Green: There must be ten, fifteen grand here. Where'd you get the money, Bobby?
Bobby: Bite me!
Det. Lennie Briscoe: [to Ed] Go ahead. Bite him.

Ambassador: I'm going to call your boss; I'm going to get both of you busted down the ranks. You would be lucky if they let you work arraignment from the drunk tank on Saturday nights!
Jack: We don't have much of a social life as it is.

Detective: [to the reporters standing outside of the Janaways' home] Anybody takes one more step, you're dead in the department. No cop is ever gonna talk to you again. Now go on! Get out of here! Go find an accident or something.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I didn't hear you knock.
Shambala: That's 'cause I didn't. If I'd have knocked, you would've heard it.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I don't doubt that.

Judge: [after Ross arrives late in court] Ah - Miss Ross! How nice of you to join us... I gather you stayed later than 8 am this morning. Was the gentleman more... impressive today?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [taken aback] Your honor, I've been very busy.
Judge: What I'm suggesting.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: On a matter of business for this court.
Judge: Oh - and I thought our business was here. Whatever kind of romp you've been up to...
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: ...is relevant to this case, if you'd stop focusing on my sex life.
Judge: You're in contempt. I want a check for two hundred dollars.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [shouting] If you try to fine me...
Jack: [cutting her off] Not now... Approach, your honor?
Judge: If she brings her checkbook.
Jack: [quietly to Ross] ... Pretend he's your brother.

Michael: The man murdered children. Seeing him like that doesn't bother me.
Connie: Are you serious? You may not have been repelled, but I was, and I'm sure some of the jurors were, too.
Jack: Which means they'll be buying Yost's defense.
Michael: Well, he's taking the stand. It'll give me a chance to go after him.
Connie: After he tells the jury how his family was slaughtered.
Michael: Yost killed an innocent man in our jurisdiction.
Jack: No shades of gray in this for you, Mike?
Michael: Nope.
Jack: Good.

Jamie: [to McCoy] Follow the logic of your position. If you're for the death penalty, you're for the death penalty even if the condemned murderer is cute and cuddly.

Jack: This case is not a debate about euthanasia. It's about a thrill-killing by a monster masquerading as an angel of mercy. Michael Sutter is dead. He was murdered. That's all that matters.

Detective: All right, everybody's who's innocent can leave the room. Not you, sweetheart.

Sylvia: We have to meet him at the Palm Court at 4:00. He wouldn't like us to be late.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: So you're late. Then what, he starts rearranging the teacups?

Regina: Every great family has a secret. It's how you spend the money that counts. My family's philanthropy is well-documented.
Jack: So is the bribery.

Adam: I wouldn't count your chickens. Your omelet just hit the fan.

Andrea: All right, so I was drunk and I'm not a virgin. So I'm not the perfect victim.

D.A. Jack McCoy: Eight and a half million: the number of children sold into slavery every year.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Well this plantation has closed.

Ben: I'm not the one on trial here, and I'm the one who asks the questions!

Det. Mike Logan: I need to find a way to forgive myself.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Acceptance, Logan, it's...
Det. Mike Logan: I know, the last step.
[pause]
Det. Mike Logan: Okay. I accept Max's death, but I'll *never* accept it, you know?

Detective: Three deaths and a kidnapping. I'm only on my second cup of coffee!

A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Life is hard, Otis, it's even harder when you're stupid.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: If it was anybody else, but a mentally deranged homeless guy?
Jack: A woman on Madison Avenue had a brick shoved through her skull by a homeless guy. Last year, two people were pushed in front of a subway train by homeless guys.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: If your hippie friends could hear you now.
Jack: My hippie friends ride the subway to work. I don't want them sharing a platform with Harvey Bower.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: If you look at Bower's record, you can't help but get the feeling, if someone had been on the ball, Bower would've gotten the help he needs, and Karen Brewster would still be alive.
Jack: You're right. The system failed them both, miserably. And now we're left to clean up the mess, permanently.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: She told you someone showed her a trunk full of cocaine.
Frederick: Did she?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Yes, and I think it was your cocaine.
Frederick: And that's not very likely. I don't have any cocaine.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: And you didn't like hearing that from some dizzy bimbo at a party.
Nance: Do you have a theory here, McCoy, or are you just spraying Cheez Whiz into the wind?

Lennie: You read about the college where they have a rule that a guy has to get permission for every stage of a make-out session? "Can I touch you here? Thank you. Now, can I put my hand there?"
Detective: Isn't that the way you do it, Lennie? Beg?
Lennie: Mr. Young Married. You don't even have any idea what you're missing.
Anita: Yeah, late night reruns of I Dream of Jeannie.
Lennie: Isn't that sexual harassment?
Anita: File a charge.

Max: Who else had motive? Petrovich is out, the housekeeper, she doesn't strike me as a murderess, but you never know, if we rubber hose her, maybe she'll confess.

Moskowitz: We got one shot-up teacher and a parking lot full of shell casings. Two kids admit being in the vicinity. There's a uniform inside babysitting them.
Det. Rey Curtis: You got these cars listed yet?
[Moskowitz hands him a slip of paper]
Det. Rey Curtis: How many shots in all?
Moskowitz: We recovered two slugs from the victim's car, four from the bus, and the one the doctors are pulling out of the victim.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: [approaching] Lousy shooting.
Det. Rey Curtis: Good enough.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: [reading] "The more I stab you the more I want you."
Detective: Sounds like Gershwin.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Damn. My college's idea of sex in literature was Jane Eyre.
Detective: It's not just the colleges. It's everywhere. I won't let me kids near network television.

Serena: Mr. Dimmick, you're the only common link between Lorraine Cobin and Ronnie Buck.
Ray: I don't respond well to threats, Ms. Southerlyn, especially when they're empty.
Serena: What about questions in front of a grand jury? How do you respond to those?
Ray: In this case, I'll invoke so many privileges you'll be on your second facelift by the time I'm through.
Jack: [Back in McCoy's office] I'm suprirsed he didn't invoke attorney-client privilege the minute you walked in the room.
Serena: Well, I guess I have a way with shysters.

Jack: Only difference between Payne and Hastings is a law degree. Turn back the clock, he'd be drafting the house rules at Auschwitz.

Gerald: Sometimes the facts get in the way of the story.
Detective: Tell that to Johnny Franchetta.

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: Christopher's horse-trading records are insanely complicated. He covered his tracks. He wasn't so cautious about his mating rituals.
Jack: Should I be taking notes?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [smiles] If you want to go broke.

Dr. Edward Auster: When you practice medicine, Mr. Stone, sometimes the patient dies.
Executive A.D.A. Benjamin "Ben" Stone: And when you're a lawyer, Dr. Auster, some of the people you prosecute are convicted.

Detective: Frank Miller, you're under arrest for the murder of Yusef Hadad. On your feet.
Frank: I didn't murder anyone.
Detective: Oh, yeah? There's somebody down at the M.E.'s office doing a pretty good impression of a dead guy.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: [seeing painting of woman with no mouth and no hands] A woman this perfect had to be painted by a man.

A.D.A. Charlie Harmon: It went too far; I am sorry about that. Try to understand, Jamie.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: It's not in the job description.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: You don't believe I can win, do you?
D.A. Adam Schiff: I believe that you've got a hell of a mountain to climb in your summation. Isaac's lack of credibility translates into reasonable doubt!
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The jury could find Tashjian technically not guilty.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: And we all know he killed Ezra Shorr.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Our knowledge is a long way from proof.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: The laws for the rich are different.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: [referring to the apparently incompetent defence attorney's line of evidence to obtain an acquittal] Looks like her lawyer is not the idiot he seems to be.
Jack: No, he's an idiot.

Detective: [Detaining suspect climbing a fence] Get your ass back down here

Headwaiter: [referring to victim and suspect] Oh, yes, I remember them. I wanted to go, "Ditch the date, honey, and come with me"
Detective: Yeah, she is a head-turner.
Headwaiter: Not her -- him! You got his phone number in your little book?
Detective: They don't have phones where he is. Did you happen to overhear any of their conversation?
Headwaiter: Hmmm... Not really. My impression was that she was upset. He was very masterful -- dominating.
Detective: What time did they leave?
Headwaiter: About 9:30, 9:45. I offered to hail him a cab, but he said he had a car across the street.
[to Curtis]
Headwaiter: Do they have phones where **you** live?
Detective: Yeah, if you want to talk to my wife.
Detective: [after meeting, to Curtis] Hey, he's a fun guy. You could do worse!

Frank: Murder two? Why even have it on the menu? This isn't murder, it's manslaughter.
Ben: So you're admitting she killed them?
Frank: No, but if she killed them, it was extreme emotional disturbance. And that's manslaughter.
Ben: I get it. She wasn't there. And if she was there, she didn't kill them. And if she did kill them, she didn't mean to. And if she did mean to, it's because she was upset.
Frank: Cute. The murder charge is inflated.
Ben: If she killed in the heat of passion and you can prove it.
Frank: Her husband was in bed with another woman. Juries tend to be sympathetic.
Ben: They also tend to sympathize with people who have been shot six times.
Frank: Criminally negligent homicide. She does no time.
Ben: No time? Why don't we throw her a tickerttape parade? Manslaughter one, eight and a third each count.
Frank: It's called plea bargaining, not plea scalping. Pass.

Jack: All those impressionable young minds that you molded over the years. Minds that went on to Princeton, Harvard, Yale, and law school, medical school, or Wall Street. And they got to pay twenty thousand dollars a year to send their kids to kindergarten. Don't you think it's ironic that they owe it all to a man who couldn't even afford to purchase his own apartment? Maybe there were just too busy winking and nodding and shaking the hands of friends of friends to worry about the man behind the men. Or, on the other hand, perhaps they just looked at you as someone who worked for them, the way you looked at Deborah Landon.
Wyatt: That school would be nothing without me.
Jack: And they owe you.
Wyatt: [shouting] Yes!
[quietly, after long pause]
Wyatt: Yes.

Jack: If he tells us about any other murders, I'll re-examine the death penalty.
ADA: You didn't ask for bail, Jessica. You must know...
Jessica: I know a lot of things. I know I dended a father who raped and murdered his eleven year old daughter. I've defended a guy who, for no apparent reason, walked into a grocery store, shot twelve innocent people with an Uzi. Right now, I've got a kid who decapitated his mom, hung her head on a stick outside of his church. All the scum of the Earth, they send them my way. I do my best for them, but this guy... so you're turning down my offer?
Jack: You know I have no choice.
Jessica: Damn it.
Jack: All you have to do is...
Jessica: I can't. Mark Bruner scares the socks off of me, Jack. How am I supposed to represent someone that I'm scared to death to be in the same room with?

Jack: I bought you dinner. I didn't know what you liked, so I got you salad, low-cal dressing...
Abbie: Low-cal?
Jack: Excuse me?
Abbie: I burn it, I don't store it... What did you get?
Jack: Ribs.
Abbie: Great.
[takes the ribs]
Abbie: Looks good. I'll eat, you graze.

Detective: It's never a happy ending.
Detective: We found blood in the apartment.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: I don't know yet whose it is. Haven't done the autopsy.
Detective: Cause of death?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: At first glance, it looks like the baby was more than likely put in the bag and buried alive.
Detective: Looks like skin and bones. What did he die of?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Hard to tell. Asphyxiation. Dehydration. Exposure. I won't know until I do the autopsy.
Detective: How long can a baby live like that?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: The Mexican earthquake, babies survived nine days buried alive.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Arrest the son of a bitch.

Judge: [commenting on Ross's clothing] Lovely blouse. Rare to see single-ply silk with that texture. Must feel very nice. Italian weave.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: ...Chinese.
Judge: Ah! They're improving.

Ben: [a former judge has pleaded guilty to criminal harassment and is elocuting his guilt. Stone's lost his patience] Your honor, this is insufficient. The defendant is behaving as if someone else committed this crime...
Arthur: You want him on his knees, Ben?
Judge: Walter...
Judge: *Judge Schreiber*, to you. Now, I've heard all the dodging and weaving I can take on this one. You wore the same robes I do- you know the drill. Now, if you want to dance, you can come back and dance at a trial, so let's hear it. *All* of it.
Judge: [takes a deep breath and begins] In an effort to convince Janet Rudman of my love... of the sincerity of that love...
Ben: [not letting him drift this time] Judge Thayer, please answer the question. Did you threaten Molly Rudman?
Judge: [Thayer is silent. Gold, his lawyer, looks slightly panicked. And Schreiber has had it] *I require an answer.*
Ben: Judge Thayer- sir, for the last time- for the *very* last time- did you threaten Janet Rudman's child?
Judge: Yes.

[last lines]
Jack: What can I say? Nobody's made of steel. Not even someone with a 160 IQ.
Serena: Turns out neither are you.
Jack: What?
Serena: It's called compassion, Jack.
Arthur: Don't make it a habit, my friend. Sometimes the good you do doesn't do you any good.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: Lots of folks gonna remember this face.
Detective: It doesn't place.
Detective: He slaughtered five people in a burger joint in '97.
Detective: The Midtown massacre? That I remember.
Detective: I was working Narcotics around the corner at the time. I was one of the first to respond. I testified at his trial.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: They put him on death row.
Detective: Three times over, but they changed the law before they got the needle in him. This is the bastard that's supposed to be dead.

Judge: Murder one. Great. Get the day started off with a bang. How do you plead?
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Your Honor, the Defense objects to your cavalier attitude and demands an apology.
Judge: Who is this?
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Furthermore, in light of the lack of...
Judge: Is this going to take long, Mr...
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Dworkin, Randolph J., Your Honor. And yes, I do have several points I'd like to...
Judge: You win, Mr. Dworkin. I apologize.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Thank you, Your Honor. Now...
Judge: Don't push it. How does your client plead?
Steven: Not guilty, Your Honor.
Judge: Counselor.
Serena: Due to the heinous nature of the crime, the People request that the defendant be remanded without bail, Your Honor.
Randolph J. 'Randy' Dworkin,: Your Honor, I object. What murder isn't heinous?
Judge: Good point. No bail.

[last lines]
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: They beat you, they starve you; makes me wonder what I would have done.
D.A. Adam Schiff: There's no Supreme Court of Ethics, my friend. Sometimes the only yardstick is: Can you look yourself in the mirror, the day after?
Paul: Well, what about Mara? By insisting we seal the files, she was still protecting her father.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: She wasn't protecting her father. She was protecting her son.

Arthur: You can't imagine the father reacting out of grief and anger, Jack? Why not drop it down to manslaughter?
Jack: There's no extreme emotional defense here. Silva pursued Brian Teague, Arthur. He made it murder two when he walked out of that bar, a full twenty minutes after Brian Teague left.
Arthur: Well, still, a sleeper hold... way I understand it, it's meant to subdue someone, not necessarily to kill 'em. I mean, things backfired. A good man went too far.
Jack: Believe me, I'm not thrilled at having to prosecute a decorated veteran.
Arthur: Well, Chiles will make murder two a tough sell to a jury.
Jack: What are you worried about, Arthur? Man one will be included in the final charges, if the judge buys the EED.
Arthur: So it's win-win. And you're set on murder two?
Jack: We have to draw the line somewhere.
Arthur: We do. Every time we indict someone.

Jack: You hoped Curren would kill him. To end the blackmail.
Willard: Heavens to Betsy. What a dreadful idea.

Jack: Your Honor can't seriously entertain the notion that a defendant can benefit in one murder by killing the witness by committing another.
Judge: I didn't draft the Constitution, Mr. McCoy.
Jack: No, but you can interpret it. These two cases are inextricably linked. What's the good of proving that the defendant had an opportunity to kill Buck if I can't show the jury why?
Judge: You raise a good point.
Mr. Axtell: Your Honor, any mention of the Colbin murder would prejudice the jury irreparably.
Judge: Which is why I won't allow these two homicides to be tried together.
Jack: Your Honor...
Judge: However, what I will do is allow the People to present evidence of Alan Colbin's murder, only insofar as it pertains to motive in the murder of Ronald Buck.
[seeing McCoy and Axtell both don't like his decision]
Judge: Ooh, I always know I'm right when neither party's happy.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: [checking computer records] OK, Sean Alvarez filed a federal law suit against Braddock and Todd about six weeks ago
Lennie: What was the basis of the law suit
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Sexual harassment, he alleged a hostile work environment
Ed: Someone was in on it?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Not necessarily. All he has to do is establish his work environment is upsetting.
Lennie: I could do that
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: [smiling] Upsetting 'sexually' Lenny!

Adam: One guilty plea. One guilty verdict. Good work, and good night.
Jack: [to Jamie] Join me in a drink?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [shakes head] There's going to be a lot of fallout from this. A lot of people are going to think twice before signing their donor cards.
Jack: [pours drink] Cosgrove was an aberration. I'm not worried about a shortage of organs.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Maybe you should be, especially livers. Goodnight, Jack.
[Jack does a double take at his drink]

Vanessa: Murder two? Come on Jack. Cheating wife, murdered lover; it's as old as the Old Testament.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Is there a legal argument in there someplace?
Vanessa: Are you really that thick or are your boxers just tied in a knot because of the citizenship thing?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: You know me better than that.
Vanessa: Can you spell "racism"? Any other defendant would have been offered man two, extreme emotional disturbance, and you would have called it a day.
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: He waited a week after he found out that the baby wasn't his before he killed Arnold Zachary. I mean, go back and look at the Good Book written by the apostles up in Albany. It's called a cooling-off period, and it negates the lesser mes rea.
Vanessa: [sarcastic] Ooh, they get prettier and smarter.

Alberto: Two years? Maybe I'll write a book.

Jack: [cross-examining] How many people have you swindled, Mr Tappan?
Willard: None.
Jack: How many people have you been **convicted** of swindling?
Willard: Fourteen thousand.
Jack: Fourteen thousand people, lied to when they bought bonds in North River Savings and Loan?
Edward St. John: Objection: argumentative.
Jack: Addresses credibility.
Judge Herman Mooney: Overruled.
Jack: Why should anyone believe anything you tell them now, since you've been convicted of lying fourteen thousand times?

Roy: I simply want to put them under heightened scrutiny.
Jack: Mr. Payne simply wants to exclude them. That's unconstitutional, even for preemptory challenges.
Roy: If I find some unbiased Jews, then by all means, they're welcome to stay. Anyway, this issue won't come up very often. Most of them are smart enough to avoid jury duty in the first place.

Detective: [carrying a suspect's book, JFK Jr., to Rey] Don't worry, I just bought it for the picture.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: How much does an abortion cost?
Lorraine: $300.
Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [to Logan] $300, the same price as a cheap mob hit.

EADA: You can re-write the law when you're appointed to the Supreme Court.
D.A. Arthur Branch: God willing.

Nick: I didn't like my father, some days I didn't even love him. Do you love your parents every day of the week?
Mike: And breaking his jaw? Is that how you show affection?
Nick: I'd been out with friends, I came home drunk, he wouldn't let me in the house until I sobered up.
Mike: You broke his jaw over that?
Nick: I told you I was drunk! Didn't you ever hurt anyone you loved?
Mike: Not enough to put them in the ER.

Ben: Look at the bright side.
Paul: What bright side?
Ben: We are not in Boston.

Detective: If it was me, I'd just have the operation.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Oh really? You got anything you'd think twice about having cut off? 7th grade, what was the first thing that made you notice little Susie sitting across the aisle?
Detective: Come on, I was 13 years old.
Detective: Oh, and everything's changed since then?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: That was the first thing that made little Susie feel like a woman, and trust me, it never goes away.
Detective: So what're you saying, Lieutenant? If you got the big C you'd just curl up with a bowl of chicken soup and a rabbit's foot under your pillow?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: What I wouldn't do, Mike, is be sitting around here eating cold pizza with you guys. No offense but in my last days I'm going to spend it with my husband and my kids.

Detective: I'd hate to have somebody track me by what I read.
Detective: You read, Lennie?

Lt. Anita Van Buren: I'd better go. I'm late for my daily spanking at One Police Plaza.

Maitre'D: One of the ladies gave me a card. She fancied herself a wine expert. She ordered a Caberet Sauvignon. Can you imagine?
Lennie: How gauche.

Austin: Hello, everybody.
Jack: What's this?
Austin: That is a dated and unopened parcel sent to me by Mr. Tony Rosatti, with instructions to open it only if and when Mr. Vignerelli so requests. Will you do the honors, Mr. McCoy?
Tony: [On video] Hey, Bobby, Austin. I know if you're watching this, the two of you are in a room with a couple of DAs and the whole thing's gone to hell. Whoever it is, hi. My name is Tony Rosatti. I thought I'd planned this whole thing out pretty good. Sherri and that son-of-a-bitch Porter in jail, me at peace, maybe for the first time. So, Mr. DA, the hit man, the wired money, the phone in Porter's apartment, it was all me. Bobby loaned me the dough, but he didn't know what it was for. Sorry, Bobby, for jamming you up this way. So that's it. All's well, etcetera. You know what? Parting is not sweet sorrow, it's just plain sweet.
Bobby: [Smiles] Well I'll be damned. All right, Tone.
Jack: I don't believe he could have done this by himself. You loaned him the money to bankroll this. I could indict you as a co-conspirator.
Austin: For what? To commit assisted suicide?
Bobby: Well, I guess I'll go buy myself that cup of coffee, huh?

D.A. Adam Schiff: Everyone's calling: the Times, the Inquirer. What do I say about Andrew Dillard? "Oops"?
E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [deadpan] Tell 'em your staff is so good they can even convict an innocent man.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: Do you believe him?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I believe on a good day he couldn't hit his ass with both hands.

Cyrus: Tell me, was shooting Timmons as easy as shooting that tree?

Max: They think I killed Mike.
Leon: They do? You didn't, did you?
Max: No.
Leon: Well then just tell them the truth! I never saw anybody get hurt by the truth!
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [watching through the mirror] This man says he's an attorney?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Suspects are entitled to a lawyer, not a good lawyer.

Lennie: I don't know much about Queen Anne chairs, but I know how to add one plus one.
Ted: You should ask for a promotion.

Detective: I'd love to smack that little pompous schmuck.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Me first.

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Walter Grimes is legally sane.
Jack: But?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: But I'm sure his lawyer can find experts who will say that his experience in prison so programmed him that he lacked the ability to appreciate that his conduct was wrong.
Jack: It turned him into a killer?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Well, they'll argue that he couldn't differentiate between his old environment and his new one.
Jack: He couldn't tell the difference between Rooney's Tavern and the exercise yard at Green Haven?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Exactly. The defense will get a gaggle of psychiatrists to say that Grimes lacked the ability to curtail a lethal instinct developed by two decades in prison.
Jack: I'd feel sorry for a man who lost that much of his life on a wrongful conviction.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: If Fallon gets this in front of a jury, you could have a problem.

Jack: What have we got here? A hit man who changes his story to get a better deal? When Cruz first showed up, he was the final nail in Dobson's coffin.
Claire: Bit it couldn't have worked out better for Dobson if he'd arranged it himself.
Adam: That's interesting, isn't it?

[about Max Greevey's killer, who'd also considered trying to kill Max's wife]
Capt. Donald Cragen: 'Maybe threaten his old lady'... too bad he didn't take that route. Marie would have kicked his ass!

Detective: [about a soda bottle in an evidence bag] Orange Delecta... mmm, thought so, ghetto silencer.

Uniform: He jumped into the car and took off like a bat out of H. E. double hockey sticks.
Detective: What precinct are you from? Sesame Street?

[last lines]
Female: Mr. McCoy! We hear you've been asked to join the Obama administration?

Jack: [in closing summation] What do you make of Rosa Halasy and her calling? I can't answer it myself. Mr. Wade says you can't convict her because she's a good person, maybe even a holy person. I'm not sure I disagree with his characterization, but it brings you right back to the contradiction: can a righteous person commit a wrongful act? What I do know is that Rosa Halasy is flesh and blood like you and me. We can't let Rosa Halasy assert for herself the power we vest in our Supreme Being. She may hear God, but she may not play God! Just because she has a divine mission, it doesn't exempt her from the code of human behavior. When she squeezed the life out of Kira Grayson in the back room of her apartment, she violated that code. Her passion for God, however tangible and heartfelt, rendered her oblivious to the mortality of Kira Grayson. She's responsible for the consequences of her convictions. And just as her God holds her accountable, so should we!

D.A. Nora Lewin: If the case depends on the jury believing a career criminal who's cut a deal, I'd say we're in trouble.
Jack: We have a defendant who left the country rather than stand trial.
D.A. Nora Lewin: Which the defense will attribute to a combination of panic and religious fervor.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Well, we could also establish that he was stealing from the business.
D.A. Nora Lewin: A business his father half owned.
Jack: Are you suggesting that we offer him a deal?
D.A. Nora Lewin: After what we went through to get him back here? Not on your life.

Detective: You're the Contessa of Alto-Perugia?
Sophie: [strong southern US accent] That's right. "Alto" means upper.
Detective: I take it you're from the southern part of the upper?
Sophie: South Carolina, actually. My late husband, the Count, was from Italy. We met at a golf tournament in Florida.
Detective: He was a golfer?
Sophie: No: he sold cookware.

Shambala: [to Joshua Berger] You're scared of blacks. Isn't that right, Mr. Berger?
Joshua: I am not a racist.
Shambala: You're not only scared of them, you hate them. Isn't that true?
Joshua: Look, any middle-aged white person: Jew, Baptist, atheist, whatever, who says that he's not frightened, no, make that terrified to find himself alone on a city street, being followed by two or three black teenagers, is a liar.

Fred: When Willard Tappan's Savings and Loan went in the crapper, I represented its major creditors. We seized the corporate lodge in Aspen where Tappan took his friends and prostitutes, the corporate jet he used for his golf outings, the corporate apartments in Miami and London.
Detective: Sounds like quite a haul.
Fred: Everything turned out to be mortgaged elsewhere, sometimes two or three times
Detective: Did any of your clients ever hear from Arthur Kopinsky?
Fred: Financial institutions. They lose a few million, it's not the end of the world. It's people who lost a few thousand, who only **had** a few thousand, who'd be vulnerable to that kind of thing.

[last lines]
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: After six years, I still don't know what cops are about.
Jack: I grew up with one. I don't know, either.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Well, they're real good at circling the wagons to protect themselves from the likes of us.
Jack: But who protects them from each other?

Det. Mike Logan: What the hell is this? You expect me to sit on my ass while my partner's killer walks around free?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Either way, that is exactly what is going to happen. Because if the first confession is coerced, then so is the second, and the third, no matter how many times you Mirandize the suspect.
Capt. Donald Cragen: Coercion is a judgment call, Stone. My guy never laid a glove on the son of a bitch.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: That doesn't matter. If he coerced the first confession, it is still "fruit of the poisonous tree."
Det. Mike Logan: What "fruit!" What's it some stupid technicality?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: [to Cragen] Perhaps you can explain the concept to your men, so they don't let another cop killer walk.
[starts to leave, then pauses and turns back]
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I doubt if Max Greevey would've considered it a "technicality."

Uniform: [looking for a man's penis his wife cut off] Mike, when we find it, what do I do with it?
Det. Mike Logan: Put it on a leash and walk it over to St. Vincent's Hospital.

Adam: You may be right about Swann.
Claire: The papers are turning him into a folk hero.
Adam: When he gets acquitted, I might offer him a job. You try dealing with him?
Ben: Adam, if you want me to plead him, you take me off the case.
Adam: Don't tempt me.

Janet: [when she accuses her husband of molesting her daughter] She took showers with him and his live-in girlfriend, naps with them when she was naked. My child was living in terror.
Ben: Mrs. Silver, we are sorry for your daughter, but an accusation is not enough for us to prosecute.

Michael: Suppression is a remedy that punishes police misconduct. The police did absolutely nothing wrong here. The brick was stolen by civilians.
Attorney: Who'd been for all practical purposes deputized to investigate this case.
Michael: That's not accurate. They helped identify a suspect in a photo that was released to the public.
Judge: I think I just heard a hair split, Mr. Cutter. Talk to me about the backpack.
Attorney: Again, it was stolen from my client by the same deputized vigilantes after they mugged him.
Connie: No. We have affidavits from the detectives that these civilians were warned to stay away from Mr. Sherman. They were not working as agents of the police.
Attorney: Even granting that, the People can't establish a chain of custody for the backpack. The butane may have been planted by the vigilantes.
Judge: That you'll have to argue to a jury, Mr. Wilson. The backpack is coming in, the bricks are out. See you in court.

Det. Ed Green: Frank Leahy, you're going to have to come with us.
Frank: Why?
Det. Ed Green: We're placing you under arrest.
Frank: What for?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: It ain't for stealing home.

Judge: Shall we take this from the top?
Carla: No need to, your Honor. Dom is dead and I did it. I knew exactly what I was doing.
Judge: I'm not supposed to express personal opinions in the courtroom, but I've got to tell you, Ms. Perazzo, you make me proud to be an American.
Carla: Thank you.
Judge: Cheating on you, was he?
Carla: Yeah.

Executive A.D.A. Michael Cutter: Jack, meet the Johnsons. Among other things they're being charged with murder.
Detective: [to the Johnsons] Let's go say hi to some of your friends.
[takes them to a cell]

D.A. Adam Schiff: See if I'm caught up... we've got the business student, bigots, bar owner...
Jack: ...the banker and the bimbo.
D.A. Adam Schiff: It's a John le Carré novel.

Detective: Is it a bomb?
Fire: Nope. Just a good old-fashioned electrical burner. Hit a gas leak and boom. The owner's a lucky bastard.
Detective: What caused it?
Fire: Gas pipe in the basement's punctured; electrical wire was cut.
Detective: Please tell me a rat did that.
Fire: Only if the little guy had a very sharp steak knife in his claw. This wasn't an accident. Somebody definitely wanted this puppy to come tumbling down.

Sergeant: Seven deaths, we could be looking at a mass murderer here.

Lennie: Dead man walking. Just when you thought you'd seen everything.
Anita: We still have a victim in search of a suspect.
Lennie: Well, Salter's expert give us anything new to go on?
Anita: He says someone beat Fisher up about seven hours before Salter struck him with her car.
Ed: So, two a.m.
Lennie: Which would mean he took a beating round seven o'clock the night before.
Ed: Well, beyond that, we still got a grand total of zero leads.
Anita: So we start with square one.
Lennie: Yeah, Tompkins Square.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [talking to victim's ex-girlfriend] Why don't you come to the station with us. Let us take your fingerprints?
Arlene: No no no no no no no. You're not going to run a Fuhrman on me.

Phillip: About that deduction, Ben. You should have gotten yourself a better divorce attorney.
Ben: You little creep. This isn't a game.
Phillip: You don't like me, Ben?
Ben: You just waking up to that?
Phillip: Could that be the reason that you used perjured testimony to convict me in the first trial?
Ben: There's no proof that Russell Bobbitt...
Phillip: Think again, counselor. I was acquitted in the second trial. Therefore, a fortiori, Bobbitt must have been lying in the first. Ergo, you are collaterally estopped from trying to prove otherwise.

Det. Ed Green: [talking about Judith Barlow] No wonder why they call her the most hated bitch in America.
Detective: You mean woman, right?
Det. Ed Green: No, I mean bitch.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: You violated his civil rights.
Det. Mike Logan: His rights? Oh sure, what about *Max's* rights?

Susan: [referring to the dead horse's manure] Solid fecal balls, and it's warm.
Detective: I'll take your word for it.

Detective: You Cookie Molina?
Cookie: Who wants to know?
Detective: Hey, I thought Cookie was a girl's name.

Jack: Politics and the death penalty. My favorite combination.

Arraignment: It's good to see you're still alive, Aaron.
Aaron: May I say the same for you, sir.
Arraignment: Tell me, Aaron, what's the best thing about getting old? I forgot.
Aaron: When you remember, Your Honor, please let me know.
Arraignment: [referring to defendant] So, what's his story?
Lonnie: Not guilty, sir.
Arraignment: You know, in the past 40 years, your lawyer has yet to represent a guilty man.
Aaron: Must be the luck of the draw, Your Honor.

Betsy: [to Logan and Cerreta] Do they give you guys insensitivity seminars? No woman asks to be raped.

Jack: Do you work outside the home?
Sylvia: I know it's old-fashioned, but I believe if there are children, the wife should be home for them. Children are a precious gift.
Jack: Who handles the discipline, you or your husband?
Sylvia: He does.
Jack: Who takes care of the finances? Who deals with the workman, the electricians, the plumbers?
Sylvia: Bill.
Jack: Over the years, who took your children to school?
Sylvia: Mmm, he did.
Jack: Who took them shopping for clothes and toys?
Sylvia: Bill.
Jack: What exactly is your function in the family, Mrs. Fallon? To fold the towels?
[Mrs. Fallon pauses and looks at her husband]
Jack: Your husband can't tell you what to say right now.

[last lines]
Detective: Hey, lieu. We're in no rush to get home tonight?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: You know, I used to wake up in the morning, brush my teeth, comb my hair, look in the mirror, and see a cop looking back at me.
Detective: Hmm. Stevie Thomas shattered that mirror?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Now I got six eyes looking back. A cop, a black woman, a mother.
Detective: That's lucky. You know what Eric Thomas sees? Nothing.

Drew: [referring to McCoy] He's badgering me, your Honor.
Judge: I can instruct them to lower the temperature, but you still have to answer the question!

Jack: [confronting Barry and Shelly Taggert on the courthouse steps, after Shelly has been acquitted and implicated Barry in the crime] I'm afraid your celebration ends now, Mr Taggert.
Barry: You're arresting me for murder?
Jack: I would, if I thought you were guilty.
Detective: Barry Taggert, you are under arrest for enterprise corruption.
[cuffs Taggert]
Detective: You have the right to remain silent...
Barry: [referring to Shelly] You dropped all that after I brought her back.
Jack: That was before you took part in this charade.
Shelly: Daddy, I'll get your lawyer.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: That's nice of you, Miss Taggert. Your father's business is gone. He's going to prison.
Barry: It's all right, honey.
Jack: Sure. If she's half as good to you as you've been to her, maybe she'll visit!

Jack: That's why I'll never get married again.
A.D.A. Connie Rubirosa: Whoa, she's your...
Jack: Second ex-wife's attorney.

Matthew: Maybe I should explain: Reynaldo was charged and convicted ten years ago of killing his wife. Problem was she wasn't dead, she just ran off.
Reynaldo: And now you can't do nothing to me. What's it called?
Matthew: Double jeopardy.
Reynaldo: That's when you can't be charged for killing the same wife twice.
Matthew: Gotta love the Constitution.

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: There's no need to be anxious. We're just having a conversation.
Walter: I ain't anxious. What makes you think I'm anxious?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Do you know why you're here?
Walter: My lawyer says it's because of what happened to me in prison. I lose control.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: What do you think?
Walter: I spent twenty years in prison for something that I didn't do! I don't have control over nothin'! How can I lose what I don't have?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: You're talking about Leanne Testa's murder.
Walter: Of course that's what I'm talking about. The police said I killed that girl. I'd never even met her.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: They found a bloody knife in your apartment with your fingerprints on it.
Walter: They planted that knife.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: The police?
Walter: Yeah, the police. I had an alibi. They didn't believe me.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: But this time, you did kill someone. You killed Brendan Donner.
Walter: He laid hands on me.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: And that justified killing him?
Walter: I bumped into him, by accident. But this guy, he gets all freaky on me. In my face, telling me the whole world's against him.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: And you thought hitting him with a bottle was an appropriate response?
Walter: I didn't think about it. He grabbed me. A guy comes at you, you don't think twice. You just put him down. You stop to think about what to do, you're dead.

Independent: Mr. McCoy, what are you hiding?
Jack: Nothing. I'm simply trying to discharge my duties as a prosecutor for New York County.
Independent: Your duties? Mr. McCoy, weren't you called before the Disciplinary Committee of the New York Bar Association for withholding a witness statement in a murder case?
Jack: I ultimately offered that statement at trial.
Independent: That wasn't my question.
Jack: Yes, I appeared before the Disciplinary Committee.
Independent: Isn't it true a fellow A.D.A., Diane Hawthorne, illegally withheld exculpatory evidence in a case you were both prosecuting which led to the conviction of an innocent man?
Jack: Yes. I had no knowledge of that, and furthermore...
Independent: This A.D.A. was one of your lovers, isn't that right?
Jack: Now, you just hold on...
Independent: A simple yes or no, Mr. McCoy.
Jack: I can't see any possible relevance...
Independent: I see in your record a disturbing pattern of perjury, contempt of court, obstruction of justice. I want to know what it is you're hiding, Mr. McCoy, and why.
Jack: I answered that.
Independent: Not to my satisfaction. One of the principal investigators in Janine McBride's murder is Detective Leonard Briscoe, is that right?
Jack: Yes.
Independent: The same Detective Briscoe who was investigated by the Hellman Commission for destroying evidence in a drug case?
Jack: Why don't you tell the grand jury he was cleared of that?
Independent: Just a moment, Mr. McCoy. And whose daughter was murdered after testifying in the trial of a drug dealer?
Jack: What are you insinuating?
Independent: His involvement in this case raises serious concerns about the integrity of your investigation.
Jack: Detective Briscoe is above reproach.
Independent: You're hardly an impartial witness. Wasn't he a passenger in a car driven by another one of your lovers at the D. A. 's office when she was killed? Wasn't he drunk at the time? The accident report indicates that he was. Now, one last time, Mr. McCoy, what is the name of your witness, and what did they tell the police?
Jack: Mr. Dell, have you no shame? Have you no shame?
Independent: What I have is little patience for people who stonewall me. I direct you to answer.

Ed: Hey, when did you say Tenofskie graduated Brooklyn Law?
Lennie: Uh... the diploma in his office said 1980.
Ed: So that would have meant he would have been in Brooklyn from... '77 on.
Lennie: Yeah. Brooklyn Law School is, uh... three years if you go days, four years if you go nights.
[seeing Ed's look of surprise]
Lennie: I thought about it a while back.
Ed: You'd have made a hell of a shyster.
Lennie: Bite your tongue. So, what's the sudden interest in Tenofskie's domicile twenty years ago?
Ed: Well, this dude saved everything, including rent receipts.
Lennie: Hey, he was a little obsessive.
Ed: Yeah, well, according to these receipts, he lived in Phoenix in '78 and '79, while attending law school in Brooklyn.
Lennie: That's a hell of a commute.

Mike: The way these people keeps secrets, they ought to be giving lessons to the CIA. I mean, what did the kid do, stage a circle jerk in the locker room?
Lennie: Worse. He probably brought some of Mom's corned beef and cabbage to the school tea party.

Zelda: [shown a picture of Hexter] Who's this?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: You tell us.
Zelda: Well it ain't Mr. Peepers. He's too young, and his face is too chubby, this one looks like a mama's boy.

Lennie: There's nothing missing, no sign of a forced entry, and both the front and back doors take keys.
Ed: No witnesses, nobody heard anything. Everybody in the building was at work.
Lennie: See? That's why I don't retire.

Jack: A murder goes unpunished, it's bad for business.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [after McCoy has made a deal with Silverman] All this time I thought it was defense attorneys who were sleazy.

D.A. Adam Schiff: You say we're stymied because this Phantom says he's a journalist?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: He's arguing that his contributions to the electronic bulletin board qualify him as a reporter under the Journalist Shield Law.
D.A. Adam Schiff: That law only applies to professional journalists. This electronic thingamajig pay him?
Jack: Only in the admiration of his peers. But he has sold couple of articles to Biker Mommas magazine.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Who's hearing the motion?
Jack: Judge Conners.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh, good. I don't think she subscribes.

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: [on what blade made the stab wounds] Probably pinking shears.
Detective: I'm not even going to ask what pinking is.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [Dr. Nasser lied about being a cardiologist] Mr. Tobak finally came through. Dr. Nasser's résumé. Turns out he's an OB/GYN.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: That's a few organs south of cardiology.

Adam: Quick, lock the door. Someone might walk in with a case we can win.

Paul: So what? So what-what, we sit back and watch him tear the city in half? He's already set back race relations 30 years! I work with these people. I know how they feel, there is no cover-up! You know me! You think I'd be a party to it? This is unbelievable! I become a lawyer, turn down Wall Street, go into the one area I think I can help, and everybody thinks I'm a damn Oreo! Excuse me, Father.

Leon: Many of these prisoners were tortured?
Colonel: Ah, well, they... hey were interrogated, let's say, vigorously. I mean, these people were very dangerous people. I mean, many of them belonged to armed groups financed by Cuba and by the Soviet Union.
Leon: Some of them were executed?
Colonel: Only the ones, uh, that were found guilty of treason by a military tribunal.
Leon: How do you explain Jason Whitman's death?
Colonel: A mistake. A regrettable mistake, during time of crisis. It was not sanctioned by me or by anyone under my command. I am not stupid enough to pick a fight with the United States by killing one of its citizens.

Dr. Emil Skoda: [discussing the alleged rape of a mentally handicapped teenager] She's a sweet girl with an IQ of 65. And the school thinks exposing her to ridicule from normal kids somehow does her good.
Jack: She understand what she did?
Dr. Emil Skoda: Not in any meaningful way. She'd do whatever it takes to please whoever she was with.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Would that be obvious to another teenager?
Dr. Emil Skoda: That'd be crystal clear to anyone who talked to her for two minutes.
Jack: Those boys are gonna claim the last thing they did in that music room was talk.

Jenny: Sometimes I think about hurting little boys.
Dr. Emil Skoda: Hurting them how?
Jenny: Hitting them over the head and making them cry. Killing them and leaving them with no clothes on so they look stupid.

Sergeant: [discussing indicting a suspect with little evidence] You know, I wish we had the gun.
Donald: I wish I had a girlfriend named Lola.

[last lines]
ADA: She tried to delay her sentence until after she gave birth; she didn't want her baby being born in prison.
Executive: Probably the safest place for the child.
DA: By the time Mom gets out of Bedford, the kid should be able to defend itself.

Rodney: You asked me where Walter lived. I gave you his primary address.
Ed: Hey, man, don't get smart with us!
Rodney: Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. You couldn't keep up.
Anita: [entering] All right, let's all just take it down a notch. Mr. Fallon, this is way past zealous representation here.
Rodney: I can't tell you where he went. It's arguably privileged information.
Anita: Well, consider it negotiating a fugitive's peaceful surrender.
Rodney: I'll get him to come in.
Detective: Not a chance.
Rodney: I have no idea what he's capable of if he feels threatened. I... I can do this. He trusts me.
Anita: All right. You've got two hours. Either way, we're going to arrest him for murder or you for hindering prosecution.

Detective: [referring to his weekend with Ludlow] Nothing happened, Lieutenant.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [throws up hands] All right.
Detective: [angrily] You don't believe me!
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Actually I do, Rey. But with women it's not only "Did you jam it to some stray?", it's that you open your heart to her, or even want to. It's the emotional betrayal we can't stand.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: I look at you and I see possession with the intent to sell.
Belcher: You haven't searched me.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I got x-ray eyes. Now, you tell me about Drew Washington, and maybe I go blind.

[the trial of a policeman has just ended in his suicide]
Ben: It's the last one, no more cops, it's too hard.
D/Sgt. Max Greevey: Know why I wouldn't let go? Because there but for the grace of God go I, or any cop. You get caught, you get prosecuted.
Ben: Didn't know you were a philosopher, Max.
D/Sgt. Max Greevey: Just an ex-altar boy with a gun.

Dr. Emil Skoda: What can I tell you? She's one of the smartest people I've ever examined. Warm, compassionate.
Serena: [teasing him] You are still married, aren't you, Emil?
Jack: As long as you can say she was legally sane, I don't care how warm she is.
Dr. Emil Skoda: Well, she was sane at the time of the murder.
Jack: But?
Dr. Emil Skoda: She pisses me off. Any rational doctor with her specialty knows the emotional toll it can have. They take measures to protect themselves.
Serena: You mean like therapy?
Dr. Emil Skoda: Medical counseling, religious counseling. And not some John Edwards/Dionne Warwick hocus pocus. And then to actually use that as an excuse to commit murder, it's unconscionable.
Jack: So you're saying this is an act?
Dr. Emil Skoda: Yeah. Unfortunately, this woman is smart enough and sympathetic enough to just maybe get away with it.

Andy: [to Carmichael, after she has threatened him with capital murder] Lady, you can put your deal between your knees and squeeze.

SEC: [completely deadpan expression] The SEC doesn't make threats. There are those that co-operate and those that don't, and we have long memories.

Laura: [to Detective Green] Were you here when the police searched this place?
Detective: Yeah, why?
Laura: Peter gave me this really pretty pair of garnet earrings. They matched this bracelet. I think I left them here. Did you guys find them? I'd like them back.

Detective: [finding an abandoned baby stroller] Get CSU down here.
Detective: [picking up a nearby baby bottle] Still warm.
Detective: Let's hope the kid is.

Jack: [to Jamie Ross] The first week I met you, you told me you believe in monsters and things that go bump in the night, and that they should all rot in hell, along with their lawyers. Eddie Newman is a monster. I can't send him to hell without you.

[last lines]
Dwight: Thank you, Adam. Thank you. I could use a friend.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Always did, Dwight. That was always the problem.

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: But, Jack, if you put me on the stand, I have to stick to my diagnosis.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Fine. You're not testifying. I wanted her mental condition, not your emotional reaction. If you think vengeance belongs in the penal code, then you don't belong on my witness list.

Vicky: [about the man who killed her father] They were going to put him on Larry King, and get some big movie star to play him and make him out to be a hero. These wiseguys are psychos and losers, and everybody loves them. I don't get it.

Ted: Specifically, my field is forensic accounting. I determine the worth of businesses, usually for the purposes of litigation or matrimonial matters.
Defense: At my request, Mr. Vavoulis, did you evaluate the worth of Lucy Dolan's enterprise?
Jack: [Objects] Again, no foundation.
Ted: Actually, I can help with that.
Judge: Let's hear what you've got.
Ted: This chart helps establish what we call a PBA, a pattern of business activity. The enormous volume of phone calls over the past five months is a clear indication of business activity.
Defense: And the underlying data was derived from Lucy Dolan's home phone?
Ted: No, it's a cellular phone. But the same principles apply.
Defense: Go on.
Ted: When this phone activity is viewed in light of Miss Dolan's net worth, as determined by her tangible assets. such as automobiles, home furnishings, personal property, I see not just a going concern, but a thriving one.
Defense: And could you determine what kind of business Miss Dolan was involved in?
Ted: No, but if I had to guess, based on the voluminous cell phone use and the hours of the incoming calls, I'd say it was something perhaps not legal.
Defense: Drugs?
Ted: Perhaps.
Defense: And have you ever analyzed a narcotics business before, Mr. Vavoulis?
Ted: Yes. I've been hired by the FBI on several occasions. And this fits the profile.
Jack: Could this pattern also apply to some other home business, such as, say, selling Tupperware?
Ted: Yes.

Adam: If Manning swears that the theory is worthless, you gotta prove that it isn't. Now, what the hell's the theory?
Claire: That protons eventually fall apart.
Adam: Is this something to be worried about?
Claire: It means all matter in the universe will eventually disintegrate, in a certain way.
Adam: Terrific. Now, all we gotta do to win a larceny trial is prove how the universe will end!
Ben: No, all I do is get my own group of expert witnesses.
Adam: Well, who are you gonna get? The Almighty?
Ben: Physics professors! That's all Manning is.
Adam: Oh - physics professors. You better get a jury of insomniacs.

Hamida: What gives you the right to tell us how to live?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: What gives you the right to ignore the law?

Lennie: [after Curtis shows a witness pictures of the deceased victims of the hit and run accident which almost makes her vomit] That's one way to get her to spill her guts.

Detective: Can you believe what a high-definition TV goes for? $10,000.
Detective: Instead of "high def", they ought to call it "outrageously high def".

[Dr. Olivet has been raped while on an undercover mission]
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: You have no idea what it's like to be victimized by a powerful man.

Executive A.D.A. Michael Cutter: Little Orphan Annie doesn't have anything on you, Ms. Kim.

Mike: Five years ago, she's 24, he's 39.
Phil: Yeah, well, May-December romance is not exactly unheard of.
Mike: Yeah, but December usually comes with Santa Claus.

D.A. Adam Schiff: This man hurt his boy because he was depressed?
Jack: He's the man in the gray flannel suit, Adam...
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: ...with a syringe in his pocket.
D.A. Adam Schiff: When I'm in the dumps I have a scotch and put on Louis Armstrong.

Rey: A secret code for wrestlers?
Lennie: Maybe we get Vanna White in here.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: She took the cyanide from the lab, spiked Blake's hot sauce, then dumped it into her garden to protect her fig tree from squirrels.
Anita: And she knew he was gonna use the hot sauce for lunch?
Ed: Her LUDs show that on the day of the murder, she called Gideon's cell phone, and then she called the restaurant to make a reservation.
Anita: Well, if it was all about the money, why did she wait a year to kill him?
Ed: Revenge is a meal best served cold?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, especially if you got the hot sauce to cover up the stink.
Anita: Pick her up.

[first lines]
Announcer: [voiceover narration] In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups, the police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.

Detective: All I'm saying is an unwanted child already has 2 strikes against it.
Detective: [takes Lupo's keys out of the ignition] I was born 2 months premature, my mom was single, poor, scared, at 7 months she threw herself down a flight of stairs.
Detective: [somberly] So I almost had a different partner.
Detective: That's all I'm saying.
[hands back his keys]

Tom: This is a nightmare. My life savings was in that club.
Lennie: Oh, really? I know twenty-three families who really don't give a damn.

Ian: May I ask you a question, sir? How, with the map of Donegal on your mug, did you ever end up with a name like Stone?
Ben: Happenstance, sir. Same way you ended up with the name of a real Irish patriot.,

Willard: [negotiating deal in exchange for his testimony] My memory is **dreadful**, especially when I'm anxious about the future!

Jack: Alice Simonelli doesn't sound Hispanic.
Abbie: Bay Ridge Italian. She joined the Paganos in prison. It's an equal-opportunity street gang.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: That was the spookiest bunch I ever saw.
Jack: The whole family's worried, about inconveniencing Dad.

Car: [referring to the Mercedes convertible] What would it take to get you into this car, Detective?
Detective: Next week's lotto numbers.

Detective: I'll tell you one thing: I ain't never heard a woman talk so good about a man who done her so bad.

Connie: [to Gregg] What was your relationship to Molly Preston?
Gregg: Never met her.
Connie: There was something you saw on her webpage that scared you or why write: "Please take down this web page?"
Gregg: I don't remember, okay?
Connie: I can get a warrant to search your computer.
Gregg: Good luck. It's in a landfill somewhere. I just got a new laptop.
Connie: Gregg, this is a murder case.
Gregg: Not my problem.

Jack: You're a long way from the District Attorney's office.
Paul: Ben Stone once said I'd have to decide if I was a lawyer who was black or a black man who was a lawyer. All those years I thought I was the former. All those years I was wrong.

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Look, I'm not ruling anything out yet. I still need to do more x-rays, a tox screen. But don't hold your breath.
Ed: That's all I've been doing.
Lennie: So how long was she in the water?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: More than a month, less than two. I'm sorry I can't be more definitive. However, you see this?
[showing them an x-ray]
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: It's a hairline fracture. Right cheekbone and eye socket.
Ed: Somebody punched her in the face.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Yeah, probably broke her nose. At the very least, a hell of a shiner the next day.
Lennie: Tough to swim with a broken nose. No wonder she drowned.
Ed: You sure she didn't get that taking a header into the Hudson?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: No, this is a blow, not a fall. And a recent one. It hadn't started to heal.
Lennie: Well, until we hear different, we're gonna think of this as a homicide.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Can't hurt.

Danielle: [to a witness] You were scheduled to be deported, were you not? But in exchange for your testimony...
Ben: Objection! That's a lie!
Judge: Approach.
[They do]
Judge: All questions of fact will be for the jury to decide, Mister Stone.
Ben: If I'm slandered, Your Honor, I have to defend myself.
Judge: Ms. Melnick, any remarks which further provoke Mr. Stone will also provoke me - and you will regret it.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [after Curtis has had an altercation with McCoy outside the courtroom] What was that about?
Jack: He's just a little upset his wife's about to find out he had an affair on the evening news.
Detective: [to Curtis] I'm told you you should have gone to bed with her. You're getting the grief, you should have had the gravy.

Joe: This is illegal!
Max: [smiles] Sue us.

Frank: Last chance, babe. I'm leaving tomorrow.
Gia: [clearly not interested] How many times have I heard that?
Frank: Yeah, but this time I might not be coming back.
Gia: [hopeful] Promise?
Frank: Come on, Gia. You and me, it wasn't that bad, was it?
Gia: There was no "you and me". There was you, me, your cameraman, your producer, your three cell phones, and, uh... last but not least, your wife.
Frank: Yeah, I like to fill up my day.
Gia: Don't we all? Guess you haven't heard.
[showing him the ring on her finger]
Gia: I'm engaged.

Detective: I recognize the logo on this bra. Frisky Kitty; lingerie shop off Time's Square.
Detective: [his interest in how she knows piqued] Really?
Detective: I went there for my sister-in-law's bachelorette gift, but thanks for assuming I have crappy taste in lingerie.

Jack: In the end people will always trade privacy for safety.
Nora: That's the problem, you trade one for the other, and you could wind up with neither.

Bob: Sure I remember. Guy sticks a gun in my face, I'm gonna forget that?
Serena: According to his juvenile records, the police arrested a young man named Walter Grimes.
Bob: You're talking about that white kid, right?
Serena: He would have been about fifteen at the time.
Bob: He didn't do it. As far as I know, they never caught the kid that did.
Serena: But the police arrested him.
Bob: I told the officer... Daniels; his name was Daniels. I told Daniels the little pachuco who held me up was Hispanic. Daniels didn't believe me. But I saw what I saw.
Serena: Are you sure?
Bob: Sure I'm sure.
Serena: How come Officer Daniels didn't believe you? How come he arrested Walter Grimes?
Bob: You're gonna have to ask him.

Gus: [jogging on the beach with Grant, when the police stop Grant with a court order to get a blood sample] What's this all about?
Evan: They think I murdered Heidi Ellison.
Gus: Well, that's ludicrous! Officers, I can tell you that Evan has more compassion in one fingernail that all the characters I've ever played put together.

Shambala: Carla, this is very serious.
Carla: I know that! I'm accused of murdering my own daughter, isn't that it?
Paul: Yes. Yes, you are. We have a witness who saw you roughing Dierdre up that night, but only you and your husband know which of you hit her. Maybe you didn't hit her. Maybe your husband...
Carla: Nobody hit Didi.
Paul: Okay. Pushed her down. Maybe she wouldn't stop crying, so he picked her up and h...
Carla: He picked her up.
Paul: And then he threw her?
Carla: And then he laid hands on it.
Paul: What do you mean?
Carla: To fix it. To make it better. Jacob says that healing is a matter of adjusting your mind to God's will.

Lennie: We're checking open homicides to see if this crescent moon thing crops up.
Anita: His daughter's got a point. Who'd hire a hit for a part time carriage driver?
Ed: Hey, Ident section faxed over Tortino's rap sheet.
Lennie: Yeah, his boss said he'd been away.
Ed: He didn't tell us he did two of a possible ten at Ossining.
Anita: For bookmaking?
Ed: Huh. Burglarly, grand larceny one, possession of stolen goods, assault.
Lennie: It's important to diversify.

Eric: I found out about Dana Baker the same day you did, when Drake's column ran in the newspaper.
Jack: Actually, I found out when her corpse landed on a police car.

[last lines]
Alexandra: Thank you for keeping my promise for me.
Jack: You're welcome. Don't do it again!

D.A. Adam Schiff: I never thought I'd get a letter of resignation from you. I thought you'd be here long after I was gone.
[reveal to show he's talking to Ben Stone]

Lt. John Flynn: [after shooting drug dealer] You make them when you have to, right, Lennie?
Detective: Dead on.

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: It's called omen formation. These kids want to have a sense of control over the terrible event they witnessed, so they come to believe that they dreamed it before it happened.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Then they feel guilty because they didn't do anything to stop it.
A.D.A. Toni Ricci: Poor kid gets it coming and going.
Jack: Would he recognize the killers?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: He said he could.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Do you think it's healthy putting him through the witness grinder?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: He told me he wants to help the police punish the bad guys. It might give him closure.

Enrico: I didn't want to be around when those nuns got here; they know karate.

[about a mother kicking her drug-addict daughter out on the streets]
Det. Lennie Briscoe: So, the mother should've allowed her daughter to shoot the family fortune into her arm?
Det. Mike Logan: Would you kick your daughter out just to save the family fortune?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: My daughter could go through my family fortune in a day and a half.

Detective: Sheryl, do you know why he was in prison?
Sheryl: I was, like, in grammar school when that happened. If it happened.
Det. Joe Fontana: So, uh, you're not worried about any of this?
Sheryl: About what?
Detective: Okay, listen. We're gonna give you a card. If you need anything.
Sheryl: What would I need?
Detective: How did you two meet?
Sheryl: Oh, uh, I read an article about him, and then I wrote him a letter, and he wrote back. So I looked him up on the Corrections Department website. They even had a map and instructions.
Det. Joe Fontana: Must have made visiting day a snap.
Sheryl: Yeah, well, we just wanna put this all behind us. You know, get married, get on with our lives. Jake's so good with my kids.
Detective: You have kids?
Sheryl: Yeah, a boy and girl. They've been so happy since he moved in with us.
Det. Joe Fontana: Wait a second. This guy is living with you?
Sheryl: Since he left the halfway house.
Det. Joe Fontana: Well, what the hell is the matter with you? If you want to screw up your own life, be our guest, it's a free country. But to bring this guy into your house with your kids?

E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [referring to the doctor] Jesus had His Judas, and he's not Jesus.

Cookie: I don't remember anything, after I got out of my car. After thirty years, nothing. The - the doctor said it was the shock; I say it was God's way of healing.
Detective: Well, that's a - that's a good way of looking at it.

Detective: I had two daughters. One of them was murdered.
James: Because she turned state's evidence in a drug case?
Detective: She was gonna testify against a dealer.
James: So she was selling drugs herself?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Objection!
Judge: Overruled.
Detective: [reluctantly admitting it] Yeah, she was selling drugs.
James: And as her father, under Mr. McCoy's theory, shouldn't you be held criminally responsible for her drug dealing?
Detective: Criminally responsible? No. But I didn't give her the pills and teach her how to sell them.

Trial: Before this court adjourns, I want to note for the record that I am appalled. We often say that public officials are not above the law. But that's not enough. They serve the law. If they don't respect it, who will? Court is adjourned.

Lucy: My sister's life, Mr. McCoy? My sister lived in Terre Haute, Indiana. She stapled papers in an insurance office. My sister didn't have a life.

Connie: You don't win, Jack, I'm out of here into private practice.
Jack: I'll join you. McCoy and Rubirosa, no client too guilty.
Connie: Er, Rubirosa and McCoy
Michael: Can't I come too?
Jack: [Shaking his head] Someone has to watch the store.

[last lines]
Ben: She uses an out-of-date prison library and her work is better than anything I've seen from a Wall Street law firm.
Adam: "The truth is ugly, so we put our prophets in prison."
Ben: Oscar Wilde?
Adam: Charles Manson.

Michael: The First Amendment is not a license to be reckless.
D.A. Jack McCoy: But it is the First Amendment. The next time you decide to charge a member of the press with a felony, call me.

Detective: [to Lucy] Plead guilty to Man-1, do 15 years, marry Jesse, have some babies, and be free. Your dad won't be your legal guardian anymore, and you'll get to do what *you* want to do.

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: And it appears you didn't listen to the indictment, either. Your client confessed.
Vanessa: Query: when is a confession not a confession? Answer: when it's coerced.
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: He signed his Miranda warnings.
Vanessa: That's right, in English. As you well know, my client is hardly fluent.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: That's ridiculous, Vanessa!
Vanessa: Jack, I was talking.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: And how is that different than when I was talking?
Vanessa: Because I'm a lady.
[handing him a folded blue paper]
Vanessa: Here's my motion to exclude. And if you feel like loosening the knot in the old boxers, you know where to find me. Come on, Migel.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [as they leave, he hands the motion to Serena] Call Briscoe or Green or whoever screwed this up.

Detective: [to Green] Digging into a teenage rape victim?
Detective: Due diligence. Old school.

D.A. Adam Schiff: She has a knack for being in two places at once. Dunbar's apartment, and the tour bus. How do you think she pulled that off?

D.A. Nora Lewin: How's our case?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: We've had better.
Jack: The shot that killed Kearsey came from Miller's girlfriend's apartment. We can put Miller inside.
D.A. Nora Lewin: Any witnesses? A gun?
Jack: Neither one.
D.A. Nora Lewin: Any chance for a deal?
Jack: You make a deal for manslaughter, you break faith with every cop in the city.

Detective: Sit your ass down!

Executive: Emily Willick was suffocated with a pillow. Did her mother hold the pillow, or did her father? It doesn't really matter. Because the one who watched, who didn't rip the pillow away - who didn't fight tooth and nail for Emily's life - is equally guilty.

Cyrus: I love this chili.
Kevin: You expect me to ride in the car with you after you had 2 bowls of that stuff?

Jack: I'm a pretty good trial lawyer, Miss Goddard. I don't get surprised that often.

Claire: Manning requested copies of the same data Weiss wanted to look at.
Adam: Perfect. First he torpedoes Weiss's idea, then he steals it.

Eric: [referring to his co-op application] I was turned down because I run this establishment. Only ten adult bookstores left in Times Square, and I'm the only owner born in this country.
Detective: Well I hate to burst your red white and blue bubble, Mr Hoffman, but you were turned down because you lied on your application.
Eric: I told them I was in the entertainment business. You see these videos? That's entertainment!
Detective: You know I don't see "Hello, Dolly!" up there.

Jack: I'm sorry, but last time I checked, 'stupid' is not a defense to murder.

Michael: You didn't think telling her he was gonna shoot her would come back to bite us in the ass?
Cyrus: We needed to find the guy. That was item one on the agenda.
Michael: Well, item two is gonna be watching him walk out of jail.
Ed: We still have the surveillance video of him hauling the victim into the hotel.
Michael: You can't see his face.
Cyrus: But you can see his clothes, and we found those clothes at another one of his cribs.
Connie: We still have the victim's blood in the room Tito was in.
Michael: Melinda's room, and he claims Melinda killed her. Could raise reasonable doubt.
Ed: Melinda didn't rape and sodomize that girl.
Michael: Look, I'm not saying the guy didn't do it. I just want enough evidence to nail him six times over. If he walks, I'm gonna feel like an accomplice the next time he does this.

Detective: Lock his ass up.

Mike: 14 shots from under 10 feet away.
Paul: Somebody wanted to be sure.

Claire: Logan doesn't deserve this. I mean, you were there. I wanted to punch Crossley myself!
Jack: But you didn't. And the federal prosecutor in Oklahoma isn't going to punch anybody, either. It's called the rule of law. Otherwise, what's the point?
Claire: So what do you think will happen to him?
Jack: He'll be walking a beat in Staten Island for two-and-a-half to five. He'll be fine.

Rey: Now my partner, he's a patient man. Me, I get pissed off real easy, especially when I'm lied to.
Ted: I told you already, I didn't kill that cop.
Rey: The more you lie, the more impatient I get.
Ted: Well, I suggest a change of underwear.

Ed: It looks like half the AMA invested. You'd think a brain surgeon would know better.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I'll see your brain surgeon and raise you two allergists and a pediatrician.
Ed: I got to admit, Mapes must have been good. There's some heavy hitters in here. An oncologist.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I got a couple of those.
Ed: You got one named Allison?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: As in Dr. Allison who missed her lunch date with Gideon Blake?
Ed: She invested in a shopping center in Flagstaff, Arizona. Lost half a million dollars.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Now, that could make somebody mad enough to kill.

Detective: Some guy loses his life savings to Tappan, then Kopinsky comes along and licks the plate. I'd wanna kill him, too!

Rey: I'm telling you, my daughters aren't going to be old enough to marry until they graduate college.
Lennie: Well, I'm not old enough to marry and I'm a grandfather.

Ben: The statute also covers threats to damaged property. And if, as you state, a fetus is not a person at any point in its gestation...
Judge: I don't want to hear the end of that argument, Ben.
Ben: I understand, Your Honor. But this case...
Judge: Deserves to leave skid marks on the bowl.
Jane: Thank you.
Judge: Don't hold a tickertape parade just yet, Miss Schuman I'm going to let the state take its case to a jury.
Jane: This is ridiculous.
Judge: If I get reversed, so be it. But I have a feeling your client is exactly the sort a panel of judges would love to use to make new law.

Arraignment: Do we have a plea?
Steven: Not guilty, your Honor.
Arraignment: Paul?
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The defendant savagely murdered an elderly woman, your Honor.
Arraignment: Wait, wait, wait, wait: it says here now that Mrs. Spiegleman was 61.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: That's correct your honor.
Arraignment: My 61st birthday, you were cramming for a torts exam. I'd advise you to choose your adjectives a little more courteously. Counsel?
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: The People request bail at 500,000.
Sally: My client can hardly afford cab fare to Brooklyn your Honor. Why not make it a million?
Arraignment: Why not?
[pauses and smiles]
Arraignment: And they say the elderly lose their sense of humor.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: [grins wryly]
Arraignment: Bail is set at 250 cash or bond. Next.

John: The offender has a job that affords him mobility and unsupervised time. He's single, lower-middle-class, lives alone or with a domineering female. Now, this is the most important point.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [sarcastically] Good.
John: The offender was known to the victim. The victim's silence was insured by a credible threat to the victim, a member of the family or favorite pet. Now, investigative strategies. I suggest deep background checks on former nannies, housekeepers...
Lt. Anita Van Buren: [interrupts] My detectives are already on that.
John: I suggest checking their boyfriends and male relatives. I also suggest releasing a statement that you are close to identifying the offender. This strategy has proved successful...
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Why don't we just let Mr. Drake leak it to the media?
Defense: I resent that.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: I'm sure you do. Who paid for all this?
Defense: My clients paid for this.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Well, does Mr. Law know that your clients haven't been ruled out as suspects?
John: I've ruled them out. 100%.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Well, thank you for coming.
[Drake and Law leave, Van Buren tosses the "profile" in her wastebasket]

Jack: When we served the school with the subpoena, he's the one who assured us of their full cooperation.
Claire: Instead, the school circled the limos to keep the Barclay name out of it.
Adam: [Dryly] I'm shocked.
Jack: This isn't stink bombs in the boy's room Adam, they hindered prosecution of an A felony.
Adam: Now I'm very shocked.

ADA: Defense attorneys distort the facts. They twist evidence. They will not only go to the mat for their clients, they will take that mat and toss it out the window as far as they can. They are not bound by the truth. They are bound to obfuscate it if it serves to get their clients acquitted. And they should be commended for it, and it is what makes the system work.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Who's your judge?
E.A.D.A. Ben Stone: Wally Schrieber.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Hmm... thinks the inclusion laws were written in Heaven, not Albany.

DA: This defense lawyer makes suspects out of your own witnesses. Are we lucky this isn't on TV.

Mrs. Lasky: The doctor put four embryos inside of me. Two of them started to grow, but they found a problem with my heart. It was dangerous to for me to carry *one* baby. They call it selective reduction, nice way to put it. I won't tell my little girl that I aborted her twin sister.

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: [after the Quinns have taken a plea bargain for 2-6 years in jail] I just got off with Animal Control. The dog was put down.
Jack: The Quinns' trial was the only thing keeping it alive.
D.A. Nora Lewin: Abused, tortured, and now destroyed.
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Almost makes you wish you could reverse the sentences.

[last lines]
Serena: Twelve years in Ossining.
Jack: At least he'll have plenty of food. Shelter.
Serena: Careful, Jack. That almost sounded like sympathy.
Jack: Don't get me wrong. He killed a man for an orange. He deserves to be in prison.
Serena: But?
Jack: We just moved him from one jungle to another.

Gwen: Would Ann Bennett have been in considerable pain if she'd taken traditional cancer treatments?
Dr. Alan Friedlan: It *is* major surgery.
Gwen: Followed by chemotherapy and radiation. Isn't it true that with that comes the side effects of hair loss, weight gain and excessive vomiting?
Dr. Alan Friedlan: It's controllable, and it's not fatal.
Gwen: Oh, yes it is, to the dignity. Thank you.

Jack: Mr. Dworkin is a first-rate attorney. Hell, he's a magician. He put the facts into a box, sawed the box in half, and out popped thousands of years of the most despicable hatred known to man. Like any good magician, he kept you busy with what he was saying, hoping you wouldn't notice what he was doing with his hands; hoping you wouldn't catch him trying to hide a corpse, trying to make a murdered man disappear. I'm betting you saw through the trick. So the only question is will you pretend it worked, or will you make this illusion disappear? One bookie killed another bookie; that's it. Period. The defense hardly bothers to say otherwise. Mr. Dworkin just now all but said his client killed Mr. Meeks. Not once did he claim Mr. Strelzik was innocent. Like I say, he's a good attorney. He knows no one would believe him. Instead he had the deeply offensive idea to use your sympathy for Israel to put a killer back on the street. Mr. Dworkin wants you to choose culture over citizenship. Visceral hatred over codified laws; he's counting on at least one of you saying to himself "I'm a Jew first, and only after that an American." I asked you back when you were selected for this job whether you could look at the facts presented without passion or prejudice, and each one of you swore under oath that you could. I know it's hard, but if you don't, all of this is meaningless.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [Referring to the murder weapon] ... and guess who it was registered to?
Ben: Himes, Gilbert?
Detective: Nope. And not to Ralston, Janet, either.
Ben: [Surprised] Ralston, Alan?
[Leans his head in his hands]
Ben: Great. He was killed with his own gun.

Detective: We had a deal, you son of a bitch!

Professor: [describing man at the scene of the murder] Mid-to-late 20s, uh, brownish hair, "entitled".
Detective: Entitled to what?
Professor: To everything.

Judge: You're moving to preclude this defense, Mr. McCoy?
Jack: Your Honor, it's ridiculous. Under Mr. Fallon's theory, every ex-con would have a dense for murder.
Rodney: But we're not talking about men who were criminals before going to prison. We're talking about a man who was completely innocent before being sent to Green Haven, and was profoundly and irrevocably changed, and not for the better by the experience.
Serena: And prison erased his sense of right and wrong?
Rodney: In a manner of speaking, yes. It maimed him. It dehumanized him. It replaced traditional notions of right and wrong with a "kill or be killed" reflex that led, tragically, to Brendan Donner's death.
Jack: That doesn't meet the New York standard, Your Hononr. Either Mr. Grimes didn't know what was doing was wrong or he didn't understand the nature of his behavior. Simply reacting to a perceived threat because he thought he was in a hostile environment doesn't cut it.
Serena: He wasn't in prison. He was in a bar, Your Honor. He completely overreacted.
Rodney: Exactly. Walter Grimes completely overreacted because of how his prison experience shaped him.
Judge: You have an expert who'll back your theory, Mr. Fallon?
Rodney: I've got five of them, Your Honor.
Judge: Fax their C.V.s over to me. If they're credible, I'm inclined to let this go to a jury.

Detective: You're just lucky your kids are grown. Sorry, sorry about that. Sorry about that.
Detective: You're just lucky you never had any.

Margot: What do a sperm cell and a lawyer have in common?
Claire: Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. There's a law: you pass the bar, you gotta stop telling lawyer jokes.
Margot: Why? Who better knows the truth?
Claire: Yeah, we're contentious, arrogant, too smart for our own goods, anal, expensive, theoretical, knee deep in minutiae. Not exactly the life we thought we were getting into.
Margot: You ever think about quitting?
Claire: Yeah, right. We'll open a flower shop.
Margot: Why not? You don't have to lie to suspects, and I don't have to represent guys like Weber.
Claire: I'm allergic, and neither one of us knows how to read a balance sheet.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: [the detectives are looking through P.K. Todd's fan mail] Oh, this is lovely: "You write worse than an uneducated trout."
Detective: If I was the fish, I'd take offense.

Antonio: Mr. Dobson was a man; he had a woman on the side.
Detective: Is that another custom in your country?
Antonio: Not just in my country.

Richard: Taking a human life was the hardest thing I've ever done.
[chuckles bitterly]
Richard: not that it made any difference. I'll never escape the past. I know that now. Thanks for trying. Goodbye.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Forget it, Serena. No jury in the world will convict Little Orphan Annie.

Claire: You two sound like you feel sorry for him.
Adam: I don't feel sorry for him, I feel sorry for me, and every other married man going home tonight.

Detective: [looking at the body of the judge] Not the verdict he was looking for.

Artie: It *is* reality TV.
Executive A.D.A. Michael Cutter: It's *called* reality anyway.

Patricia: My mother couldn't decide if I was Martha Graham or Helen Hayes.
Phil: Who were you?
Patricia: I was Patty Blaine. So I got out before I wasn't.

Michael: She's lying. She's been saying she faked that book to save abused children, but it's making a fortune. And this puts her back in business. Larson's lawyer probably brokered the deal.
Jack: Maybe. But she just shot your motive to hell. Sweetie Ness had no reason to kill someone he'd hired to impersonate himself.
Michael: Cody Larson isn't Sweetie Ness.
Jack: Drops his pants to the jury and shows the burns on his butt, they might believe he is.
Michael: Are you enjoying this?
Jack: Enjoying? Watching my prosecutors lose control of their witnesses in their case? That's not the word that leaps to mind.

Adam: Any evidence that this was forcible rape?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: No.
Adam: Then where is their motive for murder?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Ethan had motive - jealousy; he had sex with Christy first and comes back and finds her with Nick.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: And Nick slept with his fiance's underage sister, she tells anyone it might put the kibosh on the wedding plans.
Adam: Two motives, one possible killer, pick one.

Danielle: [to Stone] You've been humiliated in court once and that was with a Ph.D. on the stand. Can you imagine what happens with a psychopath and a drug addict? Please, Ben, drop the charges against Dr. Merritt. Consider saving your own career.
Ben: When I was a boy, I collected baseball cards and there was this one kid who convinced me to trade a Duke Snider for a Gene Hermanski. He said it was a good deal.
Danielle: What the hell does that mean?
Ben: I learned the hard way. For a deal to be good, there has to be equal consideration and there's no way you can cough up enough consideration to justify a deal for him.

Detective: [after phoning a cruise ship looking for Ruth Thomas] They can't find her.
Detective: Maybe she's on the poop deck.

Jack: I talked to the ADA in Brooklyn. He's under a lot of pressure to make drug cases. He can't be seen playing favorites.
Detective: So it's Cathy's bad luck that she's the daughter of a white cop. This ADA, can't you... scratch his back a little bit?
Jack: I offered to beg off on a couple of cases with concurrent jurisdiction. He turned me down. I got nothing else to offer him. He's a dog with a bone.
Detective: Yeah, the bone happens to be my kid.
Jack: I know, Lennie. I'm sorry.
Detective: Thanks anyway.

Detective: [referring to Peterson] You didn't happen to overhear what he was talking about on his phone, did you?
Gianni: [sarcastically] Sure! I became the most popular restaurant in Soho by listening to my customers' conversations and telling the police.

Richard: I picked up the coins the day before
Jack: And hid them in your sock drawer?
Francis: So, he'll plead to, uh, "unusual storage in the first degree".

Lieutenant: [referring to hitman] Anything on his phone tap?
Detective: His wife making arrangements for their daughter's ballet lessons
Lieutenant: So Mom takes care of the kids, and Dad goes off to work and kills people.

Connie: Goodwin's agreed to a meeting. I got to tell you, Mike, I think the judge made the right call.
Michael: Ever since she pushed Amelia into that pool, Sandra Talbot's done nothing but lie and obfuscate, and now her reward's a green light to maim her child.
Connie: It's not our business anymore. Besides, there are no clean hands here.
Michael: Sometimes it's hard to know what justice is, but you have to do something. You just have to try and save who you can save.

Detective: [reading suspect's description] White male with red hat... it's too early for Christmas.

[Discussing Arthur Branch, the new DA]
Jack: Nice fella.
ADA: And his politics?
Jack: Nice fella.

Mrs. Sofia Dementev: My husband isn't afraid. I'm not afraid. We're not murderers. You can't put us in prison forever.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: You could lose your business.
Mrs. Sofia Dementev: So we make another business. It's not first time.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Really? Big demand for electricians in Moscow?
Mrs. Sofia Dementev: What do you mean, "Moscow?"
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Immigration Reform Act of 1996. We'll go over your books, your tax returns. If we find one decimal point out of place, you're on a plane back to the cheese lines in Red Square.
Mrs. Sofia Dementev: But we have a green card.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: I'm sure you'll get a lot of rubles for it on the black market.

Detective: [watching surveillance footage] The last time I spent this much time in a principal's office I left with a 2-day suspension.
Detective: I couldn't sit down for a week.
Principal: [enters] We need to bring back more punishments like that if you ask me.

Detective: Here's an energy-saving tip for you, Wayne. Don't run from the police.

Abbie: This report says the child was 2 and a half years old, Marian was 13 months. They autopsied the wrong kid, send it back.
ADA: Why don't you take yourself down and get acquainted with the medical examiner?
[cut to]
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: It's the same kid, bone age doesn't lie.

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: What's this guy Bergin teach anyway?
Detective: English.
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Good. I was afraid it was political science. You know, all that nonsense about the Bill of Rights and stuff like that.

Mr. Axtell: Mr. Panatti asked my client if he knew of a reasonable person who would believe him. Mr. Schiff is a reasonable person. I think his views are admissible as rebuttal.
Judge: Overruled. Go ahead, Mr. Axtell.
Mr. Axtell: Petitioner's refusal to indict defendant on first-degree murder led to his removalo. Using his prosecutorial discretion, petitioner concluded there was insufficient evidence of intent to commit robbery to sustain a charge of first-degree murder. I have nothing further.

Woman: Three kids home with the flu for a week!
Detective: Yeah, I know how it is.
Woman: No, you don't. You get to go to work.
Detective: [to Briscoe, after leaving the woman's apartment] Remind me to buy flowers for Deborah tonight.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: Hey, you did all right in there, sweetheart.
Cathy: Don't you get it, dad? My life is over. I'm not gonna be able to get a job. I'm always gonna be known as the meth addict nurse who stole drugs for her dope-dealer boyfriend.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Why don't you come and stay with me for a while 'till you get back on your feet, huh?
Cathy: Dad, please! Did you hear what I just said?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Honey, people make mistakes and start over all the time. I did.
Cathy: Thanks. But right now, I feel like you made a mistake having me in the first place.

Adam: Blame it on the CIA. They haven't been fingered in years.

Ben: Ms. Fermi, the jury made a mistake. The system let you down. I'm sorry.
Andrea: So am I, Mr. Stone.

Adam: I LOVE cases where a homicidal gun dealer is our best witness.

Captain: [watching interrogation] Little nose-wipe's holding up.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Why not? We don't even have enough to hold him for stealing time from Ma Bell.

Detective: You know Tina was seeing Ruffino, too, right?
Christoff: I didn't like it, but I was in no position to tell her what to do.
Detective: Does he know about you?
Christoff: I don't think so. Wait a minute, you don't think that's why he might've tried to bump me off, do you?
Detective: [sarcastic] Hmm, let me take a guess... yeah, it's a thought.

Colonel: I'm a Colonel and a Senator, and I do not recognize your right to judge me.

Neil: [to Ross] I don't know which I'm going to enjoy more: seeing Newman go free, or seeing you lose.
[to the barman]
Neil: Two vodka martinis.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Is it all about me?
Neil: You know I'm over that.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Of course! I've seen your new associate.
Neil: Harvard Law Review...
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: And a round butt, just the way you like them.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [to Valerie] They told you it was a game? What game did they say it was?
Valerie: Sex
Det. Rey Curtis: And that was okay?
Valerie: I told them I couldn't because Dad says sex is for when you're in love.
Det. Rey Curtis: Then what did they do?
Valerie: They laughed a lot. They said they loved me.

Jessica: So that's the bastard, huh?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Now that's the Jessica I remember.

Serena: Dinner?
Detective: Kellogg says he had steaks with Maas.
Serena: Yeah? Who paid?
Detective: My money's on the guy with the New York Sentinel expense account.
Serena: So what you're telling me is Kellogg knew Maas was a fugitive and aided his escape.
Detective: Hold on. You want to charge a reporter with accessory after?
Serena: If it'll help him convince him to help us locate Maas, why not?

Detective: You're gonna take the word of a dope dealer over a cop?
Detective: Wearing a badge doesn't make you a cop.

Sharon: My client would have surrendered, Mr. Stone. The humiliation of a public arrest was hardly called for.
EADA: I'm sorry, I missed the "Emily Post" chapter on the "etiquette of arrest.

Cally: I know you. Wait a minute... don't tell me, I'll get it. You collared me, long time ago. I was a kid.
Lennie: 47th Street and 12th Avenue. I was walking a beat in Hell's Kitchen. And you were playing with matches for fun and profit.
Cally: Hey, like I told the judge at the time, I just happened to have that gas can in my hand. You waltzed in, slapped the cuffs on me, and put me in the paddy wagon. I guess you can't say paddy wagon anymore, huh? Politically incorrect.
Ed: That's cute. From arson to murder.
Cally: Your friend doesn't understand the lubricating value of small talk, does he?
Lennie: What can I say? He's a social liability.

Jackie: [half to herself] Pick a lane.
D.A. Arthur Branch: [turns around] Hmm?
Jackie: The old man used to say to me, "Jacks...life is like a street. Like a dangerous New York City street. You pick a lane. And don't you let *anybody* cut you off." You can't cut me off, Arthur. I won't let you.
D.A. Arthur Branch: I don't have to.

Jack: Maybe she was just downright bad.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: You actually believe that?
Jack: With all due respect to your profession, Liz, I think it's been overplayed in the courtroom.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: So people are just good or bad, period.
Jack: It's better than healthy or sick. Deny evil, you deny responsibility. Open up the jails. Send everyone to a shrink.

Barrington: The clientele at Rock Ridge insists on anonymity.
Detective: Look, pal, it's been a very long day. Will you just please give us the name?
Barrington: Please don't raise your voice, sir.
Detective: Don't tell me not to raise my voice. We've come all the way up here from New York.
Barrington: It doesn't matter if you came all the way from the Vatican. We don't release the names of our clientele.
Detective: Hey, look here, before my partner smacks you, let me show you what kind of work your clientele does.
[showing Barrington pictures of Emily]
Detective: This is before. This is after.

Detective: So, Dr. Brody, tell me a story.
Assistant: What we've got here is one very dead lady.
Detective: You went to school for that?
Assistant: [sheepishly annoyed] Made Mom proud.

Claire: You had insight into proton decay, and Edward Manning stole it. Do you want the rest of the scientific community to know this, or not?
Max: You don't understand. I don't care about scientific reputation; I care about science.

Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: I know the difference between being examined and being molested.

Detective: Hannah Mayer didn't make to work today.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Good for her. Who?

Luke: [to Bernard] Can I go be with Patrick now?
Kevin: First, we're going to have to call your parents, so, I'm going to need a number.
Luke: I want to talk to the other policeman.
Kevin: My partner? What do you want to talk to him about?
Luke: He's just more like me.
Kevin: So, you mean he's more slim? Or more white? Do I scare you because I'm black?

Rodney: So far, the New York Exoneration Project has gotten almost fifty innocent people released, and we're looking at hundreds of other cases.
Detective: And I'll bet each and every one of them didn't do it.
Rodney: Oh, well, obviously they're not all innocent. But even if a single one is, don't you think it's our obligation to see to it that they don't spend a minute longer in jail?
Detective: I bet you can count the number of guys in jail who are genuniely innocent on one hand. You know how many felonies the average criminal commits before he gets caught, let alone convicted?
Rodney: I'm well aware of the police statistics.
Detective: It's about the same as the number of times you speed on the throughway without getting a ticket.
Rodney: So what you're saying, detective, we shouldn't try to exonerate defendants who were wrongly convicted?
Detective: Yeah, sure we should try, but just don't tell me they're all innocent.

Marie: Oh Mary, Mother of God!
Det. Mike Logan: [hearing Marie's screams over the phone] Marie? Marie! MARIE!

Detective: [as he cuffs and arrests a whining suspect] You have the right to remain silent... PLEASE!

D.A. Adam Schiff: [after the US district court has ruled that federal plea bargains are illegal] Preposterous decision. Hogties every federal prosecutor in the country. And, thanks to you, we're part of it.
Jack: The decision will be reversed on appeal. Six months from now. By then Dietrich and the other two will be on death row.
D.A. Adam Schiff: ...or your letter of resignation will be on my desk.
Abbie: [pointing to wall of McCoy's office] My longhorn pennant will look good over there.

Detective: I have a little niece who's retarded, you ask her in the wrong tone to clear the table and she's Frisbeeing the plates.

D.A. Adam Schiff: The Grueskovs make the Colombians look like the von Trapp family.

Detective: This isn't church. Church is stain glass windows and nuns running around with rulers.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: The gospel according to Logan.

Richard: This is a waste of my valuable time. I'm gonna have my lawyers make a complaint to the chief of police.
Detective: Hey, how come you rich guys always have to have your lawyers do your talking for you?

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [barging in on Gorton's defense conference] You son of a bitch!
Neil: I take it you got my notice.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [rips up child custody notice and flings it on table] Yes. Here it is!
Neil: Not a legally persuasive argument, counselor. We have a custody arrangement; you're in breach.

Lennie: So, this broker...
Ed: Cary Stillman.
Lennie: Just happens to know Tortino and the guy who had him whacked? Small world.
Ed: Hey, man, that may mean nothing.
Lennie: Or it does and we just don't know what yet.

[last lines]
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Baby's dead, and no one's responsible.
D.A. Adam Schiff: No one was responsible when it was alive, either.
Jack: Warren Talbert's still in jail. We could get him for obstruction of justice, destruction of evidence.
D.A. Adam Schiff: [wearily] We got beat. Just send him home to his family.

Judge Herman Mooney: [after an attorney's tirade] Please, Mr. Rothenburg, I have enough trouble breathing the air *in*side.

Adam: Little girl killers?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: You don't believe it because they wear knee-socks and pigtails?

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Mr. Chandler.
Eddie: Eddie, as in Eddie Munster.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: You don't seem to be taking this serious at all.

Laura: [being snotty and self righteous towards the detectives] Know what? I should call *Bob*.
Detective: Who's Bob?
Laura: My dad's *lawyer*.
Detective: Well you know something? I'm wondering why you would think you *need* a lawyer.

Kostas: This lady, she was putting up a fight. The guy pulls a gun and just pops her. Bang.
Ed: Because she wouldn't get out of the car?
Kostas: Looked like. This city's a cesspool. Two years ago, guy comes into my shop, points a gun. Give him whatever he wants. Nothing's worth your life.
Ed: Those are words to live by.
Detective: Or die by.

Janet: You don't scare me, Mr. Stone.
Ben: Oh yes I do, Mrs. Ralston. I scare you a great deal. And I should.

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: He blindsided a half-witted judge on behalf of the head of a mob family. You're acting like it was some kind of noble cause.
Jack: It's part of the game.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: Excuse me? Last I looked, it was about justice.
Jack: That's merely a by-product. Boy Scouts seek it, effective prosecutors do their best to avoid thinking about it.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: And what do they think about?
Jack: Winning, period.

Detective: [answering his cellphone, about to go home after the dealing with three murders and one kidnapping in one day] We've got a jumper!
Detective: I may join him.
[cut to closing credits]

Dr. Beth Allison: Does it really take a platoon to search my small apartment?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Well, it won't take long.
Dr. Beth Allison: I'm telling you, you're wasting your time.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Oh, I've made a career out of that.

Shambala: We're pleading temporary insanity.
Ben: What, yours or your client's?

Mr. Gaines: Congressman Eaton would like to make a brief statement, Your Honor.
Judge: With all due respect to Congressman Eaton, he has no business in this court, Mr. Gaines.
Mr. Gaines: Justice silenced is justice denied, Your Honor.
Judge: [Brief, deeply annoyed pause] Congressman Eaton, go ahead sir.
Congressman Ronald Eaton: [Stands up] Your Honor, for the record I'd like to state an overwhelming sense of disappointment at the court's handling of this affair, and I would...
Judge: Excuse me, *sir*. Yours and Mr. Gaines's clear implication is that I have been sitting here oppressing black Americans, and I will not have it! And while I'm on the subject, this court would like to advise the defendants: in my legal opinion, you have had reprehensible and irresponsible advice from their retained counsel. I hope you take what time has been granted to fully examine the situation and purge the contempt citation! This court does not relish having you spend one hour in jail for what it perceives to be the self-serving actions of others!

[last lines]
D.A. Arthur Branch: Well, at least at his allocution, Landen apologized to the entire Muslim community.
ADA: Olivet was right. He wasn't a true believer. He was just a humiliated adolescent.
D.A. Arthur Branch: All in all, I'd say we're damn lucky this was just one screwball kid.
Jack: Angry kid, full of rage. He was just looking for a target.
ADA: Isn't that what a terrorist is?
Jack: What's scary is how easy it is to create one.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [at arraignment] This is a case of attempted murder for hire, Your Honor. Defendant Muller hired defendant Philips, a professional hit man...
Arraignment: Professional, eh? Well, Mrs. Muller can use her refund to post bond!

Jack: The police checked phone records, Dobson's bank account, the store where Robin cashed his welfare checks. They intereviewed Dobson's friends, Robin's friends, the people at the club. They couldn't find any other connection, meeting, conversation between Dobson and Robin. Nothing.
Adam: You think it's just a coincidence the killer appeared at a club owned by the victim's husband?
Jack: No. But even if I could retry him, I couldn't convict. He didn't leave a trail.
Adam: Smart.
Jack: Lucky.
Adam: Or innocent.

Joe: [to Ross] What is wrong with you, lady? I mean, you think it's all right to rape crazy people?

Detective: [looking through a missing woman's apartment] Her wallet's here... makeup's on the night stand.
Detective: [in the bathroom] Toothbrush.
Detective: So we're looking for a girl with no makeup and fuzzy teeth.

Jack: If you're going to kill people, you shouldn't advertise the fact in your yearbook

John: Dr Barrett told me to sing when I'm scared.
Detective: He tell you to whistle when you stab naked girls?

Jack: So which devil do we make our deal with?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: The girl has motive. She is the one who didn't want the baby; killing it was probably her idea.
Jack: And the boy is probably the one who actually killed it and disposed of the body
D.A. Adam Schiff: Flipped a coin in my head, came up tails, talk to the boy.

Marcus: Now, see, y'all ain't got no probable cause to be searching my stuff like that. That's poison from the fruit tree.
[McCoy rolls his eyes]

Michael: What's so funny?
Jack: You're having your head handed to you by a pro.
Michael: We put a gun in Bradley's hand that proved his wife was ready to leave him.
Jack: Perception trumps facts. You need to get that witness back on the stand.
Connie: But she's a defense witness.
Jack: Who ran off the stand in fear. That hurts you more with the jury than anything she can say. When your car is skidding out of control, steer into the skid.

Sonja: [weeping under cross-examination by McCoy] My mother loved me!
Jack: How?
[Harlann continues weeping]
Jack: You were nothing to her. You were an accident.
Sonja: No! Stop!
Jack: She loved her son. Not you.
[Harlann continues weeping]

Lennie: The one time I got on a computer, I lost 27 straight games of solitaire.

Ed: Let me ask you something, Colonel. Do you know of any soldiers getting tattoos that say "business is good"?
Lt. Colonel Doug Denton: It's a slogan. Second half of one, anyway. Harcore members of the 81st put it on their left arm.
Lennie: Uh-huh. And, uh, what do they put on their right arm?
Lt. Colonel Doug Denton: "Killing is our business".
Ed: I can't wait 'till the press gets a hold of this.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: Even though you are a taxpayer, you know, we don't actually work for you personally.

Court: Docket number 86947, People v Martin Winston. Murder in the second degree.
Judge: How does the defendant plead?
Marty: I'm not guilty, Your Honor. And I'm appearing pro se.
Judge: You're a lawyer?
Marty: A litigator, but I'm sure I can master the intricacies of criminal law.
Judge: And ego's no substitute for common sense, counselor. But it's your funeral.

Ben: [to Andrea] Did you say the boys would like your costume if they liked little girls?
Andrea: It was a joke.
Ben: Gary will testify.
Andrea: So now it's not just my word against Ted and Joel's? It's against Gary, too? You don't want to go through with this.
Ben: Do you?

Detective: [to McCoy] I hear some judge threw out the tape.
Jack: We're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Detective: Which is?
Jamie: Motion to dismiss which we're going to lose.
Detective: The tape's out 'cause she lied about the first attack?
Jack: Yes.
Detective: I don't think she lied. I think the guy pushed her down the stairs.
Jamie: Did it occur to you to mention this sooner?
Detective: I didn't know there was going to be a problem.
Jamie: Do you have anything besides an opinion based on hindsight?
Detective: Twenty-eight years experience.

Sherri: [after the ferocious dog has been brought into the courtroom] You must have done something to him.
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: You mean something other than torturing him?

Jack: We screwed up, we're not supposed to screw up.
Jamie: You act like this is the first case you lost.
Jack: It's not, doesn't mean I have to like it. A murderer goes unpunished, it's bad for business.
Jamie: Laura Bergreen's not the first rich person to get away with murder... and she won't be the last.

Detective: [Arresting Kira outside his motel room] We're the Jacksons: I'm Jermaine, this is Tito. Now shut up!

Det. Lennie Briscoe: Can you think of anyone who'd want to hurt Ken?
Dory: Like did he have any enemies? We never even had friends, we were working all the time. I worked a double shift yesterday and never even saw him.

Mrs. Shelby: We believe in God's laws, not man's

Edgar: Mean looking. Fancy suit. Like Donald Trump.

Valerie: I was pissed. The girl kept ducking out of all the official tour activities.
Detective: As her host, that could have got you in trouble.
Valerie: That's what I told her, not that it did any good. The first day, she took off to meet up with someone and stayed out all night.
Detective: She tell you where she was going?
Valerie: No, but she was obviously partying. She showed up the next morning super hungover.
Detective: And you didn't report this to anyone?
Valerie: I wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't gonna narc on her. It sounded like she came from a really conservative family. So I guess it's not that surprising she wanted to have a little fun.
Detective: Why'd you two get in a fight?
Valerie: She was supposed to come with me to a class this morning, but she told me she had something she had to go do and asked me to cover for her again. So I let her have it.
Detective: But you still signed her in.
Valerie: [confused and a bit worried] Am I in trouble?
Detective: Did she mention who she was meeting up with?
Valerie: No, but I do know that whoever she met with that first day, she met them at Evo Café in Midtown. She needed my help figuring out how to get there.

Detective: [referring to Curtis's marital breakup] I thought if you said enough "Hail Mary"s, all was forgiven.
Detective: God forgives you, not your wife.

FBI: Nothing on these tapes is admissible in court.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: You couldn't get a search warrant?
FBI: The President of the United States said we didn't need one.

EADA: Mr. Bregman, in all my years as a prosecutor, you are possibly the stupidest criminal I have ever met.

Jack: I owe you.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Well, maybe not...
Jack: Were we sitting in the same courtroom? He sure as hell looked guilty to me.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: To me too, and that's the problem. You were all over him, Jack. He should've broken down.
Claire: He did.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: No, I mean he should've confessed under that much pressure. That's the typical response for a family annihilator.
Jack: Why the hell didn't you tell me this before?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Because you told me he would never take the stand.
Claire: So you're changing your opinion?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: I'm not saying he's innocent, I'm just qualifying my opinion. Look, Jack, I told you I was on shaky ground at the start of this.

Detective: [to Lundquist, after their dinner] Take this. It's my room key: 912. It's all yours!
[pause]
Detective: I'll stay with Lennie.
Detective: [after Curtis moves into his room] What! She wanted to shack up, and you turned her down?
Detective: I told her I was married.
Detective: Why? Rey, you should not disappoint this woman. She provided valuable information - and she looks great!

Ben: I want you to put Marty Lake back on the street.
Jerry: What for? So he can resume his service to the community?
Ben: As bad as Lake's crimes are, they pale by comparison to these murders.
Jerry: Ben, unless this advances my department's prosecutorial interests =
Ben: Jerry this is not about servicing anyone's body count.
Jerry: Well, my obligation is to keep scum like Marty Lake off the street.
Ben: And to protect the innocent.
Jerry: Do you have any idea of what kind of crap I'd get into if I went along with this?
Ben: You can always duck. I'll take the hit.
Jerry: If you've got a bullet-proof vest, Ben, then I hope you plan to sleep in it.

Max: You think she beat the kid up?
Mike: I don't know. I know she's nuts. The way she lay there primping herself, you know, it just made me want to puke.
Max: She has been slapped around pretty good. I'm not so sure she's to blame.
Mike: There are some women who provoke it. Come on, it's true. You think she cares diddly about those kids or anything else? Huh? Everything's a mirror to her. She holds a dying kid up to it and all she can see is herself and how it affects her. Now, you give her sympathy, she's gonna want to fight. You give her a fight, she's gonna want a kiss. You give her a kiss and I swear to God, she'll bite your tongue out.
Max: You, uh, you saw this on "Oprah" or what?
Mike: My mother. Yeah. She always said she was cut out for something greater than being the wife of a cop from the Lower East Side. God, she was she was a bottomless pit. It was always, "Give me your undivided attention!" But when the old man couldn't take it anymore and gave her a whack, then she'd turn around and whack me. She always got this look in her eye, you know, and then I saw it coming. Now this witch in here, she's got that same look.

Detective: It's better than Romper Room up there.

Ed: Hey, Lennie, he comes out this club loaded, he makes it around the corner, somebody starts shooting.
Lennie: Anybody see the shooter?
Ed: No. Looks like Elliott finally made it to a crime scene before we did.

Anita: [Briscoe is reading the vic's hate mail] What would you have done to him?
Detective: [innocently] Who, me?
Anita: Oh, please. I remember how mad you were after that game. And I don't recall any tears from "Who, me?" when the tabloids published Donner's address and phone number.
Detective: Okay, maybe that was a little bit over the line, but the idiot did earn himself a little grief.
Anita: He tried to catch a ball.
Detective: Which was still in play! Any real New York fan would have kept his hands in his pockets.

Chester: Don't I get a lawyer or something?
Detective: I'll bring you the Yellow Pages; they got pictures!

Captain: Did Oswald kill Kennedy? If he didn't, it's the greatest conspiracy in history and nobody said a word. 140 officers in that precinct. Nobody knew?
Detective: You stick your head out, it gets cut off. You gonna risk that for a gay cop?
Captain: All right, I'll call Internal Affairs.
Detective: They'll run into a wall so big, a jackhammer won't get through it.

Detective: We come down on her and we're wrong, we could be breaking up one very snooty couple. It might actually ruin my sleep for minutes.

James: I am a captain in Jabin's army!
Detective: Really? I was a corporal in Uncle Sam's.
James: I fought at the Kishon River.
Detective: Oh, you did? So, when you killed Linda Bowers and those other people, you were following orders, right?
James: The chattering people across the street. They're with the CIA too, aren't they?
Detective: This isn't the CIA, Jim, this is the 27th precinct of the New York City Police Department. You understand that?
James: [laughing] It's a hell of a system. It's a hell of a system. They drive touch-tone dialing to work and they're still hungry.
Detective: Right.
[pause]
Detective: I give up.
[exits: to Van Buren and Kincaid]
Detective: I think I need whatever he's supposed to be taking.

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [considering a new angle for the murder] I never did like chasing my tail.
Jack: But it's a lot of fun when you catch it.

Ben: [in Arabic] Burn! Burn!
Imam: [in Arabic] God bless the United States of America!

Kevin: A writer who doesn't leave a suicide note.
Cyrus: On the other hand, three chapters in five years? It'd make me suicidal.

Mike: Leslie Hart, you're under arrest for the murder of Josh Foster.
Leslie: Is this some kind of joke?
Phil: A sketch for your new show.

Ben: I don't think he's guilty of anything except being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Adam: Yeah, the last time I heard that story was from a man in Dallas 30 years ago. Next you're going to tell me Hexter thinks the CIA is setting him up.
Ben: If he IS a patsy, it's partly his fault, he won't give us a verifiable alibi.

Lennie: [about Denny] He told us he was out running, he just didn't mention it was from the crime scene.

Jack: Dean's not a bad sort, he's just morally opposed to hard work.

Narrator: [opening narration] On September 11th, 2001, New York City was ruthlessly and criminally attacked. While no tribute can ever heal the pain of that day, the producers of "Law & Order" dedicate this season to the victims and their families, and to the fire fighters and police officers, who remind us with their lives and courage what it truly means to be an American.

Jason: Oh, yeah, Mapes. Real estate fraud with a capital "F".
Ed: What'd he do?
Jason: You seen that play "The Producers"?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Not on what the city pays us.
Jason: Anyway, it's about these guys that sell 1,000% of a Broadway show. They make a killing unless the play is a hit, in which case they've got to pay back their investors with money they don't have.
Ed: That's what Mapes did with the buildings?
Jason: Buildings, shopping centers, hotels. All around the country. Always targeting doctors.
Ed: Go where the money is.
Jason: Well, they got it, but don't understand what to do with it. The only difference between Mapes and the Broadway guys is that his castle crumbled when the real estate market fell.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: And boy did it fall.
Jason: Like a latka, but Mapes was gone with the wind.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Well, the good news is we found him. The bad news is he's dead.
Jason: Hey, it's all good news for me. I get to close the book on him.
Ed: We're thinking that one of his unhappy investors put him out of his misery.
Jason: Sure. I'll get you the files.

Rey: [to 3 young uniform cops crossing the yellow tape] Do me a favor, if you don't have to come in here, don't come in here, she's dead.

Chris: I want to go to jail.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Why?
Chris: Doesn't anybody listen? I killed John, I'd do it again. I get mad enough, I don't know what I do.

EADA: Shambala... Just once, I'd like to hear someone in this country stand up and say, "I did it. I'm the one responsible for my actions, not my television set, and not the color of my skin." And if it makes you feel good to call me a racist, fine. But if you want to know who's really responsible for racism in today's society, take a good look in the mirror.

Detective: [Det. Fontana is about to throw something into a hallway to activate motion-detected lights] And God said: let there be light.

Mike: What's that guy working on? The end of the universe?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Life. It's here, everything falls apart, and it's over.
Mike: You actually think the universe is gonna end?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Usually I'm just hoping the week'll end.
Mike: Well, I mean, if it's all just gonna disappear, what does it matter if you make sergeant, or what kind of car you drive? I mean, all the things we worry about?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: You want to tell Florence Manning's brother it doesn't matter if we find her killer?
Mike: You think Van Buren will buy it?

Neil: [while talking to the judge just before beginning of trial] We need to keep a place for Dr. Duval, Mr Newman's psychiatrist.
Jack: Are we going to be doing therapy in the courtroom?

Serena: My point is, is that Mr. Strelzik's little black book might embarrass a lot of influential people.
Arthur: Did he kill Gordon Meeks?
Jack: We think he did.
Arthur: Does anyone in this room have his or her name in that little book of his?
Jack: Of course not.
Arthur: Then convict the S.O.B.

Jack: Tappan is responsible for that murder.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: Morally, not legally. We can't arrest him.
Jack: I'm a DA -- I can arrest anybody!

Elias: Isn't it great to say exactly what you feel?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I tried that with my first wife.

Dean: [at suppression hearing] The police knew that they had no grounds for a warrant to search his car, so they decided to wait until they could ambush him in his car and they could conduct what they called this inventory-search. It's laughable, Your Honor.
E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Not to the Court of Appeals: People v. Galak. The need to conduct an inventory of a prisoner's personal effects provides its own rationale for searching those effects.
Dean: Well, they vacuumed the carpet, Your Honor. What were they doing an inventory of? Dust mites? And the officers had the arrest warrant for 16 hours before they decided to pick up my client.
Judge: How about it, Mr.McCoy? Why the delay?
E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: A defendant has no constitutional or statutory right to a speedy arrest. I can cite People v. Bryant on that one.
Judge: A Trial Term opinion? Please! Even Mr. Magoo could see right through this. Motion to suppress is granted.

Lennie: I wonder which mommy's gonna teach him to smoke and drink.
Mike: And shave.
Lennie: Well, it's the '90s. Everybody's allowed to gross and disgusting, not just you.

Dr. Harvey Purcell: Why are they arguing about embryos when my wife is dead? Sarah was not a POTENTIAL human being!

Ed: Can we talk about Walter Grimes, please?
Rodney: An outright travesty of justice. His lawyer was a twenty-five year old legal aid attorney trying his third case.
Detective: Well, he caught a bad break.
Rodney: Oh, that alone should have got him a new trial. DNA proved he didn't kill Leanne Testa.
Ed: Which won't happen this time. Look, we may not have DNA, but we got your client's fingerprints on the bottle he used to fracture Brendan Donner's skull.
Rodney: Well, we don't what happened that night. Maybe Walter was defending himself.
Detective: Why don't we ask him ourselves?
Ed: Yeah. Where can we find him? We got a warrant for his arrest.
Rodney: I'd rather you didn't speak to Walter if I'm not present.
Ed: What, are you still his lawyer?
Rodney: If you have a warrant, I am.
Ed: Then you should know that you have an obligation to surrender your client.
Rodney: I know what my obligations are.
Detective: Then you won't mind giving us his address.

Anita: $100 million worth of forensic technology all is we've got is a John Doe cowboy with a big appetite.
Rey: We can narrow down his last stop to one of 200 Italian restaurants near the park.
Detective: Yeah. Unless he ate at a friend's.
Anita: Well, that only keeps us out of the hardware stores.

Attorney: Mr. McCoy, do you like cops?
D.A. Jack McCoy: Some cops I like a lot. I respect police officers, I appreciate the the difficulty of their job. I respect the standard they hold themselves to.
Attorney: But you've prosecuted cops.
D.A. Jack McCoy: I've prosecuted individual cops.
Attorney: On more than one occasion. In fact, you've worked on more prosecutions of police officers than anyone in your office, isn't that right?
D.A. Jack McCoy: Maybe because I've been there the longest.
Attorney: You've prosecuted cops, big tobacco, big pharma, pro-life groups, anti-gay activists, gun manufacturers. The whole liberal hit list, isn't that right?
D.A. Jack McCoy: I took the cases that landed on my desk.
Attorney: In fact, you went out of your way to fabricate cases to service your liberal agenda.
D.A. Jack McCoy: That's not true.
Attorney: That's not true? Didn't you bend the law so egregiously in your illegitimate pursuit of a gun manufacturer that the judge had to set aside the jury's guilty verdict in the interest of justice? Didn't the judge have to, as Mr. Lethem testified, rein you in?
D.A. Jack McCoy: That's one side of the ledger. I was also reined in while prosecuting a sexual predator. I was reined in for prosecuting a bunch of Russian gangsters who killed the prosecutor and almost blew up a police station.
Attorney: Maybe sometimes, by accident, you are on the side of the angels, but Mr. Lethem is right. You can't be trusted. You're out of control. Isn't that the bottom line on you, Mr. McCoy?
D.A. Jack McCoy: The bottom line, Ms. Sanders, where there's a law, I'll enforce it. Where there's a crime, I'll prosecute it. And where there's a victim, I'll speak for that victim. That's my bottom line.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: If abortion is murder, then no matter how you feel about Mary Donovan, aren't you guilty of the murder of her unborn child?

Jack: No crime, no coverup. Three people dead, and no one's accountable.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Justice on a budget. What did you end up charging them with?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Tampering with evidence. An "E" felony.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Oh.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: We arraigned them. They posted bail: 2000 dollars. And they walk away from three murders.
Jack: We can always hope they jump bail.

E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: What made sacrificing Matt Garcia's life *your* decision to make?

D.A. Adam Schiff: [discussing McCoy's cross-examination of Tappan] You didn't make this guy blink.
Jack: It doesn't matter. Willard Tappan will be convicted.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Right. After the judge reminds the jury that he's not on trial for anything he did in the past and orders them to put it out of their mind.
Jack: Adam, you haven't been in a courtroom in a long time.
D.A. Adam Schiff: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Jack: You didn't see their eyes. When they get into that jury room, the only thing they'll remember is the fourteen thousand lies.

Serena: Remind me never to play poker with you, Jack.
Arthur: Told some whoppers in there did you?
Jack: What's a whopper between old friends?
Arthur: That's what I always say.

Detective: Neighbors said this used to be home to one of those flat screen TVs.
Detective: Man, those things go for like 6 grand!
Detective: For 6 grand, it should make coffee and do the dishes.

Adam: Clarence Darrow had Leopold and Leob, and who do we have?
Jack: Beavis and Butthead.

Prostitute: [in scotch section of liquor store] Lot of good labels up there. It'd be nice to share a taste.
Detective: You asking me for a date?
Prostitute: My mama told me never to date a cop. They fool around on you.
Detective: [Shows her photo of victim] How about this guy? Anybody around here date him yesterday?
Prostitute: I didn't, but he's cute.
Detective: You've been at this too long, honey. He's dead.

Jack: [to press reporters] This is a trial, not a soap opera. I wish you people would remember that!

Det. Lennie Briscoe: New Hampshire. I spent a year there one weekend.

Lennie: Five years ago this was Benny Gonzaga's sweatshop. Beautiful views and fifty cents an hour.

Judge: Now who's calling for a conclusion, Mr. Gillum? Miss Sullivan - stand up... . This the woman you saw, Mr. Wilkins?
Mr. Wilkins: Yeah - uh, yes, sir.
Judge: That hair?
Mr. Wilkins: Yes.
Judge: That body type?
Mr. Wilkins: Yes.
Judge: Really? You're sure it was her - not, say, uh... Miss Ross? Miss Ross, would you stand up for me?
[Ross stands up as McCoy, puzzled, watches uncomfortably]
Judge: Similar body type, wouldn't you say?
Mr. Wilkins: Yeah, but, uh - it was the other one.
Judge: Good.
[Marks pauses, looking Ross up and down]

Belcher: [to Logan about Zelda] She's been walking us through boyfriends 1 through 90, this old broad makes Madonna look like a nun.

Det. Joe Fontana: I didn't realize I got transfered into the local chapter of Amnesty International.

Det. Ed Green: [draws gun on a suspect with a pry bar] Rock, paper, scissors, *gun*.

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: [disgusted with the doctor] I think you flatter yourself.

Detective: [CSU pulls a VW bus out of the Hudson River] The keys are still in here.
Detective: [a CSU tech opens the bus door and bones fall out] So is the driver.
Detective: Too much to drink, turn a wrong turn.
Detective: [kneeling down next to the remains] Well, not unless he was drinking through the bullet hole in his skull.

Kyle: Let's put it this way, if there was a kite out on Worley, it's been rescinded.
E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Why is that, Mr. Marsden?
Kyle: Because the only thing sweeter than a dead C.O. is one on my side of the bars. That's a gift that just keeps on giving.

Detective: What are you gonna do, Tony? Get a lawyer in a white sheet?

Asst. M.E. Gardner: [about the victim] These were on her legs and arms which are not consistent with the crash. Abrasions on her buttocks and more bruises resembling finger marks. Looks like her underwear was ripped off. And there's vaginal tearing, semen.
Lennie: So we're talking rape.
Asst. M.E. Gardner: If it was a romantic evening at home, I'd hate to meet her boyfriend.

Katrina: I'm attracted to you, Rey.
Detective: You'll get over it.

Arthur: I'd advise you not to forget whose name's on the door.
Jack: How could you do that to me, Arthur? Sandbag me like that in front of the U.S. Attorney's office? How am I supposed to deal with them now?
Arthur: I apologize for springin' that on you, but this is not about you saving face or looking bad in front of an Assistant United States Attorney.
Jack: This is nonsense, Arthur. They don't need Righetti! What the hell's going on here?
Arthur: Exactly what you were told in there - nothing more, nothing less.
Jack: I don't believe that! Push comes to shove, the feds corner Righetti, they'll cut deal with him! He'll give up his nephew and his crew, and they'll send the old man to Tuscon to play shuffleboard in the sun, and you won't be able to do a damn thing about it!
Arthur: Sometimes we make deals that leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth. You've done it yourself a million times, Jack! You spit it out and move on!
Arthur: Now, you're letting your friendship with Jean Piccone cloud your judgment.
Arthur: And what I want you to do - what I need you to do - is withdraw that plea agreement and let Righetti go.

Jeffrey: Donner was getting death threats from all over the country; people mailing him dead rats, dog crap, you name it.
Detective: When you care enough to send the very worst.
Jeffrey: The worst was the envelope full of white powder.
Ed: Ahh. We were wondering why the FBI was involved in this.
Jeffrey: Standard procedure for all cases involving a suspected biological contaminant.
Ed: Which this wasn't?
Jeffrey: Baking soda isn't lethal.
Detective: Well, you never met my ex-wife.
Jeffrey: Well, we went ahead and seized all the letters, cards, and packages, anyway. Catalogued 'em.
Detective: Wow. A lot of people with too much time on their hands, huh?
Jeffrey: We've got audio, too. I tapped Donner's phone just to be safe.
Ed: For a case like this?
Jeffrey: I felt sorry for him. Wanted to go the extra mile, help the guy out.
Detective: You bet the other team.
Jeffrey: Made out like a bandit. Donner may have been a schmuck to you guys, but he was a hero to us.

Stan: I move for a dismissal. If the people don't even know who killed whom, I'd say reasonable doubt is manifest.
Jack: On the contrary. The evidence against the defendant is even stronger now, if you will allow us to reopen the case.
Judge: It would be stronger - is that why you're trying to turn my courtroom into a hall of mirrors?
Jack: I want to put the truth before the jury.
Judge: What you can have is a mistrial.
Jack: Fine. With leave to re-present.
Stan: Excuse me - jeopardy has attached. A defendant can't be re-tried unless there is a manifest necessity for a mistrial. The only necessity here is Mr. McCoy's ignorance of the facts of his own case.
Jack: We were all ignorant of the facts, because the defendant withheld them!
Stan: She is under no obligation to incriminate herself.
Jack: By telling us her name?
Stan: Which would have incriminated her - you just said it does.
Judge: You and your free-spirited associates have not done your homework, Mr. McCoy. You've wasted all of our time.
Jack: Your honor...
Judge: Your motion is granted - I'm declaring a mistrial. Mr. Gillum's motion is granted also; the murder charge is dismissed.

Ed: Look, Mr. Campbell, the warden says that you've been proclaiming your innocence since you set foot in here.
Bobby: Doesn't seem to have done me much good, does it?
Ed: Well, who knows, maybe today's your lucky day.
Bobby: I been up here for 12 years for a crime I didn't commit. The guy who was sent here with me already died in this place. If my lucky day includes two detectives accusing me of another murder, I think I'll pass.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [Updating van Buren on a murder suspect's alibi] Her alibi checks out, she was getting bikini wax. It was called a Sphinx - don't ask. I wish I hadn't.

Arthur: The old check and raise. She set you up with a jab and knocked you out with a cross.
Jack: Let's see just how many metaphors we can mix.
Arthur: Well, I got a ton of 'em. And if this Myers guy walks, you're gonna hear each and every one.

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Emily Newton's tox screen. Positive for zolpidem and Oxycodone. It's Ambien and Percocet, which she was prescribed by the burn unit. But on the night she died, she took a handful of each.
Detective: You said she died of strangulation.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: She did. After she drugged herself into oblivion.
Detective: She doped herself up so she wouldn't feel anything.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: All she had to do was get on a chair, rig the noose, and wait for the cocktail to kick in.

ADA: Once you open the door to state interference in a person's body, everyone from anti-abortionists to advocates of sterilizing the retarded will come marching through!
Executive: Don't kid yourself - the state already interferes with your body! You can't legally inject heroin into your veins; you can't legally commit suicide. And the state has the right to put your body in a uniform, and send you off to war. Twelve states already have compulsory sterilization laws! I'm not breaking any new ground here.
ADA: It's morally repugnant.
Executive: It's a medical procedure; it's morally neutral. If it's used to wipe out a race of people, it's evil. If it prevents a killer from creating new victims for herself, it serves a moral good... I know it's not the popular thing - but it may be the only thing that'll stop her.

COO: [to Cragen] My best cop. I never would have figured.

Chief: The district attorney brought this matter to me with some reluctance.
Judge: Well-deserved. I'm trying to run a trial; I don't have time to...
Chief: Make some. I'm taking this seriously.
Judge: Because a young woman can't take a joke?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: I'm not pressing any charge.
Chief: She could! You should thank her.
Judge: Fine; thanks. Goodbye.
Chief: I'm more concerned about the general tenor of this trial.
Judge: You know how I run a trial, George.
Chief: Yes - expeditiously. And usually, fairly.
Judge: *Always* fairly.
Jack: You've been hostile to the people. Demeaning to their representatives, interfering with their witnesses...
Judge: You expect me to sit there like a lump, while he springs surprise witnesses? Half-baked appeals, revised indictments? To turn my courtroom inside out - to win a case he should have lost the first time!
Chief: Nathan - you're not supposed to care who wins, remember?
D.A. Adam Schiff: ...Your honor, I'd like to request...
Chief: No need. Nathan, you just caught a bad case of the flu, and are unable to continue presiding over this trial. I'm assigning Judge Bryant.
Judge: George...
Chief: Would you rather be sick? Or be facing the commission on judicial conduct?

Detective: They found the
[teacher's]
Detective: body over here in this janitor's closet with a whole bunch of bloody rags. Must have killed her someplace else, dumped the body here, and used the rags to clean up.
Detective: He gets an A+ for Neatness.

Reverend: Can I assume that you'll get to this before lunch?
Mike: Sure, right after we have a couple of donuts.

Uniform: [referring to the victim] Turns out she's a grad student.
Detective: She's gonna be a couple of credits shy.

Jack: The last time I checked, "Stupid" isn't a defense for murder!

Detective: [after Fratelli been picked out of a lineup and agreed to co-operate] He blinked.
Abbie: Yeah, thanks to Mr Davis.
Detective: Good ol' Ray Ray. The trick was giving him a number he couldn't forget: three. Rhymes with "squeegee"

Detective: You looked right at a picture of Kovac, and told us you'd never seen him before.
Denise: You know how many repair people go to a restaurant?
Detective: But how many of them end up killing your husband?

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: What happens when you mix midazolam with wine?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Like they say, "Don't operate any heavy machinery."

Mike: Looks like this guy was gift-wrapped before Indiana Jones here got to him.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [looking at a photo of Terry Lawlor in his school yearbook] Looks pretty harmless in a jacket and tie.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: You all do!

Anita: Did you know William Timmons when you lived up in Dargerville?
Dianne: Thousands of people live in and around Dargerville.
Anita: No doubt. What happened to you two up there?
Dianne: Nothing happened. I don't think you have the right to ask...
Anita: Ms. Cary, the code on this itemized bill is from your hospital visit three years ago. This code is for a rape kit. The doctor took evidence in a rape investigation, and William Timmons was arrested the next day. Now, he was arrested, but no charges were ever filed and he was released. Did he rape you and get away with it? Is that what this is about?

[Benson, Fontana and Green arrive at Lorraine and April's apartment]
Olivia: [to Lorraine] Thought you moved back to Florida.
Lorraine: Plans change.
April: Who's there?
[Lorraine opens the door further to reveal April]
April: Well, hello, Detective Benson. Did you miss us?

Super: I can't just let you in to his apartment.
Detective: Sure you can. We're authorized.

[watching Fontana leave Van Buren's office]
Det. Ed Green: Wasn't sure if he was a cop or a wiseguy.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Make it work Ed.

[last lines]
Paul: How many times have you given me the "you don't win every time" speech?
Ben: I don't mind losing, Paul.
Paul: Could've fooled me.
Ben: What I do mind is that twelve honest citizens knew that he was guilty, and acquitted him.
Paul: Well, they were flim-flammed on the self-defense.
Ben: They knew they were being flim-flammed, and they still acquitted him... and that's frightening.

James: We move to stay this proceeding, Your Honor, pending resolution of litigation that is the basis of the indictment.
Judge: And what litigation would that be, Mr. Linde?
James: Several civil matters that the People, for some reason, are trying to criminalize.
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: The defendant beat us to that, Your Honor. His crimes are specified in our complaint.
James: They're good-faith business disputes. We're in the wrong courthouse.
Judge: Sorry, Counselor, but it's the People's ball. They get to decide where to play.
James: Then we plead not guilty.
Judge: At last. I was beginning to think you get paid by the word.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Who said your case is made by prepping the witness?
E.A.D.A. Ben Stone: You did, about four hundred times.

Sal: The deceased jumped off a bridge on her own. Period.
Jamie: She jumped to get away from Mr. McDugan. He didn't have to push her.
Sal: She chose to die, Your Honor. My client isn't accountable for the actions of a disturbed individual.
Judge: Ms. Ross, it sounds like you're conceding Mr. McDugan didn't push her.
Jamie: He may not have physically pushed her, Your Honor, but...
Judge: But what? He levitated her?

Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: The blood on the phone belonged to our John Doe.
Kevin: Okay. What kind of knife are we looking for?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Oh, it wasn't a knife. It's as sharp as a knife blade, but massier.
Kevin: Massier? What kind of word is that?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: It's a term of art. The blade was wider and thicker than a knife blade.
Cyrus: Those his clothes?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Mm-hmm.
Cyrus: And what else can you tell us about our John Doe, in plain English, please?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Well, he was well muscled, his hands are calloused. Probably saw his fair share of manual labor. And he had lentil stew and milk shortly before he died.
Cyrus: Yummy.

Dr. Charles Webb: She's a sympathy junkie; she needs to play the grieving mother.
ADA: And once the grieving's over?
Dr. Charles Webb: The world goes back to normal, and everyone forgets about poor Eileen... until the next baby dies.

Cyrus: [about two Mormon boys who have come to New York] So what are these boys doing thousands of miles from home?
Kevin: With home-made magic underwear.

Jack: You love your kid brother very much, don't you Mr. Taylor?
Larry: Yes.
Jack: I'm sure he feels very kindly toward you right now.

Diego: Should I say how I didn't mean to do it?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: You mean how you only killed him because he wouldn't give you his watch? Yeah, put that in there, the D.A. would really like that.

Michael: Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, this is Caesar's department.

Lucy: I want a lawyer.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Honey, you need one.

Lennie: [to Daryl Johnson] You know you have the right to a lawyer.
Daryl: Yeah, right. How many years they go to school to learn how to say, "Keep your mouth shut, Daryl"?

[a despondent Ed is staring at his coffee; Cassady enters]
Detective: Hey. You want a hot cup of black disappointment?

Judge: Ben, you are walking through history. God help us if you fall down.

Michael: I'm moving to stop the procedure.
Jack: On what basis?
Michael: It's an assault on a handicapped child.
Connie: I don't know if I would go that far.
Michael: What would you call disfiguring this poor kid? Tearing out her uterus, forcing hormones into her veins to stunt her growth? I mean, look, I've read up on this, I talked to doctors. No one knows what the long-term effects are, assuming Lacy even lives to find out because the hormones might cause a blood clot that kills her. The procedure's not medically necessary. It's all for the parents' convenience to save their marriage.
Jack: What does any of this have to do with our prosecution of Sandra Talbot?
Michael: One assault's to cover another. This one on a child. It's all part of the same criminal enterprise.
Jack: It's a stretch. She was ready to plead.
Michael: On false grounds.
Jack: You're splitting hairs.
Michael: What, so we don't have an obligation to pursue the truth?
Jack: Lacy Talbot's treatment isn't our concern. We have a victim: Amelia Lazaro. If Mrs. Talbot doesn't want to come clean, empanel a jury, but this office focuses on established crimes.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: They were moving Ann Madsen out of her apartment, she was shot in the street.
Claire: Surrounded by cops?
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: They shot the guy who killed her, he had no ID. They still don't know who the hell he was. She never even made it to the hospital.

Mitch: Jews are always playing the victim, but all this time I'm the one who's been victimized.
Nurse: [to Green] Would you tell him to shut up?
Detective: Mr. Carroll, shut up please.

Andre: [after getting into an argument to prove his innocence to Jack McCoy and Connie Rubirosa] Unless you came to arrest my black ass, get the hell out of my office. NOW.

Internal: Those bozos couldn't find their ass with both hands and a flashlight.

Mr. Goodwin: You know 200 grand's out of their reach.
Connie: Well, then lower your retainer.
Mr. Goodwin: You have no eyeball witness, a motive you can't prove, and a link between the alleged act and the victim's coma that's more science fiction than medical fact.
Connie: What are you looking for?
Mr. Goodwin: Assault two, suspended sentence.
Connie: Assault one, she does five years.
Mr. Goodwin: The whole idea of a plea is keep Mrs. Talbot with her daughter.
Connie: Our idea is to give Amelia Lazaro justice. Your client knew about the affair and she tried to drown the other woman. Now she has to answer for that.

Judith: [after realizing that Campbell never had the coins] I killed a man for nothing.

Detective: Having a child sick with leukemia, waiting for a bone marrow donor, if it'd been me, I would've shot Weber and scraped his bone marrow out myself.
Detective: I don't think that's how they do the operation, Rey.

Ms. Milford: I doubt you've handled an arraignment in twenty years, Mr. McCoy.
Jack: I used to have an assistant who did that.
Ms. Milford: We both know that's what these trumped-up charges are about.
Jack: Yes and no, Ms. Milford. Your client's friends killed Alexandra Borgia, but I can connect him to the Dyckman Street case as sure as I'm standing here.
Ms. Milford: So let's cut the BS. Who do you want more?
Jack: Do I really need to answer that?

Jack: You know, Mr. Chen, I've been thinking of traveling to China.
Li: I'm very happy for you...
Jack: Of course, I'd go to Beijing, but I'd wanna see more. Would your hometown be of any interest?
Li: Well, Tianjin is a beautiful city.
Jack: But would an American appreciate its beauty? Well, Mr. Pincham thought so.
Howard: Stop.
Howard: You visited Tianjin, did you?
Howard: That has no bearing on this case.
Jack: On the contrary. If we go to trial, I could call you as a witness to testify about the detention camps, or lack thereof, whatever the case may be. That puts you... No, that puts your entire firm in a precarious legal position. Serena, why don't you start drafting a brief to have Mr. Pincham's law firm disqualified?
Howard: This is ridiculous.
Jack: Perhaps. But look at all those fees your firm will lose if a judge agrees with me.

Detective: [hearing the victim had high level of Viagra in his blood] The stuff's safe as oysters, right?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: It's the speediest approval in FDA history. Those old farts couldn't wait to get their own hands on it.

[last lines]
Cyrus: Hey, Ed.
Ed: Hey. Thank you.
Cyrus: Thank me? For what? For digging up the evidence that got you arrested or digging up the girl that you wanted hidden?
Ed: For being a good cop.

Detective: I thought my sex life was complicated when I had to wear a condom.
Det. Rey Curtis: Is that freaky enough for you? You can be a mother *after* you're dead.

Michael: Conway should never have been allowed to testify in the first place. Now it's impossible to unring the bell.
Jack: That's what summations are for.
Michael: Sure. I just have to convince the jury Systemotics is no more dangerous than the neighborhood glee club.
Jack: This day and age, people are worried. People are scared of bogeymen. You're not going to score points pretending those fears don't exist.

Detective: [holds up a sexy leather outfit from the closet] I wonder which personality's into this?
Building: That would be Nancy. She's a personal favorite of mine.

Detective: A phone interview with a notorious fugitive's gotta add a couple of numbers to your paycheck. A follow-up interview might even move the decimal point.

Prof. Norman Rothenberg: What part of double jeopardy don't you understand?
Jack: I'm well acquainted with it Mr. Rothenberg, and it doesn't scare me.

Danielle: Okay, Ben, what do you want?
Ben: In a perfect world, I'd like to see your client locked in a room for a week with these women, but I'll settle for seeing him spend the rest of his life in jail.

Detective: Blue Deuces. One of your more popular social clubs.
Detective: You know a member named Craig Singleton?
Detective: You mean Hammerhead. I busted him maybe six times. Favorite song, Cop Killer. Favorite color, green. Favorite pastime, beating 65-year-old widows with a bat to get their welfare checks.
Detective: But one of the grannies fought back?
Detective: Somebody did. Found him in a vacant lot, 12 bullets in the back. No suspects, no arrests.
Detective: He must still have a fan club because somebody copped his ID.
Detective: Wouldn't surprise me, the kid is a regular hero among the masses.
Detective: Where do these masses hang out?
Detective: Try the block 125th and Broadway.

Detective: [finding out the victim had a pacemaker] How old was Roberto, 16?
Peter: 18, why, Detective? Is it illegal to only kill minors now?

Donald: Nobody ever has a verbal altercation anymore, you notice that? A good fist fight? Somebody looks at you cockeyed, you whip out a MAC-10.

Anita: What would you do if you thought someone was abusing your kid?
Detective: This is America, I'd sue the bastard.

E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Willis' audience are 15, 16, 17 years old, we already restrict speech to minors: cigarette ads, pornography, why not hate speech too?

ADA: [Claire, thinking her assignment as Ben's assistant D.A. is over due to her mistake] I'm preparing a calendar of pending cases. I'll forward it to your secretary. For all the problems we had, I do want to thank you for a learning experience.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: These working relationships, they can be very difficult. I remember one assistant, he stapled an internal memo to a document that he then sent to defendant's counsel and that case was lost. I thought it was a career-ender but they gave me another chance. So, see you in the morning?

Caleb: A few days ago, he sent my father a DM saying he was gonna do to him what the Jews did to Jesus.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: This country has always been a beacon to the world for liberty and justice. That's why we keep our borders open. But we're also a beacon for another kind of people, for criminals and con men; we rely on the law to protect us from them. Sometimes, that's not enough. Do we need more law, less freedom? Do we cross out parts of the Constitution? I've learned that's not the answer. The answer is that each one of us is responsible to everyone else. Not one of us can afford to turn a blind eye. By respecting the laws we do have, by living up to the true meaning of the word "citizen," we preserve our common good. Through his deliberate ignorance, Mr. Radford allowed a criminal enterprise to flourish, innocent people to be killed. He allowed a cancer to grow. This is where it has to stop. Here in this court room, with you.

Mike: Are you gonna make your kids do things they don't want?
Phil: From the time they're on this earth. 'Brush your teeth, do your homework, you're grounded'.
Mike: That's not the same.

Gordon: It's not his fault that the streets are a war zone, Ben.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: It is his fault that he joined the army.

D.A. Arthur Branch: [after defendants convicted of first-degree murder have been exonerated] You know this whole affair makes you think twice.
Jack: About the death penalty?
D.A. Arthur Branch: About where to buy you a steak.

Defense: Uh, Mr. Law has studied the case and he's prepared a profile of the suspect.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Ah, great. Leave it at the front desk. Thank you very much, and have a good day.
Defense: Uh, excuse me, ma'am. I have a letter from the Mayor's Office directing you to attend to this matter right away.

Detective: That's a wrap.
Melanie: How did you get in here?
Detective: [holding up his badge] With this.
Detective: You're both under arrest for the murder of Wesley Tatum.
Corey: Wait, you can't arrest us. We have a show to finish.
Detective: Consider yourself canceled.

Cyrus: Dr. Landry, you're under arrest.
Dr. Martha Landry: Arrest? For what?
Cyrus: Let's start with steaming a kid like a hot dog and work from there.

Dr. Nancy Haas: I'm still looking for a cure.
Jack: You should've told your patients that instead of letting them think you already had it.

Rick: In my defense, Your Honor, I point to my career in journalism and the respect of my colleagues.
Judge: Sir, I have no idea who you are.

Adam: You lose, you ruin me and this office.
Ben: I can live without this job, sir. There are some things I can't live without.
Adam: Your ego.
Ben: Mr. Schiff, if a man who lies can go pro se and win and a man who tells the truth can't, then I don't want to be in this anymore.

[a cop has been murdered]
Lt. Anita Van Buren: I just got the page.
Detective: [to the witnesses who called in the DB] Excuse me, fellas.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Any idea how it went down?
Detective: No, not yet.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Kearsey get any rounds off?
Detective: Yeah, two.
Detective: Hopefully one of them's in the killer.

Russell: This has gotten so out of hand.
Ed: This will get so much more out of hand if I gotta drag your ass outta here in handcuffs.

Jacob: I was just trying to protect my daughter.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: So you broke the Fifth Commandment. You not only killed, you killed the wrong man.

Lisa: How dare you talk to my client's doctor without talking to me first.
Jack: It doesn't feel right being sucker punched, does it, Lisa?

Kim: [referring to the victim, her husband] Peter was old. He had medical problems.
Detective: Yeah: a cord wrapped around his neck.

Max: You better run yourself a reality check. The sharks are out, and there's blood in the water.

Ben: [to Olivet] What the hell is going on?
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: I was raped. That's all you needed to know.
Ben: It would've helped to know the alleged victim was lying.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: I never lied to you.
Ben: The only reason you went to Merritt is for Diane Perkins.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: That has nothing to do with me being drugged and raped.
Ben: It had a lot to do with why you were raped.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: You want to know why I went back? I sent Diane to Merritt. My gynecologist wouldn't see her and I bought into his reputation: the awards, the articles. I was responsible.
Ben: But you did it the wrong way. If you suspected she was molested, you should have gone to the police.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: With what? She refused to come forward. I didn't know whether to believe her. She's been delusional and she certainly couldn't have testified against the esteemed doctor. She tried to kill herself, Ben.
Ben: You of all people should know the importance of full disclosure. You had a legal obligation.
Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: I had an obligation to my patient and in my profession, that's all that counts.

Dr. Emil Skoda: [about the 7 year old] You saw him, he can't connect the dots. He can't grasp others exist past his own needs.
Detective: Sounds like half the people I know.

Terry: [while getting arrested.] What kind of country locks up its patriots?
Det. Ed Green: The same kind that gives you the right to remain silent. Exercise it.

Cookie: I - I gambled. And sometimes I worked for my bookie, to - to pay off my debts. It was very foolish. I - I wasn't a career woman. The way I grew up, family is everything. That's impossible now - because of him.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I don't care if you were there to buy a nuclear bomb, you're not the one on trial.

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: The defendant killed her husband, your honor.
Gwen: She ran him over four times with her car.
Judge: I admire her restraint.

Jack: There's no statute of limitations on murder.

Clay: We're discussing Anna Karenina. Join us.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: You've got to read Crime and Punishment.

Detective: Mrs Wagner, we need to know where you were on Sunday night.
Clarissa: Uh, my husband and I were looking for a house in Greenwich. Well, no point in staying in the city humiliated.
Detective: Humiliated?
Clarissa: Now everybody knows that Chloe didn't get into Knowles, so we have to go someplace else and start over. It's a shame, because we'd just finished putting Botticelli's Primavera on our bedroom ceiling.

Jack: What gives you the right to decide how I should live the rest of my life?
EADA: Unfortunately, you did. Not once, not twice, but three times.

Mike: 25 years is a long time.
Joe: So's dead.

Masseur: [to Ross] How about I give you a full-body massage, no charge?
[Ross chuckles silently and leaves]

Detective: Hey, not everybody's in it for truth, justice, and the American way. I mean, the taxpayers want the drug problem to go away, so they lean on the politicians. The politicians want to keep their jobs, so they lean on you guys. The DAs lean on the cops, the cops lean on their snitches. And sometimes somebody leans a little too hard and somebody gets hurt.

D.A. Adam Schiff: This kid killed the man that was helping him, until you can tell me why, you can have all the forensic evidence in the world, you won't get a conviction.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: Speaking of the kidnapping, what's the gas station attendant say?
Detective: He cleaned the bathroom first thing this morning, so the message was probably written sometime today.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Do you believe him?
Detective: An Eminem CD is as much trouble as this kid wants to be in.

CITU: I'm up here 48 hours straight and then you hand me a cell with a toasted screen and a mushed USB port.
Ed: Aw, you almost make it sound sexy.
CITU: [amused laugh] Detective, you really know how to push my pixels.

Detective: [after obtaining a warrant from a reluctant judge] Good thing you booked time with the grand jury.
Abbie: What grand jury?

D.A. Adam Schiff: [the rape case has been dismissed] Are you appealing the ruling?
Jack: What the hell was Judge Wright thinking?
D.A. Adam Schiff: He hasn't had a thought since the Carter administration.

Adam: What happened to "Give me your huddled masses"? What the hell has happened to this city?

Edward: I'll not end my career in disgrace.
Ben: I understand, sir - but the alternative is letting your wife's murderer go free.
Edward: One single human life, on the timescale of the universe... You and I have different priorities.

Lennie: [a group of teens commit mass suicide following Hendricks' conviction, Mike's knelt over one of the bodies] . Come on, Mike.
[Logan crosses himself]

Lt. Anita Van Buren: [referring to babies] She couldn't have one of her own, so she figured she'd take someone else's?
Detective: Worked for Tony B.
Detective: Who's that?
Detective: Took my bike when I was 12.

Jack: Are you trying to make this easier for Shalvoy? I told you I would decide how to proceed. Do you have any idea what a minefield this case has become thanks to this arrest? You damn well better have some new and compelling evidence against her.
Michael: We have a recording of statements she made to her gal pal. Statements that weren't in the papers. We have means, opportunity, and now we have motive. Not to mention evidence of flight. She's the better case.
Jack: It's still gonna look like we reversed course because we saw her chugging a beer on the front page of the Daily News.
Michael: The cops were investigating her before her late night antics made the news, so don't worry. You're covered.
Jack: Dismiss against Derek Sherman and make a deal with Carly. Quietly.
Michael: How's that gonna look?
Jack: Better than the circus her trial would be. I want this case closed. And Mike, if Shalvoy's hack wins this election, don't for a second imagine you'll get away with pulling half the crap you pull with me.

Judge: Bail's set at a million dollars.
Defense: [to Jamie] A million bucks? He must like the cut of your skirt.
Jamie: From what I hear, he'd prefer yours.

Ben: Gregory Winters is a victim. His mother Denise Winters is a victim as well. And to a lesser extent, Franklin "T-Ball" Howard is a victim, too. A victim of circumstance, in which he learned how to fire a deadly weapon before he learned to read.

Detective: Sometimes it takes being shot in the chest to make you realize we've got the greatest job on Earth.

Jack: Andrew Hampton accepted our offer. Attempted man one, 6 to 12 years in jail.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: HOPEFULLY his sister will be joining him.
Jack: [surprised by Carmichael's lack of confidence in a conviction] You don't think he can convince a jury Nicole put him up to it?
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: I think she'll toss her hair back a few times and convince them she didn't.
Jack: Very cynical, Abbie.
[starts to leave]
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Or if that doesn't work, she could always give an interview to the Ledger.
[Carmichael: "Andrew Hampton is currently serving his sentence in the Clinton Correctional Facility. After trial on the charge of shooting Gerald Fox, Nicole Hampton was acquitted". Cut to closing credits]
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: .

Executive A.D.A. Benjamin "Ben" Stone: Do you have any other personal views on this subject you'd like to air before we walk into court and Ms. Shambala Green hands us our asses on a platter?

Uniform: Couple of Japanese tourists got shot and robbed. Wife took one in the face, husband tried to wrestle with the guy for the gun, got blasted in the arm.
Ed: You get a description of the perp?
Uniform: Black male, between twenty and thirty.
Lennie: That's it? Height, weight?
Uniform: He was rambling in Japanese. He's in shock.
Lennie: Yeah, I would be, too.
Ed: What'd the shooter make off with?
Uniform: Wife's purse, cash and jewelry.
Ed: Where'd it go down?
Uniform: Over there.
Lennie: CSU on the way?
Uniform: Should be here any minute. I found a couple of casings.
Ed: Looks like a .22.
Lennie: Yeah, if we get lucky, maybe we'll find the slugs.
Uniform: Well, we might find the one that winged the husband. The other's still in the wife's skull. No exit wound.
Lennie: That'll wreck your vacation.

Detective: The manager's a bust.
Detective: Same with the neighbors. He's been dead two hours, tops. There's no clothes or luggage in the closet.
Detective: Tell me we found a driver's license.
Detective: Not that lucky.
Detective: No business cards?
Detective: Man, not even a toothbrush.
Detective: I have a feeling whoever did this has strict rules against kissing on the mouth.

Detective: I'm thinking. Just thinking.

Jack: Kills three people and hides behind the bottle.
Jamie: The law says he can.
Jack: The law. Probably written on a cocktail napkin. Intent follows the bullet. It shouldn't matter if it was fired by a drunk or Carrie Nation.

Jack: You can't yell "fire!" in a crowded chatroom.

D.A. Adam Schiff: A woman was murdered in our jurisdiction. That's our only priority.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: So we shield him?... Poland is not entitled to punish him for the greater evil?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Greater evil? Since when did you get so philosophical? This office doesn't care about Poles, or Nazis, any more than it does about Serbs or Croats. We're not in the evil business; we're in the crime business.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Adam, I may be wrong, but... I thought, of all people, you would want...
D.A. Adam Schiff: The man killed his wife? Try him; convict him. That's all I want.

Detective: [Looking at financial records] 'Who needs math?' I told my teachers, 'I'm gonna be a cop.'
Detective: Don't feel bad. I said the same thing about biology. Now I spend half my life looking at autopsies.

Jack: I've read enough child abuse reports to know spiral fractures are caused by someone twisting your arm until it breaks.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: [referring to Carl Anderton] Last year he made a surprise takeover bid for Commonwealth Airlines. One week later, he withdrew the bid, and accused the FAA and the stockholders of conspiring against him. It's classic manic-depressive behavior.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Doesn't make sense. Runs a Fortune 500 company.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: So did Howard Hughes.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: It won't be long before the real Mr... 44 finds his next victim to kill.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Yeah well I just hope he does it in the Bronx.

Anita: Twenty-three people are dead because of an opera?
Lennie: The Germans. What are you gonna do?
Anita: I'll tell you what the taxpayers want me to do. They want me to string someone up. That's what.
Ed: And we would like nothing more than that. But the problem is who? Wotan violated a contract. They didn't break no laws.
Lennie: The fire marshal can't say how or when the damn thing started. For all we know, somebody in the crowd lit a candle.
Ed: The bottom line is ain't nobody saw nothin'.

Anita: Tell me we have an ID.
Ed: Mm-hmm. The vic's name is Brian Teague. VCI had his prints on file.
Anita: I love it when their fingers do the talking.
Ed: Well, in Teague's case, they couldn't shut up. Four collars for disturbing the peace, one for assault, another one for resisting arrest.
Anita: Well, maybe he just mouthed off once too often.
Lennie: It doesn't feel like a street fight to me. He didn't have any other injuries.
Ed: His wallet's missing. Somebody could have jumped him.
Lennie: Hey, the lab's examining that button. They told us not to hold our breath unless we get 'em a suspect and the shirt off his back.
Ed: Okay, so where does that leave us?
Anita: With the last known address.

Detective: I don't know. It doesn't really prove anything. I mean, could be Mom didn't wash his shirt for week.
Detective: Or it could be confirmation of Van Buren's story. Think about it for a minute.
Vendor: Here you are.
Detective: Put some stuff on there, will you?
Detective: Van Buren shoots the other kid in the arm or leg, someplace not fatal. It's a through-and-through and it kills James Gordon.
Vendor: Here's your change.
Detective: The old magic bullet theory?
Detective: Hey, it worked for the Warren Commission. If I'm right and this kid got hit, maybe he went to an ER.
Detective: And if we're lucky, somebody followed procedure and reported it.
Detective: Yeah.

Rodney: First the People concede that Detective Daniels, who was then Officer Daniels, questioned my client without counsel present in clear violation of his Sixth Amendment rights. And then they concede he assaulted my client to obtain a confession in violation of his Fifth Amendment rights, used that illegal confession to seize the knife in violation of my client's Fourth Amendment rights. And as if that wasn't enough, they freely admit he then planted the knife to frame my client for a crime he didn't commit, in violation of, at the very least, his Fourteenth Amendment rights. Are there any amendments the People *haven't* violated? And now, in what has to be the single greatest demonstration of legal chutzpah in the history of jurisprudence, he contends the knife shouldn't be suppresed.
Judge: Mr. McCoy, is this true?
Jack: Every word, Your Honor.
Judge: Then how can you argue in support of the knife's admission?
Jack: Because of the inevitable discovery doctrine. The knife is admissible if the police would have eventually discovered it without the impropriety.
Rodney: Well, how is that possible? They only found the knife because Officer Daniels planted it in my client's home.
Serena: You said it yourself. The police canvassed the area where the knife was originally hidden.
Jack: I have an affidavit from Detective Johnson, the primary on the case, who searched the storm drain where Grimes had hidden the knife.
Judge: But it wasn't there to be found.
Jack: Because Officer Daniels had already removed it. Under inevitable discovery, the issue is what would have happened but for Officer Daniels' wrongful conduct?
Judge: The knife would have been in that storm drain for Detective Johnson to find.
Jack: Exactly.
Rodney: Oh, this is outrageous. You're basically saying that Daniels' illegal conduct makes the knife admissible.
Jack: It isn't that I don't see the irony, but the evidence is admissible.
Judge: He's got you, Mr. Fallon. Look, Mr. Grimes' confession remains inadmissible, but the knife comes in.

Det. Rey Curtis: [to Van Buren about Danielle Mason] L.T., take a look. Does she look like a stone killer?
Anita: Um, what am I supposed to be looking at, Rey?

Detective: I know I... I lost my temper with little miss superstar.
Detective: Hmm. Now that seemed justified.
Detective: Yeah, but I get it if the boss has to know.
Detective: If you knew me a day longer and you were a dude, I'd pop you in the mouth for saying that. If I have a disagreement with you, I'm gonna say it to your face. You're not gonna hear about it through the lieutenant. That's lesson number two.

Hotel: Excuse me, have you any idea when you'll be done in here? The hotel is fully committed.
Detective: This is a crime scene. It... it says so right there on the tape.
Hotel: Yes, but that doesn't tell me when I get the room back.
Detective: Can I see you just for a sec?
[he leads the manager a couple feet into the room]
Detective: It's gonna take however long it takes, do you understand me? And if you get in our way, or don't cooperate with us, we're gonna turn this whole hotel into a crime scene. And that's gonna be really bad for business. Now, excuse us.

Sister: Maggie had the stomach flu, she threw up all over herself. I helped her get cleaned up.
Det. Mike Logan: In a shower at 1 in the morning?
Sister: A sponge bath would've been less conspicuous?

Detective: Look at this: Nietzsche, Wittgenstein, Kierkegaard. Either we're looking for a philosophy student, or we got one very depressed criminal.

Serena: Between the war on drugs and the war on terrorism, bank secrecy isn't what it used to be.

Ed: Double tap, point blank to the back of the head.
Lennie: .380, nothing at the scene. Shooter must have picked up his brass.
Ed: This victim's a mobbed-up ex-con.
Lennie: This was a hit.
Ed: Has all the earmarks.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Yeah. Speaking of marks, see that one? On his neck behind the right ear?
Lennie: Crescent moon. Looks like a burn.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: It's a brand.
Ed: Somebody branded him, like with a hot piece of metal?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Mm-hmm. Postmortem.
Ed: If he is a pro, maybe that's how he signs his work. Like a calling card or something.
Lennie: Have gun, will travel.

Jack: Did you try any high profile cases in CC?
A.D.A. Connie Rubirosa: Just workaday career criminals. But no skeletons in my closet. No arrests, no drugs. Straight A's since first grade.
Jack: [pauses] Yeah, me too.

Paul: You saw where Rydell was going. You should have stopped her cross completely.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: The more I object, the more it reinforces *her* strategy. The more Roy looks like a victim.
Paul: But still, letting her play the jury's heartstrings...
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: We knew it was coming. She's got nothing else.
Paul: And if they buy it, he walks. No manslaughter charges, no safety net.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Last I looked, you were very adamant about this. You knew that if we included anything less than murder, she'd pull out the sympathy, and the jury would opt for manslaughter.
Paul: Ben, I agree I didn't want to give the jury that option. Only...
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Only you looked over the edge, and you didn't like the view.
Paul: I looked at the box; I didn't like the jurors' faces.

Tim: I never thought I'd win that motion.
ADA: Well, then why did you make it?
Tim: Practice.
ADA: I wish you'd saved it for a more deserving client.
Tim: What, are you kidding? What could be a better career boost than a serial killer? F. Lee Bailey had the Boston Strangler. I've got Mark Bruner.

Detective: [in victim's home] Beautiful wife, beautiful kids, beautiful sailboat.
Uniform: [points to bra on chair] Maybe not thinking straight got him in this jam in the first place.
Detective: Looks like he got SOMETHING straight!

ADA: Arresting a seven year old kid for murder? A kid with a laundry list of psychological problems? What was Carmichael thinking?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Why don't you ask her?
ADA: I will. And I don't like the way she got the parents removed as guardians.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Sounds like you're sorry you didn't think of it first.

Abbie: So she's going to lie. Aren't we suborning perjury?
Jack: We don't know anything for a fact. They're the only ones who know what really went on between them.
Abbie: So it's a contest which of these two will nauseate the jury the least.
Jack: ...Yeah.

Stan: The police seized the evidence in question when they entered William Dunbar's apartment with an out-of-state arrest warrant.
Jack: That had been properly lodged with a clerk of this court.
Stan: At most, they had the right to ascertain whether or not William Dunbar was present. They had no right to search beyond that.
Jack: One of the detectives opened a closet door. He saw the gun.
Stan: On a shelf, two feet over his head.
Judge: The issue here is the plain-view exception?
Jack: It is, your honor.
Judge: So we're going diagrams, and room layouts, and sight lines - what was where, who was standing on top of what.
Stan: I can have 'em by tomorrow.
Judge: [pointing to McCoy] But he'll come in with different diagrams, and we'll all sit around with rulers, protractors... I've got a better idea. Let's go to the apartment.
Stan: ...All of us?
Judge: Yes. We'll have a picnic.

Detective: [holding blood-stained ashtray in hotel room] Looks like a couple of cracks to the skull with this did the trick.
Detective: That's why I always get a non-smoking room.

Adam: Sounds like Krolinsky's been behaving himself all these years.
Jack: It just means he hasn't been caught. I've prosecuted pedophiles, Adam. They defy rehabilitation.

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: You're alive.
Abigail: And with the reconstructive surgery I'm good as new... but my husband has never touched me since.

Gary: You'll destroy my daughter's life and for what? Public scandal, Page Six?

Detective: We've been around the block a few hundred times.

Charles: All right, Your Honor. Then I want to present evidence Ms. Knowles tried to frame my client for attempted murder.
Jack: Fine, then I'll present the jury with Mr. Taylor's offer to plead guilty.
Judge: And neither or you will present anything about those incidents to the jury.
Charles: Your Honor, you're denying my client the right to offer an alternate theory of the crime?
Judge: You can present your theory. Just not with this evidence.

Detective: So all we have to do is find the invisible man, see if he has roof tar on his shoes.

Scoler: Mr. Tatum, has the CIA ever tried to assassinate you?
Christian: Yes.
Scoler: When was the last attempt on your life?
Christian: Tuesday.
Ben: Objection, your honor.
[Judge waves dismissively]
Scoler: Why would the CIA want to kill you, Mr. Tatum?
Christian: Eastern Europe. I briefed Mikhail Gorbachev several times lat year, before it all happened.
Scoler: So you made them look bad?
Christian: Yes, they don't like that.
Scoler: Thank you, Mr. Tatum. No further questions.

Detective: [referring to bar owner who had been denied a liquor license by Joyce Weber] Sergei Yentakov? I remember him from OCCB. Guy pulled more strings than Jim Henson.

Mr. Tobak: [sees his car being towed] What is this?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Mr. Tobak, did you know that you owe $36,000 in parking fees?
Mr. Tobak: You have heard of diplomatic immunity?
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: You have it. Your car doesn't. We can have it towed, and towed... and towed.
D.A. Adam Schiff: [cuts to] You make one heck of a meter maid, Jamie.

Pauline: Does this mean he wasn't cheating on me with that girl in the car?
Detective: That would be the good news.

Carla: What about my baby? Is he all right?
Paul: He's okay. He's in a foster home until this thing gets resolved.
Carla: Oh, Ezra.
Paul: Yes, of course. What baby were you referring to? Your husband? Is that who you're thinking about at a time like this?

Kenneth: You're talking about a case that was, like, twenty-five years ago.
Serena: I know cops who remember every suspect they ever interrogated.
Kenneth: Walter Grimes?
Serena: Yeah, that's right.
Kenneth: Real punk. Absolute white trash. Is this about that guy he killed in a bar?
Serena: That's right.
Kenneth: [chuckle] See, that's what you get when you let a guy like Grimes loose on society.
Serena: He was exonerated.
Kenneth: Whatever.
Serena: I'm looking into all of his priors. If Grimes did this liquor store robbery, it would actually help the case that we're prosecuting. But the store owner says that he didn't.
Kenneth: What can I tell you? The old guy was wrong.
Serena: But Grimes is white. The store owner said that the robber was Latino.
Kenneth: Look, the old man was so scared he pissed himself. All he saw was the gun, if that. Grimes is the guy who held him up. I have no doubt.
Serena: Except your gut isn't admissible, Detective.
Kenneth: Which is why the DA kicked the robbery charge. Grimes did it. And it wasn't his first stickup, either. That kid was born to go to jail. Have a good day.

Kenny: [to his lover] Hey no baby, I don't wear rubbers... it's more fun bareback!

Adam: What do we have to do? Put an A.D.A. in every precinct?

Judge: Technically, Mr. Magidan, you have been convicted of Murder in the First Degree, which is reserved for the killing of a Police Officer in the line of duty. The death penalty, having been ruled unconstitutional by the Court of Appeals in Albany, renders me powerless to sentence you to the punishment you so richly deserve. Therefore, this court sentences you to twenty five years to life imprisonment. The People have requested the strictest possible limitations on any possibility of parole, and I see no reason to disagree.

Executive A.D.A. Michael Cutter: I'd like to show you something... People's 32 this is the wallet that Walter Benning was carrying when he was shot. And I want to show you these photos of his children and grandchildren. Photos that are stained with... I can't, I can't do this there's, there's been too much heartbreaking testimony. Just too much. We're dealing with an issue here that goes to the very mystery of our existence. What is life? When does it begin? At conception? At viability? At birth? And in good faith, we seek guidance from our moral leaders, from scientists. And we want so much to do the right thing, you know, the-the just thing. And we want reason and empathy to lead us to an answer, and-and we struggle so much to find that answer. Why? Because... because despite all our differences, we are joined in one belief that every life is special and unique and imbued with inalienable rights, and that belief compels us to reject the violence... and the unreasoned chaos that Wayne Grogan's act represents. Thank you.

Mitch: What is this? I mean, why don't you people believe me? I told you, I don't remember a thing about last night, damn it.
Detective: [to Mitch Carroll] Are you just saying that because you don't want to talk to a Jew cop?
Mitch: What?
Detective: Detective Sugar Tits? Jews control the world? Any of that ring a bell?

D.A. Jack McCoy: What do you do for fun, Mike? Juggle chainsaws? With my neck on the line?
Michael: Who said this is your prosecution? I'm happy to take the hit. Just let me call my own shots.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: I said "watch and learn". You just promised to close this case.
Detective: I was only offering condolences.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Watch and learn.
Detective: [Van Buren leaves] What are you gonna do if the case falls apart? What are you gonna say to the widow then? Lesson one.

Lisa: If I were you guys, I'd steet clear of Latent for a while.
Detective: Why, they don't see the challenge in lifting prints off a broken bottle?
Lisa: Any prints shattered along with the glass, so they're fragmented like a jigsaw puzzle. You guys like jigsaw puzzles? I love jigsaw puzzles. Want to know how I solved this one?
Ed: That is why we're here.
Lisa: I bought a bottle the same brand of Scotch, filled it with plaster, then broke it, leaving a perfect mold. Then I took the glass from the crime scene and glued it on that mold, putting each piece in its proper place. Voila.
Ed: Just like a jigsaw puzzle.

Detective: You going somewhere?
Jay: I thought I'd go to Maine for a few days, do some fishing.
Detective: I thought you were sick.
Jay: I'm feeling better - hey, what the hell are you doing?
Det. Lennie Briscoe: [finds large bundles of cash] Woohoo! The price of worms must've gone through the roof.

Jack: Scientists start talking about the double helix, juries start thinking about lunch.

Monica: [to Briscoe] Screw you and your dead cop!
Detective: Just let me have 10 minutes with her, Lieutenant.

Det. Mike Logan: [when someone throws a basketball at his face] Wiseass.

[a package delivery man has been murdered]
Det. Lennie Briscoe: When you absolutely, positively have to kill someone overnight.

D.A. Arthur Branch: You know, Serena, if you were right, you were right for the wrong reasons.
ADA: Meaning?
D.A. Arthur Branch: Emotions, not facts. What was it you said, everyone you talked to said he couldn't have killed that man?
ADA: My emotional responses make me...
D.A. Arthur Branch: ...an advocate. You're a superb attorney; you ought to be involved in cases that feed your passion.
ADA: That would be wonderful.
D.A. Arthur Branch: Serena, you must know, that will not happen in this office. It can't. Now, a prosecutor can be zealous, but not passionate. Advocacy is warm-blooded, enforcement's got to be cold-blooded, and blind, and even angry.
ADA: Does Jack feel as strongly about this as you do?
D.A. Arthur Branch: No, but it's my office and my decision, and he accepts it.
ADA: Decision? You've already made a decision?
D.A. Arthur Branch: I have. You're fired.
ADA: Is this because I'm a lesbian?
D.A. Arthur Branch: No. Of course not. No.
ADA: Good... good.

Trial: [Receiving a note] Counsel, in my chambers. This was addressed to me. If Worley gets off, you're dead. Court officer said it was left in the gallery by a woman.
E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: You should have the police take custody of the note.
Trial: They've already been called.
Rodney: And what are we going to do about the trial?
Trial: We're adjourned for today. I'll meet with counsel tomorrow at 9:30.

Arthur: [as Serena bemoans people who shun the homeless] And when was the last time you ever picked up a ladle in a soup kitchen?
Serena: [proudly] Every Thanksgiving as a matter of fact.
Arthur: *One* day a year, you and all the other limousine liberals so you can feel good about yourselves.

Jamie: It's the ultimate betrayal, Jack. Wendy Singer was helpless. Her mother was supposed to protect her.
Jack: And Harding? He took the money, he pushed Wendy's IV aside, he removed her catheter and climbed on top of her. That's monstrous.

Abbie: Gentleman, if we can just lower the amount of testosterone...

Nora: People want to know if their neighbors are building terror cells.
Jack: What happens when the terrorists want to know about *them*?

Molly: I want to talk to my dad.
Detective: He's gonna meet you down at the station. We can do this here in front of all your friends, or we can step outside and do it in private.
Molly: I know my rights. I want my lawyer.
Detective: You know that right? Here's the whole civics lesson.
Detective: [standing her up and cuffing her] Molly Preston, you're under arrest.
Molly: Wait!
Detective: [leading her out of the room] You have the right to remain silent.
Molly: I didn't do anything wrong! You can't do this!
Detective: Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law.

Timothy: [referring to the victim] I saw Charles Evans' hand under her blouse. I don't think he was looking for typos.
Detective: Why didn't we hear this before?
Timothy: Charles needs a new editor now. I'd rather have him writing than fending off the police.
Detective: He needs a new editor because his old one is dead. It's called a motive.
Timothy: If I killed every editor I competed with, this would be a pretty small literary community.
Detective: Yeah, "Timothyville". You'd like that, wouldn't you?

Connie: [seeing Lupo and Bernard questioning a suspect] Why are they talking to him? Didn't he call a lawyer?
Anita: Yes, but he waived his rights. He can't help himself; he likes to hear the sound of his voice.

Marielle: How can you murder your own soul?
Judge: Stick around. You'll see.

Lucas: Yeah, I'm not gonna forget his face. He pulled a knife on me. He said that if I knew what was good for me, I'd watch where I was going.

A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: Not according to our eyewitnesses.
Prosky's: Yeah, a lunatic and Mrs. Magoo.

E.A.D.A. Nolan Price: How did Lucy know about the deal?
A.D.A. Samantha Maroun: I had Bernard reach out to her.
E.A.D.A. Nolan Price: [looks at her] You ever make a move like that again, I'll have you fired.

Jack: I remember how hard it was when I realized my father was a son of a bitch. I can't imagine what it must be like when you realize you raised one.

Judge: Counsel, the jury's asking permission to consider a lesser charge.
Mr. Clayborn: How much less?
Judge: Man two.
[Jack gives Abbie a look of skepticism, while Mr. Clayborn talks to his client]
Mr. Clayborn: [returning to the bench] The defense has no objection, Your Honor.
Judge: Mr. McCoy?
Jack: The standard for man two is recklessness. How does that apply to deliberate strangulation?
Judge: I'm inclined to agree with you, Mr. McCoy. How do you feel about man one?
Jack: I don't think any manslaughter option is appropriate. The victim didn't die by mistake. This murder was clearly intentional.
Mr. Clayborn: The jury clearly disagrees with the severity of the charge.
Jack: Because the defense bent over backwards to stir up sympathy for a cold-blooded killer!
Mr. Clayborn: They should have sympathy for a greedy hooker?
Judge: That's enough.
[to the bailiff]
Judge: Tell the jury they can consider man one.
Jack: [the bailiff leaves] Your Honor, you're allowing a compromised verdict. That's not...
Judge: Sit down, Mr. McCoy.
Jack: You might as well let them nullify.
Judge: [firmly] Sit down.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: [returning to their seats] It's now a guaranteed man one conviction, and Malone knows that.
Jack: [scoffs] Six to twelve on an intentional murder.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Well, it happens sometimes when your victim is sleazier than your defendant. You know that.

Celia: Six blissful years of marriage that took 10 years of therapy to forget.
Phil: He abused you?
Celia: It's amazing what people put up with under the heading of "love."

Detective: [checking Bender's financials] Damn, I wonder what a 200 dollar haircut looks like.
Detective: Kind of like a 400 dollar car-wash.

Judge: How does your client plead?
Howard: He doesn't.
Judge: Excuse me?
Judge: Mr. Chen has consular immunity. It was improper for these charges to have been brought against him at all. I demand that you release him immediately.
Judge: You know, I'd love to, Mr. Pincham, but your client's charged with murder, not a parking ticket.
Howard: Your sarcasm offends me, Your Honor.
Judge: Then go back to the white-collar world where people say "please" before they screw you to the wall. Now, you've got until "three" to give me a plea. One...
Li: Not Guilty, Your Honor.
Howard: With the stipulation on the record that this is not an implicit submission to this court's jurisdiction.
Judge: You know, M. Chen, your attorney's worth every penny he's picking from your pocket.
Serena: Your Honor, under the circumstances, the risk of flight is high...
Judge: Save your breath, Counselor. Defendant is remanded without bail.

Detective: [Questioning a mass-shooter who murdered pre-med women] I've been in this house a month. There isn't a day that bitch doesn't ride my ass. Lennie, Detective Briscoe, he was in line for the job. He had the seniority. They made HER Lieutenant. I bet it's the same where you work. You know what? It belittles us. It disrespects us. Isn't that what you felt? But we don't sit around and mope, do we? Take you. You tried to move up the ladder, to get into med school. And they even denied you that opportunity, didn't they? Yep. It's a terrible thing they did to you. They should have been helping you, Dennis. Taking care of you. That's what women are for. To look out for you. But they let you down. They always have, haven't they? I saw your Children's Services file. Your old man beat on you. He beat your mother. I know what that's like. Your mother was supposed to look out for you, to protect you. She just let it happen, didn't she? She didn't protect her baby. And now, these women get a crack at killing you. Dennis, you are in a deep hole right now, man. There's only one way out. You tell us what you did. There's no trial, no jury, no death penalty. Please, man, please. Don't let them do this to you. Don't let them win. You tried hard to be a good man and did they give you the respect you deserve?
Dennis: [Crying] Those bitch doctors at the hospital...
Detective: What about them, Dennis? What did they do?
Dennis: [Weeping, choking, barely able to say the words] They said that I should apply to nursing school.
Detective: See? They humiliated you.

Kenneth: This is great, Ed. What is it, uh, eight or ten years since I seen you? Not even a phone call. Now you're on my doorstep making accusations?
Ed: Just questions, Kenny. Not accusations, just questions.
Kenneth: These the sort of questions I should have my PBA delegate present for?
Ed: Look, I spoke to the DA's office. You arrested Grimes for a liquor store robbery that the owner swears up and down that the kid didn't commit.
Kenneth: Mr. Magoo? That old man was so blind, he couldn't tell his ass from his elbow. Grimes did the robbery, Ed. Trust me.
Ed: Okay. But then you find a knife that puts the same guy away for a murder he absolutely did not commit. He goes to jail for twenty years.
[noticing Kenny's reaction]
Ed: What? What is it, man? You couldn't get him on the liquor store robbery, so you framed him for Leanne Testa's murder?
Kenneth: Liquor store had nothing to do with it. How do you think Grimes' prints got on that knife? What, do you think I'm some kind of magician?
Ed: I don't know, man. You tell me.

A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Bunker spent 30 years defending the Constitution. I wonder if he ever read it.
D.A. Adam Schiff: I doubt if he ever got past the Declaration of Independence: "All *men* are created equal."

Pancho: What the hell is this?
Detective: I'm gonna tell you what it is, Agent Diamond. It's my tailor made, Italian silk shirt with his blood on it. A little thing we like to call evidence. You take it, and you run a toxicology screen. And by the way, I'm billing the FBI.

Jack: Just before his death, your father was subpoenaed by the Italian government to give testimony about certain insurance policies he sold during the war. Testimony that might have cost All-Atlantic hundreds of millions of dollars.
Abbie: Did your father ever tell you about his work?
Donna: Just that he was an insurance salesman.
Jack: But did he ever tell you who he sold insurance to or how he came to work for All-Atlantic?
Donna: What are you saying? Who did my father sell insurance to?
Abbie: [pause] Holocaust victims.

Gwen: [trying to talk down from a murder 2 charge] Man 1.
Jack: What do you think, Claire?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: She does it all.

Detective: [questioning suspect's assistant] You know what's going on. And, I got to say, you strike me as a very perceptive person.
Jane: It's a good thing you're good-looking, honey, if that's the best line you can come up with!
Detective: Sadly, it is.

Detective: [arriving at crime scene, referring to Bender] What happened: someone got tired of his routine and jumped?

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: The USDA thinks half of Elite's livestock was infected with E. coli, but says they couldn't do anything about it.
Nora: Half?
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: They were improperly gutting one out of every five cows. So, ground up, one cow can contaminate 32,000 meat patties.
Nora: Well why didn't the USDA or the CDC demand a recall?
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: Well the USDA doesn't have the authority, and the CDC only finds out if the companies tell them or if the problem is widespread.
Nora: Makes you wonder *why* we even have a USDA.

Detective: [referring to his alleged affair with Lundquist] So you don't believe me?
Deborah: I do believe you, Rey, that's the problem. I've believed everything you said for nine years.

Dawn: What's your objective Mr McCoy? To destroy my church? To further humiliate me and my congregation?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: The truth.
Dawn: The Truth is my husband killed that man Cantwell, he even said so in his damn suicide note!
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: I don't believe him or you.

Rey: It sounds like you're not a fan of Twist.
Lana: Yeah well, 3 weeks after we broke up I ran into him at a party. He told me that he had AIDS and that I probably had it too, and he laughed. I thought it was some sick joke, trying to get back at me for dumping him. But 3 weeks ago I had to get tested for VD, and I found out Twist wasn't lying. What is it you guys say? If you can't do the time, don't do the crime? That's what it feels like, like I'm some kind of criminal.

Jack: What are you doing about the Bipolar Roller?
Connie: We dropped our opposition to bail and his brother in California posted bond.
Michael: [to Cutter] Fax from forensics for you.
[pause, then to Connie]
Jack: Skater posted bond? He's out?
Connie: Mm-hmm.
Michael: A couple hours ago. Why?
Jack: That old knife sheath of his the police found? It had no connection to the current murders, but it had DNA inside that matches five of the serial killer's previous victims.
Michael: Jonah Applebaum is the Boxcar Basher?
Jack: You just put an insane serial killer back on the street.
Connie: He doesn't know that we know that. We... we can still pick him up.
Jack: You damn well better. This could be Willie Horton all over again.
Michael: Willie Horton? You're not worried about the election, are you?
Jack: I'm worried about everything. About him killing someone else. About the way this office is run. A serial killer in our hands and then released. Am I being too picky?

Mrs. Louisa D'Angelo: [the cops are searching for her husband's severed penis] If it was *me* that was missing, you'd wait 24 hours before sending somebody out!

Ted: Now, you here to buy or just browsing?
Lennie: Was Bobby Cassidy one of your regular customers?
Ted: A punk. Wanted me to unload some cheap VCRs.
Lennie: So you offered him some smack instead, huh?
Ted: I offered him a Queen Anne chair.
Rey: What you do say we cut the crap here? His name wasn't Cassidy, it was Croft and he was on the job. He's dead now and that pisses us off extra special, you catching on?
Ted: A cop? No way he could afford the Queen Anne.

Donald: We think Beigal fled jurisdiction?
Max: We think Beigal's dead, and Mrs. Beigal does too.

D.A. Adam Schiff: [When Julia decides not to testify in court] Yeah, well, it's for the best. You'll have a hell of a time explaining what that girl was doing in his room after midnight.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: But does the 70-year-old mugging victim have to explain why he was riding alone on a subway at night?
D.A. Adam Schiff: Well, it'd make our job easier.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Of course it would. We wouldn't have any more victims.

Detective: Hey, suppose Kelani isn't the only smuggler on the plane? You think Transmission Travel gives frequent swallower miles?
Detective: All I know is, 20 years ago, two Cuba Libres and I'd have the passenger list.

Mike: I don't think we owe Dobson an apology, do you?
Detective: I hope Hallmark makes the right card.

Ben: [to Mr. Savitt] We both know what kind of girl Debra Elkins is, sir. And don't think you're any better.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: There's no statute of limitations on murder.

[Rifling through 30-year old evidence]
Det. Lennie Briscoe: I got one word for you, Rey - plastics.

Detective: Good work, Deidre! I wouldn't be surprised if you get a call from the mayor.
Deidre: Yeah, well, he's payin' like everybody else.
Detective: [chuckles] Get her a cup of coffee.

Detective: [after a nurse faints due to noxious fumes emanating from a corpse's mouth] Didn't this happen in California?
Dr. Alfredo Salinas: Yeah, they called it the smell of death.
[camera pans to men in bio-hazard suits wheeling out the dead body in a plastic bag]

A.D.A. Paul Robinette: Cristobal's son, 19, police report says Gaitan put three bullets in the back of his head. Maybe Frank Hoover has a point.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Terrific. You don't like the system, go get a gun. We can paint the courthouse steps red.
Adam: A lot of people would rather give him a medal than a sentence. Frank Hoover has a case for extreme emotional disturbance.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: I'm not hard hearted, but I don't get this one. It's premeditated, it's wrong.
Adam: I'm not up on my Catholic theology, but is self-righteousness a mortal or a venial sin?
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: You killed a man who killed your son, to a jury it doesn't matter how premeditated it was.
Adam: Let him do four to 12.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: OK, just as long as you take the press conference.

Ben: The Court of Appeals is moving with the Supreme Court.
Leonard: The Court of Appeals changes its mind more often than I change my socks. That permit was for the Borland business. The warrant was for the Borland home. Any idiot can see the cops were relying on the phone call.
Judge: I'm not even an idiot, I can see it.

Detective: I guess there's no point in asking...
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Indication of brutal sexual penetration both vaginally and anally. Bad news, no semen.
Detective: Condom?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Douche.
Detective: No DNA.
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: I didn't say that. This girl fought back. Got his flesh under her fingernails. I sent it for DNA typing.
Detective: So he douched them but he forgot to clean under their nails?
Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: No, he didn't forget. He just didn't get it all.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: I want to go to law school so I can learn how to turn gold into lead.

Dr. Emil Skoda: You want me to make a diagnosis based on the word of an amateur?
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Yeah. You got a problem with that?
Dr. Emil Skoda: OK... uh, he can't relate to others, has low tolerance for frustration, he's unpredictable. So far that's my kid. Now, the fear and suspicion, the whispering through the walls sounds like he's in the early stages of bipolar disorder.
A.D.A. Jamie Ross: Bipolar disorder.
Dr. Emil Skoda: Alternating cycles of depression and mania, periods of feeling better than normal, brighter and more energetic and charming. Hypersexuality and poor judgement. Then, suddenly, irritability, aggression, delusions of persecution, hearing voices.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: That's what's going on with this kid?
Dr. Emil Skoda: It's a third-hand diagnosis, take it for what it's worth. But, it might explain why the kid's a firebug.

DA: I'm not a fan of Russian-style justice.

Marty: You don't understand about Eileen - she's always felt lonely. She told me how her parents never gave her any love. These babies were important to her. She'd dress them up, she'd show them off; she had so much love for them... Eileen can't be alone; she needs me. I'll be there for her, Mr. McCoy - no matter what.

Eric: Politics is a manipulative business, Mr. McCoy. People lie all the time.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: [about the defense attorney] Maybe he's just an idiot.

[last lines]
Serena: Seems kind of fitting after trashing this country, Mr. Yoshida will probably get to spend the rest of his life here.
Jack: We got the right guy, but Arthur was playing with fire.
Serena: When we arrested Yoshida, the truth came out.
Jack: You know how newspaper retractions are always on an inside page in small print? You ever wonder how many people see the front page story and miss the follow-up correction?

Detective: [about Affirmative Action] You wouldn't have gotten any complaints from me; it came in after I left the department and it'll still be there when I'm gone.
Detective: Well you wouldn't have liked my answers. When I was filling out my application, when it asked about race, I checked 'none of the above'.
A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Well I'd like to think I got where I am on my own merit.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: So would I, but I got 2,000 pages of legal documents that say contrary.

Anita: You got a confession from Barclay?
Jack: Did I say that?
Claire: You certainly implied it.
Jack: There's no law against lying to a suspect.
Claire: And you probably miss the good old days before Miranda.
Lennie: Hey, if anybody wants to hear some of this, I could accidentally hit the intercom button.
Jack: That's what my old man what have done, in the good old days before Miranda.

D.A. Arthur Branch: That's what makes me so nervous. A Torah's been desecrated and the only people in jail are Jewish!

James: [being arrested] Probable cause, you don't have any probable cause.
Detective: You're under arrest because you're probably guilty.

Detective: In my experience, there's only two reasons why a woman drops a bad habit. One: A new man...
Detective: Or a baby.

Executive A.D.A. Benjamin "Ben" Stone: We got what we needed from Dr. Simonson.
Dr. Edward Auster: An intern, Mr. Stone. Are you planning on asking the cleaning lady to testify, too? About the time I threw the tissue into the wastepaper basket and missed?

Ben: In your new film, was Priscilla Blaine expected to perform sex acts on screen?
Director: Tastefully, yes.

D.A. Jack McCoy: It's a working office now, not a show room.

Michael: Request for interviews from "Out" magazine, "The Advocate", and I've been invited to speak at the next LAGLA convention.
Connie: Well, I hear they have the best parties
Jack: [entering] Hold up on the self-congratulations. The Hudson University Innocence Coalition is taking on Cedric Stuber's defense. They've just filed a motion to set aside the verdict.
Michael: What, within hours of Stuber's conviction?
Jack: Apparently they found new evidence they're claiming we overlooked in our overzealous rush to judgment. And guess who signed the motion.
Michael: Emily Ryan.
Connie: The head of the Innocence Coalition.
Michael: My old law professor and mentor.
Jack: Guess she's not done schooling you.

Johnny: [mis-reading Munch's guest pass] ..."Defective Monk"?
John: [annoyed] That's "Detective Munch", with a "ch".
Johnny: Defective monk... that's like a fallen angel. That's what Brittany was...
John: [sighs, looking sad] Yeah, I can see that.

Detective: I heard she gave you two Gs.
David: Her husband owed me four. King of the welchers. Real cantaloupe - couldn't pick a winner in a one-horse race.

Delores: Good bone density. No growth plates. So between nineteen and twenty-five years old.
Detective: His or hers?
Delores: Male. About six feet.
Detective: Race?
Delores: Human.
Detective: So we've got a six-foot tall twenty year old male. That narrows it down.
Delores: There's a fractured fibula, maybe a skiing accident.
Detective: And what about the shooting accident?

Principal: Why don't you stick to police work, detective?
Mike: Why don't you stop trying to cover your ass, Mr. Babcock?

Lennie: [to Jack] She was coming back from doing laundry when she saw the door was open. She heard noises inside, she stepped in, the baseball bat was in the umbrella stand. She saw him on top of her friend, raping her, with a knife to her throat, and she took two Major League swings.

Judge: The victim is Arthur Kopinsky? I knew Kopinsky.
Sally: Perhaps Your Honor should recuse himself from setting bail in this case?
Judge: If anything, Miss Bell, I'd be biased in favor of your client!

Michael: Katherine accepted fifteen to life. That jury loved her. We caught a break.
Connie: Well, the next time I say "slam dunk", drop it on my foot.

Det. Sgt. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: What do you think?
Detective: Of a hooker who's got a lawyer looks like he spends more on clothes than I make in a year? I think whoever's paying his bill ought to adopt me.

Katrina: You don't get it, Curtis. A hundred years from now no one will remember who slept with whom, and who was naughty and who was nice. They'll look at that incredible piece of steel and concrete and know that I was a part of it.
Detective: One of the first public buildings named after a convicted murderer.
Katrina: Hardly the first. The Pantheon; the Temple of the Vestals; they all have the names of Emperors over the door, and talk about murderers!
Detective: "Pro bono publico", right?
Katrina: Relax, Rey. The Empire isn't gonna fall tonight. Go on. Go home to your wife.
[cut to closing credits]

Lennie: [while watching a porn video involving teens] Whatever happened to Spin the Bottle?
Mike: Whatever happened to their parents?

Detective: [on Detective Rey Curtis] I've got ties older than him... and some shoes, too, I think.

Lennie: [to murder suspect] You lied to us, Lucy! Is that how people behave in Terre Haute?

Sally: [immediately after opening credits] I kept telling him: don't jeopardize our friendship. Besides, he's not my type. Now Mr Giuliani, that's a handsome man!
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Well I don't know if we can help you there, Sally: the Mayor is married.
Sally: Oh that's OK -- I'm not jealous.
Rey: So, getting back to last night...
Sally: [referring to her shopping cart] I'm pushing my wagon down the road, and out of nowhere Enzo Ferrari comes at me -- nearly runs me over!
Rey: Do you remember what kind of car it was?
Sally: One of them sushi rolls. Put a nice ding in my wagon. You see that tan paint? Got to get in touch with his insurance company.

Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: The conspiracy is a house of cards. The slightest breeze, and it all comes tumbling down.
D.A. Adam Schiff: Only no little piggy has started huffing and puffing.

Adam: The gun dealer was in the yard at Riker's; had his throat cut. Buenaventura was strangled in the kitchen at Dannemora. And Manuel Ortega's mother fell out of a window.
A.D.A. Paul Robinette: What about the little girl?
Adam: She was picked up at school by her uncle.
Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: She doesn't have an uncle!
[cut to Schiff's horrified expression before the credits roll]

Ed: The blood from the slug belonged to Maria Soriano. Slug's a nine millimeter hollow point round fired from a Glock.
Cyrus: A cop bullet.
Ed: CSU also found two nine millimeter casings about ten yards away from where Maria went down.
Anita: I'll call the Chief of D's and the D.A. Ignacio's our main witness; let's get him into protective custody. And mind who you talk to. This is gonna get ugly, real quick.

Ben: Sanctuary? What is this, medieval England?
A.D.A. Claire Kincaid: You really plan to argue this in front of a judge?
Shambala: And the Appellate Division and the Court of Appeals and the Supreme Court, if necessary.
Ben: So your client is going to stay in this church until your exercise in futility is completed?
Shambala: Considering the alternative, you bet. That is, of course, unless you'd like to save us all a lot of time and energy.
Ben: Well, what does that mean?
Shambala: Man two, he serves the minimum.
Ben: Your client savagely killed Mr. John De Santis on the local news. We call that murder two.

Detective: If Barbara Spiegelman was anything like my ex's mother...
Captain: Hey, Marge's mother and I aren't exactly hugs and kisses. I smile a lot at Christmas and do everything I can not to answer the phone on Sundays but I don't play Jack the Ripper with a steak knife.
Detective: Marge's mother isn't dangling $20 mil in front of your nose.
Captain: Okay. Talk to them.

Jack: I'll subpoena him. He'll testify with no preconditions.
Dave: Absolutely not. He'll take the Fifth.
Jack: I'm conferring immunity right now. You're taking the stand tomorrow morning, Mr. Talbert.
Dave: He won't testify.
Jack: Are you sure about that, Mr. Talbert?
Warren: I am not sending my daughter to jail.
Dave: What are you going to do, Mr. McCoy? Cite him for contempt? He gets thirty days in jail and you still get nothing. For God's sake, he's just trying to save his daughter.
Jack: No deal. Ms. Ross, get an officer in here. Mr. Talbert, I'm having you arrested pending a contempt hearing.
Dave: McCoy...
Jack: I've had enough of him, his daughter, and her boyfriend. If I could indict him as a co-conspirator, I would. This baby is dead. I hope they all go to jail for it. Place this man under arrest and get him out of my office.

Ana: Why do you think Alison would be better off with you and your husband?
Mrs. Martin Sr.: Well, we don't plan to mutilate her.

Gretchen: [Gretchen has just caught her husband sneaking a drink on the front porch while looking at the newspaper] I thought you were buying the paper.
Jeffrey: Just checking the ponies.
Gretchen: [grabbing the bottle] Yeah? How did Johnnie Walker make out in the fifth?

James: Twenty-five? I can't do twenty-five.
Ben: Then do as much as you can.

A.D.A. Jamie Ross: It would help if we could tell the jury what turned Terry into an arsonist.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: He was angry at his father. That's an emotion I can understand.

Jack: I'm impressed by your chivalry. Even though it defies logic, you're doing everything you can to keep her out of this.
Lawrence: You think he's covering for Allie?
Jack: Aren't you, Mr. Collins. Are you willing to go back into court and face 25 to life?
Darryl: That's right.
Lawrence: If he's right, Daryl, you'd be crazy not to tell him.
Jack: It's one thing to play a thug on the cover of a CD, Mr. Collins. It's quite another to do it in Sing Sing.
Darryl: Yeah, well, they tell me I have to be hard to sell records. If I hadn't listened to that, maybe none of this would've happened.

D.A. Adam Schiff: Scannel is a major drug dealer. This Johnny Stivers works for him. Stivers doles out drugs to Sharon Lasko. Wild idea, but her death just might have something to do with drugs.

Judith: Come on, Arthur, people love me.
Arthur: I'm sure a few people love spiders too.
Judith: They eat flies, don't they?
Arthur: And we know what flies eat.

Detective: [referring to Rafael Celaya] Married and a Mets fan. He's a glutton for punishment.

Tibor: [Accused of electrocuting horses] Trust me, sir. The horses don't feel a thing.
Detective: I'd like to shoot 120 volts through his rectum and see what he says then.

Carla: [about her husband] He was like a god. Even back then. He was Zeus and I was Leda. God help me, I actually believed it.
Detective: I ain't no mythology buff, Mrs. Porazzo.
Carla: Zeus disguised himself as a swan, and then raped the mortal Leda.
Detective: You saying he raped you?
Carla: [shakes her head] You know, I looked up swans in the Britannica. Do you know they're among the most vicious birds in the world?

D.A. Arthur Branch: These parents traded one boy for another.
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: But they're both still alive.
Jack: We're prosecutors, Serena, not social workers.

Deborah: [after Green has aggressively questioned her client] Put leash on this guy, all right!
Detective: We gave up: he keeps chewing through them.

A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael: Doctor, all those women who you rushed in and out of your examination room; do you remember their faces or did you not bother to look up?

Jack: If you want to fire me, Arthur, go ahead. I'm not going to apologize for what I did.
Arthur: Well, then, you just don't get it, Jack. You know, you're a great prosecutor, but you'll never be a district attorney.

D.A. Adam Schiff: I just got off with the United States Attorney; she called you an obstructionist.
Jack: Under the circumstances, I consider that a compliment.

[last lines]
D.A. Nora Lewin: Have we set a grand jury date for Ms. Lawrence?
Jack: And call what witnesses? The only ones we can find are two men who'd rather go to jail than tell the truth.
D.A. Nora Lewin: So we indict Collins for perjury.
Jack: We can't prove he lied.
D.A. Nora Lewin: Lawrence and Collins both walk?
Jack: We got dissed. Apparently two careers are worth more than a person's life.
A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: In a weird way, the dismissal hurt Collins more than the indictment. When his fans found out he wasn't the killer, his CD dropped ten places on the charts.
Jack: At this rate, he might have to go out and actually shoot somebody.

EADA: You knew all along. With your testimony, we could have gone to trial three weeks ago.
Edward: Watch your tone, sir. I pick up the phone, and your license to be holier than everybody else on this planet can be used to wallpaper the sewer.

Mr. Cortina: [while helping Lupo and Bernard rescue students from a mass shooter, after Lupo called him Coach] By the way, I'm a Math teacher.

ADA: Marks knows her audience. Could've heard hair grow in that jury box.
Executive: People slow down for traffic accidents; that doesn't mean they approve.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: If Lennie's siding with the ex-wife, there's GOT to be more to this.

Jack: When you're raised by Jesuits you wind up obedient... or impertinent.

Laura: How about involuntary manslaughter? I'd be out in 5 years, right?
Ben: 2 and a half with good behavior.
Laura: I'm always on my best behavior.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: A thrill killing. I take it back, Lennie: some people don't need a reason.
Detective: I guess the Macarena wasn't exciting enough for them.

Detective: Take your time, Guin.
Guinivere: It was here.
Detective: Do you remember where he hid it?
Guinivere: Me and James and Zack, we were here. I was scared.
Detective: Ah, don't be. We won't let anyone hurt you.
Guinivere: Zack's bad.
Detective: Just try to think back, Guin, when did you see the gun?
Guinivere: After school.
Detective: You were standing here?
[Guin points behind her]
Detective: Ah ha, where was Zack?
[Guin points to her right where Mike is standing]
Detective: [to Mike who is looking for evidence in a chimney and trying not to fall off the roof] I think you're getting warm, Mike.
Detective: Something caught in a pipe here
[finds a paper packet, opens it, smiles and removes a pistol]
Detective: Smoking.

D.A. Jack McCoy: The more I learn about Mr. Nolan, the less I want to make a deal with him.

Abbie: [to McCoy about Alice] Jack, whatever hellhole she's in, she put herself there.

Sgt. Max Greevey: [Smiling] Congratulations. How did you know?
Executive A.D.A. Benjamin "Ben" Stone: My father. Every day at lunch.

McCoy's: There's a doctor here - he says he's Mr. Jackson's son.
Lonnie: [sternly] Tell him to go to hell.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: [referring to the dead shooter] Well, if he emigrated here, maybe INS has him; they can ID him off his right ear.
Detective: You're kidding!
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Oh, you didn't know? Every ear's unique, like snowflakes.
Detective: No wonder Evander was so upset!

Jessica: [about Fiona] She's 16, Jack. When you were 16, you were sneaking into ball games and swiping cigarettes from a local bodega.
Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Neither of which is a Class A felony.

Arthur: Howard! I didn't think they let Harvard men in here unescorted.
Howard: I'm meeting O'Keefe for dinner.
Arthur: [Holding newspaper] Did you see this? Second Circuit reversed Barsky.
Howard: I could have you disbarred for this, Arthur.
Arthur: For having a drink?
Howard: You told McCoy I visited Tianjin. Just because you left the firm doesn't mean you can disclose confidential information about my dealings with clients.
Arthur: If you recall, I skipped your home movies of that trip.
Howard: Splitting hairs doesn't become you, Arthur. We'll just have to see what the Ethics Committee thinks. Unless of course...
Arthur: Are you trying to extort a deal out of me, Howard?
Howard: A proposal, that's all. Suppose I turn my back on this Bar Association thing, and you agree to send Mr. Chen back to China.
Arthur: So he can be tried for murder by his own people.
Howard: Exactly - by a culture that understands him.
Arthur: Sounds good.
Howard: Ah, I knew you'd be reasonable.
Arthur: Reasonable, but not stupid. Back home, Chen might receive a medal of honor for murdering Helen Quan.
Howard: You love this, don't you? Squeezing me into a corner.
Arthur: Just doin' my job.
Howard: Only Chen didn't kill that girl and you don't have any evidence to prove he did.
Arthur: And he doesn't have an alibi. We know he wasn't feeling particularly frisky that night.
Howard: If you're talking about the call girls, that's not Chen's thing.
Arthur: What is?
Howard: A dry vodka martini from the Beekman Hotel around the corner.

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: He wouldn't be the first person with an 80 IQ to confess to a felony.
Jack: Or to have a room on death row.
D.A. Arthur Branch: What I don't get is why his attorney didn't have him tested before he invited our shrinks to sit down with him.
Jack: Two words: Dean Connors.
D.A. Arthur Branch: Is that supposed to ring a bell?
Jack: Dean's not a bad sort, he's just morally opposed to hard work. I don't think he's tried a case in ten years.
D.A. Arthur Branch: You gotta love a fighter who won't throw a punch.

Maitre: [referring to the victim and her husband] She gave him a big hug.
Detective: No kiss?
Maitre: You married?
Detective: I've toyed with the notion.

Adam: Cloudy, muddy, murky. The jury has enough reasonable doubt to bottle it and sell it.
Paul: You can hear Willis in summation: "The defendants lied because they were scared. Yes they owned a gun, but did they use it?"
Ben: Marian Borland. What did she tell the cops? "The kids were competitive, it was unhealthy." The only unhealthy competition was hers, for her son's glory.
Adam: Are you prosecuting or preaching?
Ben: She pulled the trigger. Not physically...
Adam: Oh, metaphysically.
Ben: She harped on the Chong kid every day. Why did Randy kill him? You kick a dog long enough, it bites.
Paul: You want to try that in your summation?
Adam: It won't get you a conviction.
Ben: Might get us a deal.

Jules: 8-1/4% tax on $14,000. That's over 1100. My customer says to me: ship a dummy box to New Jersey or I'll buy my stones in Palm Beach. What am I supposed to do?
Paul: Tell him our jails are nicer than Florida's.
Jules: State hit me with a $100,000 fine. I love New York.
Paul: Looks like you're surviving. Your record on that necklace?
Jules: Is it really that important? My customer comes in angry, I want his business.
Paul: If your customer comes in again, call Geraldo. He's dead, and this is a murder investigation.
[both walk over to file cabinet]
Paul: Mr Cullen paid cash, right? And the necklace was sent to an Alexandra Becket?
Jules: Just barely. Mr Cullen had bought several pieces for his wife over the years. Smaller pieces. There was a cretinous new shipping clerk who called Mrs. Cullen by mistake. She was not expecting a necklace. Very embarrassing. If Mr Cullen had found out it would have cost me his business.
Paul: Cost him a lot more than that.

Detective: [to Father Krolinsky] We called you father. How could you do this to us? You even did it to your own son. How could you do that?

Executive: The idea that anyone would travel over a body of water and across two boroughs to jog at 6:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning, it's ludicrous. But I saw the jurors' faces. They were entertaining it.
DA: No one likes the idea of condemning a man to life in prison. Credible or not, reason to doubt gives them reason to acquit.
Executive: I don't see how we come back from this.
DA: Then maybe it's time to reach out, discuss a plea.

Capt. Donald Cragen: People always know things they don't think they know, you know?

Witness: It used to be that you flipped them off when somebody cut you off.
Witness: Now they drag you out of the car and beat you up.
Det. Rey Curtis: Why not? Who's gonna stop him? You?

Anita: Exactly what do you want from us?
Michael: Clarity.
Anita: Clarity. Mr. Cutter, exactly how long have you been an A.D.A.? Since when do you get evidentiary clarity In a murder case handed to you on a silver platter? I think we're done here for today.

Patrick: I'm not going to jail, Kevin, because I'm not involved in this, and Mary wasn't involved either.
Kevin: [knocks him against the wall and hits him] Shut up! Shut up!
[Logan and Greevy pull them apart]
Patrick: She wasn't there to plant the bomb! She was pregnant, she was going there to kill our baby!
[sobs]

Lori: He stabs my father *three* times, he *confesses*, and he gets to go home? What about my father's *rights*? Doesn't anyone care about them?

Abbie: [discussing a case] What do you call this?
Det. Ed Green: Besides a bunch of crazy, rich white people with too much time on their hands?
Detective: The best Skoda could come up with was "necrophilia without tears".

EADA: I don't mind when you want to make new law, Norman, but next time I wish you'd choose a more deserving client.
Prof. Norman Rothenberg: We can't always choose them, Ben.
EADA: So it doesn't concern you that justice won't be done?
Prof. Norman Rothenberg: My only concern is the law. I'll leave justice to a more majestic authority.

Captain: If you're wrong, and you go after cops...
Sgt. Max Greevey: If I'm wrong, I'll go to the grand jury and say I killed the kid.

Detective: Anyway, I went in with my partner and a team of five blues. We searched from ceiling to cellar.
Ed: Yeah, you found the knife.
Detective: Wrapped in a dishrag. It was hidden under a loose floorboard in his closet.
Detective: But the blood on the knife wasn't Leanne Testa's.
Detective: Hell of a thing. This Fallon guy...
Ed: Yeah, the Exoneration Project.
Detective: Got a court order, did family DNA against the knife, proved it wasn't Testa's.
Detective: Grimes always said that the knife was planted.
Detective: Well, of course he'd say that. Who knows? He probably killed somebody else.
Ed: Yeah, that's why we need to run that knife past forensics, see if it matches any open cases.
Detective: Well, after Fallon had it tested, it went back to the M.E.'s office. Ought to still be there.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: [in murder victim's apartment] There's two empty wine glasses in the sink.
Det. Rey Curtis: There's two empty condom wrappers over there. The near perfect Sunday afternoon.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: Yeah: I'd almost trade places with him.

Tom: My partner told me you were snooping around. He doesn't even want me talking to you.
Abbie: By not cooperating, you only increase our suspicion.
Tom: For God's sake, we are just a couple of businessmen trying to make a living.
Abbie: You own a strip club.
Tom: Do I look like some degenerate, Miss Carmichael? I would have rather bought the Blue Note. It wasn't for sale.

Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Mr. Nakahara, I'm sorry.
Mr. Nakahara: I was in the Midwest last year for the opening of an auto plant. When I left, someone threw paint on my car. It was disturbing, but expected.

Abbie: It's a suicide, it's an accident, it's a breath mint. This guy gives me a headache.

A.D.A. Serena Southerlyn: People ask that the suspect be remanded without bail, Your Honor.
Judge: What are we having today, a special on chutzpah? Bail is set at $500,000. Do you have that on you, Mr. Hagen, or do you need a few minutes?

Jack: A man so self-absorbed, so arrogant... it never occurred to me he might be innocent.
Abbie: Or that Cecilia Knowles might be so desperate.
Jack: Ninety percent of cases are circumstantial. We can only go where the best evidence leads us.
Abbie: And if we stumble across justice along the way, great.

Mike: What is it with you guys? First darts, now pool.
Detective: Never mess with a civil servant, my friend.

Dr. Emil Skoda: Your doctors say your condition is fairly new, how do you know you won't change your mind?
Judge: I'm not even in control of my bowels.

Carla: [to her husband] Daddy, Pookie's scared. Pookie doesn't want to go to jail.

Assistant M.E. Brody: I make her late teens. From rigor and blood pooling, dead a couple hours.
Lennie: From what?
Assistant M.E. Brody: Take your pick. Blunt force trauma to the head or strangulation.
Lennie: Rape?
Assistant M.E. Brody: Slash marks on the breasts. Definite sexual activity, but no obvious vaginal bruising.
Lennie: Please don't tell me she laid back and enjoyed it.

Lennie: [referring to Ron and Joyce Weber] He's a drunk, and she handles licenses to sell booze -- it's a marriage made in heaven!

Lisa: With the bottle now reconstituted...
Detective: You could lift the prints.
Lisa: Two sets. I ran them through BCI. The first belong to a Rooney, James.
Ed: The bartender.
Lisa: And owner. His prints are on file from when he applied for a liquor license.
Ed: What about the second set?
Lisa: Uh, BCI kicked back a Grimes, Walter.
Ed: Walter Grimes?
Lisa: Mm. Here's the best part.
Detective: Yeah, convicted of murder, second degree in the killing of a young girl. Drew twenty-five to life at Green Haven.
Lisa: Yeah. How'd you know?
Ed: He reads the front page of the Times.
Detective: Walter Grimes was released from prison three months ago.

Det. Lennie Briscoe: Boy, I'd hate for somebody to trace me by what I read.
Det. Rey Curtis: You read, Lennie?

Lieutenant: [referring to Willard Tappan] Make my day -- nail that son of a bitch for murder!

Clarissa: For months we worked like maniacs to get Chloe into Knowles. Extra tutors, the interviews, the tests...
Detective: Sounds like a lot of stress.
Clarissa: Valium helps.
Detective: Not on you; on your daughter.
Clarissa: Well, you're never too young to learn how to cope.
Detective: It's only kindergarten.
Clarissa: It's not just kindergarten - it's the rest of her life. The right prep school leads to the right college, the right job, the right career, the right husband. It's a carefully calibrated ladder. And if you miss a step - excuse me, that's the caterer, I'll be right back.

Adam: There's a reason for the Reverend Otts of this world.
EADA: To promote anti-Semitism?
Adam: To remind us that we still have a long way to go.

D.A. Jack McCoy: Even though the terrorism charges were dropped, this plea bargain is a just and fair resolution of a case that was controversial and hard fought. In the end, the people of our city will rest easier knowing that mob violence will not be tolerated and justice will prevail over those who engage in it.
Throng: [clamoring for attention] Mr. McCoy! Mr. McCoy! Mr. McCoy!
D.A. Jack McCoy: [placing his hand on Cutter's shoulder] I'd also like to express my gratitude to Assistant District Attorney Michael Cutter, who tried this case...
[Cutter somber over the unwanted recognition]
D.A. Jack McCoy: ...and brought sense...
[Cutter expresses surprise at also receiving the desired credit]
D.A. Jack McCoy: ...and reason to bear on the outcome.
[McCoy and Cutter share a smile]
D.A. Jack McCoy: [more unintelligible clamoring]
D.A. Jack McCoy: Thank you.

D.A. Adam Schiff: What did Potter Stewart say about pornography?
Jack: "I can't define what it is, but I know it when I see it."

Det. Rey Curtis: Who might have had a grudge against this place?
Thomas: The Pope.

[Lennie is retiring]
Det. Lennie Briscoe: So what's it been for you and me... 11 years?
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Something like that.
Det. Lennie Briscoe: It's the longest I was ever with any woman.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Now that's pitiful.

Detective: What exactly is your relationship to Kate?
Jeffery: I'm her philosophical and spiritual exploration guide. And I feed the dogs.

Detective: Can we just skip the formalities and shoot Willis?

Adam: [after Danforth's conviction] That ought to keep a lot more car doors closed during the drive straight home from work at night.

Drew: Oh, yes, I know Nancy, she's a fine Christian woman.
Detective: And you know Harold Malcolm too?
Drew: [smiling] I've prayed with him often.
Detective: You know, the reason we're here is that some of your people have been doing un-Christian things.
Drew: [surprised] What do you mean?
Detective: Well, Malcolm blasted a doctor with a shotgun in Buffalo. We think Nancy Gunther might be involved in the murder of a doctor in Manhattan.
Drew: Ah yes, the abortion doctors. Four dead.
[smiles]
Drew: Isn't that wonderful?
[Mike and Lennie look on stunned]
Drew: Come in, come in.
Drew: Those doctors were committing a holocaust.
Detective: And your solution is murder? Whatever happened to 'turning the other cheek', 'loving thine enemy'?
Drew: Ah, I will love my enemy but a child in the womb doesn't have that opportunity. Please.
[gestures for Lennie and Mike to sit]
Drew: The Bible commands us, it commands us to protect the weak and the powerless.
Detective: [dryly] Well, the State of New York commands us not to kill, I think that's also mentioned in the Bible someplace.
Drew: My only goal here is saving lives.
Detective: Do you tell your followers to shoot doctors?
Drew: They draw their own conclusions, they don't need me.
Detective: Do you happen to know who drew a conclusion to shoot Dr Reed?
Drew: [firmly] No, I don't.
Detective: Or who talked to Nancy Gunther lately?
Drew: [drinking coffee] Nancy. Nancy gathered some information on Dr Reed for me. I wanted the doctor's name and address to try to persuade her to stop.
Detective: Persuade her how?
Drew: Well, I tried to call her and I sent her some literature.
Detective: [angry] A "Wanted" poster?
Drew: Yes, that was mine.
Detective: So you think that calling her a criminal was going to persuade her?
Drew: Well, nothing else had.
Detective: Uh, where were you around noon on Tuesday?
Drew: Ah, well, I was at a conference of the Council On Choice.
[smiles]

ADA: It's exculpatory. It points to a credible alternative theory of the crime.
DA: I see. Farina was furious she was pregnant - he attacked her. Killed her unborn baby. Left her for dead.
ADA: It might sound credible to a jury.
DA: And Munoz comes along and rapes her - still credible.
ADA: Maybe not - but I'd err on the side of caution, and turn over what we know.
DA: And give this three-time rapist a chance to bluff the jury!
ADA: That can't be a consideration.
DA: Oh, it sure as hell can.
ADA: At the risk of committing reversible error? How many times do we want to re-try Munoz?
DA: As many times as it takes! We're legally, morally and ethically entitled to keep this information from him - and that's exactly what we're gonna do.

Anita: I have a problem.
Lennie: [sardonic laugh] Join the club. Shawn Beatty's alibi just got corroborated.
Anita: Lisa Winslow's parents are on their way here from New Hope. They want to know why they had to find out about their daughter's death from a news item on the radio.
Ed: We told the sister. She didn't tell the family?
Anita: According to the parents, Lisa Winslow doesn't have a sister.
Ed: What?
Lennie: Then who was the woman we met at Winslow's house?
Anita: We sent a patrol car by to have a word with her. Whoever she is, she's gone and she took the girl with her.
Ed: Damn.

E.A.D.A. Jack McCoy: The man put all the ingredients together, Adam, we can't just let him walk away when the bomb goes off.

Ben: The appeal is based on the defendant's Fourth Amendment rights. You didn't have a warrant when you searched his place of abode.
Det. Mike Logan: "Abode" huh? It was in the damn bushes!

Ben: Although justice must be tempered with mercy, it must still maintain a sense of retribution.

ADA: He's obnoxious is what he is. He only wants to make a name for himself so he can move on to seven figure criminals.
Jack: The job of a Congressman is to become a Senator. The job of a Senator is to become President. Everyone does what they do for the wrong reasons, but somehow the whole system works.
ADA: That's politics, not law.
Jack: Same difference.
ADA: Oh, really? What's your secret ambition?
Jack: It wouldn't be a secret then, would it?
ADA: [answering a ringing phone] Jack McCoy's office. Yes, Mr. Schwimmer, it's me. Because I was closer to the phone, that's why. Fine.
[hanging up]
ADA: Schwimmer wants to talk tomorrow morning, with Bruner.
Jack: Here comes the plea.
ADA: F. Lee Bailey didn't make a career for himself cutting deals.
Jack: Every once in a while, even a Congressman has to listen to his constituents.

Hotel: [seeing bloody sheets on hotel bed] My God, what happened here?
Detective: My guess? the miracle of birth.

Jack: I don't think Mr. Grimes is eligible for the Exoneration Project's services this time, Mr. Fallon.
Rodney: Well, I don't see why he wouldn't be. Walter is innocent.
Jack: Then can he explain his fingerprints on the murder weapon and the eyewitnesses at the bar?
Serena: Or his behavior when he saw two NYPD detectives? Taking a hostage isn't exactly consistent with innocence.
Rodney: Well, that depends on how you define innocence.

Lt. Anita Van Buren: You've got your assignment, Detective.
Detective: Fine. You want me to question the horse's friends and neighbors? Find out if maybe he was having some problems in his love life? It's a nothing case.
Lt. Anita Van Buren: Say something one... more... time.

Det. Mike Logan: Interviewing suspect: When is your birthday?
Suspect: March 20.
Det. Mike Logan: What year?
Suspect: Every year. I have a birthday every year!

Jack: How old was Alexis when you became her stepmother? Was she still in diapers?
Sylvia: Yes, she was only two.
Jack: Did you ever hear the defendant tell her only bad girls soil their diapers?
Sylvia: You don't understand. From the outside it may look strange, but Bill just worked miracles with the girls.
Jack: In what way?
Sylvia: [stammers] Well... well, when Susan was four, she learned to tie her shoelaces in one afternoon. How many children do that?
Jack: How was this miracle accomplished?
Sylvia: She sat there for hours, tying and retying the laces until her little fingers made it work.
Jack: A four year old? Why? Did Mr.Fallon tell her that Daddy wouldn't love her anymore if she couldn't do it right by sundown?
Sylvia: Both girls were intent on pleasing their father.
Jack: I'll bet they were. Did the bow have to be exactly on center? Did the loops have to be exactly equal?
Professor Norman Rothenberg: Your Honor...
Judge: Mr. McCoy, let's move it along.
Jack: Why haven't you and your husband ever had children?
Sylvia: We discussed it and decided against it.
Jack: It was a mutual decision? You really don't want to have children of your own?
Sylvia: Bill thought two was enough.
Jack: What did you think?
Sylvia: In our family we leave the important decisions to the person who is best equipped to make them.
Jack: I see. How long has it been since you saw your parents?
Sylvia: I don't know. Quite a while. Bill doesn't like me to be away.
Jack: Do you hear yourself? Bill thinks, Bill wants, Bill needs. Do you think this man has ever asked himself once what you want, what you need?
Sylvia: There has to be a final authority, Mr. McCoy.
Jack: Are you saying that the defendant had total control of his family, Mrs. Fallon? Did the defendant constantly tell his children they were bad, they were stupid? Did he continually terrify them with a threat to withhold his love if they didn't meet his insane expectations? Did William Fallon terrorize his children, day after day, year after year, until they could no longer tell where he left off and they began?
Sylvia: Yes!
Nick: You stupid cow!