The Best Lt. Tom Paris Quotes

[Boimler is having to climb through service crawlways to get to the bridge. He has a Voyager commemorative plate that he wants the visiting Lt. Tom Paris to sign]
Ensign: [grunt] Ha! Nobody knows the Cerritos like Bradward Boimler.
[a service doorway shuts in front of Boimler]
Ensign: [yelp] Fine. You want to play it that way, Cerritos? I know another way. Because I know you, like you should know me!
[another service doorway shuts behind Boimer]
Ensign: [yelp]
Computer: Access denied.
Ensign: Oh, no, no, no. This can't be happening. First I get kicked off the Titan. Then the Cerritos doesn't even know me anymore? Where do I belong?
[cries]
Ensign: Aw...
Lt. Tom Paris Commemorative Plate: [blinks twice, then speaks] Come on, Brad. This is your home. You're right where you belong.
Ensign: Then why am I gonna die in a Jefferies tube?
Lt. Tom Paris Commemorative Plate: [chuckle] You're not. You are Brad Boimler. And you've been in tougher spots than this. Now open up a panel and start figuring out a solution.
Ensign: [sniff] You're right. Thanks, Tom Paris.
[Boimler sets the plate upright against the wall, then opens a computer panel and starts working]
Lt. Tom Paris Commemorative Plate: I am a little worried about the fumes in here though. You know, since you're talking to a plate.
Ensign: I don't know. I kinda like 'em.
[giggle]