Top 700 Quotes From Quantum Leap

Sam: There was a poem in high school I think that I never forgot... Until now. I think it ended with, "And everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned, the best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity." I guess I just think it's time for the best to exhibit a little passionate intensity.

Sam: Captain Galaxy?
Ziggy: No, it's Captain Z-Ro. Is there a Captain Galaxy too?
Sam: Yes.
Ziggy: It must be on channel 8. Al don't get channel 8 so good. Only sometimes late at night, when the signal bounces off the iodine layer.
Sam: You mean the ionosphere. The signal bounces off the ionosphere.
Ziggy: Yeah, that too.

Kevin: [to Sam] Are you okay, Mom?
Teresa: He's not our Mommy.
Kevin: Have you ever considered taking her to a baby shrink?
Teresa: I'm not a baby.
Kevin: Okay, a dwarf shrink.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't have a lot of time.
Abagail: What are you talking about?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I love you. And no matter what happens, or whatever I say in the future, just know that for right now, for this... brief moment in time, we belong to each other. Please know that. I love you.
[he kisses her and leaps]

Nancy: And then what happened?
Katie: Then... then he raped me.
Nancy: Did you resist him?
Katie: Not after he hit me.
Nancy: Why not?
Katie: Because... I was afraid he would kill me.
Nancy: How did you escape?
Katie: When he was through, he got off me and I opened the door and I ran.
Nancy: Did you fall while running?
Katie: No.
Nancy: Did you consent to having sexual intercourse with Mr. Wentworth that evening?
Katie: No.
Nancy: Did you behave in any manner that would make Mr. Wentworth think you wanted to have sexual intercourse with him that evening?
Katie: No. Never. He raped me.

Dr. Tucker: How you doing today, Bobo?
Sam: Oh, pretty miserable. Yourself?

[Al has returned with the book about the case Sam is living]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Who killed Phil?
Admiral: I don't know.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What do you mean you don't know? You've got the book, I saw you.
Admiral: Yeah, but, you know, it's an unfinished mystery. It's one of those contest books that had in the '50s. You figure out who did the murder and if the cops can prove it, then you win ten grand.
[hold up the book]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, it says "Who Killed Grimsley *and* Allen?"
Admiral: Yeah, I thought you'd notice that last part.
Dr. Sam Beckett: How did I die?
Admiral: Back-stomped an ounce of lead.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Klapper?
Admiral: Probably, but nobody ever collected on it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Who did the readers suspect?
Admiral: Everybody from Joseph Stalin to Colonel Mustard. But most of the folks voted for your paramour, the Red Widow.

Admiral: I remember my third-, fourth-, third-, third wife. Sharon and I, we fought for over eight months over Chester.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You have a son?
Admiral: Dog. Was a good dog. And she got him! I tell you, family court, women have all the power.

Al: There are five stages of love. The first is denial, then the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce... and then there's more sex, if you're lucky.
Sam: Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa?

Sam: How bad is it?
Admiral: It depends on how much you told them.
Sam: I think I told them everything Oswald knew about the U-2. Gary Powers.
Admiral: The Russians shoot him down next May, and that incident extends the Cold War for years.
Sam: That must be why I leaped in here, Al. To stop the Soviets from getting U-2 data from Oswald.
Admiral: [consults the handlink] Oh, no, Ziggy doesn't think so. There's a 96% probability that you didn't give the Soviets anything on the U-2 that they didn't already have. That's good.
Sam: But they shoot Powers down, right?
Admiral: Yeah. It was just a lucky shot with a SAM-2, a hundred-to-one shot.

Admiral: Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I had a fling with a beauty queen?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, and I don't wanna know.
Admiral: I was at flight school, and she was Miss Tail Gunner 1955. I tell you, she had a major-league set... of gun turrets. - That was a compliment.
Dr. Sam Beckett: On what planet?

[repeated line - season 1]
Sam: It all started when a time travel experiment I was conducting went... a little ka-ka. In the blink of a cosmic clock I went from quantum physicist to air force test pilot. Which could have been fun... if I knew how to fly. Fortunately, I had help. An observer from the project named Al. Unfortunately, Al's a hologram, so all he can lend is moral support. Anyway, here I am. Bouncing around in time, putting things right which once went wrong. A sort of time traveling Lone Ranger, with Al as my Tonto. And I don't even need a mask. Oh boy.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Gee, I hope the sheep are okay.

[when Al enters the church, the youngest children stop singing and point at him in amazement]
Ada: For heaven sakes, children, what is the matter?
Child: There's a ghost!
Child: It's not a ghost. It's an angel.
Child: No way. Not with those clothes.
Ada: Who are you talking to, child?
Admiral: Listen. I'm just here to try and help you.
Child: It's the Lord.
Ada: What?
Admiral: No. No, no, no, no, I'm not the Lord.
Child: It's Abraham Lincoln.
Child: No, it's not. He has a beard. That's some crazy white man.

Ziggy: Don't let Stawpah get your coat. He don't trust nobody. He forgets he ain't in Russia, where everybody works for the BVD.
Sam: KGB.
Ziggy: Hmm. Them too.

Cissy: [about an old couple] Can you believe that? They got married after only two weeks.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah.
Cissy: Do you marry someone after only a couple weeks?
Dr. Sam Beckett: If it was the right someone, I'd marry 'em after a couple of hours.

[last lines]
Sam: Everything's gonna be all right. Just trust me.
Vivian: What about your friend?
[...]
Sam: She's gone, Vivian. We did it. And you got to be one of the good guys. Thanks.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [Speaking to Michelle] Sometimes I feel like a scientist in the middle of an experiment that nobody else believes in. But then, you just have to tell yourself that you're the only person you can listen to, that you have to forget about the others.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Irene. Moe was just telling me how much he was looking forward to meeting with Dr. Scanlon.
Irene: Sandler.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sandler. Right.
Irene: Is that true?
Moe: No. I'd rather have a tooth drilled without Novocaine.

Michael G. Blake: [after diving through Al who's pretending to be the Ghost of Christmas Future] I must be dreaming.
Admiral: More like a nightmare.

[Al is looking at a larger than life-sized poster of Edie in a swimsuit, ogling especially the lower section of her body]
Dr. Sam Beckett: You reached her face yet?
Admiral: I'm working on it.

[first lines]
[Sam is embodying Rod, a Chippendale dancing in front of a mob of crazy women, who are trying to undress him]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [voice-over] In Ancient Rome, slaves were forced to fight armored gladiators to the death. If the slave survived, he'd be set free. In this crowd, he'd be eaten alive.

Admiral: Sam, this is just terrific. It's like the past come to life. You know, he just... he painted the hoof prints on there, and that's to show how many horse raids they went on, or how many horses they stole.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I thought we just borrowed them.
Joseph: The horses don't know that, eh?

Olivia: Where's the other one?
Dr. Sam Beckett: The other what?
Olivia: Whoever you were talking to.
Admiral: I'm right here, Scarlett. Oh, she's lovely. I always had a thing for girls from the Deep South.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [before entering Mary's house] Uh, women and holograms first.
Admiral: It's only a house, Sam.

Karen: I don't know how to thank you.
Roy: How about "Thank you"?

Admiral: You can't change a leopard's spots, Sam.

Al: If we knew the unknown, the unknown wouldn't be unknown.

[Sam is in the role of Harry Spontini, a magician]
Admiral: I, I'm sorry I missed your act, but... I caught a better one next door.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Let me guess, women's dressing room?
Admiral: Take pity on me, Sam, I haven't been myself lately. Tina's been away for a couple of weeks visiting her mother. And... I do have my needs, you know.
Dr. Sam Beckett: God forbid you should have two weeks' downtime.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, do you think that Abagail, a little girl like Abagail... could be capable of... murder?

Al: [referring to Ginny and Sam] She and Conway disappeared on a dig in 1957 - that's this dig - and they were swallowed up without a trace.
Sam: "As for anyone who will disturb the tomb of King Ptah-Hotep, death will swallow him." That was one of the inscriptions we found in the tomb.
Al: I'd say he's a man of his word.

Ross: We're just givin' the public what they want- sex and murder! Ratings, man, ratings! If people are sick enough to watch it, hell, let's give it to 'em.

Steve: [referring to Harry] Smile and enjoy it, Jamie. 'cause when I finish with him in court, it'll be a cold day in hell before you and your mother ever lay eyes on him again.

[Aggie sees Sam talking to - invisible - Al over Hilla's body]
Aggie: Talkin' to the stiffs again, Melvin?
Sam: Excuse me?
Aggie: That's the great thing about a stiff. They don't talk back, but, boy, can they listen.

Coach: What happened to your eye?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Huh? Oh. I, uh... I slipped in the bathroom and I kind of, you know, banged it on the sink.
Coach: I hope the sink's okay.

Nicole: Remember all those nights we'd sneak into the practice rooms and have to sing like this so that nobody would catch us?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, yeah. Juilliard.
Nicole: Oh, God, those were great years. We had everything ahead of us.
Dr. Sam Beckett: And now?
Nicole: We're older, wiser. Tireder.
Dr. Sam Beckett: May we rest in peace.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Why're you doing this?
The: To put an end to your meddling. Who gave you the right to go bungling around in time, putting right what I made wrong?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm just trying to get home.
The: Well, you're not going to make it!

[Alia his holding Sam at gunpoint]
Al: You gotta stop her, because she's gonna destroy you and Jimmy and the whole family.
Sam: Where do you come from?
Alia: What difference does it make? You lost and I won.
Sam: So you're gonna shoot me?
Alia: You're not the first person I've killed, Sam.
Zoey: Get on with it.
Sam: Why are you doing this?
Al: Because she's evil.
Sam: Evil?
Zoey: Now, there's a novel concept.
Al: Sam, she's your counterpart. You're good and she's evil. That's what she does.
Sam: No, I don't believe that there's some force leaping her around, ruining people's live for the pleasure of it.
Zoey: How deliciously naïve.
Alia: Then you're a fool.

Dr. Sam Beckett: How could Blake see you?
Admiral: Well, Ziggy says it was just a weird fluke.

Grace: Ralph's a lot like the country around here. It'll give you sustenance, but it'll darn sure make you work for it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Doesn't he know how rough that is on Ann?
Grace: I doubt he's ever thought much about it. He figures his life hadn't been easy, why should anyone else's?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, maybe because he loves her.
Grace: When did you get to be such an old softy? Yes, he does love her. Do you still?
Dr. Sam Beckett: She's my brother's wife.
Grace: That doesn't quite answer my question, does it?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, I don't love her. I just want them to be happy.
Grace: Well, you've made me happy. And, if you manage to make it rain, you'll make the town happy. But Ralph... that just might be a bigger miracle than the rain.

Frank: Harry, we got an open door.
Harry: Police... This is the Watergate. We have a break-in here.

Becky: I told you, I'm not going.
Ernie: Well, if you ain't goin', I guess you're stayin'. I got this spare room above my garage, it's yours for the night. And maybe if you get some sleep, you'll wake up with some sense. But I doubt it.

[Kevin sees the two kidnappers on the ground that Sam - Kevin's mom - has single-handedly knocked out earlier]
Kevin: Mom! How?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Girl Scouts. Come on.
Kevin: Girl Scouts? Awesome.

Karen: Tommy, what's wrong? Y-you don't return my phone calls, and... you don't listen to me when I talk. Don't you like me? I mean, I know that you're a senior and I'm only a freshman, but...
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, no, no, of course, of course I like you.
Karen: Well, then, why haven't you... you know.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?
Karen: I don't want you to think I'm easy or anything. But we've been going out for almost three months, and... you haven't even... you know?
Admiral: Yeah - you know?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I just didn't think that you wanted me to... y-you know.
Admiral: Oh, God, this is worse than I thought.

Admiral: If we knew the unknown, the unknown wouldn't be unknown.

Col. Deke Grimwald: I'm gonna forget about that joke because you're coming in off a hot mission, because we are fraternity brothers.
Navy Lt. Tom Beckett: I wasn't in a fraternity, sir. I went to Annapolis.
Col. Deke Grimwald: [shows his class ring] I went to West Point. I like to think of us Academy men as fraternity brothers, don't you?
Navy Lt. Tom Beckett: Ha! Not during the Army-Navy game, sir.

Nurse: What is it, Tibby?
Admiral: [stopping Tibby who is pointing at him] Don't you say anything! Or they're gonna put you in a hole so deep under this place, you'll never get out!
Tibby: [to Chatam, smiling innocently] Nothing. Never mind.

Admiral: [to Sam whose mind has been scrambled by an electro shock therapy session while in the persona of a mental patient] I've got Dr Beeks here with me. And she's got a theory to get you to leap.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Where is she?
Admiral: She's right here. But you can't see her because she isn't tuned into your brainwaves like I am. Would you like to see her?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, sure.
[Al looks as if he's taken someone by the hand and instantly Dr Beeks pops into view, who then says something to Al that's inaudible to Sam and the audience but not to him]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, I can see her, but I can't... I can't hear her.
Admiral: Well, you can't hear her because touching her just brings in the image.
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's kinda weird.
Admiral: This whole leap is weird Sam.

[last lines]
Jazz: Hey! Hey. Tell Al goodbye for me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: He can hear ya.
Jazz: Thanks, Al!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Thanks, Al.
Admiral: Bye, Sam.

Al: I've had Dr. Beeks do a little computer research on you.
Arnold: [looks at the handlink] Is that Dr. Beeks?
Al: No. Dr. Beeks is a person. She's a psychologist, she works here.
Arnold: So that's a computer.
Al: A terminal, yeah.
Arnold: It's amazing. The computer at the college takes up rooms and rooms.

Admiral: This house has been in operation f-, since the Civil War. Your great grandf-, or, or, or Gilbert's great grandfather, started this place.
Dr. Sam Beckett: But why a quilting academy? What is that?
Admiral: Well, in those days, it was common for a bordello to hide behind the cover of a legitimate business. But believe me, Sam, the only thing being sewn out there are wild oats.

[Billy is at the side of the pool, about to commit suicide]
Billy: I should have died in that stinking jungle.
Sam: The war's over, Sergeant.
Billy: Over? Does this look like it's over to you? I was an all-state halfback in high school. I scored fifteen touchdowns my senior year. My body was perfect. Yet now, I can't even feel it.
Sam: Well, you still got your mind.
Billy: Do I?
[...]
Sam: You know, y-you're not the only one hurtin' around here. My wife just told me that she wants a divorce. She said she met someone else, and that things aren't the same anymore. She's right. They're not. We're not. Things won't ever be the same again. Nobody could go through what we... did, and ever be the same. But that doesn't mean that we don't count.
Billy: You don't get it, do you? This war don't mean nothin'. It never did. They gave us the... the prettiest guns and the biggest bombs; but they didn't give us a chance. I lost everything! And in a few years, nobody'll even remember Vietnam.
Sam: Then we have to remind them. We won't let them forget, because every time they see us, they'll have to remember.
Billy: You know, at night, I close my eyes and, and I, and I'm back there. I see it all. I-it's like a song that plays over and over again, and you can't get it out of your head. Sometimes, it gets so loud, I think my brain is gonna explode. I just want it to be quiet. How can I make it quiet?

Mary: What else did I do while you were unconscious?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh... Well, you got angry at me and... made a skull fly across the room. Of course, it could've been worse, it could've been kitchen knives.
Stevie: Wow, what a neat idea!
[a car pulls up in front of the house, hooting]
Mary: Hi, Mrs. King!
Stevie: Hi, Mom!
Dr. Sam Beckett: [suspiciously] "Stevie"?
Admiral: [confirms] King.

Dr. Sam Beckett: You know, Mack has never been to Las Vegas before. I-I saw him earlier. He-He's checkin' out all these one-armed burglars.
Frankie: Bandits.
Dr. Sam Beckett: That too.

Marsha: Ladies, lick your lips and swivel your hips!

Chase: [interviewing] Tonic, what were you thinking, when you wrote: "As I travel in space and time, I want to stay, I want to go. You can see my face, but it's not mine. What you can't see, you'll never know." What can't we see?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Tonic, after Flash makes a joke] Well, um... I guess what I, what I really was, uh, meaning, er, to say was, uh, that, um, we all... live our lives behind masks. But the real point of living is to get beyond, to break through those masks, from the outside and from the inside, so that we can really communicate. Un, unfortunately, most of us don't.

Sam: It all started when a time travel experiment I was conducting went... a little ka-ka. In the blink of a cosmic clock I went from quantum physicist to air force test pilot. Which could have been fun... if I knew how to fly. Fortunately, I had help. An observer from the project named Al. Unfortunately, Al's a hologram, so all he can lend is moral support. Anyway, here I am. Bouncing around in time, putting things right which once went wrong. A sort of time traveling Lone Ranger, with Al as my Tonto. And I don't even need a mask. Oh boy.

Dr. Sam Beckett: This is horrible!
Admiral: What are you complaining about? Most guys would kill to be in a room full of screaming, sex-crazed women, who want nothing more than to...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Treat me like a piece of meat.
[he opens the door just a slit and slams it shut again to the still screaming crowd of women]
Admiral: Exactly.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [speaking as Darlene] You know, getting into show business isn't easy.
Connie: Neither is watching the world pass you by. I may not make it, but there's gotta be something more to life than kids and catalogs.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm taking the case, Al. Does history change?
Admiral: Not unless you do something to change it.

Sam: I know how to open the chamber door. I designed Ziggy with a back-door code, so that I could override any command, even one dealing with catastrophic failure. All we have to do is get the code to Gushie.
Admiral: Oh, well, that should be easy enough. All we have to do is wait half a century.
Sam: Well, in a sense, yes, but for us, it'll be instantaneous. Now, we've gotta figure out what the date is where I'm at today.
Admiral: September 18th, 1999.
Sam: Your Swiss-cheesed brain remembers today's date?
Admiral: My fifth wife is suing me for more alimony, and that's the court date. There's some days you don't forget.
Sam: Okay. Okay. We deliver a letter to Gushie on September the 18th, nineteen-hundred and ninety-nine.
Admiral: Who's gonna wait 54 years to deliver a letter?
Sam: The post office. And my dad's lawyer, Doc Krosnov. We mail Doc Krosnov a letter, right? With, say, a hundred bucks.
Admiral: For the stamp.
Sam: No, no, no, no, no, it's 1945. $100 will do very nicely. We mail him a letter, with $100 and instructions to have the code delivered to Gushie on September the 18th, nineteen-hundred and ninety-nine.
Admiral: It could work.
Sam: It's gotta work.

Admiral: I'm not into necrophilia.
Dr. Sam Beckett: At last, something sexual he's not into.

Sam: [v.o] College is wasted on the young. I mean, think of it: a four-year license to learn and have fun without the pressures of work and family.

Admiral: I know that you're sympathetic with the situation here because it's your home town and all of that, but Ziggy says there's a 73.9% chance that if you surrender, you'll leap.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Leap? Why would I wanna leap? I'm home.
Admiral: But you're here to save the brothers, right? So? You got to turn yourself in. Right? So? Let's go! Right?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I can't.
Admiral: Eh... How did I know he was gonna say that?

[Blake is demanding of Captain Downey and her Salvation Army that they move out of their mission, which is to be destroyed]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Pearson] Sir, maybe she could move into one of your properties, and all the other people could go...
Calloway: Shut up, Pearson.
Michael G. Blake: Shut up, Calloway.
Calloway: Yes, sir.

[Al is teaching Sam how to pitch]
Admiral: You can't hold it like that. It's hand pitching.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What's wrong with holding it like this?
Admiral: Because i... It's fine if that was a hand grenade, but it's a baseball. You gotta treat it like a woman.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Why does everything always come down to being a woman?

Dr. Sam Beckett: Can you believe it? I mean, can you believe how she set me up like that?
Admiral: Well, you know, there's women that get a big thrill out of watching men suffer. Trust me on this, I've been married to most of them.

Admiral: What's the matter with you? What're you doing?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm following my gut.
Admiral: I hope you got good guts.
Dr. Sam Beckett: So do I.

Oswald: Hidell, Alex James. Private, first class. Serial number: 1522597.
Al: Hidell? You're saying your name is Hidell?
Oswald: What are you, hard of hearing?
[Al consults his handlink]
Oswald: What's that?
Al: Uh, it's a tape recorder. New model.
Oswald: You won't need it. I've already told you everything I'm obliged to tell you under the rules of the Geneva Convention.
Al: Well, you're obliged to tell the truth. 1653230, that's your real serial number, isn't it, Private Oswald?
Oswald: [pause] That's no tape recorder.
Al: So we both lied.

Jani: You know, if we had those glasses you can get in the back of comic books, we could look through these walls with our X-ray vision.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I could never get mine to work.
Jani: That's because all the girls' dresses were specially treated.

Admiral: I am the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Pamela: Sometimes the hardest thing about being a cop is knowing when to walk away.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sometimes you can't walk away.

Al: You're part of a time travel experiment that went a little... ka-ka.

Roy: [after rescuing Daniel from a crevice] Hey, Henry?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah?
Roy: I don't think I'm gonna see them snakes no more.

[Kiki is studying Sam's palm]
Sam: Wait a second. You read palms?
Kiki: A hundred-year-old Gypsy king taught me. Maybe he was closer to 80. But he was definitely a king.
Sam: How could you tell?
Kiki: He had a crown.

[Clifford has just learned that his fiance Suzanne is now going to marry Tom, i.e. Al]
Clifford: You can't be serious. We're to be married in two days! What are my mother and father gonna say about that?
Sam: Cancel the church, cancel the reception, cancel the tux, the cake...

The: [about 'Hamlet'] This is... Denmark, 1500. Deception is in the air. Everything is... damp, musty, frigid.
Admiral: [entering] That sounds like my third wife, or was it my second or fourth... most of my wives.

Razul: 3500 years ago... other men and women sat around campfires near here, waiting to bury their great pharaoh. And now... and now, they're like the grains of sand around us. It makes one wonder what all our efforts are about, hm?

Sam: Al... it-it's not morally right to sleep with a woman that you don't love.
Al: I agree.
Sam: You agree?
Al: I have loved every woman I ever slept with - at the time I slept with them.

Sybil,: [looking into Sam's eyes] I never noticed before how many times you've been reincarnated.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I, um... I don't believe in reincarnation.
Sybil,: You would if you could see all the souls I see in your eyes.

[Al has suddenly materialized]
Sam: Can't you just fade in, or something?
Al: If you can tell me how to fade in agitated carbon quarks, then I'll make the scientific journal!

Lamar the Promoter: You can't win.
Ronny: Can't win? What are you talking about? This is a title match!
Lamar the Promoter: Well, you bet it's a title match. And you boys are "the Russians". Now, how the hell is it going to look to the American public to have a couple of communists be the world champion?
Ronny: But we're not from Russia, we're from Arkansas!
Lamar the Promoter: I know that. You know that. But John Q. Public don't know that. To him, you represent the epitome of evil - something to be destroyed!

Admiral: [reading from a book on vampires] "Vampires are not merely blood seekers..."
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, no.
Admiral: "They are sexually obsessed, and many of them possess insatiable carnal urges beyond the grave." Now, what does that tell you?
Dr. Sam Beckett: It tells me that vampires and holograms have a lot in common.

[Sam has leaped into Leon Stiles, an illiterate murderer]
Sam: [voice-over] I've always made it a rule never to judge people on first impressions. Of course, rules are made to be broken.

Joseph: Did you scalp him?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No. I gave him a haircut instead.

Jack: You know, Mike Hammond called me on the phone about ten minutes ago, and you know what he said? He said that they weren't sure that they wanted to pledge anyone with such a monumental jerk as a roommate.
Sam: Why would you wanna pledge a fraternity that's full of idiots in the first place?
Jack: Full of what?
Al: You said the wrong thing, Sam. His dad was a Chi Kappa Delta idiot, and his granddad, and his great-granddad was a founding idiot.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [in some kind of prayer] I don't know who's running this show. I don't know why I was chosen. I bounce around from place to place. I do everything I'm supposed to do. At least the best way I can. But I don't know how to do this one. I mean, you gotta help me. I figure you owe me. For a couple of times anyway. You make it rain. You hear me? You make it rain!

Dr. Sam Beckett: I felt Billy Jean's baby kick inside of me right there!
Admiral: Gas!
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?
Admiral: You probably feel gas from eating this junk.
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, no, no, no. Dotty felt it too.
Admiral: Oh, that'd be a neat trick, since Billy Jean's baby is inside Billy Jean forty years in the future!
Dr. Sam Beckett: All I know is, Dotty had her hand on my stomach, and we both felt the baby kick.

[Sam is heading back to hold off the Sheriff]
Joseph: George. Are you going to scalp him?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No.
Joseph: Oh. Too bad.

Al: [Styles draws his gun on a Corporal that's just exited an elevator who then does the same] If you kill him, Dr Beckett can never get back. Put the gun away. That's an order, Corporal!

Dr. Sam Beckett: [about the Bermuda Triangle] You're not gonna tell me that you believe all the myths, are you?
Admiral: Sam, a lot of freaky things have happened out here. There are ships that disappear, planes vanish, even on clear days. Like this one.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Disasters at sea are not that uncommon, even on clear days like this one.
Admiral: There's theories that say that it's either electromagnetic vortices or else it's...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Or sea monsters.
Admiral: How did you know?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Right, I remember.
Admiral: Giant prehistoric lizard fish have been seen by sailors in the Ber...
[Sam starts laughing]
Admiral: What's so funny? What're you laughin' about?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm just joking, okay?
Admiral: It is no joke, Sam. If I wasn't a hologram, I wouldn't be caught dead out here.

Gina: When I was a kid, I remember thinking that you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. You had every boy in town chasing after you.
Marsha: Yeah. And most of 'em caught me.

[last lines]
Sam: What happens now?
Al: [consulting his handlink] Uh... Dr. Winger, he stops his tests with chimps. Oh, that's good. And he still goes on, develops this helmet that's still in use. It saves a lot of human lives.
Sam: That's great, Al. What about Leslie?
Al: Uh, she... Let's see, she starts her own vet practice in Santa Fe in 1965, and she builds this sanctuary for orphaned and ex-research chimps.
Sam: What about Cory?
Al: Tuh - sh-she and Bobo have a baby.
Sam: [laughing] Well, thank goodness I won't be around for that.

[when trying to touch him, Tibby reaches with his arm through Al]
Admiral: Hey, keep your hands out of me, will you? God.
Tibby: [looking at his hand, nonplussed] Uh, I gotta check my medication.

[Sam has let one of his hostages go]
Gushie: According to this, there's a 91.6% chance... you should be leaping. Apparently, saving the little girl accomplished your mission. Except...
Sam: Except I can't leap. Because we don't have Stiles in the waiting room.
Gushie: Time and space can be a bitch.

Sammy: Do you believe in miracles, Mr. Stanton?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Miracles?
Sammy: Someone, if they really love somebody, could go back in time, and... be part of their lives.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, if that's a miracle, then yes, I believe in miracles.
Sammy: I want to go back in time someday.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You do?
Sammy: I want to meet my daddy. I want to tell him...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Tell him what?
Sammy: It doesn't matter.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sure it does. It... It matters.
Sammy: Just that I love him. But he knows.

Admiral: Sometimes I think fidelity is highly overrated. Uh, nobody looks at the downside.
Sam: There's a downside to being faithful?
Admiral: Of course. It discourages social interaction. Look, Sam, if all the men in all the world could freely socialize with all the women in all the world, there would be no war.
Sam: Until their wives found out.
Admiral: Good point.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [to Al] If you're gonna sneak up on me, at least you could have the decency to reflect in the mirror!

Zoey: Frat boys, my favorite college subject.

[At Sam and Al's first meeting]
Sam: Who are you?
Al: My name is Albert... Albert what, I can't tell you because it's restricted. Most of what you'll want to know is restricted, so it would be a lot easier if you don't ask a lot of questions.
Sam: What are you?
Al: That's a question, Sam.

Thames: [of Alia] Well, she should've been terminated years ago.
Zoey: The pleasure's now mine.
Thames: All systems are on full power. It's only a matter of time. Unless, of course, she finds you first.
[Zoey smashes her glass against the wall]
Zoey: You just make sure that doesn't happen.

Cmdr. Dobbs: How long were you on the cliff watching someone rape your wife...?
Cmdr. Riker: Not just "someone". It was Ensign Calavicci.
Cmdr. Dobbs: ...before you tried to get to the beach?
Cmdr. Riker: A minute. Maybe two.
Cmdr. Dobbs: A minute or two?
[pauses and looks at his watch]
Pollack: Sir, I object.
Cmdr. Dobbs: I'm trying to demonstrate how long two minutes really is.
Judge: I had a ship blown out from under me in the Leyte Gulf in less than two minutes, Commander. It can be a lifetime - or a blink of the eye. Now, get on with it.
Cmdr. Dobbs: [to Riker] Did you do anything during this two minutes other than to watch?
Cmdr. Riker: No, I believe I did not.
Cmdr. Dobbs: You didn't yell?
Cmdr. Riker: Yell?
Cmdr. Dobbs: "Hey, stop that!"
Pollack: I object. Defense Council is badgering the witness.
Cmdr. Dobbs: The Commander requested clarification. I simply gave it to him.
Judge: Objection overruled.
Cmdr. Dobbs: Did you yell?
Cmdr. Riker: No, sir.
Cmdr. Dobbs: You watched a man rape your wife for a minute or two, and didn't even yell "Stop"?
Cmdr. Riker: No, sir.
Cmdr. Dobbs: For God's sake, Commander, why not?
Cmdr. Riker: Because she *deserved* it.

[Al the hologram didn't tell Sam to free him from the POW camp while he was leaping, instead letting Sam save his brother's life]
Al: What the hell. I get repatriated in five years.
Sam: You could've been free.
Al: I was free.
Al: [taps his temple] Up here, I was always free.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I can fly!
Admiral: You can dial.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Just find me the rest of this book, you know, because for the life of me, I can't remember how it ended.
Admiral: Well, it wasn't with Allison and Nick living happily ever after.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You read it?
Admiral: No. But if it ended like that, why would you be here? So they could live unhappily ever after?

[about Al]
Sam: The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!

[Al has just been shot by Stiles]
Hooker: Oh, my God. I thought you were dead.
Al: [groans] No, I'm not dead.
[he opens his jacket]
Hooker: What's that?
Al: That's a... that's... a bulletproof vest. And never track a psychotic killer without one.
Hooker: Hey, is that guy from another planet, or what?
Al: Mostly "or what".

Admiral: I know it hurts, Sam, but you did the right thing.
Sam: I always do - I always do the right thing Al and where does it get me? I m - Why can I always save strangers, but not the people I love?
Admiral: I don't know.
Sam: Well, I'm not gonna do it anymore. I'm not gonna do it.
Sam: [yelling to the sky] You hear that? Whoever you are, *whatever* you are, I'm not doing it anymore! I *quit*!
Sam: [to Al] I quit.
[Sam runs away through the cornfield]
Admiral: Sam!

Sam: The guy who was sitting at that table, where did he go?
Tonchi: What're you talking about?
Sam: He was sittin' right there, and... and then he was... surrounded by some... blue light, and then-then electricity passed... all through his body and... then he disappeared.
Mutta: Whatever Sam's drinking, I'll have one!

[after Norma has smashed a tray with a tea set against the wall]
Al: You know, she reminds me of my second wife; only, her specialty was small appliances.

[last lines]
Moe: Today's letter is from little Sam Beckett in Elk Ridge, Indiana. Sam writes: "Dear Captain Galaxy. Could you please explain your theory of time travel to us?" Well, Sam. Our lifetimes are like a piece of string. But... if you roll the string up into a ball, all the days of your life...

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Tommy on why he was talking to himself after Al left] Yes. Yeah, my graduation speech. You know what they say, it's never too soon to start early.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [after reading Henry's journal] Al, there were four of them who went off to Vietnam. High school buddies.
Admiral: Why do I get the feeling this story does not have a happy ending?

[last lines]
Admiral: You know, there's one thing that I-I... just doesn't figure for me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What's that?
Admiral: Well, was Tommy... gay or not?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Does it matter?

[Al has found out that Boone is innocent regarding the robbery of the jewelry store]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Was the real robber ever caught?
Admiral: Uh, negative.
Dr. Sam Beckett: All right, look. You gotta find out who the real guy is, right, then get me the information so I can get it to the people who can do something about it!
Admiral: Yeah, and if I had blond hair and I could sing, I'd be Madonna.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Cole, about Jake] He robbed a store in Kerrville last night, the same way he did in Langston. Or, at least, that's what I heard he was gonna do.
Boss: Warden, I don't think you should listen...
Captain: Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh.
Captain: [after a pause, to Sam] And how would you know that?
Dr. Sam Beckett: If you don't believe me, why don't you just... talk to the sheriff in Kerrville, ask him?
Captain: [strikes Sam] Hell, that's about enough sass outta you, boy.

Arnold: I'm talking about Michael of the Chi Kappas.
Al: Don't worry about him. He's taken care of.
Arnold: I believe you. You have the light of truth in your eyes.
Al: My ex-wives'd never say that.

[Sam just left to go find Kevin, with Al staying behind]
Ox: Man, with a mother like that I'd still be a virgin too.
Admiral: You are still a virgin, pimple-puss. And you're gonna be a virgin for another six years.

Admiral: [about true love] I mean, it only happens once in a lifetime, and, and you have to be lucky.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, how would you know?
Admiral: What do you mean, how would I know?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm... That's not, it's not fair, I'm sorry. I'm sure, I mean, given the sheer volume of attempts, that, uh, you had to luck out once.
Admiral: Yeah. All right, I had good odds, and, and yes, for one brief moment, it happened to me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What, d'you forget to get her number?
Admiral: No, I got married.

[last lines]
[Sam has offered to teach Kyle to swim, like a father would his son]
Kyle: Father?
Laura: What're you saying, Frank?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Um...
Admiral: That's okay. Frank and Laura get married.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I guess... I guess I'm... asking you to marry me - Frank. M-me.
Laura: You guess?
Admiral: I guess, "guess" is not the best choice of words, Sam.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [chuckles and clears throat] Will you marry me?
Kyle: Yes!
Laura: Yes. Yes!

Theodore: Are you going to... dance before your execution, Jesus? Oh... It's an old prison saying. That a man on his final walk to the chair - the stench of fear chokes him, and he panics, struggling in the arms of his captor for one moment of freedom. Some people say it looks like a dance - the last dance before death. A little manic, don't you think?

[about Al]
Sam: The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of 5 has nothing to do with the rest of the world!

Al: Your best shot is freezing the brain until all electrical activity has ceased.
Dr. Sam Beckett: That's called death.
Al: I never said it would be easy.

Father: [telling Sam about his time in the war] The enemy ran suicide squads at us all day long. All day. I don't know how many men I killed that day - fifty, hundred... I just can't remember anymore. But I swore, if I lived, I'd spend the rest of my life making up for it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: So you became a priest.
Father: It seemed like a good start at the time. Now I don't know.

[Coach hands the mascot pig over to Sam, who embodies "Doc", an aging baseball player]
Dr. Sam Beckett: What's this?
Coach: You know the rules. The one who screws up babysits Milo. You did, so you do.

John Tremaine Jr.: It's 10 after. I'm sure she'll be here any second.
John: You don't know Marilyn. They should have given her her own time zone.

Stevie: One of these days, I'm gonna write the scariest book in the whole wide world. Except, then nobody'll probably buy it.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Have you ever looked at a beautiful building? And noticed the columns, and the... domes and windows, and, you know, stuff like that? And... you never looked at the foundation, did you? Not once. Never even thought about the foundation. But without the foundation, the whole building would topple down, and there wouldn't be any more domes or windows or columns or... Maybe you should think of Ralph like he was a foundation.
Annie: Okay.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Okay?
Annie: Okay. He's a pile of posts that are better off buried and you don't even notice until they rot. And then you either replace 'em, or you move on. Well, thanks, Billy. I never quite saw it that way.

[Al is giving Sam the rundown on the woman Alia has leaped into; Sam passes some of the information on to Alia]
Al: Angela Jenson, her nickname, 'Angel'; nineteen years old, arrested for pot- selling pot, and it was an election year. They threw the book at her.
[Sam points at himself and mouths 'Who am I?']
Al: Hm? Oh, uh, well, uh-uh, one of the two women in the Waiting Room says her name is Liz T- Elizabeth Tate. She's in for murder. The other one is in a state of shock. -... - And, and Liz, uh, says that a-after her husband beat her the fifteenth time, she shot him.
Sam: That's not murder, that's self-defense.
Al: That's not what the jury said.

Becky: I've got to live life if I'm gonna be a writer. I've got to stay on the road.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Being on the road doesn't mean that you literally have to be on the road, I don't think. I mean, I think it's more about... the journey of life, maybe, and, and... you can start that right here.

Machiko: I see your mother do everything for Henry-san.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, well, um, Henry worked very hard for a long time. Uh, now he's retired.
Machiko: Oh. I think all men in Japan must be retired.

[Al is butting in on Helen while she is making out with Sam]
Admiral: Let's go catch Dylan down in the village after dinner. I used to love, I... I used... Aye aye aye... This was always my favorite part of modeling, actually.

Mama: Back in Mariposa, it was the white man's hatred. Now it's the Negroes angry about what's supposed to be. Seems no matter where we go, we can't get away from the hate.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Maybe it's not the place that makes the difference, but the people.
Mama: That's why you being a doctor here is so important. Show these kids in the street they can be somebody better.

Dr. Sam Beckett: What do you want?
Victor: Isn't it obvious? I want your soul. More directly, your blood.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You can't be serious.
Victor: I'm more than serious. I'm compelled.
Dr. Sam Beckett: But that's murder.
Victor: Nonsense! The soul can never die. It can only be... reinvented.

Al: What about the Quantum rules? You have to at least pretend that you are who you leap into.
Sam: That's if I'm a human. I'm not a human, I'm a chimp! We don't have rules for chimps, do we?
Al: You can't get off on a technicality.
Sam: Okay, wise guy, then what am I here to do?
Al: Join the circus.

[Sam is questioning Al's - and Ziggy's - prediction of what Sam is supposed to do during the leap]
Dr. Sam Beckett: You sure?
Admiral: [looking at handlink] Yeah, It's right here in yellow and pink... and green and blue and orange and purple...

Dr. Sam Beckett: Al. Al! What year is it?
Admiral: 1961.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Great. The tail end of the most immature period in history. All the guys still drink malts, drive hot rods and wear butch wax in their hair. And the girls all have pillow fights, chat on the phone, blind dates and get their panties raided.
Admiral: Ah, those were the good old days.

Neil: Say, what kind of joint is this?
Liz: It's an art house.
Neil: Well, tell Art to get a real theater.

Emma: I want to spend... some part of my life as me - whoever that is. Not just as someone's... I don't know, daughter or wife or... or mother. I want to st... I want to stop feeling like...
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Butchie] A non-person.
Emma: Yeah. A non-person. I feel like a non-person.

[after Phillip has prepared to hang himself because he is gay, the Coach tries to talk him out of it]
Coach: You're not alone, Phillip. I know about the guilt - the shame, the fear. I spent my whole life that way. Wondering why I had to be different. Hoping that it'd just pass. Well, it's okay to be different. And the only ones we have to be afraid of are ourselves. You and Tommy made me realize that. You and I? Hey, we got nothing to be ashamed of. Now, come on down. We'll save the cops a lot of paperwork.

[Jamie is preparing the Table of Death]
Jamie: I re-rigged the shackles, to open at once. It'll be a snap.
Dr. Sam Beckett: If it's such a snap, uh... why, why do they call it the... Table of Death?
Admiral: 'cause two guys have died doing it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [whispering to Al, with a twinge of panic] Two guys have died?
Jamie: But you're better than them, Harry.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [uneasily] Huh. Yeah...
Jamie: You will have an extra fifteen seconds before it hits the final latch. Then, all 900 pounds of canopy come slamming down and splattering your guts all over the place.

Admiral: [referring to Chucky] What are you so interested in this kid for anyway?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [sighs] 'cause he reminds me of you.
Admiral: Oh. What?
Dr. Sam Beckett: You remember the first time we met, Al? You were running the Star Bright Project, and, uh, I came into the lab, and you were smashing the vending machine with a hammer.
Admiral: Oh, uh-mmm, it ate my dime.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, you were, you were drunk and, uh, angry, and... the government wanted to wash you out of the project completely, but I stopped them. Because I knew that underneath all that booze and that anger was a pretty terrific person.
Admiral: So you think this... kid is a terrific person too?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know. But I think he deserves a chance to find out. Don't you?

[upon finding the real burial chamber]
Razul: Not even Tutankhamen in all his glory had anything like this.
Sam: The wealth of a kingdom, buried with their god.

Dr. Sam Beckett: There's nothing wrong with bein' a dreamer.
Sue: It hurts too much when you wake up.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You'll never know unless you try.

[Oswald has taken over Sam's mind, who is in the book depository with his rifle, waiting for the presidential motorcade]
Admiral: Sam! Sam! Listen to me! Sam! I got to reach you, Sam! Sam, what are the four fundamental forces of interactions in quantum physics? Sam. Sam, explain the Pauli exclusion principle. Sam, what is supersymmetry, and how does it apply...? This is never gonna work. It's all happening again. It's November 22, 1963 and it's all happening again! Sam! Sam! It's November 22, 1963! Sam, and your dad is still alive! He's teaching you to drive a tractor, Sam. It's-, it's Elkridge, Indiana. You're ten years old and your dad is teaching you to drive a tractor. At this very moment, your dad is still alive, and he's teaching you to drive a tractor, Sam! On the farm in Indiana! He's still alive!
Sam: Dad.
[Sam leaps]

Dana: [Speaking to Sam as Peter Langly] I wanna love someone so much that the thought of living without him would be too much to bear. I wanna breathe him. I want the scent of him to make me smile. I wanna look into his eyes and know that I'm alive.

Sam: I can't have a life. All I do is live someone else's life. I right their wrongs, I fight their fights - geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote.

Sam: You're not evil, Alia. Whatever trapped you in time is.

[Sam has to deal with a pair of very flirtatious twins]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [taking them in his arms] Let me ask you, ladies, what... is it exactly that you have in mind?
Lisel: Well, Elsa and I have a political function to attend. And we thought...
Dr. Sam Beckett: [starts kissing them one by one] Something, uh, wild, or something... free?
Admiral: Hey! Is that part of me still in you or what?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Maybe.
Admiral: Stop this!
Elsa: Maybe?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Maybe we should make some of those uptight political types really suffer! So why don't you ladies get out of those clothes, slip into some robes? We'll wash you...
[handkiss]
Dr. Sam Beckett: We'll rinse you...
[handkiss]
Dr. Sam Beckett: And I'll think of something really nasty for your hair. Rraorr!
[the twins growl back and disappear in a corridor; all the while, Al's face has become longer and longer]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Ha! You're drooling!
Admiral: Of course I'm drooling. Why are you doing this to me? I never had my own little set of twins, ha-ha.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Because you deserve it.
Admiral: Huh?
Dr. Sam Beckett: You nag me if I don't resist women, and you nag me if I do resist...
Admiral: You're doing this to torture me!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yes. And it's working.

Charles: I'd like to help you, but...
Violet: [finishes] But you won't.
Charles: [leaning forward, speaks quietly] I am the first negro loan officer in this bank. Do you know what I had to go through to get here? How many extra hours and weekends I had to put in? How many times I had to swallow my pride and say, "Well done," to men promoted into positions I earned? Know how many nigger jokes I had to pretend not to hear?
Charles: [leans back, speaks loudly] I'm sorry, Miss Walters, but I don't see how I can recommend your request to our loan committee.
Violet: Come on, poppy, we're wasting our breath on this *white* man!
[she storms out, but Sam gets up more slowly and lingers a moment]
Dr. Sam Beckett: You made it. Maybe it took you twice as long, but you've made it. And being the first bears some responsibility to those who are trying to make it behind you.

Kiki: I wanted to help, so I became a volunteer. It helps pass the time.
Sam: You don't strike me as a person who just passes the time.
Kiki: Hmm, waiting is more like it.
Sam: Boyfriend?
Kiki: Little brother.
Sam: What's his name?
Kiki: Robert Allen. Bobby.
Sam: How long has Bobby been gone?
Kiki: It'll be two years in December.
Sam: I'm sorry.
Kiki: Hm. Not as sorry as he's gonna be when I see him.

[Zoey and Alia have just discovered that Arnold is actually Sam, who Alia has previously been instructed to kill]
Zoey: You know, Lothos is not too pleased with your prior performance concerning Dr. Beckett.
Alia: Well, then why the hell did he send me here?
Zoey: Seems to be as much of a surprise to Lothos as it is to us.
Alia: He's supposed to know everything.
Zoey: He does. Dr. Beckett's appearances follow the random event theory. It's just a fantastic stroke of luck - or maybe a little test to see if you've improved.
Alia: Just tell me my mission.
Zoey: Oh. Don't tell me, after all you've been through, that you still...
Alia: Just tell me. I'm supposed to kill him, right? I'm supposed to blow his brains out?
Zoey: 'fraid not, darling. Seems you weren't too successful with the gun last time. Perhaps a grenade or a flamethrower?
Alia: Zoey, just tell me!
Zoey: Lothos hasn't decided. But whatever happens, Beckett must not know that you're here, so you may not touch him. Pity.

Sam: Al. If you can't be helpful, why don't you leave, okay?
Al: Helpful?
Sam: Yeah.
Al: I'm being helpful. I'm keeping you company down here in the tomb of... King Heebie-Jeebie.

Prostitute: Stir my gumbo!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh, uh, yes, ma'am.
Prostitute: Now, don't you be sassing me!

Al: There was a girl named Trudy. She was retarded, Sam. Her IQ was lower than Jimmy's. And all the kids in the neighborhood, they used to tease her. Kids can be cruel. They'd call her names, like dummy and monkey face. And I hated it. And I used to get in fights all the time over this. But that's what big brothers are for, right? My mother couldn't handle it. That's probably why she ran off with this stupid encyclopedia salesman. But my dad tried to keep us all together. And he was a construction worker. He went from job to job, and then when it took him to the Middle East, I wound up in an orphanage, and she wound up in an institution. When I was old enough, I went back there for her, but it was too late. She was gone, Sam! Pneumonia they said. How does a 16-year-old girl die from pneumonia in 1953, Sam? We're not gonna lose Jimmy! Right?

[Sam is recording promos for Dr. Ruth's radio show]
Sam: [very uncomfortably] This is Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Tomorrow on Frank Talk About Sex, we're going to discuss some common male sexual dysfunctions like premat-ture... premature... Well, we're gonna discuss a lot of things that I'm sure will be very stimulating. U-uplifting. Interesting! And that'll be tomorrow, right here, on my show.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [pitching an atom bomb shelter] There you have it: the, er... Ellroy Super-Deluxe, designed to let you sit back, relax and... survive in style. So, er... what do you think?
Mrs. Klingman: I think your pitch needs work.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, well... I'm not really much of a salesman. It's kind of my first day here.
Mrs. Klingman: No, we don't need so much space. It's only me and my husband. We only have so much from his pension and what I make teaching piano.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Mrs. Klingman... you don't have to worry, they're not going to attack us.
[she shudders and moans]
Dr. Sam Beckett: What? What is it? Here, s... sit down, sit down. What's wrong? You okay?
[Sam sees a serial number tattooed on her forearm]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
Mrs. Klingman: [shrugs] It was a long time ago.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Whatever I said to upset you, I'm really sorry.
Mrs. Klingman: No, no, no, no, no. No, it was the words. "Don't worry. They're not going to attack us." I heard those words before. I believed, and look at what happened. Dachau, Buchenwald... Now it is happening all over again. And this time, there will be no survivors.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Then why waste your money on a shelter?
Mrs. Klingman: [laughing] You're right. You're not much of a salesman!

[after hearing Al's theory that Hilla had a crush on William Holden, Sam finds a poster for "Picnic" in her room]
Sam: You would've made a great Dr. Watson, Al.

Margerita: Let it go, Theo. It's over.
Theodore: Over? Yes, for him it's over. For you, it's just beginning. For you I have a special punishment to fit your disloyalty.
Margerita: It's hard to be loyal to the devil.

[about the time he crashed in the Bermuda Triangle]
Capt. Cooper: I wasn't in the water those eight days in '44. I was picked up by the USS Cyclops the day I went in. Seven days later, she was torpedoed. Went down with everyone but me. A freighter, the Michael Z picked me up the next day. Now twice in eight days, I was the only survivor.
Sam: Well, that is quite a coincidence.
Capt. Cooper: Yeah, I guess so.
Al: [consulting the handlink] Sam, the USS Cyclops disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle in 1918, twenty-six years before Cooper was picked up.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Look. Everybody should be a dreamer. I mean, you gotta reach for the stars, not for the ceiling.
Sue: But the ceiling keeps you out of the rain.

Ronnie: [to Sam] Dating the Admiral's daughter. Buddy, you've either got a lot of guts or no brains.

[Sam is Gilbert, owner of a brothel that also hosts the somewhat misplaced prostitute Gina]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I've got a funny feeling about her, Al. I think she's as lost here as I am.

Tamlyn: Who are you?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm Dylan- Dylan.
Tamlyn: No, you're not. You're somebody else.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You can, uh... You can see me?
Tamlyn: Yes. And I've seen you in my dream.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Your dream?
Tamlyn: I'm floating on a lake, looking up at a full moon. And a whirlpool suddenly swirls around me. I try to swim. But then it pulls me down deeper, into eternal night. I see a man reach out for me; and he's come from a place... far away. It's you. Who are you?

Admiral: So, Lamar didn't do anything?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, yeah, yeah, he had the ring doctor check Ronny out.
Admiral: Oh, well, he must have, he must have picked up something.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh-huh, uh-huh, he did. He picked up his medical bag right after he pronounced Ronny fit as a fiddle.
Admiral: Fit? This doctor must walk like a duck.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?
Admiral: Well, because he's a quack.

Stevie: Hey, Uncle Eddie!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Hey.
Stevie: What you doin'?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Nuthin'. What're you doin'?
Stevie: Nuthin'. Wanna join me?

Al: [when seeing Tearsa for the first time] Oh! Look at this, Sam. If I had had an attorney like that when I was in court, I'd still be in court.

Diane: I know you haven't proven that Dr. Beckett has traveled back in time, or that if having done so he can make an impact of global importance. But it is the opinion of this committee that such heroic undertakings advance the human cause, and whether or not they succeed is not so important as the fact that we try. You have your funding for one more year, Admiral.

Al: [to Sam] Ziggy says you're here to help Doug and Debbie. Unless you do something about that, you're gonna stay stuck in 1985, wearing your silly high heels and your stupid dresses, and talking to strangers about G-spots.

[Sam - as Roberto - has been head-butted during one of his talk shows]
Earl: How's the bean? Still in one piece?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Okay. Yeah.
Earl: Good, huh? Hey... hey, maybe you could do it again tomorrow. That'd be killer.
Admiral: This is Earl Skipper. He's the station manager and the news director.
Earl: We should capitalize on this thing - you know, play it for all it's worth. Maybe we could even build a few shows around it, huh?
Jani: I'll tell you what. Why don't you lie down in the parking lot and I'll accidentally back over you with my car? Probably we can get a whole week out of that.

[Maggie Dawson half-listens to Col. Deke Grimwald's story as she snaps photos of his men]
Col. Deke Grimwald: So, there I was this Saturday on the reviewing stand with my dad. The base photographer snapped my picture. He caught me saluting the colors as they passed in review. It was so damn cute they put it in the base newspaper. That was 1938.
Maggie: [more about what she just saw through her camera] I'll be damned.
Col. Deke Grimwald: Yeah, I know. It just never seemed fair somehow. I mean, I did it first, all I got was the base newspaper. Hell, John-John's salute made the cover of LIFE.
[Maggie looks at the Colonel with shocked incredulity on her face over such a petty comment. It doesn't register with him]

[after learning that Hilla had had an intimate relationship with her friend, Stephanie]
Greg: Some of the things that Hillie tried to tell me make sense now. All that time she spent growing up in the displaced person camps after the war... she had to fight off men all the time, I even think she was raped. She said it was so bad that the only people she could let get close to her were women... and even *that* got confusing.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] In all my years of leaping, I can't remember feeling so unprepared for what was ahead of me. And yet seeing those two kids and finding their mother, I felt this rage inside me like someone or something else was making me go forward, and all I could hope for was that whatever was driving me would let me know what to do with a cold-blooded killer.

Sam: [referring to Collins] Why did you tell him I was a Safety Inspector?
Stawpah: Company men like Collins make me cripple, so I make them sweat.
Sam: Look, Stawpah. You've got a lot to be bitter about. But how is sweating Collins gonna help Tonchi and Pete down there?
Stawpah: You right. I need find way get them out this time. They cold, wet, scared. Pete real scared, 'cause he no can see his brother.
Sam: What about their lamps?
Stawpah: Carbide lamp burn air, so Tonchi put it out. It black like coal down there. But that not worst thing. Worst thing is water. Pump no work in bottom. Water already up to Tonchi belt. We no get them out soon, they no come out.
Sam: How do you know all this?
Stawpah: I been there. Too many time.
Sam: [v.o] I had thought Stawpah's pain had turned him bitter and blind to anyone's plight but his own. I was wrong. He needed to save Tonchi and Pete as much as I did. Maybe more.

[Sam has leaped into Jesus Ortega, who is sentenced to death by electrocution]
Al: Uh, according to Ziggy, you die on the 14th of May 1971. That's... oh, that's in two days.
Sam: I got that, Al! Why?
Al: Why?
Sam: Why?
Al: Well, probably because you can't live with two thousand volts of electricity running through your body.

Joe: You know what the three worst words in the English language are? "Let's be friends."

Admiral: Sam, you're not gonna believe this yo-yo in the waiting room.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Larry Stanton?
Admiral: Er, Lawrence Stanton III, actually. You have a lucrative law practice in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and your counterpart in the waiting room thinks he is dead.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?
Admiral: He thinks I'm St. Peter, and I'm gonna send him to hell for overcharging his hours. Reminds me of my last two divorce lawyers.

[in the Waiting Room, Liz is trying to comfort a nearly catatonic Angel]
Al: The more information you can give me, the... the sooner you'll get outta here.
Liz: I still don't know where 'here' is. And maybe, just maybe, being here is a hell of a lot better than being where I was.
Al: Uh, well, uh... like I said, we call this the Waiting Room.
Liz: 'The Waiting Room' doesn't tell me chip! Especially, when we've just come from being locked up in some black hole, and I don't remember why I was there.
Al: Well, try and remember and I can help you.
Liz: [re Angel] Tell me what's wrong with her. Why is she like that?
Al: Er, oh, that's- it's just a by-product of what brought you here. But as soon as she gets back to her own time, she'll be fine and so will you. But now, I need for you to tell me what happened to Carol Benning. You gotta remember.
Liz: Carol Benning? I can't even remember my own last name. How do you expect me to remember who killed Carol Benning?
Al: Well, see, you remember that she was killed.

Mr. Deever: Y-you know, er, if you could make the earth spin the other way, er, you could unwind hurricanes.

Dr. Hardy: [referring to Max] Frankly, I find his theory of return U.F.O. visitations in this area quite coherent.
Major: Yeah. Alice In Wonderland is coherent too. That doesn't mean I believe in grinning cats who disappear.

Otto: Hey, Mario. What's with the new broad? She's been ignoring me all night long.
Mario: Well, maybe she's got good taste.
Otto: [humorless] Ha-ha. Just don't schedule her any more on weekends, OK?
Mario: Don't worry, Otto, she'll be dancing bachelor parties for me after tonight.
Otto: She's a stripper, huh?
Mario: I prefer to call 'em exotic dancers. Right, Rod?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
Otto: I prefer to call my car a Rolls, but it ain't.

[Sam has just made the first Quantum Leap]
Sam: We did it!... Did what?

Lenny: Either I've had too much Chablis, or you're talking to thin air.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm talking to thin air.
Lenny: Good. I can have another drink.

Chloe: Frank!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Huh?
Chloe: [holding up several bottles] Which one of these did you mix in the stripping solution that you put on Charisse?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh...
Admiral: All of'em.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh, a-a-a-all of'em.
Chloe: Have you been breathing vapors?
Admiral: Ah, he's into punk.

Al: Well, we been having some difficulty. Ziggy, he's, uh, going through mood swings. I think we need get a girl computer put it right next to him, one with a nice set of *hard* disks.
Sam: You would.

Fred: I carry a fair amount of weight in this town.
Admiral: Yeah, and a lot of it's hangin' over your belt.

[last lines]
Admiral: Beth, I've missed you so much. It's been such a long time - 25 years. Of course you haven't changed, but I have. I'm an Admiral now - me, the ensign, that said that anyone with a rank above Lieutenant was a horse's ass.
[Beth laughs]
Admiral: Beth, you didn't hear me, did you? Oh, Beth, tell me you can hear me.
[Beth gets up and changes the record]
Admiral: Look at me, Beth. Oh, Sam, why did you make me do this?
[as Beth starts slowly moving to the music, Al joins and shadow-dances with her]
Admiral: I want you to wait for me, Beth. Don't give up, honey. 'cause I'm alive out there. And I'm only alive... because of our love. And someday... oh, Beth - someday, I'm gonna come back home to you.
[kisses her forehead and leaps]
Beth: Al.
[starts to cry]

[Sam's mind has been taken over by Oswald and he is about to murder Sgt. Lopez in cold blood]
Al: Gushie, I can't get through to him! Tell Ziggy I've got to have a way to get through to him!
[info comes over the handlink]
Al: You're kidding. Uh, Sam... Sam, what are the four fundamental forces of interactions in quantum physics? What are the four fundamental forces of interactions in quantum physics, Sam?
[Sam seems to hear Al]
Al: Yeah, yeah, Sam. The four fundamental forces of interactions in-in quantum physics.
Sam: Gravitation, electroma-magnetism, the strong and weak nuclear forces.
Al: What's the Pauli exclusion principle?
Sam: [starts to lower his gun] No two fermions can occupy a given quantum state at the same time?
Al: Neither can two human souls.
[Sam leaps]

[Sam has leaped into a shipwrecked Greek man - literally into the ocean]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] When you leap for a living, you expect to land in some stormy situations, but doing a half gainer into an unknown ocean? Somehow the words 'above and beyond' seemed inadequate.

Dr. Sam Beckett: And what earthshaking story are you working on?
Jani: Gas stations that promise full service but don't deliver.
Admiral: Now there's a national emergency.

Michael G. Blake: It's not my job to save the world.
Salvation: God forbid. That'd mean you cared about people!

[Sam is deftly questioning the strange, transvestite bartender, Joda]
Joda: You think poor Joda is a spy?
Sam: Are you?
Joda: Well - I do almost anything for money.
[kisses Sam]

Dr. Leslie Ashton: [talking about Dr. Winger's test methods] You're still killing chimps to save humans.
Dr. Frank Winger: Sometimes chimps die, yes.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: What gave you the right to sacrifice one species over another?
Dr. Frank Winger: I'm not setting a precedent, Doctor. Every child who isn't in an iron lung, every diabetic who doesn't die before his time owes it to primate research. I'm sorry that we have to use any of them. But the contribution far outweighs the sacrifice.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: Not to me!

[last lines]
Ben,: [after Sam has been freed from his kidnappers] I was just thinking. It might be interesting, not to mention a ratings bonanza, if we were to, say, incorporate a similar ordeal into the life of one Dr. Craig Connor. Hm? I'll call the studio. Welcome back.
[leaves]
Sam: Did you hear that? He wants to take what happened to me here and put it on the show.
Al: Yeah, yeah, I know. I heard, yeah.
Sam: Is that ethical? It can't be ethical.
Al: No, it's television.

[last lines]
Sam: Where's Alia?
Al: Uh... She's gone.
Sam: She's not gone, Al. Alia is not gone.

[Repeated line]
Sam: Oh, boy...

Dr. Sam Beckett: Wayne danced about as well as I did - with Miss Morgan at my kindergarten graduation. She married the principal that summer, and I didn't get over it until I met Miss Sedlack. She was my first-grade teacher.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Hey, uh, nice car you got.
Leon: It's the third fastest car in town.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Wanna sell it?
Leon: Nah. I'm sorry. It's pretty special.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'll, uh, give you $200 for it.
Leon: Nah. I can't sell it. My dad gave her to me for Christmas, and he's kind of sick right now.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Two ten?
Leon: Sold.

[last lines]
Navy Lt. Tom Beckett: Sam! Hoo-yah! All right, little brother!
Sam: [reaching for Tom] Toooo...
[Sam continues to yell while he leaps from the basketball court to a river in Vietnam, still reaching to Tom]
Sam: - oooom!
[startled, the Seals start firing in all directions; Sam submerges until they stop]
Sam: [surfacing] Tom?
Navy: [of body of an enemy Vietcong floating by] He's dead.
Sam: Damn, Magic!
Sam: Tom.
Navy Lt. Tom Beckett: How'd you know they were there?
Sam: Oh, boy.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [referring to Al's experiences as a baseball pitcher] Is there anything you haven't done?
Admiral: No. Oh, wait. There is these twins at the fitness center...
Dr. Sam Beckett: All right, I'm sorry I asked.

[Sam has encouraged Billy to take a plunge in the pool - successfully]
Al: Have you completely lost your mind? He's gonna drown!
Sam: If I had stopped him, who's to say he wouldn't've tried again tomorrow?
Al: Tomorrow? If you don't save him, there isn't gonna be any tomorrow for either one of you!
Sam: Al, don't you get it? The only person who can save Billy is Billy.
Al: Sam, what the hell are you talkin' about?
Sam: I'm talkin' about death. He's never gonna be able to face life until he faces death.

[Maggie has withdrawn her petition for child custody]
Jamie: [to Steve] Looks like you're out of a job, butt-head.
Admiral: My sentiments exactly, butt-head!

[Suzanne is in a passionate embrace with Al]
Clifford: Suzanne Elsinger! What are you doing?
Sam: Suckin' face, pal, with my buddy here. It's very big in the '60s, '70s and '80s.

Admiral: Yeah, there is something magical about a baseball diamond. Yeah - no matter how old you get, it still makes you feel like a kid.

[repeated line - seasons 3-5]
Narrator: Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so, Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.

Admiral: I had a thing for a deaf girl once. Boy, could she read lips.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, this is no time for one of your cheesy kiss-and-tell stories.
Admiral: She was my lab partner at MIT. She was one of the brightest women I've ever known.
Dr. Sam Beckett: And she wouldn't sleep with you.
Admiral: No.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Right?
Admiral: Why does your Swiss-cheese memory remember stuff that I want to forget?

the Devil (as Al): What gives you the right to leap about time, putting right what I made wrong.
Sam: I'm just trying to get home.
the Devil (as Al): Well, you're not going to make it!

Ronny: [to the audience after Sam won a wrestling match as one of the Battling Rooskies] Shut up, you capitalist pigs!

[Al is helping a stranded motorist]
Al: I would love to fix that flat for you. But I can't!
Woman: Let me guess: It's your only tux, and you're late for your wedding.
Al: How could I be late? We just met!

Dr. Sam Beckett: Each time Boone howled, my stomach sank a little lower. For him, the pit was truly hell. And his only hope for deliverance... was Al.

Admiral: At 22:15 Greenwich Mean Time, you must plug in a thousand-watt hairdryer in a house located at 111 Erie Drive, Buffalo, New York.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?

Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, I can't be a biker.
Admiral: Where is your sense of adventure? Don't you know what it feels like?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, like playing slip and slide on asphalt! I mean, look at my leg.
Admiral: Nah, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the way it feels when the, the sun blasts into your skin - if you've got sunscreen on - and the wind waves by your face and you sail off into the blue on your chrome-plated candy colored flaming red dream machine. You never know what's around the next corner.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Probably a head-on with a semi.

[Sam is increasingly frustrated with Vanessa]
Admiral: It just proves that you care for her a lot.
Dr. Sam Beckett: No way.
Admiral: Hey, listen, there's no way she would get this bad under your skin, unless you had feelings for her.
Dr. Sam Beckett: The only feelings I have for her are homicidal!

Sam: [trying to hypnotize Alia] You're standing on the top of a mountain, looking out. Can you see yourself there?
Alia: Mm-hmm.
Sam: All right. You're looking up, at a yellow sun, in the middle of a dark, dark blue sky. A warm summer breeze... blows across your face. White clouds streak across the dark blue sky. What do you see there?
Alia: Only clouds. White clouds.
Sam: Yes.
Alia: And miles and miles of sky.
Sam: That's good.
Alia: It's almost as if I'm...
Al: [in a trance] Dark blue sky. Clouds...
Sam: Al.
Al: Clouds...
Sam: Al, where are you?
Al: Vegas.
Sam: [subtly clapping his hands] Al!
Al: [wakes up] Oh, uh, Mallard Correctional Facility.

[his life in the 70's]
Sam: Great. I'm on the take, I wear polyester clothes and I live above a bar in an apartment decorated like a gym.

Susan: I love Ray, Mama Harper. And I don't wanna see him lose his chance to be someone great.
Mama: He can be great right here.
Susan: No, he can't. He can do good here, but he can't be great.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You know, um... sometimes... sometimes doing good is more important.

Gushie: [Al and a stranded motorist are in Al's car, driving towards the Project; Al sees the Accelerator lights glowing in the sky, and calls the Project] Control!
Al: What's happening, Gushie?
Gushie: He's Leaping! Ziggy said no, but Sam's Leaping!
Al: He can't Leap, we're not ready!
Gushie: Tell Sam that!
Al: Put him on!
Gushie: I can't! He's in the Accelerator! Al, Al, what do I do?
Al: Nothing! Any interference could kill him! I'll be there in two minutes!
[to woman]
Al: Hang on, beautiful!
[Hits the gas]

Sam: Why am I here?
Al: Er, well, we're not sure.
Sam: You're not...
Al: No, Ziggy, uh, had a new data search component installed, and we had to have it shipped in from Hong Kong, and I think that gave a little jet lag to the modem of the floppy disc.
Sam: Why do you make this stuff up all the time? Why don't you just say to me, 'Sam, we don't know.' Why don't you just do that for once, instead of makin' it up all the time?
Al: Well - that wouldn't be any fun.

Al: Gushie, I could kiss you, if you didn't have bad breath.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Kenu, I'll take you to the reservation. But when we get there, you've got to see a doctor.
Joseph: Okay. But I don't know if I can help him.

Admiral: The cutting edge of meteorology work is done at Defense and Agri-Tech...
Dr. Sam Beckett: So?
Admiral: And those morons, they guard their computer secrets like a little virgin guards her, her... stamp collection.

[Alia's hologram, Zoey, comes through an imaging chamber door and sees Sam]
Zoey: Well, well, well, well, well... So, where did this studly morsel come from?
Alia: Not n... not now.
Sam: Not now? I just want to know where you're from.
Zoey: She's talking to me, sweet cheeks.
Zoey: [to Alia] Well, I don't mind a little afternoon's delight, as long as you don't, uh, forget your assignment. Where's Jimmy?
Alia: He's Jimmy. He used to be.
Sam: Excuse me. Excuse me for a second. A-are y- are you talking to a hologram? You're talking to a hologram, aren't you? You are a... time-traveler too!
Zoey: "Too"? What does he mean, "too"?

Daniel: My mom may probably be mad at me now.
Admiral: [to Roy] Why don't you tell him to go home?
Roy: Sometimes a boy gotta break away from his mama.
Admiral: On second thought, don't say anything!

Al: Oh, well, almost all animals can see me. But you know, there must be something weird lookin' about me, because I seem to intimidate them.
Sam: Maybe it's your clothes.

[Sam has just had a fight with Frank]
Gladys: You stay away from that man, y' hear? You always gettin' into scrapes these days. I don't know what to do with ya.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Elvis] Look, I didn't start the fight.
Gladys: It don't matter who started. It takes two to finish it. What's so special about this girl anyhow?
Dr. Sam Beckett: How'd you know it was about a girl?
Gladys: 'cause I'm your mama.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I never like it when a leap starts out at the bottom and goes downhill from there.

Al: Well, we been having some difficulty. Ziggy, he's, uh, going through mood swings. I think we need get a girl computer put it right next to him, one with a nice set of *hard* disks.
Sam: You would.

[to prove that he is really a doctor, Sam has asked Carol to ask him a medical question]
Carol: The lungs consist of five lobes. Name them.
Sam: Right upper, right middle, right lower, left upper, left lower.
Carol: That's right.
Sam: Yeah. Go-go ahead, a-ask me somethin' else. Somethin' harder.
Carol: [flipping through the medical book] Okay, here's one. Name the bones of the foot.
Sam: Phalanges, metatarsals, cuneiforms, navicular, cuboid, talus and calcaneus. I could spell them for you if you'd like.
Carol: You memorized it.
Sam: Just had the book for a couple of minutes.
Carol: It's possible.
Sam: When was the last time you met an illiterate speed-reader?

Sam: Look, I know this place bothers you, but if you would just help me find the real burial chamber, you could leave.
Al: I'm a hologram, I'm not a vampire bat! I can't see in the dark. If I walk through a wall or I walk into a dark room, all I see is black. That's it! And I'm sure as hell not gonna bump into anything.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] It had been eleven years, and Abagail had grown from a frightened child into a glorious young woman. Al's request to stay away from her was as absurd as asking the sun not to rise on their wedding day.

[Sam has leapt into the middle of a Jewish ceremony]
Sam: Oy vey, I'm the rabbi!

Al: [singing, trying to remember the lyrics] All around the something... the monkey chased the weasel... the monkey did something... and something happened to the weasel.

[Sam and Miz Melny are discussing civil rights issues]
Miz: Nobody's gonna change the way things are.
Sam: But they will. Blacks are gonna unite...
Miz: "Blacks"?
Sam: Blacks. That's what they'll- That's what we'll be called instead of Negroes.
Miz: What's in God's name's wrong with being called a Negro?
Sam: Maybe it's just a little too close to nigger.
Miz: [sternly] I've *never* used that word, Jesse. Not to your face or behind your back.

Admiral: If wishes were broken hearts, everybody would have 'em.

[Sam embodies Billy Beaumont, a self-professed maker of rain]
Admiral: Sam, we can, we can change history, we can change people, but the weather, that's the leap of another color. I mean, that's... No, that's a horse of another kettle.

Carol: What's it like?
Sam: "It"?
Carol: The future.
Sam: You believe what I said?
Carol: I don't know what I believe. It's like everything's backwards. I mean, you break into my house and you terrorize us. I see the television, the things they say about you, then you turn around and you let Becky go. You're supposed to be illiterate, but you know more than most of my professors. It's like nothing makes any sense anymore.
Sam: Welcome to my world.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Do you have to sneak up on me?
Admiral: Well, I'm sorry. You expect a hologram to knock?

Dr. Sam Beckett: This custody battle. It's crazy. You know... I mean...
Maggie: I know.
Dr. Sam Beckett: We can work these things out by ourselves, right? I mean... as soon as I get the magic shop, everything...
Maggie: Oh, the magic shop? Then you're gonna' settle down and you're gonna' buy a real home? Right Harry? I heard that before. I heard it for eight years and I'm not gonna hear it again.
Dr. Sam Beckett: So, you walked away?
Maggie: Do you think that I wanted to leave my baby? God, I didn't have a choice, Harry. I couldn't sit around waiting for all your fantasies to come true. So, I left her. And I went out there and I made it happen, Harry. And now I can give her all the things that we always wanted to give her. Nice clothes. Good schools.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Why don't we give her these things together?
Steve: [to Maggie] You let him inside the house?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [surprised at Steve's sudden appearance] Well, not that it's any of your business but I was talking to Maggie who is still my wife about Jamie who will always be my daughter.
Maggie: He was just leaving, Steve.
Steve: Good, because talking to you without your lawyer present could jeopardise his case. Just a little free legal advice.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't want your advice. I want my family.
Steve: Well, frankly Mr Spontini, other than a few signatures your family doesn't exist.
Maggie: Harry, just leave.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Why don't you ask him to leave?
Steve: Keep it up. I can pretty much guarantee you no visitation rights.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You can't keep me from my daughter.
Steve: Don't count on it. I always win.
Dr. Sam Beckett: That's what this is about for you, isn't it? Winning? You don't care about Maggie. I know you don't care about Jamie...
[Steve looks like he's about to take Sam's head off]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [Steve moves to take Sam on] What?
Maggie: [Sam easily throws Steve to the floor] Stop!
Jamie: [to Steve] Smooth move, ex-Lax.
Maggie: Look, maybe you should both leave.
Steve: Come on, Maggie.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I think that's probably a good idea.
[to Jamie]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Come here. I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart. OK.
[kisses Maggie and then shoots Steve a dirty look who shoots Sam an equally dirty one]

Sam: Al, if I leaped into Oswald to uncover a conspiracy, why didn't I stay in '63?
Al: Maybe because it started here in Atsugi.
Sam: Atsugi?
Al: Japan.
Sam: [looks around the rifle range] This doesn't look like Japan.
Al: Sam, military bases look the same the world over. But you go out that gate and you'll see it's, it's Japan, there's no doubt about it. It's very beautiful, it's serene... and there's a lot of... beautiful geishas.

Sam: You know what I have to do today? I have to go and have lunch with some woman, who won this... soap detergent contest!
Al: Oh. Well, look at it this way. At least you know she'll be clean!

Al: You leaped into the space program, Sam.
Sam: I've leaped into a diaper!

Sam: Oh, my God! I've changed history. I've killed Al.

[Diana is angry with Sam - as Rod - and rants at him in sign language]
Dr. Sam Beckett: What are you saying? I... I... I don't understand you.
Diana: Good. Now you know what the world feels like to me!

Dr. Sam Beckett: Al? You think I was crazy if I told you that...
Admiral: If you told me what?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Never mind.
Admiral: I'd say welcome to the human race, Sam. Every man that ever met her fell in love with her. Just... take good care of her and don't let her die. Nobody that beautiful should ever die.

Tamlyn: [to Sam] Haven't you ever known when something was going to happen in the future, and then it did?
Admiral: [enters] Of course he has. Happens all the time.

[Sam has gently averted Marilyn's advances]
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's not that I don't want to. I mean, every man on the planet wants you.
Marilyn: They don't want me. They want Marilyn. But I'm not her. She's somebody that I put on, like a cashmere sweater or a mink coat. Somehow, I think you're the first man I've ever met that really understands that.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm sure there were others too. I just... Maybe you weren't listening.
Marilyn: I listened. Men didn't.

[repeated line]
Hilla: [v.o] That's what's missing from my life: someone to love.

[Sam is blocking Connie, who is undressing, from Al's view]
Admiral: You know, you're really a prude.

Gushie: [voice] Admiral.
Al: [looking around] Who said that?
Gushie: [voice] It's me. Gushie.
Al: Gushie? Where are you?
Gushie: [voice] I'm right in front of you. Can't you see me?
Al: If I could see you, would I be talking to the sidewalk?
Gushie: [voice] I guess Ziggy didn't do a very good job of syncing our brain waves.
Al: I take that as a compliment.

Admiral: Uh-oh.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh-oh? Is this your "Uh-oh, things are getting worse", or is this your "Uh-oh", that now I've changed history, and things are really gonna get horrible?

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as George Washakie] But there's so much I don't know, that I can learn from you, that, that others can learn too!
Joseph: There's only one thing you have to learn: that freedom is the greatest gift we're born with, and the hardest thing to hold on to.

Ben: Has the whole world gone crazy? Just because the Russians put a satellite in space doesn't mean you two get to go into orbit too!
Moe: I just don't want these kids growing up thinking that the future holds nothing but violence.
Ben: Don't be ridiculous. Kids love violence!
Moe: Because we tell them to love it. We should be teaching them to dream. To see the future for its possibilities, not its limitations. And you write me a script like that, and I will shout it from the rooftops!

[Sam is reluctant to sleep with Diane]
Al: Oh, Sam. You're going to have to bite the bullet. While I go back to put Research online, you're going to have to face a beautiful woman who wants to spend the entire night making mad, passionate love to you. It's a dirty job. But somebody's got to do it.

Al: We got problems, Sam. Get this: Ziggy says there's another leaper.
Sam: Well, she's just picking up Alia.
Al: No, she already counted her.
Sam: You don't think they sent another leaper, do you?
Al: I don't know. Ziggy says that you gotta make sure you discover them before they discover you and certainly before they discover her.

Dawn: I never met a real superhero before. Hi, I'm Dawn Taylor.
Sam: Hi, I'm... Arnold Watkins.
[they shake hands]
Dawn: Just how fast was that speeding car going?
Sam: Oh, it wasn't really going fast. I mean, when I got on it, it was standing.
[Dawn leaps out and Alia leaps in]
Sam: You okay?
Mike: She's fine, she's fine. Her only problem is she's smelling your dirty socks, Arnold.

Roget: I had a dream about you last night, Diane. -... - In the dream, you were running in the Argonne in the snow. I know it was the Argonne because the flakes were big and wet, the way I remember them as a boy. You went to an old mill, just like the one where the Gestapo caught Moulin. There was a German officer there, tall and arrogant. And you started to make love to him.
Diane: Roget, please, don't do this.
Roget: Before it was over, I bled him till the snow turned red.
Sam: That's enough.
Roget: [to Sam] He looked like you. Except for the eyes. He had the eyes of a man who could kill.

[Sam - as Eddie - describes to Mac the effects of a nuclear winter]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Everything would die.
Mac: No. Not everything. We'd survive, Eddie. Just like we survived Cimarron County in '35.
Dr. Sam Beckett: The dust bowl?
Mac: You see, you don't, you weren't even born yet. You don't, you don't remember what it was like. I'll never forget. That afternoon, there was no wind. It was sunny, and still. Er... Me and Pa were walking a team of horses home, when thousands of these birds came flying by from the north. We looked back, and we seein' it comin' - this huge, rollin' tidal wave of earth spread across the sky. It drifted in like, like, like dark snow, blacking out the sun, making day darker than night. It was like the end of the Earth. Pa grabbed me. We held on to his horse's bit. We weren't more than a hundred yards off, we still could not find our way home. It covered the farm in dust. Everything we worked for died. And, I remember seeing the look in Pa's face. Somethin' in him died that day too. You never knew what he was really like. God.
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, I, I didn't, Mac.
Mac: Well... we survived that. And we're gonna survive this.

Admiral: Of all the partners in the whole wide world that I should have to pick, and what do I end up with? The prudent prince.

Al: Tina's crazy about me.
Dr. Ruth: And you are crazy about her, aren't you?
Al: Well, no, I... I wouldn't say that. I'd say I, I like her.
Dr. Ruth: You just *like* her?
Al: I like her a lot. A lot.
Dr. Ruth: Does that mean, you love her?
Al: Uh...
Dr. Ruth: It may have four letters, but 'love' is not a dirty word.

[Sam is playing on Tim's guitar Jimi Hendrix-style]
John: What the hell is this?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh... Uh, just a little, uh, dem-demonstration.
John: Of what? A cat in a garbage disposal?

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Max] You know, uh... I really would like to talk to you, but I've... I've-I've had a very busy day.
Dr. Hardy: I'm surprised. Our sources told us you'd be... more than willing to cooperate.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sources, what... what sources? You've been checking up on me?
Major: We just want your cooperation.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You do?
Major: Yes, sir.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, that's what I want, your cooperation. I'd like to know a little something about Project Blue Book.
Dr. Hardy: That's classified information, Mr. Stoddard. But if your testimony turns out the way we expect it will, we might be able to influence our superiors to share a summary with you.

Al: There are five stages of love. The first is denial, then the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce... and then there's more sex, if you're lucky.
Sam: Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa?

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Billy Jean] Al. Read my lips. Now, I'm pregnant.

Admiral: You lay one hand on this kid, you slime bag, and I'll kill ya. I don't know how, but I'll kill ya.

Al,: Sam, if you became a priest...
Sam: I've been a priest.
Al,: So you have. If the priesthood had been your chosen life, even though the Church might move you from parish to parish, don't you have to accept responsibility for the life you lead?
Sam: Even priests can quit.
Al,: That's true. Hmm... But they can also take sabbaticals, especially before embarking on a difficult new assignment.
Sam: Are you telling me that the leaps are gonna get tougher?
Al,: Where would you like to go, Sam?
[a tear rolls down Sam's cheek]
Sam: Home. - I'd like to go home. But I can't. Can I? I've got a wrong to put right for Al. You knew that, didn't you?
Al,: [puts his arm around Sam's shoulder] God bless, Sam.
[Sam leaps]

Mrs. Sherilyn Stanton: Hello, sweet cheeks. Come on over here, you hot-blooded, Southern rebel, and melt me down. Tonight, Lawrence Stanton III, I am Jane Fonda in 'BUtterfield 8'.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, boy.

Al: If the chief finds the gun in the lake...
Sam: He won't. And even if he does, it just means that the killer threw the gun in the water.
Al: Boy, you won't give up, will you?
Sam: Not when I feel I'm right.
Al: All right, say you're right. We find the gun, even find someone to trace it to. What does that prove? You have no bullet to match it to.

[Sam has leapt into Captain John Beckett, a soldier during the American Civil War]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, there was a John Beckett in my family. And he fought in the Civil War. He... he was my great-grandfather. I'm my great-grandfather? My great-grandfather fought with the Union forces in the Civil War. His name was John Beckett. My dad was named after him.
[he shows Al his written orders]
Admiral: Yeah, Captain John Beckett.
Dr. Sam Beckett: That'd explain this. It's the only reason I can figure out why I could leap outside my own lifetime.
Admiral: Must've been some kind of genetic transfer or something.

Vanessa: When we get back, I'm reporting you to Daddy.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Is that a threat?
Vanessa: My father owns the largest shipping company in the United States. He's been on the cover of Look magazine. He's frequently quoted in the Journal.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You sound like his press agent, not his daughter.

Petra: [to Sam, after he has performed as Hamlet] It's really intense watching you.
Jane: I know just what you mean.
Petra: I didn't know your mother was coming.
Jane: "Mother"?
Admiral: Mother? Every guy should have a mother like that. That is if she's your mother...
[Jane kisses Sam passionately]
Admiral: I hope she's not your mother!

Dorothy: That was a hell of a kick!
Dr. Sam Beckett: I... I felt that!
Dorothy: Well, of course you did. That little baby o' yours has a kick like a mule in heat.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, boy!
Dorothy: You know what? I think so, too.

Sam: So Al comes up with al the nick names around here?
Stawpah: Why you need to know about our nicknames?
Sam: I need it for my BVD report.

Admiral: [reminiscing about musicals] Oh, Oklahoma! That's how come he was hummin'...
Admiral: [sings] "Chicks and dogs and pigs better scurry..."
Dr. Sam Beckett: Ducks.
Admiral: "When I..." Ducks?
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's ducks and geese, not... pigs and dogs.
Admiral: Ducks?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah.
Admiral: Are you sure it's... it's not pigs and dogs? They scurry too.

[Al enters through the imaging chamber door with Katie McBain]
Al: We did it, Sam. We did it. Of course, it took enough power to light up St. Louis for a month, but we did it.

Dr. Sam Beckett: *You* were an actor?
Admiral: Don't say it like it was a disease. Acting is the world's second-oldest profession. Maybe the first. Yeah, prostitution could be considered kind of a performance.

Admiral: Sam, I think...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Don't say it, Al.
Admiral: ...this is the start of a wonderful friendship.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You couldn't resist, could you?

[after Sam has dived into the water and pulled Dr. Winger to safety]
Dr. Frank Winger: I thought you said, they can't swim.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: They- they can't. I don't know how he did it.

[last lines]
Alexandra: You know, Butchie...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Huh?
Alexandra: You're all right, for a twerp.

Al: [after taking a closer look at the vet Dr. Ashton] Boy, makes me wish I was an ape.
Sam: Well, you're acting like one.

Marie: I said, out! Just take your skinny pale behind outta here, 'fore I call your momma and tell her what you've been up to! Come on, just get out! Get out! Get-get-get outta here!

Bunny: Are you sure the doctor said to give the baby coffee?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Buster] Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
Bunny: Well, hell, why don't we just give her a cigarette and a shot of whiskey while we're at it!

[Sam has told Tim about the future drug-related demise of musicians like Hendrix, Joplin etc]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I know this doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But... if you run off to New York City, whatever you're gonna do, a-and I'm not around to help you, I want you to remember this conversation. Okay? And remember those people's names. And if you start gettin' into drugs, okay, not just grass, but into heavy drugs and stuff like that, you look at those people, you look what happened in their lives; and you remember that we had this talk.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [referring to Mack] Look, you said you were crazy about him. You may have to teach him how to love.
Frankie: But he's so angry.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, well...
Admiral: Well, after six years of therapy, he'll be fine.

[Carl Shilo has caught his wife Sherry with Sam in a compromising situation]
Admiral: I've been doing some checking, and it turns out Mrs. Sasquatch here gets her jollies from watching her hubby dismember other men on her behalf.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?
Admiral: Yeah, she's left a trail of broken necks from coast to coast.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [to Sherry] You set me up!
Sherry: Well, a girl's got to have a hobby.

[Sam is watching Hilla's home movies]
Al: I've had a lot of fixations on women, but this...
Sam: It's not one of your cheap flings.
Al: Whatever. This is an obsession.
Sam: Look at her, Al. She's so young and beautiful and full of life. Is that a girl who could kill herself?
Al: This is 1957, Sam. An unmarried girl that got pregnant was an outcast. Sometimes, they'd end the pregnancy; sometimes, they'd even end their own lives.
Sam: Maybe Greg helped her do both.
Al: You really think he killed her?
Sam: Hilla tried to break up with Greg on the fourth. She said they fought all night. She broke with him, Al, but it was too late, she was pregnant. He's got to be the killer.
Al: But you've got no proof.
Sam: I've got feelings.
Al: Feelings? That's a song. You got no evidence. You got no gun, you got no bullet, you got nothin'.
Sam: I got her.
Al: You got shadow and light flickering on the wall, that's not Hilla. What you're seeing is in your imagination.
Sam: She's trying to tell me something, Al. I don't know that it is, but she's trying to tell me something.

Sam: How does Hank feel about all this?
Norma: Feel? What...?
Sam: Come on, it's gotta bother him a little bit to know that his wife wants to... be with another man.
Norma: [snorts] I do not want to marry you. I just want to have a baby with you.
Sam: That doesn't strike you as the least bit unusual?
Norma: I like unusual.

Dr. Rogers: You know, little lady... having a baby is about as simple as it gets. Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time. And even if you may not know what to do about it, your body does.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't think so.
Dr. Rogers: You'd be surprised.
Dr. Sam Beckett: So would you.

Al,: You're not here to save them.
Sam: How'd you know what I was thinking?
Al,: A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psychic.
Sam: Al. I'd like to talk to the philosopher part.
Al,: I just stick to the basics.
Sam: Okay, okay, uh... "To be or not to be," er, "I think therefore I am," that kind of stuff?
Al,: Uh-huh.
Sam: Uh-huh. Why am I here?
Al,: Why do you think you're here, Sam?
Sam: No, no, no, no, that's answering a question with a question. That's, that's psychiatrist stuff. All right? We're talking philosophy.
Al,: That's good, Sam.
Sam: Thank you. Now, why am I here?
Al,: You're beginning to think you're here to save Pete and Tonchi.
Sam: But I'm not.
Al,: Not directly.
Sam: What about indirectly?
Al,: Who knows what Don Quixote can accomplish?
[Sam looks at him in amazement]
Sam: Who are you?
Al,: [shrugs] Bartender.
Sam: Who knows everything?
Al,: Only God knows everything.
[he laughs at Sam's suspicious face]
Al,: You don't really think I'm God, do you?
Sam: You're not just a bartender.
Al,: No, that's true. I own the place, too.

[last lines]
Jennifer: Don't you just love happy endings?

Al: [about Jesus Ortega] Well, he's, he's out cold in the Waiting Room. We can't revive him. Dr. Beeks thinks that Jesus thinks that he's already dead. So he's slipped into kind of a comatose coma or whatever.
Sam: Well, tell Beeks to bring him around!
Al: Well, you can't just dump a bucket of water on his head and say, "Hey, hey get up. You're not dead. You're just 25 years in the future." These things take time, Sam.

Al: You know, Sam, did I ever tell you that one time I dated an Egyptian girl?
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Al: She thought she was the reincarnation of... of Cleopatra.
Sam: Uh-huh.
Al: But, boy, she had a nice asp.

Joseph: Death is a doorway, and we are like the grasshopper. When we die, we shed one skin, and put on another, and leap to a new life on the other side of the door.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What if there's nothing beyond the door?
Joseph: Then I would fight to hang on to this skin as hard as I could, because it would be all I had. But it's not. All of life is a series of leaps, for us grasshoppers, eh?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I guess you could say so...
Joseph: Sometimes we see where we are going, sometimes we don't. Have you ever leaped, and not at least survived?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No.
Joseph: The next time you leap, remember that.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I was trying to save your l... life.
Angelita: By running me down and beating me up?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, no. I thought... I thought that your heart had stopped. I was just trying to get it started again, that's all.
Angelita: Oh, why don't you back over me a couple more times?
[...]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I feel terrible.
Angelita: You feel terrible? I'm the one that's lying here in the middle of the street like a dead dog. Come on. Help me up.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You shouldn't move.
Angelita: You shouldn't drive.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Susan. You helped a lot of people today who appreciated it.
Susan: Did they, Ray? That's not what I saw in their eyes. I saw anger, and hatred. They tolerated me only because they were hurting and needed help.
Dr. Sam Beckett: That's not true.
Susan: How would you know? You're one of them!
Dr. Sam Beckett: You're tired, or you wouldn't be talking like this.
Susan: Maybe that's when the truth comes out. I can't go through life fighting people who hate me for the color of my skin.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I think that's how everybody in Watts must feel tonight.

Victor: It's just as it was in the beginning, when Bathory ruled the night. I've awaited this moment my entire life, to bridge the gap between the living and the dead, to fly with fallen angels and to soar into the night. And you - oh, you shall be my wings.

[Sam has made a tent out of paddles, sticks and wedding dress]
Vanessa: 10,000 silkworms gave up their lives to make the silk for my dress. It took 200 oysters to find 32 matching buttons. Nine French seamstresses went blind sewing it together. And now, instead of a wedding gown, what is it? Camping gear by Chanel.

Cissy: Ever since I was a little kid, I, I always felt so charged up whenever there was a-a thunderstorm or somethin'. I just feel... more alive!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...
Cissy: Yeah.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Move mountains; right wrongs; travel through time; grow ten feet tall and run forever.
Cissy: Yes!

Dr. Sam Beckett: I thought the only way to make a good impression was to show them that I was a good actor. However, no matter how hard I tried, only one thought kept running through my mind: did people throw rotten vegetables at bad actors in the sixties?

Angelita: You're gonna forget about me; but I will always remember you, Sam.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [bewildered] Sam?
Angelita: Who do you think I was sent here to really look after?

[last lines]
Isaac: I've been thinking. Once I'm a free man, I'm gonna need a last name like everybody else.
Olivia: Got any ideas?
Isaac: Well, I considered Lincoln. Considered Covington, since I've been with y'all since I was a boy. I considered Beckett, to thank you for takin' me with you, sir.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, you don't have to thank me, Isaac, but I'm flattered.
Isaac: Most of all, I like the way I feels about bein' a free man. Makes a man feel like a king. So, if it ain't too uppity, I'd like to be called Isaac King.
Admiral: Sam, you're not gonna believe this. Isaac here goes on to have a son named Emmanuel, and Emmanuel goes on to have a son...
Dr. Sam Beckett: King?
Isaac: Something wrong with it?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, no, no, i-it's fine.
Admiral: And that son has a son - a very famous son: Martin Luther King.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I think that's a fine name, Isaac.

Zoey: Where the hell is he?
Alia: He'll be here.
Zoey: Nerds are nothing if not punctual.
Alia: Would you relax? I guarantee within five minutes, I'll have Arnold's slide rule fully extended.
Zoey: That's my girl.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Henry, of Daniel] You know, he scared the heck out of me last night. Didn't you?
Daniel: I thought you were Bigfoot.
Roy: Bigfoot? Well, come to think of it, you do kinda look like him, Henry. Except you're a couple feet shorter and you smell worse.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Thanks a lot.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Marilyn, look, I know that for every good thing that this life has given you, it's also given you...
Marilyn: A punch in the nose? A thorn for every rose?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Something like that, yeah.
Marilyn: Those are clichés, Dennis. They don't play.

[the veteran prostitute is threatening a trouble-making sailor with a shotgun]
Sailor: Now, lady, you'd better be careful with that thing, 'cause you know it might accidentally go off.
Prostitute: Well, if it goes off, it won't be no accident. Now then, if I was you, I'd sail that battleship of yours outta here, before I turn it into a dinghy!

Sam: John is going to write my favorite song.
Katie: [skeptical] You favorite song?
Sam: Um-hmm.
Katie: In the future?
Sam: Yeah.
Katie: Well, sing it to me. Or are you gonna use that swiss-cheese-brain excuse you gave me when I asked you who'd be my first boyfriend?
Sam: [playing guitar and singing] Imagine there's no heaven / It's easy if you try / No Hell below us / Above us only sky / Imagine all the people living for today / Imagine there's no countries / It isn't hard to do / Nothing to kill or die for.
[Katie's expression changes]
Sam: And no religion, too / Imagine all the people living life in peace / You-hoo, you might say I'm a dreamer.
Sam: But I'm not the only one / I hope someday you'll join us / And the world will live as one.
Sam: Imagine no posses...
[Sam notices Katie has started crying and stops]
Sam: Katey, what is it?
Katie: I've never heard that before.
Sam: Of course not. Lennon's not gonna write it for another couple of years.
Katie: Noo!
Admiral: Sam...
Sam: Katey, what is it?
Katie: I don't want to believe you!
Sam: Why?
Katie: I don't want to believe you know the future... because if you do, Tommy's gonna die.

Jack: Man. I can't lie. I speak for it. I speak out for freedom. I speak out for experience. I speak out for life. I speak out for all the roads criss-crossing America in one immense, infinite dream that glides in one infinitesimal holy honey of creation. That vast sea of the brotherhood that underlies the essence, the unborn essence of everything. I speak out for the road. Zen, apple pie, hustlers, pimps, crazy jazz, truck stops, cops, criminals, and all the things that blast past you while you're beed-boppin' down that ol' highway to heaven and hell.

[Sam is Kyle Hart, an actor playing a doctor in...]
Sam: I'm in a soap opera!
Al: We prefer 'daytime drama'.
Sam: We...? You mean... you mean, you watch this stuff?
Al: Oh, uh, Tina had me watching some of it while I was down with the flu. And, Sam, you wouldn't believe the things that go on on these shows.
Sam: Okay. All right, I know.
Al: I mean, everybody...
Sam: I know.
Al: ...is sleeping...
Sam: I know.
Al: ...with *everybody*.
Sam: I know! Just spare me the details, all right?

[after an argument with his comedy partners, Mack has decided not to perform in their show]
Mack: Why don't you and Davey just go out there and make it work, okay? I'm goin' on my own. I don't need him and I definitely don't need you, all right?
Frankie: Yes, you do.
Mack: I can make it on my own.
Frankie: Okay. Okay, you have the talent; and God knows you have the guts. But... who you gonna come home to, Mack?

Cissy: [to Sam] Next to Boface, you're the male I love most.
Admiral: How do you feel about holograms?

Admiral: I hate towels.
[after Marilyn has got out of the pool, covered only by her towel]

[Dana blames herself for testifying against Nick, who then got acquitted nevertheless]
Dr. Sam Beckett: What you did was very courageous.
Dana: No, what I did was stupid, and I'm probably gonna get killed because of it. And even if I don't, I'm gonna spend the rest of my life pretending to be somebody else.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I know that feeling.

Sam: What am I doing here Al? I mean... how did I get here like this?
Al: Well, uh, we know that, uh, chimps are our closest relatives, that, uh, genetically, they're 99% identical to us. As a matter of fact, they're so close that your could even share your blood with a chimp.
Sam: I'm in the body of a chimp. That's too close!

Sam: Gushie, why are you fading in and out like that?
Gushie: [distorted] I must not be tuned into your exact brain wave.
Sam: And your voice is...
Gushie: [distorted] Ziggy did kind of a rush job.
Sam: What are you doing here?
Gushie: [distorted] Admiral Calavicci told me to let you know if Ziggy came up with any new information.
Sam: Did she?
Gushie: [distorted] Well, she says by not surrendering, you've changed history.
Sam: For the better, I hope.
Gushie: [distorted] In-in a way.
Sam: [sternly] Gushie.
Gushie: [distorted] Now, instead of getting shot outside the house, y-you get shot inside. Exactly 91 minutes from now, Sheriff Hoyt is gonna storm this house, and kill you. I'm afraid there's more. During the shooting, the little girl gets caught in the crossfire.
Sam: Becky?
Carol: Becky? What about her?
Gushie: Dr. Beckett - she's gonna be killed.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know why; but... you've gotta make this picture.
Marilyn: There'll be other pictures.
[Sam looks at Al who shakes his head]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know about the other pictures; but this one will never come again. And this one needs you. It needs a brash, beautiful, glorious, untamable misfit.
Marilyn: "Misfit"...

[the morning after "Arnold" enraged the Chi Kappas and Alia has discovered who he really is]
Mike: What's wrong with you?
Alia: Nothing.
Mike: Where'd you disappear to last night? I tried to call you.
Alia: I had a study date, or did you forget?
Mike: No, I didn't forget. But that was before your date tried to break up our initiation.
Alia: I know. I was there. It was hilarious watching you all plowing through the bushes looking for him, with Arnold safely curled up in my backseat.
[Mike grabs Alia]
Alia: Get your hands off me.
Mike: This is me, baby. Mike. Your guy.
Alia: My ex-guy.
Mike: Don't tell me you're hot for that wimp.
Alia: Oh, you'd be amazed, Mike. A man's performance on the basketball court has nothing to do with his performance in bed.

Marilyn: [rehearsing a scene for her current film] When you really love someone, you both should be willing to teach each other everything. We're all dying. Aren't we? All of us. Old folks, and kids, husbands and wives. And we're not learning a damn thing.

Nurse: What's he looking at?
Tibby: The guy. The, the guy in the red jacket.
Admiral: You can see me?
Tibby: Sure. Nice jacket.
Admiral: Oh, great. I'm tuned into little kids. I'm tuned into dogs. And now I'm tuned into the mentally absent. Why not blondes?

[Sam is revealing his true self to his sexist boss]
Buddy: [shocked] You did a Christine Jorgensen?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No! I didn't say I *used* to be a man, I said I *am* a man!

[Sam is expecting to leap, but nothing happens]
Sam: I'm not going anywhere.
Admiral: Try clicking your heels together three times and saying, "There's no place like home".

Dr. Sam Beckett: [talking to the sky] Al. I don't know where the hell you are, but you better get your butt down here, and fast!
Vernon: [turning round a corner] I'm glad you haven't lost your religion, boy. But you gonna have to brush up on your prayers some.

Neil: [as he barges in on a hanky-panky between his mother and Sam] My God, Mom! What would Dad say?
["Oh, boy" pause]
Neil: I mean... what would he say?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Joe] I can well imagine that this might look a little, you know...
Jane: Neil, your father has been dead for three years, and not once during that time has he said a word. I don't think he's gonna start now.

[Sam is being held at gunpoint by Mrs. Reynolds, his kidnapper's dotty, elderly "mother"]
Sam: You don't have to keep that thing pointed at me, you know.
Millie: How can I shoot if it ain't pointed at you?
Sam: That's a good question, M-Mrs...
Millie: [sweetly] Reynolds. Mildred Reynolds. You can call me Millie. Everybody does.
Sam: Well, Millie, I'm not sure you understand what's happening here. Your daughter has put herself in a very dangerous situation.
Millie: Hm. Looks to me like you're the one in a very dangerous situation.

Sam: Who created this Ziggy?
Al: You. Quantum Leap is your baby. You're the genius behind it. At least you were before your brain got magnafoogled.
Sam: No, no, see, I'm a medical doctor. I found that much out.
Al: You hold six doctorates, Sam. Medicine is just one. Your special gift was quantum physics. Time magazine even called you the next Einstein. The truth is, if there's one guy who could figure how to bring you back... its you.
Sam: And I can't even remember my name!
Al: [Pausing, and deciding to break Sam's own rule, even though Al knows Sam will use the information to contact his father] Beckett. Sam Beckett

[last lines]
Dr. Sam Beckett,62740: [when realizing that they have switched roles] Oh, boy!

Mike: Congratulations, stud.
Sam: What did I do now?
Mike: I don't know. I don't know, Arnold. Just what did you do?
Sam: Nothing.
Mike: Right.
Alia: Don't be so modest, Arnie.
Mike: Arnie?
Sam: Arnie?
Alia: I'm not ashamed of what we did.
Mike: Oh, that does it. I want you, dweebo, today at the quarry!
Sam: Just wait a minute...
Mike: And bring your wheels!
Sam: If you wanna commit suicide, that's your problem.
Alia: That's not what you said last night.
Sam: What?
Alia: You said that Mike and his friends were just playing a bunch of crazy kids' games, that they had no idea what real danger was like.
Mike: I'll show you danger. The quarry, an hour!
[Mike storms out of the library]
Sam: Dawn, what's going on?
[Sam grabs Alia, allowing the two leapers to see each others' true forms]
Sam: My god... Alia?
Alia: I don't have a choice, Sam.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [Declining Tess' hand in marriage, after successfully riding Widowmaker and thus winning the bet] Thanks, but no thanks. I just, uh... I wanted to see if I could ride him, not her.

Sam: Say something to me in Spanish.
Al: Uh, tu casa o mi casa.
Sam: My place or yours - Al!

Sammy: What's your name?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sam... Larry S- Stanton. What's yours?
Sammy: Sammie Jo.
Admiral: Samantha Josephine Fuller.
Sammy: I'm very, very glad you're here, Mr. Sam Larry Stanton. Very glad.

Admiral: I'd stick around too, but I hate to see a grown man cry, especially when it's me.

Admiral: Oh, Sam. God, I love her. Beth is the only woman I ever really loved, she's the only one I ever wanted to grow old with. That's why all my marriages never worked after that. Sam, if you're lucky, life is gonna give you one shot at true love. And Beth was mine. I lost her, but you could get her back for me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: God, Al, I wish I could. But I can't, and no one knows that better than you.

Susan: [of Lonnie] He doesn't wanna be stopped, Ray. He wants to die.
Admiral: I think she's right, Sam, I think he wants to be a martyr.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Is that right, Lonnie? You want to be a martyr?
Lonnie: Me, a martyr? Oh, hell, man, Watts is full of martyrs. They don't need me to join 'em.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Then why?
Lonnie: I'm tired of talkin' about 'why'.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Tired or scared?
Lonnie: I ain't afraid o' nothing.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Except living.

Gus: What the hell's going on, Clyde? One minute I'm doing business, the next I hear my bank's being robbed.
Sheriff: Well, first of all, your bank isn't being robbed, it's being occupied. Secondly, it isn't your bank. It belongs to the town.
Gus: I didn't drive 30 miles to get a lesson in semantics.

[talking about God]
Sam: In case you haven't noticed, Al, the Committee isn't running this Project anymore... He is.

Sam: I just was practicing what I was gonna say to the press about the tomb and the curse.
Ginny: Oh, yeah, well, I can just see the headlines now. They are going to love this!
Al: Yeah, I can see 'em too. "Genius has Death Wish. Nobel Prize Winner is really a Knucklehead."

Dr. Sam Beckett: I know how a man throws a ball...
[throws a baseball hard]
Dr. Sam Beckett: ...and how he throws a punch.
[knockes Buddy out cold]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I am ready to leap, NOW!
[leaps out]

Al: Women - you can't trust 'em. They don't understand the double standard.

[Sam is trying to get a cat from a tree]
Al: What are you doing, Sam?
Sam: Trying to save Ginger.
Al: That name is probably why he's up here in the first place.

Frankie: Why do you do that?
Mack: Do what?
Frankie: Why do you act like a geek so Davey has to come and save you?

Sam: Bingo, to quote you, you're in deep caca.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, I can't believe I'm here to do a summer high-fashion spread, or whatever they call it.
Admiral: Oh, hey... Maybe, maybe you're here to get Sports Illustrated to shoot the first swimsuit issue. Oh, that would be great; let's... Nah! Damn it! That happened in 1964, and here we are, June 15, 1965.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Soon to be '66, if you don't start telling me...
Admiral: Oh, okay, all right...

Lt. Lisa Sherman: If they don't find Marci's killer, then I'll testify.
Sam: What are you gonna tell 'em?
Lt. Lisa Sherman: The truth. That Jack was T. D. Y. Saturday, and I spent the night with you.
Sam: You're married?
Lt. Lisa Sherman: Yes; so is my husband. But it hasn't stopped him from landing on every blonde from here to Norway.

Al: Sam. Sex is not dirty. It's a very natural thing. Being frank about it, and educating your children to be morally responsible and safe, er, is better than sweeping it under the rug.
Sam: That's a pretty mature attitude, coming from somebody like you.
Al: No, it's not coming from me. That's coming from the real Dr. Ruth in the Waiting Room.

Al: Ziggy says there's a 72% chance that you're here to play with matches.
Al,53521: What?
[Al strikes the handlink hard]
Al: Stinking thing... Play with... Oh, mat-ma... oh, matchmaker. Play matchmaker.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [reminiscing about the year 1965] I'm 10, in the fourth grade. Marcia Green sits right in front of me.
Admiral: And you used to dip her pigtails into the inkwells.
Dr. Sam Beckett: We didn't have inkwells.
Admiral: Oh, we did. I used to dip Hanna Gretz's pigtails. That was until I discovered it was a lot more fun to take Hanna into the cloakroom.
Dr. Sam Beckett: In the fourth grade?
Admiral: I was... socially advanced.

Sgt. Lopez: Just a word of advice, Private. You wanna ship home with all the body parts you came here with, zip your lip.
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] Aye-aye, Sergeant Beaner.
Sgt. Lopez: See you on liberty, Oswald.
Al: Sam, are you outta your mind? You can't talk to *anybody* like that, much less a marine sergeant!
Sam: I know, Al. I know.
Al: Then why'd you do it?
Sam: I didn't.
Al: Excuse me, I heard you!
Sam: You heard the words come out of my mouth, but I didn't say 'em.
Al: You're scaring me, Sam.
Sam: Well, you're not alone. Maybe... maybe this has something to do with... leaping twice into the same person.
Al: What twice?
Sam: I leaped into Oswald in '63. At least that's what the newspapers I was holding said it was: March of '63.
Al: Well, how'd you know you were Oswald?
Sam: Marina was taking my picture. You know that famous picture with the rifle and, and the newspaper?
Al: That photograph is a fake. Yeah, Oswald's face is superimposed on somebody else's body to frame him.
Sam: But, Marina took it.
Al: How do you know she was Marina?
Sam: I called her Marina, and-and she called me... Alik.
Al: Well, there you see? You weren't Oswald.
[consults the handlink]
Al: All we have to do is ask Ziggy to trace the name Alik to anyone working at the CIA or the FB...
[groans]
Sam: What?
Al: Alik was the name Oswald used in Russia. And, uh, that's the name Marina used to call him.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Now, Annie. I'm sure that Ralph is really a very wonderful man.
Annie: Billy. Springtime is wonderful. Sunsets are wonderful. Babies are wonderful. Ralph... is Ralph.
Admiral: Ouch.

Sam: Ziggy?
Ziggy: Yes, Dr. Beckett?
Sam: You've made brilliant theoretical hypotheses with minimal data over the last four years.
Ziggy: That's true.
Sam: I'd like you to do one now.
Ziggy: I don't think so, Doctor.
Dr. Donna Eleese: Why not?
Ziggy: I'm dealing with too many data-limiting factors: the Admiral, this Captain Tom Jarret he's leapt into, a year no one had the foresight to preload into my memory banks. Actually, I was doing quite well absorbing the year until Franklin Delano Roosevelt died. It depressed me. Try me in 11.6 hours.
Sam: What if the Admiral doesn't have 11.6 hours?
Ziggy: I believe your brain is still slightly magnafluxed, Dr. Beckett, or you'd remember I never experience guilt. That's a flaw found only in human computers. Good night, Doctor. Have fun, you two.
Sam: Ziggy!
Dr. Donna Eleese: It won't do any good.
Sam: Why did I give him Barbara Streisand's ego?

Admiral: Your name is Maxwell Stoddard, you're 79 years old and you're convinced that you've been seeing U.F.O.s.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I did see one.
Admiral: Uh, yeah. But see, that's what happens to you, Sam. Ziggy says your memory is Swiss-cheesed with the real Mr. Stoddard, who, by the way right now, is in the waiting room, and he thinks he's on his way to Venus.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Guy must be terrified.
Admiral: Au contraire. He's in heaven. He keeps fingering our clothes. He wants to know what we eat. You know what he says to me? He says, he says, "Take me to your leader." So I turned him over to Gushie. Told him he was the king of the planet Halitosis.

Sam: It's not fair, Al. I mean, c'mon, it's not fair.
Admiral: Well, I think, uh, I think it's damn fair.
Sam: What?
Admiral: I'd give anything to see my father, and my sister, for a few days. Be able to talk with them again... Laugh with them... Tell 'em how much I love them. I'd give anything to have what you have, Sam. Anything.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Dennis] Look, I'm surprised you're gettin' away with this.
Marilyn: With what?
Dr. Sam Beckett: With, with bein' out in the public, you know, without bein' spotted.
Marilyn: Only Marilyn Monroe gets spotted. Today I'm Norma Jean Baker.

Nancy: Miss McBain. Did you go out on a date with Kevin Wentworth on the 20th of June?
Katie: Yes. He asked me to go to dinner that night.
[Sam repeats]
Nancy: Did you accept?
Katie: Yes.
[Sam repeats]
Nancy: Could you please tell the court what happened on that dinner date?
Katie: Kevin took me to Au Petit Richard. It was very expensive and very nice.
[Sam repeats]
Katie: Then, after dinner, he asked me to go for a drive. And I told him that I had to work the next day. I'd rather go straight home.
[Sam repeats]
Nancy: Did he take you straight home as you requested?
Katie: No. Took me to Fort Cronkite instead.
[Sam repeats]
Nancy: And what happened there?
Katie: [Sam can no longer be heard repeating Katie's testimony] He parked the car and started to kiss me.
Nancy: Did you kiss him back?
Katie: At first. But then he started to get carried away and I stopped.
Nancy: Carried away?
Katie: He tried to put his hand up my dress.
Nancy: Go on.
Katie: I told him I wasn't like that, that I was a nice girl.
Nancy: What did he say?
Katie: He said the only difference between nice girls and bad girls is that bad girls help you. Then he started kissing and groping me again, and I started to cry.
Nancy: How did he respond to your tears?
Katie: He slapped me. And I think I screamed, because then he hit men and pinned my arms behind me.

[the Sheriff comes in to discover one of his prisoners has vanished during the night]
Sheriff: Where is George?
Joseph: Gone.
Sheriff: How?
Joseph: I turned him into a raven. He flew away.
Sheriff: Why didn't you go with him?
Joseph: I can only turn into a wolf. I'm too big for the bars.

Diana St. Cloud: In marriage, husbands and wives are one; and that one is the husband.
Suzanne: Diana, I just don't understand. How did we let it get that way?
Diana St. Cloud: Fear.
Suzanne: Of what?
Diana St. Cloud: Well, mine started with my father, who used to beat me.
Suzanne: Really?
Diana St. Cloud: And when he wasn't hitting me, he would tell me I was stupid, and brainless. And my mother allowed it, because she was so afraid she wouldn't be able to survive alone.
Suzanne: I can't believe anyone would hit their own child.
Diana St. Cloud: Well, I guess by putting me down, my father was making himself feel smarter and stronger.
Suzanne: But that's wrong.
Diana St. Cloud: I know. Suzi, men have been oppressing women for thousands of years, and we've allowed it.
Suzanne: Well, I'm not gonna allow it.
Diana St. Cloud: We allow it. And every time we tell our daughters they're not as bright, not as strong, not as good as men, every time, we're creating another generation of fear.

Admiral: My relationships have all been good. It's my marriages that haven't worked out.

Admiral: Ziggy, he crashed on us the other night, and ever since, he's been doin' screwball things, like he put extra zeros on everybody's paycheck. So half the staff rushed out on vacation.

[after Edie has accidentally taken an overdose, Sam is trying to keep her walking around and talking]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [helping Edie back on her feet] Al! Come on, come on, come on.
Admiral: Sam, Ziggy says she's got a 42%... Oh, wait! It's going up! 43%. Sam, keep her going!
Edie: [groggy] Al?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh, Al is my dog. Al, on the farm.
Admiral: [indignant] Your dog? All right, it's up to 46%, but I'm still insulted.

Admiral: [about his fifth wife] She always had a dream of skating. Professionally. In the roller derby.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Roller derby?
Admiral: Yeah. And it was hard watching her build her hopes up for those tryouts, you know, and then fail. Er, she never got it. She fell on her tushy all the time.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al.
Admiral: So she tried a little ice skating. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same. Finally we broke up.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Are you telling me that you broke up with your fifth wife, because she couldn't get into the roller derby game?
Admiral: No, she ran off with a bricklayer.

[last lines]
Sue: What am I gonna do now?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, you're gonna reach for the stars. And you're gonna keep right on reachin', till you touch 'em.

[Sam is worried about his mind merging with Lee Harvey Oswald]
Sam: What if I assassinate the President?
Al: You're not gonna assassinate the President. This is '57, that doesn't happen for another six years!
Sam: Fifteen minutes ago, it was six years from now. And who's to say that's not gonna happen again, in November, with me at the Texas School Book Depository? Good God, Al. If that happened, I could stop the assassination.
Al: If Oswald really was the assassin.
Sam: What do you mean if Oswald was really the assassin?
Al: Well, there's a lot of people think that he was set up.
Sam: Set up? By whom?
Al: Could have been anybody. Could've been the FBI, Secret Service, uh, CIA, the military, the Mafia, defense contractors, John Birchers, you name it. They all had something to gain from Kennedy's death.
Sam: Al, we're talking about murdering the President of the United States.
Al: Don't you remember all the conspiracy books and the movies?
Sam: No. But I do remember that day in November like it was yesterday. I was ten and my dad was teaching me how to drive the tractor in the field behind the house. All of a sudden, Mom came out yelling at us. She ran up right to the fence and she was yellin' and we thought it was because of what we were doing. But then she told us that the President had just been shot.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I think I should take you back and put you in the nursing home, so you can be with your family and your friends.
Joseph: What family? There's only you and Suzanne. And you moved away.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What about your friends?
Joseph: My friends are here. The sun. The sky. The wind. And the earth.
Dr. Sam Beckett: The shape you're in, your friends could kill you.

Sam: [whenever Sam's mind merges with Dr Ruth's] Now, we are getting somewhere.

Sam: Who was she, Al? Who was she? What songs did she like to sing? Who did she dream about at night?
Al: William Holden.
Sam: What?
Al: William Holden. It's 1957, she's a teenager, she had to have a crush on either William Holden or James Dean. Knowing her background, my money's on Bill. I'll bet "Picnic" is the first movie she saw when she came to the United States.

[Sam has declined Marilyn's invitation to join her in the swimming pool]
Marilyn: I never thought I'd see the day a man turns me down for a skinny-dip. I must be losing it.

Dr. Sam Beckett: What if Jack, when he leaped out, left a piece of himself in here; and that piece knows why Peter is gonna kill him.
Admiral: [incredulously] A piece of Jack?

Admiral: I can never figure out, when life is so short, how we always find time to argue. You'd think that we would look at the good things around us.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Carpe diem.
Admiral: Seize the day.
Admiral: [together] And that's the way it should be.

Joseph: When I was in World War I, only the officers had ponies. I could never get over how naked they looked without their markings. How could you tell what they had done? How could you frighten your enemies?

Sam: You have great eyes.
Dr. Donna Eleese: Are you talking about the way they look or my vision?
Sam: Yes.

Admiral: What a scene! Chicks in cells. Talk about your major fantasy.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Thank you for sharing. Now, what the hell am I doing here?
Admiral: What could be better? Chicks in *chains* in cells.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al!
Admiral: That would be bet- What? Wh- Oh.

[Billy Jean has accidentally discolored Leola's hair when working in the beauty parlor]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm sorry.
Dorothy: Oh, I'll fix it.
Leola: You can't fix it! It's purple, for heaven's sake!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Looks kinda punk.
[everyone is staring at him/her]
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's gonna be very big in the '80s.
Leola: Well, I don't know where Aidees is; but here in Oklahoma, we don't like lookin' like an electrified cotton candy!

Al: Ziggy is blowing out microchips like they were popcorn. He just, he didn't see it coming.
Sam: What?
Al: What? Sam, this is the 17th of June 1972.
Sam: So?
Al: So? We're in the Watergate! Break-in, Nixon, impeachment...
Sam: I don't remember.
Al: Oh, boy. The Republicans would love you.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [Sam and Al bump into Ronnie who's in civilian clothes and carrying a couple of packed bags] I was just on my way to the track.
Ronnie: So what?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [sighs] You goin' somewhere?
Ronnie: I'm dropping out of Prescott.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Where you gonna' go?
Ronnie: Somewhere where I don't have to deal with people like you.
Admiral: [Sam and Al take a second to watch Ronnie's departing back] There goes a troubled young guy. Gosh, it's a shame he had to drive a kid like Philip out of the service.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, I know. Wait a second. Weren't you the guy who said the military is no place...? What's going on with you?
Admiral: [sheepishly] I was... I was wrong. I was wrong. Alright. I was... You were right. I was wrong.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What made you change your mind?
Admiral: Uh... you. The coach. Philip, mostly Philip. So, I realised that er... I was wrong. I'm not always right. I was wrong.

Al: Well, we been having some difficulty. Ziggy, he's, uh, going through mood swings. I think we need get a girl computer put it right next to him, one with a nice set of *hard* disks.
Sam: You would.

Al: I've been so preoccupied, er, with myself - no pun intended.

Admiral: I love the theater! The roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd...
Dr. Sam Beckett: I think that's the other way around.
Admiral: Mmm? Oh, you- you never did summer stock.

Vanessa: Now what're you looking for?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Just... praying that you've got some food and water in here.
Vanessa: It's a hope chest, not a picnic basket.
Admiral: That sounds more like a no-hope chest.

Sam: I gotta get out of here!
Al: What are you gonna do? Go to work for an organ grinder?

Tamlyn: Ooh. You feel a chill in here?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh...
Admiral: All right, Sam. Go on, have your fun. But you can't stay here.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yes, I can.
Tamlyn: Well, we can fix that.
Admiral: No, you can't. Have you thought about the guy you leaped into? That Dylan? Huh? Would you leave him in the waiting room forever? Would you? Wou...
[Sam and Tamlyn are in a deep embrace]
Admiral: Maybe you would.
[checks Tamlyn out more closely]
Admiral: Maybe I would, too.

Sam: I'm running track, Al.
Al: Oh, well look, you pump your arms and you pump your legs and drive through the tape.
Sam: You were a runner too?
Al: No, but it sounds good, doesn't it?

Admiral: You can't reach! You gotta wait for her to come to you, and then you grab her. If you had done that, you would have caught her, just like on the double.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You really think so?
Admiral: [laughing] Of course! Am I ever wrong? Marriages don't count.

[Sam is embodying Darlene, a contestant at a beauty pageant, and currently wearing a 19th-century style dress]
Admiral: Don't tell me, let me guess: Scarlett O'Hara on steroids.

Pageant: What in the name o' heaven do you think you're doing?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm sorry?
Pageant: Well, you're never gonna become Miss Deep South movin' like that.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Like... what?
Pageant: Like a... man. Oh, didn't anyone ever teach you the proper way to walk?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Was I doing it wrong?
Pageant: Not if you plan on becomin' a truck driver.

[Ziggy describes the feeling of shooting a machine gun]
Ziggy: Empty cabbages fly everywhere.
Sam: You mean empty cartridges.
Ziggy: Yeah, that too.

Receptionist: Is there a Rachel Elroy here?
Rachel: That's me.
Receptionist: You have a phone call.
Ellen: My last name is Elroy, too!
Rachel: [jokingly] Really? Maybe we're related.
Admiral: Closer than you think, honey.

Shumway: Katie, this is Nancy Hudson, Assistant DA.
Nancy: Sorry this happened to you.
Sam: Yeah, me too. Thanks.
Nancy: Uuh... We have your statement. She looked at mug shots yet? Maybe we'll get lucky.
Sam: I don't think that that will be...
Shumway: We know the man.
Nancy: And?
Shumway: And he was her date.
Sam: Is that gonna be a problem?
Nancy: Katie, in cases like yours where the rapist was your friend, they're incredibly though to prove.
Sam: That doesn't give him a right to commit a crime. Rape is a crime, isn't it?
Nancy: I didn't say it wasn't. But all it takes is for you to say "yes", and it's not a crime. One word, Miss...
Sam: McBain.
Nancy: ...and we don't have a case. Isn't that right, Officer?
Shumway: Hey, look, I know we got burned on the last one, but... I'd bet my new fishing rod we can win this.
Nancy: Your *new* fishing rod, eh? That's serious.
Nancy: [to Sam] Look, I don't mean to make light of this situation, but... gotta be at a hearing in ten minutes. Katie, I'll tell you what. Tell you what, I'll review this file. Come back after lunch. Alone.
Shumway: You're hurting my feelings.
Sam: I'll be back, thanks.
Nancy: And I really am sorry.
[leaves, then quickly returns]
Nancy: Shumway, what would I do with your new fishing rod anyway?
Shumway: I'd... You'd loan it to me every weekend!

Tess: Where you goin', Doc?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, I just, I thought I might go home and have a hot bath, eat a little supper... have a hot bath...
Tess: Well, we got business in town. There's a buyer interested in one of our prize bulls, and if you intend to run Riata with me, I think maybe you better come along.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Without a bath?
Tess: You got it, cowboy.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [under his breath] Bonanza was never like this.

[Sam is Margaret Sanders, a mother who becomes embroiled in the equal rights movement of the sixties]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [after an argument with George, Margaret's husband] Nobody should be treated like that, Al. Nobody. Patronized, insulted like that. It's...
Admiral: George and all the other Georges in the world, they have no idea that they're denigrating women. It's just they were never taught to behave any other way.

Sam: Revenge is mine, thus sayeth the hologram!

Sam: How I treated Mariska out there was sickening.
Al: What'd you do?
Sam: I treated her like dirt, and she threw herself at me.
Al: Oh, works every time.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [referring to Moe] We don't know that this guy is crazy. Right? I mean, look at me. I'm standing here, I'm dressed like a giant TV dinner talking to a hologram! Now, what does that make me?
Admiral: Eccentric.

[after Sue Anne and Sam/Elvis have given a stunning singing performance]
Dr. Sam Beckett: You got a lot of talent.
Sue: Well, then the good Lord must've been smilin' down on me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, or you must've been reachin' for the stars, 'cause I don't think he could see you through the ceiling.

Al: You're part of a time-travel experiment that went a little... ka ka.
Dr. Sam Beckett: A little ka ka? HOW ka ka?
Al: Well, you're here! That's great! Nobel Prize material. You should be proud.
Dr. Sam Beckett: And...?
Al: [hesitating] And... we're experiencing technical difficulties in retrieving you.

Sam: Al. We can't leave now. This is a major, major discovery!
Al: This is gonna be a major, major catastrophe! What're you being so stubborn about this one for? It's crazy.
Sam: Ptah-Hotep was never found. We can't lose him now!
Al: Well, that's no problem. Ziggy'll locate it right after we get this chip business straightened out, and then, in 1999, you can...
[consults his handlink]
Al: Uh-oh.
Sam: I knew it, I knew it. "Uh-oh" what?
Al: Uh, well, there's a 99.8% chance that Ptah-Hotep's tomb is gonna be destroyed when they build the Aswân Dam in... the '60s.
Sam: OK, so, see? I gotta stay.

[Sam looks in the mirror, stunned]
Al,: Something wrong?
Sam: That's, uh... me - in the m-mirror.

Bob: [to his gang after Sam/Cameron decked him] Get him!

[last lines]
[Al has told Dr. Ruth about his first wife Beth]
Dr. Ruth: Did you love this Beth more than you love Tina?
Al: Yes. But it was different.
Dr. Ruth: So you love Tina different than Beth, but you still love her?
Al: Yes.
Dr. Ruth: Did you hear what you just said?
Al: I said, I love Tina different... I s- I said it!
Dr. Ruth: Maybe I tricked you into it, but you said it. Now say it again, and drop the "different" part. That's a given.
Al: I love Tina.
Dr. Ruth: Now go tell her.
Al: Okay. Gee, thanks, Doc.
[he leaves]
Dr. Ruth: Next!

[talking about God]
Sam: In case you haven't noticed, Al, the Committee isn't running this Project anymore... He is.

[an amorous co-worker comes on to Sam as Samantha]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Don't even start unless you want to eat your teeth for lunch.

Dr. Sam Beckett: She called me monkey boy? She did, she called me monkey boy!
Admiral: Yeah, but that's her job. Hey! You're thirteen, she's your big sister. That's her job.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Thirteen? I'm old enough to be my own father.

Al: I'll go back and I'll run some more scenarios on escapes, and maybe I can reduce the odds a little bit.
Sam: So just hurry up, all right? She's planning dinner, and I got a feeling that... I'm the dessert.

[Sam has provoked Ralph into a fist fight, to get him to admit his love for Annie]
Ralph: I loved her in second grade before you ever saw her! I loved her in high school when she was sweet on you because you played quarterback.
[fighting]
Ralph: I used to flatten the tires on Daddy's truck so you two couldn't go parking.
[more fighting]
Ralph: And still you, you took her away from me.
[punches Sam]
Dr. Sam Beckett: And she... was... wonderful.
Ralph: And after, after you left town, I still loved her. I'd hug her and I'd kiss her, and I'd look into her eyes, and they'd be hollow and sad, 'cause I just wasn't you, Billy. Damn it to hell, I still loved her. And after I made love to her, and after I'd asked her to marry me, she still wanted you. And I wished to God that I was you. I still love her.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Don't tell me. Tell her.

[Teresa has run away when seeing Sam in the role of her mother]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Do you... do you think you could go and, and... talk to her again, uh, uh, please?
Susan: Mom, I'm eleven. I won't have my psych degree for another fifteen years.
Kevin: They don't give degrees to the hopelessly stupid.

Al: Their only desire is for you to pamper them, and play with their...
Sam: Al!
Al: With their hair! Their hair!

Tess: [Speaking to her father] And I'll tell you what. If there's a man on this ranch who can keep up with me for one week, then I'll marry him. But if he can't, then we forget about this marriage business once and for all.

Dr. Sam Beckett: You know, Al, this ghost hunting equipment that Dr. Mintz has placed around the estate, it's not bad for '71. It's designed to pick up a wide spectrum of electrical activity, including brain waves. Get a load of this. It picked up my leap-in last night.

Dr. Mason Crane: [referring to Janice DeCaro] I told her that I loved her and that I had to have her heart. But you see, that was her problem. She couldn't give her heart. So I took it. It was the only way that I could really help her.

Admiral: Play it again, Sam. I always wanted to say that!

Admiral: Do you have any Sweet 'n Low? Or Equal?
Kelly: Sweet 'n low? Equal?
Sam: Oh, no, no, no, no. They didn't have any artificial sweetner in 1945. Okay? But...
[he looks at Kelly]
Sam: ...boy, did they have women with big kazooms!

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Marty, sighing] Oh, boy!
Admiral: What's wrong?
Dr. Sam Beckett: What's wrong? Al, I'm a bigamist!

[when Suzanne - after some hanky-panky with Al - goes for a whiz, Sam follows her into the bushes]
Admiral: Sam!
Sam: [returns] What am I doing?
Admiral: You dog!
Sam: Well, it's your filthy mind!
Admiral: Yeah, well, I want my mind back! These choir boy thoughts are drivin' me nuts!
Sam: Well, they didn't seem to stop you a few minutes ago.

Al,: [of Sam] Maybe he's here for the same reason you are - to have a beer.
Stawpah: I never drink beer, Al. You know that.
Al,: I forgot.
[he laughs]
Stawpah: You no forget nothing. I wonder what happen around here if you did.
Al,: Things might go a little ca-ca.

Dr. Sam Beckett: You know, people with monogamous relationships don't wake up with guilty consciences.
Admiral: I know. They don't have any fun either.

Alexandra: Mom? I think Butchie's gonna puke again.
Emma: Alex, a lady doesn't say 'puke', she says 'throw up'.
Alexandra: Yeah, well, he looks like he's gonna do that, too!

Al: We're making preparations for Tina's birthday party and she wants me to pop out of the cake. You'll never believe what she wants me not to wear.

Sam: Say something to me in Spanish.
Al: Uh, tu casa o mi casa.
Sam: My place or yours - Al!

Sam: Ziggy?
Ziggy: That was a quickie, Dr. Beckett.
Sam: What you got on Al?
Ziggy: He's 175.26 centimeters tall, weighs 70.91...
Sam: Ziggy!
Ziggy: Yes, Doctor?
Sam: Give me what I want, baby.
Ziggy: Ooh, if you weren't my father.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Look, son, you know what it means to be in the Klan?
Cody: It means we're gonna stop the coloreds from taking over.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Taking over what?
Cody: I don't know.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You like Ada, don't you?
Cody: Yeah, she's nice.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Would you ever hurt her?
Cody: No. Why would I wanna hurt Ada?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Maybe because her skin's a different color. Some people are afraid of things that are different. It's not just skin color. It could be religion or...
Cody: But then, why didn't God just make everybody the same? Then it wouldn't matter.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, see now, that's exactly the point, Cody. It doesn't matter unless we make it matter.
Cody: But Grandpa says it matters.
Dr. Sam Beckett: His papa told him, and his papa before him told him, and... nobody thought to say 'stop'. See, it's up to you and me to say, 'Stop. This is wrong.'

[Sam sees his reflection in the mirror]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh boy. I'm an Indian!
Joseph: Could be worse. You could be a white man, eh?

Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] 1954 was an age of innocence - a time when people still believed in the American Dream. I realized that I had leaped into a man who personified that dream, a man who went from being a truck driver to a superstar overnight. Walking a mile in Elvis Presley's blue suede shoes before he became the idol of millions made me realize he was just a normal person. I kept wondering if he would've been happier had he stayed that way.

[Sam and Alia are meeting in the library, both unaware of who the other is]
Alia: I'm sorry Mike was such a jerk today.
Sam: Oh, it's not your fault.
Alia: Most of the time he's really sweet. He only acts macho when it comes to his fraternity.
Sam: Macho?
Alia: Yeah, I learned it last summer in Spain. It means manly, masculine, *macho*.
Sam: Yeah, well, he sure likes acting macho when he's out chicken racing with his buddies, doesn't he?
Alia: Yeah, you're not kidding.
Sam: Have you ever tried to talk him out of it?
Alia: He doesn't listen to me. I'm just his girl.
Sam: Oh, yeah, right. It's the '50s.
[Alia gives Sam a puzzled expression]
Sam: I mean, I've got this feeling that s-, that someday, men are gonna be much more receptive to the way women think.

Arnold: So you understand my mission?
Al: Arnold, you're a college student! Your mission is to get good grades, uh, swallow a couple of goldfish, and figure out how much you can drink without blowing chunks.
Arnold: What?
Al: Without barfing.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Why do we even bother?
Admiral: 'cause that's what we do. We're professional botherers.

Dr. Sam Beckett: You can't hit a home run if you don't come up to the plate.

[Sam's character Tyler has sold his former partner's heroics to the public as his own, much to the latter's chagrin]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Tyler] Look, Pat. If I change my story now, I'll lose everything.
Pat: You made the problem, mister, and it's up to you to make it right.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, but the only thing that's at stake here is, is your pride. Now, you can't believe that it's worth killin' somebody o-over a matter of pride.
Pat: What the hell else did we ever have?

Warren: I've seen you play a few times. You're good.
Chucky: Well, I don't know about that. I'd be in a lot of trouble if, uh, if Doc here hadn't made that leap.
Admiral: You can say that again, kid.

Kevin: Um... Sue. If you had a guy that... like, you know, he liked you... what would he have to do to, er... You know.
Susan: I'm eleven. I don't have to deal with that teenage mating ritual crap.

[Sam has leaped into Bobo, one of the test chimps in the early stages of Project Mercury]
Sam: [to the vet examining him] Lady, I need to tell you something that's probably gonna come as a terrible, terrible shock to you, but, see, I am not...
Dr. Leslie Ashton: Bobo, no. Good boy.
Sam: I am not a chimp, all ri...?
[chimp Cory blows a raspberry at him]
Sam: No offense, okay?

[Sam has leaped into Jack Stone, a man with a traumatic past]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I feel like I'm... possessed, Al.
Admiral: Possessed?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah.
Admiral: Great. Now it's The Exorcist.

[Al and Sam are discussing Kevin who has been challenged to make a move on a girl]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm not gonna tell a fifteen-year-old boy how to seduce a girl.
Admiral: I don't see where you have any choice in this, Sam. The kid is-is-is- He's inexperienced.
Dr. Sam Beckett: He's supposed to be inexperienced. He's fifteen!
Admiral: I kno- I'll have you know, when I was fif...
Dr. Sam Beckett: The fact that you were a practicing pervert at the age of five has nothing to do with the rest of the world.

Admiral: [of Vernon] What a nozzle. I'd l-, I'd like to grab his Adam's apple and pull it out through his nostrils.

Sam: Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about}: making the right choice at the right time.

Kilpatrick: Heck of a catch!

[Al is keeping watch over a suicidal, quadriplegic Vietnam veteran]
Al: It's all right to be angry, you know? Things happened to all of us over there that... are hard to live with. But we didn't start this filthy war, we just fought it. That's what soldiers are for, they fight. And I bet you think nobody cares, but that's not true; because I care, and Sam cares and... whatever it is that's jumping us around in time cares. They're gonna build a wall, in Washington. And they're gonna carve all these names in it, of all the victims of this lousy war. Don't add another one to it, huh? There's so many. There's too many.

Sam: Do you have to sneak up on me?
Al: I'm sorry. What do you expect a hologram to do? Knock?

[last lines before the leap]
Admiral: Sam. You did it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [holding Lonnie in his arms, sobbing] Is it enough, Al? Is it enough?

[Sam - as Conway - does not believe in the curse of Ptah-Hotep]
Razul: Dr. Conway, my dear friend. You are a student of Egypt, but you're not one of its sons. And until you have heard what I have heard and seen what I have seen, I would not expect you to believe that such a thing as a curse could be true. But it is.
Sam: 3500-year-old dead men don't just get up and walk around.
Razul: Not him, my dear boy. His ka.
Al: That's his spirit body.
Sam: I know what it is.
Razul: Of course you do, but it could still be standing guard in his tomb, and is now protecting him.
Sam: That would mean that Ptah-Hotep's body is still nearby.
Razul: Yes, yes, yes. Perhaps you are right. Legend has it that Ptah-Hotep had a diamond scarab the size of a cow's eye, called the Heart of Ptah-Hotep. Supposedly, he used it to work magic.
Sam: Right, and... with it he would one day walk again on Earth.
Al: He's already doin' it.

[Sam is embodying Ray, a black medical student whose girlfriend, Susan, is white]
Mama: Raising your children is gonna be hard, no matter where you do it.
Susan: Why?
Mama: Because wherever you go, they won't fit in. They won't be black and they won't be white.
Dr. Sam Beckett: They'll be human.
Mama: Of course they'll be human, child. I'm talking about race!
Dr. Sam Beckett: I know, but, maybe, if we teach our kids to say that they're human, instead of black or white or red or yellow, maybe race won't matter.
Mama: Huh. Not in my lifetime.

Dr. Mason Crane: What is it you want, Mr. Stone?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I wanna sleep. Again. I-I-I've been having these dreams. They're very frightening to me, and... I want 'em to stop. They have to stop, Dr. Crane. They have to.
Dr. Mason Crane: Part of what you're saying to me is a lie, Mr. Stone, and part of it is painfully true. Be here tomorrow at four o'clock. And please, Mr. Stone, don't lie to me again. I don't like lies, and I always know.

Flash: We have more money than Croesus, ha-ha! We're gonna make The Beatles look like ants, huh-huh, yeah. Aren't we? He-he.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't remember.
Flash: Huh?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I m-, I mean, uh, that's what people're gonna be saying, about The Beatles: "I don't remember them", you know, when we get really big. I mean, The Beatles, they're like an insect infestation!
[laughter]
Flash: Yeah! And we're the bloody exterminators!

Al: There are five stages of love. The first is denial, then the second is sex, then there's acceptance, then there's divorce... and then there's more sex, if you're lucky.
Sam: Who wrote this textbook, you or Zsa Zsa?

Suzanne: Are you sorry you burned your bra last night?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [chuckles] No. The last thing I ever wanna wear is another bra.

[Stacker tells the boys how Al came to his nickname "Bingo"]
Stacker: ...He lands wheels-up in this pasture, right? Bangs his head on the gunsight. When he comes to, he looks up and he sees three sets of casabas hangin' over him. He thinks, "Oh, man, it's a concussion."
Plumber: I wouldn't mind that concussion!
Stacker: But it's not. It's triplets. We find him the next morning asleep under the wing. I say, "How'd you spend the night?" He says, "Bingo, bango, bongo!"

Admiral: [notices a sexy woman passing by on the street] This isn't fair. Sam, a beautiful body like that and I'm just thinking pure thoughts? Damn it!

Kevin: [about Magnum, P.I] The guy talks like he's been sucking helium, and he giggles like a girl.
Susan: The only thing that matters is that he's sensitive, and he understands the needs of a woman.
Kevin: And what makes you such an expert on a woman's needs, runt?
Susan: Knowledge by gender, jerk.

Sgt. Lopez: Russian? You speaking to me in Russian?
Sam: It's just a little slip of the tongue. See, I'm, uh, I'm studying Russian and-and-and some-, sometimes it comes out.
Sgt. Lopez: [taking and twisting Sam's nose between his fingers] You know what I'm studying? Huh?
Sam: The... Three Stooges?

Dr. Sam Beckett: Mom, I want you to throw this town the biggest picnic they've ever seen.
Grace: Picnic? Why?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Why? Why? Why, because it always rains on a picnic!

Tully: [respectively] Them that dance with the Devil are bound to get scorched.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Have you always been this mean?
Diane: No, just recently.
Dr. Sam Beckett: My luck.
Diane: Look. I haven't slept in a week. I'm tired and wet... I'm only human.
Dr. Sam Beckett: That's a matter of opinion.

Marilyn: Poor James Dean. Sometimes I think I'll go like him: young and fast.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] Some quantum leaps are like nightmares - getting pummeled in a boxing ring, working on a chain gang... So if you'd told me I'd find myself chauffeuring Marilyn Monroe around Hollywood in a big V8 convertible, I'd say I'd died and gone to heaven.

Admiral: [of Olivia] Oh. That's a hell of a woman.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, well, hell is one word I would use.

Sam: Where the hell were you?
Al: I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime.
Sam: A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?
Al: It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play-off game. At the party later, I met this dish named Martha.
Sam: I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha.
Al: Well, I did.

Dr. Ruth: [whenever Dr Ruth's mind merges with Sam's] Now, we are getting somewhere.

Annie: Why would someone as famous as you care about someone like me?
Sam: How do you think I got to be so famous? Besides, helping people's what I do for a living.

Admiral: Just, er, ran some checks - way, way back in the records, and it turns out there was a singer named An-An-An...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Angelita.
Admiral: Uh-huh. Uh, yeah, in Spanish Harlem, back in the '20s.
Angelita: Of course.
Admiral: Uh, small problem with that though.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What's that?
Admiral: Uh, well, she... she died in 1928.
Angelita: [cheerfully] Oh, boy!

Catherine: Phillip, you smell horrible, but I don't care. I don't care about anything except being with you for the rest of my life... if you'll have me.
Admiral: [projecting Phillip's and Catherine's future] Wow... Six kids! You guys are gonna be busy bunnies.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I think that can be arranged.

Admiral: Sam, I know that look.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What look?
Admiral: What look? That look. The "I'm gonna save the world" look. Ziggy says this leap's over as soon as the brothers surrender.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I can't do that.
Admiral: What do you mean you can't? Maybe I'm not making myself clear here. I'm talking life and death here.
Dr. Sam Beckett: So am I. Don't you get it, Al? It doesn't matter if you kill a man with a gun or with a pen. In the end, he's still dead. I'm home, Al. And I'm gonna stay right here.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Jimmy while performing CPR on Corey] Don't you die! Don't you die! Breathe, dammit! Come on! Come on, breathe! Dammit, breathe! Come on! If you die, you're never gonna see Star Wars!

Dr. Sam Beckett: [Sam is in danger of being washed out to sea with the ship's garbage] Throw me a rope.
Admiral: Throw you the rope! I can't throw you a rope. I'm a hologram.

Sam: Ziggy?
Ziggy: Yeeeeessssss?
Sam: Do you have enough...
Ziggy: Data to give you a reasonably accurate projection as to why Admiral Calavicci has leapt into Crown Point, Indiana, in the year 1945?
Sam: Yes.
Ziggy: No.
Sam: Do you have any data on Admiral Calavicci?
Ziggy: He'll kiss the girls and make them cry.
Tina: [sighing] Oh, ain't that the truth.

[with Carol's help, Sam has completed his mission]
Sam: Thank you.
Carol: For what?
Sam: Believing me.

[Sam has to testify as Katie at her rape trial the next morning]
Sam: Al. I think I figured out the solution to the problem.
Al: Well, then you're doing better than me and Ziggy.
Sam: Who's the one person who can tell us the truth about what happened that night?
Al: Katie.
Sam: Right. So we bring her in to testify.
Al: A-ha. How can we do that? She's in the waiting room.
Sam: No, wait a second. What if she's in the imaging chamber?
Al: And touching me!
Sam: Then I can see her.
Al: Yeah, but you couldn't hear her. And your lip-reading is terrible, as- Oh! I could repeat everything she says.
Sam: No, no, no, that would take too long. You have to figure out a way for me to hear her.
Al: How?
Sam: Well, I haven't figured that out. That's for you and Ziggy to work out.
Al: In twelve hours?
Sam: Oh, come on, twelve hours. What's twelve hours? You and Ziggy together? Come on!
Al: What makes you so sure?
Sam: It's all the time I got.

Sam: [slightly upset] By the way. My wife is- Miller's wife is on her way here.
Al: Julie Miller.
Sam: Julie. Oh, good. I know her first name. She probably knows mine. I mean, just think of all the things we can talk about now.

Dr. Ruth: Tell me about your girlfriend.
Al: W-well, uh, her name is Tina.
Dr. Ruth: M-hm. So tell me more.
Al: More about Tina?
Dr. Ruth: M-hm.
Al: Ah. Well, um... Oh, well. She's got... great... casabas.
Dr. Ruth: What are these casabas?
Al: Well, you know. Melons.
Dr. Ruth: Hmm?
Al: Hoo-has? Honkers? Hooters? Headlights? Uh... tatas? Teeters? Tweeters? Tom-toms? Tetons?
Dr. Ruth: Say it.
Al: I'm trying to say it. Uh, meatballs. Mangoes. Cream pies. Cupcakes? Uh... bangers? Bouncers? Bulumbas?
Dr. Ruth: Al.
Al: Bazongas? Breasts! I said it.
Dr. Ruth: You see? It wasn't that hard.

Victor: May I propose a toast? To stab the hearts of mortal men, they spill their blood like rain. And to the night we offer ours, to demons without shame. To the Blood Moon.
Claudia: The Blood Moon.
Lady: The Blood Moon.
Dr. Sam Beckett: ...To the m-moon.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [of Nicole] I wonder what she's doing in Syracuse.
Admiral: I bet a lot of people ask themselves that question.

[after switching places with Sam, Al is for once the one leaping into the body of Captain Tom Jarret, a war hero]
Mike: You look terrific! Considering.
Admiral: Considering? Considering what?
Mike: What? Tom, you just spent three years in a POW camp. They didn't feed you much, did they?
Admiral: Bowl of rice a day.
Mike: Germans fed you rice?
Admiral: The VC.
Mike: VC?
Sam: Al, Al, you're not Admiral Al Calavicci; you're Captain Tom somebody, and you better start acting like him until Ziggy tells us what you're here to change.
Admiral: Oh. How?
Sam: How?
Admiral: [typing on his dead hand-link] There's nobody home.
Sam: Don't look at me, look at him!
Mike: Everybody's home. They're all still asleep. Is that some new kind of walkie-talkie?
Sam: Uh, yeah, yeah, yyyou're testing it for the government. It's top secret.
Admiral: Oh, yes, this is top secret, and I'm evaluating it for the Pentagon.
Sam: That's good. Now, put it away.
Admiral: Put it away.
Mike: Just got liberated from a POW camp, and they've already given you a new duty assignment.
Admiral: It's just like the Navy.
Sam: Army.
Admiral: Army.

[first lines]
Sheriff: [punching Sam] Lesson number one: it never pays to get smart with me!

Alia: Why haven't I leaped. Why am I still here?
Zoey: Lothos has decided you've got one more thing to do before you go. A little bonus.
Alia: What kind of bonus?
Zoey: Seems you're to kill the good Dr. Beckett.

Joseph: [dying] Do you like the Redskins?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [crying] Best damn team in America.

Al: You're gonna put me into a nuclear accelerator chamber, and send my body back into time?
Al: Right.
Al: [snorts] Now, even if I believed you, would you do this if you were me?
Al: I *am* you.

[Al tells Sam about Marilyn's passing only two years after these events]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Are you telling me that I saved her life so she could be in one last picture?
Admiral: But what a picture.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I got Rachel and her kids to the hotel. I got Ellen and her kids to the house. They didn't bump into each other. I did what I was supposed to do. Now, why haven't I leaped?
Admiral: Well, that's not what you were supposed to do.
Dr. Sam Beckett: But that's what you said I was supposed to do!
Admiral: No, that was just the first part.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Okay. Okay. What's the second part?
Admiral: Mm, well, now Ziggy's saying there's a 75% chance that you're here because Marty's only supposed to have *one* wife.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [to the villagers] In honor of this very special occasion, I'd like to pause for just a moment, if I might, and recognize my apprentice and my assistant, Clinton Levering. I'd like to ask Clinton, if he wouldn't mind, to prepare the cloud seeding solution for me today. Clinton?
Clinton: [laughs] Doc...
[he takes Sam aside]
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?
Clinton: What?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Come on, how many times you seen me do it?
Clinton: Er, probably a hundred.
Dr. Sam Beckett: So what's the problem?
Clinton: [chuckles] Ye ain't never done it the same way twice.

[Sam is talking to Al while being shadowed by guards]
Guard: [in Russian] Are you talking to us?
Sam: Uh, I was just thinking out loud.
[the guard nods benignly, without clearly indicating that he has understood Sam]
Sam: [in Russian] I talk to myself.
Guard: [in Russian] My grandmother talks to herself, too, but she is eighty-three.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [voice-over] Leaping around in time, I've run up against some pretty tough characters - violent bikers, mafia hitmen, psychotic killers. But never anyone quite as menacing as a big sister.

Sam: [v.o] We had leaped together and survived, but we still didn't know if Alia had leaped with me or if I had leaped with her. And being in a women's prison didn't make finding the answer to that any easier.

Gene: You know how I've always liked you, and respected you. Maybe some time I didn't show it. My daughter and my grandson, they love you a great deal. Damn it, I just tried to show you what I was doin' to protect my part of the world and my family! That's all I did.
Dr. Sam Beckett: If you love your family, don't do this to them.
Gene: I'm not doing it to them.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You bomb the church, they'll put you away for that. And if you kill me, who's gonna take care of your daughter, raise your grandson?
Gene: I'm not gonna kill you. You don't know me at all, do you?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know any man who'd dynamite a church.
Gene: I'm not just any man.

[making up a radio news piece]
Sam: Flash! President Eisenhower in a surprise move resigned from office this morning in order to join a Buddhist monastery. Said Ike 'I just like being around guys with less hair than me.'

Judge: What is wrong with the jury?
Dr. Sam Beckett: None of them are black.
Judge: You mean Negro?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh, yes, sir. And since my client is a Negro, it only seems fair that there be Negroes on the jury.
Bo: I object! There's never been a Negro impaneled on a jury in Louisiana.
Judge: Overruled. Leonard, there's only one problem. In order to serve on a jury, you have to be a registered voter, and, uh, since there aren't any Negroes registered in this parish, I just don't see how you're gonna to put one on that jury.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, that being the case, Your Honor, since the law requires a trial by a jury of one's peers, we have no choice but to reluctantly accept these white jurors as Lila's equals.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Whoever said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", never scorned two women.

Al: I went over to check out the cheerleaders. Oh, Sam. There was one little girl who had these pommelos, man.
Sam: Pommelos are grapefruit.
Al: Pommel - that's my point!

Dr. Sam Beckett: The public is crying for a new Marilyn Monroe movie.
Marilyn: After my last picture, they're just plain crying.

[at Hilla's grave]
Sam: I found this book of Mark Twain in her room, I think it was her favorite. Twain wrote this when his daughter died: "Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear heart, good night, good night."

[Al is giving Sam instructions for mixing the cloud seeding solution]
Admiral: All right. Next, you add acetone.
Dr. Sam Beckett: How much of this stuff?
Admiral: Uh, I don't know. AH! When you put that in it gets very unstable.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll blow up.

Salvation: More piernik, Mr Blake?
Michael G. Blake: Um... Oh, no, I-I really couldn't.
Salvation: Oh, you don't like it.
Michael G. Blake: No. I mean, yes, I do. It's delicious. Er... You know, my mother used to make this for me every Christmas.
Salvation: Well, I, I can't think of a nicer compliment.
Michael G. Blake: [surprised] You made this?
Salvation: She sings *and* she cooks. It's amazing.

Dr. Mason Crane: When you give an idea away, or a thought, or even a kiss, you can never take it back. But the heart is always yours to give, and yours to take.

[last lines]
Sam: If you hadn't reached me... I would have sh...
Admiral: No, it wouldn't have been you pulling that trigger, Sam, not really.
Sam: And then when I... I-I had a chance to save him, I leaped. Why, Al? Why?
Admiral: Oswald's mind finally reconnected, and when it did, he leaped back. And you leaped into the nearest person that could accomplish your mission.
Sam: But I didn't accomplish it.
Admiral: Well - maybe you did.
Sam: I didn't save him.
Admiral: No. But it doesn't look like that's what you were here to do. Ziggy thinks you were here to save her. Your Swiss-cheese mind probably doesn't remember, but the first time, Oswald killed Jackie, too.

[last lines]
Admiral: Say good night, Gracie.

Thelma: [after the duet] Hell, you two are good! You should get yourself an act.
Thelma: [after Lorraine exits] Did I say something?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Joey] No, no. We, um, we had an act about 3 years ago.
Thelma: Oh. Well, you ought to put it back together.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Don't tell me you were a biker, too.
Admiral: Er... Well, my first car was a bike. I had a '48 Harley Knucklehead.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Named after you?
Admiral: Pretend you didn't say that. I used to love to ride girls on the back of that thing. Ah, those were the days and nights.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Is there anything you haven't done, Al?
Admiral: Well, there's one thing that's impossible to do on a bike...

Dr. Sam Beckett: Phillip's gonna die tonight.
Coach: I thought we settled that.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, we did, but it-it's still gonna happen.
Coach: How do you know?
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's kind of hard for me to explain. Look, Coach, you trusted me once. All I'm askin' is that you trust me again. For Phillip's sake.
Coach: You know, this could mean my job.
Dr. Sam Beckett: This could mean his life.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] Leaping in and out of new situations has taught me to be prepared for the unusual. But I suddenly had the feeling I had left 'unusual' and landed smack-dab in the middle of 'bizarre'.

Capt. Cooper: You keep flyin' with black boxes, kid, you're gonna end up in one.

Bunny: Aw, shoot, we woke her. Come here, precious.
[Bunny reaches into the basket and pulls out baby Christie]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, boy!
Bunny: No, I told ya. It's a girl.

Nell: You promised to cook chitlins for the church picnic.
Sam: [narrating] I'd heard of chitlins, of course. I thought they were one of those rare Southern delicacies that taste as good as they sound... I never realized they were pig intestines. The smell was like something that had been kept around too long in autopsy class

[Sam has learned that Sammie Jo is actually his and Abigail's daughter]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] Now there were two people I had to save - Abigail and... our daughter, Sammie Jo. And even from her grave, Leta held the key.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] Despite all of Al's assurances, it wasn't easy finding food in this tropical paradise. After four hours of playing hide and seek with the crabs, I finally found something. Meanwhile, Vanessa found everything else.

Naomi: I'm just as shocked as y'all are!
Admiral: The only thing that'd shock her would be a cattle prod.

[in order to make their raft lighter, Sam is throwing out stuff from Vanessa's chest]
Dr. Sam Beckett: [hauling out a heavy box under Vanessa's protests] Oh, my God, what the heck is this? What is this?
Vanessa: Grandmama's sterling silver!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sunken treasure!
[he drops the box in the ocean, then picks up a golden urn]
Vanessa: NO! NO!
Dr. Sam Beckett: What, it's Grandmama's favorite vase?
Vanessa: No. Grandmama.

Sam: Come on, Al.
Nancy: Who's Al?
Sam: Uh, he's kind of my, uh, patron saint of hopeless causes.
Nancy: Hm, come on, Al. We need all the help we can get.

Admiral: Sam, I don't like things that fly around without wings.
[after a skull has flown through the room, apparently by itself]

Sam: [narrating] Spending the night as an astro-chimp wasn't as bad as it might seem. My bed was firm, the food was free, and the company was... more than friendly. The only thing I really needed was... a shave - over my entire body.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Terror, like the night, knows no boundaries.

Sam: How's Ziggy doing?
Al: Ziggy is still totally overamped trying to catch up. She still says history is changing.
Sam: How could history be changing? All I've been doing is dragging hundred-pound boxes up the longest flight of stairs in the history of the world, just so that Shirley can tell me to go back down and get some more, so that she and Frank can unpack together.
Al: Well, four airline crashes, an outbreak of Rangoon flu, three earthquakes and 17 floods.
Sam: All because I didn't bend my knees?
Al: Right. I think Ziggy has finally lost it.

Sister: You're telling me you're going to win tomorrow?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm damn well... Excuse me. I'm gonna try.
Sister: I would like to believe you, Cody. But I can't. I just don't think I can believe in anything anymore.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Then I don't have a prayer of winning.
Sister: What do you mean?
Dr. Sam Beckett: As long as you believed in me that I could win, I believed it. I mean, maybe that's all winning is, having the right person believe in you. Don't give up on me, Sister. Not if you want that castle.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Thanks.
Prostitute: Don't thank me. I probably would've killed all o' ye. And if my gumbo is ruined, I just might come back and finish the job.

[Sam has just had to perform in his play nude]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I've never been so totally and completely humiliated in my life!
Admiral: What are you complaining about? You should be proud. That audience was riveted!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, please.
Admiral: It was like they were watching... a car wreck. Like it was horrible, but you were too fascinated to look away.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Thank you. Thank you for your support!

Dr. Sam Beckett: How long have you been here?
Admiral: Long enough to see that you are a real Mensch.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Mensch?
Admiral: Mensch. Means... good guy. It's a word that my fourth wife... third, fourth - third or fourth wife, Ruthie, used to use. She never used it about me, though.

Al: You're not a prisoner of war.
Oswald: All members of the proletariat are prisoners in the class struggle.
Al: I thought you were a member of the Marine Corps.
Oswald: My status as a marine does not alter my membership in the exploited and oppressed class into which I was born.
Al: I was joking.
Oswald: I was not!
Al: Take it easy, kid. I'm on your side.
Oswald: Then I'm free to leave?
Al: Uh, no. Not exactly.
Oswald: Then I'm a prisoner.
Al: Okay, all right. You're a prisoner of the proletariat and...
Oswald: I'm a prisoner of the bourgeois and a *member* of the proletariat. You don't know your Marx, do you?
Al: [coldly] After six years in the Hanoi Hilton, I tend to repress it.
Oswald: Where?
Al: That's where I was held as a prisoner of war, and where they didn't give a damn about the Geneva Convention.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [to Al, about the hand prints Joseph has put on his horse] What are the hand prints for?
Joseph: For men killed in battle.
Joseph: [offering Sam the rock with paint on it] Go on.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh, well, I, er...
Joseph: Go on, Togo. I can see it in your eyes.

Admiral: According to Ziggy, the odds of the two of you getting a recording contract are a lousy 19-to-1.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, news flash: Ziggy has been wrong before. Right?
Admiral: Yeah, but in 1954, the world was just not ready for Sonny and Cher. As a matter of fact, the world was never ready for Sonny and Cher.

Dempsey: Sir, Magic says sappers crossing the river.
Col. Deke Grimwald: How the hell does he know that?
Navy Lt. Tom Beckett: Magic's got a sixth sense.
Al: Yeah, you could call me that.

Al: Don't tell me, let me guess, you've been invited to a costume party and you're going as a baked potato.

Al: She could have shot herself.
Sam: Where's the gun?
Al: Maybe it fell into the lake.
Sam: No, I don't think so.
Al: Why not?
Sam: If Hilla committed suicide, I wouldn't be here. The only thing that makes sense is that I'm here to find out who murdered her.

[his life in the 70's]
Sam: Great. I'm on the take, I wear polyester clothes and I live above a bar in an apartment decorated like a gym.

[Sam - as Eddie - has urged Cooper to fly to Bermuda, to get Michelle to a much-needed hospital]
Capt. Cooper: I know this pond, Eddie. Today is not the day to push into it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: If we don't, Michelle is gonna die.
Capt. Cooper: You really believe that, don't you?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Stake my life on it.
Capt. Cooper: No. You're stakin' all our lives on it.

Admiral: You know what? This, uh... this flapper is beginning to get on my nerves.
Angelita: Yes, well, he gives me the jeebie-beebies.
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's 'heebie-jeebies'.
Angelita: What?
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's 'He gives me the heebie-jeebies'.
Angelita: You too?
Angelita: [to Al] You see, you make us both sick.

Al: We got deep trouble here, Sam. The odds of my getting convicted are 92% now and they're going up.
Sam: Riker's testimony was devastating.
Al: Well, un-devastate it.
Sam: I think I will. I think I'll go find the killer.
Al: Well, what are you doing here then?
Sam: Standing trail under guard.
Al: God, 95%. Now they're 95%!
Sam: What does Bingo say about Saturday night?
Al: Same thing I said, of course. Met Lisa a-at the Sea Breeze Hotel, a-and that was before Marci disappeared from the "O"-Club.
[looks at handlink]
Al: Now there's a 96% chance I'm convicted. Ninety-seven - geez, ninety-eight! Ninety-nine!
Sam: For God's sake, stop it!
Edward St. John V: One hundred.
[Sam turns and sees a stranger standing in Al's place, holding the handlink]
Edward St. John V: Yes, there is a 100% certainty that Ensign Calavicci will be found guilty and executed in the gas chamber.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] Sometimes, my swiss-cheesed memory can play funny tricks on me. I knew from the sound that engine was making that the camshaft had a flat lobe, but I had no idea where the camshaft was or how to remove it. I felt like a newborn calf walking around its mother knowing that there's milk there, somewhere.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Clyde] I want to talk to you about what happened this morning.
Ada: Didn't nothin' happen this morning.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yes, it did. I'm talkin' about what Cody said. I'm sorry about that. It was wrong and...
Ada: It's not about wrong or right, Mr. Clyde. It's just the way things is.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, I don't believe that.
Ada: I know you don't, Mr. Clyde, you never did. But yours is just one voice speakin' in a hurricane.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, well... sometimes one voice is all you need.

Sam: [to Billy] Maybe you're right. Maybe your way is the best way of doin' things.
Al: What?
Sam: And I'm gonna help you.
Al: Sam, this isn't funny.
Sam: You got nothing to live for, right? You got rid of Carol; you've gone out of your way to make sure that nobody else around here gives a damn about you. What's one more body bag?

[Petra enters Sam's/Joe's dressing room, only covered with a towel]
Petra: Hi.
Admiral: [delighted] Ophelia!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Petra, hi. Oh!
[he accidentally drops his own towel]
Petra: [also dropping her towel and throwing herself onto Sam] Joe! Oh...
Jane: [entering with her family] Joe!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Jane?
Neil: Mom.
Jane: [leaving] Ted!
Ted: [following her] Uh, Jane...
Admiral: [still drooling] Ophelia.
Liz: Neil!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, boy.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Cherea] A prophet named Gibran once said, "Hold your children with open arms, and they will always know they can come home to you."
Reverend: No. No. Too much has gone on between us. She'll never forgive me for loving her the only way I knew how. I'll miss her, Cherea. I'll miss that angelic face of hers. I'll miss it. I'll never hear her sing again.

Joseph: Damn white men. Can't make anything but more white men.

[Al is giving Sam pointers on how to act as a rock star]
Admiral: Do Townshend.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Who?
Admiral: That's right.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What is?
Admiral: Who.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know.
Admiral: Townshend!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Who?
Admiral: Yeah, that's right. Pete Townshend of The Who!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Of the what?
Admiral: Agh, never mind.

Neil: [to Jane] Tonight, we'd like to take you someplace special.
Liz: Uh...
Neil: Your choice.
Liz: We want your fiftieth birthday to be one you won't forget.
Jane: Oh, boy.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Hmm, you can say that again.

Diane: [At the motel] Poor Baby. Did I work you over hard?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Gordon] I can take it!
Cashier: Aww. Honeymooners.

Chuey: [about winning the championship] I'll guarantee it.
Ruben: I only bet on sure things.
Chuey: It's a sure thing.
Ruben: Losing is a sure thing.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I read this book Nick's writing. That's why I know everything. It's not déjà vu.
Admiral: Another illusion shattered forever.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Nick and Alison loved each other but they were too loyal to Phil to do anything about it. Listen to this: "The heat between us was like a six-day jaunt in the Sahara, but out ties to Phil were as tight as the drunk on the corner stool."
Admiral: Not exactly Faulkner.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You can say that again. I think I'm here to find Phil's killer so that Allison and I can live happily ever after.
Admiral: Sam, don't you mean Allison and Nick?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, yeah, sure.
Admiral: Sam, you know, Allison could be the killer.
Dr. Sam Beckett: No.
Admiral: No? Why do you say no? Because "her body could part the Red Army?"
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, because we've got Klapper.
Admiral: Careful, Sam, there was no cure for that in 1953.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, Klapper is the dropper who shot Phil. At least that's the rumor.
Admiral: Yeah, but people hire droppers.
Dr. Sam Beckett: It wasn't Allison. But whoever it was is probably here in Nick's book. So, if you could just find me "Dead Men Don't Die".
Admiral: I doubt that it was published under that title.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Check under Nick Allen.
Admiral: Maybe he used a nom de plume. I would.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Just have Ziggy do it, okay? That's what computers are for. Just find me the rest of this book, because for the life of me, I can't remember how it ended.
Admiral: Well, it wasn't with Allison and Nick living happily ever after.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You read it?
Admiral: No, but if it ended like that, why would you be here?

Admiral: [in a striking red suit and hat] They must serve plenty of sweets in heaven.
Angelita: You're never gonna get there, so you're never gonna know.
Admiral: What do you mean? Why not?
Angelita: There's a dress code.

[Sam and Al are debating whether Moe is crazy or not]
Admiral: He's 65 years old. I mean, who in his right mind is gonna start riding the rails when he's 65?
Dr. Sam Beckett: You would - if there were a cute girl on board.
Admiral: Oh, uh, yeah, well, I would.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Where am I?
Admiral: Uh, you're in, uh, Burbank, California, April 1, 1976.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What, are you tellin' me I'm the butt of some cosmic April Fool's joke?

[Sam is a female secretary in 1961, and his boss is hitting on him]
Sam: This is sexual harassment!
Buddy: I don't know what that is, but I like the sound of it!

Lee: [looking at Sam's reflection in the mirror] I still don't get how you do this.
Admiral: Well, i-i-it is a little difficult to explain.
Lee: You think I'm too stupid to understand?
Admiral: Well, nobody understands it except Dr. Beckett.
Lee: Try me.
Admiral: Try you. Okay. Let's start with the string theory. What's the string theory?
Lee: String theory?
Lee: [in Sam's voice] It helped close the conceptual gulf between relativity and quantum mechanics. It postulates that subatomic particles are not points, but strings, about one Planck-length long. The rate at which strings vibrate can generate the properties of all known particles.
Lee: [in his own voice] Hmm? How did I know that?

Admiral: Well, if she's psychic, how come she doesn't know that she's gonna die?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know. I remember reading somewhere that, that psychics can foresee other people's deaths, but not their own.

Sam: I saw you die.
Alia: It was worse than death.

Miz: [Being attended] What are you doin'?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm just checkin' to see if you're all right.
Miz: Since when did you get a medical degree?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, I've done some doctoring in my time.
Miz: Well, I'll thank you to please keep your colored voodoo to yourself!

[Mrs. Reynolds is asleep in her wheelchair, which keeps spinning round and round...]
Norma: Mama, wake up. It's me, Norma Jean.
Millie: Norma Jean?
Norma: Yes.
Millie: What happened?
Norma: You fell asleep on your control stick again.
Millie: Oh, thank God. I dreamt I was caught in a tornado.

Al: We're making preparations for Tina's birthday party and she wants me to pop out of the cake. You'll never believe what she wants me not to wear.

Dr. Sam Beckett: That's an unusual tattoo, Sheriff.
Sheriff: Okay, you caught me. I'm really a warlock, and that's the sign of my coven.
Admiral: I knew it!
Sheriff: And I killed Dorothy and Tully because they were about to expose me.
Admiral: Grab him, Sam!
Dr. Sam Beckett: "That's interesting", to quote a sheriff I know.
Sheriff: Isn't it? Unless of course the real story is I got drunk one night on shore leave and almost had an Air Force tattoo put on my arm. Pretty embarrassing for a guy in the Navy.

Ziggy: Good evening, Admiral. Before we begin the profile scan, I'd like to take this opportunity to express my admiration for your selfless attempt to rescue Dr. Beckett. It is a fitting testimony to the bonding which humans tend to display toward others of their species. Unfortunately, I project a less than 34% chance of success.
Al: Well, thanks for the vote of confidence.

Dr. Sam Beckett: This is amazing!
Admiral: I'll tell you what's amazing. Your great-grandmother's name just happened to be Olivia Covington... Beckett.
Dr. Sam Beckett: No!
Admiral: Y-es!
Dr. Sam Beckett: No, no, n...
Admiral: Oh, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Your southern belle there is your sweetie, your bride-to-be, and your great-grandma all rolled in one. Ha-ha-ha!

[Sam has set himself up to get hanged with Nathaniel]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Because I don't want to live in a world where fear and hate... hide behind a call for justice. Where men, women and children, born as free as you and me, are denied, among other things, the right to vote. And if they try to do anything about it, you hang 'em. Or you blow 'em up in a church. They're so proud of what they're doin', these dispensers of justice, that they have to hide behind masks to do it. Cody. Cody, you look at me, son. This is not justice. This is merely a desperate attempt to hang on to the past, a shameful past, that can never and should never be restored. So go ahead. You hang us now. But you cannot stop the future. Because you cannot kill everyone who was here tonight. And they will never forget what they saw.

[repeated line]
Teresa: If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'.

Katie: Oh my God! If you really are from the future, you'd know if he's dead!
Sam: Chuck?
Katie: Paul McCartney. The White Album. If you play "Revolution Number Nine" backwards, the Beatles are singing "Paul is dead."
Sam: No. Paul's not dead. After the Beatles split up...
Katie: The Beatles split up?
Sam: Pretty soon, I think.
Katie: Oh God. Wait 'til I tell Elaine!
Sam: Paul forms this group called Wings and they come out with some really great tunes.
Katie: And John? What's John gonna do? He's my favorite.
Sam: [hesitantly] Uh, Katey... John...
Admiral: *Don't* tell her.

[Sam has asked Al to check out everything about Jack Stone]
Dr. Sam Beckett: What're you waiting for? Get going.
Admiral: I'm waiting to see if your head's gonna spin around.

Emma: I wanna stop feeling... like a non-person.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Just what I need - a lifetime job flying in the Bermuda Triangle.

Josh: Hey, Dad, look what I got! We got Kleenex, shoehorns, shower caps. I got towels, two bars of soap, sewing kits and last, but certainly not least, two rolls of toilet paper!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Where'd you get all that stuff?
Josh: I raided the maid's cart.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You can't steal from the maid!
Josh: Why not? You taught me how to do it.

Sam: You're not gonna believe this. We just found the tomb of King Ptah-Hotep II. It's incredible- Go inside, go inside... Incredible!
Al: Well, Ziggy says it's unbelievable, because this has never been reported.
Sam: Then I didn't just forget about it?
Al: Well, no. As of 1999, it's never even been discovered, ever.

Lorraine: You know, I always wished we'd gone to Hawaii. They've got some great lounges there. We could have found one, settled down, bought a little place on the beach...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Paid a zillion dollars for it.
Lorraine: And lived happily in debt ever after.

Zoey: I am here on borrowed time.
Thames: You are here until you finish what you are supposed to do.
Zoey: I have a 48-hour window after my first leap to get home. After that, with every leap, the percentage drops!

Admiral: I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, but we're making preparations for Tina's birthday, and she wants me to pop up out of the birthday cake. Uh, you'll never believe what she wants me to not wear.

[Sam embodies Frank, a dashing hairdresser, who is very popular with his female clientele]
Mimi: How's the girlfriend?
Dr. Sam Beckett: She's great.
Mimi: Pity.

Alia: Sam? Sam! Sam...
Sophie: Sam? If you're yellin' for a three-letter savior, I suggest you make it start with a 'G'.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Unbelievable! I've leaped into The Addams Family.

Olivia: You and I being so different and all, I... I was wondering whether a man like you could ever love a woman like me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, I think... that a man like me is gonna love a woman like you very, very much.

Norma: Are you still mad about last night?
Sam: Mad? No. I was just kidnapped, held at gunpoint, and knocked unconscious. What's there to be mad about?

Al: Women - you can't trust 'em. They don't understand the double standard.

Al: I've been doin' some checking. It turns out that Miller went on and had three sons. And the oldest one followed in the old man's footsteps. Eh... Sorry.

Ralph: Let me make it simple for you. Things are damn tough here in Clover Bend. But the folks, well, we're tough too. We can take just about anything the good Lord dishes out, so long as we look it square in the eye. You get my meaning?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Billy] So you don't want me raisin' false hopes with all this rain talk. Is that it?
Ralph: The drought's dried up a lot more than soil around here, Billy. It's dried up a lot of soul, most of 'em, and it ain't gonna take a whole lot of your hot air to blow us all away.

Jennifer: Kate, after this is all over, would it be all right if I married Phillip?

Sam: What is she doing in Syracuse?
Al: I bet a lot people ask themselves that question.

Admiral: I was talking to the real Marty. I think I found a new idol.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Idol? Al. The guy's a bigamist!
Admiral: I know. I know, but think about it. If I had tried that, I could've... I could've gone through ten wives instead of five!

[first lines]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about - making the right choice at the right time.

Dr. Ruth: I'm sorry to say, I'm very disappointed in you, Al.
Al: You're disappointed in me?
Dr. Ruth: You say this is the future. I thought by now, people like you would have a healthier attitude towards sex.
Al: I have a very healthy attitude towards sex.
Dr. Ruth: I think you have a problem.
Al: With all due respect, Dr. Ruth, when it comes to women, Al Calavicci doesn't have any problems.
Dr. Ruth: I think you are afraid of something.
Al: You're right: alimony.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Knut speaking to Duck and Elisabeth] Look, I lost a brother in Vietnam, all right? So don't tell me I don't care!

Sam: Nobel prize in physics, I'm fighting to keep my diaper on. What's next?
[he gets splashed with some kind of pulp - by Cory, who grimaces at Sam]
Dr. Leslie Ashton: [laughing] Cory, stop flirting with Bobo!
Sam: I'm sorry I asked.

Sam: Al, I'm a chimp!
Al: You're lucky you didn't leap in as a bullfrog.

Admiral: [about a girl called Denise] I met her at a party. She's got the most incredible pair of...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, Al, you're in a church.
Admiral: Oh, uh, of, uh, matching boxing gloves.

Steve: Nice to meet you, Harry. Caught the end of your act. Really enjoyed it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, well, tha-, uh, thanks.
Maggie: Yeah, you're really great with all that illusion stuff. You're good!
Jamie: [to Maggie] Could never top your disappearing act.

Al: Oh, well, almost all animals can see me. But you know, there must be something weird lookin' about me, because I seem to intimidate them.
Sam: Maybe it's your clothes.

Sam: Oh, my God. I'm home. I'm home, Al.

[about Al]
Sam: At last, something sexual he's NOT into.

Al: [to Sam] Ain't that a kick in the butt? You leaped into me, as a kid.

[Al has just told Sam that he has to fly an experimental aircraft in order to leap]
Sam: There's got to be another way.
Al: The next one's only got a 52% chance of working.
Sam: I'll take it!
Al: It requires you to be at ground zero during an atomic detonation.
[Sam frowns]
Al: You asked.
Sam: What else have you got?
Al: This isn't a shopping list, you know.
[consults handlink]
Al: The odds drop into the low teens after that. Your best shot is freezing the brain until all electrical activity has ceased.
Sam: That's called *death*.
Al: I never said it would be easy. You want a sure thing? I got it for you. You don't do anything, you just live. Barring accidental death or a fatal disease, you'll be back in forty years. That's your safest option.
Sam: And Tom Stratton?
Al: He'll go on living forward from where he's at now. Technically, he could end up the oldest man alive.
Sam: Well, what about Peg and Mikey? I don't want to hurt them, but I can't go on pretending I'm Tom.
Al: Hey, they were going to lose him on Monday anyway. Of course, if you bust Mach 3 and survive, they could have him around for another thirty or forty years.
Sam: I can't fly!
Al: I'll be your co-pilot.
Sam: You're a hologram.
Al: I'm also an ex-astronaut. The hardest part about flying is taking off and landing. The B-50 does the first part of that for you. After that, you just fire a couple of rockets, hang onto the stick and ka-za-zoom! Mach 3.
Sam: And the second part?
Al: Landing?
[shakes head]
Al: You could *never* land the X-2, not even with my help. So, you don't.
Sam: I eject.
Al: [nods] X-2 does a crash and burn. You float back to earth on a pillow silk. The moment you touch down, you leap forward, Tom leaps back and the broad and I are gone to Las Vegas!
Sam: It could work.
Al: Of course it will work.
Sam: A minute ago, you said it was crap.
Al: That was before I thought it out.

Admiral: [of the Devil] Sam, uh, Ziggy... says that there's... definitely something there.
The: [looking at Al] That's more than I can say for you.

Dr. Sam Beckett: When I was growing up, Halloween was always one of my favorite holidays. "Trick or treat", we used to say. Of course, back then we always expected a treat, and if we did play a trick, it was always funny and harmless. But tonight there were no treats. There were no tricks. There was only death.

Admiral: Look what I picked up this morning.
Dr. Sam Beckett: The girl or the car?
Admiral: Both. I met her at the car auction. She offered to wax my hood.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, she looks like she does good work.

Emma: There're other women like me, and, and we're all sick of... Oh, we're sick of shopping and making brownies for a living. I'm sorry, but... I don't have an orgasm waxing the damn kitchen floor!

[Sam is feeding Chopin, the seeing-eye dog]
Admiral: Gee, this dog eats better than I do.
Dr. Sam Beckett: This dog works harder than you do.

[repeated line - season 2]
Narrator: Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM LEAP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Beckett, prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own time was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al, the Project Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Beckett could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next leap will be the leap home.

Sam: It's easy to die, Billy.

[Al has been knocked unconscious by Clifford]
Sam: Come on, Al, you gotta wake up!
Ziggy: I just explained, Doctor. Admiral Calavicci cannot regain consciousness for another 8.7...
Sam: Damn it, Ziggy, tell me somethin' I don't know!
Ziggy: Tina's having an affair with Gushie.
Sam: A way to save Al and Suzanne!
Ziggy: Stop Clifford from pushing the car over the cliff.
Sam: How? He's in 1945, I'm in 1999.
Ziggy: I didn't say it was easy.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [picking up a picture frame from Margaret's desk] Who-who-who is this? Is this your husband?
Margaret: Yes.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Where is he?
Margaret: He died of a heart attack.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh. I'm-I'm sorry to hear that. He looks like a very fine... man.
Margaret: He used to dress up in my underwear and pretend he was Judy Garland.

Billy: Oh, boy.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [telling Isaac about future prospects] In about two years, the North is gonna win this war. Things are gonna be bad for a while, but everything's gonna change. Blacks... Negroes are gonna get to vote. They're gonna get jobs, good jobs.
Isaac: That's crazy talk.
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's truth. I swear it, Isaac. It's gonna be a long, hard fight for schooling, and other equality. But believe me. There will come a time when everyone will have the same rights. Everyone will be free.
Isaac: That ain't nothin' but a dream.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Believe in it, Isaac.

Admiral: If it really gets desperate and they start charging up on stage, and they're gonna rip your clothes off, you stick your tongue out as far as you can and you wiggle it...
[shows Sam how]
Admiral: Like that.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sticking my tongue out is gonna make them stop from ripping my clothes off?
Admiral: No, no, that'll make them start ripping their clothes off. Then you can take the guitar and you can smash it to pieces. That always gets 'em!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, with my luck, they're gonna want an encore, and I'm not gonna have a guitar...
Admiral: Don't worry, Sam, just go out there and cut loose. I'm gonna be with you the whole time.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, that, that's very comforting...
Admiral: Look, if worse comes to worse... do Milli Vanilli.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Who?
Admiral: That's what I suggested at first!

Dr. Sam Beckett: Look, I-I'm not trying to be a writer. I'm just... I'm just trying to tell you that... your life can be so wonderful, if you let it. You've gotta hang on to it with everything you've got.
Marilyn: What's gotten into you?
Dr. Sam Beckett: People adore you.
Marilyn: "Adore". That's great if you're some kind of a stone statue.
Dr. Sam Beckett: No. No. Look, that's not what I meant. People really care about you. You're one of the most loved people in the world. Ever.
Marilyn: Then why can't I feel it?

Admiral: Ziggy says that since Sammie Jo is carrying your genes, and now that you cleared Abigail, the curse is broken. Um, Abigail gets married in two years to a wonderful guy, and they move to Chicago. And she's happy, Sam. She's really happy.
Dr. Sam Beckett: How do you know all this?
Admiral: Sammie Jo told me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sammie Jo?
Admiral: Sammie Jo is working with us on Project Quantum Leap, Sam.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What?
Admiral: Yes. As a matter of fact, she has a theory on how to bring you back home.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Does she know I'm her father?
Admiral: No. And Ziggy says that after this leap, you won't know either.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'll know, Al. I'll always know.

Sam: So, Stawpah was here?
Al,: I remember him.
Sam: Why don't they?
Al,: That's the way it is.
Sam: "That's the way it is"? One moment he-he's one of them, and the next, he's just a memory, and all you can say is, "That's the way it is"?
Al,: Sometimes, "That's the way it is" is the best explanation.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know w-what to do, I-I... I want her. I want her so bad, it's killing me. I can't think about anything else, except ho-holding her and-and touching her and tasting her and smelling her. I feel like she b-belongs to me. And tha-that's all that m-matters.
Admiral: What matters is that you are Sam Beckett. That's the reason that you got this crazy job.
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's not fair.
Admiral: All right, it's not fair! It's not fair! Life isn't fair. Who ever said it was fair?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Oh, don't s-stand there and tell me that life isn't f-fair, Al.
Admiral: You're here to save Abagail. You saved her once before. You've got to do it again. That's it!
Dr. Sam Beckett: W... Why me?
Admiral: Because you're a hero.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Even heroes are h... human.

Joseph: Lesson number two: don't mess with Indians.
[after Sam has knocked out the Sheriff]

Admiral: Don't you do anything that I wouldn't do. But if you do, take pictures.

Admiral: You should see this guy Corrington, Sam. He's, he's a first-class flesh eater. He's got all the classic signs. He's got the pale complexion, the beady eyes, the lustful stare.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al? You just described yourself.

[Al tells Sam that MacKay will soon vanish]
Dr. Sam Beckett: What happens?
Admiral: I don't know, he was never seen again. In Italian, we say he's probably sleeping with the fishes. But of course there's no fishes in, in Las Vegas, so he's probably sleepin' with the scorpions or sleepin' with the cen-centipedes or sleepin' with the... the rattlesnakes...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Okay, I got the picture.

Abagail: Daddy?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah?
Abagail: Tell me all the ways that you love me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, I love you like... the... stars love the sky. Like the... sea loves the... sand. Like the flowers love the bees.
Abagail: I love you, Daddy.

[Sam is on a Marine target range, taking his marksmanship test]
Sam: [narrating] I was a pretty good shot on the farm. Bagged my share of squirrels with a .22 and deer with a .30-06. But that was long ago and not at five hundred yards.

Admiral: George is from a generation that was taught that women have a place, and men have a place, and never the twain shall meet.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yes, well, if that's the system, then take it from somebody on this side in a, in a dress, okay? It should crash and burn!

Angelita: I am an angel.
Admiral: All right, if you were an angel, where's your halo, under your hat?
Angelita: You're the devil, but I don't see no horns.
Dr. Sam Beckett: One for the angel.
Admiral: But she doesn't look anything like an angel. Er, angels are lighter.
Angelita: I got stuck in limbo too long. I got hungry.

Tim: Pop? You are the original space cadet.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [chuckles] If you only knew.

Al: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 'Oops! It was an accident! I accidentally killed everybody. Haw haw. Now I'm stuck with this secret load of secret treasure. Oh, I'm going to have to give up my measley, poor-paying professorship and go somewhere and live a life of ease and luxury somewhere else. Ha ha.' Give her an Oscar and let's get the hell outta here.

Al: Their only desire is for you to pamper them, and play with their...
Sam: Al!
Al: With their hair! Their hair!

Sam: Where the hell were you?
Al: I was at the Laker game. It went into overtime.
Sam: A ball game? I nearly died because you were at a ball game?
Al: It wasn't just a ball game. It was a play-off game. At the party later, I met this dish named Martha.
Sam: I guess I can thank God you didn't spend the night with this Martha.
Al: Well, I did.

Al: Leon, I know you're confused. But the truth is, you don't belong here.
Leon: What, is this some kind of dream or something?
Al: No, it's not a dream. I came to take you back, Leon.
Leon: Back to where?
Al: Back to 1958. There was a mix-up in an experiment, and accidentally, you traveled forty years into the future. You traded places with a friend of mine, who's stuck back in '58!
Leon: You think I'm stupid?
Al: Would I make up a story like this?
Leon: People don't just jump into other people's lives!
Al: Well, my friend does.

[Diana has suggested a violent confrontation against the male society]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I understand that you cannot match strength in a physical confrontation.
Diana St. Cloud: Unless we fight, nothing will change.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Fine. Fine, then fight them in the boardrooms, not in a street brawl. You wanna make a change? Take a lesson from Gandhi.
Admiral: Or King.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Or Martin Luther King. You go out and start a riot, and people will only notice what's wrong about you. But you state your beliefs in an orderly fashion, and people will notice what's wrong about the system.

[Sam and Al still haven't found out who the father of Billy Jean's baby is]
Dr. Sam Beckett: There's gotta be somebody who can help me, Al!
Admiral: Well, you tried your father, you tried... Dotty. There's... who? There's nobody else.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Nobody except the father of this baby. Only God knows where he is.
Effy: [walking in] Willis is probably walking home from work about now.
Admiral: Out of the mouths of babes.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [Speaking as Magic to Grady about The Brush] He shouldn't have done that to Alberta.

Greg: I was going to marry her. We were going to elope the night she died.
Roger: I don't believe it.
Sam: Neither do I. Hilla broke it off with you.
Greg: No, she didn't.
Sam: On the 4th of July, she told you she loved someone else. You fought and she ended it between you.
Greg: Who told you that?
Sam: Hilla... in her diary.
Greg: No, it wasn't me, not that weekend. I was at a tournament in Boston.
Lyle: That's right. The kid won. Brought back a real big trophy.
Greg: Whoever she broke it off with, it wasn't me. We just started dating each other around that time.

Dr. Sam Beckett: You ever hear of Jimi Hendrix?
Tim: Who's he? Some old big-band guy?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [laughs] No, not actually. If you ever get a chance to hear him play, you c... Wait. You will actually - within the year.
Tim: Yeah? Where's he playing?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Woodstock.
Tim: [laughs] Oh, right. There's nothing up there but farms, Pop. Who's gonna listen, the cows?

Admiral: Tea? Not coffee?
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm making some tea. Tea. T-E-A tea. Tea, tea, tea. I don't like coffee, I like tea... Does drinking tea make me any less of a man than somebody who drinks coffee? I mean, is every tea-drinker in the entire history of the world gay to you? Is that it? What about the Boston Tea Party? Was that like some kind of a gay boat festival or something?

[Sam and Susan are working non-stop to help riot victims]
Dr. Sam Beckett: You OK?
Susan: No sleep, no food - I feel like a doctor. It's great!

[Sam is Captain Miller, a Vietnam veteran who has lost both his legs]
Commander: You're a lucky man, Ron.
Sam: Lucky?
Commander: Statistically speaking. Do you know what the combat survival rate was in World War II? 71 percent. In Korea, 74. You wanna know what it is now? 85 percent, Ron. American technology - that's the key to victory.

Kevin: [Kevin admitting for the first time he's a virgin] I don't know what to do.

Abigail: I remember that day Violet disappeared so clear. And yet, sometimes I feel... Well, everyone else was so sure. Maybe I remembered what I wanted. Maybe...
Dr. Sam Beckett: [narrating] I wanted to hold her. Tell her, 'You're not crazy. You didn't kill anyone.' But I wanted more. With Abagail, I always wanted more.

Al,: Why did you create Project Quantum Leap, Sam?
Sam: To travel in time.
Al,: Why did you want to travel through time?
Sam: Because... I w... I-I wanted to, um...
Al,: To make the world a better place?
Sam: Of course. To make the world a better place.
Al,: To put right what once went wrong?
Sam: Yes. But not one life at a time.
Al,: Ugh! I got Mother Teresa here. Do you really think that all you've done is change a few lives?
Sam: Basically, yes.
Al,: At the risk of over-inflating your ego, Sam, you've done more. The lives you've touched, touched others. And those lives, others! You've done a lot of good, Sam Beckett. And you can do a lot more.

Admiral: You gonna be all right?
Dr. Sam Beckett: [quoting loosely from "Man of La Mancha"] What matter wounds to the body of knight-errants? For each time he falls, he shall rise again and woe to the wicked! Al...
Admiral: Here, Your Grace.
Dr. Sam Beckett: My armor, my sword.
Admiral: More misadventures?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Adventures, old friend.

[Dr. Ashton has discovered that Dr. Winger is performing head impact research on chimps]
Dr. Leslie Ashton: How many chimps have you killed testing helmets?
Dr. Frank Winger: Doctor, do you know how many test pilots we lost at Edwards?
Dr. Leslie Ashton: No.
Dr. Frank Winger: One in four. If there'd been better helmets and protective equipment, maybe some of those men might be alive today. And besides, what are you getting on me for? You test chimps.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: The chimp research in Project Mercury is not lethal.
Dr. Frank Winger: Well, how do you know they won't die of G forces or, or burn up on re-entry?
Dr. Leslie Ashton: We don't know for sure, but we're doing our best to insure their safety.
Dr. Frank Winger: To insure the safety of the astronauts.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: Right.
Dr. Frank Winger: Well, that's what I'm trying to do for the pilots.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: But bashing chimps and trying to extrapolate to humans won't show you anything. In the Cameroons, I saw chimps fall from over fifty feet from trees, land on their heads and walk away. A man could die falling off a six-foot ladder.
Dr. Frank Winger: The neurological structure of a chimp's brain is just a miniature version of a human's.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: But the frontal supraorbital ridges of his skull are two times thicker than ours. If you want to study human head trauma, study it in a human.
Dr. Frank Winger: Well, that would be irresponsible.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: Oh, and it's not irresponsible to kill a chimp?
Dr. Frank Winger: Doctor, you're getting very emotional here.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: No, Doctor, I'm being rational and scientific.
Dr. Frank Winger: 'Doctor', is that an MD or is that a vet's degree?
Dr. Leslie Ashton: I got my degree from the Royal Veterinary College and my PhD in animal behavior from London University.
Dr. Frank Winger: And mine is an MD with eight years of training at Harvard, specializing in neurology. I know neurotrauma.
Dr. Leslie Ashton: And I know chimpanzees.

[Vanessa has asked Sam about one very bright star]
Dr. Sam Beckett: That's not a star, that's a planet. That's Venus. Named for the goddess of love, born from the sea. A reminder to all men's souls that... true love is the only love worth having.
Vanessa: That's really beautiful.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, it is.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Leaping about in time, I've suffered some humiliation and abuse. But I can't recall anything as horrible as being forced to sit at the children's table.

Frankie: [performing her own routine] I was harassed by the police, and all I was doing was walking my little poodle -... - Yeah, my little poodle, her name was Tis, and, oh, she was the cutest little teacup you ever did see. Well, I let her off her leash to use the, uh... Well, to go to the, uh... You know. Out of nowhere comes this big old black cat, and it races by, and Tis - boom! - takes off into the bushes, right after her.
Dr. Sam Beckett: This is a sad story.
Frankie: Yeah, well, I go into the bushes and lookin' for her. Of course, though, I wasn't, uh, naked. -... - But I was just, er, comin' out of those bushes, right about the corner, and I was callin' my dog, when all of a sudden, this policeman comes up to me, and he grabs me, and he arrests me, and he hauls me in front of the judge!
Dr. Sam Beckett: What for?
Mack: For steppin' on his act.
Frankie: No, No, No. For soliciting with the purpose of prostitution.
Mack: Well, it doesn't surprise me.
Frankie: Well, it surprised me, I mean, I wasn't. I was just standin' on the corner callin' my dog, sayin', "Here, Tis! Here, Tis!"

Dr. Sam Beckett: Clint!
Clinton: Yeah!
Dr. Sam Beckett: "Someday" is here!

Admiral: I told you! The lead is Flash! He's the killer, and he doesn't wanna kill you about his songs, he wants to kill you because of that girl, that Sandy!
Dr. Sam Beckett: Al, you've been certain about three different people!
Admiral: Yeah, but this time I'm REALLY certain! And now you don't have to know who to look for, because it's definitely HIM! Or... Dwayne. Or, or... Philip.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You done?
Admiral: Definitely.

Admiral: Things do happen after concerts.
[after Philip has told Sam that he - i.e. Tonic - is his father]

Dr. Sam Beckett: [of Angela] I ran over her today.
Admiral: Over?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yes.
Admiral: Wha... What, you mean with your cab?
Dr. Sam Beckett: It was an accident. I...
Admiral: Well, I wasn't assuming that you did it on purpose. Although, come to think of it, considering her attitude...

Admiral: [appearing] Sam!
Angelita: Oh, look what the pig dragged in.
Dr. Sam Beckett: It's 'cat'.
Angelita: You never lived in Puerto Rico.

Sam: It was August the 8th, 1953 - literally the day I was born. But instead of nursing at my mother's breast, I was nursing my third beer in a vain attempt to make some sense out of this bizarre leap.

Admiral: Ziggy says, this whole thing is gonna be a catastrophe.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Ziggy should have a little more faith in human nature.
Admiral: Ziggy says, that's the problem.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Nobody knows what the future holds. I could be dead tomorrow. Or we could live together for the next 50 years. Take a chance.

Sam: The lightning strike could've been misread by Ziggy as a catastrophic collapse of the radium accelerator ring surrounding the imaging chamber. Ziggy would've automatically sealed the chamber to protect the project from radium radiation.
Admiral: But when they realize that the ring didn't collapse, then they're gonna open the door!
Sam: Well, see, once the door has been sealed, it can't be reopened by Ziggy until the radiation half-life of the radium ring has... expired.
Admiral: Why do I feel this is gonna be a big number?
Sam: Well, no, no, not in cosmic terms. See, it's, it's, uh... 1,600 years.

[Sam has told Vivian the truth about himself, Alia and Zoey traveling in time]
Vivian: This better be a flashback of some drug I did in the '60s.

Dr. Sam Beckett: What, what happened?
Admiral: Huh? What d'you mean?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Did somebody die?
Admiral: Did somebody d... Oh, oh, you mean my suit. Oh. No. No. I have to make a court appearance. My third wife is suing me... No. Fourth? Fifth? My fourth wife is suing me for more alimony payments, and the lawyer says it'd be better if I appeared a little...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Grown up.
Admiral: [sarcastic] No, boring.

Vanessa: This is so unfair!
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Nikos] Trust me. You could not handle fair.
Vanessa: Yeah? Just try me.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You eat what you find. I'll eat what I find. How's that for fair?

Debbie: ...Three days later you said you had the jitters. You stopped performing, remember?
Al: Oh, this sounds juicy.
Doug: What exactly do you mean by "performing"?
Debbie: Do I have to spell it out for you? The cork on the champagne bottle wouldn't pop.
Doug: Uh-huh.
Debbie: The thrusters weren't thrusting.
Doug: Oh, really?
Debbie: There was no lift-off!
Sam: Could we change the subject, please?
Doug: No, please, let her go ahead. I think there's a couple in the next room who didn't hear about my thrusters!
Al: Not so good, Sam.
Sam: What am I supposed to do?
Doug: Get her a bullhorn. She can announce it from the Chrysler Building: "Doug's rocket didn't launch!"

[from reading in his diary, Sam has found out that his character is in love with Tess]
Al: Uh-oh.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh-oh what?
Al: Well, uh, there's a 97% probability that someone who's been sending her love letters will marry Tess.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, uh, then I'm okay, because this is a diary. It's not love letters.
Al: Don't fight it, Sam. You're here to marry this cowboy. Uh, boy-girl. Cowgirl. Girl.

Kyle: Why'd he shoot Phil? He was a nice man.
Dr. Sam Beckett: [as Frank] Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

Lee: I admire the president very much.
Admiral: You admire him, but you're gonna kill him.
Lee: That's what this is about! You're Secret Service and you're detaining me because you think I'm going to shoot the president.
Admiral: I KNOW you're gonna shoot the president. What I want to know is, are you acting alone?
Lee: I don't even own a gun!
Admiral: You own a 6.5mm Mannlicher-Carcano rifle and an S&W .38 special. The rifle is wrapped in a blanket at Ruth Paine's house, and the pistol is at your rooming house at 1026 North Beckley. You ordered both of these guns through the mail under the alias of Alex J. Hidell.
Lee: Marina! She told you these lies!
Admiral: Marina told me nothing. But, when questioned, she'll talk about the shot you took at General Walker. And she'll talk about locking you in the bathroom when Nixon came to Dallas because she was afraid that you were going to try and shoot him too!
Lee: I... I want a lawyer.
Admiral: There's no lawyer here, there's just you and me and the truth.
Lee: I know my rights. I-I'm a member of the ACLU and I have to...
Admiral: [grabs Oswald's shirt and pulls him close] You're going to shoot the president from the sixth floor window of the Texas schoolbook depository!
Lee: You're crazy!
Admiral: You're damn right I'm crazy.
[pulls a gun out of his back pocket]
Admiral: I'm crazy enough to blow your brains out through your ear if I don't get the truth!
[...]
Lee: I don't believe in killing someone just because I disagree with their politics!
Admiral: Are you acting alone?
Lee: I-I want a lawyer.
[Al pulls the trigger right next to Oswald's ear]
Lee: I'M DEAF! I'M DEAF!
Admiral: You're gonna be dead in a minute if you don't tell me the truth!
Lee: Okay, Okay. Just don't hurt me. I'm not gonna shoot the president.
[Al grabs his shirt again]
Lee: But, I know who is.
Admiral: Who?
Lee: Hidell. The guy who ordered the guns through the mail. He's the one who...
[changes to Sam's voice]
Lee: I'm lying Al.
Admiral: Sam.
Lee: [in Sam's voice] There is no conspiracy. I'm acting alone; and you've got to stop me.
Admiral: But I-I can't reach you, Sam. He's taken over completely.
Lee: [in Sam's voice] You have to. You have to. Or it's gonna happen all over again. You have to find...
[he changes back to Oswald's voice]
Lee: ...Hidell. Find Alik J. Hidell. That's the man who's gonna shoot the president.

[Sam is in a cage eating a banana, while Cory, the chimp in the next cage, reaches for it]
Sam: Uh-uh. I'm sorry. I'm hungry, okay? Sue me.
[Cory purses her lips at Sam]
Sam: No, thanks, I'm not in the mood. I'm sorry.
Al: Well, I think she is, Sam. I think she likes youuu.

[Sam has just leaped into Davey, one half of the comedy duo Parker & MacKay, who are performing one of their stand-up routines]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Well, this-this cop said that...
Mack: Yeah, he was haulin' you in.
Dr. Sam Beckett: He was haulin' me in, and, and I was...
Mack: Naked.
Dr. Sam Beckett: ...na-k-ked. And, uh...
Mack: You were, you were holding the sheep. And then you said...
Dr. Sam Beckett: "Oh, boy"?

Sam: [examining his face] God!
Al,: What?
Sam: I've got white hair.
Al,: Just a little. You know, you really should look in the mirror more often.
Sam: Look at these crow's feet!
Al,: When's the last time you took a really good look at yourself?
Sam: It's been a while.
Al,: Well, you let too much time go by, you could lose touch with reality.

[Lonnie has taken Susan hostage, but after releasing her, he is shot by a police sniper]
Susan: No! He let me go! He let me go!

Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know how to run track, Al.
Admiral: Oh. Well, you just, you pump... Look, you pump your arms and you pump your legs, and then you drive through the tape.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You were a runner, too?
Admiral: No, but it sounds good, dunnit?

Marilyn: I read somewhere, in Africa, or Asia, that when someone saves your life, they're responsible for you for as long as you live.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, but, um, this is California.
Marilyn: [snaps her fingers] That's where it was!

Admiral: Sam! Sam! You'll never guess who's in the Waiting Room: Elvis Presley. Huh, you're him, and he's you.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I know I'm him and he's me. -... - Tell you one thing I would like to know, though, is what the heck I'm doin' here.
Admiral: Well, Ziggy's working on it, but, uh, she's working with diminished capacity because she's starstruck.

[Sam has the theory that Allison and Seymour are going to be killed by Klapper]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I don't know, Al, it just seems like... the most logical explanation.
Admiral: A more logical one is that Allison is Klapper. You want to have safe sex with her, you'd better wear a bullet proof vest.

[Sam has just fallen off the hood of a driving car]
Mike: Just what the hell kind of stunt was that?
Sam: I don't know.
Frank: He must've landed on his head. Lucky it's empty.

Dr. Sam Beckett: She's alive. She's alive. Abagail... is alive. There-there was a... fire and a w-window and... s-she got out, and I... didn't. But I'm alive. I'm alive and I'm-I'm back here as W-W... Will Kinman. Why? Why am I b-back here? This does not make any sense at all.
Admiral: What doesn't make any sense at all? To whom are you talking? People are gonna think you're cuckoo, walkin' around like this.

Admiral: Sam, you're not being objective.
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm a scientist.
Admiral: Scientists are objective. You're not being objective.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Are you kidding? If all scientists were objective, we wouldn't have the lightbulb. I mean, we never would have even landed on the moon.
Admiral: This is '66. You got three years before you go to the moon.
Dr. Sam Beckett: And I would not be traveling around in time. You gotta have the dream first, Al. Great scientists are never objective, and that's why people always think that they're loony. Which is exactly what they think about Max.

[Sam, as Oswald, is trying to defect to the Soviet Union, but he has no information to give them. The KGB director simply thinks he is hesitant]
Maj. Kosenko: Once, my father, as a punishment for a menial infraction which I can't remember, made me stand naked on the boat dock behind our house. I was, uh, ten - old enough to be embarrassed had anyone witnessed my nakedness. But there was no one, because only my father was crazy enough to winter with his family on a lake inside the Arctic Circle. Yes, it was winter, the water was frozen two meters deep, and the snow came up to the nipples on my chest. The frostbite took two toes on my right foot, one on my left, and I missed most of the spring recuperating from pneumonia. Despite that, and other punishments I received at his hand as a child, I still loved the bastard. After all, he was my father. Our native lands are like that. No matter how abusive, how oppressive, how unjust their treatment, we have this patriotic, almost biological need to love them. It is only when we attain our political maturity, we realize that no matter how traitorous our actions may seem in our native country, the betrayal is theirs. It's not ours.
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] My name... is Lee Harvey Oswald. In the Marine Corps, my serial number was 1653230. My MOS: 6741, aviation electronics operator. My first duty assignment was with Macs-1 in Atsugi, Japan. I arrived there on September the 12th, 1957...

Sam: [Thinking at the family dinner table] They'd lost a son. This family was being torn apart because no one wanted to deal with Danny's death.

Dr. Sam Beckett: How you feelin' today anyway?
Marilyn: Who, me?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah.
Marilyn: Just wonderful. It's a beautiful day, a new house, champagne... Who needs a life?

Libby: Damn it. This isn't real. Rape doesn't happen to my family, it happens to strangers on the news. Not to my sister. I'll go pay this. Not to my sister.
[she leaves]
Sam: But it did.

Shumway: I hate hospitals, personally. All that blood.
Sam: I imagine you get used to it in your line of work.
Shumway: Yeeh... Not if you keep your eyes closed.

[Suzanne has just explained her devotion to the man Al has leapt into, even after she thought he was dead]
Admiral: [thinking] Take a hike, Mr. Morals. Calavicci is takin' over.

[after Bunny's talent show act ends, Al pops in behind the bar]
Al: Uh, why is everyone applauding?
[Sam chuckles]
Al: Did I miss something?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Bunny just stripped for gas money.
Al: So, she stripped. What do you mean- she *stripped*? She stripped and I missed it? Sam, I'm supposed to be the observer on this project. I should've been here to observe it.

Gushie: If Dr. Beckett leaped into Oswald to uncover the conspiracy, then doing nothing is an effective course of action.
Admiral: How the hell do you figure that?
Gushie: Whether Dr. Beckett is himself or Lee Harvey Oswald is immaterial. Either way, you'll be there to observe. To watch the sixth floor window, the grassy knoll, the railroad overpass. You'll see it all! You'll know the truth!
Admiral: But I won't be able to stop it.
Gushie: I realize that, Admiral, but you yourself said that wasn't what Dr. Beckett was leaped back to do.
Admiral: Well, what if I was wrong? What if that's precisely the reason that Sam was leaped back?
Gushie: Then Oswald would have to be the sole assassin.
Admiral: That's right.
Gushie: No conspiracy?
Admiral: No. Just one angry, envious man who-who wanted to propel himself into infamy.
Gushie: But one lone man?
Admiral: I know, it's more comforting to believe in plots, because if Kennedy could be killed that easily by one sicko, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Dr. Sam Beckett: Al might call it puppy love, but I knew it had been something more. You get over puppy love.

[Sam and Vanessa are fighting over the wedding veil]
Dr. Sam Beckett: We need a veil to catch the fish in!
Vanessa: Look- lookit! I'm telling you. You threw away my favorite shoes, you used my wedding dress as a sail. You are NOT going fishing with my grandmama's veil!
Dr. Sam Beckett: I won't tell her if you don't.

Neil: You did it, didn't you? You saved us again. Pop would be so proud. God, what a disappointment I must have been. I... I never could be what he wanted. I never could be you.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Neil, it's all right.
Neil: I tried to do the right things. I never wanted to be head of the family. I've ruined... everything he built.
Dr. Sam Beckett: You did your best.
Neil: How? By losing a farm?
Dr. Sam Beckett: No. By being there when he needed you. Don't you see? In the end, it wasn't my face he saw, it was yours. And no matter what happens to me, no matter what I do for the rest of my life, I can never change that. That moment belongs to you.

Margerita: [to Sam/Jesus after she discovers Jesus murdered a priest after all] You used me!

Sam: Oh, my God. Your brain's Swiss-cheesed.
Admiral: My brain is fine.
Sam: No it's not, the leap Swiss-cheesed it.
Admiral: Stop saying that!
Sam: It's nothing to be ashamed of! Do you remember the first time I leaped? I couldn't even remember my own name.
Admiral: Al. My name is Al.
Sam: [after waiting expectantly for a few seconds] Al what?
Admiral: [laughs awkwardly] You think I've forgotten my last name?
Sam: [laughs and smiles] I'm about to bet on it.
Admiral: Well, you'd lose. It's Beckett. Al Beckett. Ha!
Sam: It's Calavicci. Al Calavicci. HA!
[laughs]
Admiral: [very confused] Calavicci? It's not Beckett?
Sam: No!
Admiral: Well, then, who the hell is Beckett?
Sam: Me. I'm Beckett.
Admiral: [yells] GUSHIE!

Henry: Some people can never forgive. Not even themselves.

Admiral: She knows.
Dr. Sam Beckett: She doesn't kn-kn-know anything. She doesn't.
Admiral: I just heard what she said. She felt it from the minute you leaped in and she knows it wasn't just Will she was with last night.

Admiral: [about his handlink] Uh-oh. I think I killed it, Sam.

Al: Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures.

[after failing to convict Kevin of rape]
Sam: I'm still here, so it must not be over yet.

[last lines]
[Sam has just beaten Kevin up and knocked him unconscious]
Jim: Sweetie, what happened?
Sam: He tried to do it again, only this time, I wasn't pinned inside of a car.
Jim: [stunned] You did that yourself?
Sam: Don't act so surprised, Dad. I mean, after all, I am a McBain.

[deciphering the hieroglyphics on an ancient Egyptian tomb]
Sam: "As for anyone... who will disturb... the tomb of..."
Ginny: "... King Ptah-Hotep..."
Sam: "... death will swallow him." Oh, boy.

Dr. Sam Beckett: [carrying Barbara's luggage to her room] Um... where's the rest?
Barbara: That's it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What do you mean, "That's it"? Two suitcases and a cardboard box is your whole life?
Barbara: My whole life is Marilyn.

Admiral: That's it, Sam. Marilyn does the film, and a lot of people say it's the best work of her career. Um... and, uh, get this: they re-title the film at Marilyn's insistence because of something that you said.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What do they name it?
Admiral: 'The Misfits'.

Father: [to Sam - in the body of Frank Pistano - about the Montocelli sisters] I was here ten years before they quit reviewing my sermons. Now they just shoot me dirty looks from the front row. At least you're Italian. They consider being Irish a birth defect.

Dr. Sam Beckett: Over the years I've leaped into a lot of hairy situations. But this one was more than I expected. And even though I didn't know who I was, I did know who I wasn't. I wasn't Bigfoot. Although, from the look of things, I wasn't far off.

[Sam is being kissed by a Russian girl]
Sam: How do you say "Oh, boy" in Russian?

Admiral: It's much worse than death... in two days, she goes home... she spends the rest of her life alone... without love... in Cleveland.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I can't have a life. All I do is, is live someone else's life. I right their wrongs, fight their fights - geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote.

Razul: [pretending to read the hieroglyphics] "For a good time, call Nefertiti."

[Sam has asked Clinton why he would still follow a quack like himself, i.e. Billy]
Dr. Sam Beckett: If you want to follow somebody around your whole life, follow somebody that's good, somebody that's worthwhile.
Clinton: Doc, y-you picked me up out of shantytown in East St. Louis. I'd never seen a sunrise. Or-or bathed in clean water. Or even had a full belly till I met you. You taught me how to walk tall. I think you're plenty worthwhile. Huh, besides, you know good and damn well I'm waitin' for someday.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Someday?
Clinton: Yeah, someday, you know. You always tell me, "Clinton, someday this whole thing's gonna work, and the rain's gonna fall. And when it does, I'm gonna nail my boots to that patch of ground and turn this whole shootin' match over to you."
Dr. Sam Beckett: You believe that?
Clinton: Sure I do. I believe in you, Doc.

Kiki: [reading Sam's palm] This isn't an accident that you're here. You're on a mission. Someone needs you.
Sam: Who?
Kiki: Well, I can't really tell. But they're close. You've seen a lot of pain. But you're not bitter. You're a searcher, a seeker of truth.
Sam: You see all that in my palm?
Kiki: Not all of it.

Moe: [on his theory of time travel] Time is like a piece of string. One end of the string is birth, the other is death. You put them together, and your life is a loop.
Admiral: Sam, that's your theory!
Moe: If I can travel fast enough along the loop, I will eventually end up back at the beginning of my life.
Admiral: He-he's almost got it.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Uh, well, what... Let me ask you, what would happen if, um, you would ball the string, right? And then each day of your life... would touch another day. And then... you could travel from one place on the string to another, thus enabling you to move back and forth within your own lifetime, maybe.
Moe: That's it. That's it! Then I could actually...
Dr. Sam Beckett: Quantum leap?
Moe: Quantum leap. I like that. I like that a lot.

[Sam is confused about his sudden fluency in Russian]
Marina: You talk Russian, you talk English.
Sam: So do you.
Marina: No.
Sam: Yes, you do, you- you're speaking English right now.
Marina: One, two words.
Sam: That's three. And "You talk English. You talk Russian", that's four more - seven. And "no" is eight.
Marina: You funny, Alik.
Sam: "You funny" - eight, nine, ten. How many more words do you know?
[Marina responds in Russian]
Sam: No, in English.
Marina: Yes, no, hello, good-bye, capitalists exploit the working class.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Where did you learn that?
Marina: You.
Sam: Me?
[looks at the newspaper he is holding: the socialist periodical The Daily Worker]
Sam: Oh, of course me.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I do admit that Mr. Stein did try to build a time machine. But if you had sat there twelve years ago, and told me that the Russians would be the first ones to orbit a satellite around the Earth, I would've called you crazy. But two days ago, they did it. So, who's to say that... twelve years from now, say 1969, maybe men will be walking on the moon, or maybe Moe Stein will be traveling in time. Your Honor. Moe Stein is a dreamer. Are we going to punish people for that? Because if we are... you're gonna need a much bigger room than this.

[last lines]
Sam: I'm gonna tell you a story, Beth. A story with a happy ending. But only if you believe me.
Beth: And if I don't?
Sam: You will. I swear you will. But instead of starting with, "Once upon a time," let's start with the happy ending. - Al's alive. And he's coming home.
Beth: Oh!
[Beth starts crying]

Sam: Destiny's a funny thing. It seems like the harder you try to stop it, the more determined it is to be fulfilled.

Al: [of a camel strutting by] Man. What an ugly horse!
Al: [of Ginny walking by] What a gorgeous woman!

[Helen has suspected Sam - as Karl - of dumping her in favor of Edie]
Dr. Sam Beckett: Look, Helen, believe me...
Helen: Yeah, well. Enjoy it while you can.
Dr. Sam Beckett: What'd you mean by that?
Helen: She might be younger and prettier, but she won't be for long, no, not at the rate that she's going.

Roget: You know, I was wondering. Do you think Diane married you because you're a policeman? Maybe subconsciously she was seeking a protector, a blue knight. I asked my analyst about it this morning, and he thought it quite possible.
Sam: What else did he say?
Roget: Regretfully, that I was quite mad.
Sam: I would agree with that diagnosis.

Bunny: [trying to seduce Sam] I've heard about the way you treat women. The thangs you do.
Admiral: Thangs? What thangs?

Al: [At the rear of the bus, insisting on Diane's innocence] Sam, I can see it in her eyes!
Sam: You do not. You may feel it in your loins, but you definitely do not see it in her eyes.
Al: Sam!
Sam: What?
Al: I feel it in my loins.
Sam: Yeah.

Dr. Sam Beckett: I can't imagine what it would be like to live without ever hearing music.
Diana: I know music in a way that you will never know. When I look around, I see music everywhere. There's the music in the stars. The way they sparkle. I feel them. There's music in the light as they dance on the water at night. And how the leaves chase each other, laughing. Like children that play. When I feel the wind on my face, the wind is my music.

Vincent: Let's just say that from here out, you and I have an agreement. Your part of the deal says you stay away from Catherine and her entire family. My part says, if you don't, I kill you.
Dr. Sam Beckett: Sounds like you're making me an offer I can't refuse.
Vincent: An offer you can't refuse... That's good. I like that.

Beth: The way I see it, Gus Vernon has it comin'.
Carrie: Beth!
Beth: Well, he does. I don't know why you're always protecting that man.
Carrie: Because he is our boss, that's why. We wouldn't have a job if it wasn't for him.
Beth: Oh, some job. Two dollars an hour, no benefits, and you. I should've never quit the Dairy Queen.
Carrie: If you ask me, that's where you belong.
Beth: Well, at least I don't have to sleep with the boss to keep my job.
Carrie: You little bitch!
Beth: Takes one to know one.

Waitress: Do I know you?
Sam: I don't think so.
Waitress: I could swear I've seen your face someplace before.
Norma: Yeah, well, he gets that all the time.
Hank: Yeah-ha - he's got one of those kind of faces.
Waitress: What kind?
Hank: You know, one of those kind you... think you've seen, but you haven't... seen - but you think you have... kind.

Carl: Why don't we quit fooling around and get to fooling around?

Ted: You know, when you left, Cleveland lost its prettiest girl.
Jane: And when you left, Cleveland lost its biggest liar.

[last lines]
[Sam comes face to face with his real dad]
Dr. Sam Beckett: I'm Willie Walters.
John: Bill Walters' boy?
Dr. Sam Beckett: That's right.
John: I haven't seen you since the funeral. Your father was a good man.
Dr. Sam Beckett: He was the best.
John: How's your mother?
Dr. Sam Beckett: She's good. She wanted me to give you a message though.
John: Message?
Dr. Sam Beckett: Yeah, she, uh... she wanted me to wish you a merry Christmas.
[he hugs John]
John: Well... Merry Christmas to you too, son. Merry Christmas to you.

Lyle: What do you want me to do, Melvin, arrest Mr. Truesdale for trying to get Hilla an abortion?
Sam: No, I want you to arrest him for murder.
Lyle: I can't do that.
Sam: Why? Because he bought you that badge?
Lyle: Nobody owns me, Melvin. Except maybe my wife.
Sam: Why won't you arrest him?
Lyle: Because, even if what you're saying it true, which I don't believe for a second it is, the D.A. will never prosecute. All you've got is a possible motive. You've got no weapon, not bullet, no witness. Hell, it'll never get past the grand jury. She committed suicide, Melvin. Now, put the poor girl in the ground... before she puts you there, too.

Sgt. Bellisario: Do you often read The Daily Worker?
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] It's the only newspaper that tells the truth.
Sgt. Bellisario: The truth?
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] How the United States oppresses the proletariat of the world with its military might.
Al: He's back.
Sgt. Bellisario: You sound like a communist.
Sam: I know, I know.
Sgt. Bellisario: But you're not.
Sam: I'm not what I sometimes sound like.
Al: Oh good. That's better, Sam.
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] But if I were, I'd be a Marxist.
Sgt. Bellisario: If you're a Marxist, what the hell are you doing in the Marine Corps?
Sam: I don't know.
[Sam leaps again]

Dr. Sam Beckett: My dad taught me the names of all the constellations. He said if I knew the names of the stars above our home, then I could never be alone, because I could always look up and know that he and Mom were looking at the same stars.

Al: I went over to check out the cheerleaders. Oh, Sam. There was one little girl who had these pommelos, man.
Sam: Pommelos are grapefruit.
Al: Pommel - that's my point!

Dr. Sam Beckett: No, I'm not going to encourage a fifteen-year-old boy to have sexual intercourse.
Teresa: [entering] What's sekelar undercourse?