50 Best Medium Quotes

Allison: Don't you want justice for yourself, Mr. Turley?
Morgan: No, I'm over it.
Allison: But we need to stop your killer in case he does this to someone else.
Allison: No, I got the impression from the look on his face that it was a one-time-only thing.

Ariel: Who are you?
Mr. Teefers: Who do you think I am?
Ariel: I dunno... Some dead guy in a beaver costume?

Allison: I didn't realise that someone had passed away. I'm not really fond of funerals, I deal with death a lot in my work.
Angel: Me too.

Bridgette: Don't let her chop my head off!
Joe: Chop your head off?
[to Allison]
Joe: You bringing your work home with you again?

Allison: He looks pretty good, don't you think?
Joe: For a functional alcoholic - absolutely. You know he's still out there drinking by himself?
Allison: Wow, who died and appointed you the mayor of Funville?

Allison: I don't wanna get up. You're right, I'm depressed.
Joe: You know what depression is? It's unchanneled anger.
Allison: Thank you. Thank you. Everything is different now. I'm still not getting up.

Joe: Changing your name so that people won't hold what your father did against you, is that a crime?

[Allison just had a dream about a doll encouraging multiple kids to kill a parent]
Allison: I know it sounds bizarre. That point is not lost on me.
Detective: So there's this killer doll...
Allison: I didn't say that! What I'm saying is I saw another child kill her father. And it seemed the doll, SEEMED to be mastermind. Even made it look like a mishap,like the Levitt killing.
Detective: The Levitt accident? The mastermind. Cool. Any sense of where this may have happened? I can send some men down to the mall. We can round up some Kens, some Barbies, some Cabbage Patches. One of those little bastards is bound to know something.
[Slight pause]
Detective: What?
Allison: You're not gonna help me, are you?
Detective: With what?
Allison: Fine. I'll do it myself!
Detective: Be careful. That Raggedy Ann may look out of shape, but she'll kick your ass in a fight.

Dr. Charles Walker: Ladies, if you'll kindly take a seat in the waiting room, the doctor and I will finish up and be with you shortly.

Detective: It must be the maid's year off.

Allison: I just had a weird dream...
Joe: Of course you did. It's a day ending in "Y".

Captain: Now, you ponder that for a second and then you tell me one more time where you think this body is.
Allison: You're standing on it.

Morgan: I haven't felt so suicidal since I was alive.

Allison: [to Joe] What? You told me to dream about anything other than Murcado. It's not my fault my brain picks Sin City.

[Allison is hunting for her keys]
Joe: Keys? I would think even to get a psychic learner's permit you'd have to be able to find a lost set of...
Allison: [holding them] Keys?

Det. Lee Scanlon: I don't think you're understanding me. I'm going in there. It's just a matter of whether you're going to be smiling or frowning when I do.

Karen: [Joe is having lunch with and talking to an old acquaintance, research fellow, Karen about her wanting a job in Aerodytech. She is asking him to put in a word for her] But even if someone like you weighs in on my behalf? Don't you think they'll meet me?
Joe: Uhm, I don't know.
Karen: Isn't it at least worth a try? I mean how fantastic would that be, working together again, rubbing elbows, pulling all-nighters.
Joe: [Karen touches Joe's leg under the table] What are you doing, Karen?
Karen: I'm closing, Joe. I'm closing.
Joe: Well, stop. Look, I am flattered by your proposal, both proposals, but frankly, you're not qualified for either position. The first one is clearly way above your head educationally, and the second one is permanently filled by someone who knows more about physics than you and me combined. Enjoy your fish.

Mrs. Dubois: So Allison, tell me about your work.
Allison: Oh, I don't know, it's part time. I work for the District Attorney.
Mrs. Dubois: Sort of a paralegal thing?
Joe: There's definitely some 'para,' but I do believe there's some 'legal' in there too, so...

Allison: Let me ask you a question: is it completely hypocritical of me to be scared to death of the possibility of your mother living near us, while at the same time calling you at work to say do you think it would be okay if I left her with the kids for a little while, while I go to meet somebody in about half an hour?
Joe: Yes, it's completely hypocritical. And I think you should do it.

Allison: How can you say that?
Joe: I move my lips, I push out air. There's nothing to it.

Dist. Atty. Manuel Devalos: Your wife's a hero, Joe.
Joe: I know that... I've always known that.

[the family just finished having some cake to celebrate Joe getting put in charge of an important project]
Ariel: So let me get this straight. The reason we get to stay up an extra half hour and eat cake is because Daddy got put in charge of some really cool project.
Joe: [Still eating cake] That is correct.
Ariel: Only you can't tell us about this really cool project because it's top secret.
Joe: That is also correct.
Ariel: [Excited] Can we at least have a hint?
[Joe motions that his lips are locked and the key is thrown away, meaning he won't tell]
Allison: Okay, on that note, come on, you little security risks. It's time to hit the hay. Joe, you got Bridge?
Joe: Yes.
[Reaches for Bridgette, waking her up]
Joe: Come on, kiddo. Time for bed.
Bridgette: [Sleepily] But I don't want to go to bed. I like staying up late.
Joe: Really? You got a funny way of showing it.
Bridgette: Congratulations again, Daddy. If you can't get that ship up to Mars, nobody can.

Capt. Kenneth Push: That's my cab.
Ariel: I'll go.
Bridgette: Me too!
Marie: Me three!

Joe: Cockadoodle doo.
Allison: Cockadoodle who?
Joe: Nevermind, I take that back, it's way too early for this kind of talk. Do you know that it's barely five o'clock?

Allison: Something happened here alright - but I don't think it was any crime, least not where I come from.

Michael: I didn't just crack this case, I *smashed* it!

Laurence: This is America, man. Cops can't just bust into your house for no reason!

Vincent: So she says, 'did you use a coaster?' And I said 'no, I didn't use a coaster!' She says, 'How many times do I have to tell you to use a coaster?!' And I said, 'I dunno, how many times do I have to tell you to stop being ugly?!'

Clay: [pulling up the corner of the last monkey heads cartoon dream]
[as a cartoon]
Clay: You got it now? You really got it? 'cause I gotta go...

Joe: Everything is physics.

Allison: Where is everybody?
Joe: Well, let's see. Ariel is at Hannah's...
Joe: [after Allison gives him confused look] Oh, did I mention I'm taking you to Mexico for your birthday?

Marie: [Allison dreams of teacher about to be shot by a student he cries out but instead of his voice Marie's comes out instead] MOMMY? MOMMY?
Marie: [Allison wakes up and still hears her daughter's voice] MOMMY/
Joe: What is it a bad dream?
Marie: [Marie climbs into their bed] Mommy
Joe: [on seeing his daughter in their bed] Oh my goodness this is a bad dream

Allison: It's 9:00. How am I supposed to know you're OK? How do I know you're not lying dead somewhere?
Joe: If something had happened, somebody would've called. If I were dead, who are we kidding, you'd be the first to know.

Joe: I still have my pity party decorations, you wanna borrow some?

Catherine: Even among the special you're special.

Joe's: I'll be damned if I know what my son sees in you.
Allison: It's okay. You already are damned.

Allison: Hey, is that says J. heart A.?
Joe: Is that what that says? Huh. I have no idea who'd done that.
Allison: You liar.
[Grabs his head lovingly]
Allison: Give me a kiss.
Joe: What if I don't?
Allison: Well, I might call the cops you little vandal.
Joe: I hate this. I hate the way you use me.
Allison: Oh, shut up and kiss.
[They kiss]
Allison: Mm. That was pretty good. I think you're safe for now.
Joe: Oh, thank godness cause I'm out of clean underwear and I hate the idea of going to the big house on dirty shorts.
[Allison laughs]
Joe: I hate what they've got to say about you.
Allison: You're always that romantic, Joe Dubois.

Angel: There's an old saying the enemies of Death are Luck and Hope. Not true by the way, I'm good friends with both.

Joe: Ever since you made the decision not to go to law school, to go to work for the D.A. as a consultant, I don't know, you seem kinda...
Allison: Bitchy? Cranky? Pissed off?
Joe: You can read minds.

Allison: Justice isn't only blind, it's in a coma.

Joe: [Having found Allison in the garage, just sitting behind the wheel of her car] What're you doing out here?
Allison: You're not gonna believe this but I had a crazy dream.
Joe: [deadpan] You don't say.

Allison: Oh, I had a real nightmare, that Cynthia Keener had a nightmare.
Joe: Keener, what could possibly give that woman nightmares, other than somebody named Dorothy dropping a house on her?

Joe: [after having been approached by a corporate headhunter] ... Turns out I'm a "green" engineer and didn't even know it!
Allison: [laughs] I don't care what color engineer you are, as long as you're a happy engineer.

Bridgette: Daddy, we need to go to bed.
Joe: Okay.
Bridgette: But mummy isn't here and we need our kisses.
Joe: Okay.
Bridgette: Well, can you come over here and give them to us?
Joe: Oh, well, I kinda can't right now, sweety.
Bridgette: Well then, can we come over there and get them from you?
Joe: Not unless you can fly.
Marie: I could fly.
Bridgette: No you can't.

Allison: So, how are the girls?
Joe: Happy, eating pizza
Allison: Pizza! What about my lasagne?
Joe: I'm just hazarding a guess here but, when you said 15 minutes, you meant the oven oven, right?, not the microwave

Angel: Be careful, bathrooms can be very dangerous places. Did you know, that 47% of all accidental deaths take place in the home, and that 61% of those happen in the family bathroom?

Joe's: Well, let's start... with everything.

[Allison is annoyed about having to clean the house before her birthday party]
Joe: Aren't you going to get that?
Allison: Why? It's one of the wicked stepsisters calling to say she's coming to the ball, but she wants me to stop and clean her fireplace.

Michael: Well, I guess there can only be one official, secret police psychic in this family, huh.

Joe: Todd Emory? I'm talking to you.
Joe: We haven't met, but I'm the landlord. I'm serving you with an eviction notice.
Joe: You've been warned.