The Best Mr. Felch Quotes

Mr. Felch: [skeptically] Hemlock maneuver. That's a good one! I mean, who do you're dealing with here, some local who just got off the phone? Let me tell you something: I've spent 25 years in this city, and I know all about people. Nobody does nothing for nobody but themselves!
Mr. Felch: [Harris types] Yeah, you're right, I'm a little cynical, so excuse me for not believing in Tinkerbelle.
Mr. Felch: [to Mr. DeLuca] Let me get this straight: You're saying that you saw me in trouble, so you came over, for no reason, with nothing in it for you, and saved my life.
Norman Deluca: Yes.
Mr. Felch: You're sick!

Capt. Barney Miller: Mr. Felch, have you ever heard of the Heimlich maneuver?
Mr. Felch: Sure; Krauts pulled it in '43.