The Best Penelope Blossom Quotes

Penelope: I swear, Archibald, when the light hits you just right...

Penelope: [after Cliff inquired from Veronica about how Hiram was doing] There are worse things than prison.
Cheryl: Like this dinner party.
Penelope: [sharply] What did you say?
[Cheryl's quiet]
Penelope: Mm.
Cliff: [to Veronica] That must have been... hard for you... Watching your father being handcuffed and dragged out of your home in front of you and your neighbors, all of those reporters...
[uneasy silence all around the dinner table]
Veronica: Worst part is how fast it happened. He was just... gone. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. That's why I think it's so great, you all getting a chance to say goodbye to Jason tomorrow...
Cheryl: Not all of us.
Penelope: That's because some people already got the chance to say goodbye to Jason... while rowing him across the river... to his death.

Penelope: You made a grave mistake, little girl.
Betty: No, I don't think so. And I'm not gonna stop until I prove it.

Penelope: [while her daughter is filling a basket with confectionery] Nana Rose... Cheryl? Do you really think that that senile crone would be a better guardian than your own mother?
Cheryl: Oh, Mumsie. Enough. I'm off to deliver some nibbles to my cherie and her chums at the Whyte Wyrm.
Penelope: Cheryl, no! You can't...
[voice filled with dread]
Penelope: go there. Not tonight.
Cheryl: And why, pray tell, not?

Penelope: Nothing could be more purely Blossom than those babies.

Penelope: [from deleted scene]
[to black male customer]
Penelope: Can I fix you another gin before we go upstairs? A double this time?
Cheryl: [enters room, dressed in outrageous skimpy red outfit not fit for Riverdale streets] Now, now. Why settle for a jalopy when you could joyride a newer model?
black: Well, well. Where have you been hiding?
Penelope: [rises to put a stop to this] She's sixteen. And my *daughter*. Cheryl, that's enough.
black: I- Excuse me...
[beats a hasty retreat]
black: I... I...
[slips past Cheryl]
Penelope: [after the guy went off] That's gonna cost us a pretty penny.
Cheryl: I do know love, Mother. I may not be feeling it right now... but I have.
Penelope: Spare me. The only kind of love you've experienced was perverse, warped and deviant.
Cheryl: Even if it was... it was mine. But you couldn't let me have it, could you? You did everything in your power to destroy it. And now all I can do is pay you back in hate.
[turns around, walks away]

Penelope: You want answers, Cheryl? Are you ready? There it is! There's the sticky, dark, dirty truth. Maple syrup! Drown in it, why don't you?