The Best Ronnie Lee Quotes

Roland: Jocelynn and I went to the baby doctor. We don't want to know the sex of the baby. We want to keep it a surprise. Now? What's the combination to the safe? It's either my birthday or Gloria Estefan's
Ronnie: [sarcastically] Your wife is pregnant. How many more surprises do you need?
Moira: Good morning.
[Short pause]
Roland: It's Gloria Estefan's. 09-01-59.
Moira: [after opening the manila envelope sitting on her desk] Who left a picture of a ghost on my desk?
Roland: [gasping] I can't believe you opened that?
Moira: It was sitting on my desk!
Roland: That's the sonogram of our baby! I was trying not to open it.
Moira: But it's a...
Roland: Don't say anything. We don't want to know the sex of our baby!

Roland: You know Johnny, the next time I need a sub remind me to ask the blind goat on Mrs. Divine's farm.
Johnny: It's just a game, Roland.
Ronnie: Papa smoked his son square in his back!
Johnny: It was a quick recovery Ronnie but thanks for the play by play.
Roland: Luckily for me, I had a side bet on whether Johnny would throw the game in his kid's favour? I consider it to be a draw.

David: [Standing on the chair] Everyone? I would just like to say a big congratulations to Team Cabaret. You guys were awesome. Speaking of love...
Roland: [Raspy voice] Somebody got engaged!
David: Speaking of love, I'm so glad that you're all here because Patrick and I have an announcement to make.
Jocelyn: [Very drunk] They're getting married!
David: Jocelyn! I'm the one standing on the chair! Two years ago I went to fill out some paperwork for my business license and little did I know I would meet the love of my
[Moira's phone starts ringing]
David: MY. GOD!
Moira: Sorry, this is me. It's probably press. I'm sorry David I have to take this. I already know about your engagement!
[blows David kisses]
Ronnie: So you're engaged to him?
David: Okay, so this shouldn't be so hard!
Alexis: Oh my god, David spit it out!
David: Oh my god! Fine! I met someone who changed my life and I don't know what I would do without him? So yes, we all know that Patrick and I are engaged!
Moira: NO! NO! NO!
Stevie: My God!
Johnny: [Everyone runs into the other room to find Moira collapsed on the floor] If it's a bad review Moira I wouldn't trust local critics.
Moira: They shelved the Crowing! It's over.
[Moira crawls into a closet, shuts the door and starts crying]
Johnny: [Standing in front of the closet door] Show's over people! Nothing here to see.
David: Okay everyone if you can just leave your champagne flutes here. Unless you still want to make a toast?
[Patrick shakes his head no]
David: Okay just leave your champagne flutes here. Thank you!