The Best Roseanne Roseannadanna Quotes

Roseanne: A Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, NewJersey writes in and says: "Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna, Last Thursday, I quit smokin'. Now, I'm depressed, I gained weight, my face broke out, I'm nauseous, I'm constipated, my feet swelled, my gums are bleedin', my sinuses are clogged, I got heartburn, I'm cranky and I have gas. What should I do?" Mr. Feder, you sound like a real attractive guy... you belong in New Jersey!

Roseanne: Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, New Jersey sent me this Christmas poem that says:
[reads aloud from a greeting card]
Roseanne: Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna, Well, the holiday season is finally here, Bringin' Santa and sleigh rides and lots of good cheer. Children are laughin', there's lights on the trees. Everyone's happy except for me. Folks goin' to parties, folks having fun. I wanna blow my brains out, get me a gun! Christmas is here and I should feel swell But I'm cryin' in my room and I feel like hell. What should I do?

Roseanne: It's like my father used to say to me when I was a little tiny girl, before I went to sleep. He'd say, "Roseanne Roseannadanna... it's a jungle out there. Every dog has his day. You made your bed, so now you gotta sleep in it. Don't bite the hand that feeds you! When the going gets tough, the tough gets going! Don't cry over spilt milk! And it's 6 of 1, half-a-dozen of the other! Tomorrow's another day. Good night, Roseanne Roseannadanna!"