The Best Sex Education, Season 3, Episode 5 Quotes

- Jean Milburn.
- Uh, yes. I'm just waiting for my partner.

- -[knocking at door]
- -[girl shouts in Mandarin]
[in English] Wait a minute, please! Merci.
- -[knocking at door]
- -[girl shouts in Mandarin]

- So, let's fix up, tidy up our uniforms, and get our general shit together.
- Yeah?
- Cheers.
- Lights, please, Terry.

- Sir!
- Terry, get a grip on her!

- Cheers, mate. No. No.
- -No. Fuck him. Fuck him.
- -Okay, let's all relax. Yeah?
- If anyone needs to use the toilets, they're over here.
- Be back here in 15 minutes.
- Thank you.
- -[indistinct chattering]
- -[phone chimes]

- I can't… I can't do this.
Otis: Okay.
- I understand.
- I don't… I don't wanna lose you again.
- I'm confused. This is confusing me.

- Did you mean it?
- Of course I meant it.

- "So that meant getting a good meal meant you might be killed the next day."
- It says, "During World War I,
- 250,000 boys under 18 were recruited."
- Same age as us.
- Crazy to think people used to have to go to war.
- Some still do. We're just lucky.

Jean: [to Hope] Unfortunately, restraint doesn't mix very well with raging hormones.

- -[both sigh]
- -[Maeve] Hm.
- Cal.
- Are we okay?
- Yeah, yeah. We're totally fine.
- I'll see you on Monday.
- How'd it go?
- It was… 100% peachy. Yeah.

[in English] Everyone thinks
- I'm an idiot anyway. I wanna go home.
- I thought you hated me.
- No.
- I don't hate you.
- But I'm not touching your poo, mate. So…

- Um, I'm sorry, Jackson. I don't…
- I don't think I can do this.
- -Okay. No, that's cool.
- -Sorry.

- But where will Michael live?
- He's a grown man. He'll be fine.
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Save your applause.
- We are not getting married, but we are moving in together!
- Can we please go home?

- You don't want to draw attention to yourself in Nigeria.
- It's dangerous for you.
- It's not like here.
- What do you mean for me, Mum?
- You know what I mean.
- Go and change now.
- Come on! I want everyone packed in the next half an hour!

- -[toilet flushing]
- -Hmm.
- Quite specific.

- -Maeve? Maeve?
- -Maeve! Maeve!
[man 2] Who is Maeve?
- Who are you?
[in German] I'm Albert.
- -[in English] Oh…
- -Colin Ray Hendricks.
- Terry, turn the coach around! Maeve?

- I didn't think I cared about things, but I do.
Cal: Hm.
- You made me realize that I do.
- Okay.
- -We'll make her listen.
- -Yes!

- Let us in!
- -Set us free!
- -[Rahim] Wait a fucking minute!
- -[Rahim] Ah!
- -[knocking at door continues]
Jackson: Come on!
- It's cool.
- What are you doing in there?

- Well, then they can raise it.
- Race you to the top. Three, two, one, go!
- -[phone chimes]
- -[scoffs]
- Ruby, can we talk?
- Don't look at her. Don't speak to her.
- Don't breathe.
- -I'm trying to apologize.
- -Stop talking. It's triggering for Ruby.

- but it never really goes away, only gets smaller.
- Maybe Lily's never experienced that.
- Why don't you try telling Eugene what you'd like him to sext you instead?
Colin: Let's go! What's that?
- -Really?
- -It might work.
- CLOSED

- How do I say "help"?
[in French] Help!
- I am help!
[in English] Why are you laughing?
- -Sorry. You're funny when you're stressed.
- -Well, you're not helping.
[Otis in French] I am help!

- Fucking love you.
- Baba ghanoush.

- Don't you tell me to calm down, Jakob. Where were you?
- I told you,
- I was trying to get us some tea.
- Well, fuck the fucking tea.
- I needed you in the room.
- How can I help you?
- Oh, that's fantastic. Another one.

- "A boring horse."
- "Its blah-blah eyes never open, never closed."
- "His head shape so average."
- That's actually quite good.
- I think I was wrong though.
- You're not as unremarkable as I thought.

- I'm not prepared to offer you another round yet.
- I'll have to talk to another doctor, then.
- You can see Dr. Ennis when he's back from holiday next week, but I think he'll tell you the same thing.
- I want a second opinion.
- -[coins clattering]
- -[machine beeps]

- -Yeah?
- -[echoing] Yeah.
- All right, let's go.
- You'll always be head boy, Marchetti.
[echoing] What the fuck?
- -[song ends]
- -[toilet water splashes]
- This door leads to another portal.

- can have a negative effect on your children's lives.
- Do you have children, Doctor?
- -Uh, yeah, two.
- -Hm.
- And do you think having a king-sized arsehole for a father had a negative impact on their lives too?
- I want to talk to your superior.

- -Are we?
- -Yeah.
- Terry, I will give you 20 euros if you can get us back on schedule.
- -Done.
- -Great.
- Come on, Quentin, for fuck's sake!
- What, do you wanna marry France?
- Jesus!
Colin: Terry!

- Right. Good. Okay!
- Now that we're all a little bit calmer, should we have a sing-along? Yeah?
- Let's do it.

- But he did, and here we are.
- What did it say?
- The voice mail?
- Doesn't matter.
- It was ages ago.
- Matters to me.

- Something you wanna say?
- I think poetry's dumb.
- Why?
- It's just long words that don't make any sense.
- Maybe you're not listening.
- I have written a poem about you.

- -[water burbling]
- -[Colin groans]
- -When I decided to be a teacher…
- -Mm-hmm.
- …I dreamt of helping students fulfill their potential by gently drawing out their inner creative gifts.
- Instead, I'm plunging their shit.
- You are majestic.

Colin: Okay, party people.
- -["Pump Up the Jam" playing]
- -This is for real.
- Who remembers this? Anyone? Here we go.
- Ready? Whoa.
- Come on!
- No?

Aimee: [to Maeve] You act like you don't give a s*** about anyone, but really, it's just to keep people out. You've done it to Otis, and now you're doing it to me!

- I'm embarrassed.
- I've been dressing up as an alien, and you've been thinking it's strange.
- Not strange strange.
- Just sometimes, I wanna be in the real world when I'm having sex, not a silly fantasy land.
- Oh, so now having sex with me is silly?

- "And I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you."
- "And about how you saying you had feelings for me was all I ever wanted to hear."
- "'Cause it's always been you."
- "I love you."
- Anyway, it was stupid.
- Did you mean it?