The Best Sgt. Bellisario Quotes

Sgt. Bellisario: Do you often read The Daily Worker?
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] It's the only newspaper that tells the truth.
Sgt. Bellisario: The truth?
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] How the United States oppresses the proletariat of the world with its military might.
Al: He's back.
Sgt. Bellisario: You sound like a communist.
Sam: I know, I know.
Sgt. Bellisario: But you're not.
Sam: I'm not what I sometimes sound like.
Al: Oh good. That's better, Sam.
Sam: [in Oswald's voice] But if I were, I'd be a Marxist.
Sgt. Bellisario: If you're a Marxist, what the hell are you doing in the Marine Corps?
Sam: I don't know.
[Sam leaps again]