The Best Steve Holt Quotes

Steve: [reading the cast list for Tobais's play] Steve Holt!
Maebe: Steve Holt!
George: Stand in for... Steve Holt?
Steve: [interrupting] Steve Holt!

Steve: Your mom seems pretty cool.
Maebe: That's not my mom.
Steve: ...but she said you were her daughter.
Maebe: His daughter. It's my dad.
Steve: That's a dude?
Maebe: And the worst part is? He thinks he's passing.

George: [upon reading who he's been cast as in the school play] Stand in for... Steve Holt?
Steve: Steve Holt!

Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Steve Holt finally tracks down his real father.
Steve: I've been wondering my whole life who he is-a scientist? A doctor? A senator?
Gary: Well, I've got some bad news.
[He hands over a picture of Gob]
Steve: Wow. Is that what's gonna happen to my hair?

Steve: [after GOB opens a new frozen banana stand] We don't even really know the recipe.
George: There's no recipe. You just freeze a banana and stick it in the...
Michael: [quickly interrupting] Don't tell them!
Steve: Stick it in the what? Stick it in the what?!

Michael: Are those pills?
Steve: I got them from Coach. They're filled with oxygen and it makes you incontinent. It's called "Oxy Incontin".

Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Buster signs Steve Holt up for the Army.
George: No, you can't, you can't! I'm finally ready to be a father to you. I know that now.
Steve: I don't go in for another two years.
George: Well, as your father, can I sign something?
[a giant green "X" appears on GOB]
Narrator: And George Sr. finds out that a fake Popemobile... cant stop real bullets.

Steve: I've made a huge mistake.
Gob: I know the feeling. I had you. I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more.
Steve: I won't forget this... Dad.
Gob: [swallows roofie] I will. I will.

Michael: Oh that's a tough race.
Steve: Only for a wimp, a wuss, a pussy.
Narrator: And Steve didn't mean "pussy cat".

Narrator: Remember when I said that GOB had a son? I wasn't just saying so. In high school, he became intimate with these girls. These three became pregnant. This one had a baby. That baby would grow up to be...
Steve: Steve Holt!