The Best Archie Havering Quotes

[first lines]
Archie: Billy-old morning, Uncle Harry.
Harrington: They'll sort you out a loader.

Hercule: Ah, a log fire, one of the better traditions of the English.
Captain: Roger was saying you keep an eye on the place for the family?
Archie: Yes, I'm local. A poor relation is available. Damn ignominious it is too.
Captain: Why?
Archie: Some of my pupils' families live six to a room. This place lies empty forty weeks a year.