The Best Dr. King Schultz Quotes

Dr. King Schultz: How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django: Kill white folks and they pay you for it? What's not to like?

Dr. King Schultz: You silver tongued devil, you.

Calvin: White cake?
Dr. King Schultz: I don't go in for sweets, thank you.
Calvin: Are you brooding 'bout me getting the best of ya, huh?
Dr. King Schultz: Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.
Calvin: Come again?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin: You doubt he'd approve?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin: Soft hearted Frenchy?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas is black.

Dr. King Schultz: Mister Candie, normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye!
[Dr. Schultz turns around to leave with Django and Broomhilda]
Calvin: [Candie sulks in his library chair for a brief moment as he watches Schultz walk out. He then raises his hand to stop the doctor] Hmm! One more moment, Doctor!
Dr. King Schultz: [stops and faces Candie] What?
Calvin: [Candie raises out of his chair] It's a custom here in the South once a business deal is concluded that the two parties shake hands. It implies good faith...
Dr. King Schultz: I'm not from the South...
[Schultz turns again]
Calvin: But you are in my house, Doctor! So, I'm afraid I must insist...
Dr. King Schultz: Insist? On what? That I shake your hand?
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz: Then I'm afraid I must insist in the opposite direction!
Calvin: [Calvin walks closer to the German doctor] You know what I think you are?
Dr. King Schultz: What you think I am? No, I don't!
Calvin: I think you are a bad loser!
Dr. King Schultz: And I think you're an abysmal winner!
Calvin: Never the less, here in Chickasaw County, a deal ain't done till the two parties have shook hands. Even after all that paper signin', don't mean shit you don't shake my hand.
Dr. King Schultz: And if I don't shake your hand, you're gonna throw away $12,000? I don't think so!
Calvin: Mr. Pooch, if she tries to leave here before this nigger-loving German shakes my hand, you cut her ass down!
[Butch turns around to Broomhilda and clicks his gun. Django stands in front of Broomhilda to protect her in case she gets shot; he looks at Schultz. Dr. Schultz glares back at Django with an angry look on his face]
Dr. King Schultz: [Dr. Schultz turns back at Candie] You REALLY want me to shake your hand?
Calvin: [Candie holds out his hand and smirks] I insist!
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, if you insist...
[Schultz smiles and walks up to Candie, pretending to willfully shake his hand; he instead raises a tiny gun hidden under his sleeve and shoots Candie in the chest]

Dr. King Schultz: Now, anything else about Mr. Candie that I should know about before I meet him?
Leonide Moguy: Yes, he is a bit of a Francophile.
Dr. King Schultz: Ha! What civilized people aren't?
Leonide Moguy: And he prefers "Monsieur Candie" to "Mr. Candie".
Dr. King Schultz: Si c'est cela qu'il préfère.
[Subtitle: Whatever he prefers]
Leonide Moguy: He doesn't speak French. Don't speak French to him; it'll embarrass him.

Calvin: [to Django] So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?
Django: Not for top dollar.
Calvin: Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat ass nigger from me, those are the beat ass niggers I want to sell, so...
Django: He don't wanna buy the niggers you wanna sell. He wants the nigger you don't wanna sell.
Calvin: Well, I don't sell the niggers I don't wanna sell.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, you won't sell your best. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it?
[laughs]
Dr. King Schultz: Who knows what could happen?
Calvin: And what do you consider "ridiculous?"
Dr. King Schultz: For a truly talented specimen, the right nigger? How much would you say, Django?
Django: ...12,000 dollars.
Calvin: Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.

Dr. King Schultz: How long have you been associated with Mr. Candie?
Leonide Moguy: Oh, Calvin's father and I were about eleven when we went to boarding school together. Calvin's father's father put me through law school. One could almost say I was raised to be Calvin's lawyer.
Django: One could almost say youse a nigga.
Leonide Moguy: What did you say?
Django: I said...
Dr. King Schultz: Nothing; he's just being cheeky.

Dr. King Schultz: [toasting their business transaction] Prost!
Calvin: [toasting in kind] ... German.

Dr. King Schultz: Our mutual friend has a flair for the dramatic.

Django: What'a a bounty?
Dr. King Schultz: It's like a reward.
Django: You kill people? And they give you a reward?
Dr. King Schultz: Certain people, yeah...
Django: Bad people?
Dr. King Schultz: [grins] Ah! Badder they are, bigger the reward.

Dr. King Schultz: I wish to parley with you.
Dicky: Speak English.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me. it *is* a second language.

Dr. King Schultz: Oh, Monsieur Candie, you can't imagine what it's like not to hear your mother tongue in four years.
Calvin: Well hell, I can't imagine two weeks in Boston!
Stephen: [laughs out loud] "Two weeks in Boston!" Monsieur Candie, you a mess!

Dr. King Schultz: My name is Dr. King Schultz, and like yourself, Marshall, I am a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of 200 dollars. Now, that's 200 dollars, dead or alive.
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum: The hell you say!
Dr. King Schultz: I'm aware this is probably disconcerting news. But I'm willing to wager this man was elected sheriff sometime in the last two years. I know this because three years ago, he was rustling cattle from the B.C. Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas. Now, this is a warrant, made out by circuit court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin Texas. You're encouraged to wire him. He'll back up who I am, and who your dear departed sheriff was. In other words Marshall... you owe me 200 dollars.
Django: I'll be damned!

Calvin: Dr. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right nigger you'd be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. To which me myself said "What is your definition of ridiculous?" To which you said "$12,000." Now, considering y'all have ridden a whole lot of miles...
[Candie aggressively grabs Broomhilda's head, she whimpers as Django looks on intensively]
Calvin: ... went through a whole lot of trouble...
[Candie continues holding Broomhilda's head, and starts rubbing her face]
Calvin: ... and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right nigger. And if y'all wanna leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price... is $12,000.
Dr. King Schultz: And I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation?
Calvin: [Candie lets go of Broomhila's head] Yes, I do, Doctor. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda, here, is my property... and I can choose to do with MY PROPERTY... WHATEVER I SO DESIRE!
[Candie rubs his injured hand and smears the blood all over Broomhilda's face; she shrieks and moans in disgust and fear]
Calvin: And if y'all think my price for this nigger here is too steep, what I'm gonna desire to do is...
[Candie causally sets his cigarette down; he suddenly but quickly picks up his hammer and violently grabs hold of Broomhilda's hair, slamming her face on the dinner table and raising the hammer above her head. Schultz jumps while Django rises up out of his seat]
Calvin: TAKE THIS GODDAMNED HAMMER HERE, AND BEAT HER ASS TO DEATH WITH IT! RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOTH YA'LL! THEN WE CAN EXAMINE THE THREE DIMPLES INSIDE BROOMHILDA'S SKULL! NOW... WHAT'S IT GONNA BE DOC? HUH? WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?
Dr. King Schultz: [Screams back nervously] May I lift my hands off the table in order to remove my billfold?
Calvin: YES, you may!
[Schultz quickly retrieves his wallet out of his pocket and tosses it on the table; Stephen grabs it and starts counting the money]
Stephen: [Nods to Calvin with the cash] That twelve.
[Candie greedily smiles as Stephen drops the cash in front of him]
Calvin: [Lets go of Broomhilda's head and slams the hammer loudly on the table] SOLD... TO THE MAN WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARD, AND HIS UNEXCEPTIONAL NIGGER!

Dr. King Schultz: [aiming .45-70 rifle at fleeing Ellis Brittle] You sure that's him?
Django: Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz: Positive?
Django: I don't know.
Dr. King Schultz: You don't know if you're positive?
Django: I don't know what 'positive' means.
Dr. King Schultz: It means you're sure.
Django: Yes.
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, what?
Django: Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.
[Schultz shoots Brittle off his horse]
Django: I'm positive he dead.

Calvin: [to Stephen] Stephen, when you get through showing them to their rooms, go fetch Hildi. Get her cleaned up and smellin' real nice and send her over to Dr. Schultz's room.
Stephen: [laughing] Actually, Monsieur Candie sir, there's something I ain't told you about yet.
Calvin: What?
Stephen: Uh, Hildi 'in the hot box.
Calvin: Well what's she doin' there?
Stephen: What you think she doin' there, in the hot box? She been punished!
Calvin: Well what did she do?
Stephen: She run off again.
Calvin: Jesus Christ, Stephen! How many people run away while I was gone?
Stephen: Two.
Calvin: Well when did she go?
Stephen: Last night. They brung her back this morning.
Calvin: How long she been in the box?
Stephen: How long you think she been in there? All damn day! And the little bitch got ten more days to be in there.
Calvin: Take her out.
Stephen: Take her out? Why?
Calvin: Because I said so, that's why! Dr. Schultz is my guest. Hildi is my nigger. Southern hospitality dictates I make her available to him.
Stephen: But Monsieur Candie, she run off.
Calvin: Christ, Stephen! What is the point of having a nigger that speaks German if you can't wheel 'em out when you have a German guest? Now I realize it is an inconvenience. Still, you take her ass out!
Stephen: Yes sir.
Dr. King Schultz: Lori Lee! Will you and Cora be responsible for getting her cleaned up and presentable for Dr.Schultz, here?
Lara: Of course, darling.
Calvin: Now, gentlemen, I do apologize; but, I am weary from our travels beyond words. It is time for me to rest my tired eyes.
[kisses Lori Lee on the lips]
Stephen: [to the Overseers] Ya'll done heard the man! Get her ass up outta there! Go! Come here. Get her over there and get her cleaned up and bring her back over here to, uh, Doctor -
[to Schultz]
Stephen: What did you say your name was? Shoots?
Dr. King Schultz: Shultz.

Dr. King Schultz: [after Calvin Candie brings a box into his dining room and takes a human skull out of it] Who is your little friend?
Calvin: This is Ben. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. Old Ben took care of me. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now if I was holding a skull of a... of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility.
[Turns to Django]
Calvin: Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben.

Dr. King Schultz: [to Django after shooting Calvin] I'm sorry...
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz: I couldn't resist.
[Butch raises his gun and shoots at Schultz]

Big: Uh, Betina?
Betina: Yes sir, Big Daddy?
Big: Uh...
[to Schultz]
Big: What's your Jimmie's name again?
Dr. King Schultz: Django.
Big: Django!
[to Betina]
Big: Betina, sugar, could you take Django there and take him around the grounds here and show him all the pretty stuff?
Betina: As you please, Big Daddy!
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, Mr. Bennett, I must remind you, Django is a free man. He cannot be treated like a slave. He... within the boundaries of good taste, he must be treated as an extension of myself.
Big: Understood. Betina, sugar?
Betina: Yes?
Big: Django isn't a slave. Django is a free man. You understand?
[Betina pauses]
Big: You can't treat him like any of the other niggers around here, 'cause he ain't like any of the other nigger around here. Ya got it?
Betina: You mean, you want me to actually treat him like white folks?
Big: No, that's not what I said!
Betina: Then I don't know what you want, Big Daddy!
Big: Yes, I can see that. Uh, what's the name of that peckerwood boy from town that works with the glass? His momma work at the lumberyard...
Big: Oh, you mean Jerry?
Big: That's the boy's name, Jerry!
[to Betina]
Big: You know Jerry, don't ya, sugar?
Betina: Yes, Big Daddy.
Big: Well, that's it then! Just treat him like you would Jerry!

Big: It's against the law for niggers to ride horses in this territory.
Dr. King Schultz: This is my valet. My valet does not walk.
Big: I said, niggers on horses...
Dr. King Schultz: His name is Django. He's a free man. He can ride what he pleases!
Big: Not on my property. Not around my niggers he can't!
Dr. King Schultz: My good sir, perhaps we got off on the wrong boot. Allow me to unring this bell! My name is Dr. King Schultz, this is my valet, Django, and these are our horses, Tony and Fritz.
[Fritz the horse does his bow, making the slave girls giggle]
Dr. King Schultz: Mr. Bennett, I've been lead to believe you're a gentleman and a business man. And it is in these attributes we've ridden from Texas to Tennessee to parlay with you now. I wish to purchase one of your nigger gals!
Big: You and your Jimmie rode from Texas to Tennessee, to buy one of my nigger gals, no appointment, no nothin'?
Dr. King Schultz: Well, I'm afraid so!
Big: Well what if I say, I don't like you, or your fancy pants nigger, and I wouldn't sell you a tinkers damn! Now, what'cha got to say about that?
Dr. King Schultz: [Django looks at Schultz, Schultz looks at him and looks back up at Big Daddy] Mr. Bennett! If you are the business man I've been led to believe you to be, I have five thousand things I might say that could change your mind.
Big: [smiles] Well, c'mon inside and get yourself somethin' cool to drank!

Dr. King Schultz: [in disbelief] Let me get this straight: Your slave wife speaks German and her name is Broomhilda von Schaft?
Django: Yep.

Dr. King Schultz: And as if on cue, here comes the sheriff!
Sheriff: [Comes in tavern] Okay, boys, fun's over! Come on out.
[Bill Sharp leads Schultz and Django outside while an anxious crowd watches]
Sheriff: Alright folks, calm down! Go about your business. The jokers will be gone soon.
[Turns to Schultz and Django]
Sheriff: Now, why do ya'll wanna come into my town and start trouble? And scare all of these nice people? You ain't got nothing better to do than to come into Bill Sharp's town and show your ass-!
[Dr. Schultz suddenly raises his derringer and shoots the sheriff in the stomach]

Dr. King Schultz: Do most slaves believe in marriage?
Django: Oh, me and wife did. Old Man Carrucan didn't. That's why we, uh, we run off.
Old: [During Django's flashback when he was a slave on the Carrucan plantation] Django... Django... Django... You got sand, Django. Boy's got sand! I got no use for a nigger with sand.
[Django, with a metal collar around his neck and face, looks on]
Old: I want you to burn a runaway "R" right here on his cheek, and the girl, too.
[Django groans]
Old: And I want you to take them to the Greenville auction and sell them. Both of them... separately.
[Django looks at Old Man Carrucan with rage]
Old: And this one... you will sell him cheap!

Dr. King Schultz: Well, Brünnhilde was a princess. She was a daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Anyways, Her father is really mad at her.
Django: What she do?
Dr. King Schultz: I can't exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of the mountain.
Django: Broomhilda's on a mountain?
Dr. King Schultz: It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain. And he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And there, Brünnhilde shall remain. Unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.
Django: Does a fella arise?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, Django, as a matter of fact, he does. A fella named Siegfried.
Django: Does Siegfried save her?
Dr. King Schultz: [Nods] Quiet spectacularly so. He scales the mountain, because he's not afraid of it. He slays the dragon, because he's not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire... because Brünnhilde's worth it.
Django: I know how he feel.

Ace: [as Dr. Schultz questions Django] Hey! Stop talking to him like that.
Dr. King Schultz: [looks to Ace] Like what?
Ace: Like that.
Dr. King Schultz: My dear sir, I am simply trying to ascertain...
Ace: Speak English, goddamn it.
Dr. King Schultz: Everybody calm down. I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.
Ace: I don't care. No sale. Now off with you.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh don't be ridiculous. Of course they're for sale.
Ace: [points shotgun at Schultz] Move it.
Dr. King Schultz: My good man, did you simply get carried away with your dramatic gesture, or are you pointing your weapon at me with lethal intention?
Ace: [cocks shotgun] Last chance, fancy pants.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh well, very well.
[pulls out pistol and shoots Ace and Dicky's horse]

Dr. King Schultz: Let's just hope she works in the house, not in the field.
Django: Oh, no, she ain't no field nigger. She... She pretty. And she talk good, too. But when they tore her back up and then they... burned that runaway "r" on her cheek... they goddamned her. She ain't no field nigger but she ain't good enough for the house no more either. They gonna try to make her a comfort girl.
Dr. King Schultz: What's a comfort...? Oh.