The Best Gimli Quotes

Gimli: Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?

- Man: Hold!
Gimli: Aragorn.
- Let's find some food.

[sounds of trees 'speaking' is heard]
Aragorn: Gimli, lower your axe.
Legolas: They have feelings, my friend. The elves began it, waking up the trees, teaching them to speak.
Gimli: Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about, hmm... except the consistency of squirrel droppings?

Gamling: Aragorn!
- Fall back to the keep!
- Get your men out of there!
Gimli: What are you doing?
- What are you stopping for?

- Woman: He's alive!
Gimli: Where is he? Where is he?
- Get out of the way!
- I'm going to kill him!
- You are the luckiest, the canniest...
- And the most reckless man
- I ever knew.
- Bless you, laddie.
- Gimli, where is the king?

- They grow nervous in the shadow of the mountain.
Gimli: That road there...
- Where does that lead?
- It is the road to the dimholt, the door under the mountain.
- None who venture there ever return.
- That mountain is evil.

Gimli: Whatever luck you live by... let's hope it lasts the night.
Legolas: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
Gimli: Let's hope they last the night...

Gimli: I have taken my worst wound at this parting...
- Having looked my last upon that which is fairest.
- Henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me.
- What was her gift?
- I asked her for one hair from her golden head.
- She gave me three.

Aragorn: [to Frodo] If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword...
Legolas: And you have my bow.
Gimli: And *my* axe.
Boromir: You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done.

- You must lead the people to helm's deep, and make haste.
- I can fight.
- No!
- You must do this, for me.
- Follow me! Hyah!
Gimli: Fonnard. I mean, charge fonnard.
Eowyn: Make for the lower ground!
- That's it! Go on!
- Stay together!

- A scout!
- What is it? What do you see?
- Warg! We're under attack!
- Get them out of here!
- All riders to the head of the column.
Gimli: Come on. Get me up here. I'm a rider.
- Come on!

[in a drinking game]
Gimli: It's the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy woman.
[he burps]
Legolas: I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.
Gimli: What did I say? He can't hold his liquor.
[Gimli passes out]
Legolas: [to Eomer who is watching] Game over.

Eomer: What business does an Elf, a Man, and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!
Gimli: Give me your name, Horse-master, and I shall give you mine.
Eomer: [dismounts his horse] I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.
Legolas: [fits an arrow to his bow at lightning speed] You would die before your stroke fell.
[Rohirrim point their spears at Legolas]
Aragorn: [signals for Legolas to lower his weapon] I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Glóin, and Legolas of the Woodland Realm. We are friends of Rohan, and of Théoden, your King.
Eomer: Théoden no longer recognizes friend from foe. Not even his own kin.
[takes off helmet]
Eomer: Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands. My company are those loyal to Rohan, and for that we are banished. The White Wizard is cunning. He walks here and there, they say, as an old man hooded and cloaked. And everywhere his spies slip past our nets.
Aragorn: We are no spies. We track a party of Uruk-Hai, westward across the plain. They have taken two of our friends captive.
Eomer: The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night.
Gimli: But there were two Hobbits! Did you see two Hobbits with 'em?
Aragorn: They would be small. Only children to your eyes.
Eomer: We left none alive. We piled the carcasses and burned them.
Gimli: Dead?
Eomer: I am sorry.
[Éomer whistles a signal]
Eomer: Hasufel! Arod! May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters. Farewell.
[puts on helmet, mounts his horse]
Eomer: Look for your friends. But do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands.

Gimli: Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
Legolas: What about side by side with a friend?
Gimli: Aye. I could do that.

Treebeard: We have just agreed...
[Merry and Pippin lean in]
Merry: Yes?
Treebeard: I have told your names to the Entmoot, and we have agreed you are not Orcs.
Pippin: Well, that's good news.

Witch: You fool.
- No man can kill me.
- Die now.
- I am no man.
- Fifteen! Sixteen!
Gimli: Seventeen!
- Merry!

Gimli: Well, this is a thing unheard of. An Elf would go underground, where a Dwarf dare not. Oh, I'd never hear the end of it.

Treebeard: Many of these trees were my friends. Creatures I had known from nut or acorn.
Pippin: I'm sorry, Treebeard.
Treebeard: They had voices of their own. Saruman! A wizard should know better!

Gimli: [upon leaving Lorien and Galadriel] I have been dealt a wound beyond all healing, for I have looked the last... upon that which was fairest.
[sighs]
Gimli: Henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me.
Legolas: What was it?
Gimli: I asked for one hair from her golden head... she gave me three.

[after Legolas single-handedly takes out an Oliphant and its drivers]
Gimli: That still only counts as one.

Gimli: Bring your pretty face to my ax.
- That one counts as mine!
- Stinking creature.

Pippin: I feel like I'm back at the Green Dragon.
Merry: [through a mouthful of food] Mm. Green Dragon.
Pippin: A mug of ale in my hand, putting my feet up on a settle after a hard day's work.
Merry: Only, you've never done a hard day's work.
[They laugh; Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli ride up. Merry stands and gives an exaggerated bow]
Merry: Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!
Gimli: You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you... feasting and... and *smoking.*
Pippin: We are sitting on a field of victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts.
[Merry blows a smoke ring]
Pippin: The salted pork is particularly good.
Gimli: [eagerly] Salted pork?
Gandalf: [exasperated] Hobbits.
Merry: We're under orders from Treebeard, who has taken over management of Isengard.
Treebeard: [as they walk toward the tower] Hroom, young Master Gandalf! I'm relieved that you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master, but there's a wizard to manage here. Locked his tower.

Treebeard: [after seeing the torn-down forest around Isengard] Saruman! A wizard should know better!
[loud yell]
Treebeard: There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery.
Pippin: Look, the trees! They're moving!
Merry: Where are they going?
Treebeard: They have business with the Orcs. My business is with Isengard tonight, with rock and stone.
[Ents emerge from the woods, following Treebeard]
Treebeard: Hroom, hm, come, my friends. The Ents are going to war. It is likely that we go to our doom. The last march of the Ents.

[after Legolas has shot and killed a Warg heading toward Gimli]
Gimli: But that one counts as mine!

Gimli: Well, here's one Dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox.
[Elves suddenly appear, covering them with arrows at point-blank range]
Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark.

Aragorn: [looking at defenders of Helm's Deep] Farmers, ferriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers.
Gimli: Most have seen too many winters.
Legolas: Or too few.

Gimli: It's true you don't see many Dwarf-women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for Dwarf-men.
Aragorn: [whispering to Eowyn] It's the beards.
Gimli: And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf-women, and that Dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!
[Eowyn laughs]
Gimli: Which is, of course, ridiculous.

Gimli: You could have picked a better spot.
- Well, lad, whatever luck you live by, let's hope it lasts the night.
- Your friends are with you, aragorn.
- Let's hope they last the night.

Gimli: Just where do you think you're off to?
- This time you must stay, gimli.
- Mm.
- Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?
- You might as well accept it.
- We're going with you, laddie.

[from extended version]
Legolas: Final count, forty-two.
Gimli: Forty-two? Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. Hmph! I myself am sitting pretty on forty-THREE.
Legolas: [takes out an arrow, and shoots the Uruk Gimli is sitting on in the stomach] Forty-three.
Gimli: He was already dead!
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was *twitching* because he's got my axe EMBEDDED IN HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM!
[rattles the handle of his ax; the Uruk's arms and legs twitch]

[during the Battle of Helm's Deep, Gimli has killed an Uruk-Hai warrior]
Gimli: Legolas! Two already!
Legolas: I'm on seventeen!
Gimli: Huh? I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!
[kills another one]
Legolas: [shoots two more arrows] Nineteen!

Gandalf: He's suffered a defeat, yes, but... behind the walls of Mordor, our enemy is regrouping.
Gimli: Let him stay there. *Let him rot!* Why should we care?
Gandalf: Because ten-thousand Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom. I've sent him to his death.
Aragorn: No. There is still hope for Frodo. He needs time... and safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth. We can give him that.
Gimli: How?
Aragorn: Draw out Sauron's armies. Empty his lands. Then we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate.
Eomer: We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms.
Aragorn: Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves.
Legolas: A diversion.
Gimli: Certainty of death, *small* chance of success... What are we waiting for?
Gandalf: Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait.
Aragorn: [knowingly] No, I think he will.

Elrond: Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, you have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction; none can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the ring, Frodo.
Boromir: [Frodo puts the ring on a stand for all to see] So it is true. In a dream, I saw the Eastern sky grow dark. But in the West, a pale light lingered. A voice was crying, "The doom is near at hand, Isildur's Bane is found."
[reaches for the Ring]
Boromir: Isildur's Bane...
Aragorn: Boromir!
Gandalf: [speaking the words engraved on the Ring] Ash Nazg Durbatuluk, Ash Nazg Gimbatul, Ash Nazg Thrakatuluk, Agh Burzum-ishi Krimpatul.
[the light darkens and the air rumbles; Boromir backs away from the Ring]
Elrond: Never before has anyone dared utter words of that tongue here, in Imladris.
Gandalf: I do not ask for pardon, Master Elrond, for the Black Speech of Mordor may yet be heard in every corner of the West! The Ring is altogether evil.
Boromir: It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him.
Aragorn: You cannot wield it. None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master.
Boromir: And what would a Ranger know of this matter?
Legolas: This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance.
Boromir: Aragorn? This is Isildur's heir?
Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor
Aragorn: [Elvish] Sit down, Legolas.
Boromir: Gondor has no King. Gondor needs no King.
Gandalf: Aragorn is right. We cannot use it.
Elrond: You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed.
Gimli: Then what are we waiting for?
[He strikes the ring with his axe; the axe breaks, leaving the ring intact]
Elrond: The ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess. The ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. The ring must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this.
Boromir: One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. The great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire, ash, and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten-thousand men could you do this. It is folly.
Legolas: Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed!
Gimli: And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?
Boromir: And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?
Gimli: I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf! Never trust an Elf!

[Aragorn tosses Sam over a gap, and then sets his eyes on Gimli]
Gimli: Nobody tosses a Dwarf.
[Gimli leaps, but is balancing off the edge, so Legolas grabs his beard]
Gimli: Not the beard!

Aragorn: Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth! Let justice be done upon him!
The: My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?
Gandalf: We do not come to treat with Sauron, faithless and accursed. Tell your master this: the armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return.
The: Ahh, old Greybeard. I have a token I was bidden to show thee.
[Pulls out Frodo's mithril vest and throws it at them]
Pippin: [whispers] Frodo...
Gandalf: Silence.
Merry: No!
Gandalf: Silence!
The: The halfling was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his host. Who would've thought one so small could endure so much pain? And he did, Gandalf, he did.
[pause; Aragorn rides towards the Mouth of Sauron]
The: And who is this? Isildur's heir? It takes more to make a King that a broken Elvish blade...
[Aragorn cuts off the Mouth of Sauron's head with one stroke of Anduril]
Gimli: I guess that concludes negotiations.
Aragorn: [to Gandalf] I do not believe it! I will not!

[scene from extended version]
Gimli: This new Gandalf is more grumpy than the old one.

Gimli: Not the beard!

Eomer: What business does an Elf, Man, and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly.
Gimli: Give me your name, horse-master, and I shall give you mine.
Eomer: [dismounts] I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.
Legolas: [draws his bow and aims at arrow at Eomer's throat] You would die before your stroke fell.

Gimli: [failing to see over the wall] What's happening out there?
Legolas: Shall I describe it to you?
Gimli: [turns] Hmm?
Legolas: Or would you like me to find you a box?
[Gimli laughs]

[a wall of soldiers line the ramparts - the top of Gimli's helm barely peeks over the top]
Gimli: [to Legolas] You could have picked a better spot.

Legolas: Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore.
[Aragorn does not move]
Legolas: You mean not to follow them.
Aragorn: Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands.
Gimli: Then it has all been in vain. The fellowship has failed.
Aragorn: Not if we hold true to each other.
[pause]
Aragorn: We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let's hunt some Orc.
Gimli: YES!

Gimli: [to a Warg] Bring your pretty face to my axe.

[Aragorn and Gimli are looking at the Uruk-hai, but are separated from them by a gap]
Gimli: Oh come on, we can take 'em.
Aragorn: It's a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance, you'll have to toss me.
Gimli: [pauses, looks up at Aragorn]
Gimli: Don't tell the Elf.
Aragorn: Not a word.

- Our people are safe.
- We have paid for it with many lives.
Gimli: My lady.
- Lord aragorn...
- Where is he?
- He fell.