The Best Moon Quotes

Sam: Gerty, is there someone else in the room?

Sam: You look like a radioactive tampon... like a banana with a yeast infection.

Sam: [crying] I wanna go home.

GERTY: I hope life on Earth is everything you remember it to be.

Sam: Well then I'm goin back, that's it for me.
Clone: Pfft!
Sam: What?
Clone: Is that what you really think?
Sam: Yea, I've got a contract... I'm, I'm goin home.
Clone: You're a fuckin' clone, you don't have shit!
Sam: Hey, I'm goin home!
Clone: You're not going anywhere! You know you've been up here too long man, you've lost your marbles. Whuddya think, that Tess is back home waiting for you on the sofa in lingerie? What about the original Sam, Uh?
Sam: I'M THE ORIGINAL SAM... I'M SAM FUCKIN' BELL, ME! ME!
Clone: Hey, whoa!
Sam: Gerty, am I clone?
GERTY: Are you hungry?
Clone: Hey, hey... don't get your fuckin' panties in a twist. I'm in the same boat, asshole!

Clone: Are you comfortable?
Sam: [quietly] No.
Clone: What?
Sam: No... . What if I have to take a shit?
Clone: [laughing] You just... you'll have to hold it in pal!
Sam: For three days?
Clone: That's the way it goes.

[last lines]
Talk: You know what, he's one of two things. He's a whacko or an illegal immigrant. Either way, they need to lock him up. Line two!

Clone: Hey Geppetto wake up! You really think they give a shit about us? They're laughing all the way to the bank.

GERTY: Sam, get some sleep. You're very tired.

Sam: Listen, why don't you relax. Why don't you take a pill, bake a cake, go read the encyclopedia.

Sam: You've been up here too long man. You've lost your marbles.

GERTY: Would you like some hot sauce on your beans?
Sam: No, my tummy's a little tender, actually. But, thank you. Thank you, Gerty.

[first lines]
Sam: [voiceover] There was a time when energy was a dirty word. When turning on your light was a hard choice. Cities in brown-out. Food shortages, cars burning fuel to run. But that was the past. Where are we now? How do we make the world so much better? Make deserts bloom? Right now we are the largest producer of fusion energy in the world. The energy of the sun trapped in rock, harvested by machine from the far side of the moon. Today we deliver enough clean-burning helium-3 to supply the energy needs of nearly 70% of the planet. Who'd have thought? All the energy we ever needed right above our heads. The power of the moon. The power of our future.
[the animated logo of "sun moon earth energy future LUNAR INDUSTRIES LTD." is shown]

GERTY: Sam, I can only account for what occurs on this base.

[Sam is making a video phone call from the Moon to his home on Earth, while covering the camera with his hand]
Eve: Hello?
Sam: Is this the Bell residence?
Eve: This is the Bell residence. Could you call back? There's something wrong with the picture.
Sam: I'm trying to reach Tess Bell.
Eve: I'm sorry, she passed away some years ago.
[long pause]
Sam: Are you sure?
Eve: Yeah, I think so. I'm her daughter. Can I help you?
Sam: ...Eve?
Eve: Yeah.
Sam: Hi! Hi, Eve. How old... How old are you now?
Eve: I'm 15. Do I know you?
Sam: Sweetheart... How did mommy die, sweetheart? How did mommy die?
Eve: [turns around and calls to someone off-screen] Dad!
Dad: Yeah.
Eve: There's someone asking about mom.
Dad: Who's asking about mom?
[Sam immediately breaks off the call]

Sam: You'd be okay?
GERTY: Of course. The new Sam and I will be back to our programming as soon as I finished rebooting.
Sam: Gerty, we're not programmed. We're people, do you understand?

Sam: Are you OK with that?
GERTY: I'm here to keep you safe, Sam. I want to help you.

[repeated line]
Computer: Searching for long-range comms.