The Best Reese Quotes

Professor: Hello?
Joanna: Hello, everyone. I'm Joanna Loudon and this is my husband Dick.
Professor: I'm Professor Edward Bellows. And this is Nancy, Amy, Reese and Kendra.
Joanna: Well, nice to meet all of you. Please, everyone, help yourselves to refreshments.
Professor: Oh, thank you.
Dick: It may just be a hunch, but I think by the end of the evening, you and Kendra...
[signals with his hands that they'll be friends as he walks into his office]
Professor: Your husband won't be joining us?
Joanna: Well, he has friends. I mean, he's got work to do.
Professor: Well, shall we get started? Amy, why don't you bring us up to date on our last meeting?
Amy: The meeting convened at 8 PM. The first order of business was to choose a date for our annual society dance, November 3rd. Is that alright with you, Joanna?
Joanna: Fine.
Amy: At 8:15, Reese read the treasurer's report, but then he thought he heard his wife calling him. So he went into the woods, turned into a raven and flew home.
Joanna: You turned into a raven?
Reese: It's the easiest one.
Professor: Thank you, Amy. And now I suppose the next order of business today should be to welcome Joanna Loudon
[applause]
Professor: and to initiate her into our little circle.
Joanna: [as they put a black veil on her] What's going on?
Amy: It's just our initiation ceremony, Joanna. I mean, if you want to be a witch, you have to marry the devil, right?
Joanna: What? Agh!
Professor: What's the matter? You don't like weddings?
Joanna: Who are you people?
Professor: The Elm Street Society.
Joanna: I mean, what are you?
Professor: Oh, a satanic cult. Everybody knows that.
Joanna: I didn't.
Professor: Really? Amy, I told you that newspaper ad wasn't clear.
Amy: Don't blame me. I laid all three versions of that ad on a bed of nightshade, and the sacred toad hopped right onto that one.
Professor: Oh, well then, Joanna must have misread it. Alright, Joanna. Now you'll relax once I anoint you with these bat livers.
Joanna: Dick!
Dick: [coming out of his office] What's going on?
Joanna: These people are witches.
Professor: Gee, Joanna. You say that like it's a dirty word.
Joanna: Out. Everybody, out. You too, out.
Professor: Joanna, give us a chance. You know, we're not so different than other people. We even have a credit union.
Joanna: Out!