Top 20 Quotes From Julia Duffy

Michael: What is this?
Stephanie: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
[begins to sob]
Michael: You made these by yourself?
Stephanie: [Sobbing] I tried but Joanna had to help.

Stephanie: Michael, you've walked out on me twice. I think you owe me an apology and a precious stone.

Carlene: You know, Allison, you remind me of someone I saw on the Discovery Channel last night.
Allison: And who might that be, Carlene?
Carlene: Adolf Hitler.

Stephanie: There's nothing sadder than a perky blonde on the skids.

Bunny: [Hester has unexpectedly shown up at the Radwells'] I beg your pardon, but who are you?
Chad: Uh, she is my... sober coach.
Chanel: What?
Tad: Chad, I didn't know you had a drinking problem.
Chad: Neither did I. That is how insidious alcoholism is, dad.

Anthony: [in a bubble bath, ringing a bell persistently]
Allison: [walks into bathroom exasperated] What is it this time?
Anthony: I need a hand towel.
Allison: I already gave you a hand towel!
Anthony: Well this one isn't fluffy enough!
Allison: This one is PLENTY fluffy, I fluffed it myself!
Anthony: Well, you need to work on your fluffin'!

Larry: Are you hungry?
Stephanie: I'm starved!
Larry: What part of the squirrel do you like best?

Michael: Steph, did you ever want the Professor and Mary Ann to get together?
Stephanie: Aren't they other people?

Stephanie: Who would have a baby if they thought about what it was going to look like when it was ninety?

Stephanie: You know, sometimes I think the whole world is against me.
Dick: You're right, Stephanie. You know, every Thursday myself and four-and-a-half billion other people get together and try to figure out how to make life miserable for you.
Stephanie: Well tell them for me they're doing a great job.

Mary: Anthony, where have you been all morning?
Anthony: The question should be, "Where have I been all night?" I'll tell you where I've been. I was locked in the basement of Suzanne's house!
Allison: Oh, were you locked in there? I thought I heard something.
Anthony: Did it sound anything like someone shouting "Let me out of here, bitch!"?

Allison: Oh, Julia, just so you know, the next time you see your lawyer on company time, it's going on your record.
Julia: Just so YOU know... The next time you speak to me in that tone of voice, you're going to the moon.

Michael: Oh, Cupcake, our photo session is this Friday at six.
Stephanie: Perfect! Early evening is one of my five best times of day.
Joanna: Didn't you two get your pictures taken *last* month?
Stephanie: Joanna, you'd get your picture taken a lot, too, if you looked like this.

Stephanie: If I can't drive around in a convertible with the wind blowing in my hair, what's the point of having a head?

Stephanie: [observing the living room's layout in the cabin, and remembering the classic "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" tale] Wait a minute --- three chairs, three bowls, and three beds...! How far did I go during my walk?

Chad: Hello, I'm Chad Radwell. This year, I'm thankful for someone who's very special to me. Without this person, I wouldn't be the man I am right now. In fact, I wouldn't be here at all.
[Chanel assumes he's talking about her]
Chad: I am, of course, referring to the serial killer who is stalking the campus of Wallace University. I am so thankful that he, for whatever reason, has not murdered me yet. I am so, so grateful.
Bunny: I'm also thankful to that serial killer for not killing you, Chad. And that you will have a long, long, long life. You have such a vast future ahead of you.
[intentionally goading Chanel]
Bunny: You'll meet so many new and different women! So many wonderful women to go out with, and break up with, and move on from!
Chanel: Well, you should be thankful that this table is too long for me to reach across and strangle you, bitch!

Stephanie: Frankly, Dick, being attractive can be a real burden.
Dick: Yes, it's true.
Stephanie: You don't know how lucky you are.

[Holding back tears]
Stephanie: I found out I like bowling.
[She starts crying]

Stephanie: All you people ever talk about is television. Everyone in my world is obsessed with TV.
George: I'm not.
Stephanie: Well, you're also not part of my world, George. Oh. OK. You're on the fringe.

Stephanie: I know it's only a matter of time before you drop me. I'd lose respect for you if you didn't.