The Best Burt Reynolds Quotes

[last lines]
Burt: Hello.
[the girls are shocked to see Burt Reynolds at their door]
Burt: Sophia around?
Sophia: Oh, hi, Burt!
Burt: How about a little lunch?
Sophia: Listen, if you're buyin', how about a big lunch?
Burt: Great.
Blanche: My god. You're Mr. Burt Reynolds.
Burt: I hope so. Otherwise, I got the wrong underwear on.
[to Sophia]
Burt: These the roommates you told me about?
Sophia: Yeah.
Burt: Which one's the slut?
Blanche: I am!

[while being chased by the cops at high speed]
Burt: Whoa! Now it's officially a chase.
Sterling: Hooray.
Burt: You know what your problem is?
Sterling: My pants are wet?
Burt: You only see your mother as your mother. But she's also a person. She has hopes, and dreams, and fears, and needs...
Sterling: Don't make it weirder!
Burt: Not sexual needs! Well, maybe those too, but personal. Professional. All that stuff that makes a person who they are. And until you -
[a police car pulls up next to them]
Burt: Oops. Hang on!
[He sideswipes the police car, sending it flying and landing upside-down on top of another]
Sterling: Holy shit! BURT REYNOLDS!
Burt: Hey, if you just pay attention, you might just learn something here.
Sterling: I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my giant throbbing erection!
[Burt brakes hard, causing Archer to slam his face on the dashboard]
Sterling: OW!
Burt: How 'bout now?
Sterling: It's gone. I'm all ears.
Burt: Good, because my point is - oh, wait, wait, you're gonna wanna see this!
Sterling: See wh -
[He looks ahead; the car is speeding towards a very narrow alley]
Sterling: No! BURT, NOOO!
[Burt laughs]
Sterling: Please don't do this!
[the car hits a curb, flipping it sideways onto two tires]
Sterling: OH, SHIIIIIIIIT!
[Burt slides the car perfectly down the alley and out the other side while the police cars pile up at the entrance]
Sterling: My pants are now literally wet.
Burt: And my point is, until you can look at your mother and see her not just as your mother, but as a person - a real person - you can't grow up.
[pause]
Sterling: Huh.
Burt: Food for thought. And if I were you, I'd come to terms with that, because I plan on seeing a lot of her. Oh, uh... by "a lot of her", I mean...
Sterling: I get it! But I guess you're outta luck, because we had a...
[Burt points; Krieger's van and the Cuban hit squad are straight ahead]
Sterling: ... bet. Goddamn it.
Burt: Now whaddya say we have some fun?
Sterling: [Holding up his pistols] Whatever.

Burt: You're kidding me...
Sterling: I know... drives me nuts... like the world's slowest elevator.
Burt: You should get a bat-pole.
Sterling: Nine thousand bucks.
Burt: What?
Sterling: Lowest quote I got.
Burt: Well, that's ridiculous.
Sterling: Basically just putting a pole where the garbage chute already is, but the co-op board was like, "But what do we do with the garbage?"
Burt: Yeah, but you could still throw it down the... whatever... the same shaft.
Sterling: I know!
Burt: And then you'll have some garbage to land on.
Sterling: If you're coming in hot, I know. It's a win-win.
Burt: And you were gonna pay for it yourself.
Sterling: Yep.
Burt: No assessment or anything.
Sterling: Yep.
Burt: Ridiculous.
Sterling: Preaching to the choir buddy.

Sterling: It's pretty hard to stay anonymous when you're the world's greatest secret agent.
Burt: Well, calling yourself that can't help.