The Best Coach Nate Scarborough Quotes

Joey: Wow, no bullshit! Football, against the guards?
Coach: Yep, full contact.
Joey: Captain Knauer is the quarterback?
Caretaker: Yep.
Joey: So I get to tackle him?
Paul: Yeah, either that you can hit him over the head with that hammer.
Joey: I wanna hurt him, not kill him.
Caretaker: Lets get outta here before that thing bites someone!

Guard: [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget] That's how a white man runs the football!
Earl: Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!
Guard: Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?
Earl: Switowski! Come here!
[he comes running over]
Earl: You know what he said in the library?
[whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head]
Earl: Yes. Him. Out!
Switowski: [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs] I think I made-ed him shit himself.
Coach: I think he just shit himself.
All: I think he just shit himself.
Stretcher: Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!
Switowski: [jumps up and down celebrating] See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!
Earl: [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher] I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!
Deacon: And some diapers!

Joey: Wow no bullshit! Real football, against the guards?
Coach: Full contact.
Joey: Captain Knauer is the quarterback?
Caretaker: Yep.
Joey: So I get to tackle him?
Paul: Yeah, you can either tackle him or you can hit him over the head with that *hammer*.
Joey: [looks down at his crotch] I wanna hurt him, not kill him.
Caretaker: Lets get outta here before that thing bites someone!
Paul: Alright we'll see you and your pet iguana at practice.