The Best Dutch Leitner Quotes

Dutch: Remember, one word, one word from anybody
[points a gun at Chester]
Dutch: ... and he dies.
Benson: Anything in particular we'd have to say?

Danny: Aunt Jessie?
Jessica: Yes, what?
Danny: Do you think our family's crazy?
The: Hit the dirt everybody!
[grabs a pineapple from a bowl of fruit]
The: It's a grenade!
[throws it through the window and dives to the floor]
Chester: Major, look what you've done.
[explosion!]
Dutch: [looks out the window] The gas main they were working on down the street; it blew up.
Jessica: Thank goodness, I thought it was the pineapple. Danny, what was your question?
Danny: Never mind.

Jessica: Dutch, tell me: did you really kill a man?
Dutch: Yeah.
Jessica: Dead? You shot him dead?
Dutch: That's usually what happens in a successful killing.
Jessica: Of course.
Dutch: You see, what happened is that when I got out of the Navy, I borrowed some money to go into business. The banks all turned me down for a loan, so I went to a local loan company. They gave me $5000 at a very high rate of interest. In the first week, when I couldn't come up with the dough, they broke my fingers. The second week, they broke my nose, two ribs and my knee. Plus the guy who was beating me up had a very bad cold, so I ended up with a terrible cough. The next week, they was gonna break my head, but I convinced them not to.
Jessica: How?
Dutch: Well, I talked to them for a while and then I shot 'em.
Jessica: I think that should be considered self-defense.
Dutch: It was, but the guy who owned the loan company turned out to be the Chief of Police.

Eunice: I can't believe I'm sitting here laughing with a killer.
Dutch: I can't believe I'm sitting here with a rich girl.
Eunice: Well, you're really very nice.
Dutch: So are you. And you're very pretty.
Eunice: [Coyly] Oh.
Dutch: It's too bad I'm not a rapist.