The Best Eldon Michaels Quotes

Eldon: Harper, miserable recreant. If you wanted to face me, do it yourself. Don't involve these deluded lamebrains.
Simon: Why have you brought him here?
Corey: What should we have done?
Simon: Kill him.
Corey: But the Sentries' code of honor...
Eldon: Like he knows anything about honor.
Simon: Silence! He is the Dark Regent. He must be destroyed.
Eldon: Dark Regent?
Simon: He's plotted against me.
Eldon: It was a lawsuit, you mad...
[screaming as he gets electrocuted]
Eldon: Simon, if 20%'s too much, I'll settle for 15.

[last lines]
Eldon: What do you want?
Corey: You left this at Sentrycroft, Mr. Michaels.
Burfid: It's too important to trust anyone but you.
Eldon: Thanks.
Corey: Wait! What did the Wise Ones mean when they said "seek the center"?
Dempsey: And why did they send Aaron to Pyrapera?
Burfid: And the Golden Feather, what's with that?
Eldon: Hey, it's just a game.
Corey: But you know.
Burfid: You're the man.
Dempsey: Yeah, the real Wise One.
Eldon: Well, if you really wanna know, it all started a long, long time ago in a cosmos far from Earth...

Batman: Eldon Michaels, I presume.
Eldon: I thought you were somebody else.
Batman: Obviously. What's this, a word processor?
Eldon: It's a typewriter. It belonged to Philip K. Dick, the greatest writer who ever lived.
Batman: You're a writer, too?
Eldon: Well, duh.
Batman: Why is Simon Harper after you?
Eldon: Why? Because he's a two-faced Janus, a pirate, and a charlatan. And I can prove it.