The Best Simon Harper Quotes

Simon: Quite resourceful. I'll have to program that strategy into my next game.
Batman: And what kind of game is that, Mr. Harper?
Simon: What do you mean?
Batman: I met some of your Sentries last night. They didn't play by the rules.
Simon: You must understand. There are thousands of hardcore fans. Many dress up as my characters. Conventions, that sort of thing. I have absolutely no control over them. In fact, that very fan fanaticism is why I've had to install such elaborate security measures.
Batman: So you don't know anything about those Sentries at the Hall of Records?
Simon: I'm sorry. I wish I could be more help, but...
[looking around, he sees Batman is gone]

Dempsey: What happened, Wise One?
Simon: The Dark Regent's servants have been here.
Dempsey: We'll find them.
Simon: No. I have a more important mission for you. The Dark Regent himself is here on Earth. He's taken on a human form; disguised as a man named Eldon Michaels.
Batman: [eavesdropping outside] Eldon Michaels?
Corey: What are you saying?
Simon: "Sentries of the Last Cosmos" is no mere game. It simulates a real war. One being fought in the deepest reaches of space. For centuries, we Wise Ones have used it to recruit trainees like yourselves. Now, you must confront the Dark Regent to save our universe.

Corey: Mr. Harper...
Dempsey: Hey, that's the robe of the Wise One!
Burfid: [elbow-nudging him] Dempsey, shut up!
Simon: But he's quite right. This is the mantle worn by all the initiated. What you call "the Wise Ones". Too few against the minions of the Dark Regent. Come now, into the Sanctum of Sentries.

Eldon: Harper, miserable recreant. If you wanted to face me, do it yourself. Don't involve these deluded lamebrains.
Simon: Why have you brought him here?
Corey: What should we have done?
Simon: Kill him.
Corey: But the Sentries' code of honor...
Eldon: Like he knows anything about honor.
Simon: Silence! He is the Dark Regent. He must be destroyed.
Eldon: Dark Regent?
Simon: He's plotted against me.
Eldon: It was a lawsuit, you mad...
[screaming as he gets electrocuted]
Eldon: Simon, if 20%'s too much, I'll settle for 15.

Simon: All the "Last Cosmos" games are connected to this computer. From here, I keep track of many things. Including the players' scores.
Burfid: Schway!
Simon: You three represent the cream of the crop; the highest scorers in all Gotham.
Dempsey: Ultra-schway!
Simon: You are here because each one of you has shown extraordinary aptitude.
Corey: To us, "Last Cosmos" is more than a game.
Burfid: Yeah, it's our whole life.
Simon: Your devotion reflects a profound commitment to the ideals of the Sentries. But are you ready to take the next step?
Dempsey,27671: [two real Sentries swoop down] Whoa!
Corey: Wow!
Simon: Do you have what it takes to become real Sentries of the Last Cosmos?

Burfid: What is it?
Corey: "Sentries of the Last Cosmos, written by Eldon Michaels"?
Batman: Right. Michaels created the game. Harper just produced it. He was supposed to share the profits, but he went back on the deal.
Simon: It's a lie!
Batman: That's why he had you destroy the databank where the original contracts were stored.
Simon: Don't listen! He's just trying to cloud your minds.
Corey: [flipping through] It's all in here.
Burfid: There's where Zimzam learned to fly.
Dempsey: From the Eagles of Karisium.
Corey: And here's where Aaron gets the Golden Feather from Princess Alla.
Simon: I'll destroy you, you Pyraperan moon slug.
Batman: You're starting to believe your own fiction.