Top 30 Quotes From Erica Goldberg

Erica: You can't just change the rules!
Murray: That is a valid point. But guess what? Tough crap!

Erica: That is such a double standard!
Barry: No, it's not. It just means I win because I'm a boy and you're not.
Erica: That is the very definition of a double standard, idiot!

Adam: The Wonder Years is the best. Who doesn't love a kid looking back on his formative years with, I'm just gonna say it, wonder?
Brea: Except, I don't buy Kevin and Winnie. It's like 'why is she with him?'
Adam: What? He's a loveable everyboy with timeless and deceptive charm.
Brea: Ehh. He's short and has a weird voice. Plus, he's got that annoying best friend.
Dave: Paul's the breakout character. If anyone's annoying, it's the older brother.
Barry: Wayne rules. I like the way he doesn't think anything through.
Erica: I'm a fan of the older sister. Why don't they give her more stories?

Beverly: I'm a horrible mom.
Erica: None of us were at our best.

Erica: Oh, so you can dish it out but you can't take it.
Adam: We *always* take it! Your our big sister, you're supposed to protect us, but instead you always torment us.

Barry: [Murray and Erica have spotted Barry at the roller skating rink] Okay, I know how this looks.
Erica: Then you know it's hilarious, right?
Barry: You shut your face!
[Murray cackles with laughter]
Barry: So now you know. This is where I go on the weekend.
Murray: What happened to your rap club?
Barry: It was just my cover.
Erica: Okay, you know you're supposed to cover something embarrassing with something *less* embarrassing, right?
Barry: Your face is embarrassing! I've been coming here the past two months. Skating helps me blow off steam. You know? Roll it out.
Murray: [while Erica laughs] Roll it out.
[Murray joins in with Erica's laughter]
Barry: Go ahead, go ahead, keep laughing. Doesn't bother me. That's the great thing about this place. I get respect.
[another skater rolls by and slaps hands with Barry]
Murray: Yes, from a nine year old who just high-fived you.
Barry: He's almost eleven!

Erica: [shows up at a frat party in a bedsheet] Toga! Toga!
Lainey: [warningly] No, don't do that.

Erica: You may like the Beastie Boys, but you can't be like the Beastie Boys. They're three awesome musicians, and you're two hopeless dorks.
Barry: That's right. We need a third.
Erica: It feels like I could say anything at this point and you'd just do whatever you want.
Barry: She's right. Let's hold auditions!

Murray: You need to apologize to your mom.
Erica: I know...
Murray: Not just for you, for me. There's no food in the house, today I had to eat an apple.
Erica: I'm not apologizing because you had to eat fruit.
Murray: Running this house is your mom's job, a job that has no employee discounts or benefits, and her customers: jerks! Every *single* one of them!

Barry: Here's some pudding. Thought you might need it.
Erica: I don't need your pity pudding. Dammit, yes I do!
[Grabs pudding and starts wolfing it down]

Erica: [Looking at the classifieds] This one just says "Wanted: Lady."
Albert: Don't call that number.
Erica: Yeah, I know.

Erica: [the entire JTP is fighting over Erica] Oh my god, Naked Rob is naked under that coat!
'Naked': I wanted you to be the first girl to see me naked!

Barry: It's just pink eye. Everyone gets it.
Erica: Not everyone gets it from a kaleidoscope they find on the underpass.
Barry: Hey, the crusty puffiness in my eye is worth the view of the world this kaleidoscope will give me.
[puts it to his good eye]
Lainey: You know you're going to get it in your other eye.
Barry: Huh?

Beverly: You used to ride a bike, see plays and go to museums. What happened to the man I married?
Erica: Dad rode a bike?
Adam: Ha! That must have looked nuts!
Barry: That's like Charles Barkley jockeying a horse. I can't even imagine that.

Erica: Look at me, I had braces and glasses and frizzy hair!
Barry: Oh please!
[puts on his retainer]
Barry: Look at my braces! You get the cool metal ones, mine has a chin strap!

Erica: How is it my fault every boy in our school is an unbearable moron?
Lainey: And that's another thing. You have to stop calling everyone a moron.
Murray: Morons! You're being too loud. Go find another house to stupid up.
Barry: Oh, my God! You've become just like dad. Way to go, Mur-man. Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron has poisoned your daughter's lovelife and left her cold and alone.
Murray: So you're saying I've raised a daughter who won't go out with dumbass high school boys? I think I've done my job.

Lainey: You're sweet and kind, and I love you for that, but you're the opposite of punk rock.
Barry: Then I'll be the opposite of the opposite of punk rock!
Erica: So, punk rock?

Erica: That is the worse thing I've ever seen, and I see my father in his underwear every day.

Barry: Boy George, of the glam group Culture Club? What does he have that I don't have?
Erica: He's handsome, he's stylish, he's everything you're not.
Barry: We'll see about that. I'm flying to England and challenging him to a duel. Maybe I can show him my demo tape. No, no distractions!

Barry: Lainey and I want you to go on Dance Party U.S.A. with us.
Erica: [with pink eye, glasses, a bad curly perm and a neck brace] There's no way I can go on TV like this!
Barry: Sure you can.
Erica: How can you say that?
Barry: [gestures to her whole geeky appearance] This is how I feel every single day of my life. And after seeing you melt down in the cafeteria today, I don't want you to ever feel this bad again.

Erica: You have never stooped so low!
Beverly: Yes, I have. You just never caught me.

Erica: [Murray has instantly fallen asleep] How are you already asleep?
Beverly: He's deactivated.

Erica: Oh, my God. We're smart, ambitious women, and we're talking about scrunchies. Can't we talk about something more important?
Lainey: I have something. Wait, that's also about scrunchies.

Erica: [digging up the ground] How are you so good at this?
Beverly: Jazzercise builds upper body strength.

Beverly: Surprise! Geoff didn't cheat on you. I just said that to get you to come to my dance recital. Isn't that fun?
Erica: I drove here all the way from DC at 90 miles per hour with tears in my eyes!

Erica: Where are the car keys? We're going to the theater.
Beverly: No, you agreed we were going to spend the day bedazzling.
Erica: I'm pretty sure that was a dream.
Beverly: Well, nevertheless I have everything set up, so let's make those drab clothes sparkle.

Murray: You're going to hang out with your mom tomorrow.
Erica: Or what?
Murray: Or stuff that I don't care about, I'm going to start voicing my opinion on. Like your allowance. Gone.
Erica: What?
Murray: Your curfew? 6 P.M.
Erica: You can't do this!
Murray: The length you can wear your skirt. No skirts. Just pants, with pleats.

Adam: [singing off-key] Step by step, Left, right, left, we all fall down like toy soldiers
Erica: Oh, my God, that terrible sound is you?
Barry: Leave the singing to the professionals, ME!

Adam: How dare you use ALF against me? ALF is sacred!
Erica: He eats cats.
Adam: Cats are the chickens of Melmac!

Barry: You may be a poser, but I am too. I can't dunk like Charles Barkley, I'm not in the Yakuza, and my body isn't as cut as L.L. Cool J.
Erica: Your secret is safe with me.