The Best Jay Johnston Quotes

Preston's: [Preston's parents are just heading out for the weekend] Now Preston, I left some money on the kitchen counter. Oh and the emergency numbers are by the phone.
Preston's: And remember son, *no parties*.
Keg: [Two guys walk by carring a beer keg] Keg commin' through! Hey Preston.
Preston: Whats up, man?
Preston's: We're really trusting you here, Preston.
Roadie: [Behind them two more guys roll in a huge set of speakers] Where to you want these speakers set up, Preston?
Preston: Yeah, just move all the shit in the dinning room.
[to his parents]
Preston: Well, you guys really should hit the road, huh? Because I'm about to take your antique Ferrari to the inner-city to buy some hookers.
Preston's: Well, alright, sweetie. We'll call you later to check in.
Preston: Oh, mom. By that point I'll be so high I won't even know where the phone is.
Preston's: Haha! Thats my boy.