The Best Jeff Anderson Quotes

Zack: This is just the beginning, guys. If Star Whores works and *it will*, we are set up for sequels galore. The Empire Strikes Ass.
Miriam: Return of the Brown Eye.
Deacon: The Phantom Man Ass.
Delaney: And Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter.
[awkward silence]
Zack: ...okay.
Delaney: Revenge of the Shit, you got it?
Miriam: No, yeah we got it.
Stacey: Ew.
Delaney: [under his breath] Fuck you, mothafuckas.

Gun: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.
Loki: Well, it's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. Just doesn't have that Wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this...
Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like.
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Loki: Hey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.

Deacon: I'm gonna hatefuck the shit out of you, ref!
Zack: Dude.
Deacon: It's cool. He's my cousin.

[after the first night's shooting]
Zack: Hey, how'd it look?
Deacon: How do you think it looked? It looked like shit going into other shit - in focus.
Zack: [to Miri] What an artist. That was Kurosawa's motto I think, "Shit going into other shit".

Delaney: [after Zack leaving the set] Can you believe this shit?
Deacon: [after Stacy accidentally shits all over his face] Can you believe THIS shit? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!

Zack: Editor and DP, looks like you got your shit covered.
Deacon: Do not say 'shit covered' to me again.

Zack: Wow, D.P. and editor. You have your shit covered.
Deacon: Please don't ever say "shit covered" to me again.

[after Stacy accidentally shits all over his face]
Deacon: Can you believe THIS shit? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!