The Best Only Murders in the Building, Season 1, Episode 2 Quotes

Oliver: Ursula, my beloved! Even from here you smell like a field of lavender and French fries.
Ursula: [LAUGHS] My two favorite things.

- He liked running around the courtyard fountain.
- He was observant and robotic, but also kind if you looked at him the right way.
- He never lied.
- Except once.
- Who was Tim Kono?

- ‐ Don't even.
Tim: Hey, guys, if it's dark on the roof, nobody's gonna see how good we look.
- ‐ Hm, nice slick hair, Tim.
- ‐ Kono. Get a picture.
Mabel: Yes! This one's mine.
- Hurry!
Oscar: Come on. Here we go.

- Should I even be sad that you're dead?
- ‐ Ouch. That hurts.
- Almost as bad as this.
- ‐ Why didn't you tell the cops what you saw that night?
- And does this have anything to do with what happened back then?
Tim: I always enjoyed watching you figure things out.

- Hi.
- I'm not sure why I'm doing this.
- Maybe it's because nobody gave a shit about Tim, and I want something on record in case...
- Who is Tim Kono?
- Who was?

- I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now...
- ‐ I'm totally migraining.
- You guys meet the sea witch without me.
- ‐ What did you say to her?
- ‐ Just making conversation.
- ‐ Mm. Not your thing.
- Grab those, won't you? [sighs]
- And that tray, too.

- ‐ Yeah, okay.
- ‐ Fabulous. Now, you know what?
- How about we all try a new trust exercise?
- ‐ No.
- ‐ No fucking way. Bye.
- ‐ I'll see you tomorrow!
- ‐ Uh, so I don't trust her at all.
- She's shifty.

- But you know, people meant it as a compliment when they said I was like my father.
- But he was awful to my mother.
- He liked to make her feel small.
- ‐ The fuck?
- ‐ Make her feel silly.
- Make her unsu‐‐

- ‐ Goddammit! You're a goddamn asshole!
- ‐ What the hell are you doing?
- ‐ What the fuck was that!?
- No, that's, like, textbook cheating!
- What the fuck!

- They're cool, even though they're old.
Mabel: We'd spend a few weeks together every summer and winter break when my aunt would let me stay with her, and I could pretend
- I lived in the Arconia.
- And we could be the Hardy Boys... solving mysteries we'd make up around Tim's apartment.

- and he could be living in our building.
- My father was a Charles. I'm a junior.
- ‐ Are you?
- ‐ I'm Brazzos. [laughs]
Mabel: Me and my Hardy Boys, we would get into solving mysteries around the complex.
Charles: And your Hardy Boys, where are they now?

[conversation imagined by Mabel]
Tim: Aren't you a little old to still be playing Hardy Boys?
Mabel: Why did this happen to you?
Tim: Why are you hanging out with a couple of old weirdos?
Mabel: They're trying to help me find someone who cared about you.
Tim: Good luck with that.
Mabel: Tim... Who was the ring for?
Tim: You wondering if I ever found someone to love me?
Mabel: I'm just trying to figure out who you were. If you were a good guy or not. Should I even be sad that you're dead?
Tim: Ouch. That hurts.
[points at his deadly wound]
Tim: Almost as bad as this.
Mabel: [laughs softly, then continues] Why didn't you tell the cops what you saw that night? And does this have anything to do with what happened back then?
Tim: [voice only; his 'ghost' seemingly gone] I always enjoyed watching you figure things out.

Oliver: So so so you put "Aurora" on her envelope when you tip at Christmas?
Charles: I don't tip.
Oliver: Whaaaaaat?
Charles: I think it's elitist. I send out autographed photos instead.