The Best Secretary Quotes

Secretary: [in response to McNulty's story about his magic stopwatch] Why don't you go to the devil and pester him, McNulty? Either that, or get to the point already... Stops *everything*, does it? That's the most amazing tale I've ever heard! Now go hang yourself, will you?

Secretary: What's the suggestion this time, McNulty? If you haven't got one, I've got one for you: Why don't you... jump off... a bridge!

McNulty: You wouldn't be interested in having dinner, would you?
Secretary: If I was starving to death and you were the last man on Earth and it meant my survival, I might be. But I'm not, you're not, and it doesn't. So DRIFT, McNulty.

McNulty: [early draft; later revised] Say, uhm... You wouldn't be interested in having dinner, would ya?
Secretary: If the world as we know it was about to end, if you were its most prominent restauranteur, and if I weren't very happily married already, I *might* be. But it isn't, you aren't, and I am; so *drift*, McNulty.