Top 50 Quotes From Sherlock, Season 3, Episode 3

Sherlock: Mary when I say you deserve this man, it is the highest compliment of which I am capable.

- What is this obsession here with honesty?
- Additionally, if you're going to commit murder, you might consider changing your perfume, lady smallwood.
- Sorry, who?
- That's not lady smallwood, mr Holmes.

Sherlock: I will solve your murder but it takes John Watson to save your life.

Sherlock: You will look after him for me, won't you?
- Don't worry, I'll keep him in trouble.
- That's my girl.
- Since this is likely to be the last conversation I'll have with John Watson, would you mind if we took a moment?

- He's pulled through.
- Really?
- Yeah, you...
- Seriously?
- Mrs Watson. You're in big trouble.
- Really, why?
- His first word when he woke up?
- Mary.

- No? Because now there are consequences.
- I have the letters and therefore, I have you.
- This is blackmail.
- Of course it isn't blackmail.
- This is... ownership.
- You do not own me.

- John: Sherlock...
Sherlock: Let him, I'm sorry. Just...
- Let him.
- Hmm? Come on, eye open.
- It's difficult, isn't it?
- Janine managed it once.
- She makes the funniest noises.

- Another in here.
- Security.
- John: Does he need help?
- Ex-con, white supremacist by the tattoos, so who ca res?
- Stick with Janine.
- Janine, focus on my voice now.
- Can you hear me?

- ♪ it's raining, I'm crying
- We're losing you. Sherlock!
- Come on, Sherlock.
- Just die, why can't you?
- One little push and off you pop.

- Ask me.
- Why are you smiling?
- Because Sherlock Holmes has made one enormous mistake which will destroy the lives of everyone he loves and everything he holds dear.
- Let me show you the appledore vaults.

Mary: Oh Sherlock,
[smiling at his jealousy]
Mary: neither of us were the first you know.
Sherlock: Stop smiling.
Mary: [Smiling bigger] It's my wedding day.

- Those two.
- They all right?
- Well, you know, they've had their ups and downs.
- Baker Street. Now.

Dr. John Watson: [the drunken Sherlock is at an apartment looking for clues, while John, who is also drunk, watches] He's cluing for looks.
[Sherlock falls asleep on the floor]

- Ch rist, Sherlock!
- Don't fire.
- Mycro fi': Do not fire on Sherlock Holmes.
- Do not fire!
- John: Oh, Christ, Sherlock.
- Give my love to Mary.
- Tell her she's safe now.

- Mrs Hudson will cry.
- And mummy and daddy will cry.
- And the women will cry and John will cry buckets and buckets.
- It's him that I worry about the most.
- That wife...
- You're letting him down, Sherlock.
- John Watson is definitely in danger.

Sherlock: [to Molly] I want you to calculate John's ideal intake and mine to remain in the sweet spot the whole evening.

Sherlock: There was one feature and only one feature in the whole baffling case. John Watson. Who, while I was trying to solve a murder, instead saved a life.

Sherlock: Most ghosts tend to haunt a single house. This ghost, however, is willing to commute.

- John, magnussen is all that matters now.
- You can trust Mary.
- She saved my life.
- She shot you.
- Uh, mixed messages,
- I Grant you. That is a...
- -[Groaning]
- Sherlock... Sherlock. Take him.
- Got him?
- Medic: Yeah.

- Man: Your car is waiting outside in the front, thank you.
- See you tomorrow.

- It's for a case, you said.
- Yep.
- What sort of case?
- Too big and dangerous for any sane individual to get involved in.
- You're trying to put me off?
- God, no.
- I'm trying to recruit you.
- And stay out of my bedroom.

[Sherlock commences the Best Man's speech at John's wedding]
Sherlock: Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, and... um... others.
[He stammers uncertainly]
Sherlock: ... Also...
Dr. John Watson: Telegrams...
Sherlock: Right. Um... First things first: Telegrams. Although they're not actually telegrams, we just call them telegrams, I don't know why. Wedding tradition... Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently...
[reading]
Sherlock: "To Mr. and Mrs. Watson: So sorry I'm unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck and best wishes. Mike Stamford."
Dr. John Watson: Ah, Mike...
Sherlock: "To John and Mary: All good wishes for your special day with love and many big..."
[chokes the cloying words out]
Sherlock: "... big squishy cuddles. From Stella and Ted."
[next telegram]
Sherlock: "Mary: Lots of love..."
Dr. John Watson: Yeah?
Sherlock: [with precise diction] "... poppet."
[John and Mary giggle]
Sherlock: "Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes, from Cam. Wish your family could have seen this."
[Mary's expression darkens momentarily]
Sherlock: [shuffling rapidly through remaining telegrams] Um, "Special day," "Very special day," "Love," "Love," "Love," "Love," "Love," bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People basically fond.

- the personal freedom of anyone you've ever met is a fantasy.
[Knocking] Yoo-hoo.
- Oh, that was the doorbell.
- Couldn't you hear it?
- It's in the fridge. It kept ringing.
- Oh, that's not a fault, Sherlock.
- Who is it?
- Mr Holmes says you can go right up.

Sherlock: [Sherlock and John are both severely drunk] Don't compromise the integrity of the...
[Sherlock vomits on the carpet]
Dr. John Watson: ...crime scene.
[John puts his hand up for a high five]
Sherlock: [Sherlock lifts his head up and sways a bit] Yeah, that...
[Sherlock wipes some vomit from around his mouth]

Dr. John Watson: [Sherlock and Watson are sitting side by side on a park bench, staring straight ahead] The thing about Mary is she has completely turned my life around. Changed everything. But, for the record, over the last few years there are two people who have done that, and the other one is...
[turns to Sherlock who is no longer there]
Dr. John Watson: ... a complete dick-head.

Major: Is that what this is all about? Distracting me so that *this* man could get in here and kill Bainbridge?
Dr. John Watson: So I...
Sherlock: Kill him with what? Where's the weapon?
Major: What?
Sherlock: Where's the weapon? Go on, search me, no weapon.
Dr. John Watson: Bainbridge was on parade. He came off duty five minutes ago. When's this supposed to have happened?
Major: You obviously stabbed him before he got into the shower.
Sherlock: No.
Major: No?
Sherlock: He's soaking wet and there's still shampoo in his hair. He got into the shower and then someone stabbed him.
Duty: But the cubicle was locked from the inside, sir. I had to break it open.
Major: Must have climbed over the top.
Sherlock: Well, then I'd be soaking wet, too, wouldn't I?

Sherlock: There was one feature and only one feature of interest in the whole of this baffling case and, quite frankly, it was the usual. John Watson. Who, while I was trying to solve the murder, instead saved a life.

Bainbridge: [a letter addressed to Sherlock is read aloud] Dear Mr Holmes, my name is Bainbridge. I'm a Private in Her Majesty's Household Guard. I'm writing to you about a personal matter, one I don't care to bring before my superiors, it would sound so trivial. But I think someone's stalking me. I'm used to tourists, it's part of the job. But this is different. Someone's watching me.
[pause]
Bainbridge: He's taking pictures of me every day. I don't want to mention it to the Major, but it's really preying on my mind.

Sherlock: I have an international reputation. Do you have an international reputation?
Dr. John Watson: Nope. I don't have an international reputation.
Sherlock: I don't even remember what for. Crime... something.

David: They're right about you. You're a bloody psychopath.
Sherlock: High-functioning sociopath. With your number.

- At this hour, almost certainly his pa.
- So, how does that help us?
- Human error. I've been shopping.
- Here we go, then.
- You realise you don't exactly look like magnussen?
- Which, in this case, is a considerable advantage.

- by picturing it.
- I just sit here, I close my eyes and down I go to my vaults.
- I can go anywhere inside my vaults.
- My memories.
- I'll look at the files on mrs Watson.

Dr. John Watson: [painfully hungover] Can you whisper?
DI: [amused, shouting right into Watson's face] *Not really*!

- without causing a riot on a daily basis.
- The alternative, however, would require your approval.
- Hardly merciful, mr Holmes.
- Mycrofi': Regrettably, lady smallwood, my brother is a murderer.

Mary: You don't tell him.
- You don't telljohn.
- You're Mary Watson.
- Who are you?
[Whispers] Mary Watson.

Sherlock: Now, serviettes.
[pulls tray with two fancily folded napkins out from under coffe table]
Sherlock: Swan or Sydney Opera House?
Mary: Where did you learn to do that?
Sherlock: Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation.
Mary: Fibbing, Sherlock.
Sherlock: I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of...
Mary: I'm not John. I can tell when you're fibbing.
Sherlock: Okay. I learnt it on YouTube.

Janine: [to Sherlock, obviously attracted to him] I wish you weren't... whatever it is you are.

James: Mr. Holmes, you and I are similar, I think.
Sherlock: Yes, I think we are.
James: There's a proper time to die, isn't there?
Sherlock: Of course there is.
James: And one should embrace it when it comes... Like a soldier.
Sherlock: Of course one should, but not at John's wedding! We wouldn't do that, would we, you and me? We would *never* do that to John Watson.

- I might as well say it now.
- Sherlock is actually a girl's name.
- It's not.
- It was worth a try.
- We're not naming our daughter after you.
- I think it could work.
- To the very best of times, John.

- Well, is he clean?
- Clean?

- That's not what I meant.
- That is not in any way...
- Mr magnussen, can you recall an occasion when your remarks could have influenced government policy?
- Or the prime minister's thinking in any way?
- Magnussen: No.
- Are you sure?

[last lines]
Dr. John Watson: This isn't a waltz, is it?
Mary: No.
Sherlock: Don't worry, Mary, I have been tutoring him.
Dr. John Watson: He did, you know. Baker Street, behind closed curtains. Mrs. Hudson came in one time. Don't know how those rumors started.

Sherlock: So on to some funny stories about John. If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would... be better.

- I have an interview with the one show and I haven't made it up yet.
- Just one thing.
- You shouldn't have lied to me.
- I know what kind of man you are.
- We could have been friends.
- I'll give your love tojohn and Mary.

- you had a problem.
- More specifically, you had a witness.
- Magnussen: What do you do now?
- Kill the both of us?
- S h erlock: This solution, of course, was simple.
- I[ill us both and leave.

Dr. John Watson: The telegrams.
Sherlock: Right, um... Mm... First things first. Telegrams. Well, they're not actually telegrams. We just call them telegrams, I don't know why. Wedding tradition... Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently.
Sherlock: [reading] "To Mr. and Mrs. Watson. So sorry I'm unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck and best wishes. Mike Stamford."
Dr. John Watson: Ah, Mike...
Mary: Aw.
Sherlock: [next telegram] "To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big..."
[pause]
Sherlock: "... big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted."
Sherlock: [next telegram] "Mary, Lots of love...", Oh!
Dr. John Watson: Yeah?
Sherlock: [with precise diction] "... poppet."
[John and Mary giggle]
Sherlock: [next telegram] "Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. Wish your family could have seen this."
[Mary's expression darkens momentarily]
Dr. John Watson: Hey, hmm?
Mary: Yep.
Sherlock: [shuffling rapidly through remaining telegrams] Um, "Special day." "Very special day." "Love." "Love." "Love." "Love." "Love." Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People are basically fond.

- Now, where is Isaac Whitney?
- I don't know.
- Maybe upstairs.
- There you go. Wasn't that easy?
- No, it was really sore.
- Mental, you are.
- No, just used to a better class of criminal.

Janine: Do you always carry handcuffs?
Sherlock: Down, girl.

Sherlock: Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting.
Mary: Deduction?
Sherlock: Increased appetite.
Mary: [flashback to earlier] I'm starving.
Sherlock: Change of taste perception.
Mary: [flashback to earlier] Ugh, I chose this wine. It's bloody awful.
Sherlock: You were sick this morning. You assumed it was just wedding doubts. You got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. All the signs are there.
Mary: The signs?
Sherlock: The signs of three.
Mary: What?
Sherlock: Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test.

- Now, talk and sort it out and do it quickly.