700 Best Suits Quotes

Louis: What the fuck is your problem? I gave you an order and you blatantly ignored me.

Jessica: Harvey, you don't look busy. Would you like to attend the international securities law symposium?
Harvey: That depends. Is it in Vegas, Miami, or Rio?
Jessica: Poughkeepsie.
Harvey: Send Paul Porter.

Harvey: You know I love you, Donna.

Donna: I don't like having my competence questioned.
Harvey: Yeah, and I don't like being sued for fraud.

Louis: I know you, Harold. I know that you gargle before meetings that make you nervous - and I... smell... mint.

Rachel: We now control the air rights across from six of your most prominent properties. So instead of their unobstructed views of the park, your top-floor tenants will now be looking out at a 40-foot-high box of tampons.

Rachel: Mike, you can't just wait for the ax to fall.
Mike: I didn't just wait. I armed myself. I learned everything there is to know about Gerard and his class. Harvey is right. This guy is a prick. He makes everybody read his books and then doesn't even test on them.

Louis: Norma's dead.
Donna: What?
Louis: She died this morning taking care of her sister.
Donna: Oh, Louis, I'm so sorry.
Louis: You don't need to fake it, Donna.
Donna: I'm not faking it. She was a sweet woman.
Louis: She was a frickin' battle-ax is what she was! There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't want to rip out one of her varicose veins and strangle her with it!

Louis: You know, when we were in the bullpen, Harvey was like... Superman, and then, one day, Hardman decided to just knock him down a peg - gave him this bullshit assignment, undoable workload, unwinnable case - and I took it as a chance to break down his walls and offer my help, and I just thought, this just might be the chance that we could become...
Mike: Friends.
Louis: Yeah. And he looked at me - "how dare I?"
Mike: I get it. He's alone. He always has been. He always will be.
Louis: Always *was.* Harvey is not Superman anymore. He's Batman, and Batman needs Robin.

Katrina: Samantha, if she has anything to do with this, it would ruin her.
Samantha: And if she didn't want to be ruined, she shouldn't have gotten involved in this, and she damn sure shouldn't have fucked with me.

Harvey: We have breakfast at Nougatine and an excursion to Hermès that may or may not involve a new handbag.
Donna: You've been needing a new handbag.
Harvey: You can never have too many handbags.
Donna: You're a woman after my own heart.
Harvey: Well, in that case...
[opens the passenger side door for her]
Donna: Harvey, why are you doing this?
Harvey: Donna, we've all been through a lot. We deserve a little celebration.
Donna: Well, in that case, you have had it pretty rough. We're gonna need to get you more than one handbag.
Harvey: I wouldn't have it any other way.

Jessica: I think you're stuck with a merger you don't want and a noncompete you can't stand, and you're trying to get me to fire you.
Harvey: I could bust that non-compete wide open.
Jessica: But you gave me your word.
Harvey: Which is why I'm staying. Jessica, I've always operated this way. It's what you hired me for, it's what you pay me for, and it used to be what you valued me for.
Jessica: I'm not going to fire you.
Harvey: Neither is Deron Williams. Nets just caved. So unless you're looking to cook me breakfast tomorrow, I'd say we're done.

Todd: Okay, I am lying to you, but, please, you gotta help me.
Louis: Well, we want to, but, T-Dog, you gotta be straight up with your homies if you want us to have your back.

I might as well have gone after her.
All right. Giving up a client with eight-figure billables
is going out on a limb, so I do this,
you better deliver Gavin Andrews.
I will, Louis.
You have my word.

Harvey: She did it to make you feel like you owe her something, which is why she came to you in the first place. It's because you're a sucker.
Mike: Okay. Well, you know what, Harvey? I'd rather be a sucker than someone who refuses to sacrifice anything for anyone else.
Harvey: What the fuck did you just say to me?
Mike: I said I don't give a shit what we lose. This woman did us a favor, and I'm not gonna hang her out to dry just because you don't want to sacrifice a piece of business.
Harvey: I sacrificed more than just business this week all because you couldn't keep your mouth shut.

Donna: Zane already thinks I overstep my bounds. The last thing I need is for him to think that I can't hand in my homework on time, too.
Alex: Well, if that's what he thinks about you, you can have the copier, and Robert Zane can go fuck himself.

Donna: I know it's a hard thing to hear, but if we can't tell each other hard truths, then... what are we doing?

Harvey: You're feeling guilty. And I'm not gonna give you a fairy tale that it wasn't your fault, because it was. But it was also mine, and it's done.
Mike: I can't just do nothing.
Harvey: You wanna do something? Why don't you take that case that Alex gave you and knock it out of the fucking park.

Mike: I was just thinking about my grandmother. We got a train trip to D. C. once. We played I Spy.
Harvey: That's a nice story, Mike, but we are NOT playing I Spy.
Louis: I'll play. It'll remind me of dominating Esther on our trips to see our smelly Aunt Frida
Harvey: All right, if it will get you and Mike talking, sure.
[clears throat at Louis]
Louis: I spy a fraud, probably never even knew his grandmother.

Harvey: I just saw Louis.
Jessica: No. He's not getting any clients.
Harvey: He just wants three. Letting them go won't break us.
Jessica: No, it won't, but it will open the floodgates for every partner that ever thought of leaving and taking their clients.
Harvey: He's not "every partner," and he's worked his fingers to the bone for both of us, and he's asking for a crumb.
Jessica: And I'd give him that crumb, and the next thing you know, all the cookies in the cabinet are gone.

Stephen: I don't give you enough work, and I'm gonna change that right now.

Harvey: When assholes act invincible, it's because they think they are.

Jessica: Are you saying you *were* after my job?
Louis: Of course I wasn't. But who the hell am I kidding, you know? I mean, I'm not Frodo. Once I got that ring of power, we all know it would've consumed me.
Jessica: That's what I like about you, Louis. You may not be self-aware, but if someone holds up a mirror, you are not afraid to look.
Louis: Thank you, Jessica. And the truth is, Harvey needs Donna more than I do.
Jessica: Well, it was a selfless and noble act. And as far as I'm concerned, you may not be Frodo, but you are Samwise Gamgee.
Louis: Get the f- You read "Lord of the Rings"?
Jessica: Four times. I mean, it is about power.
Louis: That's funny. I always thought it was about friendship.

Harvey: Hey. Wanna go out and get a burger?
Robert: I do. But it's 2:00 a.m. If I go out for a burger right now, the only thing I'm getting is a divorce.
Harvey: Copy that. I'll get you one from the kitchen.
Robert: Yeah, meet me downstairs. Hide it in the gift bag or some shit.

Mike: I hear someone's not taking their pills.
Edith: Because they're trying to poison me.
Mike: Grammy, that's crazy. Dr. Schrager gave me her word, she wouldn't poison you until January. She does it before then, she can't count it towards next year's quota.

Ella: That was a good speech. Got me right here. The only thing is you said "WE played a joke." There was no "we." It was you. You targeted me.
Jessica: What do you want me to say? I was young, I was stupid, and I'm sorry.
Ella: You were young and smart, and I don't believe you're sorry for a second, because it was no accident that the classroom you chose belonged to the professor who was conducting the interviews for the job we both wanted.
Jessica: I had no idea.
Ella: You sabotaged me.
Jessica: There were dozens of applicants.
Ella: No, we both know it was you or me.
Jessica: I didn't know that he...
Ella: Objection. Bullshit.
Jessica: What do you want, Ella?
Ella: I want to recuse myself... on one condition - admit you know what you did.
Jessica: I wanted that job. I know what I did. I'm not sorry I did it. And I'd do it again.

Dana: You gotta be kidding me. How did you get through security?
Harvey: Charm and this smile.
Dana: You bought a ticket, didn't you?
Harvey: Trinidad-Tobago.
Dana: First-class. You're not even going.
Harvey: I prefer to not travel in style.

Donna: If you want somebody to just sit at her desk, answer your phones and pick up your dry cleaning, then put out a want ad, because that's not me. I'm gonna tell you what I think - and what I think is, if you do this, you're gonna keep doing it.

Harvey: I don't get emotionally attached to clients.
Mike: This woman had her life ripped apart, you don't even care?
Harvey: I'm not about caring, I'm about winning.
Mike: Why can't you be about both?
Harvey: I'd explain it to you but then I'd have to care about you.
Mike: Right.

Mike: That's bullshit. This deal is solid.
Jonathan: No, what's bullshit is you've been here for three months. All you've done is hit singles, and I need a goddamn home run.

Harvey: Logan, let me give you the ABCs of me. I don't take meetings. I set them. And my respect isn't demanded. It's earned.
Logan: That's only two things. What's "C?"
Harvey: "C" is for people who show me they know "A" and "B."
Logan: Well, since we're quoting Jerry Maguire, all I want is for you to show me the money.

Louis: You're here late.
Mike: Life of an associate, right?
Louis: Ah, yeah, I remember. I used to live in this room - work piled all around me, surviving on coffee, delivery, and no sleep - and the whole time, wondering, "Man, is it ever gonna get any easier?"
Mike: Does it?
Louis: No.
Mike: But you still love it.
Louis: And so do you.

Do you really expect a jury to believe what happened
to the Vermeer was an accident?
- It was an accident.
Well, actions speak louder than words.
And your actions aren't just speaking.
They are screaming that you're guilty
and all of these people can hear it.

Donna: Rachel, if you try to pull him towards you right now, all you're gonna do is push him away. Trust me. Let things be. They'll turn out the way they're supposed to.
Donna: You don't know that.
Donna: I do know that. Okay. Rachel, I'm gonna tell you something I've never told you: I slept with Harvey.
Rachel: Oh, my God. But you told me that...
Donna: I know what I told you. It was once, and I never would have done it if we were still working together, but then he left the D.A.'s office, and... it happened, and then, the next time I saw him, he wanted me to come with him to the firm, and I did, and that was that.
Rachel: Would you have wanted a relationship with him?
Donna: I would have wanted to try, but he wasn't ready; and, if I had pushed him to be ready, I would be sitting here talking to somebody else about somebody I used to work with a long time ago.
Rachel: What are you saying?
Donna: I'm saying everything turned out the way it was supposed to.
Rachel: But you said the reason that you two never... is because you can never go back.
Donna: I lied.

Harvey: We're gonna need to streamline this. Give each guy a hard time before you send them back. Give me a wink if they say something clever. Cool?
Donna: Okay. What are you looking for?
Harvey: Another me.

This is not that serious.
Just not every day I'm served with papers.
So if you will be so kind as to reschedule,
I would greatly appreciate it.
Okay, Stan.
I'll see you next week.

Harvey: Tell me right now you weren't the one that gave Fletcher Engines my game plan.
Louis: Hardman told me he wasn't gonna make you partner anyway. And once he offered it to me, all I had to do was...
Harvey: Sell me out.
Louis: How is what I did any different than you going after McKernon Motors in the first place?
Harvey: If you don't understand that on your own, you never will.

Louis: So you mean they get to enter that statement she made in court, and there's nothing we can do to counter it?
Harvey: Yeah. That's what I mean.
Louis: Well then, we're fucked.

Louis: I thought you can't stand Mike Ross. All of a sudden you're willing to work with him?
Katrina: It's my job.
Louis: If I ask you to murder someone on a rainy winter's eve, how would you respond?
Katrina: You want a gun or a knife?
Louis: If you were less attractive, I'd love you.
Katrina: I know.

Edith: [to Mike] Fine, just let me meet this Harold-clown and I'll go.

Louis: Mike, listen to me. I know I'm mad at you about Sheila, but I don't care about that right now. You cannot take a job with that man.
Mike: I don't have any other options, Louis. And I'm in this position because you paid that man greenmail to walk away from my deal in the first place.
Louis: Believe me, I wish I hadn't.
Mike: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Louis: Mike...
Mike: You know what? Doesn't matter. None of it matters.
Louis: This is about Rachel, isn't it? She told me she hurt you. Believe me, I understand, but you cannot do this because of that.
Mike: This is a job, Louis, all right? I'm not robbing a bank.
Louis: It's not a job! It's a decision, and I'm not gonna let you make it.
Mike: Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?
Louis: Anything I have to.

Mike: Harvey, they let her in.
Harvey: According to you, but they're gonna claim fraud or theft or any number of things.
Mike: What are you gonna do?
Harvey: I'm making a deal to drop this case, that's what I'm gonna do, and you're gonna file the paperwork as soon as I do.
Mike: So you're just gonna let this woman blackmail you without a fight?
Harvey: You're damn right I am.
Mike: Harvey, we can still win this case and clear...
Harvey: There is no case, and I wouldn't give a shit about it if there was. I care about Donna.
Mike: And you think I don't?
Harvey: You care so much for her? Then draw up those papers, because I'm letting Evan know it's over.

Leah: I thought nobody puts baby in the corner.
Jessica: Since when am I "baby?"
Leah: Since you're sitting in the corner.

You said you'd never leave.
I meant we'd be there for as long as you needed us.
You don't need us anymore.
And no matter where we are, we'll always be your family.
Promise?
We promise.

Jessica: Harvey, when were you gonna tell me Mike and Rachel moved up their wedding?
Harvey: When you were out of trouble, that's when. I didn't know myself until an hour ago.
Jessica: Well, now you know. You're the closest thing that kid has to family. If you're not there for him, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life.

Louis: Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to put some peas on my face.

Louis: You do not owe me, and if you really care about me you'll never mention repaying me with a favor again.
Mike: Really appreciate it, Louis.
Louis: Good. Now I need you to drop whatever it is you're doing...
Mike: Uh, Louis, I can't drop what I'm doing. Harvey just asked me to...
Louis: What do you mean you can't drop what you're doing? I just brought you back here. You owe me.
Mike: You just told me never to mention that again.
Louis: What, do you think I meant that?

I can't have him see me like this.
Why don't I tell him for you?
We've got some things to work out between us anyway.
Thank you, Harvey. That would be nice.
[SNIFFS]
[♪♪♪]

Donna: You've got Ellis at 4:00 today, McKinney at 10:00 tomorrow, Chamberlain at 2:00, and when should I pencil you in to go see Mike?
Harvey: See him for what?
Donna: To be a friend.
Harvey: Donna, as far as he's concerned, I sold him out to win the takeover. I am the last person he wants to see right now.
Donna: And I would agree with all that, except for the fact that Mike got fired.
Harvey: What? When?
Donna: Last night, and I wasn't gonna tell you because you should be hearing it from him -- but men are idiots, and they would rather be alone and miserable than ever run the risk of being accused of needing someone.
Harvey: He has Rachel.
Donna: Who is the one person Mike believes will stand by him no matter what, which makes her the one person he won't believe when she says he didn't completely fail.
Harvey: How important is the meeting with Ellis?
Donna: He says it's urgent.
Harvey: Tell him I have to reschedule.
Donna: [looking at her scheduling book after Harvey leaves] That's weird. I already did.

Mike: Oh, I may be a little boy, but I'm not a stupid little boy.
Rachel: You're a sneaky little boy.

Louis: Oh, my God. I'm in a relationship with Harvey. Can I be the boy? Oh, scratch that, I don't even give a shit. I'm in a relationship with Harvey.
Dr. Lipschitz: And would you like to work on that relationship? Or spend the rest of the session celebrating its existence.
Louis: I think we both know the answer to that, but I'll settle for working on it.

Eric: Just because you stopped Gunderson from testifying doesn't mean I'm dropping this case.
Harvey: Then don't, and I'll come after you for malicious prosecution.
Eric: You have no basis for that.
Harvey: You arrested my client, he was here four hours, and you have no log with an outgoing call to me, all on the basis of a fabricated terrorism claim. Now, if that's not malicious, I don't know what is.
Eric: You say what you want. You're a dirty lawyer, and now you're on my radar.
Harvey: If I'm a dirty lawyer, then you're looking in the mirror.

Katrina: We didn't just get frozen out, Brian. They slapped us with a countersuit for slandering Marc. We just made it 1,000 times worse.
Brian: Shit. Look, maybe we can still...
Katrina: I can't fucking believe it!
Brian: Katrina, it's just a case.
Katrina: No, it's not just a case. It's my senior partnership.

Walter: You should know I'm only doing this as a courtesy to Jonathan Sidwell, but I'll tell you right now, the answer is no.
Mike: Good.
Walter: Why good?
Mike: Because a yes is always so much better when it starts as a no.

Harvey: Something told me you'd need it, and by something, I mean common sense. And by need it, I mean you're an idiot.

Harvey: How long have you worked for the S. E. C.?
Eric: Two months.
Jessica: And where were you before that?
Eric: I worked at the U. S. attorneys' office.
Harvey: Until I got you fired for malicious prosecution.
Eric: You didn't get me fired. You slandered me to a person in power, which caused me to leave a job I loved.
Jessica: To avoid getting fired.

Harvey: I want to bring Mike back.
Jessica: That is not a conversation I ever want to have.
Harvey: Jessica...
Jessica: Harvey, I haven't slept better since his last night, except for every night since, and I'm not going back.

Donna: [coaxing the copy machine] There's a time to be gentle, and there's a time to be firm.
[hip-bumps the copy machine into life]
Donna: You should see how I handle the fax.
Stephen: I can imagine. You know, in fact, given your skills, I think you'd be the ideal person to... handle my short-term needs. See, I'm in the states on a limited basis and... I've got nobody to help me with my workload.
Donna: I get it. You're forced to do everything yourself.
Stephen: It's getting exhausting.
Donna: And you need someone to help relieve the pressure.
Stephen: Mmm. Naturally I thought of you.

Rachel: You want me to be the Mike to your Harvey.
Mike: I DO want you to be the Mike to my Harvey.
Rachel: Yeah, well it's not really a thing.
Mike: It can be.
Rachel: Huh.
Mike: Huh.
Rachel: I get to ask half the questions.
Mike: Oh-ho-ho, Harvey doesn't let Mike ask half the questions.
Rachel: Fine. One-third.
Mike: Harvey doesn't negotiate with Mike.
Rachel: Mike doesn't have sex with Harvey.
Mike: One-third of the questions seems reasonable to me.

Mike: Wow, yeah, that is a tattoo.
Harold: It's cool, right?
Mike: Yeah. A manatee. The slow, gentle cow of the sea.
Harold: Uh uh no, it's a shark actually.
Mike: [looks again] Totally. No, yes that is... That's a shark. That is a big, wide, fat shark.
Louis: [enters] You're fired.
Harold: Oh! You can't fire Mike!
Louis: *You." You moron. You can't even get your firing right.

Harvey: Whoever said "Size doesn't matter" never saw this table.
Charles: Is that an insult or a compliment?

Mike: What about the bubble? There's no Donna in the bubble.
Rachel: Come on, there's room for Donna in the bubble.
Mike: You realize I get to sleep with whoever's in the bubble, right?
Rachel: So long as you realize that my dad's in the bubble.
Mike: Donna it is.

Jessica: Where is he?
Rachel: Uh, Donna said that he had a morning meeting outside of the office.
Rachel: And where is Donna?
Donna: Right here. I prefer to appear at the exact moment I'm needed.
Jessica: I wish I could say the same for Harvey.

Harvey: Donna, I need the -
[Donna hands him an envelope]
Harvey: Oh, also I didn't have a chance to -
[Donna hands him coffee]
Harvey: Marry me?
Donna: I took care of that too. We've been married for the last seven years.

Why you gotta push it?
- Now we gotta get him a watch.
Hey, do you wanna get a burger?
Sorry, Harvey.
Robert's right.
I need to get home to the woman I love.
[♪♪♪]

Because you're
- Daniel goddamn Hardman,
that's why.
Okay, Robert.
You get Eric and Ellen to go in on this, I will let this go.
But if you can't...
our friendship isn't gonna stop me from taking Harvey down.

Harvey: To Fairchild. God rest his soul.
Louis: Screw his soul. You know how they say, 'Heaven just got another angel?' They ain't saying it now.

Jessica: This life isn't for everyone. And it's harder on some than it is on others.
Rachel: What are you saying?
Jessica: I'm saying that for women, the rules are different. You can't be everyone's friend and invite them to tea because warm means you're weak. I wasn't gonna be weak. But now the flip side to that is, if you're strong, they think you're cold. And that's why they're all gone, because they see me as as unfeeling and manipulative. I'm tired of it.

So you...
You better watch your backs.
Tomorrow's gonna be what tomorrow's gonna be, Andy.
But for today,
Jessica Pearson sends her regards.
[♪♪♪]

Delay all you want.
Because they say when you're fighting something like I am,
you have to have something to live for.
Well, you just gave me two years to live on hate alone.
Now, get the hell out of here, and I'll see you in court.
[♪♪♪]

Alex: What the fuck do you think you're doing?
Louis: Whoa, calm down.
Alex: You told my client we're dropping him, and you want me to calm down? You're lucky I'm not putting you on the floor.

Rachel: [about Donna and Stephen] So, are you two going to keep...
Donna: Yes, it is some of the best damn...
[someone walks by]
Donna: YOGA I've had in a long time.
Rachel: Well, sooner or later, he's gonna find out, because it is all over your face.
Donna: Oh, please, you're a woman. Men are oblivious.
Louis: [walking by and hearing the last part] There's something different about you. What is it?
Rachel: Yes, please tell the man what it is.
Donna: Nothing, Louis. I'm just... been doing some yoga.
Louis: No, that's not it. You're practically glowing. Tell me your secret.
Donna: I-I don't think that it's your cup of tea.
Louis: For that glow, I'd tea.

Harvey: I want to watch you kill this guy. That's why I brought snacks.
Mike: You can't bring peanuts into my deposition.
Harvey: Why?
Mike: It's unprofessional.
Harvey: So's that tie, but I've made my peace with it.

Harvey: Two days ago, the New York State Board of Ethics voted to disbar Jessica Pearson. As the firm's Managing Partner, I completely support this decision. Jessica Pearson's conduct was not only selfish and unethical, it was also reckless. For that reason, effective immediately, the name Jessica Pearson will no longer be associated in any way with our firm. With the removal of this name, I look forward to bringing this disgraceful chapter of our firm's history to a close.

but I do now.
Robert, why are you doing this?
I'm making up for what I did wrong.
Well, I'm sorry to say that that's not enough.
You hereby forfeit your license to practice law.
This matter is now closed.
[GAVEL BANGS]

Louis: You don't think I know how dangerous he is? He fucking knows where I live. I'm not gonna risk it.
Samantha: Louis, he's a bully. And bullies only have power if you let them.
Louis: No, bullies only have power because they have guns and knives and nothing to lose, but I do, and the only reason that criminal out there knows that I have a family is 'cause I let you convince me to do this.

Samantha: Harvey doesn't have the balls to come in here and ask me himself. He sent you.
Donna: He didn't send anybody. I'm here on my own.
Samantha: Then you may have internalized the patriarchal system here, but I have not.
Donna: I haven't internalized anything. I'm not here at the behest of any man. I'm here on my own, woman to woman, asking you to take the long view and wait.
Samantha: I'm sure you think that's true. But did it occur to you to ask Alex to step down before you came to me? Because that's what I mean by patriarchy.
Donna: For the record, I did think to ask Alex. And I chose to ask you. And I did that because it comes down to who the promise was made to first. Not the gender of the person it was made to.

Jessica: No. No, I'm here same as everyone else, to contribute to your re-election campaign. Actually, I already did. Pearson Hardman is now a platinum-level donor. Go Fullman.
Ella: I know what you're doing.
Jessica: Of course, you don't have to disclose this, and neither do we, but I am of the opinion that elections are about truth, and truth requires openness.
Ella: You think you can get me to recuse by implying conflict of interest?
Jessica: You know I hadn't thought of that.
Ella: I'll simply return the money.
Jessica: That is certainly your prerogative, but it could look like you took money for favors and then got scared. No one forced liquor down your throat, Ella. You got drunk, we played a bad joke, but that was a long time ago. You know a man's reputation is at stake, and I'm not joking with you now. Cheers.

Edward: One more thing. Instead of spending firm money to fly to another country to question my judgment, feel free to call first. I'll be happy to give you the same answer over the phone.

Jack: That better be you calling down to my office to explain why your golden boy was arrested for fraud last night.
Jessica: My golden boy? You're the one that nominated him for partner.
Jack: Because you passed him over again and again, and I knew there was a reason for it, but now I know what it was.
Jessica: Just what are you implying?
Jack: I'm not implying anything. You knew that kid was a fraud, and even if you didn't, you should have. So what is it? Are you corrupt, or are you just so stupid you didn't know what was going on in your own firm?

Rachel: Relax, I'm not mad at you, but I do remember you being the person who told me not to force things that weren't meant to be.
Donna: Rachel, just because a person gives advice doesn't mean that they have to follow that same advice. That's one of the core principles outlined in The Book of Donna.

Harvey: I've told you this before, but it's always been when I needed something from you, and I don't need anything from you right now because you just gave it to me; so, maybe you can hear it when I say it - I respect you. You're an excellent attorney, a valuable member of this firm.
Louis: And a friend?
Harvey: Don't push it.

Donna: I'll grab the can opener.
Harvey: Whoa whoa, that's pre-trial ritual.
Donna: We're making an exception.
Harvey: I'll get the thumbtacks.
Donna: Two dozen?
Harvey: Three dozen.
Donna: Ooh, going for the record.

Harvey: Well, let me get this straight. You want my permission to take Mike and force him to be your associate.
Louis: No, I would never force him to do anything. It has to be consensual. Not like Sally Jones and senior prom.
Harvey: Wait a second. Did you just admit to a crime?
Louis: No, a crime was committed upon me.
Harvey: Okay, I don't want to, but I have to. What crime?
Louis: My mom felt bad for Sally, so she forced me to take her.
Harvey: W... what was so bad about her?
Louis: She had four nipples.
Harvey: Okay, if that date was so bad...
[laughs]
Harvey: I mean, how'd you find that out?

Harvey: So he's seen you naked?
Jessica: That's usually how these things work. Are you picturing me naked right now?
Harvey: Maybe. Yes.
Jessica: Go wash your hands. And don't spend too much time in that bathroom.

Jessica: [talking about Louis] Is he aware she's up for murder?
Harvey: Is he aware that most people don't line their offices with pictures of themselves?
Jessica: Evidently not.
Harvey: You know he's still got one of his dead cat?
Jessica: Harvey, leave the cat alone.
Jessica: [together] Stupid cat.

Your wife and child are in danger.
Your wife's in a great deal of pain
and she's in no condition to make a decision.
We need you to give consent to her going into surgery
and we need it now.
Go.
- I'll sign whatever you need.

Rachel: Do you think that it's at all possible that he actually did it?
Mike: No. I don't.
Rachel: How do you know?
Mike: Because I know Harvey. How could you think he could do it?
Rachel: Because I don't know Harvey. All I know is that he thinks he's above the rules, and he will do whatever it takes to win.
Mike: Yeah, but that doesn't mean...
[realizes something]
Mike: . You don't think he has integrity.

Robert: And Louis, one more thing. Harvey wasn't being disrespectful to you, he was just treating you the way he treated Jessica and me.
Louis: I get it, he's an equal opportunity asshole.
Robert: Serving the community 24 hours a day.

Harvey: You mean like how you dealt drugs or you used to cheat?
Mike: I cheated because I...
Harvey: You couldn't make money any other way? Bullshit. Life's like this and I like this.

Donna: Harvey, this isn't just winning a case. This is head litigator. Scotch isn't good enough. We need, like, a ritual or something.
Harvey: What'd you have in mind?
Donna: I don't know.
Harvey: I have an idea.
Donna: I'm listening.
Harvey: It's not something a gentleman should say out loud.
Donna: Oh, well, then I'm willing to pretend that you're a gentleman.
[Harvey writes something out on a notepad]
Donna: Okay, you are definitely not a gentleman. What would we even do it with?
Harvey: Whipped cream.

Harvey: We both know you tracked her down because of your lifelong, never-gonna-happen dream to beat me.
Travis: I never heard of Ava Hessington until she walked through my door.
Harvey: Bullshit. You have a subscription to Harvey Specter monthly, and I know it.

Dr. Keating: If you give up mudding, your chances of conceiving go up significantly.
Louis: Define significantly.
Dr. Keating: 80%.
Louis: Holy shit, 80%? There's gotta be another way!
Dr. Keating: There isn't.
Louis: What if I put everything in but my balls?
Dr. Keating: I don't...
Louis: Scratch that, defeats the purpose.

Harvey: I knew he wasn't a lawyer, I didn't know he was an idiot.
Jessica: I knew he was an idiot. I didn't know he was spastic.

Katrina: Louis, you have been a hero again and again, and if the one time they actually treat you like one you crossed a little line to get there, that doesn't make you horrible. It makes you Harvey.
Louis: You know what? You're absolutely right, and as of this second, I'm going to start acting like the hero that I am.
Louis: [to the waiter] Hey, jerk-off. Who do I have to blow to get some more nuts?

Sean: Eric, obviously these allegations are crazy.
Eric: Of course they are.
Sean: So just... prove it to 'em you've got nothing to hide.
Eric: [cornered] This is ridiculous. I-I-I am not gonna dignify... I'm your boss.
Sean: [to Harvey, Mike and Louis] Gentlemen, give me a minute.
Louis: Yep.
Mike: [to Woodall] By a minute, he means ten to fifteen years.
Harvey: [also to Woodall] In about a half an hour, you're gonna need a really good lawyer. When that happens, don't call me.

{\an1}It's no one's fault.
{\an1}I know.
{\an1}What are we gonna do?
{\an1}I don't know.
{\an1}\h\h\hBut you can't be my associate anymore.
{\an1}♪ ♪

Harvey: So this time be on time and put your seatbelt on, because we're about to take a trip down memory lane.

Donna: How long you been working on that?
Rachel: Two hours.
Donna: You know it's called a brief, right?
Rachel: You know his name's Harvey, right?
Donna: You make a compelling argument.

Louis: Bran bars are forbidden to first years.
Mike: Since when?
Louis: Since two seconds ago, order of the quartermaster, who is no longer speaking with you. Rachel. Can you please instruct the associate to your right to pass the nondairy creamer?
Mike: Louis, as I have been trying to tell you in person, and in the note I left, and in your voice mail, I'm sorry.
Louis: [ignores him] Do you know what nondairy creamer is, Rachel?
Rachel: Uh...
Louis: It's a metaphor. The first sip, you think it's real, you know? After all, it wants you to believe that it's genuine and it's good and it's gonna deliver on its promise, but then, with time, you realize that it's just a concoction of chemicals that's designed to disguise the truth that it's actually full of shit.
Rachel: Then why are you drinking it?
Louis: I'm lactose intolerant.

Rachel: I am trying so hard to be brave, but what if Louis ends up finding out everything about Mike? What if he ends up exposing him and he actually gets arrested? What if he actually... God.
Donna: Rach, Mike found out that one of our partners ordered multiple murders. Harvey said he'd fix it. Two days later, that partner was in prison.
Rachel: Stephen was a criminal. This is an academic. He hasn't done anything wrong.
Donna: Well, what makes Harvey great at his job is he knows that everybody has done something wrong.
Rachel: Even the most esteemed ethics professor in the country?
Donna: The cleaner they look, the more dirt they've swept under the rug.

Harvey: It's not bragging if it's true.

Harvey: Louis, have you given any thought to a rebound associate?
Louis: Harvey, come on, you know I'm not that kind of guy.
Harvey: Come on, you have him file a few interrogatories, maybe pick up your dry cleaning, and then you cut him loose.
Louis: With no strings attached?
Harvey: Better men than you have done it.
Louis: No.
Harvey: Yep.
Louis: Who, Baird?
Harvey: A week-long fling I ended six days too late.
Louis: Yeah, but Harvey, I don't just want a superficial relationship, you know? I want a true mentee, someone I can take to the gun club or mudding or to the origami festival.
Harvey: Louis, you're gonna find the right one.
[leaves]
Harvey: Origami festival? Oh, my God.

Mike: You know, you never asked if what they're saying about me is true.
Benjamin: I didn't need to. I knew it was true the second I heard it.
Mike: I don't understand.
Benjamin: All these kids who went to Harvard, they never gave me the time of day. All they cared about was letting me know where they went to school and I didn't. You've never done that to me. Not one time.

Donna: Okay, so why are we really here? I mean, you didn't just bring me out to talk about Khaleesi.
Rachel: I did. Paul Porter says I look like her translator.
Donna: He's a Throner?
Rachel: Though he says I'm a less-attractive version of her translator.

Harvey: What's your idea?
Stephen: Well, it requires you to take me with you to see Mr. Gianopoulos.
Harvey: Mike?
Mike: Yeah.
Harvey: You're off the case.
Mike: What? Wait a minute. You're gonna let him get away with that?
Harvey: I have to. I just took a bet. There's no going back on a bet.
Mike: Okay, what if I bet him that my idea's better? Then can I come?
Harvey: You gonna pony up $10,000?
Mike: [pause] Best of luck, guys.

Did he say why?
He said that if too many people got involved,
their fight could tear the firm apart.
Then I say...too many people are already involved.
You might as well go ahead.
- Help Harvey.
Thanks, Donna.

Sean: Did you come here to personally deliver my files?
Harvey: I came here to personally deliver this.
Sean: Well, if it's an invitation to your birthday party, I think I'm busy that day.
Harvey: That's too bad. I promised the children a clown.

Jessica: You can't do that anymore.
Harvey: You mean make fun of Louis? It's one of life's great pleasures.
Jessica: When the two of you were colleagues, that's fair game, but you're a name partner now and you have to show him some respect.
Harvey: I am showing him respect. I'm being dismissive to his face.
Jessica: Harvey, remember Kopelman?
Harvey: Comb-overs like that are hard to forget.
Jessica: When I first started here, he and I would fight like cats and dogs every day, toe-to-toe, then one day he went too far. He crossed a line, and I'd had enough, and I went in and I ripped him up. You know what I did the day after Daniel and I took over the firm? I went to Kopelman and I told him how much I valued him.
Harvey: Kopelman never voted against you the whole time I knew him.
Jessica: Exactly.

Jessica: I am in charge on this side of the ocean.
Edward: Because I allow it to be that way.
Jessica: And, there it is again - 51-49.
Edward: Until now I believed that Harvey was the wild horse that couldn't be tamed, but perhaps it is you.
Jessica: I think maybe Harvey was right. It is personal, but I didn't make it that way. You did when you allowed your feelings for Ava to cloud your judgment; and, as you pointed out, I had a partner once who made decisions based on his personal shit, and I will not allow that to happen again; and, 51-49 or not, I just took fourteen million and put it on my side of the ledger, so do me a favor, Edward, and turn off the lights on your way out.

Mo: Why do you think I picked you? I coulda taken ten people into that alley, but the second I saw you, I knew you were my guy.
Louis: You stupid motherfucker. When you held that gun to my head, you told me not to look at you and I was afraid. Do I seem afraid now?

[Mike shows up bloodied at Harvey's door]
Harvey: Forstman?
Mike: Logan.
Harvey: Gillis.
Mike: Rachel.
Harvey: Get the hell in here.

Sheila: You're gonna tell me that's not mud under your fingernails?
Louis: All right, it is, but it was just one last time.
Sheila: And how can I trust that that's true?
Louis: Because I just told you, work was fucking crazy.

Harvey: Sean, please. Gallo might not get out, and Mike's gonna be stuck in there with him.
Sean: Well, all the more reason he should put down his gun and walk out that fucking door.

Harvey: Louis is gonna look back with his beady little eyes and say "Embezzlement? That's not how I got my name on the wall," and the shit's gonna hit the fan anyway.

You're saying I'm not seeing this clearly?
I'm saying Samantha specializes in shady shit.
If she suspects something's up,
you might not believe it, but I do.
And I'm not cutting that charity another check.
[♪♪♪]

Louis: They were not pleased that you kept them in the dark.
Harvey: You are a son of a bitch.
Louis: Who's the clown now? You're a son of a bitch. I'm only taking one client that you're gonna have to drop anyway. The least you could do is be a gentleman about it
Harvey: A gentleman? I got you two jobs!
Louis: Two jobs in Siberia!

Daniel: They took my firm, Robert. It's not a judgment. That's a fact.
Robert: And from what I recall, you all but handed it to them with your indiscretions.
Daniel: And if you're here to litigate the past...
Robert: Fuck the past, Daniel.

and I wanna take it from him.
One other thing...
Because this is my business.
So you take this on and you get it done,
or you don't take it on at all.
[♪♪♪]

He was right about one thing this week...
Yeah? What's that?
You are the cool one.
Joy, what I'm trying to tell you...
is I think maybe your dad is the cool one.
[♪♪♪]

Louis: What I want is for you to finish drafting the contracts and deliver them to Rachel Zane by 8:00 AM tomorrow morning, then wait for further instructions, politely seated with your hands crossed on your lap -- and if anything goes wrong, I swear to almighty God that you're gonna rue the day that you decided to become the embarrassment of a lawyer that you are. Louis Litt does not lose clients. Is that clear?
Harold: About the Carillo contracts or the fact that you don't lose clients?
Louis: Get out.

Louis: What's bullshit is you thinking it's up to you who gets to represent Harold Gunderson.
Eric: So if I walk in there right now and ask him who his attorney is, he's gonna say it's you?
Louis: Doesn't matter what he says. It's 4:07, and if you don't let me see my client, anything after this second will be inadmissible -- and I will rain down fourth amendment claims on you for the rest of your goddamn life.

Jessica: One thing about everyone being gone we got the run of the place. I never knew what the ceiling looked like in here.
Harvey: It's like "The Breakfast Club."
Jessica: Do you ever not quote a movie?
Harvey: No, and you got a problem with that, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Mike: I was just asking for an assignment. Captain Pinstripe's the one who brought up the girlfriend. And second of all, people actually had girlfriends after high school, which you wouldn't know because, emotionally, you never graduated.
Harvey: Well, I guess you're the expert, because the only thing you graduated from IS high school.

Mike: Where's your client?
Harvey: He doesn't need to be here. This fight started with you and me, so let's you and me settle it right now.
Mike: You mean you don't want him here because you don't think Logan Sanders and I can be in the same room.
Harvey: I don't think. I know.
Mike: Harvey, I'm a grown man. I can sit across the table from somebody who had a history with Rachel.
Harvey: Maybe, but you both have a brain and a dick, and if you get in that room together, the brains aren't gonna be leading that conversation.

Louis: Okay, change of plans. We need to file a motion to delete this motherfucker's products from our store.

Harvey: Brief me on the way.
Mike: On our way where?
Harvey: If you know "A Few Good Men" as well as you say you do, you'll be able to guess.

Donna: So what's on your mind?
Mike: Okay, so I'm trying to plan something special for our wedding.
Donna: What? We're getting married? Mike, this is so sudden. I'm gonna have to think about it. And what about Rachel? Oh, who cares about Rachel? - I love you!
Mike: Are you finished?
Donna: Do I have to be?
Mike: Donna, I'm serious.

Rachel: So are you gonna get something for Harvey?
Mike: I want to, but what do you get the man who has everything?
Rachel: The same thing you got me.
Mike: A picture of him dressed as a mouse?

Harvey: You gotta be kidding me. Louis is going to be the deciding vote.
Jessica: And he better vote for me.
Harvey: No.
Jessica: Yes.
Harvey: No.
Jessica: Harvey, this is your chance to prove you learned something from that mess you made with Paul Porter.
Harvey: I have nothing to offer him.
Jessica: Harvey, you treat that man like shit. At every turn, you are the thorn in his side. It is time that you pull that thorn out.

And that is the reason we were right to keep you.
And as I see it...
You can either help Katrina make the right decision,
or live with the fact that she might make the wrong one.
Like she almost did with you.
[♪♪♪]

Harold: Louis, how did you get in here?
Louis: I told them I was your uncle - though how they could believe that we share the same DNA is beyond me.
Harold: This is about your trial, isn't it?
Louis: You're goddamn right it is! Why the hell would you do that to me?
Harold: I had no choice. I was subpoenaed.
Louis: It was a mock trial. You could have refused.
Harold: What do you want from me, Louis?
Louis: I want to yell at you!

Louis: Your order is to not let my inner gladiator get past my outer negotiator.
Katrina: That's not gonna be easy, Louis. You're like the Hulk - once you get enraged, there's no going back.

Harvey: Who the hell is Sam Tull?
Gretchen: Tall, handsome, steely blue eyes?
Harvey: Not ringing any bells.
Gretchen: Well, maybe this will knock the cobwebs out. He said the last time you saw him, he was with Morello Asset Management and you threatened to kick his ass.
Harvey: You let him in my office?
Gretchen: Do I look like I was born yesterday? He's in the conference room under the supervision of one Rachel Zane. I told him if he didn't behave himself, I'd kick his ass myself.
Harvey: You'd do that, wouldn't you?
Gretchen: I sure as hell would. And if you don't get in there this second, I'll kick yours.

I guess I suck at my job. Something like this
ever happens again, forget about being fired.
You're gonna wish you were never born.
Get out, because right now John Bigelow isn't the only one
who never wants to see your face again.
[♪♪♪]

Sean: [looking at Harvey and Mike] Oh, well, well, if it isn't the Wonder Twins... form of "douchebag."
Harvey: Shape of "got you by the balls."
Sean: No, no, no, it's gotta be an animal.

There's my lion. Are you naked under there?
This is my sex robe, isn't it?
Yeah, of course, I would recognize that anywhere,
but Sheila, where is this coming from?
It's coming from right there.

Louis: Harvey, I can explain.
Harvey: Explain what, that you put the firm in jeopardy all because you had to be the hero?
Louis: I didn't do it to be the hero. I didn't even know I was gonna do it at all.
Harvey: What?
Louis: The deal was closed, and you were so happy we won. Then I went back that night, Forstman said if I didn't funnel the money overseas, the deal was off, so I did it.
Harvey: There's more.
Jessica: How do you know there's more?
Harvey: Because with Forstman there's always more.
Louis: He made me take a million dollars out of the deal so I couldn't turn on him later.
Jessica: Jesus Christ.
Louis: I had no choice!
Harvey: Bullshit, you had no choice! You coulda said no at any goddamn point along the way, but you didn't, because all you cared about was yourself.
Louis: Okay, if I care about myself so much, how come I'm in here telling you that I'm gonna confess?
Harvey: You want to confess? Be my guest!
Jessica: Harvey, that's enough. Louis. the problem with that is that we're innocent. Cahill's plan is to throw mud against the wall and see what sticks. You tell him about what you did, and all of a sudden, everything sticks.

Harvey: I want a relationship with her.
Jessica: Well, I'm happy for you. I hope you two make a run at it.
Harvey: Thanks. I'll pretend you meant that.
Jessica: Your track record isn't great.
Harvey: You've had three name partners in two years. Let's talk about your commitment issues.
Jessica: I'm not asking you to give my commitment issues a corner office.

Louis: Jeff Malone is in love with me.
Donna: What?
Louis: I was just in a meeting with him, and he started off by patting my shoulder.
Donna: He's a jock, Louis. That's just how they are.
Louis: No, he was then rubbing my shoulders, then he touched my arm. He's all over me.
Donna: Wow. What was that meeting about?
Louis: It doesn't matter. Donna, his arguments are loaded with double meaning. Who invokes the penal code in an S. E. C. case?
Donna: He said... "penal?"
Louis: Three times.

Zoe: Now we have them right where we want them.
Jessica: Either you're better than I thought you were or you have absolutely no idea what you're doing.
Zoe: Trust me, the partners are starting to believe Harvey.
Jessica: Why?
Zoe: Because he protected Donna.

The man was my partner.
You cost him millions.
Blackmailed me twice with that thing already.
And now, you're gonna pay.
Eli, please. Get the hell out of my house.
[♪♪♪]

Harvey: We have three choices here
[counts on fingers]
Harvey: We move forward with the suit, lose-lose; we can give you your money back, plus the five hundred thousand; or, you and I can play poker for it.
[flips Walsh off]
Harvey: And I'm not giving you your money back.

Dana: I'm a friend who is not going to give you my case fourteen seconds after you give me a scarf.
Louis: No, no, no, it's not a scarf. It's one of the world's finest pashminas.
Dana: I don't care if it's the world's only pashmina. You're not getting this case.

Henry: A former employee at Liberty Rail reached out to me. He claims he was fired because he knows the real reason for the crash.
Mike: And what was the real reason?
Henry: He wouldn't tell me.
Mike: Well, what did he tell you?
Henry: Enough for me to know it would be unethical if somebody didn't look into this.
Mike: But you can't, so you want me to get Harvey to.
Henry: Well, you convinced him to look into my case when he didn't want to, didn't you?
Mike: This is different. We don't take cases like this.
Henry: Maybe, but I believe a man who can convince Harvey to hire someone who never went to law school could convince him to make an exception for this.

Harvey: I'm not gonna fire you, Donna. I might kill you, but I'm not gonna fire you.

Harvey: So I'd say the ball's in your court, but the truth is your balls are in my fist. Now I apologize if that image is too pansy for you, but I'm comfortable enough with my manhood to put it out there.

Rachel: What happens to you if Harvey loses?
Mike: I don't know.

Jessica: What do you want, Louis?
Louis: I want something for continuing to cover your as
Jessica: You got something. You got your name on the wall.
Louis: Now I want the respect that comes with it.

Mike: Yes, no more fondling the vinyl.

Jessica: You go, I go.

Robert, you okay?
I don't know.
We may have been at war, but I knew the man for 30 years.
I could use a minute to process this.
You take all the time you need.
[♪♪♪]

Charles: We're not a good fit, 'cause restaurants fail, and when this one does, you'll leave, so you might as well leave right now.
Harvey: Then how 'bout we bet on it?
Charles: You're gonna gamble on something to get your brother out of a gambling problem?
Harvey: I didn't say *I* had a problem.

Goddamn it.
You told me that if we did this right,
there'd be justice.
- Where's the justice?
That son of a bitch gets off,
do you know what that makes me? A victim.
I am not a victim, Robert.

Mike: You're a sore goddamn loser.
Harvey: I would be if I ever lost.

Harvey: I don't get lucky. I make my own luck.

Mike: I don't know if I'm ready for a new fake dog right now.

Harvey: Obama.
Dana: I'm not going to land the president as my first client.
Harvey: Fine, if you don't think you can.
Dana: You're not going to manipulate me into trying to land Obama.
Harvey: Well, it better be somebody like that or Jessica won't give up on her early buy-in bullshit.
Dana: What if I got myself a sports guy?
Harvey: The very fact that you call it 'a sports guy' means it's a no.

Harvey: I have to say, I'm flattered.
Ava: I don't want you to be flattered. I want you to say yes.
Harvey: As much success as I've had with that line myself, I'm afraid I'm not an oilman.
Ava: The oil business is about oil as much as you being a lawyer is about the law. Every day is a knife fight in a prison yard, and something tells me you like a good knife fight.
Harvey: No rules in a knife fight.

Trevor: I have a client coming in from out of town and I can't meet him and I need someone I can trust to make the drop. It's totally safe.
Mike: Trevor, a person is more likely to die while dealing drugs than they would be on death row. In Texas.

Louis: You know that I picked a pony out of the herd every year, don't ya?
Mike: A pony?
Louis: Yeah. Someone who has potential. Stamp my little brand on him. Are you that pony, Mike?

Donna: Now, get out there and make your case -- unless, of course, you're a pussy and you were meant to play Plaque your whole life.

Louis: I told you I went to see Cahill. He wasn't there. Five minutes later, Eric Woodall shows up. I say two words, "Charles Forstman." He hustles me outta there like I'm his mistress with his wife coming up the driveway.

Harvey: I'm not the guy that gives you a hug when you're scared. I'm the guy that wins when you need it the most.

Louis: You're Barbara L. Tottingham.
Nigel: I hardly made it difficult to figure out.
Louis: Barbara L. Tottingham - B. L. T. - which is a sandwich.
Nigel: And what does one put on a B. L. T. ?
Louis: Mayonnaise, invented by the French.
Nigel: Which points directly to another French sandwich.
Louis: Of course, the monte cristo, as in the Count of Monte Cristo. How did I not see that? It was staring me right in the face.
Nigel: Indeed it was. The count returned from the dead, as I am now returned from the banishment to which you sentenced me... as quartermaster.
Louis: I would ask you how you did it, but I know you wouldn't tell me, because I wouldn't tell you.
Nigel: What I will tell you is that during my time in the wilderness...
Louis: It was three days.
Nigel: And nights! I endeavored to discover what perquisites you value most in this firm - your beloved Bran bars. You're never going to have them.
Louis: I can buy them myself.
Nigel: Even if you were willing to buy them yourself - which we both know you aren't - you'll never eat them on Pearson Darby grounds.

And now you're not only lying to me,
you're lying to yourself. No, I'm not.
I don't want managing partner, and you said you love me.
Well, this is who I am,
and you can either accept that or not, but it's not changing.
[♪♪]

Mike: Ava makes a statement, Cameron's gonna be all over it.
Katrina: Cameron Dennis isn't the problem right now. The problem is Ava Hessington isn't a credible CEO.
Harvey: The problem is she's on trial for murder.
Louis: And public perception says that she's as guilty as Jean Valjean with a loaf of bread in his pants.

Daniel: You don't get it, do you? This isn't about bringing in business. This is about figuring out who would do whatever it takes.
Harvey: I did whatever it took.
Daniel: You didn't do a thing. You had the chance to triple our business, and all you had to do was take a knee.
Harvey: You mean bend a knee.
Daniel: Yes, that's exactly what I mean. But you're an arrogant little boy who would rather win than get in line.
Harvey: Well, what the hell did Louis do to get in line?
Daniel: He did whatever it took.

of a great opportunity-Look.
I appreciate you both coming over,
but we're in the middle of our build out,
so please, for right now,
I prefer to keep things like they are.
[♪♪]

Harvey: I don't want to talk about it.
Donna: You mean about how everything I said would happen happened, and now you realize I was right the whole time?
Harvey: No one likes a gloater, Donna.
Donna: Well, then I guess the Harvey Specter University of gloating is gonna have to shut down.
Harvey: I can still give lectures on the weekend. You want to hear it? You were right.

Travis: [at the deposition] Lot of good memories in this room.
Harvey: Bring back the taste of blood in your mouth?
Travis: Oh, I'm a shark, Harvey. I love the taste of blood.

Mike: We need to make it so that he doesn't come.
Harvey: It's not gonna happen. The man doesn't back out of commitments. His favorite quote is "For the law to work, there must be honor in one's word."
Donna: Who's he quoting?
Harvey: Himself. Pompous prick.

Robert: I'm a big, bad motherfucker, and I'm here to drink your goddamn milkshake.

Sheila: You really are a bad boy.
Sheila: No, Sheila. I'm a bad man.

Eric: Pacing. Right on schedule. First sign that a man is losing it.

Harvey: We threw Daniel's ass out once, we'll do it again.
Jessica: Damn right.
Harvey: One more thing. I'm getting Donna back.

Harvey: Play the man, not the odds.

Donna: Wait a second, you're not gonna try to cut Mike's legs out from under him before he even gets started?
Harvey: What's the point? He'd just bother me until I agreed not to anyway.
[Donna stares at him]
Harvey: I can't believe it. You have no idea what to say. What's the date today? I want to write this down.
Donna: You know what? It's the seventh of kiss my ass, and tomorrow is the eighth of set your own goddamn meetings.
Harvey: Is that the Mayan calendar?

Mike: Wait, we can't say where the money came from?
Harvey: No, we can't, because he was playing backroom poker, and if that comes out, Harvard fires him.
Mike: Are you kidding me? He's an ethics professor, and he's breaking the law?
Harvey: Where the hell do you think my chip comes from?

Harvey: And what are we going to do?
Jessica: We're going to take it.
Harvey: We give him this, it is never gonna end.
Jessica: Harvey, before you say another word to me, I want you to think about the fact that I just ate a big bowl of shit because you brought that kid into my house -- and I had to take it, so you're going to take it.

Donna: I have a ton of old files that I need organized and shipped to storage, and I was wondering if you could maybe do that for me.
Mike: I...
Donna: Because I figured if you were suddenly doing things for people that they don't need you to do, didn't ask you to do, and don't want you to do, then maybe I'd get in on that.

Harvey: You're in your position because I put you there.
Donna: No, Harvey, I'm in my position because I fucking earned it!

Louis: I broke the law.
Katrina: Please keep your voice down.
Louis: Why? Let any man judge me. So says the good book.
Katrina: No, it doesn't.
Louis: You know what? I think I know what the goddamn good book says.
Katrina: Listen to me. You did what you had to do.
Louis: Oh, really? Well, that's not what you said when you found out. You said, "Louis, that's illegal."

Louis: [after ejaculating in the mud] Shit, that's twice now.

Donna: Louis, I understand why you did what you did.
Louis: You do?
Donna: Yes. You went down a path with the best intentions, and then it just got worse and worse until it was too late.
Louis: Feel like shit.
Donna: And you should.
Louis: What? But you just said...
Donna: I understand? I do. But I don't think you understand that every other time you screwed up, it was a mistake, and this time, it was a choice!

Mike: [reading the lawsuit] This is a bullshit claim.
Harvey: Maybe, but a bullshit claim on the right day is better than a great claim on a bullshit day.
Mike: D'you come up with that all by yourself?
Harvey: My grandmother taught it to me.

I represent the top construction firms
in the country, and we will find you another job.
And then? You call Dr. Lipschitz.
You set up an appointment,
and you start talking this through...
because you need him now more than ever.

Harvey: What happened with Judge Fullman?
Jessica: There might be a slight problem.
Harvey: What did you do?
Jessica: Why do you assume I did something?
Harvey: What did you do?
Jessica: There was a prank.
Harvey: How bad was it?
Jessica: We went to law school together and I got her drunk.
Harvey: So?
Jessica: She woke up in front of the entire con law class.
Harvey: It's recoverable.
Jessica: She might have been naked.
Harvey: Might have?
Jessica: Was.
Harvey: We're screwed.
Jessica: Come on, Harvey. She was uptight, I just straightened her out. That's what you do with uptight people.
Harvey: Well why didn't you ever do that to Louis.
Jessica: I did.
Harvey: That was you? He blamed me.
Jessica: You can be uptight sometimes too. That's why I let him think it was you.
Harvey: Told him it was me.
Jessica: That's what I said.

Robert: I don't need you owin' me one.
Harvey: Why don't you take the night to think about it? 'Cause if there's one thing I've learned, you can never have too many favors in the bank.

Harvey: Tanner, what the hell are you doing here, and how the hell did you insinuate yourself with Ava Hessington?
Travis: Jealous?
Harvey: No, I just thought Hessington was in the oil business, not the snake oil business.
Travis: Ha ha, they diversified.

Rachel: Oh, that man is trouble.
Donna: It's okay. I can handle it.
Rachel: Oh, no, it's okay. I don't need you to.
Donna: Wait. What are we talking about?
Rachel: The fact that he's into me.
Donna: Were you here? He's into me.
Rachel: Then why was I the one getting all the stares?
Donna: Haven't you ever heard, "Go after the second prettiest to get the prettiest's attention?"
Rachel: No. I never heard that.
Donna: Well, it's a thing.
Rachel: Oh. Are you saying I'm the second prettiest?

Donna: Late night?
Louis: No sleep at all.
Donna: The ulcer?
Louis: No, Nigel's cat.
Donna: You slept at Nigel's?

[last lines]
Mike: I don't think you realize, but I'm... not exactly leaving.
Harvey: Sidwell. You're a client.
Mike: Which means, technically, you work for me now.
Harvey: No, I don't.
Mike: No, I don't, BOSS.
Harvey: Don't even try it.
Mike: Or "sir," whichever feels least comfortable.
Harvey: You know, since I'm working alone now, I guess that makes me Superman.
Mike: Or Aquaman, seeing as you're in over your head.

Because I'm gonna have surgery in three days to help us
have this baby.
And I'd feel a lot better about it knowing we were
both on the same team.
[dramatic music]
♪

Louis: You just got Litt up!

Louis: Do you know the receptionist at the front desk?
Rachel: Yes, her name is Elise.
Louis: Good, you can use her name when you fire her.
Rachel: I don't have the authority to fire people, but I did just talk to her.
Louis: You did?
Rachel: Mm-hmm.
Louis: To set her straight. That's good.
Rachel: No, not good. She came to see me. She said that you've been harassing her.
Louis: What happened?
Rachel: She said that you called and hung up on her over fifty times.
Louis: What? How did she even know it was me?
Rachel: Because you called from your office.

Rachel: I know it's not my place, but you really suck at quitting.

Harvey: You figured this out on your own?
Mike: I would've done it faster, but I had to order some sushi.
Harvey: [chuckles] "Would've done it faster." That's what you said your first week here, except it was pizza instead of sushi.
Mike: Yeah, I'm growing.
Harvey: You mean Rachel taught you how to eat.
Mike: Like I said, I'm growing.

Harvey: You know who cries hardest in the Miss America pageant?
Mike: The runner-up.
Harvey: The winner, because she knows she can't win again, and winners always want to win more.
Mike: Yeah... that's not why they cry. What's wrong with you?

Jessica: You are having lunch with Jeff Malone today.
Harvey: Come on, Jessica. You banged him. The least you could do is take him to lunch.
Jessica: That is not funny.
Harvey: Wait a second, you want ME to take him to lunch BECAUSE you banged him.
Jessica: Harvey... I want you to go ahead and say 'banged' to my face one more time.
Harvey: Okay, I'm not going to, but not because I'm scared of you.
Jessica: Whatever lets you sleep at night, white boy.

Mike: Look, I know Harold can be... Harold.
Louis: He's an idiot savant minus he savant.

Harvey: It's not on the menu, but might I suggest the I-got-my-ass-kicked martini? It goes well with the second-tier-law-firm potato skins.
Allison: Those come with bacon?
Harvey: I don't know. Never had 'em.

Harvey: Being fully dressed is overrated.
Zoe: It is when you look like me.

Louis: If you were a narcissist with great hair, what would your password be?

Jessica: And when you love a woman, can you stand the thought of her being with another man?
Louis: No.
Jessica: Well, Louis, Van Dyke is trying to get into Pearson Specter's pants. What are you going to do about it?
Louis: I'm gonna put on a goddamn chastity belt.

Dana: If I'm going to change Jessica's mind, I can't just land someone, I have to land someone you couldn't.
Harvey: There's no one I couldn't land.
Dana: You think I don't know about Beijing?
Harvey: That's his word against mine.
Dana: Oh, well, um, I guess we can clear that up right now, because look who just walked in.
[Michael Phelps enters the restaurant]
Harvey: You knew he was coming here tonight?
Dana: You think I like Argentinean food? I just need you to stop him for a second.
Harvey: I get it. You got the idea from Working Girl, when they crash the wedding to get to Trask Radio.
Dana: Harvey, I'm not a 14-year-old girl. I don't get my ideas from movies.

Dana: I know we got in a fight, but drinking before 10:00 a.m., is that really the answer?
Harvey: Is on Mad Men. Who's that guy think he is anyway?

Mike: [quoting back at Charles] I thought I was "an obsequious little shit."
Charles: You are -- but so was I when I was your age, and look what happened to me.

Donna: Now what can Donna do for you?
Mike: I need the perfect gift.
Donna: Mm. Who is it? Rachel? Something personal, preferably a picture from her father.
Mike: How could you possibly...
Donna: Jessica? Simple and elegant. Or wild and crazy, the choice is yours. Louis? Oh, God, doesn't matter. Just get him anything. He'll cry for days.
Mike: What about Harvey?
Donna: There is no gift for Harvey. He gets what he wants, and he doesn't want what he doesn't get - and my knowing that is the only gift he'll ever need from me.

Harvey: So you don't even want to hear what it is before saying you're good with me taking it?
Louis: No, I don't, because *you're* good with you taking it.
Harvey: Louis, if this is some kind of Jedi mind trick that Lipschitz taught you...
Louis: I don't even know who Jed Mindtrick is, but what I do know is that I intend to be the world's best delegator, and if I'm gonna do that, there is no way I can try to tame you.
Harvey: Well, in that case...
Louis: And what I definitely can't do is put a saddle on you, much less try to ride you bareback.
Harvey: Ride me what now?
Louis: Bareback. I said ride you bareback.
Harvey: Please don't don't say "bareback" again.
Louis: Why not? Harvey, listen to me. You are a wild stallion, and wild stallions have to run free.
Harvey: Louis, I'm really not comfortable with where this conversation's going.
Louis: No, no. All I'm saying is that you're a magnificent steed that gallops wherever the wind takes him, and I'm not gonna ride you hard until, you know, you're able to start bucking underneath me. Now, you tell me, how is that possibly uncomfortable?
Harvey: ...Nothing, Louis. Nothing is uncomfortable.

Louis: Thanks for your concern about Sheila and me.
Katrina: Louis, you know I care for you deeply in a completely asexual manner
Louis: And I too care for you deeply and see you neither as man nor woman.
Katrina: Thank you, Louis. Kinder words were never spoken.

Rachel: Harvey, do you have a second?
Harvey: S'about all I have.
Rachel: Okay, I was, um, wondering if... if maybe I could possibly...
Harvey: Time's up.
Rachel: Could I get a day or two off?
Harvey: A day, or two?
Rachel: A day. I just need one day away.
Harvey: Are you sure that's all you need?
Rachel: I'm sure.
Harvey: Would you also like me to make your bed?
Rachel: What?
Harvey: Maybe I can triple your salary while we're at it.
Rachel: No, that's not...
Harvey: No, really, what can I do to make YOUR life easier?
Rachel: That is not fair. I have been juggling work and school for months now and I... I haven't asked for any special treatment.
Harvey: You're asking now.
Rachel: I'm not asking for time off to go to the Hamptons. This is law school I'm talking about.
Harvey: You said a day away. You didn't say anything about law school.
Rachel: Well, it's for law school.
Harvey: Well, THIS is your law school. This, right here. And, by the way, we're paying you for it.
Rachel: I know, and I'm... I'm grateful.
Harvey: If you're grateful then you'll stop complaining about how much work you have to do and you'll figure out how to best manage your time -- but as far as getting time off, that's not gonna happen if you still plan on working for me. Now, you still need a day or two off?
Rachel: No. I can manage.

Go to him, seek him out.
And who knows?
- Over time, you might even...
Might even what?
Nothing.
[WOMAN VOCALIZING]
Come over here and give an old man a hug.

Harvey: Wait. where do you think you're going?
Mike: Into the room... with the people...
Harvey: Wrong. That's the adult table in there and you haven't earned the privilege yet.

Harvey: I want your help to get my mind right.
Jessica: Well, here's the thing, Harvey, Jeff's gone, and he's gone because of the choices I made, so I'm not sure if I can help you get your mind right, 'cause right now... mine's not right.

Harvey: Where could you have to go? You're unemployed.
Dana: Well, actually a top-tier law firm offered me a job last night, and I thought it might be best if I negotiate the terms of my agreement with the partner I'm not sleeping with.

Robert: [to Jessica] When Rachel first told me she didn't want to work for me, we fought all night. I didn't think any other firm was good enough. And then she told me she was gonna work for you, and that changed everything. A brilliant black woman, mentor for my baby girl, someone who could teach her what the world does to people like us - how to get down in the mud and still manage to keep her dignity. And look at what you taught her instead.

Sean: So, you're gonna give me all the files or you're gonna head downtown with these two fine gentlemen.
Jessica: Okay, Sean. Have it your way. You're going to take that hall. You're going to run into what appears to be the mummified remains of a legal secretary.
Harvey: Her name is Norma.
Jessica: Mm-hmm. She's gonna limp you up to the 60th floor where you will find thirty years worth of files that haven't been sorted since the Reagan Administration.
Harvey: Or is it the 56th floor?
Jessica: It could be the 35th floor for all I know.
Harvey: The point is, while you're trying to find the Ark of the Covenant, we'll be downtown in front of a judge blocking this bullshit.
Sean: You think the threat of you getting to a judge before I find what I want is gonna get me to leave?
Jessica: Then stay, but who do you think's gonna get the job done faster, you and those two windbreakers or Bonnie and Clyde?

Trevor: Well, I need a thousand dollars by Monday or Omar's gonna beat the living shit outta me.
Mike: Trevor, him kicking your ass doesn't get him his money any faster.
Trevor: He's not gonna see it that way.

Robert: [to Andrew Malik] So take your medicine and count yourself lucky that we're willing to horse-trade. Because if we weren't, you'd be fucked right now.

Harvey: Get your tux on. We got a situation.
Mike: Uh, a situation that requires a tux? Where... where is this tuxedo situation?
Harvey: Atlantic City. Can you get dressed now?
Mike: Uh, yeah I could.
Harvey: But?
Mike: I don't have a tux.
[Harvey makes a face]
Mike: I'm not Bruce Wayne.
Harvey: Don't I know it.

Jessica: [to Harvey] You're busy going to the Yankee game with Louis. "Son, your ego's writing checks that your body can't cash." Oh, see, that's funny because now I'm quoting Top Gun.

Harvey: You sure you want to take control in the night?
Jessica: Night time's when they're sleeping.
Harvey: Telling them you're coming shows them respect.
Jessica: Not telling them shows them more.
Harvey: What about honor?
Jessica: Harvey, we're lawyers. We're not in the honor business.

Mike: I feel like Michael Corleone in that scene where that fat guy teaches him how to shoot that gun.
Harvey: Are you saying that I'm the fat guy? 'Cause I'm not the fat guy.
Mike: Do you know what his name was?
Harvey: Yeah.
Mike: Cordoza.
Harvey: Clemenza.
Mike: I knew that, I was just testing to see if you knew it.
Harvey: I knew that you knew that I knew.

And as far as the law is concerned,
my opening statement is still true
because it doesn't matter
if Ms. Wheeler crossed a line or not.
Faye Richardson had cause,
and nothing you say is gonna change that.

Harvey: Excuse me, why are you scratching off the 'senior' off my door?
Worker: I got a work order to take it off.
Harvey: Who issued the work order?
Worker: My supervisor.
Harvey: Why did he issue the work order?
Worker: If I knew that, I'd be his supervisor.

Harvey: I could be drinking a juice box and still kick your ass.

and I'm sorry I ever said otherwise.
What happened was one in a million thing,
and I also know if this comes out,
more people are going to die, not less.
I know you're a good man.
Please don't put an end to this company.

{\an1}and back the hell off
- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hmy client.
{\an1}I'm not backing off anything.
{\an1}There's no negotiation,
- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHarvey,
{\an1}you stay away from that game tonight
{\an1}because your services are no longer needed.
{\an1}♪ ♪

Gloria: You're gonna listen to what I have to say, because I saw what prison did to my son, Mr. Specter. Michael needs to know what his first day is gonna be like, who to make friends with, what guards to stay away from, because it's the guards that are the worst.
Harvey: You think I don't know all that?
Gloria: Then do something to toughen up that boy.
Harvey: I told you, I can't talk about this right now.
Gloria: Go ahead. Walk away. But you owe me! Because you may have gotten him out, but you're also the one who put him in that hellhole in the first place.

Rachel: Have you ever tried to sleep with someone and then retaliated once they rejected you?
Arthur: The answer is no. I haven't. Of course, things are different for women who don't work for me. I'd ask you out in a second.
Robert: Watch yourself.
Rachel: Dad, I've got this.
Arthur: It's all right. I know where he's coming from. I mean, after all, he's your father, but he's not blind. I mean, he knows you're attractive.
Ms. Sonowski: Arthur.
Arthur: As a matter of fact, if it were up to me, I'd be willing to settle this for one date, maybe two.
Robert: All right, that's enough.
Arthur: You see, that is the irony here. I am being accused of discriminating against people of color when in fact I have always preferred women of color. There's just something about them. You know, they're exotic. Like you, Ms. Zane.

Robert: Jesus Christ, what have I got myself into?
Harvey: I'll tell you what. You got yourself into Zane Specter Litt.
Robert: Or Specter Zane Litt. Either way...
Harvey: Litt comes last.

Donna: That bottle is the reason I buy my own present for Secretary's Day.
Harvey: There's a Secretary's Day?
Harvey: There is, and you're very generous.

Louis: Norma, it's Louis. Louis Litt, your boss. Don't play your games with me now, woman. I'm due for closing arguments in thirty minutes and I need you to stall. No, you do not pull the fire alarm as a tactic, okay? I need you to just buy me ten minutes without committing a crime.

He's hurting, Robert.
Louis is hurting.
You saw what he was like when it happened.
You saw what I was like when it happened to me.
So what am I supposed to do?
I want you to promise me you'll find another way.

Brian: Hey, Louis, can I talk to you for a second?
Louis: Sure as hell can, 'cause I wanna know what the fuck happened in that meeting.

Louis: Zipadeedoodah or Grab My Sack?
Donna: What?
Louis: Messenger service. Which one do we use?

Jessica: Now what's Cameron Dennis offering you?
Harvey: Why does he have to be offering me something?
Jessica: Because he knows: if you wanna keep someone in your house, offer them a better room.

Harvey: I am the best, and I didn't get that way letting someone else call the shots.

Katrina: The last time I saw you, you were worried about going to prison. What did you decide to do?
Louis: I went to Harvey and Jessica, and I told them everything.
Katrina: What?
Louis: Jessica said that I made a mistake, and they're working on a way out.
Katrina: Louis, have you seen... ANY mafia movie ever made?
Louis: I'm not really a fan of the genre. I find it to be a little offensive to Italians...
Katrina: Shut up, and listen. She's telling you to your face she'll let you live, but behind your back, she's making plans to whack you.

Louis: Rachel, Louis. Code Red. Did anybody see you leave my office?
Rachel: Norma gave me a look.
Louis: She's on our side. Rachel, concentrate.
Rachel: I don't even know if I'M on your side.

Mike: You know what I think?
Harvey: What?
Mike: I think we both could've used a better lawyer in that deposition.

Harvey: The investigator and every person being interviewed answers to the CEO they're investigating. That is the definition of duress.
[Making his way over to Herman, the bailiff]
Harvey: It'd be as if your bailiff accused you of sexual harassment and you assigned your stenographer to investigate. Now, how likely would it be that this investigation yielded any fruit?
Judge: You honestly think I would harass Herman?
Harvey: Well, I don't know, your honor, some people have a thing for the uniform.

Judge: You bring an accusation like that into my courtroom, you better be able to back it up.
Harvey: Your Honor, when I told him he took this case to stick it to me, he said, quote, "I did, and now I got her, and you didn't see it coming."
Cameron: You know what, Your Honor? He's right. I am sticking it to him. Guilty as charged - just like his client.
Harvey: Okay, let me...
Judge: That's enough. I am not a washing machine. You two are not here to air your dirty laundry.
Cameron: She admitted to bribing a colonel in the army, and that same army killed these people.
Harvey: Three environmentalists died in the polar ice cap. You think she killed them also?
Cameron: Maybe I'll look into that.
Harvey: You gonna leak it to a corporate raider too?
Judge: [to Cameron] What's he talking about?
Harvey: I'm talking about the fact that he leaked this whole thing to Tony Gianopolous. This is a personal vendetta, and he has no concrete evidence against my client. Not only do I want no bail, I want you to throw this case out right now.
Judge: Well, I'm not gonna do that, but I'll tell you something, Mr. Dennis. I am setting bail - at $1 - and if you don't have any evidence, I'm gonna hear his motion for summary judgment, rule in his favor, and this trial is gonna be over before it even starts.

Daniel: I'll go, but don't kid yourself that this is the last page of the story.

Ava: Do you think I did this?
Harvey: That's irrelevant. I just want to make sure I know all the evidence against you.
Ava: I have no idea what the evidence is, because I had nothing to do with it, and you say it's irrelevant, but it's not irrelevant to me. Do you think I did this?
Harvey: Do you want a lawyer who thinks you're innocent and loses or a lawyer who doesn't want to know and wins?
Ava: You know the answer to that.
Harvey: Then don't ask me that question again, 'cause after I win and you're free, what I think won't matter.

Mike: Goddamn it. Harvey's trying to roll back the T. R. O.
Amy: No, it's not Harvey. Check the docket. It's some woman named Lois Litt.
Mike: [laughs] Yeah. I know how to handle her.

Rachel: I just never thought I'd see the great Harriet Specter making her own copies.
Donna: Is that what this thing does?
Rachel: You've never made a copy in your life before, have you?
Donna: Course not. I'm too busy being a badass... and worrying about my hair.

Katrina: It didn't fail. You impressed him.
Louis: Yeah, that and $45 will get my cat a Brazilian bikini wax.

Louis: Safe words are for pussies.

Stephen: And, by the way, the man is in hiding. His own country can't find him. How the hell did you?
Stephen: Same way you would. You know people here. I know people everywhere.
Harvey: Well, calling those people just screwed us.

Louis: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You and Harvey are letting me in on one of your missions? This is Litt-tastic.

Harvey: Louis, there's no way I'm going to a session with your therapist.
Louis: Actually it would be for the both of us.
Harvey: Are you fucking kidding me? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

What I want, Alex, is to stay managing partner.
This is the way that's gonna happen.
Harvey, I-That's enough.
I'm taking it from here.
It's done.
[♪♪♪]

Katrina: I found out the name of the man Woodall's sending after us: Jeff Malone.
Louis: Jeff Malone is a beast.
Katrina: Well, the only way to beat a beast is with a bigger beast.
Louis: I need to get in there before everyone else and let Harvey and Jessica know that I had the foresight to look for it, the cunning to find it, and the balls to stop it.
Katrina: Then you take on Malone.
Louis: Next stop: Name partner.
Katrina: Pearson Specter... Litt.
Louis: Okay, you know what? Just... Let's not count our chickens before they hatch -- but just for shits and giggles, say it one more time. Leave out Specter.

Donna: Now, get the hell out of your office. I have work to do.

Edward: What do you want?
Harvey: I want out. I win this, you tear up my noncompete and you fire me.
Edward: You hate this merger that much?
Harvey: I had an agreement with Jessica, and I honored it. Then she accused me of trying to get fired. Then she lied to me by claiming that she fought for me to be on this case.
Edward: She really does wanna make up with you, you know.
Harvey: Funny way of showing it.
Edward: Ironic. Her belief that you wanted to be fired led you to wanting to be fired.
Harvey: Do we have a deal or not?
Edward: It appears we do.

Harvey: I shot you in the knees so he wouldn't shoot you in the face. You're welcome.
Mike: You know what, Harvey? I'm gonna take pass on the thank-you and instead skip right to the part where I call you a piece of shit.
Harvey: You know what? I'm getting a little tired of hearing that.

Katrina: You're a good man, Louis Litt. And you will find someone who'll appreciate you.

to Mike having just left?
I don't know, Donna. But to tell you the truth,
I don't care. Okay.
You win.
I'll find out where Judge Thomas is.
[♪♪♪]

Sheila: I didn't want to have to do this, but I'm fertile and I am ripe for the picking. So I don't care whether you have a meeting or not. I'm going to need your Johnny Appleseed.

Louis: You want me to get your T. R. O. removed.
Harvey: How do you know that?
Louis: Because you pissed off Judge Ramos and now she can't stand you.
Harvey: How do you know THAT?
Louis: Oh, because I keep a list of your enemies. You want to see it?

Harvey: Excluding friends, associates and the clients that I represent there are very few people that I'm on a first name basis with. And I've never had anyone, let alone a judge who I've never met, address me as Harvey in open court. But if you're going screw me then I guess it's only fair that you call me by name.

Mike: Donna, I went to the bullpen. Some guy with a soul patch was sitting at my desk.
Donna: That's because it's not your desk anymore, and you're not cool enough to pull off a soul patch.
Mike: I dispute that.
Donna: Are you even capable of growing a soul patch?
Mike: I had a goatee my sophomore year of never.
Donna: Look, it's not your desk anymore because you're on the other side of the bullpen now.
Mike: Which other side?
Donna: The other side. Like, not the side that you were on.
Mike: Towards the door or away from the door?
Donna: Which door are you talking about?
Mike: Which door are YOU talking about?
Donna: You know what? Just shut up and keep walking. You're not here five minutes and you're already a pain in my ass.
[clears throat and shows Mike his new office]
Donna: THIS is the other side of the bullpen.

Harvey: Oh, and you were right.
Mike: I know. About what?
Harvey: Tanner. It was awesome.

Rachel: This is gonna take a while. We're gonna need dinner.
Mike: Chinese.
Rachel: No. I can afford Chinese on my own. This is on the firm. I want sushi.

Louis: If you were looking out for yourself, then why did you lie to me about going to him?
Esther: Because you're always jealous whenever I ask anyone else to do anything. You're my brother, Louis, not my boyfriend.

Dana: You really are a dick.
Louis: I'm Moby goddamn dick, and you just swam in my waters.

Donna: What are you looking for?
Harvey: Another me

Harvey: Jessica, we can't have a name on the wall of a partner that's been disbarred.
Jessica: What the hell do you think I'm doing here?
Harvey: No, I'm not doing it.
Jessica: Yes, you are. Harvey, it's time to take my name off the wall.
Harvey: Not like this, not after all we've been through.
Jessica: I'm good with this, and it's not my firm anymore. It's yours.

Stephen: Now, if you're so appalled by how business is done, may I suggest that you return all of your designer clothes that you look so ravishing in, because they're paid for by the dirty work this firm does.
Donna: We don't kill people.
Stephen: You mean chemical companies that Harvey represents or car companies that Harvey defends? How about insurance providers whose claims he helps deny?
Donna: Don't bring him into this.
Stephen: He's always been in this.
Donna: You know what? I've had enough of this. I didn't really cut off your shit to get your attention. I cut it off because you don't need it anymore. You're fired.

Harvey: Listen to me, you son of a bitch. You pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot my guy, and I don't give a shit if you didn't mean to shoot it, because it went off.

Harvey: Jessica, if you hadn't done as much for me as you have, I'd be heading out the door.
Jessica: If I hadn't done as much for you as I have, I'd be throwing you out the window.

Mike: What Harvey knows is that I'm the "A" team and you're the "B" team, so you can leave the folder or you can take it with you, but if you're looking to ride some partner's coattails, you're gonna have to look somewhere else.
Katrina: Well, the "B" team worked at the D.A.'s office and came up with a defense strategy based on a specific knowledge of Cameron Dennis. The "A" team quotes him movies. We'll see who Harvey does and doesn't value.
Donna: [entering] Katrina, Mike is Harvey's guy. When he tells you he's speaking for Harvey, he's speaking for Harvey. And please don't come into this office when I'm away from my desk again.

Louis: Jack put something on the table, and it's our duty to follow through on it.
Harvey: Oh, bullshit. You're only following through on it because you're a cheap son of a bitch.
Jessica: Harvey...
Harvey: I don't want to hear it, Jessica. Yesterday, he accused me of being jealous. Today, he's coming after my money.
Louis: No, I'm not...
Harvey: Shut up. We both know Donna going to work for you has nothing to do with you. You got lucky.
Louis: Lucky?
Harvey: Like a monkey who won the lottery, so the least you can do is be a man, pay her yourself, or suck it up and tell her the truth.
Jessica: All right. That's enough. We're not doing this.
Louis: I am a name partner.
Jessica: Louis. No.
Louis: He has no right to...
Jessica: I will slap the taste out of your mouth.

Harvey: And what if I told you I don't practice law to make money?
Charles: Then I'd ask ya what do you practice it for?
Harvey: To bend people to my will

Harvey: You're the guy that nobody wants but we can't get rid of.
Louis: But I'm a senior partner.
Harvey: So I can't make you leave, but as far as I'm concerned, you don't even work here anymore.

Jeff: [expecting a two-person meeting but...] You brought Louis in.
Jessica: Of course. Three heads are better than two, unless you have an objection?
Jeff: No. Are you kidding me? I would never turn down a threesome.

and what happens when you do that.
You know, Robert, I just don't get it.
Louis is safe now.
How can you not see that as a good thing?
I know it's a good thing for Louis.
What I'm afraid of is it's gonna become a bad thing for you.

Louis: Because this is Rome, you're a gladiator, and so am I.

Jessica: I am giving you this because it's non-billable work, and the only reason it exists is because of you.
Mike: This again.
Jessica: Excuse me?
Mike: You heard me. I've seen this movie before.
Jessica: And the reason it keeps rerunning is because every time I think I'm done with you, you and your dirty little secret rear your ugly heads.
Mike: You know what, Jessica? I have had it up to HERE with you saying that this is MY dirty little secret. You could have fired me when you found out and you didn't. No, you decided to keep me around because you were more concerned with beating Daniel Hardman and keeping your power, and then you kept me around because you didn't want to lose Harvey, and then you wanted to use my secret to beat Harvey, and then again and again and again; so, please, Jessica, why don't you tell me, when the hell does this become YOUR dirty little secret?

Alex: Kings over seven, motherfucker.

Louis: I'm here for an erection.
Dr. Lipschitz: A... A what now?
Louis: I need a prescription, Stan. I don't care if it's for the blue pill, or for the one with the couples in the bathtubs. I need it now.

Jeff: What are you so afraid of?
Jessica: Do I have to draw you a picture? I'm not the one that made up the saying "You don't shit where you eat."
Jeff: Am I the shit or the food in this little painting of yours?

Harvey: What are you, the apology police?

Donna: Here's the deal. I will take a bullet for you -- and I don't mean that literally -- but what you do for me is, when I need something, you give it to me. It's not just a one-way street.
Harvey: Will you also do some actual secretarial work?
Donna: Take a look at what I did with your calendar there, hotshot.
Harvey: Holy shit. When'd you get that done?
Donna: Mm. I told you I'm not like every other secretary. I'm Donna.

[Jeff and Jessica approach Sean with a deal]
Sean: So what exactly am I getting out of this?
Jessica: You get to save face.
Sean: I do like my face; however, I also like my ass, which will be on the line if I take this deal.
Jessica: Then you have twenty-four hours to decide which one you like more.

Harvey: I'll pull over, and you can sit in the back with Mike.
Louis: Hey, I'm not sitting in the back with a fraud -- and before you even think it, you're not putting him up here and sticking me back there.
Harvey: Then what do you want, Louis? Because there is no way in hell I'm letting you behind the wheel of this car.
Louis: It's crystal goddamn clear. You and I sit in the back, and he chauffeurs the both of us.
Mike: Whoa, no. Uh, even if Harvey would agree to that, which I doubt...
Louis: Shut the hell up. You're not talking. You don't get to refuse.
Mike: I'm not refusing, Louis. I don't know how to drive.
Louis: Holy shit.

Jessica: Leah, I'm not like Dad, and I'm tired of hearing it.
Leah: I know you always say you're not like him, but here you are scrubbing up for the next surgery instead of fighting for the man that you love.
Jessica: You know what? Most sisters would say, "I'm sorry, Jessica," then give me a hug.
Leah: Jessica, I am sorry that you're hurting, and if you want something sugarcoated, I'll order you dessert, but that is not how we show support.
Jessica: You're right. We show it by telling each other what we think, so...
Leah: And what I think is, two days ago, this man loved you; so, unless you cheated on him, stole from him, or killed somebody, it seems to me the two of you should be able to get past whatever it is you did do.

Harvey: [ending his talk with Donna] . Thanks, Mom, but I think I'm gonna keep playing ball in the house.

Mike: We gonna cross the line with this?
Harvey: We've been crossing lines long before we even ever met.

Dr. Lipschitz: If I ask you the one person whose respect you crave the most, who would it be? Don't dwell on it; just say the first name that pops into your head.
Louis: Harvey Specter.
Dr. Lipschitz: Good! What's he like?
Louis: He's like a cross between Marlon Brando and Superman. What?
Dr. Lipschitz: I'm just picturing. This Harvey. is he a friend?
Louis: He's my best friend.
Dr. Lipschitz: Hm. Would he describe you as his best friend?
Louis: What the- what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Dr. Lipschitz: Louis!
Louis: You son of a bitch! You implyin' that I'm not as good as him, that I'm worthless? Well you know what, you Nazi supposed Jew? I don't need to take that from ya; I'm goddamn out of here!

Stephen: You had "a thing?"
Donna: Well... two things, but who's counting?
Stephen: What did he want anyway?
Donna: I thought we agreed not to talk about work at lunch.
Stephen: Yeah, we did, but we also agreed to have lunch at lunch.
[Donna laughs]
Stephen: Yeah, you're right. It's just that, uh, I've always made it my business knowing about things.
Donna: And you're good at your business.
Stephen: Mmm, business is good.
Donna: Ooh, some might say booming.
Stephen: Listen, we've only got fifteen minutes left, so I'll endeavor to be surprisingly quick.
Donna: As long as you continue to be remarkably thorough.

[Mike attests thhat he went to Harvard and received the only A+ ever given by Prof. Gerard]
Louis: I don't believe you, and I don't want to call Gerard up and ask him 'cause I don't want the world laughing at my firm, but if he doesn't walk up to you on Friday and say, "Mike Ross, my beloved student, who I remember because he's the only one I ever gave an A-plus to," well, then I'm gonna know you're lying; and, if you still don't come clean, I'm gonna launch a formal investigation, whether it makes my firm look bad or not.
Mike: This is crazy. There is nothing to investigate.
Louis: Well, I'd rather risk looking crazy to root out an impostor than to risk letting that impostor poison everything that I stand for. It's over, Mike. I'm onto you, and I'm gonna expose you for the lying piece of filth that you are. Don't forget to rinse your mouth out after you're done throwing up.

is happy to comply.
[♪♪♪]
What do you say
we go out and grab those burgers?
ROBERT: Not tonight,
I still have something I have to take care of.

Louis: Associates, they're like grains of sand. They need pressure and heat to shape them into Chihuly glass. Memos from a distant land don't shape shit into shit.
Nigel: Nonsense. I attended boarding school from the tender age of four, during which time I received weekly memos from my father.
Louis: Yeah, and look how you turned out.
Nigel: Graduating summa cum laude from both Cambridge and Harvard is quite the failure. Your parents' choice to "homeschool," much better.
Louis: Okay, that was only till I was ten, and my mother's science fair was legendary.
Nigel: You must be so proud of your uncontested blue ribbons.
Louis: Okay, you know what, I'm not gonna let you shatter the glass that I spent years blowing, and I'm certainly not gonna let the likes of you tell me who I can and cannot blow.

David: Goddamn it. You could have done better.
Harvey: And you could've told me the full fucking story before I only had two days to stop it.

Gretchen: You may have fooled Opie with that metaphor, but we both know you got duck à la shit.
Donna: Okay, new girl, I don't know who you think you're talking to, but this is what I do.
Gretchen: What you do. I've been doing shit like this since you was an itch in your daddy's pants.

Harvey: I'm here to tell you you made your point.
Evan: And what point is that?
Harvey: If you drop any charges against Donna, we'll drop the lawsuit against you.
Evan: Well, that's not a very even trade.
Harvey: I'm giving your client the chance to get away with murder.
Evan: Last I checked, my client wasn't being charged with murder, and I don't need you to drop your suit, because you have no case.
Harvey: No case? Your client put a faulty train on those tracks, people died, and they knew it could happen the whole time.
Evan: And you have no proof.
Harvey: And where I come from, you cut a deal with me to make sure I stop looking.
Evan: Then I guess we come from different places, because I didn't give that video to the district attorney to leverage you into a deal. I did it to blow you out of the water.

Donna: Daniel just made Louis senior partner.
Jessica: How do you know?
Donna: Four years ago, Norma told me that Louis had a suit picked out for the day he made senior partner. He is wearing it.
Jessica: Son of a bitch. Hardman bought another vote.
Donna: What are you going to do?
Jessica: Get it back.

Louis: What are you doing?
Donna: Oh, you know, it's just a little something for your file.
Louis: I have a file?
Donna: That information is classified.
Louis: Wait, why?
Donna: It's in your file.

Jessica: You are not my hair-gelled partner in crime.
Rachel: I haven't used hair gel since ninth grade.
[Jessica gives her a look]
Rachel: I was trying to avoid the frizzy look.

Daniel: I assume you're here to discuss my pending action against your firm.
Robert: I am. I'm also here to drink this 30-year scotch with an old friend.
Daniel: I appreciate that, Robert. But what's the saying? Never trust Greeks bearing gifts?
Robert: I look Greek to you?

Stephen: See you got my affidavit. Well written, wouldn't you say?
Mike: Yeah, so is Lord of the Rings, but you know what they both are? Fiction.

Then what do you need me for? The backup plan.
Which is to get Thomas' original landlord
to beat Simon's deal.
They won't even take my call.
One of us is gonna get this thing done.
But we don't have much time. So are you in or out?

Harvey: You know what? NOW I have to go to the bathroom.
Mike: Go for it. Take your time. No rush.
Mike: [whispering] If it hurts, call someone.

Harvey: Tanner, I hope you still have that quarter I gave you, 'cause I think it's time to call your mom.

Harvey: You're on trial for murder.
Ava: And because of that, a tender offer's being made on a company with my family name. And with all that going on, the fact that I haven't made a statement defending myself is bullshit.
Harvey: It's not bullshit. It's smart.
Ava: Of course you see it that way. You think I'm guilty.
Harvey: I've told you before it doesn't matter what I think, but if you think saying you're innocent is gonna make people believe you, it won't, because you know who says they're innocent? Everybody.

Jessica: I put you out once. When I beat you this time, they're going to have to peel you off the wall.
Daniel: It's nice to see you doing your own dirty work for a change. Unfortunately, this time you can't have Harvey threaten to tell my dying wife or my teenaged daughter about my indiscretions. You didn't even know about Sara, did you?
Jessica: He did what I told him to do.
Daniel: No, you can't even control your own attack dog. Well get this, I wasn't even planning on coming back after Alicia died. Then you sent him and I had no choice.
Jessica: Bullshit. You do what you want to do. You always have, and you always will.
Daniel: Well, water under the bridge. We are where we are, and I like where I am, and we'll see who peels whom off the wall.

Donna: You've had too much coffee.
Harvey: What are you talking about?
Donna: After two cups, your signature slants. After three, it scrawls. And after four, it's chicken scratch. They're not gonna accept these.
Harvey: You're crazy.
Donna: How many cups have you had today?
Harvey: [pause] Five. How'd you do that?
Donna: It's what I do. I read, I analyze, I fix.
Harvey: Bullshit.
Donna: You're wearing a blue shirt, which means you won big in poker last night; you missed a spot shaving, which means you had less than five hours of sleep; and, your left wrist, which you claim you sprained playing basketball, still hasn't healed because your loud tie's hanging ever so slightly to the left - loud, by the way, because you won big in poker last night.
Harvey: For your information, I didn't lose sleep just because of poker.
Donna: Yeah, you did. Melanie's not in the picture anymore.
Harvey: You knew about Melanie?
Donna: And Charlotte. And Nadia.
Harvey: Okay, I don't want you working for me anymore.

Louis: Hey, Simon, come on in. I have a question for you. Come on, you need to see this. Look at this. This is so funny.
[holds a report up to his face]
Louis: That some sort of joke? Nominal in the first paragraph, pagination on the left-hand side, Times New Roman's stupid little feet walking all across the page. And what's that word?
Simon: "Shall?"
Louis: Mmm. At this firm, we instruct, we advise, we order, we must, but we do not "shall."
Simon: That's not really a...
Louis: Why must we "must?"
Simon: Because we thrust, we don't parry.

Daniel: Harvey, Louis, good of both of you to come. Can I offer you a beverage?
Louis: Oh, actually, yeah. I'll take a nice, tall glass of suck a bag of dicks, because this thing's ending right now.

Donna: I'm here because I know you're angry and you're feeling betrayed, but I am not gonna let you throw our friendship away.
Louis: I can't throw away something that never existed in the first place.
Donna: Louis...
Louis: Donna, we're not friends. We were never friends, because it was all based on a lie.
Donna: So you think my giving you this and every other nice thing that I ever did for you was just to keep you from finding out about Mike?
Louis: No, I don't, but I do think if you had the chance to take back all those nice things you did in exchange for me never finding out about your little secret, you'd do it in a heartbeat. You want a chance to tell me the truth? Go ahead. Tell me the truth right now.
[Donna is silent]
Louis: And that answers my question.
Donna: You know what, Louis? It was a bullshit question designed to do nothing but make me feel like shit.
Louis: Mission accomplished, and now I'm gonna tell you what I told Mike. You're dead to me.
Donna: Okay. You want to hate me? Hate me. You want to hate Mike? Hate Mike. But everybody at this firm can't be dead to you, because sooner or later, you're going to need someone.
Louis: Thank you, Donna, but that someone isn't gonna be you.

Mike: [to Nathan] Those kids are going to be fucked up for the rest of their lives, and you seem to care more about closing in the room than getting them the best deal.

Donna: You look happy.
Louis: Do I?
Donna: Why?
Louis: Um, I don't know, Donna, it's hard to explain. All right, I'll tell you. Mikado finally slept in my bed last night, and when I woke up this morning, it felt like the whole world was hugging me. I lost nine ounces, my teeth whiteners are working, I found five new hairs on the top of my head, and to top it all off, I just found out that Esther broke her foot in three places.
Donna: Your sister?
Louis: Yeah, crutches for seven months. Serves her right. Dad's favorite.

Rachel: You said he was going to fix it.
Mike: I thought he would.

Sheila: The point is, have you ever considered the possibility that you're shooting blanks?
Louis: No more than I would consider the possibility that I don't have a face.
Sheila: I get that, Louis, and you probably have the sperm of a thoroughbred, but I'd like you to get yourself checked.

Jessica: Goddamn it, Louis. That is the fifth tenant you have scared away because of some bullshit.
Louis: This isn't bullshit, Jessica.
Jessica: Really? Since when do you care about the environment? Or genetically modified cucumbers? Or the plight of the LGBT community?
Louis: Those are legitimate causes close to my heart.
Jessica: You're being ridiculous.
Louis: Yeah, well, had the French been more ridiculous, they wouldn't have the Nazis goose-stepping through their streets for six years.

Mike: I'm sorry that I lied to you. I'm not a con man, Louis. Every single other thing I ever told you was true. Want to know something that never even admitted to myself? I never learned to drive for the same reason I never went to law school. Both my parents were killed in a car accident, and, ever since then, I've never been able to...
Louis: ...Get behind the wheel.
Mike: And then Harvey gave me a license, and I took it.
Louis: You were eleven years old. I mean, you must have felt so... alone.
Mike: I thought you said you didn't believe I was an orphan.
Louis: I looked it up. I had to once I found out that you never went to law school.
Mike: You mean once you found out that I'm a fraud.
Louis: You're not a fraud, Mike. You just never went to law school.

Harvey: I just did exactly what he wanted, and he acted like a dick, and he's not gonna stop.
Jessica: He's not gonna stop because you didn't do what he wanted.
Harvey: What? Jessica, I just got up there and kissed his ass in front of the entire partnership and pretended to like it.
Jessica: Exactly. Pretended.
Harvey: Oh, you want me to actually like it?
Jessica: I want you to make him feel accepted.
Harvey: Jessica.
Jessica: Harvey, what Louis wants is to be accepted; and, like it or not, the person he wants that from the most is you; so, you're gonna go to him and make nice, and that's how we're gonna put all of this to bed.
Jeff: [comes up to them] You want to tell me what the hell that was?
Harvey: If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna let Jessica handle this conversation. I have to go kill myself.

Harvey: There's only one way to get Cameron thrown off this case.
Mike: Prove he colluded with Gianopoulos. Turn Bullshit Highway into... Fact Highway.
Harvey: Fact Highway?
Mike: Yeah, you know, it's right next to 'I Don't Want To Talk About This Anymore' Lane.

Harvey: It was bad enough that Nigel rattled you with your unread cat letters. Now you're letting Mike do this?
Louis: Harvey, please.
Harvey: Shut the hell up! Look, I tried to warn you, and you stood there with your stupid leg up in the air, telling me that the student was no match for the master, and ALL IT TOOK was ONE DOCTORED picture for you to SHIT the bed!

Harvey: I couldn't close him.
Jessica: Are you trying to tell me that you couldn't be nice to Louis even for this?
Harvey: No, I'm not. You said I'm the thorn in his side, and I tried to take it out, but you're the one who's had what he wants all these years and didn't give it to him.
Jessica: Senior partnership.
Harvey: You need to tell him that he deserves it.
Jessica: That's what I sent you to do.
Harvey: He needs to hear it from you.
Jessica: You know I sent you to do this one thing, and you can't... Fine, I'll talk to him.
Harvey: Wait a minute. You know him. You knew this. This is where it always ended up.
Jessica: You got me.
Harvey: Why would you send me first?
Jessica: Because if Louis didn't have to work to get me there, he wouldn't believe me when I went.
Harvey: You're playing chess while everybody else is playing checkers.
Jessica: And you're just getting that, Mr. I'm The Best Closer This City's Ever Seen?

Harvey: Why should we trust a man who sent Stephen over here to cover his ass?
Edward: I sent Stephen over here because I care about Ava, which is why I sent him to the E. I. R. in the first place. I had no idea he would do what he did, and I have been trying to fix it ever since.

Dr. Lipschitz: Louis, I know our session didn't go as planned, but I do think there is still some hope. So I'd like your blessing to begin seeing Harvey one on one.
Louis: What? Are you fucking kidding me? You're choosing his side again?
Dr. Lipschitz: I am not choosing his side, Louis. I am trying to help both of you.
Louis: No, you're not, because anyone who has a choice between Harvey and me always chooses him.

Louis, our unborn son will be a Litt.
He'll respect us for being dirty.
You're 100 percent right, we can be as filthy as we want.
I'll get the bananas. What are you, crazy?
You're going to be the mother of my child.
I'll get the bananas.

Donna: Louis, what happened?
Louis: Oh. I'll tell you what happened. This stupid merger. It's bad enough my vote is worth a third of what it was last week. Now our uni-balls - gone.
Donna: Our... what?
Louis: Pens, Donna. The new quartermaster, Barbara L. Tottingham, will not buy us any more uni-balls. There's not one single uni-ball in this entire firm.
Donna: Please stop saying uni-ball.
Louis: No, I will not. Stuck with these stupid plastic things that keep breaking.
Donna: So buy your own pen.
Louis: [astounded] But... Okay. There are two things in this firm that I hold very sacred - my uni-balls and my raspberry Bran bars, and if I have to go and buy 'em myself, well, then, this Barbara L. Tottingham has a message for me, loud and clear, and that's "Louis Litt, go screw yourself."

Harvey: What are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head?
Mike: What are you talking about? You do what they say or they shoot you.
Harvey: WRONG. You take the gun, or you pull out a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a hundred and forty six other things.

Harvey: You haven't taken Forstman's money yet. He's got some kind of gun to your head. You're just trying to use his promise of cash as leverage against me.
Mike: This isn't a bluff, Harvey. I came here to give you a way out.
Harvey: Bullshit. You came here to give yourself a way out, but I wasn't born yesterday and I'm not giving it to you..

Louis: The two of you decided who's running this firm without including me in the conversation.
Harvey: What are you talking about? You signed the agreement.
Louis: The agreement that you drew up, and just expected me to be okay with.
Robert: You're saying that you want to be managing partner?
Louis: No, Robbie. But you wouldn't know that, because you never asked, and I will not be the third wheel just because my name comes last.
Robert: No one thinks of you as a third wheel, Louis.
Louis: Oh, really? Because you wouldn't be here if it weren't for me, and you wouldn't have a firm at all if it weren't for me. I saved both your fucking asses, and not only didn't you think to thank me, as far as I can tell, you didn't even clock what I did. Now, I am a partner just as much as you, and I am done having to remind you of that. So the next time there's a decision to be made, guys, you better pull up a seat for me at that table, or I swear to God, I will break the whole goddamn thing in two.

Gordon: You know, I'm going to tell you something I never told you before. You might not want to hear it now, but... You know what your grandmother said to me when I told her I was going to ask your mother to marry me?
Harvey: What?
Gordon: Don't. Because if she'll cheat on someone else with you, she'll cheat on you with someone else. We had a huge blowout. I told her to shove it up her ass. Lily wouldn't do that. She would... she'd be different with me, because Lily loved me.
Harvey: Dad...
Gordon: No, no, let me finish. Ten years later, I found out the other guy thought the same thing. What I'm trying to say is, even if Cameron believes that he'll never make you do it again, he will.

Donna: Okay, look. You want to be mad at Harvey, fine, but you might as well be mad at me, because I told Mike the same thing.
Rachel: What?
Donna: I dragged Mike into Harvey's office, and I told him that Harvey was right.
Rachel: That Mike should lie to me?
Donna: No. I told him that he should get over you.
Rachel: Was that before or after I came to you and told you that I kissed him and that I called him and told him how I felt?
Donna: It was after.
Rachel: You told him not to be with me, and then you let me think that he didn't care about me.
Donna: No, I told him what I thought, and then I tried to help you move on because their truth wasn't mine to tell you.
Rachel: I thought you were my friend.
Donna: I am.
Rachel: You cared more about protecting Harvey than protecting me.
Donna: Yes, Rachel! That's my job!
Rachel: I get that everyone's jobs are important. This wasn't about a job for me. It was about having a life, but I guess you wouldn't understand that.

Louis: Harvey, do you have a second?
Harvey: Sure, Louis, what is it?
Louis: Did you ever have to test your sperm?
Harvey: What?
Louis: Sheila wants me to, but I don't think I can do it in one of those places.
Harvey: Louis, I don't want to have this conversation. It's bad enough that we share the same dentist.

Harvey: You're right, I am a pice of shit, but that doesn't make what I'm telling you any less true.

Harvey: Alex suggested that we make you senior partner. We discussed it and decided you weren't ready.
Mike: Why are you telling me this?
Harvey: Because I might have been wrong myself.
Mike: Harvey, Rachel and I are trying to make more time for each other, so if in a couple of months, you still feel like you might have made the wrong decision, then go ahead and promote me, but I'm not losing any sleep over it now.

[Stemple motions for substitute counsel to avoid Harvey in court]
Harvey: I was just wondering if he has a copy of his motion, because we never got one.
Elliott: Uh, not with me, Your Honor. Something suddenly came up. My niece... she took ill.
Judge: Well, when your family is sick, you have to tend to them.
Mike: Your Honor, Mr. Stemple may not have a copy of his motion, but we do have a copy of his family tree.
[presenting a sheet]
Mike: He had no nieces.
Elliott: I meant "niece" figuratively. She is actually my goddaughter.
Harvey: And what is exactly her name?
Elliott: Sandra Silverstein.
Mike: Your Honor, that's the same fictitious goddaughter that's taken ill every time Mr. Stemple's needed a continuance in the last five years.
Harvey: Sounds serious.
[to Stemple]
Harvey: Have you tried acupuncture?

Donna: What are you gonna do?
Harvey: What do you think I'm gonna do? I gave my word. I'm gonna get him his fucking money.

Nick: [to Alex] You don't call my bluff. I call yours. So tell Harvey, or Stu, or whoever the fuck sent you it didn't work, and get out of my firm 'cause make no mistake, come tomorrow, this place is mine.

Jessica: Zoe, I'm still not convinced I should hire you instead of Ted Phillips. After all, Harvey never tried to sleep with Ted Phillips.
Harvey: Who says I never tried to sleep with Ted Phillips?

Well, if there's one thing I've come around on,
when it comes to family, forgiveness
is a hell of a lot better than anger.
I'll think about it.
That's the most I can ask.
[♪♪♪]

Mike: You didn't tell me you were bringing me here.
Harvey: And that's a problem how?
Mike: I'm sort of banned from here.
Harvey: For smoking weed?
Mike: Counting cards. I mean I was smoking weed, but they banned me for counting cards. My brain just does it. I-I can't help that it keeps track!
Harvey: And that's your defense?
Mike: It was three years ago. I was broke.
Harvey: Well, which is it, your brain just does it or you were broke?
Mike: What are you, some kind of lawyer?
Harvey: Get inside. You're wearing a tux. They're not gonna know who you are.

and whether you believe it or not,
I've got its best interests at heart.
You got a funny way of showing it.
Because from where I stand, Harvey is the firm,
and you don't seem to have his back at all.
[♪♪]

Alex: Donna told Thomas everything.
Harvey: That's... no. How could she do that?
Alex: I don't know, but what I do know is he dropped out and he's taking out a full paid ad in the Journal to say it.
Harvey: Fuck.

Mike: It's not your fault, Harvey. I made my case. I convinced you to hire me.
Harvey: I was the one that made the call.
Mike: You were. But it doesn't matter. 'Cause even knowing how it all turned out, I'd do it again.

Louis: And, if you value this friendship at all, you would stay out of it, because I'm going to the mattresses against Dana Scott.
Harvey: "Mattresses?" Have you been watching The Godfather?
Louis: Yeah, I've been trying to come up with some common ground to expand our friendship. Sue me.

Harold: [talking to Rachael] What is it about ballet? I just... I don't get it, you know? There's no, um, words, there's no story, there's no action. It's just all
[jumps]
Harold: and
[jumps]
Harold: and like
[jumps in the air waving his arms as Louis approaches behind him]
Harold: I don't...
[Rachel clears throat]
Harold: Please tell me that Louis isn't behind me.
Louis: Louis isn't behind you. Hi.
Harold: [nervous] Hi.
Louis: Penelope Cruz, Zoe Saldana, Audrey Hepburn -- what do they all have in common?
Harold: They're all hot?
Louis: No, dumbass. They all owe their success to ballet because it gives them discipline and grace, it embodies our emotions, it's breathtaking in its beauty, and, most importantly, it expresses what cannot be put into words. You want to get ahead here, Harold? Take ballet, because right now, the only thing that's breathtaking about you can easily be put into words: nothing. Now relevé your ass back to work.

Harvey: I'm not the guy who give's you a hug when you're scared. I'm the guy that wins when he needed the most.

Harvey: I'm taking Mike to the marathon footwear brunch.
Dana: You're taking a date to an I.P.O. event? That's so cute.
Harvey: It's not a date. He's never gonna put out.

Mortician: [as Louis shops for an urn] Have you made a decision, sir?
Louis: No, I haven't made a decision, you shyster dealer of death.
Donna: Okay, I think maybe we're gonna need another minute.
Louis: No, we don't. I don't need another minute to see that this looks like a pot from Home Depot, this looks like a lamp from Motel 6, and this looks like a goddamn howitzer shell. You are lucky that I don't take this mockery of a final resting place and shove it up your ass!

Mike: Okay, Louis, I'm sorry, but is it possible that this has nothing to do with work and what she's actually saying is that she wants to be exclusive with you?
Louis: Oh, Mike, you're so silly. You know nothing about women. If she wanted to be exclusive with me, she'd just come right out and say... it... Holy shit, it was staring me right in the face.

Mike: What's going on?
Harvey: Partners meeting. Essential personnel only.
Mike: In the middle of the night?
Harvey: You afraid of the dark?
Mike: I wouldn't be if I had my Cookie Monster with me.
Harvey: Well, then go get him, because we're finalizing the terms of the merger.
Mike: We?
Harvey: We.
Mike: So I'm a partner now?
Harvey: Easy, Marcia Clark. Jessica and I discussed it. You're responsible for making this merger happen. You deserve to be here.

Neither am I, Donna. This thing isn't over.
I just need you to have faith.
I'll text you in the morning.
Please, don't do anything until you hear from me.
Okay, Harvey.
I'll wait to hear from you.

Mike: What do you want?
Louis: I already got what I wanted from you. Name partner.
Mike: You must want something else, otherwise you wouldn't be here.
Louis: See, that's what I love about you, Mike. Almost always a step ahead. What I want from you is to know that you're dead at my law firm.
Mike: You can't fire me.
Louis: Why would I fire you when I can break you? You see, I'm going to bury you under a mountain of shit so big you're going to be begging me to take it off, and all you have to do is say two simple words - the same two words that you let me say to Harvey and Jessica. "I resign."

Louis: And speaking of coming first, imagine our little love bug rolling to the playground in this bad boy.
Sheila: Wait, is this...
Sheila: Yup. Paternity Magazine's top pick.
Louis: Yeah, and it's also $2,000. Louis, can we really ask people to buy this for us?
Sheila: Sheila, let me explain something to you. All of our friends are rich. And as any rich person will tell you, gifts are the truest form of love.

Donna: Listen to the words that I'm saying: You're getting drinks with Louis tonight.
Harvey: Fairchild's retiring.
Donna: Fairchild's dead.
Harvey: That's almost as good as the Jordan news
Donna: Eh, not to Fairchild
Harvey: Who gives a shit about Fairchild? The real tragedy is that I have to get drinks with Louis.
Donna: Which is why I got you a secluded restaurant with a table in the back where no one will see you.
Harvey: And you'll call a half an hour in and say there's an emergency.
Donna: Already in place, and if I can't get through, then I'll just have the waiter spill drinks all over Louis.
Harvey: You could have that done?
Donna: Oh, please. I could have Louis held captive in a Tibetan monastery if I wanted to.

Louis: Don't let the moment pass. Don't let the people you love walk by you without letting them know how you feel about them, because life slips by and then it's over, and I'm not gonna let another minute pass me by without letting you know ho much you mean to me.

Mike: [about Louis] He's like the captain of mixed metaphors.

Harvey: I think you probably went in there and said something like, "You're gonna drop these lawsuits and you're gonna forget about coming after any of our clients." And he said, "Our clients? Don't you mean my clients?"
Alex: And I said, "No, motherfucker, I don't." Because I'm at Pearson Specter now, and he's not getting my clients.

Rachel: Saw you scheduled a meeting with Mike. I assume that means you're going to offer him a deal.
Harvey: It could mean I'm going to offer him a trip to Disneyland.
Rachel: But it doesn't.
Harvey: Of course not, he'd probably want to wear mouse ears, and then nobody wins. You're welcome.

Mike: Harvey, did you tell him that it was me?
Harvey: Why would I do that? I'm responsible for you. It was me.

Oliver: What are you doing here? Thought you weren't supposed to have anything to do with this anymore.
Mike: I'm not. But there's nothing in that agreement that says I can't come watch my friend Oliver kick some ass in court.
Oliver: Strap the hell in. 'Cause this motherfucker is going down.

Harvey: Mike has access to Forstman and his $4 billion, Logan's on his way over to discuss our next move, which we can't make for two more weeks because Louis thought Sheila was marrying Lorenzo Lamas, but I just got a mug with something stupid printed on it, so now everything's okay.

Harvey: What are you going to do?
Jessica: I'm going to break him down, and I'm going to crack him open.

Louis: And here's a little something you obviously do not know about investment banking: The only thing more satisfying to these guys than money is sticking it to someone who stuck it to them.

Louis: What I learned from hiring Mike was that not all great lawyers went to Harvard.
Jessica: What are you saying?
Louis: I contacted Stanford, Yale, Columbia, Penn, and all the rest... Top 20 law schools. I officially opened up the doors to Pearson Specter Litt.
Jessica: I know how much you hated to do that, Louis, but sometimes we need to do what we have to... to survive.
Louis: Is there anything else I can do?
Jessica: No, there isn't. Right now, we just need to get through this trial, and pray to God that Harvey gets Mike goddamn Ross off the hook.

Louis: [in a voiceover] Dear Harvey and Jessica, there comes a time when a man must look at himself in the mirror, to judge himself instead of waiting to be judged by others, and for me that time is now. You both know I came to Pearson Specter right out of law school, but what you may not know is this is the only place I've ever worked. It's the only place I've ever wanted to work. It is my life, it is my home, and the people that work here are my family. You're like my parents, and the partners, they're like my brothers, and associates under my care are like my children. And I'm ashamed to admit it, but I put all of you in jeopardy for my own personal gain. I told myself it was for the greater good, but the truth is I-I just wanted to feel on the same level as both of you, I... I can deny that no longer. I can excuse my actions no longer. Although we've had our differences over the years, there are no two people I respect more. Your names are on the wall for a reason, and mine is not for a reason, and I refuse to put either one of you through the pain of having to fire me; so, effective immediately, I, Louis Litt, am resigning from Pearson Specter. Please take care of my home.

Donna: Love me how?
[Harvey doesn't answer]
Donna: That's what I thought. You either can't answer or you won't, which is bullshit because, obviously, you don't just look at me this way. You're capable of looking at me THAT way, but you don't want to let those worlds collide because you're afraid to risk anything.
Harvey: Because we have everything!
Donna: No, Harvey, YOU have everything!
Harvey: So, you're saying you want everything?
Donna: I don't know, Harvey, but what I do know is I don't want your pity.

Louis: [on the phone] What do you mean, you don't have diamond-encrusted business cards? Fine, what about the embossed ivory? Okay, great, well, how much would 10,000 of those run me? Money's no object. What, are you crazy? I'm not paying that much -- unless it comes with a reach-around, which, by the way, I'm still not paying that much. Elite Printing, my ass.
[hangs up]

Harvey: Good lawyers worry about facts. Great lawyers worry about their opponents. Kyle is cocky and devious. Figure out a way to use that against him.
Mike: Okay. Anything else?
Harvey: Kick his ass.

Anita: Normally this is the part where I leave the room, but almost looks like you want me to stay. But if you're innocent to these charges, I'm sure you have nothing to fear being alone in this room with that man.

Louis: Okay, I was in the Harvard file room with Sheila. Don't ask details. And I noticed Mike Ross' file was not there.
Donna: You specifically looked for his file?
Louis: Yes, and I looked for Harvey's too, and his was there - and, by the way, he looked like a major douche.

Louis: You once told me what to do when your back's against the wall.
Harvey: Break the goddamn thing down.

Harvey: There's gonna come a day, Louis, when I need something from you, and when I do, you're gonna remember that I let this pass. Daniel Hardman is not the answer. You owe me.

Harvey: Hey, honey, I'm home.
Jessica: Did you remember to pick up the kids like I asked?
Harvey: Yep. The youngest one's turning into a real pain in the ass.

Jessica: Harvey, is there something you'd like to tell me about Ava?
Harvey: Yeah, some clients can be a pain in the ass.
Jessica: Some ex-clients too.
Harvey: Temporary situation.
Jessica: Good, good, 'cause I just wanted to make sure you were still all over it.
Harvey: Did you want to make sure the sun was still shining and the sky was still blue?
Jessica: I'd be humble after I got fired... if I ever got fired.

Mike: Harvey, you didn't just give me my dream. You gave me a family. But I'm gonna have a family of my own someday, and I can't have all of this hanging over their heads.
Harvey: You're resigning.
Mike: I am.
Harvey: You know, you once asked me why I hired you, and I told you it was because life is like this and I like this.
Mike: Harvey, please, you can't convince me...
Harvey: Let me finish. It was like this not because of the risk we're taking. It's because of who you are.
Mike: So you're not disappointed?
Harvey: Are you kidding me? After that speech, if you hadn't done this, I'd be kicking you out. And for the record, you're not the only one who got more family out of this deal.

Harvey: Anyone can do my job, but no one can be me.

I just wanted to let you know
that she's sleeping like the angel she is.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
We'll both be waiting for you.
I love you, Sheila.
I love you too.

Harvey: [to Mike] Your job is to help me, not to screw me! If I tell you you did that, I don't wanna hear that you didn't. I should have fired you last week. You know what? I should fire you right now, but I cut you slack because your grandmother died. Well, you've used up the rope. You keep it up, I will fire you tomorrow!

{\an1}I could have, Judy,
- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hnot anymore.
{\an1}Samantha, please.
{\an1}I used that word with you.
- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI said,
{\an1}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Please, don't let them take me."
{\an1}But it turns out you could have
- \h\h\hstopped them and you didn't.
{\an1}So now I'm giving up on you.

Louis: And I would like YOU to know who's working for YOU, 'cause Mike here --he's the best steak YOU'LL ever have.

Louis: This is just ridiculous. If Harold isn't broken by now, I'll shit my pants.
Harvey: If Harold's broken, then when we get there, Mike's gonna be on his way to prison.
Louis: Someone needs to get in there and hold his hand.
Harvey: Not someone. You.
Louis: Are you serious? I'm the last person in the world that Harold Gunderson wants to see right now.
Harvey: Louis, when we were associates, who did you fear most?
Louis: That's easy. My mother.
Harvey: I meant in the firm.

Donna: Welcome home, sailor. You were out to sea a long time.
Mike: I was, but now I'm back, and this place hasn't changed a bit.
[looking at Harvey's vinyl records]
Mike: Maybe it has. Is this a new Spinner's album?
Donna: No, and you know it's not new. You and Harvey joked about it.
Mike: I could have sworn that was a different one.
Donna: Said the man with the photographic memory.

Harvey: What are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head?
Mike: What are you talking about? You do what they say or they shoot you.
Harvey: WRONG. You take the gun, or you pull out a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a hundred and forty six other things.

I'm doing what you should be doing with him.
Then tell me what you're talking about,
or get out of my goddamn office
because I've got a client to sign.
Sorry to bother you, Alex. Good luck with that client.
[♪♪]

Harvey: I can't delay the sale if I don't know why my client is dumping his company on a whim.
Gretchen: That's the one more thing. Mr. Doyle's best friend died a month ago of pancreatic cancer. He was 46.
Harvey: How'd you know that?
Gretchen: Something he said to you just before he started talking shit about me stuck in my head.
Harvey: What exactly was that?
Gretchen: When people say "life is short" two times in 30 seconds, it's usually right after somebody died.
Harvey: I take it you were listening to our conversation.
Gretchen: That's what good secretaries do.
Harvey: Sorry about the Keebler thing.
Gretchen: ou didn't say it. Besides, it doesn't take Albert Einstein to figure out why you hired somebody that look like me to replace somebody that look like her.
Harvey: Listen, Gretchen, I...
Gretchen: You don't have to worry about that with me. I prefer my men manly.
Harvey: [Taken aback] Am I not manly?
Gretchen: Well, if you have to ask...

Rachel: Well, what are YOU so happy about?
Mike: I made bubble-wrap slippers this morning while you were in the shower.
Rachel: I specifically told you the bubble wrap is for the dishes.
Mike: I also made a hat.
Rachel: Okay, I'm moving in with a 10-year-old.

Mike: What is this?
Harvey: A copy of Brides Magazine.
Mike: Why is it on my desk?
Harvey: How else are you gonna pick your colors?
Mike: Colors? What are colors? How do you know what they are?
Harvey: Because I'm a grown man.
Mike: Really? 'Cause you sound more like a grown woman.
Harvey: That's very hurtful.

Harvey: [watching a Folsom Foods promo] Got to give it to him. His food might suck, but he makes a mean bullshit pie.
Mike: Okay, please don't put that image in my mind. I'm eating, thank you.
Harvey: What have to got there? Vomit bagel. Feces pancake?
[disgusted, Mike throws his donut in the trash]

Jessica: The Ehlo jumper was a game-winner.
Harvey: The layup was a statement: "I can do whatever I want. I own this league."
Jessica: Are you talking about Jordan or yourself now?
Harvey: Is there a difference?
Jessica: A big difference, which brings me to why I'm here. You can't do whatever you want, Harvey.
Harvey: You want me to make things right with Louis.
Jessica: He made things right between Jeff and me.
Harvey: So I'm supposed to kiss his ass forever because of that?
Jessica: No, you're supposed to make peace.

Mike: Kevin, trusts and estates?
Donna: No, it's too meek. It's gotta be a woman. Who is it?
Harold: Harold. I need a stapler.
Donna: I was right.

Mike: Gloating? No, no-no-no. I'm not... I'm not gloating. I'm merely recognizing the fact that you completely changed your mind based entirely on what I said.
Harvey: Which is gloating.
Mike: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Harvey: Why take the bar?
Mike: This dickhead bet me I couldn't pass it without going to law school.

Louis: What I want is respect!
Donna: Then get out of your own way and get on the god-damn team!
Louis: You mean the team that kept Mike's secret from me?
Donna: NO, Louis! I mean the team that protected its own, because that's what teams do! And, you know, I shouldn't even be telling you this, because she wasn't going to, but if you need a little bit more evidence of what we do for each other, then take a look at Rachel, because she got Katrina a job.
Louis: What?
Donna: That's right. Your former associate -- and you've been treating Rachel like shit. So, if you're done yelling at me, then I suggest you go fix one of the thousand things that you've screwed up lately, because the rest of us -- we are DONE fighting for you!

Samantha: I'm not going anywhere near that man's account.
Alex: Yes, you are, because you knew my history and you let me sign him anyway.
Samantha: Are you fucking kidding me? I brought up your history.
Alex: And you knew I was in no position to trust you.

Louis: Holy shit. What did... what did I just do?
Katrina: I'll tell you what you're gonna do. You're gonna stop writing in that pussy diary, and you're gonna show Jessica you're the one who should be sitting in that corner office.
Louis: All right. Ready the dictaphone. We're gonna need it.

Samantha: Handsome, powerful men, goes one of two ways. You either want a woman who doesn't challenge you at all or you want one who challenges you all the time.
Harvey: I'm sorry, I stopped listening after the handsome and powerful part.

Louis: I read the Eric Woodall deposition, and I thought I could help.
Jessica: Help what?
Louis: You're here to shut down Sean Cahill, and he's not gonna give up without a fight.
Jessica: Louis, I don't have time for this. So take your arguments and get the hell out of here.
Louis: Please, Jessica, I want to help.
Jessica: I don't need your help. We're about to put this thing to bed.
Louis: And I feel responsible.
Jessica: You *are* responsible. You are the entire reason we are in jeopardy, and you want to sit your stupid face in front of Cahill? You may as well wear a sign that says "depose me next". And if he does that, you will tumble like a House of Cards, because you are ruled by your emotions, and that is the reason why we are in this situation in the first place.

Sheila: You crossed out Jaime and Cersei Lannister.
Louis: I thought they were too controversial a couple.

Jessica: You tell me that you didn't lie because we never directly asked you the question, and I will knock your head off.

Mike: [repeated line]
Mike: Shiiiiiiiit!

Jeff: I just pulled Adam Grieves as opposing counsel. And long story short, he hates me, and I could really use Jessica's help to run some interference, but I'm the new guy, it's only my second case, and I don't know what to do.
Louis: Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get you front-row tickets to Jessica Pearson's help.

"He who passes the sentence should swing the sword."
You know I can never argue with Ned Stark.
Thank you.
Katrina.
Make them clean deaths. I will.
[♪♪♪]

{\an1}\h\h\hNick.
- No, no, no.
{\an1}You don't call my bluff.
- I call yours.
{\an1}So tell Harvey, or Stu, or whoever the ---sent you
{\an1}it didn't work, and get out of my firm
{\an1}'cause make no mistake, come tomorrow,
{\an1}this place is mine.

What if he'd been able to leverage himself
into Name Partner somewhere else?
Then you and Robert Zane would learn
that if you can't figure shit out,
the only people who are gonna get hurt are you.
[♪♪♪]

You never will.
Now back the hell off,
and get the hell out of my office.
[♪♪♪]
Louis, relax. I was just trying to--
Get the hell out!

Rachel: The new opposing counsel is my dad.
Mike: Your dad is Robert Zane?
Rachel: Is it so hard to believe that my father's black?
Mike: Robert Zane is black?
Rachel: You think this is a year round tan?

Mike: Our discussion gave me an idea.
Rachel: Our discussion?
Mike: Can we please not fight about what to call our fight?

Mike: Wait a minute. You read my mail?
Trevor: What's the point of going through it if I'm not gonna read it?

Edward: They've decide to take on Ava Hessington personally.
Jessica: Who is they?
Edward: The U. S. government. I've decided to let Harvey handle it.
Jessica: Why?
Edward: Why not?
Jessica: It's not a good time. He's still digesting the merger.
Edward: Meaning?
Jessica: He's acting out.
Edward: Well, he may be acting out, but I understand he just got his client triple the money.
Jessica: By taking a huge risk he didn't have to.
Edward: This case, he may have to.

Harvey: That's okay, I deserved it.
Jessica: What?
Harvey: Do you remember when he was so mad when his cat peed in the corner of his office?
Jessica: Mm-hm.
Harvey: That wasn't his cat.

Are you sure you want to do this, Harvey?
Are you sure you want to go?
I am.
No turning back now.
Good,
- 'cause your new boss called.
He'll be here in an hour.
- Wants to have a word.

Mike: Sorry about this, Harvey.
Harvey: Could have been worse.
Mike: What, you thought they had me for being a fraud?
Harvey: Well, I didn't think they had you for overdue library books. Why'd you go with them in the first place? Didn't your grandmother ever teach you not to get into cars with strangers?
Mike: I was being cooperative.
Harvey: Well, don't do that again.

anymore than I already have.
Katrina, I told you if your partnership's
on the line, my partnership's on the line.
I know, but I got this.
Go home.
[♪♪♪]

Gerald: We keep offering them more money, they keep rejecting it. It's last-minute bad faith bullshit.
Harvey: Says here that Cooper won't be staying on as Honorary Vice-President.
Gerald: That's right, I don't want him around.
Harvey: He wouldn't be around, it's an honorary position.
Gerald: I don't give a shit.
Harvey: Well, I think you do because that's what's changed since I left, which means it's *you* who's been dealing in bad faith.

Robert: We're in here arguing about who's better between you and me. What if Louis turns out better than both of us?
Harvey: Jesus Christ, that'd be the worst Rocky ever.
Robert: No, Rocky V is still the worst Rocky ever.
Harvey: Finally, something we can agree on.
Robert: Truth be told, I never even saw Rocky VI.
Harvey: Neither did anybody else, Robert.
Robert: You know, that new Creed franchise, oh, that's quite a little something.
Harvey: Really?
Robert: Mm-hmm.
Harvey: Maybe I should watch it tonight. Want to come over?
Robert: Do I look like I don't have nothing to do but to come and watch Rocky VII with your lonely ass?
Harvey: But I got popcorn.
Robert: ...I'll call Laura.

Sheila: And you should know that you're not the only one with a clock.
Louis: The dean gave you a clock today, too?
Sheila: Not that kind of clock. I have an internal clock.
Louis: Sheila, are you saying what I think you're saying?
Sheila: Yes, I am, because when I told you you're the perfect man, Louis Litt, I meant it. And I want to make a perfect baby with you.
Louis: Are you sure?
Sheila: Absolutely. And I don't want to just pull the goalie. I want to start trying. And I want to start trying right now.

Jessica: Harvey, it's time you and I had the talk.
Harvey: I know where babies come from.
Jessica: But do you know how couples stay together?
Harvey: What are you getting at?
Jessica: When Daniel and I took over the firm, we had a heart-to-heart. He had a philosophy that I agreed to live by.
Harvey: Daniel was a piece of shit.
Jessica: Doesn't mean his philosophy was.

[Harvey asks Louis to forget his issues and forgive Mike]
Louis: You said we're friends. A friend would not ask me to do this.
Harvey: No, Louis. A friend just won't hold it against you if you don't.

Harvey: You ambushed me with a cup of coffee.

Mike: Look, the gift certificate is from Peter's Steak House, the place that you and I saved -- together; and, after we saved it, you told me that we had something in common.
Louis: Yeah, I don't give a shit.
Mike: Yes, you do, because what we had in common was a love of the law. You told me that when you asked me to be your associate, Louis, and... I'm still the same person.
Louis: And if I found out a woman I had something in common with was actually a man, I wouldn't keep seeing her.

Louis: I need a list of everything that's wrong with the rehearsal space. For example, the creaky floorboards, they're affecting certain dancers' attitudes.
Harold: Oh, they shouldn't let that get them down.
Rachel: "Attitude" is a pose.
Harold: Oh, yeah, like striking an attitude. Whatever, I do that all the time.
Louis: Okay. I also need a list of the ballet company principals.
Harold: Okay, um, integrity, fidelity, patriotism...
Rachel: Not that kind of principle.
Louis: [to Harold] Okay, we're done.
Harold: How am I supposed to know?
Louis: Rachel, you've just been drafted.
Harold: Oh, but she's not even a...
Louis: Not what? She's not what, Harold? Ms. Zane not only knows more about ballet than you do, she also knows more about law.

Rachel: The day after what happened in here happened, I shut you out, but then, a week later, you came to my door, and you said you weren't gonna let me go without a fight.
Mike: That is not the same. I wanted you to fall in love with me.
Rachel: I was already in love with you, and you knew it.
Mike: Yeah, well, Louis is a lot of things, but he's not in love with me.
Rachel: He used to be. You just have to make him remember that.

Robert: Harvey, uh, one more thing. You do still owe me that favor.
Harvey: What kind of math are YOU doing?
Robert: The kind of math that says Jessica Pearson hiring Louis Litt back adds up to shady.
Harvey: If that's all you got, you can collect your favor when the clock strikes kiss my ass, because partners leave firms and come back all the time.
Robert: Maybe, but they don't come back with their name on the wall.
[Harvey is surprised Zane knows this]
Robert: Ah, I'm guessing he wasn't supposed to tell me that, but he did, and Louis Litt... is not name partner material, which means he must have something on you; so, unless you want me going around town flapping my big mouth that something isn't right in your kitchen, you're gonna make good on that favor.

Mike: Louis, can I be honest with you?
Louis: Yeah, I can keep it real.
Mike: As far as poisoning the well goes, Harvey didn't really have anything to do with it. That's pretty much all been you.
Louis: What are you talking about?
Mike: Among other things, you tried to sabotage my relationship with Jenny.
Louis: After you laughed at that video of me.
Mike: You stuck me in housing court.
Louis: 'Cause you stole a client from me.
Mike: You tried to blackmail me with a fake drug test.
Louis: Yeah, but it didn't work. You defeated me.
Mike: So?
Louis: So it's water under the bridge.
Mike: No, no no, not water under the bridge. Louis, you can't do that to people and expect them to forget about it and move on.
Louis: They should.
Mike: Would you?

Harvey: Pick a card in your mind. Any card.
Mike: What? Okay, what, now... now you're gonna tell me what the card is?
Harvey: I'm going to tell you what it isn't. It's not one of the fifty-two cards in the deck. Because you think you're smarter than me, it's a baseball card or football card -- or... it's the joker. I told you this before, I'm gonna tell you again: I don't play the odds, I play the man.
Mike: Well, let me tell you one thing.
Harvey: What?
Mike: Louis bugged your office. He heard our whole conversation about Tanner's lawsuit and then he ran and he told Hardman.

Donna: I have good news.
Harvey: James Dolan died and left me The Knicks?

You aren't gonna wanna hear this,
but I don't give a shit whether he kicks us out or not.
That's enough. You don't go to war with the guy
that owns your house.
End it, and end it today.
[♪♪♪]

Charles: You're wearing a goddamn wire?
Harvey: For someone whose favorite movie is Wall Street, that's got to be pretty embarrassing.
Charles: Son of a bitch.
Harvey: You may have gotten the better of me 12 years ago, Charles, but this time, you didn't. So remember what it feels like, because I know I will.
Charles: Harvey, this isn't over.
Harvey: Words spoken by every loser I've ever met.

Donna: Gretchen told me you weren't feeling well, so I dropped by to see how you're doing and tell you to cut the bullshit.
Harvey: I don't understand.
Donna: You've never taken a sick day in your life, and Mike just got arrested, so I want to know what the hell is going on.
Harvey: I can't be in the office right now.
Donna: Why not?
Harvey: Because I resigned.

Well, things change.
It looks like she's operating out of a new playbook.
If she is coming after us, we need to be prepared.
Why don't you drop what you're doing
and figure out what case she's got against us.
Consider it dropped.

Mike: Oh, and you don't give a damn about the client, right?
Harvey: It's not my job.
Mike: Does your job include giving a damn about me, because the least you could do is offer to stand up to Louis for me.
Harvey: Stand up for you? I put my ass on the line for you. But it turns out you may have had the balls to get this job, but you don't have the courage to stick it out when it gets tough.

Edward: Harvey, I'm just in the middle of a little afternoon crossword. Are you a puzzler?
Harvey: Don't you have work to do?
Edward: My dear fellow, if I have to do work, then I'm not doing my job.

No, Samantha, this is just a chance to rip open an old scar,
and I'm not doing it.
Well, she just ripped me open,
and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to return the favor.
You don't want to help me, don't,
but you sure as hell better stop helping her.

Harvey: Donna is one thing that I can't give you.

Harvey: To the firm of Pearson Kiss My Ass.

Harvey: Let's talk about you.
Donna: Ooh, my favorite subject.
Harvey: You know what I think?
Donna: Mm.
Harvey: I think your favorite subject didn't come up to me just to find out why I went to trial. You want something.
Donna: I sure do.
Harvey: And I think I might be ready to give it to you.
Donna: It's not sex.
Harvey: Then never mind.

Harvey: [shown an autographed basketball] You didn't forge this?
Donna: I am a lot of things, but I am not a monster. I would do that to neither Michael nor you.
Harvey: Oh, so he's Michael now?
Donna: Well, I'm Donna to him, he's Michael to me, which is what I told His Airness when he called.
Harvey: Wait a second. You're not kidding. He signed with me?
Donna: Well, technically, he signed with me.

Jeff: You look good.
Jessica: This isn't a social call.
Jeff: All right, I take it back.

Louis: I'm presenting my partnership buy-in check to you in your current capacity of managing partner.
Jessica: Current?
Louis: Oh, is that your cryptic way of asking about my vote? You kept me waiting five years. You can wait another 24 hours.

Jessica: He just sent out an email nominating you for Junior Partner. And you're gonna figure out a way to turn it down.
Mike: What?
Jessica: Go ahead, take a minute. Congratulations. You've earned it. You are the best associate I have ever seen. Now, these are your options. "Medical issues." "Family emergency." "You're just not ready." Whatever it is, you simply cannot accept a junior partnership at this time.
Mike: Jessica, no one turns down partner.
Jessica: Well, they do now. Because I'm not sending out a press release announcing Mike Ross of Harvard just got promoted.
Mike: Then don't send one out.
Jessica: No, you're not hearing me.
Mike: No, you're not hearing me. What do you think is gonna happen when word gets out that I was offered the one thing that every associate dreams of, and I turned it down?
Jessica: Nothing's going to happen. Because you're going to put your mind to finding a good reason with as much enthusiasm as you did bullshitting your way into this job in the first place.

Daniel: Let me get this straight. Instead of promoting an existing partner, you want me to make both of you junior partners.
Louis: Well, not make us. We've earned it.
Daniel: Earned partnership status? That's a pretty bold statement coming from two fifth-years.
Harvey: Not just any fifth-years. We're the best fifth-years this firm has ever seen, and you know it.
Daniel: May I inquire whose idea this was?
Louis: [simultaneously with Harvey] It was both of ours.
Harvey: [simultaneously with Louis] I was Louis's.
Daniel: [to Harvey] That's generous of you to give him credit.
Harvey: It was generous of him to come to me with the idea.
Daniel: The truth is, I wasn't gonna make anyone partner, but I do admire your gumption; so, here's what I'm willing to do. I will advance one of you if you prove to me which one it should be.

Robert: I talked to Cameron Dennis. The guy's friends put him at a different location, and...
Samantha: Don't you fucking say it.

Donna: Rachel, I got upset because I didn't want to think about what I do if I have to choose between my dad and Harvey. Because this whole situation sucks. And we may have to make hard choices, and I want you to know that no matter what you do, you're my friend. And I will always love you.
Rachel: I will always love you, too.

Louis: I need the 411 on the breakup.
Donna: Are we in high school?
Louis: Life is high school, and I need to know if the prom king and his boy wonder are still an item.
Donna: What high school did you go to?
Louis: Donna, it's a simple question. Did Mike and Harvey break up break up, or did they take a time-out and, like, say to each other, "Hey, let's see other people and make sure that we're sure?"

Louis: I'm not signing it.
Jessica: Louis, here's the thing. I told you not to tell anybody about this, and then you went and you shouted it to Robert Zane, and then you made me tell the partners, and the capper is there are about a hundred people waiting to greet you after the unveiling you arranged, which won't happen if you don't sign that.
Louis: I can still go to the police.
Jessica: Yeah, you could, but you won't, 'cause you used that little secret to get where you are right now. It was the only bullet in your chamber, and I am taking your gun away.

Louis: You seem upset that she led you to believe that she was trying to befriend you when it turned out she was gonna betray you.
Harvey: Louis...
Louis: You got a problem with that?
Mike: No. No problem.
Katrina: Not as long as your daddy's here.
Harvey: Do I have to have another talk with you?
Louis: He had a talk with you?
Katrina: Yes, but I didn't feel the need to run to you to protect me.
Mike: Second choice never does.
Harvey: I can't believe it's up to me to be the adult in the room. Maybe it's time we get down to business.

Katrina: Louis, why are you here so early?
Louis: I am taking this Forstman document and I am burying it deep in the bowels of these files, and then I am putting these files deep in the bowels of our storage.
Katrina: Louis, please stop saying bowels.
Louis: Katrina, I don't have time to give a shit about bowels, 'cause after this, we are starting fresh.

Louis: Look at me, Donna Victoria Paulsen. You have never been more beautiful and talented and perfect than you are at this very moment. Your time is now, and you're gonna kill it.
Donna: Thank you, Louis.
Louis: No. Thank you.
Donna: My middle name is Roberta.
Louis: I'm so sorry for that.

Mike: Rachel, I'm sorry, but I can't talk right now. I'm typing up Cameron's files from memory.
Rachel: Mike, I am going to lose my first case...
Mike: Uh-huh.
Rachel: A mock case...
Mike: Okay.
Rachel: About a cat.
Mike: Okay, that I have a couple minutes for.

Donna: I mean you're in a Kobayashi Maru.
Alex: What the hell does sushi have to do with this?
Donna: It's not sushi, it's from "Star Trek," and Harvey's been talking about it for a hundred years. I always thought it was bullshit, but maybe it's not.
Alex: What do you mean?
Donna: I mean, sooner or later, everyone finds themselves walled into a no-win situation. This one's yours, and the way to prove yourself to both Harvey and Zane is to find a way out anyway.
Alex: Well, thanks, Donna. And here I thought going to Harvard was the way to get ahead, when really, I should have just been watching old "Star Trek"s. Well, I didn't, so unless the answer is in an episode of "Cagney and Lacey"...

Louis: You told me you would fight to get our names on the wall once you got on the other side. I can do the same for you.
Harvey: Did you hear what I just said? I don't want you doing shit for me.
Louis: Oh, so it would be okay if you were the one who got there first?
Harvey: It would have been okay if you got there first fair and square, because then I would have believed you when you said you wanted to be a team.
Louis: I do want to be a team, Harvey. That's why I helped you after.
Harvey: No, you don't! You don't want to be a team. You just want to have it both ways, because you're a disloyal rat. You always have been, and you always will, no matter what it says on your door.
Louis: Well, like you said, we've been pitted against each other since day one! You asked me how many of the fifty associates we started with would make partner. Well, you know what? I don't give a shit about the other forty-nine, because I'm the one who did. *I'm* the one who did.

Sheila: I got my period. I'm not pregnant.

Louis: [as Mike nervously readies to enter a mud bath] You know, if you go in with boxers, you're not gonna have them later. You're gonna have to go smokeless.

Donna: And since when have you ever done what Jessica wanted if it wasn't what you wanted too?

Harvey: When a dog smells a bone, he digs. Doesn't mean you have to tell him what kind of bone he's digging for.

Harvey: What's this?
Mike: Oh, it's only the greatest gift you've ever received.
Harvey: Better than MJ's jersey from the 63-point game?
Mike: If this folder had played in that game, it would have scored 80 points.
Harvey: Okay, I don't even know what that means.

Mike: You're trying to humanize Harvey because you're afraid of what this fight is gonna do to us.
Donna: I'm afraid because of what it's already doing to you. I'm talking Ali-Frazier.
Mike: Come on, Donna.
Donna: Listen to me. They started out like brothers, then they went toe-to-toe three times, and Joe Frazier went to his grave hating Muhammad Ali.
Mike: I didn't know you were a boxing fan.
Donna: I'm a Harvey fan.
Mike: So am I, and that's why I'm giving him my best.

Mike: So does this make us partners?
Harvey: Don't move your things into Wayne Manor just yet...
Mike: So now you're Batman?

Mike: It's not a little loan. I've got one of the most powerful players in the world behind me.
Harvey: Which is exactly where he needs to be to stab you in the back.

Louis: Thank you, Donna, for putting your anger on hold long enough to help me salvage the single most important non-feline relationship of my life.

Louis: Yeah, it's hard to forget a grade that never happened.

I get to call it in for whatever I want,
because you came to me and made me drop Delta,
and then I went against Robert
when you wanted back on the case he took from you.
So we are dropping Gavin Andrews whether you like it or not.
[♪♪♪]

Zoe: Look, Harvey, when you're a defendant, you need the jury to protect you. There's no way they're ever gonna protect you if they don't care about you.

Louis: Well, that's a great idea, Alex, but where the hell are we gonna find someone to give 25 partners raises and promotions at some other major law firm?
Alex: I'll tell them where we're gonna find them, Louis. Where I left them. Right inside your motherfucking Dictaphone.

Frank: Wow. If it isn't Mike Ross. I take it you're not here selling Girl Scout cookies, but if you are, I'll take two boxes of go fuck yourself.

Louis: He doesn't stop lyiin to me, I'm gonna cut him looser than Jared's pants after a Subway diet.

Louis: For one canst choke on the joy of life without thy mouth full.

Harvey: My merger /holds one hand up high/, your panic attack /holds other hand lower/.
Mike: Your compassion /holds his hand even lower/.

Katrina: Louis, guess who stopped by yesterday for an impromptu meeting with Jessica and Harvey.
Louis: Please tell me it was Dick Cheney.
Katrina: Why would you want it to be Dick Cheney?
Louis: Why wouldn't I want it to be Iron Dick? Holy shit, I think I know who you were talking about.
Katrina: I think you do, too.
Louis: Is it a certain S.E.C. beast whose name happens to rhyme with schmeff schmalone?
Katrina: Schmess it is, and schmess it does.
Louis: Well, schmuck me.

{\an1}Anything you want to know,
- \h\h\h\h\h\hI'm right here.
{\an1}\h\hWhat if I said I wanted to get together tonight after all?
{\an1}Well, then I'd say that maybe
- \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hit's time
{\an1}for you to come over
- \h\h\h\hto my place.
{\an1}Give me an hour.
{\an1}\h\hOh, and, Thomas, take your vitamins.

Harvey: Donna, tell Paul Porter he's meeting me for lunch. When he gets there, tell them to seat him with Jeff Malone.
Donna: Who's he not having lunch with?
Harvey: Jessica.
Donna: Oh, done.
Harvey: Aren't you gonna ask me why?
Donna: She asked you to go because she didn't want to. You're sending Porter because you don't want to, but you didn't have the balls to say no to her face. Is that it?
Harvey: The balls are debatable.
Donna: Balls are never debatable.

Harvey: She's swinging for the fences, I'll give her that. You know what? I'm going to swing for the fences too. Mike's going to court.
Mike: I am?
Jessica: What's the case?
Mike: Uh, Emancipation.
Jessica: From him?
[indicating Harvey]
Mike: I wish.
Harvey: He doesn't need a court order for that.

Mike: All right, well, let me tell you something. This isn't elementary school. This is high pressure, long hours. I need a grown goddamn man.
Harvey: Well, I see you've got a Barbri legal handbook there.
Mike: - Oh, this old thing?
Harvey: - Go ahead. Open it. Any page. Ask me anything.
Mike: You really want to keep going with this?
Harvey: - No. I won't know a thing.
Mike: - Well, did you at least bring - a briefcase full of weed?
Harvey: - No, but I know a guy.
Mike: - Coffee cart.
Harvey: - You got it.
Mike: - You're hired.

Thomas: 'Cause this isn't Sunday afternoon bridge with your grandma.
Mike: I don't see how THAT'S an insult to a person.

Louis: Look at this. It's her entire estate laid out on paper. She couldn't manage my calendar, but this crap fest she plans within an inch of her life.
Donna: And you want me to make sure these things are bequeathed properly?
Louis: You can stuff them in a giant piñata for all I care. I have to go find the perfect urn to throw her ashes off the top of the building.
Donna: She requested that?
Louis: She wanted them to be in here with me, but like hell I'm gonna do that!

Rachel: Mike, we're going to have children someday.

Donna: Since you're from a different country, I'll translate: "She finds you a bit douchey, Love."

Donna: What were you thinking, pulling all that shit with her dad?
Mike: I didn't think it would come to that. He didn't mind. Why should she?
Donna: Anyone who understands women in any way would know that was a bad idea from the start.
Mike: Well, Harvey liked it.
Donna: Proving my point.

Harvey: You really wanna come after me again?
Travis: I'm not moving down here for the sushi.
Harvey: 0-2 doesn't look good on a resume.
Travis: You know, I'm thinking upper East side.
Harvey: Well why don't you check out the corner of 81st and Kiss My Ass?

Louis: I need to talk to you.
Jessica: Let me guess. You got into a pissing contest with Harvey, he told you he's been covering Donna's salary, you, out of pride, said that you were going to take it on, and now you're here to find out how much you're on the hook for.
Louis: Nothing like that
Jessica: Oh, good. Then what is it?
Louis: Everything you just said.

Harvey: [takes a drag from a joint] Is this the coffee cart guy?

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, Harvey.
I already have.
Now, why don't you let that rattle around
for a little while, and then come back
when you're ready to tell me that I'm right.
[♪♪♪]

Louis: Where you going?
Mike: I, uh... just have to go back to the bathroom.
Louis: You just went.
Mike: Are you keeping track?
Louis: I may start.

Louis: I mean, I had the girl. I had the confidence. But then when I went to meet her... He was there.
Dr. Lipschitz: He?
Louis: Xander Fuck Face.

to pick my cases, I would pick hers.
In that case,
why don't you tell me what our first move is?
Easy.
Tomorrow morning, we slap them with this.
[♪♪♪]

Louis: [spying on Jeff] It's just so weird to see him in my old office, you know? It's like when you drive by the house you grew up in, and there's another family in there, and all you want to do is break in and make yourself soup. You know that feeling?
Donna: Well, it depends on the soup.
Louis: [scoffs] Mushroom barley.
Donna: Then no.

Donna: Norma's still out, isn't she?
Louis: Goddamn sister tripped and fell in the tub, and she went to help. It's like she doesn't care about me at all.

Then we can play Managing Partner/Secretary.
In that case you'd better be ready to take
a whole lot of dictation.
Oh, I will. Now go.
And return to me a king. Madam.
[♪♪]

Harvey: Sorry about the Keebler thing.
Gretchen: You didn't say it. Besides, it doesn't take Albert Einstein to figure out why you hired somebody that look like me to replace somebody that look like her.
Harvey: Listen, Gretchen, I...
Gretchen: You don't have to worry about that with me. I prefer my men manly.
Harvey: Am I not manly?
Gretchen: Well, if you have to ask...

Donna: Please tell me you're calling me because you've been kidnapped.
Harvey: I'm not the one who disappeared.
Donna: I told you I had a thing.
Harvey: At 1:00. It's 1:45.
Donna: And it's called a lunch "hour," Harvey, sixty whole minutes - which my teeth deserve.
Harvey: You fit the dentist in at lunch?
Donna: He can be surprisingly quick yet remarkably thorough.

Harvey: [looking at his collection] He didn't touch my balls.

Louis: It's nine thirty and now he's showing up two hours after we open for business, and I see that you're also trying to look like a pimp.
Harvey: My bad Louis, I was out late last night and when I woke up this is the suit your wife picked out for me.
Louis: And that would be funny, if i'd actually been married.
Harvey: You're not married?

into giving you information.
I'm not gonna let you do the same to me.
This is not about tricking you.
This is about me staying out of prison.
What?
Please.

Harvey: That's the difference between you and me: you wanna lose small, I wanna win big.

Harvey: Someday the shoe's gonna be on the other foot, Charles.
Charles: Words spoken by every loser I've ever met.

Harvey: This isn't a jury. It's a fucking ethics board. And I did exactly what he said I did.
Louis: Harvey...
Harvey: Motherfucker!

Harvey: I don't pave the way for people, people pave the way for me.

Trevor: Dude, look at me. You can burn bud and still be a success.
Mike: You sell pot for a living.
Trevor: Still saps the motivation. All I'm saying is, you want in, you are in.
Mike: You know, that is word for word your offer before I got caught cheating on your math test in the 3rd grade.

Mike: We're moving in together. I think it's time we stopped keeping it a secret.
Rachel: But keeping it a secret is sort of... fun.
Mike: Mm.
Rachel: And sexy.
Mike: And I am pro sexy. I mean, I did make those bubble-wrap slippers and hat after all, which is funny, 'cause... That's not sexy, it's just fun.
Rachel: It's something.
Mike: Something.
Rachel: Something.
Mike: I made you some too.

when I was ready to admit that you were right.
Takes a big man to admit that, Harvey.
My office. What about it?
I want it back. Your fearless leader
is happy to comply.
[♪♪]

Harvey: What the hell are you doing with Frank Gallo?
Mike: Harvey...
Harvey: Don't pretend like you don't know. He just left me a message asking me to make sure that you don't fuck him over.

Harvey: So if you wanna quit, go ahead. But this isn't because of Louis, and it isn't because of me. It's because you're afraid you might have to admit you're not as smart as you think you are.

Jessica: Jack, I don't give a shit if my enemies think I'm innocent or not. I give a shit whether they think they can take me down, which is why I'm not going to cower in some pro bono corner, trying to convince them that I'm friendly. I'm going to kick some ass, and remind them that I'm fierce.

Louis: You just got Litt up.

Harvey: I'm saying you put me first for years and if I can't recognize the truth in that than what are we doing?

Louis: Yeah, you wanna play it this way, fine, but if you think you can outsmart me, you're gonna get Litt up.
Katrina: Litt the hell up.
Dana: Litt up? Litt. Oh.
[laughs]
Dana: Oh, my God, that's so cute. I'm gonna go make fun of it on my Facebook page right now. Thank you.

Mike: Yeah, baby! Butch and Sundance are back.
Harvey: Ooh, no go.
Mike: What do... what do... what do you mean, "no go?"
Harvey: I mean, you're not Butch or Sundance.
Mike: Why not?
Harvey: 'Cause Butch was the leader, and Sundance was the gunslinger, and I'm both.
Mike: Okay, but Sundance couldn't swim, and Butch never shot anyone, so that makes you a loser.
Harvey: Better than a fraud.
Mike: I think it's time for some new material.
Harvey: You write Midnight Train to Georgia, you don't just sing it once. And speaking of Butch Cassidy, let's go start a knife fight.

if I did, I can tell you what they'd say.
"Go to hell." Scottie--
Thank you for the warning, Harvey,
but I'm doing just fine.
Okay, have it your way, but don't come crying to me
when she figures out how to turn the tables.

Harvey: [to Mike] What the fuck do you think you're doing?

Dr. Lipschitz: Louis makes space for the people in his life whom he loves.
Harvey: He makes space for people like Sheila and a baby, but...
Dr. Lipschitz: But what?
Harvey: But once he has that baby, he might not make space for me.
Dr. Lipschitz: Where would you get a notion like that, that Louis wouldn't have time for you?
Harvey: Because they leave. Everyone leaves: Mike, Rachel, Jessica, my sister-in-law. Everyone.

Harvey: Hey, Louis, how the hell did you get him to go for it?
Louis: We found common ground.
Harvey: One more thing. Charles Forstman got Litt the hell up.

Harvey: Life is this like this

Mike: Hey, am I Spock or Kirk?
Harvey: Uhura.
Mike: Walked right into it.

Louis: See, the highest academic honor at Harvard Law is the Order of the Coif. You don't get a trophy. You get three things. You get a parchment to hang on your wall, a medal to wear at graduation, and this. Now, this key doesn't say "Order of the Coif." It doesn't say anything. It's just a symbol.
Donna: What does that have to do with Harvey?
Louis: It doesn't. It has to do with Mike.
Donna: You know what, Louis? It's been a long day...
Louis: It's about to get longer. See, Mike asked me about this, and I thought he was... I thought he was trying to get my mind off of my problems, but then, he did it again, and it got me to thinking: Mike graduated magna cum laude, he's in Order of the Coif, but he didn't recognize this.
Donna: So, he forgot a stupid key.
Louis: Mike Ross doesn't forget anything. You see, the reason he didn't recognize this was because he never got one -- because he didn't go to Harvard.
Donna: Louis, we've been down this road before. Mike is in the Harvard database.
Louis: But he's not in the yearbook; and, according to his credit report, his address during his law school years was in New York. He even paid rent the first of the month in person.
Donna: Well, I'm sure there's a...
Louis: SIT DOWN! Last year, you told me not to tell Sheila about Mike's file. You acted like you cared about me. You didn't give a shit about me. You cared about YOU!... and Harvey!...
Donna: No!
Louis: ...and Mike!...
Donna: No!
Louis: ...and Jessica!
Donna: Louis, that's not true!
Louis: Well, let's call Sheila right now. I know all of the numbers by heart. I mean, she may not be interested in me anymore, but she will definitely be interested in a fraud claiming that he went to Harvard.

Dana: Tanner, what are you doin' here?
Travis: Oh, I just came to bring you a coffee in the morning.
Dana: And meeting with you, I'd say there's an 80% chance there's a roofie in there.

Harvey: So, you going to come out and say it?
Donna: Say what?
Harvey: All those observations. You're into me.
Donna: I'm not into you. I'm Donna.
Harvey: What's that supposed to mean?
Donna: It means I could do the same thing with Bertha that I did with you.
Donna: All that means is that you're into Bertha, too.
Donna: Hm. What if I am?
Harvey: We can have a threesome.
Donna: Trust me. If you were ever lucky enough to have me, you wouldn't want to share.

Harvey: You're on Katrina duty for the next two days.
Mike: What? I'd rather be on latrine duty.
Harvey: It's not an option.
Mike: Okay, then I'm going AWOL.
Harvey: Well, let me connect the dots for you, Forrest Gump. Even though Jessica gave in on the strategy, Louis made it clear he's willing to sacrifice Ava.
Mike: And you don't trust him to play by the rules.
Harvey: Which is why you're gonna work side by side with her to figure a way out of this jam.
Mike: And at the same time make sure she and Louis don't shaft us.
Harvey: Not bad, Forrest.
Mike: Okay, if I'm Forrest, then you're Bubba.

Harvey: There can be only one.
Jessica: We're at a funeral and you're quoting Highlander?

Louis: Season pass, Lincoln Center, front row. Every show.
Donna: Really?
Louis: Yeah!
Donna: Do I have to go with you?
Louis: Hell no!
Donna: Thank you, Louis.
Louis: You are welcome. God, could this day get any better?

Harvey: [to Mike] No, get to work and use that magnificent brain of yours for something more than bullshitting your way through life!

I can get to you anytime.
No. No.

I'm your goddamn lawyer.
You're either gonna take my advice,
or you can hire someone else.
Call yourself a car, get the hell out.
I'll handle it myself.
[♪♪♪]

Omar: Who touched my alien?

Mike: Hey, he said I can't have sex while I'm working with him. Is that really his call?
Harvey: Well, he is your commanding officer.

[Jessica hands over a check]
Harvey: [reads it] That's $1/2 million.
Jessica: Mm-hm. First dividend check of the merger.
Harvey: That was my buy-in amount.
Jessica: Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Harvey: Wait a second. What was your check for?
Jessica: More than that.
Harvey: 1.2?
Jessica: I'm not telling.
Harvey: 1.5? You're three times more valuable than me?
Jessica: Oh, I don't think that. The check thinks that.

Louis: This isn't over, because whatever Harvey did, he doesn't know contracts like I do.
Stu: And you don't know them like I know them, because this new lease is tighter than your mom's ass.
Louis: That's it. I am suing you for slander, because my mom's ass is miles from tight.

Jessica: I don't know you that well, Ava, and I won't pretend that I do, but we do have something in common.
Ava: What is that?
Jessica: I merged with Edward Darby to save my firm from being hijacked by my piece of shit ex-partner.
Ava: And what exactly does that give us in common?
Jessica: I know what it's like to prefer rotting in the ground than letting my enemy take what's mine.
Ava: I said, "rotting in a cell."
Jessica: I wasn't up on murder charges.
Ava: And you'd rather have died?
Jessica: I was speaking metaphorically, as I'm sure you were.

That looks like a job for your associate.
If you're just here to talk me out of my bluff,
you don't have to worry. I'm not gonna do it.
Because you don't have to.

Mike: Mr. Hunt, harassment is a civil violation; the penalty is money. But witness tampering, that's a crime. And you will go to prison, where I guarantee you'll learn more about unwanted sexual advances than you can possibly imagine.

Eric: I don't even have jurisdiction over that department. That department's run by a man named Sean Cahill.
Harvey: So all on his own, Sean Cahill just happened to target my firm?
Eric: Well, he is a killer attorney with a nose for sleazy lawyers, and I should know. We came up together at the Justice Department. You know, that little governmental agency that protects their own?
Harvey: Well, Eric, your big brother couldn't protect you from getting fired before, and I don't see how this is gonna be any different -- and, by the way, that's yesterday's paper.

Harvey: How did you know that?
Mike: I learned it. When I studied. For the bar.

Jessica: [meeting Harvey on the roof] Daniel Hardman and I are taking Gordon, Schmidt, and Van Dyke down.
Harvey: THAT'S why we're up here.
Jessica: Did you think we were going to make out?
Harvey: A man can hope.

Harvey: I'm inclined to give you a shot, but what if I decide to go another way?
Mike: I'd say that's fair. Sometimes I like to hang out with people who aren't that bright, you know, just to see how the other half lives.

Mike: How is Louis? What did he wear? Did you get any?
Harvey: He shut me down.

Samantha: I think that is something I've waited a long time to see.
Alex: You have no idea. And what with you overcoming the difficulties of being white, you must've thought you'd never make it.
Samantha: And you having to deal with the struggles of being a man.
Alex: It's a triumph of the human spirit.

Mike: What I know is that, if you take this thing to trial, it's gonna cost us all a hell of a lot more than money; and, if you don't know that by now, after all this, then... I don't think I should be the one learning from you.

Samantha: [to Scottie] I think playing dirty isn't your specialty. You took a walk on the wild side, and turns out you fucked with the wrong Marine.

Donna: Success is the best revenge.
Louis: Bullshit. Revenge is the best revenge.

Harvey: Don't be cocky. It doesn't look good.
Mike: [clears throat]
Harvey: On you. I can pull it off.

Harvey: You want a drink?
Dana: They do it on Mad Men, right?

Because he is a blight.
He's a goddamn hero!
Okay, stop.
Everybody, give me and Faye a minute alone.
Harvey, what are you...
- It's okay, Louis.
I got it.

Donna: Harvey, I don't even know what exactly Louis did.
Harvey: He broke the law to close Forstman.
Donna: He broke it or Forstman made him break it?
Harvey: What's the goddamn difference?
Donna: Harvey...
Harvey: You don't have to say it, Donna, I've heard it a thousand times. Louis only did this to get my approval. And, you know what? I don't give a shit that I agreed to be his best man. He put you, me, and every one of us in jeopardy to get what he wanted.

Simon: Mr. Nesbitt has clearly instructed...
Louis: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This was Nigel's doing?
Simon: Per his most recent memo.
Louis: He's communicating with you through memos? You've been left adrift on lady law's fickle ocean with no rudder, no captain?
Simon: He hasn't been in the office since he took over the program, if that's what you're asking.
Louis: No, I think I was perfectly clear in what I was asking, Simon.
Simon: Am I supposed to respond to that?
Louis: Yeah, by going back to your desk right now and doing it correctly.
Simon: But...
Louis: Simon, a memo from Nigel is not gonna stick its boot in your ass. A memo from me will. Get out.

Louis: I know what's it like to let your insecurities get in the way of your work, believe me. But right now, we're gonna channel the shit out of our insecurities and go spank these nipple-stealing motherfuckers.

Jeff: Take all the time you need, but in the meantime, I'll be thinking about who else around here I can take.
Jessica: Really? Well, you're awfully sure of yourself.
Jeff: You think I haven't seen the way Norma looks at me? Calls me the Black Stallion.

Mike: Panda, right here. That's my favorite piece of art.
Rachel: That is not art.
Mike: Grammy gave that to me.
Rachel: Oh, I love it. Panda can come.
Mike: And the chair.
Rachel: Oh.
Mike: That was Grammy's favorite chair.
Rachel: I don't... I don't...
Mike: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm telling you, Rachel, she used to sit in that chair every Sunday and drink her hot cup of Hershey's cocoa and tell me all about growing up on the mean streets of Philadelphia.
Rachel: When you lie, try less details.
Mike: Got it.

Donna: You of all people should know that a person can overreact when they're hurt.
Louis: If you're referring to me, I do not overreact when...
Donna: Okay, whatever you say, Fatty-Baldy.
Louis: Okay, get the hell out of my office and... Fine, you have a small, legitimate point.

Donna: Because today's your lucky day.
Harvey: And why is that?
Donna: Because it's the day you get to meet Donna.
Harvey: Let me guess. You're Donna.
Donna: Oh, you have no idea how Donna I am.
Harvey: Well, Donna, I'm Harvey...
Donna: Harvey Specter. You really think I'd be talking to you if I didn't know who you were?
Harvey: And how exactly do you know about me?
Donna: I know about everybody. What I don't know is why this is the first case you ever took to trial.
Harvey: Because it was a white-collar crime, not some drug dealer on a corner, which makes it the kind of case...
Donna: ...That puts your name in the paper.
Harvey: You're not just a pretty face, are you?
Donna: No, I'm not.

I called to tell you that
I'm going to live up to my agreement.
From now on, I'll stay away from him.
I told you that's not what I meant.
I know, but I'm going to anyway.
And, Donna...I hope someday he sees what everyone sees.

Robert: It's messing with shit you don't have business messing with. It has unintended consequences.
Samantha: Robert, I've had about enough of your unintended consequences bullshit. So either tell me what you're talking about or shut the fuck up. Because Louis didn't get the wrong guy and neither did you and I, and don't you tell me we did.
Robert: Don't you see, it's not about the wrong man. It's about taking matters into your own hands and what happens when you do that.

Young: What did you get me?
Mike: What I said I was gonna get you. A 158.
Young: I told you I wanted a 175.
Mike: And I told you only 1 out of 100 people can score that. You're a B minus student, you got 1,000 on your SATs, if I get you a 175, they'll know you cheated.
Young: So only a genius loser can get a 175?
Mike: Actually, no. I would get a 180.

Robert: I didn't ask you when you'd get here, Louis. I asked you where you were.
Louis: That's, uh, kind of personal.
Robert: Well, I feel kind of bad about that, Louis, but I've been standing here with nothing but my dick in my hand for the last 30 minutes.
Louis: All right, well, if you wanna know, Sheila and I are trying to have a baby and she's not getting any younger, and we're just trying to take advantage of any opportunity we can.
Robert: Why didn't you say so? Just get here as fast as you can.

Harvey: Louis hires you, you don't run it by me, you don't even tell me it's happening. All I am to you anymore is a clean set of sheets.

Jessica: Recruiting. Harvey, your interviews are set up for tomorrow.
Harvey: What? Why don't we just hire the Harvard summer associate douche?
Jessica: I think if you listen to the phrasing of that question, you'll come up with an answer.
Harvey: We need people who think on their feet, not another clone with a rod up his ass.
Louis: Harvey, the fact that we only hire from Harvard gives us a cache that's a little more valuable than hiring a kid from Rutgers.
Jessica: [to Harvey] *You* went to Harvard Law.
Harvey: I'm an exception.

Stephanie: I called you when they brought your guy in. I could lose my job for that as it is.
Donna: You have something else a lot more important than your job, thanks to me.
Stephanie: When are you gonna stop holding that over my head?
Donna: In another thirty seconds if you tell me what I need to know.
Stephanie: Okay. He's got nothing, but the thing is, he wins with nothing.
Donna: You just said he hates dirty lawyers, and now you're saying he'll break the law?
Stephanie: He may, he may not, but he'll definitely bend the shit out of it.

[Harvey drops Gerard as a client]
Harvey: I thought he was better than us. I sat in that class and listened to him talk about what kind of lawyers we should be, and I always let him down because I knew that wasn't the kind of lawyer that wins... and I wanted to win; so, I argued with him, and he looked down on me.
Mike: And now, instead of you letting him down, he let you down.
Harvey: He turned out to be no better than any of us.

♪ I'll even eat a bean pie I don't mind ♪
♪ Me and Missy is so early Busy, busy makin' money ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ All step back I'm 'bout to dance ♪
♪ The greenback boogie ♪
BUKOWSKI: All right, bring them in.

Harvey: Louis, after everything we've been through tonight, how hard could it be for us to write down how much we're worth right now?
Louis: I need another fifteen minutes to myself.
Harvey: Again?
Jessica: Aw, Harvey, let him go. He probably doesn't have as much as we do, and it's a vulnerable thing for him.
Harvey: "Vulnerable"? He just told us he jerked off in the mud an hour ago. You don't think he's gonna do that right now, do you?
Jessica: Based on what he told us, he doesn't need fifteen minutes for that.

Harvey: You think this happens if you walk in here in a t-shirt and jeans?

Rachel: You know, Louis, if you treated people a tenth as nicely as you treat your cat, they might not feel about you the way they do.

Louis: This is my associate, Mike Ross. He was busy, uh, drafting some pertinent documents. Motion to dismiss, motion to compel, motion to strike, motion to change venue, and we have another half dozen in the pipeline.
Mike: No, they're here.
Louis: Oh.
Durham: What is this? This was supposed to be a settlement conference.
Louis: Oh, we're not here to settle. We're proceeding to trial.
Durham: You want to take this case to trial?
Louis: Um, unless I can't hear the sound of my own voice, I believe that's what I just frickin' said.
Durham: We're the little guy. Your parent company's a behemoth. A jury's gonna hate you.
Louis: Well, thanks to your disgusting smears in the media, that might be true, which is why we're also filing a countersuit for libel, slander, and anything else that might be appropriate in this case.
Mike: Tortious interference?
Durham: This is... You got... This is not good faith, Mr. Litt.
Louis: Sir, you have besmirched the good name of Liquid Water, and if you think that we're here for a settlement conference, well, let me just correct that one for you right now. We are not settling. We will not be settling. In fact, the only thing that's settling here is the sediment at the bottom of your putrid water. Get me? Now be sure to take that Grand Central shuttle like I told you, okay? I think you're gonna love it.

Harvey: The last time you saw me, you told me I wasn't fit to practice law in your ivory tower.
Henry: What I told you was, is that you'll sacrifice ethics for wins, and right now I'm not in my ivory tower, and I need a win.
Harvey: I knew it. You're just like everybody else. The ends don't justify the means until it's your ass on the line.

This isn't a jury.
- It's an ethics board.
And I did what he said I did.
Harvey.
- Motherfucker!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[♪♪♪]
I said, leave me alone.

Mike: Oh, I'm just trying to figure out at what point in the last week you decided to become a pussy.
Harvey: Oh, so, doing something nice for someone makes you a pussy.
Mike: I didn't say that exactly.
Harvey: Yes, you did. Let's go through some of the nice things you've done for people.
Mike: You know what, Harvey? Guilty as charged. I am nice, and if that makes me a pussy, then so be it.
Harvey: Then, it's settled. You're a nice pussy.

Harvey: You bribed that government. What's to stop anyone with a pulse from believing you knew that money was payment for killing those people?
Ava: Because life is more important to me than money.
Harvey: Then why the hell did you pay that bribe in the first place?
Ava: Because that's how it works over there.
Mike: Murder is also how it works over there.
Harvey: You did it, you know it, and you're not convincing anyone.
Ava: Very good. Finally we get to it. If you check your records, you'd know the reason we won that bid is we were the only company who took it upon ourselves to go to the people.
Harvey: Because you needed to see what your obstacle was.
Ava: My obstacle? We paid $100 million more than anyone else on the condition that the money be used to relocate any family who lost anything within fifty miles of that pipeline. Job, home, land, livestock -- anything. What happened over there sickens me. I lose sleep over it every night, and as soon as I am out of this nightmare, I am going to shut down the entire project - the pipeline, the oil fields, all of it. So, I've had just about enough of you two wondering whether I'm guilty of these murders or not. Is that a good enough trial run for you?

Those are fighting words, you know.
They're not fighting words, they're drinking words.
So sit on down, and let's hash this out
like two people who can both appreciate M.A.S.H.
Sounds good to me.
[♪♪♪]

Sheila: Okay, you know what's a scam? This letter, which I am now ripping up.
Louis: No! Sheila, please!
[papers ripping]
Louis: I labored over every word of that.
Sheila: The time for words is over. The time for deeds is now.
Louis: Well, then, give me a deed, I'll do it. Give me a mountain, I'll climb it. Give me a Katy Perry song, I'll sing it.

Jessica: What do you want me to say?
Louis: I WANT YOU TO TELL ME YOU'RE A LIAR... AND A HYPOCRITE! I want you to say you're sorry.
Jessica: I AM a liar, and I am a hypocrite, but I will not say I'm sorry, because I did what I did to protect this firm.
Louis: Well, looks like the captain's about to go down with her ship
Jessica: Bullshit. You want something.
Louis: Oh, I told you. I want to see you...
Jessica: ...In handcuffs? If that were true, the police would be here instead of you. No, you wanted to see me squirm before asking me for what you really want. I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction, so you might as well spit it out.
Louis: You asked me what I wanted once before, and I told you, and then you told me that I couldn't have it... but now I can -- Pearson... Specter... Litt.

Harvey: This is bullshit, Cameron. We had a deal.
Cameron: A deal where your client admitted to bribing a foreign official. That Colonel that she paid off? After that, six people were killed by his troops.
Harvey: I give my driver a tip, and then he runs over someone. Doesn't mean I had anything to do with it.

Mike: As much as I appreciate for once not having to eat my lunch from a hot dog stand, what are we doing here?
Louis: Can't a man just take out another man in the middle of the day for some steak and some wine and some cheesecake that's gonna knock your socks off?

Jessica: I happen to like King Lear. And unlike some people I know, Louis' references don't begin and end with Top Gun.
Harvey: Hey, I love Louis. And I don't care what you say, I am not leaving my wingman. You see, that's funny, because that's from Top Gun.
Jessica: "He's a wildcard, flies by the seat of his pants." You think I can't quote Top Gun? Get the hell out of here.

Alex: [to Harvey] This says the hearing's tomorrow. They're summoning you, me, Simon, Thomas, and Donna.
Louis: Which means we have less than 24 hours to get our story straight, convince Thomas to corroborate it, and get Donna the fuck out of town.

Louis: Please state your name.
Harvey: Harvey Specter.
Louis: Your full name.
Harvey: Harvey Reginald Specter.
Mike: [mouths] Reginald?
Harvey: [nods]

Charles: What do you want, Harvey?
Harvey: I want you to undo the dirty deal you made with Louis Litt.
Charles: Dirty deal. Doesn't sound like me at all.
Harvey: How does prison sound? Because the S. E. C. is gonna get a record of the shit you pulled tomorrow morning.
Charles: There is no record, 'cause I didn't do anything. Louis Litt came to me, and he's the one who embezzled money.
Harvey: And your grudge isn't with Louis. It's with me; so, let him go. Live to fight me another day.
Charles: If I let him off, I let you off, and I don't think I want to do that.
Harvey: Then you're forcing me to turn you in for what you did twelve years ago.
Charles: No way. You're not gonna do that, because you did it too, pal.
Harvey: But if you did it to Louis and you did it to me, you did it to a hundred others, and if you don't do what I'm asking, I'll just have to find the one in a hundred that's in a position to turn on you.

Eric: You know, they did an experiment a few years back. Took five mice, put 'em in a cage, fed 'em just enough to survive, and you know what happened? One by one, they cornered the weakest mouse and ate him alive. You know what you're gonna be when you get to prison, Mike? The weakest mouse.
Mike: Bullshit. They have done studies, and I've read them, and that's not what happens. The only way a mouse eats one of his own is if he's been contaminated by another species.
Eric: Yeah, you're right. It's bullshit, but you know who believed it when I told it to him, five minutes ago? Harold.

Mike: Harvey, they are lining their pockets on the backs of people who should have gone free years ago, and you're letting them get away with it!
Harvey: I'm their lawyer, I'm not a prosecutor.
Mike: What the fuck does Alex Williams have on you, huh?
Harvey: Nobody has anything on me.
Mike: Then why the hell you doing this? 'Cause there's no way it's for the money.

Harvey: You're gonna have to rethink your choice to go after Stu Buzzini.
Nick: You're no fucking consultant.
Harvey: You're right, and if you pursue this, Stu's not gonna be the one in trouble, you are.

Mike: I see where she gets it from.
Rachel: Gets what?
Robert: You better shut up and eat your potatoes.

Henry: So you admitted to yourself that I didn't do this?
Harvey: I've admitted to myself that you came to me because this case needs rule-bending, and you're gonna tell me why right now.
Henry: The money.
Harvey: Yes, the money. If you weren't bribed, where the hell did you get that $25,000 from?
Henry: You know where it came from. It's the same thing you tried to use to blackmail me last year.
Harvey: Let me get this straight. You have an explanation for the money that would get you out of this whole thing.
Henry: But I can't use it.
[Harvey gets up immediately and walks away]
Henry: Where are you going?
Harvey: To get you out of this. Welcome to the real world, Professor.

Carl: Oh, you're not room service.
Mike: No, I'm not, but I do need to talk to Colonel Mariga.
Carl: And I need to stop paying alimony to my cheating ex-wife, but that's not going to happen.
Mike: If you let me in, maybe I can make that happen.
Carl: And how the hell are you gonna make that happen?
Mike: I'm a lawyer.
Carl: You don't look like a lawyer to me.
Mike: Okay, all right. You got me. Look, I'm not... I'm not a lawyer. In fact, between you and me, I'm a complete fraud.

I need to know if you think it'll work.
What's going on? Harvey's
to drop their division, not ours.
Zane's doing the same.
you're on team Harvey.
Exactly. What's your plan?

Mike: Sorry.
Rachel: Me too.
Mike: You were just trying to help me.
Rachel: Yeah, but I shouldn't have said something I knew would hurt you just to end an argument.
Mike: I don't want to keep secrets from you.
Rachel: You don't have to.
Mike: So Louis asked me.
Rachel: And what did you say?
Mike: I told him I needed some time to think about it, and then I came straight here.
Rachel: So you're really just apologizing because you need my advice.
Mike: Well, I also want sex.
Rachel: You can have one or the other.
Mike: I really don't need any advice.

Louis: No sex of any kind. Weakens legs, clouds your judgment. Got it?
Mike: I'm not sure I do.
Louis: Good.
Mike: Okay.
Louis: No sex.
Mike: Okay.
Louis: No sex!
Mike: Got it!

Jessica: [Jessica has just given Mike his own office] You didn't just come through on the merger. You bluffed Hardman, turned Monica Eton, and put us over the top on Folsom Foods. Now that's a lot of coming through in the clutch and I wouldn't have saved your ass if I didn't think you deserved to be here.
Mike: I don't know what to say.
Jessica: Well, the usual response is "thank you."
Mike: The usual road to getting here doesn't involve stabbing someone in the back.
Jessica: Doesn't it?
[Mike is silent]
Jessica: When I was 16, I came home, my mother sat me down, and said my parents were separating - "trial basis" - but the good news was she was going to get me a car to help with my sister. All my friends talked about how lucky I was to have it. I hated that car. Every time I got in it, I... it just reminded me.
Mike: Why are you telling me this?
Jessica: Because five years later, that same car got me to Harvard, which led me here; so, you can think of this office as a reminder of what you did to Harvey or as a symbol of what you can accomplish at the firm.

Stu: What kind of dildo puts bran bars and prune juice in a lease agreement?
Louis: This dildo. This dildo right here.
Stu: Are you nuts?
Louis: No. I'm your worst nightmare, because this quivering angry dildo isn't going away until it gets its satisfaction.
Stu: What did you just say to me?
Louis: I just said, this dildo is gonna be in your face slapping it around, then up your ass marching you right out the door if it catches you in violation of your lease ever again.

Donna: No, nothing's wrong, and I know it's not my place, but I'm here to tell you that I think you're making a mistake.
Jessica: Is this about me not giving people off for Columbus Day?
Donna: You know this isn't about that. Harvey laid it on the line with Daniel, and you didn't have his back.
Jessica: Donna, I've had Harvey's back since the day I met him. For your information, when I found out what Daniel was up to, I had him guarantee partnership was on the table.
Donna: And then you let him give it to the wrong man.
Jessica: That is on Harvey, not on me.
Donna: What are you talking about?
Jessica: Daniel was worried that Harvey couldn't put the firm's best interests ahead of his own, and Harvey proved him right.
Donna: Or maybe you're just telling yourself that because you don't want to stand up to Daniel Hardman.
Jessica: Donna, there's a reason why you are where you are and I am where I am, and that is because one of us sees the bigger picture.
Donna: You knew about Fletcher Engines?
Jessica: What I know is that Harvey's time will come, and if this little incident gets him to think about other people for a change, then I'll take it.

Mike: I heard about what you did with, uh... Katrina.
Harvey: I know I asked you not to, and I wasn't going to, but... I saw her, and I couldn't help it.
Mike: I get it. She brings that out in people - but, listen, just don't let it happen again.

Rachel: Here's your goddamn birthday card. I don't appreciate you coming into my office saying that no one at the firm has what they're supposed to have, and I don't know what crawled up your ass today, but I take care of my business.
Donna: I'm sorry, Rache. You're right. This isn't about you. This is about me.

Harvey: As I see it, we have two options, the first of which involves going to Robert.
Louis: Pass.
Harvey: Look, he's the only one of us that actually gets along with Hardman. It's the only chance we have of getting him to be reasonable.
Louis: And you and I both know that there isn't a frozen dick's chance in hell that that rat is gonna be reasonable.
Harvey: Then tomorrow morning, you and I need to go in there with an offer so good, Simon has no choice but to take it and Daniel's left with nothing but a frozen dick in his hand.

Louis: [to Harvey] It's not fair, you know. I'm emotional, you're cold. You're loved and I'm hated.

Harvey: You know, I was just thinking. I told Jim that this case was Rocky IV, but it turned out to be Rocky III.
Robert: You mean the one where Apollo and Rocky come together to beat Mr. T?
Harvey: Well, I sure as hell wasn't talking about Rocky V.
Robert: Well, you know what happens at the end of Rocky III.
Harvey: Yeah, Rocky and Apollo go toe-to-toe. Let me guess, you're wondering what would happen if we went toe-to-toe.
Robert: I don't need to wonder. I know what'd happen. I'd win.
Harvey: Whatever gets you through the day.

Harvey: How can I take care of it if you don't tell me the goddamn truth?
Donna: Do you think that I didn't want to tell you the truth?
Harvey: Then why didn't you?
Donna: Because I was ashamed! I know that it sounds stupid, but you and Mike and everyone pull these rabbits out of your hats all the time, and I just sit outside, and I answer the phones, and then I got those documents, and people said I saved the day, and the next thing I knew, you were on my doorstep coming at me like I was some sort of criminal, and I panicked, and I lied.

Jonathan: What can I tell you? When you're the biggest bully in the yard, people give you their lunch money without you even asking for it.

Mike: [en route to Harvey's office] So, are we gonna talk about that little welcome speech that Jessica made for Louis?
Harvey: We don't have to talk about it because Louis isn't going to accept it.
Mike: Why not?
Harvey: Because it'll be a cold day in hell when he can accept being Maverick to my Iceman.
Mike: Don't... don't you mean Iceman to your Maverick?
Harvey: No, I don't.
Mike: You actually want to be Iceman over Maverick?
Harvey: Who got the trophy?
Mike: Who's the better pilot?
Harvey: The one who got the trophy.
Mike: Wrong, because in the end, Maverick saved Iceman. If he hadn't, Trophy Boy would be sitting on the bottom of the Indian Ocean right now.
Harvey: Where he'd still be the man.
Mike: According to you.
Harvey: According to me is the only according to that matters.
Mike: Here we go.
Henry: [overhearing and joining in the conversation] Maybe, but according to me, Viper was the real hero of that film.

Harvey: Jessica, it's one thing for me to show Louis respect, but you want to put me on the sidelines for him?
Jessica: No. I'm gonna put him in at quarterback, then snap the ball to you.

Jessica: On this particular case, all I give a shit about is keeping you in check. Which means, for the duration of this matter, you will be treating Mike Ross like a partner.
Robert: Oh, you gotta be kidding me. That boy barely shaves.
Jessica: I don't care if he's still in diapers. He's representing my firm, which means he's representing me. You look at him, you see me.
Robert: You're asking for a hell of a lot.
Jessica: Then take your wingtips off my table and walk 'em out the door, because this is my case and you either do it my way or you don't do it at all.
Robert: ...I loooove you.

Cameron: Harvey, what a coincidence.
Harvey: Cameron. You grew the mustache back. I'll let you in on a little secret: it wasn't a success the first time.

Jessica: This is my call.
Harvey: I'm afraid it isn't.
Jessica: Excuse me?
Harvey: You and I both know who assigned me to this case, and it wasn't you. It was the man you chose to merge with, the same man who has a 51% share of our law firm; so, unless you're gonna undo THAT, you're gonna live with THIS.

Harvey: [Harvey finds Mike waiting in his office] Look what the cat dragged in -- and you're wearing a vest.
Mike: Here it comes.
Harvey: Here what comes? Mazel tov. Congratulations on your special day.
Mike: That's a good one.
Donna: Harvey, leave him alone. He looks better than you do.
Mike: Thank you, Donna.
Donna: You're welcome. Oh, and Mr. Peanut called, and he said he'd be happy to lend you his top hat.
Mike: Are you two finished?

Louis: Nigel went after Mikado.
Harvey: What the hell is Mikado?
Louis: Not "what," "who." She's a cat.
Harvey: He went after your cat?
Louis: He went after his cat.
Harvey: He tortured his cat?
Louis: He deprived her of my letters.
Harvey: Louis, you lost your shit during a negotiation because someone didn't read your letters to their cat?

Robert: A man gets told he only has so much time left on this earth, you would think that would put things in perspective.
Harvey: You would. But I guess he'd have to be human.
Robert: And as it turns out, he was more like the Terminator. Just won't go down.
Harvey: "Come with me if you want to live."
Robert: "I'll be back."
Harvey: "Hasta la vista, baby."
Robert: "If it bleeds, we can kill it."
Harvey: First, that's "Predator". Second, you sound Jamaican. Not German.

Rachel: Louis, is this really the kind of name partner you want to be?
Louis: No, I want to be the kind of name partner that has his name said on the goddamn phone.
Rachel: Okay, well, in order to fire her without getting sued for harassment, you'd have to fire the entire support staff, and you and I both know that's never going to happen.
[scene moves to Jessica's office]
Jessica: We are not firing all of our support staff.
Louis: Well, it's easy for you to say, being that your name is first.
Jessica: What are you talking...
Louis: Jessica, I am talking about respect. R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me.

First round's on me.
I owe you all at least that much.
Come on.
- Let's go.
Gretchen?
Tell them to go on without me.
There's something
- I need to take care of.

{\an1}My name is Harvey Specter.
{\an1}Ask around. You'll find people
- \h\h\h\hwho go up against me,
{\an1}they never win.
{\an1}So I'd think long and hard about what you're gonna do.
{\an1}[tense music]
{\an1}♪ ♪

Louis: You want a pound of flesh? I'm gonna bring you the whole carcass.

I'm not doing it.
Maybe you will, maybe you won't.
You'd better think about how you're gonna explain
to Robert Zane how you signed me
and lost me inside of two days.
[♪♪♪]

[both characters are high, eating]
Mike: The whole bag? How do you even do that man? I've got like crazy cotton mouth right now.
Harvey: [Harvey with mouth full] Harvey Specter doesn't get cotton mowf.
Mike: [mocking] Cotton mowf?
Harvey: No.
Mike: [laughs] I guess Harvey Specter does get cotton mowf.
Harvey: [still with mouth full] I can't help it these preztels...
Mike: [both characters in unison] are making me
[louder emphasis]
Mike: thirsty!
[both laugh]

Harvey: I'm working on getting Ava off these charges, and I got Mike working on getting her out on bail.
Jessica: So you're back with him.
Harvey: What's the point of having a right arm without a right hand?

Mike: [to Andy] What the fuck did you do?

Harvey: Alex thinks we should make Mike senior partner.

Harvey: That's the Chicago way, isn't it?

Mike: What the hell is wrong with you? I said I was sorry, I gave back the office, I helped you with your case, I even blackmailed Jessica. Harvey, I get that you are pissed off at me, but eventually you are going to have to forgive me.
Harvey: Forgive you for what, making me hire Katrina, getting high on the job your first week, betraying me with Jessica, or for telling Rachel about your secret?
Mike: You cut me loose. Okay? You fired me. I was at my lowest point. She was there for me. She's still there for me.
Harvey: Congratulations. I hope you two are happy together.
Mike: So you're gonna punish me by giving me to Louis? Well, let me tell you something. It failed. I actually like working for Louis. He... he makes me feel like I'm working WITH him, not FOR him.
Harvey: Well, I'm glad to hear that, because I didn't give you to Louis as punishment. I gave you to Louis because you and I are done.
Mike: Harvey, I regret what I did, but I'm telling you right now, you're gonna regret this.
Harvey: Maybe you didn't hear me. I said you and I... We're done.

and I need a little more time before they do.
I understand.
- See you at home.
Hey.
You know I couldn't have done any of this without you.
Any of what?
Everything.

{\an1}and not get caught.
{\an1}What are we gonna do?
- \h\h\h\hI don't know,
{\an1}\h\h\hbut you can't be my associate anymore.
{\an1}I don't want to wait three days to call you.
{\an1}Can tomorrow be our three days?
{\an1}\hWhat if we just say it's tonight and you come on up?

Louis: Ever since I left that hotel room, I've been stuck. We were together again, and it felt just like it did before, except it wasn't, because she wasn't mine, and since then, I've been counting the days until my soulmate marries someone else and walks out of my life forever.
Donna: Louis
Louis: I know she's with another man, Donna, and I know she says that she loves him, but all I wann to do is just say to her, can't she see the man she was meant to be with is standing right in front of her face?
Donna: I'm so sorry.
Louis: I shoulda told her when I had the chance, but that's something I'm gonna have to live with for the rest of my life.

Harvey: Listen, you wanna make a splash? Part the Red Sea.

Benjamin: It's you.
Mike: Aw, that's sweet. You remember me.
Benjamin: Oh, yes. I remember everyone who's ever bamboozled me into giving them a top-of-the-line laptop. Their names are Michael Ross.
Mike: I didn't bamboozle you, Benjamin. I won it fair and square.
Benjamin: And I've been tracking every Internet move you've made for the past ten months, waiting for the slipup.
Mike: Bet you thought you had me at teenybikini. com.

Harvey: Okay, I have two words for you: absolutely beautiful.
Jessica: You think you're the only one who can charm a client?
Harvey: Categorically stunning.
Jessica: How's the new kid working out?
Harvey: Really hot.
Jessica: You're an idiot.
Harvey: Jessica Pearson.
Jessica: Goodnight, Harvey.

whoever it is...
no one stands a chance against Harvey Specter.
And that's the sexiest thing in the world.
What are you saying?
I'm saying that we should go in there
and earn you the best night's sleep you ever had.

Sean: You must be the infamous Harvey Specter.
Harvey: And you must be the chump Eric Woodall ordered to come after me.
Sean: Chump's my name on my mother's side. I do prefer Cahill.

Mike: [to Rachel] Yeah, and I hope you're here to take over, 'cause I'm pretty sure the last thing Oliver cooked was SpaghettiOs.
Oliver: Chef Boyardee, motherfucker, and it was delicious.

Jessica: God damn Michael Ross. He's the gift that keeps on giving. How many more headaches does this kid gonna cause me, Harvey?

Harvey: What if you're wrong?
Dr. Paula Agard: Then I'll be wrong. And you'll be able to handle that.

Louis: [after seeing Harvey's name on the wall] I need a day.

Mike: Louis knows.
Harvey: Louis knows what?
Mike: My dirty little secret.
Harvey: You're Canadian?

Harvey: The rule #1 in not getting caught: You don't move the goddamn body!
Mike: You do if they're about to find it.
Harvey: They're not about to find it!
Mike: They're ALWAYS about to find it!

Harvey: A man like Walter Gillis isn't gonna listen to a guy like you offering to save him with sunshine and rainbows.
Mike: That's exactly what you said to me before I got him to sell me his distribution centers.
Harvey: Congratulations. You got to walk his dog. That doesn't mean he's gonna let you marry his daughter.

Man: Get on the ground, and don't you fucking look at me.
Louis: Okay, okay.
Man: Wallet and phone. Where's the phone?
Louis: There's $1,000 in there, is that... is that not enough?
Man: You think we're negotiating, here?
Louis: No, no, no, it's just that there... there's pictures on my phone that I haven't backed up.
Man: I don't give a shit!

Donna: I mean, come to think of it, athletes coming out is all the rage now.
Louis: And guess what his favorite sport is: Basket... Ball.
Donna: Oh, my God. Shut the front door.
Louis: No, I want to shut the back door.
Donna: Okay, Louis, now that we've firmly established his gayness, why would he think you're gay? I mean, you're... straight as an arrow.
Louis: I may have said that I eat cock for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Donna: What?
Louis: It was a different kind of cock, Donna.

Donna: Do you know why I never batted an eye when I found out Harvey had hired a kid who didn't go to law school?
Jessica: Because you're loyal to him.
Donna: Because I knew what was inside him, and I thought if he had a protege...
Jessica: He could have hired a protege from Harvard.
Donna: But he wouldn't have been forced to protect him.
Jessica: And he wouldn't have become the man he is today.

Judge: I'm ready to hear pretrial motions.
Elliott: Motion to substitute counsel, your honor.
Judge: On what grounds?
Harvey: On the grounds that he's a pussy.

I do.
Do you, Donna Paulsen,
take Harvey Specter to be your lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
Then I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.

Louis: Norma, I've told you a million goddamn times - 2% of Mikado's afternoon milk. She's gonna taste the extra skim, and who do you think she's gonna take it out on? Me. Oh, and find out what the holdup is on my trademark claim on "Litt Up."

and Harvey getting into it with the landlord,
and now you, which all adds up
to this firm not operating the way it should
and me getting a little tired of it.
Now, that's all.
[♪♪♪]

{\an1}♪ Everybody wanna see
- \h\h\hwhat it's like ♪
{\an1}♪ I'll even eat a bean pie,
- \h\h\h\h\h\h\hI don't mind ♪
{\an1}♪ Me and Missy is so busy,
- \h\h\hbusy making money ♪
{\an1}♪ All right ♪
{\an1}\h\h♪ All step back,
- I'm 'bout to dance ♪
{\an1}♪ The greenback boogie ♪

[metal detector goes off]
Security: Sir, need you to step over here, please.
Louis: Easy, Batman. I left my belt on.
Security: Well, if it's okay with you, I'm gonna break out my trusty Bat Metal Detector.
[beep beep]
Security: Sir, we need you to raise your arms above your head, please.
Louis: Hey, I'm gonna need your badge number.
Louis: [seeing his cuticle scissors removed from his pocket] How did those get there?
Security: Sir, this is a weapon.
Louis: A weapon? They're my nail scissors, you asshole. They're gold-plated. They cost $2000.
Security: You're gonna bring a $2000 weapon into MY courthouse?
Louis: I'm just saying I don't even know even how they... how they got there.
Security: Oh, well, maybe the Riddler put them there.

Donna: A bottle of scotch? You couldn't get her anything more personal?
Harvey: She likes scotch.
Donna: You like scotch.
Harvey: She likes me, therefore...
Donna: Why don't you just attach a card that says, "Welcome, generic senior partner?"
Harvey: This is a $12,000 bottle of scotch, and this is one of three left in the world. That doesn't say generic, that says...
Donna: "You're one of three very expensive things I recently purchased."

Louis: How dare you quote me to me.

Harvey: You know what? I know what we're gonna do. I'm going to get the can opener.
Mike: Are you serious right now? You're not messing with me? You're finally going to tell me what you do with that can opener?
Harvey: Do I look serious?
Mike: You look stoned.
Harvey: I am, but I never joke about the can opener. Come on! Let's go, let's go, come on. What we do is...

Louis: My spider parts are tingling.
Mike: Please don't ever say things like that.

Harvey: I wasn't wrong about it being personal. I was wrong about which person. You're not pissed at me. You're pissed at yourself for getting played.
Jessica: What did you just say to me?
Harvey: You heard me. Fools rush in, and you're the one who gave him the 51% in the first place.
Jessica: I merged with Edward for the sake of this firm, just like what I did today with Ava. And the only one in this room taking things personally is you.
Harvey: Tell yourself whatever you want, but don't tell me it doesn't have to do with Darby and don't tell me it isn't personal, because you can't stand being number two.

Harvey: If I file some kind of motion and it's a coin toss, the judge probably rules in their favor.
Marcus: Are you fucking kidding me?

Louis: You've been assigned by the judge to help me in Pretty Boy's trial.
Harvey: Oh, look at that. He thinks I'm pretty.
Mike: Wait, what judge?
Louis: His Honor Daniel Hardman. I'll see you in court, Sweet Tits.

Harvey: You dropped your hands against Alonzo, and I know why. You took a dive.
Ricky: Yo, what the fuck you just say to me, man? 'Cause anyone that knows me knows I would never do that.

Katrina: You're not the fool anymore, Louis. Mike Ross is. And I can't take it back. I put myself out on a limb for you; so, if you say no to me, I won't just be a fool. I'll be done.

Robert: Well, it's official. I just signed over the management of the firm to Louis this morning.
Harvey: And?
Robert: Well, I gotta say, it's a weight lifted off my shoulders.
Harvey: Doesn't look like a weight off.
Robert: Oh, you seriously gonna say that to me today of all days?
Harvey: Yeah, that's how strong I think our bond is.
Robert: Are you sure? Because I can make fun of your physical appearance too.
Harvey: Really? Huh, what would you say?
Robert: ...Never mind.

Jessica: I know I'm gonna regret asking this. Louis, tell me specifically what it is you're talking about.
Louis: They are answering the phones, "Pearson Specter," not "Pearson Specter Litt."
Jessica: Louis...
Louis: You don't believe me? Check it yourself.
Jessica: I'm not harassing our support staff.
Louis: It's not harassment, God damn it!

Louis: Harvey said he wouldn't let me have any of his clients.
Donna: No, he said he would, but then instead of taking him up on it, you went ahead and shit on his feelings.
Louis: Please. Harvey doesn't have feelings.

Donna: I'm sorry, Harvey.
Harvey: I know you are, but this just got a thousand times harder for me to get out of.
Donna: You mean for you to get me out of.
Harvey: Donna, you of all people should understand by now that to me they're the same thing.

Harvey: It's the only way I see us getting a little breathing room, and I'd rather cross my own line than sign their dotted one.

Jonathan: Hessington doesn't have holdings in those areas.
Louis: They do now, and if you don't leave 'em alone, you're gonna be tied up with my friend from the FTC until kingdom goddamn come. Got that, spank?
Jonathan: Then it's a good thing Mr. Gianopolous arranged an exception for us over dinner with his friend, the commissioner of the FTC.
Louis: That's not le...
Jonathan: Legal? Yes, it is, as long as we disclose it - which we always do. You think you're the first lawyer to try to outsmart us? We're not lawyers. We're investment bankers. We call you for the paperwork. We didn't go to Harvard, we went to Wharton, and we saw you coming a mile away. Spank.

Harvey: I'm not her.
Mike: You don't have to be her. The Harvey I met when you first hired me would have told Neil Stilman to go fuck himself.

Eric: It's simple, really. Daniel Hardman's name for yours.
Robert: Excuse me?
Eric: I said you retire, I take Daniel on as a partner, and that is take it or leave it.
Robert: All right. Let's get to it. What the fuck is your problem with me?

Jack: Take a picture, because tomorrow morning, those letters are coming down.

Mike: Speaking of Jessica, you never told me how she felt about my coming back.
Harvey: Find a way to beat Cahill and then ask me that again.

Mike: That woman with Rachel, I took the LSATs for her a couple years ago. If she saw me, she could blow my cover.
Harvey: Oh, really? And how would that go? "Excuse me, when I was cheating for my LSATs, that was the guy who took the test for me"?

Harvey: Now I'm having even more fun because you hit like a monkey trying to have sex with a buffalo.
Mike: What kind of nature films did you watch as a kid?

Jeffrey: Harvey's going to make you regret that.
Mike: Harvey's not going to do shit. This is my case, and you are done.

And how exactly would you suggest I do that?
That's up to you. I happen to know the man plays golf.
So do you.
If it were up to me,
I would start right there.
[♪♪♪]

Robert: This is about Harvey Specter and Jessica Pearson and their divorce negotiations. And you don't go to the one you didn't marry to stick it to the one you did.

Harvey: You seen Rocky IV?
Jim: Only about 30 times.
Harvey: Well, Malik's Ivan Drago, and my old mentor is Apollo Creed.
Jim: Let me guess, you're Rocky.
Harvey: I'm Rocky, Clubber Lang, and Apollo all rolled into one.

Mike: Those fuckers. They knew this was coming. And then they got rid of the evidence.

Robert: So you think you have what it takes to run this firm?
Louis: I know I do. And my first order of business is promoting Alex and Samantha at the same time.
Robert: And any managing partner worth his salt can see they'll never go for it.
Louis: No. They're either both gonna accept this or they're both gonna walk the fuck out the door because I am sick of this shit.

Everyone, I have an announcement to make.
As soon as we can write our vows,
Donna and I are getting married.
I'd offer to officiate but I'm not licensed,
and I just don't think we want to open up
that can of worms again.

Louis: Let me guess. He fired us.
Harvey: He didn't just fire us, Louis. He hired Daniel Hardman to sue us.
Louis: Say that again.
Harvey: Simon hired...
Louis: No, tell me again that Donna put her goddamn relationship above us and now Daniel fucking Hardman is suing my firm.

Louis: I took care of everything, but it's not like Harvey to miss a meeting.
Jessica: Thank you, Louis. I'll look into it.
Louis: You see, that's just it. I think something might be wrong with him.
Jessica: You mean like he's a spy?
Louis: [chuckles] No, Jessica, listen. Ever since my heart attack, I've been worrying about other people's health -- and I'd ask Donna, but I don't wanna burden her with the knowledge of his mortality.
Jessica: You don't think Donna knows Harvey can die?
Louis: Look, Jessica, I know Harvey appears to be lean and relatively fit, but coronary disease can strike even the most handsome.
Jessica: Louis, listen to me. Harvey isn't sick, he didn't have a heart attack, and if he missed that meeting, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
Louis: I'm sure you're right. I'm gonna go check my blood pressure.

Rachel: You got it done.
Mike: How'd you know?
Rachel: Because you're doing that puffy chest thing you do when you feel really good about yourself.
Mike: I do not do a puffy chest thing.
Rachel: Yes, you do. And relax, because I love you and your chest.
Mike: Well, I love you and your chest.

Harvey: Are you telling me that if I throw you under the bus, you're gonna drag me with you?
Mike: You put your interests above mine, and I'm putting them back up next to yours.
Harvey: You're rehired.

Alex: Turns out the software update on those new cartridges, the ones James used...
Tony: Glitched for exactly 12 minutes between 9:43 and 9:55.
Alex: The exact window which I suspect Anne Kendrick's machine reset.
Tony: Fuck.

another ------inch.
I haven't moved anything anywhere.
Now who's bullshitting, Faye?
- Take it or leave it.
Type up the agreement.
- I'll sign it tomorrow.
What was that?
Faye's moving faster than I thought.

Harvey: You telling me you never slipped up and had an inappropriate relationship?
Jessica: Louis, I do not want to know the answer to that.
Louis: I did. It was the most shameful night of my life.
Jessica: Harvey, don't...
Harvey: What exactly was so shameful about it?
Louis: Well, she was a paralegal, and I took mud with her.
Harvey: I don't understand. Are you saying you sullied her reputation?
Louis: No, I'm saying I sullied the concept of mud.
Harvey: What the hell are you talking about?
Louis: What, do I need a bullhorn? I had a premature muddification.
Harvey: What the hell does that mean?
Jessica: I think we all know what that means.
Louis: It means I couldn't hold my mud.

Harvey: Is this your famous grandmother?
Edith: You were right. He is sharp.
Mike: Ha! What are you doing here?
Edith: Mr. Specter, pleasure to meet you.
Harvey: Your grandson says nice things about you.
Edith: Well, he tells me you're quite the hardass.
Mike: CAN be a hardass.
Edith: Hardass isn't really the word he uses.
Mike: 'Kay, Grammy!
Harvey: I see lip runs in the family. Nice meeting you.

Mike: I'm just saying, if you're going to quote a movie, quote a movie.
Harvey: I got one word wrong.
Mike: And changed the entire meaning of the quote!
Harvey: Not to me it didn't. That's what I thought the quote was.
Mike: Okay, fine, you want to be disrespectful to Martin Scorsese, you go right ahead.
Harvey: Martin Scorsese didn't even write the damn movie. If anything, it's disrespectful to the writer.
Mike: Harvey, who cares about the writer?
Harvey: Hm. Guess you're right about that.

And to add to the good news,
- I just heard from Louis.
He's the proud father of a beautiful baby girl.
Harvey,
- I want to go see Louis.
And we will.
But right now,
- I want to dance with my wife.

Jessica: You got Hanson that job at Justice.
Daniel: A loss for us but a gain for Justice, don't you think?
Jessica: And making Louis Litt senior partner behind my back, is that all part of the new Daniel Hardman era of transparency?
Daniel: It was within my rights according to the bylaws you wrote.
Jessica: Ah, yes. And how much did buying his vote cost you?
Daniel: Cost me? It was earned years ago, and your failure to promote him is a perfect example of how your judgment harmed this firm.
Jessica: My judgment, and my discretion, are the only reasons your ass didn't end up in jail five years ago.
Daniel: It wasn't discretion, it was self interest. You ousted me and got the firm.
Jessica: I saved you and got the firm.
Daniel: You did, but you didn't steal the ball from me five years ago. I dropped it. My lieutenant was all you were ever meant to be.

Jessica: But my question isn't why I should want her here, it's why you would want her here.
Harvey: She's the best lawyer I know, after me.
[gets a look]
Harvey: And you.
Jessica: Are you sleeping with her?
Harvey: Excuse me?
Jessica: You have history with this woman, so I just want to know are you doing this because you feel sorry for her or because you want to pay her back or because you love her or what?
Harvey: It's none of your business.
Jessica: It is my business. It is literally my business.

Mike: This can't surprise you anymore.

Jessica: Harvey convinced me, so let's get to it.
Dana: I want a relocation fee.
Jessica: Done.
Dana: And a 10% increase on my signing bonus.
Jessica: Seven.
Dana: You gave Harvey 10%.
Jessica: Do you think you're worth as much as Harvey?
Dana: I'm less of a pain in the ass.
Jessica: 10% it is.

Mike: How could I have guessed this? They didn't go to batting cages in "A Few Good Men."
Harvey: No, but Tom Cruise says he can think better with his bat.

Harvey: Louis, I just offered to consider giving you one of my clients, so I suggest you let Gerard go.
Louis: No, I'm not letting anything go, because it doesn't make any sense. Not only can't he stand you. He doesn't respect you because he's got things...
Harvey: What did you just say to me?
Louis: I said he doesn't respect you.
Harvey: Well, you know what? He definitely doesn't respect YOU, because when he told me he needed a lawyer, I tried to send him your way, and his exact words were, "I don't want Louis. I want you."
Louis: Fine. Then I'll just take another one of your clients.
Harvey: You're not taking a thing.
Louis: You just said that I could...
Harvey: Look, I don't give a shit what I just said, okay? My clients are my clients, and, you don't get out of my office in the next three seconds, something's gonna happen between you and me, and I guarantee it won't end with you keeping all of your teeth.

Mike: Well, if we can't use his alibi, how are we supposed to get him out of this?
Harvey: I don't know, "Professor," but you're the one who wanted us to take this case, so why don't you use that big brain of yours and find a solution?

Harvey: I refuse to answer on the grounds that I don't want to.

Louis: We're going to McKernon Motors, not your senior prom. Why can't we just take the car service?
Harvey: Because we're going to an engine manufacturer. We need to show up with a bad-ass car.
Louis: [Goes up to a sports car] How about this little bad boy right here?
Harvey: That's no good.
Louis: Why the hell not?
Harvey: Because it's not just the two of us.
Louis: What do you mean?
[Sees Mike]
Louis: You son of a bitch. You said you and I are going up there. You lied to me.
Harvey: Because if I didn't, you would have never agreed to come.
Louis: There is no way I'm going.
Harvey: Yes, you are. I don't care if I have to tie you to the roof. By the time we get to McKernon, you and Mike are gonna work your shit out.

Alex: I guess you aren't big on foreplay.
Samantha: Oh, I like foreplay just fine, Alex. But you're right about one thing. You're about to get fucked.

Harvey: Where's Mike? Did he file those papers?
Donna: I-I-I don't know. He's not even in yet.
Harvey: Well, you tell him not to file anything, and you tell him to do whatever he has to to stick it to that woman.

Trevor: That's the best cheeseburger I've had in my life.
Mike: That's from Monday, Trevor.

Harvey: Alex, you are one devious motherfucker.
Alex: Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment.
Harvey: In that case, you're a real asshole of a guy, too.

Rachel: I just wish there was something we could do.
Jessica: Rachel, if this thing moves forward to trial, I will do everything in my power to win; but, there's two minutes left in the game, and our star players are on the field; so, right now, we just have to have faith.
Rachel: We?
Jessica: We. You're going to work here, we're going to be family, and the way to get to know your family is by being with them when their loved ones are in trouble.

And I'll tell you something else.
You two are gonna goddamn sell it to them.
♪
So, what's it gonna be?
Me and Louis and a split decision?
Or are we gonna make this thing unanimous?

Jeff: And who do you actually think is better at determining whether a guy is guilty of insider trading, Louis -- a career prosecutor for the S.E.C. or a monkey in some Italian suit?
Louis: [scoffs] A monkey?
Jeff: Monkey.
Louis: Well, you're nothing but a crowing cock -- and the last cock that walked into my office learned what all the other cocks learned: that I eat cock for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Jeff: Louis, you're gonna let me in that deposition tomorrow whether you like it or not.
Louis: Why, because you're gonna run to Jessica?
Jeff: No, simply because I'm gonna tell everyone here in the office that you said you eat cock for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Louis: Yeah, that's right. It's goddamn delicious. Mm! Mm, mm!
[licks fingertips then barks]

Nick: And you say I'M a monster.
Mike: Being a monster would be putting your client on the stand and making her testify that her husband's death was his own damn fault.

Donna: I'm sorry I don't have a photographic memory, but my brain is already busy being awesome.

Harvey: You put me in front of an unbiased judge, I walk away clean. You put me in a courtroom with a grand jury, anything can happen.

Jessica: What are you doing here so early?
Harvey: I always get in this early.
Jessica: You never get in this early, and I know that for a fact because this is the time I get in every single day.
Harvey: You should sleep in once in a while. It's good for you. Trust me. I do it every single day. It just so happens that this morning I have work to do.
Jessica: What work?
Harvey: The Schmoolkinsberg brief.
Jessica: The Schmoolkinsberg brief? That's what you're going with?
Harvey: It's not gonna write itself.
Jessica: I'm taking your name off the wall.
Harvey: Seriously, I'm here for the Tokyo markets.
Jessica: Name one Tokyo market.
Harvey: The Nikkei.
Jessica: Name another.
Harvey: Honda, Toyota, Kia.
Jessica: Kia's Korean.
Harvey: Yeah, but they're in the same time zone.
Jessica: Where it is currently dinner.

Donna: You aren't having a heart attack, are you?
Stephen: Would that put a crimp in your evening?
Donna: Well, I guess I could scalp your ticket, seeing as it is the hottest of the season.
Stephen: You know, I practically had to sell my spleen for them.
Donna: That's funny. I heard you got them from a client.
Stephen: Did you also hear that I traded him my spleen?

Sean: I better get going. I have to look up the word "innuendo," if you know what I mean.

Mike: Can you pass the sugar?
Rachel: [not paying attention] Yeah, of course.
Mike: Okay, how 'bout that milk?
Rachel: Sounds great.
Mike: How would you feel about me dating other women now that we're living together and all?
Rachel: Pizza's perfect.

Mike: You worked it out with Donna... and Rachel. You lied to Malone for Jessica. What's it gonna take to work it out with me?
Louis: Well, I forgave those people, because they were victims infected with the disease known as Mike Ross. Now I'm stuck in a car with patient zero.
Mike: Okay, Outbreak, patient zero is the first person actually infected with the disease, not the disease itself, and for your information, I'm stuck in the same car as you. At least you don't have to look at the back of your own stupid, fat, balding head.
[Harvey smiles]
Louis: What's so goddamn funny?
Harvey: You two are finally talking.

Jessica: Louis was just suggesting that he run the negotiations.
Harvey: Louis also suggested the firm adopt a badger as a mascot.
Louis: The badger is a noble and fearsome creature, but that's not the point. I can beat 'em.
Harvey: And the Washington Generals think they can beat the Globetrotters, but they're not even in the same league.
Louis: My father played for the Washington Generals.
Harvey: See?