The Best Sy Feltz Quotes

Sy: This is non-negotiable after the stunt you pulled. Feminine hygiene deployed as a weapon!

Sy: You see that?
- That's the last dime you're ever gonna see from the Parking Lot King of Minnesota.
- Yeah? Well, I got something to show you, too.

Sy: Just, this Vargas fella... I got a call from the Oakbridge lot.
Emmit: The raised one?
Sy: No. Ground lot, under the highway. Doesn't get a lot of traffic.
Emmit: Right. Why'd we buy that one again?
Sy: Sprawl-wise, you thought it'd be a good investment long-term. Maybe turn it into condos one day.
Emmit: Right. We should talk to Stan Grossman about that. Test the waters.
Sy: Yeah. I'll make a note.

Sy: Anyway, it seems there's a big rig parked there now.
Emmit: In the lot?
Sy: Mmm-hmm.
Emmit: Well, that's against code.
Sy: Well, okay. There's that, too. But more to the point, what's in it? And I'm a little troubled by the escalation. Money loaned is one thing, but this? A truck full of... Well, it could be anything. Booze, guns. The kind of demeanor this fella has...
Emmit: You think maybe it's... I don't even wanna say it out loud.
Sy: Slave girls?
Emmit: What? No. I was gonna say drugs. You think it's slave girls?
Sy: No.

V.M. Varga: Do you know what a chicken is?
Sy: What?
Sy: A chicken. Do you know what a chicken is?
Sy: [stares in shock]
V.M. Varga: A chicken... Is an egg's way of making another egg. You see, it's all a matter of perspective. The chicken sees it one way, the egg another. So let's start again. This is not your office, just as your wife would not be your wife if I came to her in the night with a platter of cold cuts.

- -[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
- -[ENGINE STARTING]
- Oh! What the shit?
- Oh!
Sy: Oh, jeez!
- My car!
- Look what that animal did to my car!

Emmit: I was thinking, maybe you and Ray...
Sy: What?
Emmit: You and Ray.
Sy: Me and Ray? Is that what he's telling you? Varga? 'Cause that's just crazy.
Emmit: Is it?
Sy: You really think I'm, in the face of all logic, that somehow I decided, me, the partner in a multi-million dollar corporation, that I decided to what, turn on you? Join forces with your leptard brother and his syphilitic floozy, so I could turn millions into thousands? What's the math there?

Sy: We're in trouble here. Enemies are at the gates... inside the gates! Fornicating with our cookware!

Sy: That's... We agreed this was the way to... quit while we're ahead... What's the saying? "If you love something, let it go."
Ruby: "If it comes back, it's yours."
Emmit: "If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."

V.M. Varga: You have... a fat wife.
Sy: Excuse me?
V.M. Varga: Which part of what I just said is giving you trouble?