150 Best Ewan McGregor Quotes

General: Army or not, you must realize, you are doomed.
Obi: Oh, I don't think so.

[speaking about a Pakistani UN tank]
Grimes: These things are fuckin' bullet magnets!

Camerlengo: [after breaking into Conclave and announcing that church is at war] ... but science and religion are not enemies! There are simply some things that science is just too young to understand. So the church pleads: "stop", "slow down", "think", "wait"... and for this - they call us backward. But who is more ignorant: the man who cannot define lightning, or the man who does not respect its natural awesome power?

[the bomb that threatens to destroy St.Peter's is set to go off at midnight. The Camerlengo is discussing evacuation with his security chief]
Camerlengo: At 11:15, if the Church is still in peril, If we are still in peril... give the order to evacuate the Cardinals. But with dignity. Let them walk out into St. Peter's Square with their heads held high. I don't want the last image of this Church to be of frightened old men sneaking out the back door.

Aunt: And what's your name?
Rodney: [is mesmerized by her large derriere] I'm Rodney Bigbottom.
[beat]
Rodney: No, I mean - I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.

Tom: What's with all the biting?

Lincoln: [after escaping and finding McCord in the 'can'] So this is Sector Five!

[Padme is in the medical center]
GH: Medically, she is completely healthy. For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her.
Obi: She's dying?
GH: We don't know why. She has lost the will to live. We need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies.
Senator: Babies?
GH: She's carrying twins.

Camerlengo: Our church is at war. We are under attack from an old enemy. The Illuminati. They have struck us from within. Murdering our Holy Father. And threatening us all with destruction at the hands of their new god, science.

- I'm Agent Dollard from the IRS.
Emmit: That's...
- What is this about?
- Just a routine visit, or...
- Well, maybe we could go to your office?
- Great.
- It's, uh, right back here.

Lincoln: You still think there's an Island?

- Mesa, Your Highness?
- Yes. I need your help.
- I have one battleship on my scope.
Obi: It's a droid control ship.
- PANAKA: They've probably spotted us.
- We haven't much time.

Client: Merrick Biotech. How may I help you?
Tom: Hi, this is a client, Tom Lincoln.
Client: Hi, Mr. Lincoln.
Tom: Yeah, I was wondering if you could get someone who can explain to me why my insurance policy is sitting downstairs on my fucking sofa!

Sandra: You don't even know me.
Young: I have the rest of my life to find out.

Merrick: [Lincoln Six-Echo has returned to the underground facility to shut down the hologram and reveal the real world to the clones when Merrick captures him] You could've taken over his life, but you chose to come back here instead, you are unique, Six-Echo.
Lincoln: My name... is *Lincoln*!

Obi: You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind, until now, until now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy.
Anakin: Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan! I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire.
Obi: Your new Empire?
Anakin: Don't make me kill you.
Obi: Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!
Anakin: If you're not with me, then you're my enemy.
Obi: [realizing that Anakin is consumed by evil and there's no reasoning with him anymore] Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
[draws his lightsaber]
Obi: I will do what I must.
Anakin: You will try.
[draws his lightsaber and confronts Obi-Wan]

Obi: [returning Anakin's lightsaber] This weapon is your life.

Cammy: I'm tired, Ford. I want out.
Ford: There is no way out. Face up to it, we belong together. You gonna tell me why? You know the answer, tell me.
Cammy: 'Cos we're zombies...
Ford: That's right. Ghouls... the walking dead... whatever you want to call us, we're no longer part of the world out there. The living can't be trusted.
Jimmy: Neither can the dead!

Emmit: What's that old quote? The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Qui: [mumbles, as Obi-Wan sits him up after battle with Darth Maul] Uhh, it's too late, it...
Obi: No!
Qui: Obi-Wan, promise... Promise me you will train the boy.
Obi: Yes, master.
Qui: [wiping a tear from Obi-Wan's right cheek] He is the chosen one. He will bring balance. Train him.
Obi: [nods, cries over Qui-Gon Jinn's body]

- Monsters out dare. Leak'n in here.
- All sink'n and no power?
- Whena yousa tinkin wesa in trouble?
Obi: Power's back.
- Huh?
[SCREAMS] Monster's back!
- Relax.
- You overdid it.

Rose the Hat: What's in those? Something special, huh?
Dan: They're not special, they're starving!

Karl: I don't want to eat you. I just get so hungry. I'm just too big.
Young: Did you ever think that maybe you're not too big, but maybe this town is just too small?

Camerlengo: Christianity's most sacred codices are in that archive. Given your recent... entanglement with the Church, there is a question I'd like to ask you first here in-in the office of His Holiness.
[Walks towards Robert Langdon]
Camerlengo: Do you believe in God, sir?
Robert: [pause] Father, I simply believe that religion...
Camerlengo: I did not ask if you believe what man says about God. I asked if you believe in God.
Robert: [pause] I'm an academic. My mind tells me I will never... understand God.
Camerlengo: And your heart?
Robert: [pause] Tells me I'm not meant to. Faith is a gift... that I have yet to receive.
Camerlengo: [pauses to consider his words] Be delicate with our treasures.

Sy: That's... We agreed this was the way to... quit while we're ahead... What's the saying? "If you love something, let it go."
Ruby: "If it comes back, it's yours."
Emmit: "If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it."

Steele: What the fuck are you doing out there?
Sanderson: Doing my job! We got to get to that crash site! We got to get on that street, and we got to move! And you have got to keep up, sir!
Steele: Don't you ever give me orders, Sergeant! We are combat ineffective, you understand me? We got too many wounded to move!
Sanderson: Then give me some shooters and I'll circle us to the bird.
Steele: Grimes! You're with Chalk Four?
Grimes: Yes, sir!
Steele: All right, hook up with Delta! Rejoin with Sergeant Eversmann. The rest of you, secure this position! Treat the wounded. We'll wait for the convoy! Then we'll rally at the crash site.
Sanderson: My guys, let's go!

Lincoln: What's sex?
Tom: Wait ? you're a virgin? You've been kicking around with *her* and you're a... a v-v-virgin? Well, I won't spoil the surprise. Boy, are you in for a treat.

Anakin: Obi-Wan, may the force be with you.
Obi: Goodbye old friend. May the force be with you.

Young: There comes a point when any reasonable man will swallow his pride and admit he made a mistake. The truth is... I was never a reasonable man.

[Lincoln Six Echo and Jordan Two Delta are asking a bartender where to find McCord]
Aces: Well, it's your lucky day, Captain Kirk. He's in the can.
Lincoln: He's in a can?
Aces: Takin' a dump.
Lincoln: A dump? Taking it where?
Aces: Tell you what, Bubba, you're fixing to get on my nerves. First door on the right.
Lincoln: Thank you.
[Lincoln Six Echo turns to Jordan Two Delta]
Lincoln: I have to go. He's taking a dump in a can!

The: [Jack takes a drink] A man tries. He provides. But is surrounded by mouths that eat and scream and cry and nag. So he asks for one thing, just one thing for him, to warm him up, to take the sting out of those days and the mouths eating and eating and eating everything he makes, everything he has. A family. A wife, a kid. Those mouths eat time. They eat your days on Earth.
[pours another drink]
The: Just gobble them up. It's enough to make a man *sick*. And this
[offers Dan the glass of whiskey]
The: ... is the medicine. So tell me, pup... are you going to take your medicine?
Dan: [tearfully] ... I'm not!
[Jack knocks the glass away, smashing it]

Jordan: [she and Lincoln are looking at a rattlesnake] What is that?
Lincoln: I don't know. But it's alive.
[the rattlesnake strikes out, and Lincoln pulls back]
Lincoln: Come on. It's mean, whatever it is.

Camerlengo: Open the doors, evacuate St. Peter's Square and tell the world the truth.

Cricket: [after being hugged between Geppetto and Pinocchio] Love hurts.

Rodney: If anything goes wrong, we'll signal each other.
Fender: What kind of signal would you want? You want something kind of subtle, like...
[Whispers gibberish]
Fender: Or...
[Barks loudly like a seal]
Fender: Oh, how about this?
Fender: [Very loudly] Caw-caw! Caw-caw! R-R-R-R-R-Ricola!
Rodney: Subtle.

Young: And what I recall of Sunday school was that the more difficult something became, the more rewarding it was in the end.

Henry: [to his young son] But you know, you know, the most scary bit for me?
Thomas: When the water hit?
Henry: No. After that, when I came up, I was on my own. That was the scariest part. And when I saw the two of you clinging to the tree, I didn't feel so scared anymore. I knew I wasn't on my own. You see?

Obi: The boy is dangerous. They all sense it, why can't you?

Ford: Not in my face! *Anywhere* but in my face!

Camerlengo: We are at war! We're weak when we should be strong! If science is allowed to claim the power of creation, what is left for God?

Rodney: When was the last time you got oiled?
Fender: Yeah, I can't really answer that in front of my kid sister.

Norther: I've been working on this poem for 12 years.
Young: Really?
Norther: There's a lot of expectation. I don't wanna disappoint my fans.
Young: May I?
Young: [Edward reeds the poem on the notebook] The grass so green Skies so blue. Spectre is really great!
Young: It's only three lines long.
Norther: This is why you should never show a work in progress.

Emmit: ...nothing like a feud.
- VARGA: Will wonders never cease?
Ray: Go figure.
- It's a pretty common name.
- -There's jealousy there.
- -VARGA: Ladies shoes.
- Screw it.

Ford: The bank's just up ahead, I know it.
Cutter: Ain't here, mate.
Ford: Well I don't remember askin' you, assbag! Maybe you should pay more attention to the pecking order around here, huh?.

Sy: Just, this Vargas fella... I got a call from the Oakbridge lot.
Emmit: The raised one?
Sy: No. Ground lot, under the highway. Doesn't get a lot of traffic.
Emmit: Right. Why'd we buy that one again?
Sy: Sprawl-wise, you thought it'd be a good investment long-term. Maybe turn it into condos one day.
Emmit: Right. We should talk to Stan Grossman about that. Test the waters.
Sy: Yeah. I'll make a note.

Obi: [jumps down to Grievous] Hello, there.
[sees he is surrounded by hundreds of battle droids]

Fender: You consider me a friend?
Rodney: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Fender: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

Sanderson: So where did they find you?
Grimes: Behind a desk.
[Sanderson laughs]
Grimes: No really.

Ray: Hey! Dickhead!
Maurice: Huh?
Ray: I gotta place, turns out a place that needs some robbing. A little robbing, not wholesale burglary, just a specific... Just looking for a certain item. And if you do it... well let's just say... your little problem goes up in smoke.
Maurice: What are we talking about?
Ray: A stamp.
Maurice: A stamp?... Like a... postage stamp?
Ray: Yeah.
Maurice: Cool... Cool... So I mean, I know I'm the moron but...
Ray: It's not that kind of stamp numb nuts... It's a vintage stamp, it's got you know... sentimental value for me... It's my stamp.
Maurice: Your stamp.
Ray: But it's, you know, at someone else's house temporarily.
Maurice: Cool, cool... So why not just ask for it back?
Ray: Well it's, you know, complicated... Just get the damn stamp.

[Amos returns from the woods after being a wolf for a night]
Amos: Didn't kill anything, did I?
Young: A couple of rabbits, but I think one of 'em was already dead.
Amos: That would explain the indigestion.

Albert: You've been witness to certain trade secrets.
Lincoln: [knowingly] You mean that they manufacture human beings who walk, talk... and feel? That kind of secret?
Albert: [catching on] Have you talked with anyone else about this?
Lincoln: Who would believe it?
Albert: Can I count on that?
Lincoln: The only thing you can count on is that people will do anything to survive. I just want to live. I don't care how.

Merrick: Why don't you tell me about your dream?
Lincoln: It's always the same dream - I'm on a boat, headed to The Island.
Merrick: What happens then?
Lincoln: I drown.

Rodney: But I don't want my picture taken.
Fender: You don't?
Rodney: No.
Fender: That's okay, there's no film in the camera.

Henry: Did you set the alarm before we left?
Maria: Yeah, it was the last thing I did.
Henry: No, I was the last one to leave. I was the last one to leave, and I'm sure I didn't set it.
Maria: No darling, I was the last one out, and I did. I promise.
Henry: You sure?
Maria: Yup.
Henry: K.
Henry: [after a long pause] No, no, I was the last one, 'cause I went back in, and that means the alarm is not set, 'cause I didn't set it.
Maria: Well, um, I guess that means we'll be coming home to a large bunch of hippies sleeping in our bed.
Henry: What, just like your old college days?

Tom: Look, you're creeping me out enough without that.
Lincoln: [Imitating] Without that!
Tom: No, really, cut it out. That's enough!
Lincoln: You're right, that is enough, sorry.
Tom: You're like a freak show!
Lincoln: Yeah, it's weird.

Obi: Why do I get the feeling that we've picked up another pathetic life form?

Young: [voice over narration] It occurred to me then, that perhaps the reason for my growth was I was intended for larger things. After all, a giant man can't have an ordinary-sized life.

Emmit: Enjoy yourselves come on.
- I got you five minutes.
- Go get him tiger.
- Yeah.
- How we doing?
- Good to see you, thanks for coming.

Rodney: Why do you have two noses?
Fender: One's for showin', one's for blowin'.

Pinocchio: What's a burden?
Cricket: It's something painful you must carry, even though it hurts you very much.

Lincoln: What's "God"?
McCord: Well, you know, when you want something really bad and you close your eyes and you wish for it? God's the guy that ignores you.

Cricket: What happens, happens, and then we are gone.

- Out of the car, now.
- Damn it.
- Ma'am, do not take another step.
Emmit: Honest, listen,
- I'm not the...
- She's the one, I'm harmless, you should...
- For Christ's sake, shoot her.

Rodney: Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?
Bigweld: I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball.
Rodney: I'll take that as a no.

Anakin: I sense Count Dooku.
Obi: I sense a trap.
Anakin: Next move?
Obi: [smiling] Spring the trap.

Camerlengo: Would it surprise you to find those clothes suit you?
Robert: [chuckles] It would surprise the hell out of me.

Jordan: [watching motorcycle scream down the asphalt] What was that?
Lincoln: I don't know.
[smiles]
Lincoln: But I want one.

Lincoln: [as Jordan starts kissing him passionately] Oh, that tongue thing is amazing.
Jordan: I know. Open your mouth again.
Lincoln: How come we never did this before?
Jordan: [kissing him] Shut up.

Grimes: It's all in the grind, Sizemore. Can't be too fine, can't be too coarse. This, my friend, is a science. I mean you're looking at the guy that believed all the commercials. You know, about the "be all you can be." I made coffee through Desert Storm. I made coffee through Panama while everyone else got to fight, got to be a Ranger. Now it's "Grimesy, black, one sugar" or "Grimesy, got a powdered anywhere?"

- You better come down here.
Stella: Everything okay?
- Gotta go to the office hun.
- Hun?
- You're in your house shoes.
Emmit: Good call.

Obi: I was beginning to wonder if you'd got my message.
Anakin: I retransmitted it to Coruscant, just as you'd requested, Master. Then we decided to come and rescue you.
Obi: [looks at his handcuffed hands] Good job.

Anakin: You're going to pay for all the Jedi that you killed today, Dooku.
Obi: We'll take him together. You go in slowly on the left...
Anakin: No, I'm taking him NOW!
Obi: No Anakin, NO!

[first lines]
Young: There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they are faster or stronger than other fish, they're just touched by something extra.

Amos: She likes music.
Young: [smiles] Music. She likes music.

Obi: Rey.
Yoda: Rise in the Force.
Kanan: In the heart of a Jedi lies her strength.
Obi: Rise.
Qui: Rise.
Luke: Rey, the Force will be with you, always.

The: [Dan tries to talk about Wendy's death but Jack ignores this and offers him a drink] Maybe something warm... to push away such unpleasantries.
Dan: Don't you want to hear about it? She was your wife!
The: I think you've mistaken me for someone else. I'm just the bartender.
Dan: Oh, yeah. Just Lloyd the bartender... pouring joy at the Overlook Hotel.
The: I'll pour whatever you like, mister Torrance.
Dan: Oh, Dad... this drink will cost an awful lot!
The: Your money is no good here. Orders from the House.
Dan: It will cost more than money. It will cost me eight years... eight behind me and who knows how many in front of me.

[During Rey's vision after touching Luke's lightsaber]
Obi: Rey? These are your first steps.

Abra: You're magic. Like me
Danny: You need to listen to me. The world's a hungry place. A dark place. I've only met two or three people like us. They died. When I was a kid, I bumped into these things. I don't know about magic. I, I always called it "the shining."

Anakin: I saw your ship! What are you doing out here?
Padmé: I was so worried about you! Obi-Wan... told me terrible things.
Anakin: What things?
Padmé: He said... you've turned to the Dark Side, that you... killed younglings!
Anakin: Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.
Padmé: He cares about us.
Anakin: Us?
Padmé: He knows. He wants to help you. Anakin, all I want is your love.
Anakin: Love won't save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that.
Padmé: At what cost? You're a good person. Don't do this!
Anakin: I won't lose you the way I lost my mother. I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of, and I'm doing it for you... to protect you.
Padmé: Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can!
Anakin: Don't you see? We don't have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor; I... I can overthrow him. And together, you and I can rule the galaxy... make things the way we want them to be!
Padmé: I don't believe what I'm hearing! Obi-Wan was right... you've changed!
Anakin: [growing angry] I don't want to hear anymore about Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me. Don't you turn against me!
Padmé: [crying] I don't know you anymore! Anakin... you're breaking my heart! You're going down a path I can't follow!
Anakin: Because of Obi-Wan?
Padmé: Because of what you've done... what you plan to do! Stop! Stop now... come back! I love you!
Anakin: [looks past Padmé to see Obi-Wan standing in the ship] Liar!
Padmé: [turns to see Obi-Wan, gasps] No!
Anakin: [to Padmé] You're with him! You've brought him here to kill me!
[begins choking Padmé with the Force]
Obi: Let her go, Anakin!
Padmé: [choking] Anakin...
Obi: Let... her... go!
[releases Padmé, who falls to the ground, unconscious]

Tom: [pointing a gun to Lincoln Six-Echo] I'm sorry, I'm not ready to die.
Lincoln: Me either!
[floors the gas]

Obi: But Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.
Qui: But not at the expense of the moment.

[Grimes sees smoke from Somali tire fires in the distance as the Rangers fly towards the city]
Grimes: Why are they burning tires?
Waddell: Signals to the militia, that we're coming.

[last lines]
Obi: I have to admit that without the clones, it would have not been a victory.
Yoda: Victory? Victory you say? Master Obi-Wan, not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the Clone War has.

Cricket: [clears throat] You must try your best, and that's the best anybody can do.

Obi: It's over Anakin, I have the high ground.
Anakin: You underestimate my power!
Obi: Don't try it.

Emmit: A lie is not a lie if you believe it's true.

[When meeting young Sandra Templeton for the first time]
Young: You don't know me but my name is Edward Bloom and I love you.

- Steady.
- Easy, R2.
- Five thousand. Fire ships on the left and the right.
- We'll take you in.
Obi: Copy that.
- Landing strip, straight ahead.
- We're coming in too hot.

Obi: Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?
Anakin: Don't say that, master. You're the closest thing I have to a father.

Obi: [referring to Anakin] When was the last time you saw him?
Padmé: Yesterday.
Obi: And do you know where he is now?
Padmé: [clearly lying] No.
Obi: Padmé, I need your help. He is in grave danger.
Padmé: From the Sith?
Obi: From himself. Padmé, Anakin has turned to the dark side.
Padmé: You're wrong. How could you even say that?
Obi: I have seen... a security hologram... of him... killing younglings.
Padmé: Not Anakin. He couldn't.
Obi: He was deceived by a lie. We all were. It appears that the Chancellor is behind everything, including the war. Palpatine is the Sith lord we've been looking for. After the death of Count Dooku, Anakin became his new apprentice.
Padmé: [turns away in shock; sits down on the couch] I don't believe you. I can't.
Obi: [sits down on the couch] Padmé, I must find him.
Padmé: [turns to Obi-Wan] You're going to kill him, aren't you?
Obi: He has become a very great threat.
Padmé: [turns away and shakes her head] I can't.
Obi: [gets off of the couch, walking towards his ship] Anakin is the father, isn't he?
[Padmé doesn't know what to say]
Obi: I'm so sorry.

- Mesa day starten pitty okeyday witda brisky morning munchen.
- Den boom! Getten berry scared and grabben dat Jedi, and pow, mesa here.
- Mesa getten berry, berry scared.
- PILOT: That's it. Tatooine.
Obi: There's a settlement.
- Land near the outskirts.
- We don't want to attract attention.

Nikki: You're the hand and I'm the glove.
Ray: You're the bottle and I'm the beer.
Nikki: Or the beer and the glass in my case.

Danny: We're all dying. The world's just one big hospice with fresh air.

Tom: [from trailer] Don't shoot! He's my clone!

[a large part of Greivous's ship breaks away]
R2: [beeps] Uh-oh.
Anakin: We lost something.
Obi: Not to worry. We're still flying half a ship.

Obi: These are you final steps, Rey. Rise and take them.
Anakin: Rey.
Ahsoka: Rey.
Kanan: Rey.
Anakin: Bring back the balance, Rey, as I did.
Luminara: In the night, find the light, Rey.
Mace: You're not alone, Rey.
Yoda: Alone, never have you been.
Qui: Every Jedi who ever lived, lives in you.
Anakin: The force surrounds you, Rey.
Aayla: Let it guide you.
Ahsoka: As it guided us.
Mace: Feel the force feeling through you, Rey.
Anakin: Let it lift you.
Adi: Rise, Rey.
Qui: We stand behind you, Rey.

Young: It was that night I discovered that most things you consider evil or wicked are simply lonely, and lacking in the social niceties.

[Obi-Wan regains consciousness while hanging precariously inside an elevator shaft underneath Anakin]
Anakin: Easy! We're in a bit of a situation.
Obi: Did I miss something?

Cricket: I want to tell you a story. It's a story you may think you know, but you don't. Not really. You see, I, Sebastian J. Cricket, was there. As a matter of fact, I lived, actually lived, in the heart of the wooden boy.

Armed: Drop it, bitch!
Cammy: Bitch?!
Ford: Shit...
Cammy: Who the *hell* do you think you're talking to?
Ford: No!
Armed: Drop it, or he's dead!
Cammy: In your dreams! I'm gonna wear your ears on a fackin' necklace, kato!
Armed: Don't call me kato, bitch!
Cammy: Then don't call me bitch, kato!

Lincoln: Why do we sound different?
Tom: I'm from Scotland.
Lincoln: [imitating] I'm from Scotland.

Anakin: If you'll excuse me Master.
[Anakin jumps out of the speeder]
Obi: I hate it when he does that.

Roman Sionis: [about the shrunken heads in his home] He's over a thousand years old, and now he's just an ornament in my living room. Ew... I love it!

[after an explosion]
Sanderson: Are you alright?
Grimes: Yeah, I can hear bells ringin'!

Roman Sionis: Will your paramour be joining us this evening?
Harley: Not tonight, Romy. Not tonight.
Roman Sionis: Well, enjoy yourself, Miss Quinn. And do give the Joker my best.
Harley: [voice over] Okay, fine, so I hadn't told people about the breakup. But you don't understand. Being Joker's girl gave me immunity. I could do whatever I wanted, to whoever I wanted, and no one ever dared to object.

Obi: I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you.
Anakin: I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over!
Obi: Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!
Anakin: From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!
Obi: Well, then you are lost!
Anakin: [raises his lightsaber] This is the end for you, my master.

Obi: Thank you.
- You wanna buy some death sticks?
- You don't want to sell me death sticks.
- I don't want to sell you death sticks.
- You want to go home and rethink your life.
- I want to go home and rethink my life.

[R2-D2 tries repeatedly to control an elevator that Anakin and Obi-Wan are in while avoiding battle droids at the same time]
Anakin: What was that all about?
Obi: Well, R2 has been...
Anakin: No loose wire jokes.
Obi: Did I say anything?
Anakin: He's trying.
Obi: I didn't say anything.

The: If you don't mind my saying Mr Torrance, you seem... put upon.
Dan: Put upon?
The: Ain't that the way? Man just living his life, trying to do his work, is put upon... pulled into other people's problems. I see it all the time, if you don't mind my saying.

The: I apologize mister Torrance. I don't know where everyone is, but it will pick up.
Dan: Oh, I know where they are. And you're right... it will pick up.

Ford: Cam, Cam, Cammy, Cammy! You've got every right to be breathin' fire here, no-one says you don't, but, uh, the spray on that bird gun is pretty wide, honey.
Cammy: Your point being?
Ford: Well, my point being we've got a better chance of gettin' out of here alive if you use what's between your legs instead of that thunderstick in your hands.

Cammy: Ford, don't be such a wanker! This isn't a good idea and you know it!
Ford: I don't know what a "wanker" is and I don't care. Look, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Whoever heard of puttin' a laundromat in a bank?

Emmit: Well, I gotta say, it's a huge relief.
- With the week I'm having, and after all these years.
- Me, too. [CHUCKLES]
Emmit: Get home safe.

V.M. Varga: And now might I be so forward, madam, as to ask for the location of your WC.
Stella: Our what?
Emmit: He means the crapper.

Black: Why don't I own the crossbow killer? I like crossbows!

[about Anakin]
Obi: Always on the move.

Obi: Just relax, concentrate.
Anakin: What about Padme?
Obi: She seems to be on top of things.

Obi: [after Anakin crash-lands The Invisible Hand onto a landing platform] Another happy landing.

Obi: Now, let's get a move on. We've got a battle to win here.
Commander: Yes, sir.
[Obi-Wan and his lizard ride off. Commander Cody stops and opens his comlink, revealing the hologram of Darth Sidious]
Darth: Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.
Commander: Yes, my Lord.
[the comlink is shut. Cody gestures towards Obi-Wan]
Commander: Blast him!

Cammy: What did you call me?!
Jimmy: A name. Worthy of your species... dog!
Ford: Hey! You're gonna regret that!
Cammy: Bitch!? That's what I thought you said! Kiss my zombie arse, motherfucker!

Tom: I design boats but I never thought I'd get rich doing it.

- making soup out of your dirty socks.
Emmit: When I'm done with you, they'll be sponging you off the floor.
- VARGA: Bigger the bank, the safer the banker.
- So, the IRS?
- Leave the IRS to me.

Merrick: [putting microsensors in Lincoln Six-Echo's eyes] Don't worry, it's painless.
Lincoln: [in pain] It hurts.
Merrick: [nonchalant] Not really.
Lincoln: Yeah, it does.
Merrick: No it doesn't.
Lincoln: Yeah, it really, really does.
Merrick: [after all microsensors went under Lincoln Six-Echo's eyes] The microsensors will move along your optic nerve. They will be uploading readings over the next 24 hours, after which you will pass them through your urine. Now *that* might hurt.

Fender: Oh, no!
Rodney: What?
Fender: We're going off the track! We're going to crash! I don't want to die!
[the sphere they are riding free falls and both scream; then the sphere lands in a catapult]
Fender: [laughing] I was just kidding! Put your head between your legs.

Young: Your last name is different. You married.
Jenny: I was 18, he was 28. Turns out it was a big difference.

General: Anakin Skywalker. I expected someone with your reputation to be a little... older.
Anakin: General Grievous... you're shorter than I expected.
General: Jedi scum!
Obi: We have a job to do, Anakin. Try not to upset him.

Emmit: [Ray Stussy, posing as Emmit] Buck, if I wanted an opinion from an asshole, I'd ask my own.

Obi: Captain Typho has more than enough men downstairs. No assassin will try that way. Any activity up here?
Anakin: Quiet as a tomb. I don't like just waiting here for something to happen to her.
[Obi-Wan checks a palm-sized view scanner he has pulled out of his utility belt. It views R2D2, over by the door, but no sign of Padme's bed]
Obi: What's going on?
Anakin: [shrugs] She covered the cameras. I don't think she liked me watching her.
Obi: What is she thinking?
Anakin: She programmed R2 to warn us if there's an intruder.
Obi: It's not an intruder I'm worried about. There are many other ways to kill a Senator.
Anakin: I know, but we also want to catch this assassin. Don't we, Master?
Obi: You're using her as bait?
Anakin: It was her idea... Don't worry, no harm will come to her. I can sense everything going on in that room. Trust me.
Obi: It's too risky... besides, your senses aren't that attuned, young apprentice.
Anakin: And yours are?
Obi: Possibly.
[Cuts to a shot of Zam Wesell loading a probe droid and dispatching it. When it cuts back, Anakin and Obi-Wan have moved their conversation to the balcony]
Obi: You look tired.
Anakin: I don't sleep well anymore.
Obi: Because of your mother?
Anakin: I don't know why I keep dreaming about her now. I haven't seen her since I was little.
Obi: Dreams pass in time.
Anakin: I'd rather dream of Padmé. Just being around her again is... intoxicating.
Obi: Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you. You've made a commitment to the Jedi Order... a commitment not easily broken... and don't forget she's a politician. They're not to be trusted.
[the probe droid cuts a hole into Padme's window. R2 awakens, but when he sees no alarm, he shuts off]
Anakin: She's not like the others in the Senate, Master.
Obi: It's been my experience that Senators are only focused on pleasing those who fund their campaigns... and they are more than willing to forget the niceties of democracy to get those funds.
Anakin: Not another lecture, Master. Not on the economics of politics...
[They return to the main room]
Anakin: ... and besides, you're generalizing. The Chancellor doesn't appear to be corrupt.
Obi: Palpatine's a politician. I've observed that he is very clever at following the passions and prejudices of the Senators.
[R2 sounds an alarm as the poisonous Kohuns get within inches of Padme's face]
Anakin: I think he is a good man. My instincts are very positive about...
[He stops]
Obi: I sense it, too.
[They move and quickly kill the Kohuns]

Danny: Our beliefs don't make us better people. Our actions make us better people.

Yoda: The council is confident in its decision, Obi-Wan.
Mace: The boy has exceptional skills.
Obi: But he still has much to learn, Master. His abilities have made him... well arrogant.
Yoda: Yes. Yes. A flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves they are. Even the older, more experienced ones.

Tom: [about Jordan] She is unbelievable. How is it you've been around three years, and you end up with the kind of woman I haven't been able to find my whole life?

[while pursuing Count Dooku, a laserblast knocks Padme out of the gunship]
Anakin: PADME!
[to pilot]
Anakin: Put the ship down!
Obi: Anakin! Don't let your personal feelings get in the way!
[to pilot]
Obi: Follow that speeder.
Anakin: Lower the ship!
Obi: I can't take Dooku alone! I need you! If we catch him, we can end this war right now! We have a job to do!
Anakin: I don't care! Put the ship down!
Obi: You will be expelled from the Jedi order!
Anakin: I CAN'T LEAVE HER!
Obi: COME TO YOUR SENSES! What do you think Padme would do were she in your position?
Anakin: [pause] She would do her duty.

Ford: Don't you see? That's our bond! We're in this together! We're two of a kind!
Cammy: I don't believe that anymore... people are more accepting...
Ford: People are shit!

Emmit: [Repeated] Clicks and buzzers.

Cammy: Ford, if they don't kill ya, I'm gonna do it myself!
Ford: Yeah, promises, promises... hey, be cool kids! Okay? Let's just be cool here! I'm a firm believer in the teachings of Buddha, and like the fat man always said; first come, first served!

Obi: What took you so long?
Anakin: Well, you know, Master, I couldn't find a speeder that I really liked...
Obi: There he is.
Anakin: ...with an open cockpit and the right speed capabilities.
Obi: If you spent as much time practicing your saber techniques as you did your wit, you'd rival Master Yoda as a swordsman.
Anakin: I thought I already did.
Obi: Only in your mind, my very young apprentice.

Emmit: I was thinking, maybe you and Ray...
Sy: What?
Emmit: You and Ray.
Sy: Me and Ray? Is that what he's telling you? Varga? 'Cause that's just crazy.
Emmit: Is it?
Sy: You really think I'm, in the face of all logic, that somehow I decided, me, the partner in a multi-million dollar corporation, that I decided to what, turn on you? Join forces with your leptard brother and his syphilitic floozy, so I could turn millions into thousands? What's the math there?

Young: I just saw the woman I'm going to marry. I know it. But I lost her.
Amos: Oh, tough break. Well, most men have to get married *before* they lose their wives.
Young: I'm gonna spend every day for the rest of my life looking for her. That, or die alone!
Amos: Damn, kid. Lemme guess. Real pretty? Reddish-blondish hair? Blue dress?
Young: Yeah!
Amos: I know her uncle. Friends of the family.
Young: Who is she? Where does she live?
Amos: Forget it kid, don't waste your time. She's out of your league.
Young: What do you mean? You don't even know me.
Amos: Sure I do! You were hot shit back in Hickville, but here in the real world, you got squat! You don't have a plan, you don't have a job, you don't have anything except the clothes on your back.

Black: WOOO! Who's having a good time?

Anakin: You turned her against me!
Obi: You have done that yourself.
Anakin: You will not take her from me!
Obi: Your anger and lust for power have already done that. You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind, until now, until now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy.
Anakin: Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan! I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire!
Obi: Your new Empire?
Anakin: Don't make me kill you.
Obi: Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!
Anakin: If you're not with me, then you're my enemy.
Obi: [realizing that Anakin is consumed by evil and there's no reasoning with him anymore] Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
[draws his lightsaber]
Obi: I will do what I must.
Anakin: Anakin Skywalker Christensen, Hayden You will try.
[draws his lightsaber and confronts Obi-Wan]

- Throw this in the "Outgoing" for the morning?
Emmit: My name's Emmit Stussy.
- I want to confess.

Obi: [anguished] You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the force... not leave it in darkness!
Anakin: [shouts] I HATE YOU!
Obi: You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!

Harley: I'm sorry, kid. And I'm sorry I tried to sell you, that was a dick move. For what it's worth, you made me want to be a less terrible person.
Roman Sionis: Ew.
Cassandra: If we're apologising for shit, I should tell you something.
Roman Sionis: Excuse me!
Cassandra: I stole something from you.
Harley: You slippery fingered little turd.
Cassandra: I took your ring.
Harley: My ring?
[Cassandra holds up a grenade pin]

Lincoln: I'm missing a shoe.

Lincoln: Thanks for doing this.
Tom: That's all right. I'd like to think you'd do the same thing if you were me.

Garrison: Good luck, boys. Be careful. Nobody gets left behind.
Grimes: [looks at Eversmann's face]
Grimes: What's wrong?
Eversmann: Nothing. He's just never done that before.
Grimes: Oh, fuck!

Elan: You wanna buy some death sticks?
Obi: [using a Jedi Mind Trick] You don't want to sell me death sticks.
Elan: Uh, I don't want to sell you death sticks.
Obi: You want to go home and rethink your life.
Elan: I want to go home and rethink my life.

Piper: Did I miss the butt wuppin'?
Crank,252: [surrounded by menacing machines, everyone freezes, staring at her and then move again] No.
Crank: Actually, you're a little early.
Piper: [the rest of the wall falls down, revealing an army of outmoded robots behind her, chanting "Rodney! Rodney! Rodney!"] Then let's get started!
Fender: Testify, sister!
Rodney: Charge!
Piper: Come on!
[All the bots move in to attack]

Young: Now I may not have much, but I have more determination then any man you're ever likely to meet.

Camerlengo: Have you come to make me a martyr?