Top 100 Quotes From The Martian

Mark: I admit it's fatally dangerous, but I'd get to fly around like Iron Man.

Mark: I'm the first person to be alone on an entire planet.

- 4... 3...
- 2...
- 1.
- Liftoff.
- Good thrust.
- Performance is nominal.

- "We've been watching you since Sol 54.
- "The whole world is rooting for you.
- "Amazing job getting Pathfinder.
- "We're working on rescue plans.
- "Meantime, we're putting together a supply mission...
- "to keep you fed until Ares 4 arrives."

Mark: Who am I to talk about loneliness?

Mark: [after finding out the intercept distance is too far] Did you say 312? Yeah, I'll just wave to you guys as I go by.

- Let's wait it out.
- Let's wait it out.
- Commander?
- Prep emergency departure.
- Commander?
- We're scrubbed.
- That's an order.

- but the intercept velocity will be 42 meters per second.
- And that's way too fast.
- Then we'll have 39 minutes to figure out how to slow down.
- Martinez, burn the jets.
- Copy that.

- Oh!
- I can't get to you, Mark.
- You're too far.
- I'm not gonna make it.
- I know.
- Beck, unhook me.
- I'm going after him.
- Commander, I got this.

Rich: I'm gonna need more coffee
[trips over trash basket]

Teddy: If we are going to have a secret project called "Elrond", then I want my code name to be "Glorfindel".

- Strap in.
- Five, four... three...
- Brace for deceleration. two... one.
- Activating Panel 41.

Mark: [talking to himself] I'm sorry, Martinez, but if you didn't want me to go through your stuff, you shouldn't have left me for dead on a desolate planet.

- We're at 11.5 and holding.
- Ready to go on your command.
- Ready to launch.
- Commander.
- I need you to verbally tell me whether or not to.
- Launch.

- Rich, what the hell are you doing?
- I need you to get me some supercomputer time.
- When did you last sleep?
- It's important, Mike.
- All right,
- I'll do it.
- Good.

Vincent: How's he doing?
Mindy: Uh... He asked us to call him Captain Blondebeard.

- and they nearly burned down their dorm.
- And rather than expel them... they banished them to a nearby farm, told them to keep working.
- And now we have a space program.
- Okay.

Mark: All right, let me get a few things out of the way, right off the bat. Yes, I did in fact survive on a deserted planet by farming in my own shit. Yes, it's actually worse than it sounds. So, let's not talk about that ever again.

- I almost went down.
- Man.

- Is this the replica?
- This is her.
- Okay. Let's see it.
- Pathfinder.
- Pathfinder.

- F-word in gerund form.
- F-word, again,
- "is wrong with you?"
- "Mark, please watch your language.
- "Everything you type
- "is being broadcast live all over the world."
- Yeah?

- 32...
- 33...
- 34...
- 35, 36.
- Sweet and sour chicken.

- to do that.
- The point is...
- "stretch the rations four more days"... is a real dick-punch.
- I'm gonna dip this potato in some crushed Vicodin.
- And there's nobody who can stop me.

- Guys,
- I'm running the numbers, and even with optimal VAL blow... we're gonna be off on our angle.
- What's the intercept distance? Johanssen?
- 260 meters, approximate.
- That's too far.

Mark: In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option. I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.

- So I got to figure out a way to grow three years' worth of food here.
- On a planet where nothing grows.
- Luckily...
- I'm a botanist.
- Mars will come to fear my botany powers.

Beth: [kisses the visor of Beck's helm] Don't tell anyone I did that.

Mitch: He's not even got to the bad parts yet.
Vincent: Well, let's get to the bad parts.
Bruce: We need to remove the nose LR, the windows, and the whole of panel 19.
Vincent: You want to take the front of the ship off?
Bruce: Sure. The nose alone is four hundred kilograms.
Vincent: You want to send a man into space without the front of his ship?
Bruce: Well, no. We are going to have him cover it with HAB canvas. The hull is mostly there to keep air in. Mars' atmosphere is so thin, you do not need a lot of streamlining. By the time the ship is going fast enough for air resistance to matter, it'll be high enough that there will be practically no air.
Vincent: You want to send him into space under a tarp?
Bruce: Yes. Can I go on?
Vincent: [exasperated] NO!

Mark: [eating a potato] It has been *seven days* since I ran out of ketchup!

[last lines]
Mark: At some point, everything's gonna go south on you... everything's going to go south and you're going to say, this is it. This is how I end. Now you can either accept that, or you can get to work. That's all it is. You just begin. You do the math. You solve one problem... and you solve the next one... and then the next. And If you solve enough problems, you get to come home. All right, questions?

Mark: The other question I get most frequently is. When I was up there stranded by myself, did I think I was gonna die? Yes, absolutely. And that's one you need to know, going in, because it's gonna happen to you. This is space. It does not cooperate.

Mark: It's been 48 sols since I planted the potatoes. So now it's time to reap and re-sow. They grew even better than I expected. I now have 400 healthy potato plants. I dug them up being careful to leave their plants alive. The smaller ones I'll reseed, the larger ones are my food supply. All natural, organic, martian-grown potatoes. You don't hear that every day, do you? And by the way, none of this matters at all if I can't figure out a way to make contact with NASA.

- Vogel, you're Beck's backup.
- Everything goes well, you pull them on board with the tether.
- If anything goes wrong, you go out after him.
- Yep.
- Okay.
- Let's go get our boy.

[first lines]
Melissa: All right team, stay in sight of each other. Let's make NASA proud today.
Rick: How's it looking over there, Watney?
Mark: Well, you will be happy to hear that in Grid Section 14-28, the particles were predominately coarse but in 29, they're much finer and they should be ideal for chem analysis.
Rick: Oh, wow. Did everybody hear that? Mark just discovered dirt.
[laughs]
Rick: Should we alert the media?

- Worry about that later.
- What's the relative velocity?
- 12 meters per second.
- Copy.
- Hook me up.
- Done.

- You're in a hurry.
- Yeah.
- My son turned three yesterday.
- Should be pictures of the party.

- ...just how long
- Mark has been completely alone on Mars.
- We're talking to a psychology expert later to discuss...

- on my next transmission.
- I'm trying to figure out whether
- I should go with
- "High School Senior"... or "coquettish ingénue."
- But I'm not really sure how that's gonna look with my spacesuit on.

Teddy: [From Extended Version] I just had to explain to the President of the United States what a beaurocratic felcher is.
Mitch: I made the mistake of typing it into Google. Don't.

- This time, of course, we hope to bring all the astronauts back at the same time.
- Flight,
- Guidance check complete.
- Copy, Guidance.
- This is Flight.
- We are go for launch, on schedule.

Melissa: Let's go get our boy.

- L.O.S. here, too.
- U. S. Destroyer Stockton reporting debris falling from the sky.
- Everyone in the LCC, maintain your positions at your consoles.
- GC, lock the doors.

- Or like,
- "Are you kidding me?"
- I think it might be the second one.
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
- Could be the first way.
- "Are you kidding me?"
- Yeah, it could be the first way.

Mark: [From deleted scene] Every human being has a basic instinct: to help each other out. If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people will coordinate a search. If a train crashes, people will line up to give blood. If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world will send emergency supplies. This is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture without exception. Yes, there are assholes who just don't care, but they're massively outnumbered by the people who do. ~ Mark Watney, The Martian

- Main engine start.
- 7... 6... 5... 4... three... two... one.
- And liftoff.
- As the crew of the Ares 5... begin the next chapter of American space exploration.
- Pressures look good.

- and all we can do is point the camera.
- This won't exactly be an Algonquin Round Table of snappy repartee.
- Are you kidding me?
- Tim, Tim.
- Just point the camera.
- Roger that.
- Pointing the camera.

- Johanssen?
- Yeah.
- I know it's your private time.
- Can I bother you for a second?
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Where are you?
- The gym.

- Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this... and they can't until I'm on board the Ares 4.
- So that means I'm gonna be taking a craft over... in international waters without permission.
- Which, by definition, makes me a pirate.
- Mark Watney,
- Space Pirate.

- Okay.
- Okay.
- "Glad to hear it. Really looking forward to not dying."
- "How's the crew?"
- "What did they say when they found out I was alive?"

Mark: Fuck you Mars.

Mark: I'm not gonna die here.

- We'll open the outer door.
- I need you to place the charge on the inner door.
- Climb back to Airlock 2 along the hull.
- Copy. I'm on my way.
- I'm in, Commander.
- Copy that.

- that was here in '97.
- They're already here. Guys.
- I'd like to introduce
- Vincent Kapoor.
- Director of Mars Missions for NASA.
- This is our current team... and our original project members.

- While his loss will be deeply felt... the men and women of NASA will soldier forth... onward and upward in the mission of their agency.
- By doing so, they honor the legacy
- Mark's leaving behind... and they ensure his sacrifice will not be in vain.

- Hey!
- Oh, God.
- I can't believe it.
- There's a little smell going on over there, bud.
- I know. I haven't had a shower in a year and a half.
- Don't make me laugh,
- I have broken ribs.

- "Broadcasting status.
- "Listening for telemetry signal."
- Uh-huh.
- Okay. Signal acquired.
- All right.
- Okay.
- Camera.

- Anyone gets lost, hone in on my suit's telemetry.
- You ready?
- Ready.
- Commander, are you okay?
- I'm okay.

- Pressure stable.
- Staple came out.

Annie: But if something goes wrong?
Vincent: Then we lose the crew.
Bruce: So what, we either have a high chance of killing one person, or a low chance of killing six people. How do we make that decision?
Vincent: We don't.
[pointing to Teddy]
Vincent: He does.
Mitch: Yeah, bullshit. It should be Commander Lewis' call.
Teddy: We still have a chance to bring five astronauts home safe and sound. I'm not risking their lives.
Mitch: Let them make that decision.
Teddy: Mitch, we are going with option one.
Mitch: You god damn coward.

- Couldn't escape if I wanted to
- And you killed him.
- Try it again.
- Ooh, Waterloo
- Finally facing my Waterloo
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, Waterloo

Teddy: Every time something goes wrong, the world forgets why we fly.

Vincent: Mark, please watch your language. Everything you type is being broadcast live all over the world.
Mark: Yeah?
[he proceeds to swear even more]
Vincent: Oh my God...!

Mark: [after hearing he has to take the top off of the Mars Ascent Vehicle] I know what they're doing. I know exactly what they're doing. They just keep repeating "go faster than any man in the history of space travel", like that's a good thing. Like it'll distract me from how insane their plan is. Yeah, I get to go faster than any man in the history of space travel, because you're launching me in a convertible. Actually it's worse than that, because I won't even be able to control the thing. And by the way, physicists, when describing things like acceleration do not use the word "fast". So they're only doing that in the hopes that I won't raise any objections to this lunacy, because I like the way "fastest man in the history of space travel" sounds. I do like the way it sounds... I mean, I like it a lot.
[pauses]
Mark: I'm not gonna tell them that.

- I will burn through half my battery every day.
- If I do not use my heater,
- I will be... slowly killed by the laws of thermodynamics.
- I would love to solve this problem right now but unfortunately... my balls are frozen.
- I can't. I'm calling it.
- I'm calling it.

Mark: They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially colonized it. So, technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!

- "F, O."
- "7, W."

- 5.2 meters per second.
- Copy. Adjusting course.
- 3.1 meters per second.
- Distance to target, 24 meters.
- 11 meters to target.
- Six meters.

- "Every day,
- I go outside
- "and look at the vast horizons."
- "Just because I can."
- "Just because I can.
- "Tell the others
- I said hello."
- "Will do, buddy."

- Who also had copies of Zork II... and Leather Goddesses of
- Phobos on her personal laptop.
- Seriously, Johanssen... it's like the Smithsonian of loneliness on there.
- Not that I'm complaining.
- Yes!
- Who am I to talk about loneliness?

- Almost easier to what?
- I need more coffee.
- Ahh!
- Are you all right?
- It's fine.
- Almost easier to what?

- Okay. Mmm-hmm.
- Where's Watney?
- Uh...
- There.
- Okay.
- Okay. I know where he's going.
- I need to get on an airplane.

- There's a starman waiting in the sky
- He's told us not to blow it
- 'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile
- He told me
- Let the children lose it
- Let the children use it
- Let all the children boogie

- you shouldn't have left me for dead on a desolate planet.
- By the way, I'm figuring you're gonna be fine with this, given my present situation.
- What's everybody doing?
- Taking a holiday from being cool?
- Counting on you.

- helping me with this endeavor.
- And so far they've come up with...
- "Hey, why don't you drill holes
- "on the roof of your Rover...
- "and hit it as hard as you can with a rock?"
- We're gonna get there.

- Mark, report.
- On my way, Commander.
- Damn it.

- It should be
- Commander Lewis' call.
- We still have a chance to bring five astronauts home safe and sound.
- I'm not risking their lives.
- Let them make that decision.
- Mitch, we're going with option one.
- You goddamn coward.

Mark: I don't want to come off as arrogant here, but I'm the greatest botanist on this planet.

Mark: Hi, I'm Mark Watney and I'm still alive... obviously.

- Vincent, how are you?
- Good to see you.
- Good flight?
- Uh...
- Yeah.
- It's in storage just around the corner.

Mark: Welcome to the Astronaut Candidate Program. Now pay attention, because this could save your life. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Annie: I mean, what are we gonna say, "Dear America, remember that astronaut we killed and had a really nice funeral for? Turns out he's alive and we left him on Mars. Our bad. Sincerely, NASA". I mean, do you realize the shit storm that is about to hit us?

Mark: [listening to "Turn the beat around"] I am definitely gonna die up here if I have to listen to any more of Commander Lewis's god-awful disco music. My God, Commander, could you have not brought something from this century? No, I won't "turn the beat around," I refuse to.

- Oxygen level critical.
- Oxygen level critical.
- Oxygen level...

- Ares 6 could bring his body home.
- Now, we don't say that's the purpose of the mission... but we make it clear that that would be a part of it.
- We frame it that way.
- More support from Congress.
- But not if we wait a year.
- We wait a year, nobody gives a shit.

- Me?
- Yeah, you.
- Give me a sec.
- Just tell him.
- "We haven't told the crew you are alive yet.
- "We need them to concentrate on their mission."

- We need to tell the crew.
- You're bringing this up while
- Vincent is in Pasadena... so he can't argue the other side.
- I shouldn't have to answer to Vincent.
- Or anyone else.
- It's time, Teddy.

- You got it?
- Mmm.
- Make sure you're not in here when this thing goes off.
- Hey.
- Be careful out there.
- In space.
- Don't tell anyone
- I did that.

[text message from the Hermes]: Rich Purnell is a steely-eyed missile man!

- Fuck you, Mars.
- Johanssen, Jesus.

- Commander?
- Martinez, close the door.
- Open D3.
- And leave it open.

Tim: Okay he says "They don't know I'm alive? What the F word, F word in gerund form, F word again is wrong with you?"

- Hey, there.
- Morning, sir.
- It's an honor, sir.
- Sir.
- Sir.
- Sir.
- Morning, sir.

Mark: I've got to make a lot more water. The good thing is, I know the recipe: You take hydrogen, you add oxygen, and you burn. Now, I have hundreds of liters of unused hydrazine at the MDV. If I run the hydrazine over an iridium catalyst, it'll separate into N2 and H2. And then if I just direct the hydrogen into a small area and burn it. Luckily, in the history of humanity, nothing bad has ever happened from lighting hydrogen on fire.

- I just thought we'd all rather look at a black screen... instead of a vibrant red planet.
- Excuse me?
- Tim's our finest comm tech.
- We all appreciate his acerbic wit.
- I will kill you.

- so, yes.
- I vote yes.
- Let's go get him.
- Johanssen?
- Yes.
- Yeah!

- Well, technically, Mars would be under maritime...
- Yeah, I know.
- He explained it to us.
- Where is he?
- There.
- Okay.
- Here.
- Okay.

- I know I'll stay alive
- I've got all my life to live
- And I've got all my love to give
- And I'll survive
- I will survive
- Hey, hey

Mark: Tell Commander Lewis, disco sucks.

- Wow. Good shot.
- There you have it.
- Five years after the rescue of astronaut Mark Watney... an Ares 5 is on its way to Mars.

Mark: [after trying to make water by burning hydrogen] So, yeah, I blew myself up. Best guess, I forgot to account for the excess oxygen that I've been exhaling when I did my calculations because I'm stupid. I'm gonna get back to work here just as soon as my ears stop ringing.