The Best Andrew Koenig Quotes

Wally: Can I ask you something?
Off. Doug Penhall: Think you wanna take that chance?
Wally: I wanna make you a business proposition. I'll pay you $25 per week to be my bodyguard, and keep these guys from South Central off me.
Off. Doug Penhall: Go away!
Wally: Ok, 40 bucks! Alright, 75 dollars! Now, that is my allowance for the week! Look, my dad owns a stereo store. I can get you stuff for free if you want. C'mon man, they don't leave me alone! I don't even do anything!
Off. Doug Penhall: You got a problem with your hearing?

Eddie: Uhh umm uh, what's your dad's name bone ?
Richard: Sylvester.
Mike: Wait a minute... Your dad's name is Sylvester Stabone?
Richard: Who knew!

Coach: Why did these people give up all their things, and head west in covered wagons? Stabone.
Richard: 'Cause if they headed east, they would have drowned?

Principal: [Mr Dewitt is distributing the History test papers] All right, people. I trust you're all sufficiently frightened. If not, you should be. 'Cause this test will count for a quarter of your total grade.
Richard: [terrified] A quarter? Only yesterday he said twenty-five percent!

Richard: [Boner and Eddie come in after Mike's meeting with his teacher, and find Mike on the floor] He beat you!
Mike: No, he just took my shoes.
[Mike had the test answers written on the soles]
Eddie: Oh, that stinks, Mike.
Richard: [waving his hand under his nose, mocking] Yeah, real bad, too!

Richard: Mike, a voice just came out of the radiator and it sounded a lot like God
[referring to handyman working in the basement]
Mike: No, Boner, that's Jimmy
Richard: You call Him Jimmy?
Richard: [later]
[walks downstairs angrily]
Richard: Okay, what in the name of Jimmy is going on down here?

Jason: Boner, is your voice coming from your armpit?
Richard: Yes.