The Best Richard 'Boner' Stabone Quotes

Eddie: Uhh umm uh, what's your dad's name bone ?
Richard: Sylvester.
Mike: Wait a minute... Your dad's name is Sylvester Stabone?
Richard: Who knew!

Richard: Mike, a voice just came out of the radiator and it sounded a lot like God
[referring to handyman working in the basement]
Mike: No, Boner, that's Jimmy
Richard: You call Him Jimmy?
Richard: [later]
[walks downstairs angrily]
Richard: Okay, what in the name of Jimmy is going on down here?

Principal: [Mr Dewitt is distributing the History test papers] All right, people. I trust you're all sufficiently frightened. If not, you should be. 'Cause this test will count for a quarter of your total grade.
Richard: [terrified] A quarter? Only yesterday he said twenty-five percent!

Jason: Boner, is your voice coming from your armpit?
Richard: Yes.

Coach: Why did these people give up all their things, and head west in covered wagons? Stabone.
Richard: 'Cause if they headed east, they would have drowned?

Richard: [Boner and Eddie come in after Mike's meeting with his teacher, and find Mike on the floor] He beat you!
Mike: No, he just took my shoes.
[Mike had the test answers written on the soles]
Eddie: Oh, that stinks, Mike.
Richard: [waving his hand under his nose, mocking] Yeah, real bad, too!