150 Best Beka Valentine Quotes

Beka: Rommie, I can't believe that you're actually saying that the reason you look like a walking heart attack is for our benefit.
Rommie: I'm not sure what you mean.
Trance: All Beka's trying to say is that she thinks you're pretty.
Beka: No, no, no. I think you went a little overboard on the, uh, pouty lips.

Telemachus: So, this place we're going - sturdy, hardy, tests survival skills. I think I'm going to like it.
Beka: Clamp down on the Nietzschean observations, will you?

Pravarti: I don't think I was cut out for the family life, anyway. Staying at home with two co-wives and a dozen rugrats while some wannabe Alpha postures and preens? Shoot me now.
Beka: Can't. Fire control's offline.

Dylan: There's only one way to fight a superior opponent.
Fleet: Well, that I wouldn't know, I've never fought a superior opponent.
Dylan: Asymmetric warfare. It's an area denial strategy.
Beka: We're gonna carpet-bomb space?

Captain: I'm afraid there isn't much upside.
Beka: Okay, who are you and what have you done with the real Dylan Hunt? Do you remember Mister Help Thy Neighbour, Captain Idealism? That guy would have jumped at this.
Captain: Yes, well that guy didn't know the Magog were coming. See, now we have to temper our idealism with pragmatism. Prioritize.
Seamus: He kind of has a point there, Beka.
Captain: Thank you, Mr. Harper.
Beka: Okay, look, I-I see what you're saying, but those freighter pilots? I used to be one of them, hauling rocks from one end of the galaxy to another, just trying to make a living. They don't deserve to be shot at, and they certainly don't deserve to die.
Seamus: All right, Rommie, are you recording this? Because this is like Freaky Friday or something. It's like somebody reversed the polarity on your brain waves.
Captain: All right, all right, we'll go, and we'll see what we can do.

Beka: I'm sorry. This is just weird. Your ship's avatar is eloping.
Dylan: Oh, here's the happy groom now. I feel like I should've prepared a toast.
Beka: I think I got one. Here's to Gabriel. Be nice to Rommie, or I'll rip your head off.
Gabriel: If I let her down, I will rip it off myself.

Beka: Well, somehow, I don't think Tyr took all of our guns for Nietzschean show-and-tell.
Captain: With Tyr, you never know. Still, he's been gone a long time. I'm gonna go find him.
Beka: And if he's betraying us?
Captain: Then I'll be the first to know.

Beka: I'm terrified to ask, but Harper, what were you doing?
Seamus: Push-ups.
Dylan/Beka/Trance/Rommie: No push-ups!
Seamus: Enough with the micromanagement!

Trance: I found the rattle. If someone can pass me a hammer, I think I can fix it.
Beka: No!
Captain: Thank you. Just note it and we'll take care of it when we set down.
Trance: Noting it...

Telemachus: After you, O' Great One.
Beka: Knock that off.
Telemachus: What am I supposed to call you?

[last lines]
Beka: [referring to her brother] You are really something, Valentine.

[first lines]
[being chased and fired at by several ships]
Beka: Who the hell are these guys?
Captain: Nietzschean Pride markings. Tyr?
Tyr: That's Mandau Pride. They're parasites. Slavers.
Beka: I hate to break it to them,but I don't plan on spending the rest of my life in a uranium mine.

Captain: Beka? We figured out what Wezlow wanted you to find. It was some kind of bell.
Beka: If that's supposed to ring a bell, it doesn't. Sorry.

Beka: Oh, man. A year ago, I was running spare parts from Canopy to San-Ska-Re, and now... I'm sitting in the middle of the apocalypse.
Andromeda: Well, on the bright side, the Worldship is heading toward the known worlds, anyway. Before, you just didn't know about it. At least this way you can face it head-on.
Beka: That was such a warship thing to say.

Captain: Promise me... no matter what happens, you'll continue the mission.
Beka: Yeah, see, that's why you have to survive. I'm not really qualified to restart the Commonwealth.
Captain: Neither am I. But that hasn't stopped me.
Beka: Dylan... I may like your idea, but I really don't know if it's possible. For anyone. The odds...
Captain: To hell with the odds. All that matters in life, is that we try... Promise you'll try.
Beka: Promise.

Beka: Yeah, so how did we get into this mess? Who started it? It couldn't have been Tyr alone, or just the Nietzscheans.
Trance: The universe is just too big for it to have simply been them.
Seamus: All right, I, for one, don't want to talk about it anymore, okay? And I particularly don't want to talk about the lovable, absentee, not so young and restless Nietzschean you know who.

Captain: Now we have to convince Calleb to hand over File D willingly.
Beka: And how are we going to do that?
Captain: Outsmart him?
Beka: I hate it when we have to outsmart Nietzscheans. It's even more exhausting than beating them up.
Captain: Yeah, but it's a lot less painful.

Beka: Trance? Trance!
Andromeda: She has no life signs, Beka.
Beka: You say that like it matters.

Captain: But when the shooting starts, you're gonna have to trust me.
Beka: I'm not big on trust.
Captain: Then it's time to learn.

Beka: So, now might be the time for one of those blunt but truthful Nietzschean comments.

[first lines]
Seamus: [reading] "I know I'm supposed to meet you at Yoso Drift..." Here it comes. She met a guy. "But that was before I found out the mandelbrots are spawning on Onithone."
Beka: Ah, Trance and her pets.
Seamus: [reading] "It only happens once a century, so I thought you might understand."
Beka: Once a century? Wow, they get less action than you, Harper.

Seamus: It's not that easy, Trance. Three spiral galaxies, dozens of galactic clusters. There's gotta be hundreds of prison planets.
Andromeda: Three hundred and forty eight, to be exact.
Trance: Really... What about that one.
Beka: Why? Why that one?
Trance: Well, it's... pretty.
Tyr: It's pretty. Now there's a solid reason to risk our lives.
Seamus: You have a better idea?
Tyr: No.

[commenting on the incoming Magog worldship]
Rommie: Before you didn't know about it. Now you're facing it head-on.
Beka: That is such a warship thing to say.

Captain: Prepare to fire on... me.
Beka: Firing. You know, someone is going to great and obvious lengths to make a point.
Captain: Oh, I get the point. And I get the message. Someone wants us to go in a different direction.

[last lines]
Beka: We're not saluting you, and we're not calling you Captain.
Captain: Dylan. Dylan will be fine.

Beka: Trance, I need you. Dylan needs you. Trance? Trance?
[grabs and squeezes her tail]
Beka: Trance!
Trance: Ah! Oh! The tail!
Beka: Oh, good. You're up.

Beka: You're all heart, Hsigo. What'd Ortiz ever do to you?
Hsigo: The worst thing someone can do. She gave me hope. Seven years of my life I gave her, in the Alliance Self-Defence forces. We fought the Kalderans to the very end. But what'd it get me? Dead friends, a busted face, and a nothing job on a dead planet. You know the worst part? I didn't even know what she looked like. Our great leader, and I didn't even recognise her when I was right next to her.
Beka: I understand you better than you think. No one made you fight for Ortiz or the Alliance. That was your call. Yes, she might have given you hope, but if you didn't want it so bad, you wouldn't have fought so hard. You shouldn't blame Ortiz for what happened to you. You should thank her.

Beka: Your destiny, Right. Never mind she couldn't speak a word of Common, and you don't speak Celtic or, whatever that dead language is.
Harper: Oh yeah? Try me. Uh... Bra ist un caparu. Love is our language.
Beka: Actually, love is your sandwich, but thanks for playing.

Beka: Look, why don't you go outside and play while mommy and daddy talk, okay?
Seamus: Fine, fine! If you think you can steal a hundred Nietzschean surface to air missiles and not get stopped, don't let me interrupt.
Beka: Surface-to-air missiles?
Seamus: Yeah, what? What did you think was in those crates?
Beka: Computers. I was told we were carrying computers.
Seamus: Okey dokie, I guess I'd better be going now.

Seamus: Maybe I won't own an entire planet inhabited solely by women. It's unnecessary and too much responsibility. Besides, they'll be all over me anyway with that treasure.
Beka: If it's gems, I say we keep the best and sell the rest.
Seamus: Now, that's thinking. What a kick, huh? Hidden treasure, power sucking moons, hungry Magog. It's like bedtime stories my Nana told me.

Seamus: That's their Hail To The Chief? It's sounds more like a tuna with a toothache.
Rommie: It works better underwater. Protocol. Remember, the Castalian dignitaries have musical cues for everything. Music for entering a room, for leaving a room, for proposing a toast. And while they're on this ship, we have to respect their traditions. The Castalian Republic is progressive, peaceful, and stable. If they sign the Commonwealth Charter, they provide us with instant credibility.
Beka: And we provide them with the services of the toughest warship in the known universe.
Rommie: Flatter me all you want. You still have to wear the dress.

Uncle: Tell me about Ignatius. I'm-I'm really sorry that I missed his funeral.
Beka: You didn't miss much. Eject cargo pod, yes, no?

Beka: That's impossible. Tell me that's impossible!
Andromeda: I don't know. I just... don't know.
Trance: It's not impossible, it's just really unfair.

Beka: He's good. Quick on the uptake, smart, completely fearless. He reminds me of...
Seamus: You... He reminds you of you.
Beka: Then I know I can't trust him.

Beka: Parlays away, Tyr. This bogey is hostile. Target its vulnerable spots. It does have vulnerable spots, right?
Rommie: Beats me.
Harper: Beats me? Two words I never expected to hear from a warship with a brain your size.

Beka: You know, if you don't want me to go, why don't you just say so?
Captain: I don't want you to go.
Beka: Damn. I didn't think you'd just say so.

Seamus: So, road to Grunswick, I'm on foot, guy comes along in a cart, offers me a ride.
Beka: Sembler?
Seamus: No. I say, sure, why not? I've got a bone spur on my foot. It's kind of gross. You want to see?
Trance: Oh, no.

Beka: Authorization code "shut up and do what I tell you."
Maru: Authorization confirmed.

Beka: I could say talks with the fish people are floundering... but that would be wrong.

Telemachus: No farewell words of biting sarcasm?
Beka: Every now and then, you go to a wedding that doesn't suck.
Telemachus: Hmm, sounds like you've forgiven her.
Beka: I'll never forgive her. She got tired of playing house and went back to the really fun toys, power and money. Leaving seven year old me and my dad to fend for ourselves. When we left, she probably never even noticed. Probably still hasn't.
Telemachus: I was talking about the bride, Aleiss.
Beka: I wasn't.

Beka: You could get the Maru for me?
Captain: Okay, if you'd prefer that to a starship that has the power to hold a government moon hostage in exchange for whatever your rebel heart desires?
Beka: The Maru, any day.
Captain: At least some things stay the same.

Beka: The legend talks about a whirling guardian of the sanctum.
Trance: Well, that is definitely whirling.
Beka: So this must be the sanctum.
Trance: So that's good.
Beka: Yeah.
Captain: Yeah, good. This is just fantastic.

Beka: They've stopped shooting.
Seamus: Yeah, they've probably gone to get bigger guns.

Leydon: Oh, don't tell me.
Beka: I'm afraid of heights.
Leydon: You can't be afraid of heights. You're a pilot. You live in heights.
Beka: I live in space. You fall in space, you keep falling. There's nothing to splat on.

Andromeda: File D has a homing signal. The Magog have picked it up, and they're following it.
Beka: Dylan, they're targeting the drone.
Captain: What, they're going to detonate it?
Andromeda: It's a suicide mission.
Captain: You know, Magog are the polar opposite of Nietzscheans.

Beka: [referring to the Maru] Hey, Rhade, don't ding it up!
Telemachus: How could you tell?
Beka: [stroking the Maru] He didn't mean that.

[first lines]
[Beka exercising with weights]
Tyr: No touching.
[Beka lifts the weights and they clang together]
Tyr: Beka, how many times do I need to remind you about your form? Now, don't clang the weights.
Beka: Sorry.

Seamus: No, no, no, no, no.
Captain: Well, there's got to be an explanation, Harper. Maybe it's one of the new crew members.
Seamus: No.
Beka: Why can't it be a crew member?
Seamus: For the tenth time, no.
Tyr: That was nine.
Seamus: All right, all right. Now, just listen, okay? It's a face I've never seen before, nor care to ever see again. Besides, it was in the wall. New crew members don't hang out in walls. People don't hang out in walls. You know what hangs out in walls?
Captain: Mr. Harper, you're tired.
Seamus: All right. For the eleventh time, no.
Tyr: That was ten.

Rommie: Our problem is with our other allies: Castalia, Moebius, Sintii... They're not exactly superpowers. I'm Dylan's only real military asset.
Beka: One he can't afford to lose.
Rommie: Mmmhmm.
Beka: Unfortunately, Dylan gave Charlemagne and the Jaguars his word, and that's the one thing he's got that's even less expendable than you.

Beka: Sheesh, some people's kids. Remind me never to have my own.
Captain: I never knew you wanted any.
Beka: I don't. Just in case I ever get soft and weepy, slap me... hard.

Rommie: In the Commonwealth, artificial intelligences had all the rights and privileges of any other citizen. I was an equal.
Beka: Yeah, well, that was then, this is now. Some places, they worship androids, and some places, they melt them down.
Rommie: Gabriel prefers synthetic life form.
Beka: Gabriel prefers? Yeah, I think I get it. Rommie has a crush on the new guy.
Rommie: It's not like that. Gabriel is a unique opportunity. The first chance I've had to interface with one of my own...
Beka: Interface? Hmm. I've never heard it put quite that way before.

Beka: You always say that about orbital habitats. You'd rather walk on dirt, I suppose?
Seamus: I prefer the term soil. Rich, moist. Visualize, Beka: the green hills of Earth, purple mountains majesty, and waving fields of grain.
Beka: Rain, mud, unfiltered air, Magog raids. Thanks, I'll take a nice artificial gravity field.
Seamus: We have nothing in common. Why do I worship you?
Beka: Uncharacteristic bout of good taste.

Pravarti: I was hoping we could resolve this before things got nasty.
Beka: Things got nasty when you tried to blow an unarmed ship out of the sky.
Pravarti: Well then, I guess we'll see who's the better mechanic. Good luck to you, honestly.
Beka: "Honestly."

Beka: So why is it that whenever anyone goes on a suicide mission, they take my ship?
Captain: [sighs] Because it has seat-belts.

Beka: Oh, she didn't salute. Shouldn't she salute?
Captain: Well, I'm thinking that maybe she went to the Beka Valentine School of Military Discipline.

Trance: He's coming to.
Beka: Good. What the hell did you do to my ship?
Captain: It's good to see you too.

Captain: Open the pod bay doors.
Beka: I just want you to know that I have the greatest enthusiasm for this mission.

Captain: Come about Zero-Four-Niner and slow to three quarters.
Beka: Coming about Zero...
Captain: Now hard left, ninety degrees positive, all ahead full.
Beka: This must be the old nauseate-your-enemy ploy.
Captain: Keep it up. Random speed, heading, and attitude changes. I want Andromeda bucking like a drunken Vedran with a Nightsider on it's back.
Beka: Sounds like my last date.
Captain: You can tell us about that later.

[first lines]
Rommie: [trying on clothes] I don't know, Trance. I just don't really think it's me.
Trance: Don't you want to look good?
Rommie: Well, only in so far as it aids my official functions.
Beka: So your other outfits are, uh, supposed to be functional?
Rommie: Well, they're all approved variations of High Guard officer's uniforms.
Beka: Female officer's uniforms. Very female.

Harper: Miracle, shmiracle. All I know is if my main squeeze, assuming I ever get one, wanted to save me from a black hole? Doomed or not, I wouldn't stand in her way.
Beka: Maybe. But we know Sarah's plan didn't work. If it did, we wouldn't be here right now. What happened in the past happened. Dylan wasn't saved. His ship was still here 300 years later when we rescued him. And nothing Sarah's planning can change that.
Harper: All that work, and he's still not gonna get to first base... Wait a second. Maybe he can. Call me the love god, baby! Give me an hour, and then tell Dylan to meet me in the hangar deck.

Beka: Dylan, really, why do you think I'm here? I mean, you won't let me use Andromeda for running cargo. I'm not allowed to mine. God knows you're not paying me. I like your whole idea of the Commonwealth, but do you really think that's the only thing that's keeping me around?
Captain: I prefer to.
Beka: Come on, Dylan. Your entire crew has an ulterior motive. Rev Bem wants to use your Commonwealth to spread his faith. Harper is in lust with your ship. Tyr's always plotting something, and God only knows what, uh, the purple one's up to. Does it really surprise you to find out that I'm no different?

Beka: Um, where'd you get all the candles?
Tyr: I rendered them from the fat of my enemies.

Dylan: There are 10,000 insane surfers out there?
Beka: And ours is one of the craziest.

Beka: Interesting weather we're having.
Captain: Oh yeah, it's a lot of fun.

Captain: You're right, Mr. Harper. We need action, and plenty of it. Speaking of action...
Beka: I was hoping you could join me later this evening for some nice Korret bird steaks - after you've quashed the tri-galaxy rebellion, of course. Hmm, shiny, let's say at about six?
Captain: Well, actually, it's more like twelve, but I'll be there at five.

Andromeda: What happened to the good old days when ships just broadsided one another?
Beka: The steam engine was invented?

Beka: He was making a joke. You got to know about jokes. You are one.

Beka: I'm glad you came.
Secretary: Huh, I wouldn't miss it; that is, if you actually are Beka Valentine.
Beka: All right, I deserved that.
Secretary: After deceiving me and making me look like a complete idiot for supporting a new Commonwealth? You're damn right.

Beka: You were right.
Captain: I'm the skipper, I'm always right.
[Beka gives him a look]
Captain: Except when I'm... wrong.
Beka: How can you tell the difference?
Captain: Usually, I wait for my first officer to give ma a swift kick in the head.
Beka: Oh. I might be able to help you there.

Beka: Yuck! I hate planets. How could anyone live like this?
Trance: Well, didn't your people evolve on a planet?
Beka: Yeah, the smart ones left, as soon as they got a chance.

[last lines]
Beka: I don't like threats.
Gerentex: Neither do I. Which is why I brought him along.
[door opens and Tyr walks in]
Tyr: I'll take it from here.

Beka: Where did you get all the candles?
Tyr: I rendered them from the fat of my enemies.

Tyr: My people have a legend about the Battle of Witchhead. They say the Nietzschean forces arrived here with overwhelming numbers. Their victory seemed assured. But then, in the critical hour, the Angel of Death appeared, summoning forth the fires of Hell. The Nietzschean fleet was struck down, crippled, their glorious victory turned to ashes.
Beka: You knew all along?
Tyr: I've never seen an Angel before.

Captain: You know, there's just one problem. The Engine of Creation is a myth. It's like the Holy Grail of ancient Earth, or the Wyverni hordes of Gehenna-Mortis.
Beka: Or a restored Commonwealth.
Captain: Ha, ha. No, that's not funny.

Harper: We shared this thing, this, um, cosmic connection.
Beka: You shared half a dozen whiskeys and a zero-gravity rhumba.

Beka: Can I say it? Let's bring it.
Dylan: No, a little louder, more intense.
Beka: LET'S BRING IT!

Trance: She can't tell you.
Beka: Why? Why can't I tell him?
Trance: Because if you tell him, Tyr will die.
Tyr: Then by all means leave me in suspense.

Captain: Trust me.
Seamus: Oh, we trust you. You feel guilty for leaving the Orca homeless. You want to turn foes into friends. You're a nice guy, but Tyr?
Beka: Tyr only helps those who help Tyr, and suddenly now he needs to save a Pride who swore to kill him?
Captain: The only person Tyr wants to save is his wife.
Seamus: What?
Andromeda: Approaching the slipstream portal.
Seamus: Who the hell would marry Tyr?
Captain: Beka?
Beka: Slipping.

Captain: To the victor goes the spoils. That's if you're serious about returning the Commonwealth to its true values.
Beka: I've risked my life for it a thousand times over.
Captain: Good. Once we're airborne, we'll have full tactical advantage, and then we'll be the ones calling the shots.
Beka: I'm almost willing to believe you are the real Dylan Hunt. Just one thing: I'm not saluting you, and I'm not calling you Captain.
Captain: Why should it be any different here?

Beka: That's the last time I go to the mat for you guys. "Dependency is weakness, weakness is death." You know what, Tyr? You know what? I got two words for you, un, Anabolic, uh, Steroids! Oh, yeah, I forgot.
[chuckles]
Beka: You're Mister Pure and Natural, aren't you? Yeah, you're, uh, too good for human women, that's for sure.
Andromeda: Beka, is there anything you need?
Beka: Yeah, uh, a door key.
Andromeda: I was thinking more along the lines of a light supper.

Beka: I don't mean to be negative, but there are an awful lot of them.
Tyr: Consider this: it's either the end of it all, or you'll have a magnificent tale to tell your children.
Beka: I've got plenty of stories, thanks. Speaking of kids, we should talk about that.

Zara: Ask yourself this question, Lach. How far will your venomous deceit take you before you die? And that will be soon.
Lach: I will live long enough to see your miserable end.
Captain: All right, all right, all right. Okay, I told you: fight and you get the naughty card.
Lach: Infidel!
Zara: Nonbeliever!
Beka: This is going well.

Trance: His choices led him to this destiny.
Beka: Or I got a little carried away.
Trance: A little.

Seamus: You're doing Flash. I don't believe it. Flash? Beka, come on. You know what that stuff does to people. People kill over that stuff, their family and friends. Did you know that 82% of people on prison planets are Flash addicts?
Beka: Do you know what? They tell you that kind of stuff just to scare you.
Seamus: Sure, to scare you out of killing your neighbors.
Beka: Look, I'm not gonna pretend this crap is good for me. I know first-hand what Flash can... I'm using miniscule doses. For a limited time. It's medicine, and it's working. You saw, you heard what Dylan said.
Seamus: If it's such good medicine, why don't you tell Dylan?
Beka: Because Dylan is Dylan. Dylan wouldn't cheat on his FTA dues. Besides, it's none of his business what I put in my bloodstream.

Beka: So, apparently my wish is Andromeda's command. I could make her sing I'm A Little Teapot if I wanted to.
Tyr: Did you?
Beka: More to the point, I ordered her to blind her internal sensors to Cargo Bay 11, and then forget all about it. Who knew A.I. command protocols could be so useful?
Tyr: Bay 11. I'll tell our friends to move their souvenirs.
Beka: Great. You know we're going straight to hell for this.

[last lines]
Beka: I wish you could have met him, Trance.
Trance: Yeah, me too. But you know, that's okay because... I know his daughter... Blood of his blood, Beka.
Beka: Blood of his blood.

Seamus: Uh, Dylan, you're not gonna believe this!
Beka: Oh, no. You're not gonna confess again, are you?
Seamus: I'll resent that tomorrow, but for now, excuse me. Check this out.

Trance: Beka. Beka, are you all right? What did they do to you?
Beka: Nothing. I walked into a door.
Trance: Well then, please sit down.
[Beka sits]
Trance: Good girl. Stay.
[Trance goes and gets a bottle of alcoholic drink]
Beka: Oh, Trance, I'm not really in the mood for a cocktail right now.
Trance: Disinfectant. So did you tell the door what it wanted to know?

HG: I've never traveled in this manner before. I've never done anything before.
Beka: Yeah, well, uh, we've got three jumps and some sub-light haulings, so I'd say, a, um, couple of hours, at least.
HG: A couple of hours. You organics live with such imprecision. It must be very exhilarating.
Beka: Yeah, it's non-stop excitement.

Beka: Positive Mental Attitude my Perky Mortal Ass.

Captain: I'll be fine. What about the others?
Beka: I'll check. Just hold still. You're, uh, you're dripping on my ship.

Captain: Beka, course laid in for Coolidge?
Beka: You bet you.
Cuatemoc: Coolidge? Impossible. You'll be torn to shreds. Trying to run through there is suicide.
Captain: You didn't talk to Cuchulain about me before you had him executed, did you? No? Well that's too bad. I wonder who's next in line.

Beka: Yeah, well, these kids are very in touch with their inner savage.

Captain: I should have killed him, but I couldn't. And he should have killed me, but he couldn't. I knew he couldn't. Looking in his eyes, I knew.
Beka: Maybe you have something he wants.
Captain: Or maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he really is Admiral Stark.

Seamus: Sorry, Beka, it didn't work.
Beka: What do you mean, it didn't work? It worked before. I saw it.
Seamus: Yes, but... The teleport won't function properly if we don't know Dylan's exact location. Believe me, I tried. We played hide-and-go-teleport with one of Trance's fish in Hydroponics.
Beka: And?
Trance: Tuna tartare.

[first lines]
Rommie: Captain on deck!
Beka: I'll alert the media.
Trance: It means we're supposed to stand at pretention.
Captain: At ease, Trance. I think it's a little late in the game to restore the military protocols.

Trance: He's dying.
Captain: Damn. It should've been hours before anyone started feeling the effects.
Beka: If he was a good little citizen of the Commonwealth, I'm sure he'd be fine. Harper was raised in a refugee camp. He's got a dodgy immune system at the best of times. He sure can't stand up to this radiation bath you've got us soaking in.
Captain: How long before his condition becomes irreversible?
Trance: Four hours, maybe less.
Seamus: Ooo, shiny.

Andromeda: I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Captain: I didn't authorize any bad news.
Beka: I'll file a reprimand.

Pravarti: I've enjoyed talking to you, Beka. I won't insult you by asking for your surrender. If you want, I can relay any last messages you have for your friends or family. Is there anything that you'd like to say to them?
Beka: Yes.
["Fire Control On Line"]
Beka: I'm sorry.

Able: I admire your courage, but if we all die here, nothing I have done will have mattered. And I can't have your death on my conscience.
Beka: Don't worry, neither can I.

Rommie: I'm detecting 13 battle cruisers and 11 Geruda class fighters.
Captain: Nietzscheans.
Rommie: Drago-Kazov.
Seamus: Whoa, that's my dream. That was my dream! Back when we agreed to escort this lousy Commonwealth convoy deep into the DMZ, we were ambushed by Nietzscheans.
Beka: Hey, dreamweaver! Before you go all Trance on us, this is not an ambush. That's Nietzschean-on-Nietzschean action.

Beka: That was almost too easy... Yep, I knew that was too easy.

Dylan: So, your, uh, brother's a... Brother.
Beka: If Rafe Valentine's a monk, I'm a Vestal virgin.

Tyr: This is a farce. The captain's plan is killing us. I can feel my DNA being shredded molecule by molecule.
Beka: Well, look on the bright side. Maybe some stray cosmic ray will zap just the right gene and give your children some killer mutation that will make all the other Nietzscheans weep with envy.

Beka: And then, in walked Merlin, only he looked exactly like Andromeda.
Captain: Oh, lucky him.
Beka: Andromeda the ship, not the persona.
Captain: Ah.
Beka: But wearing a big, pointy hat.

Beka: So, what you're saying is that you randomly chose a bunch of, uh, human female features. You mixed them all up and, uh... this was the first face that you came up with?
Rommie: I may have experimented with a few options.
Beka: Define "a few".
Rommie: One hundred and seventy thousand, eight hundred and ninety four.
Beka: I knew it!

Saphia: Oh, all of this, for me - I'm not worth it.
Captain: Your friends seem to think you are. Maybe it's time you proved them right.
Beka: Dylan, we're just about ready to go. Well, it's been real, it's been fun, but I can't say I...
Captain: Beka.
Beka: Right, I'll prep the Maru.

Trance: What if they're not decoys?
Beka: When we get to the Pearly Gates, make sure everyone lines up behind Rev. You've got spin control.
Rev: I'll see what I can do.

Rommie: It's depressing seeing myself in this condition again.
Beka: You've seen worse.
Rommie: Yes, but it's the repetition of being shot at that I find so annoying. I would like just *one* day where I build missiles and tweak fire control in peace.
Beka: We definitely need to find *you* a hobby.
Rommie: THAT IS MY HOBBY!

[first lines]
Beka: That's Schopenhauer and Enkindu.
Captain: Six down, forty-four to go.

Dylan: Well, Harper always says that opposites attract.
Beka: That's just his excuse to meet women. Everyone's the opposite of Harper.
Dylan: That's true.

[first lines]
Rommie: Trance says the relief supplies are ready for transport, and Tyr's security squads and the volunteers from the Drift are on board.
Captain: Good.
Beka: Good news and bad news from the Pythians. The good news is that the earthquakes from the comet strike have stopped. The bad news is that the entire planet is now shrouded in dust. Anyone who wasn't starving is now freezing to death.

Beka: It stopped. Looks like someone deactivated the defense system.
Captain: [on comm] Eureka Maru, you are clear to land.
Tyr: Dylan.
Beka: You know, I'm starting to like that guy.

Beka: What do you know? I'm all better.

Secretary: I'm sorry I can't help you.
Beka: Okay, maybe I should speak to the Councillor directly.
Secretary: Do you have an appointment?
Tyr: We don't make appointments.
Secretary: Councillor Min doesn't talk to anyone without an appointment.
Beka: I am standing at the helm of a High Guard battleship orbiting your planet. Two words from me and a barrage of kinetic warheads will blast you, Councilor Min, and three generations of Erasians back to the Stone Age.
Secretary: I think you still need an appointment.

Beka: Trance, you will never guess who I just met.
Trance: A scary futuristic version of yourself? She went that way!

Beka: We're at the drop point.
Captain: Looks like your stop.
The: I'd wish you luck, but...
Captain: Yes, I know, you don't believe in it.
[to self]
Captain: Neither do I.

Beka: Well, all cliches of human females aside, I've never been late for a date - even a bad one... Which, come to think of it, is practically all of them.
Telemachus: I've heard...

Beka: Besides which, the Maru is not just a ship. It's my livelihood. It's the hospital where I was born. I opened Christmas presents in the airlock when I was a kid. And after the Salvage Guild's debutante ball, it's where I lost my...
Tyr: Can we concentrate on training, please?

Beka: Who would be stupid enough to raid a Calderan ship? Calderans are vicious, brutal, no sense of humor.

Trance: Surrender, surrender. All his messages are the same. He sounds like an evil parrot.
Seamus: I can't believe I'm going to die at the hands of converging red blips.
Beka: Wait a second. I think you two might be on to something. Rommie, scan all of Cuchulain's messages for the background noise.
Rev: You don't think he...

Andromeda: Harper, you wanted to know when Doyle's signal reappeared. It has, on Seefra Five.
Beka: Seefra Five? I don't think so...
Seamus: Thank you, Andromeda.
[to Beka]
Seamus: I want her to feel included.

Captain: Do you regret it? Signing aboard with me?
Beka: And risking my life? Battling Nietzscheans and Restors and Magog and half the lunatics in the galaxy? All for a cause that's been dead for over three hundred years. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. And risking my life? Battling Nietzscheans and Restors and Magog and half the lunatics in the galaxy? All for a cause that's been dead for over 300 years... I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Telemachus: Beka, you've got to finish with style.
Beka: Style's not my style.

Telemachus: They've kept us alive: merciful and incompetent.
Beka: Really? Is now the time for insults?
Captain: Well, I always wanted you two to bow down before me.

Beka: Trance?
Trance: [as the future Trance] Beka... I forgot how beautiful you were.
Beka: Er, thanks.

Beka: [Speaking about Shig and Lipp-Sett] Hard to believe they dressed themselves!

Captain: All right, then let's mobilize. Tyr, Rev, fix the engines. Cannibalize parts if you have to. Beka, you and I will take...
Beka: Yeah. My first job is to repair your forehead.
Captain: I'll be fine.
Beka: Yeah, okay, tough guy.

Elssbett: If you've finished saying goodbye to your lover, I'm ready to leave.
Captain: [chuckles] She is not my...
Beka: Oh
[sighs]
Beka: , why hide it?
[kisses Hunt, to Elssbett]
Beka: Just remember. He's pretty to look at, lovely to hold, but if you break him, we consider him sold.
[to Dylan]
Beka: Take care, sweetie.

Beka: Next time I tell you about a derelict High Guard ship... tell me to go away.
Captain: You were just trying to help. And I guess I was just trying to recapture the past.
Beka: Yeah, well, you had it good back then. Mission briefs highlighted in three colours, smiles and spit-shines, saluting. If I'd grown up with that, I'd probably want it back, too.

Trance: In a few hours, we can add Seefra Two and Methus Two to the list.
Beka: Yes, well, it may all be part of some grand design, but it's still bloody tragic.
Trance: They did the job.
Andromeda: And they say inorganics lack emotion.
Doyle: Speak for yourself.
Andromeda: I wasn't.

Seamus: How is the bug?
Beka: The Than. Try to be polite to our guest.
Trance: She should be clicking and popping by the end of the week. Why do you ask?

[first lines]
Beka: Andromeda, this is the Eureka Maru en route from Drift Colony Segas 4. Our belly's full, and our ETA to bay is 20 minutes.

Beka: Careful, Harper. That is one of Trance's plants.
Harper: I know.
Beka: She loves them.
Harper: I know.
Beka: She gives them names.
Harper: Trust in the Harper. The Harper is good. It goes in here...
[press a button to activate the transporter]
Harper: ... and it comes out there.
[the plant appears to transport but then explodes]
Beka: I believe she called that one... Walter.

Rafe: For a fossilized High Guard Officer, your Dylan Hunt is one devious human being.
Beka: I knew you'd like him.

Seamus: All right. You wanna know what I think?
Beka: Oh, good. Now for another chapter in The World According to Seamus Harper.
Seamus: Hey, my favourite book. Chapter 12, Paragraph 8, Verse 3. The universe hates you. Deal with it.
Beka: That's comforting.
Seamus: ll right. Remember when we heisted those grav speeders on Infinity Atoll, took 'em for a spin?
Beka: Yeah, sure.
Seamus: Well, the thing that I remember most about those eggbeaters was, I'd be whipping along, and every once in a while I'd hit a swarm of bugs. Poor little bastards just minding their own business, not doing anything wrong, and a little bit of bad timing on their part, and splat, all over the windshield.
Beka: Tragic.
Seamus: Damn straight. The thing is, as far as the universe is concerned, we're all bugs, just hopping along, loving life, until one day fate decides to introduce each and every single one of us to our very own, personalised windscreen. So yeah, maybe Dylan is crazy. Maybe he doesn't have a chance in *hell* of rebuilding the Commonwealth. And maybe one day something will come along and splat him too. But we're all gonna get splat eventually.
Beka: Yeah, but you forgot one thing. Dylan is not flying around minding his own business. He's looking for windscreens.
Seamus: Right. But with us on his side, he might just be the only bug alive tough enough to blast right through.

Beka: So, uh, counting to three... kind of tells them when to shoot.

Seamus: I'm telling ya, the guy is huge. He's like... some kind of Greek god or something.
Beka: Still, there's only one of him.
Seamus: Yeah, but nobody said anything about *taking* this ship away from anybody, especially somebody so big. It's supposed to be abandoned.
Beka: Yeah, but if it wasn't for us, he'd still be stuck in that black hole. I think he owes us.

Trance: I have another squadron rapidly approaching.
Beka: Thanks for the good news.
Trance: That was a necessary negative assessment.
Beka: Well, let's try to accentuate the positive, shall we?
Trance: They will soon destroy the Andromeda?
Beka: Okay, thanks for trying.

Beka: Life signs?
Andromeda: Potentially one.
Beka: Potentially?
Andromeda: It is very weak.

Tyr: It was all right.
Beka: All right? Tyr, whatever you're going through, fight through it.
Captain: Let's suit up and try one for real.
Beka: Are you kidding? We'll kill him.

Rommie: The enemy destroyer was eliminated, but Castalian casualties are still high. Five of their ships are down. The planet was bombarded. Estimated civilian casualties: five million.
Beka: That's a lot of sushi.
Dylan: It's not funny, Beka.
Beka: Looked pretty darned funny from here.
Dylan: Look, if you're all finished insulting our allies, might I remind you that the point of these training exercises is to improve their morale, not destroy it.
Seamus: Look, Dylan, if you think Aquaman and the Silver Surfer here are going to help you stop the Magog, you may as well start basting yourself with steak sauce now and avoid the rush.

Jonah: I mean, with your ship and my network, we would crush the competition and achieve a complete monopoly. And that's not even considering the expansion that slipstream would have to offer.
Beka: Wow, that's quite the trip, if power's your thing.
Jonah: And if it's money, and all the comforts that money can buy? It's a round trip. You would never want for anything for the rest of your life. Shall our toast begin the journey?

Beka: And they're really annoying.
Captain: I like them.
Beka: Yeah, but you like everyone. Even people who try to kill you. Especially people who try to kill you... *Dylan*.
Captain: [distracted] Hmm.
Beka: Hi. I'm Beka Valentine, your first officer?
Captain: Sorry. I just... wanna get Höhne's blessing for the new Commonwealth charter, then go away from here.
Beka: The black hole.
Captain: I never wanna see it again. That thing didn't just swallow my ship, it swallowed my life.

Beka: Is that what it was? A game?
Leydon: Wasn't it?
Beka: Yeah. Sure.
Leydon: Smile. Well done.
Beka: Leydon? Maybe we'll play again some time.
Leydon: Yeah, maybe.

[last lines]
Beka: So, Tyr. Are you ever going to tell me what we're transporting, here?
Tyr: Something that belongs to me. Something that's belonged to me all along.

Beka: Great, now even the fish people are after us.

Beka: Harper, come on. We're friends. We have no secrets.
Seamus: Oh. Okay. What's your natural hair color?
Beka: I can't tell you. It's a secret.

Beka: Hey, did you do it? Is it going to work?
Seamus: Is my name Seamus Zelazny Harper?
Beka: God, I hope not.

Beka: I always thought when I went, I would go out with a bang, not quiet like this. This is what it must be like in the sweet hereafter. Or else a party.
Trance: So you're saying there's life and then there's death, which is true, because first you're this, and then you're that, but really, it's all one thing. A sun gives life and light, and then it collapses and it takes light into itself.
Beka: First a star, then a black hole.
Trance: Different forms of the same thing.
Beka: So no party?
Trance: This is the party.
Beka: Whoop de doo.