30 Best Ben Matlock Quotes

Les: [Les has been arrested and Matlock is there to break him out. Enter Matlock into the jail cell] Hi.
[pause]
Benjamin: [Matlock looks annoyed with Les] Are you *crazy?*

Mike: [apologizing for an outburst] I have this little jealousy problem...
Ben: No kidding!

Judge: [Matlock has requested a recess at Julie's insistence] Perhaps you'd like to tell me why you're requesting a recess in the middle of your cross-examination of a witness?
Ben: I ate one of those fat California hot dogs with lots of onions, and it's kind of backing up on me. Maybe you noticed?
Judge: This court is adjourned until tomorrow morning at 9-o'clock.

Judge: Are you looking for trouble?
Ben: Trouble is a two-way street.
Judge: Are you threatening me?
Ben: I'm trying to do my job!

Ben: What's the matter with you? Did someone cut the wire between your brain and your mouth?

Billy: Lucy's dead.
Ben: Lucy's dead?
Billy: She died in her sleep sometime last night, in that beach house of hers in North Carolina. This kid was renting a room there, found her and called me about an hour ago.

Ben: Get off 'a my TV!
Mike: [stuck in the screen] I can't!

Ben: Oh, come on!

Julie: [Ben is sadly sitting on a step with yellow daisies waiting for Julie so they can have dinner together. Enter Julie. Ben quickly stands up, happy to see her] Hi.
Ben: Hi.
[Holds up the flowers]
Julie: Oh, these flowers.
[Gasps suddenly. She has forgotten something]
Julie: Our dinner!
[Whining]
Julie: Oh, I completely forgot.
Ben: I guess we won't be having your famous fried chicken dinner.
Julie: I've been so swamped lately, I can barely remember my name.
[Julie begins to unlock the door to her house. She and Ben go inside]
Ben: OK, then we'll eat out tonight.
Julie: I don't think I have the energy.
Ben: OK, then we'll eat in. I'll cook.
Julie: There's nothing here.
[Plops down on a dining room chair]
Julie: I don't even have time to go to the grocery store.
Ben: That Stanley's working you too hard.

[last lines]
Ben: Well, you could be right. But you're not.

Benjamin: I know the prosecutor in this case, and she is a very tough cookie.
[takes a bite of his hot dog]

Benjamin: [to Les Calhoun, who wants to help look for clues] Les, what are you doing here?

Ben: [Ben, Steve and Charlene enter men's room to avoid reporters. A man enters and looks at Charlene] It's O.K. She's a lawyer.

Ben: Hope it's a good day for Geminis.

Laura: Leanne's divorced?
Ben: She married outside of her species; he's a jackass!

Benjamin: [a paramedic is dabbing at a wound on Matlock's head] What is that, battery acid?

Ben: You really are a ghost.
Mike: Of course!
Ben: [in disbelief] I'm talking to a ghost...

Alice: [Checking Matlock in at a small town's only motel] How long'll you be staying?
Benjamin: One night; two if there's a good place to eat in town.
Alice: Just the one night, then.

Mrs. McCardle: Don't ask me about my Uncle Bernard.
Benjamin: You never said anything about an Uncle Bernard.
Mrs. McCardle: That's because we have to call him Aunt Berniece.

Ben: Well... there goes the killer.

Anne: Why does he need a cape?
Ben: Because Justice Man can fly.

Ben: You don't have to pay me; just don't shoot me.

Chet: [Ben destroys the film in his camera] That's private property!
Ben: You're trespassing, so I guess now we're even.

Ben: You're the most annoying ghost I ever heard tell of!

[last lines]
Benjamin: This undershirt was perfectly clean yesterday. When Ms. McCardle washes my undershirts, they're clean!
Alice: Who are you accusin'... me?
Benjamin: All I'm sayin' is there's somethin' about this town and that boy's death yesterday that just plain don't feel right. And now that somebody's drug my undershirt into it, I'm gonna find out why!

Benjamin: [Confirming his date with Julie] Six o'clock; I'll be wearing a gray suit.
[Matlock is famous for only having one--gray--suit]

Ben: [Ben is escaping from his insurance agent into another room, and is praying to God] Oh God, please cut out his tongue!

Ben: [about Harold] . He couldn't kill anyone. He might *bore* them to death...

Jane: It seemed to me that the character would have long nails.
Ben: Or did you have them put on to hide what happened to your real nails?
Jane: No. I was trying to get into character, something you probably wouldn't understand.

Ben: I wasn't peeping!