50 Best Matlock Quotes

Leanne: [Seeing that Ben is still wearing his old gray suit] Where's your new suit?
Ben: In my closet.
Leanne: Why?
Ben: That's where I keep all my new suits.

Julie: [Ben is sadly sitting on a step with yellow daisies waiting for Julie so they can have dinner together. Enter Julie. Ben quickly stands up, happy to see her] Hi.
Ben: Hi.
[Holds up the flowers]
Julie: Oh, these flowers.
[Gasps suddenly. She has forgotten something]
Julie: Our dinner!
[Whining]
Julie: Oh, I completely forgot.
Ben: I guess we won't be having your famous fried chicken dinner.
Julie: I've been so swamped lately, I can barely remember my name.
[Julie begins to unlock the door to her house. She and Ben go inside]
Ben: OK, then we'll eat out tonight.
Julie: I don't think I have the energy.
Ben: OK, then we'll eat in. I'll cook.
Julie: There's nothing here.
[Plops down on a dining room chair]
Julie: I don't even have time to go to the grocery store.
Ben: That Stanley's working you too hard.

Sonny: That's the trouble with going out with 20-year olds; their fathers can still pack a mean punch!

Billy: Doctor said I had ears like a Fruit Bat.

Donald: Julie, I love you. I told you that last night, I've always loved you.
A.D.A. Julie March: I know you love me, Donald. And you also loved Sheila, your law clerk, and my best friend, Marjorie, and her friend, Dorie, and the soprano in the church choir... I never knew her name.

Daryl: You know, Art seems to think you're hot stuff... but me, I think you're a pain in the ass.

Mike: [apologizing for an outburst] I have this little jealousy problem...
Ben: No kidding!

Cliff: Package for Leo Harmon!
[Harmon opens the door, he throws the package over his shoulder]
Cliff: I lied!

Julie: [Betty is cleaning out Richard Wagner's office while talking to Julie. Julie picks up a black and white photo of a lovely young woman on the desk] She's very pretty. His daughter?
[Shows the picture to Betty]
Betty: Hardly. That's the third Mrs. Wagner. Celeste.
Julie: Oh.
Betty: "Oh" is right. I'm lucky he didn't trade *me* in for a younger model.
Julie: [Amused] You were his secretary for a long time?
Betty: Before the plant was invented.

Ben: You're the most annoying ghost I ever heard tell of!

Ben: Hope it's a good day for Geminis.

Ben: Oh, come on!

Doug: The number of unemployed actors is only slightly less than the number of insects.

Ben: [Ben, Steve and Charlene enter men's room to avoid reporters. A man enters and looks at Charlene] It's O.K. She's a lawyer.

[last lines]
Benjamin: This undershirt was perfectly clean yesterday. When Ms. McCardle washes my undershirts, they're clean!
Alice: Who are you accusin'... me?
Benjamin: All I'm sayin' is there's somethin' about this town and that boy's death yesterday that just plain don't feel right. And now that somebody's drug my undershirt into it, I'm gonna find out why!

Judge: Are you looking for trouble?
Ben: Trouble is a two-way street.
Judge: Are you threatening me?
Ben: I'm trying to do my job!

Ben: [the defendant is protesting loudly from next to Ben and refuses to stop] Your Honor, might I have a moment to instruct my client in the rules of proper courtroom conduct?
Judge: By all means.
Ben: [to his client] SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!
[he does]
Ben: Thank you, your Honor.

Ben: [about Harold] . He couldn't kill anyone. He might *bore* them to death...

Benjamin: I'd sooner eat a live chicken than be your lawyer!

[last lines]
Ben: Well, you could be right. But you're not.

Benjamin: [a paramedic is dabbing at a wound on Matlock's head] What is that, battery acid?

Jane: It seemed to me that the character would have long nails.
Ben: Or did you have them put on to hide what happened to your real nails?
Jane: No. I was trying to get into character, something you probably wouldn't understand.

Ben: Get off 'a my TV!
Mike: [stuck in the screen] I can't!

Judge: [Matlock has requested a recess at Julie's insistence] Perhaps you'd like to tell me why you're requesting a recess in the middle of your cross-examination of a witness?
Ben: I ate one of those fat California hot dogs with lots of onions, and it's kind of backing up on me. Maybe you noticed?
Judge: This court is adjourned until tomorrow morning at 9-o'clock.

Ben: You really are a ghost.
Mike: Of course!
Ben: [in disbelief] I'm talking to a ghost...

Julie: [Julie is in her car on a brief stakeout as she waits for John Randall to go inside the apartment. Enter Ben. She is surprised to see him after he offered her Conrad to help her] Hi!
Ben: Hi.
[Gets into the car]
Ben: Since when did you get into this line of work?
Julie: When I couldn't get anybody to help. What about Conrad?
Ben: Huh?
Julie: You said he wasn't busy.
Ben: Well, he is.
Julie: You just offered Conrad as a way of checking up on me, didn't you?
Ben: Yes.
Julie: Are you worried about me?
[There is a short pause]
Ben: [Hesitantly] A little.
Julie: [Smiles] Thank you.
[Kisses his cheek]

Julie: Tell me, what is the name of the florist that John Randall used?
Betty: Are you planning on sending him roses?
[They laugh]

Mrs. McCardle: Don't ask me about my Uncle Bernard.
Benjamin: You never said anything about an Uncle Bernard.
Mrs. McCardle: That's because we have to call him Aunt Berniece.

Benjamin: [Confirming his date with Julie] Six o'clock; I'll be wearing a gray suit.
[Matlock is famous for only having one--gray--suit]

Les: [Les has been arrested and Matlock is there to break him out. Enter Matlock into the jail cell] Hi.
[pause]
Benjamin: [Matlock looks annoyed with Les] Are you *crazy?*

Billy: Lucy's dead.
Ben: Lucy's dead?
Billy: She died in her sleep sometime last night, in that beach house of hers in North Carolina. This kid was renting a room there, found her and called me about an hour ago.

Chet: [Ben destroys the film in his camera] That's private property!
Ben: You're trespassing, so I guess now we're even.

Mike: Punch him for me! Just one punch. Come on, you're older than him!

Andrew: Wearing suits is one thing, but shaving, I don't know.

Carlos: The problem is, my friend, that my customers order drinks you've probably never heard of.
Conrad: Try me.
Carlos: A Zombie, a perfect Rob Roy, and a Suffering Bastard.
Conrad: Coming up.

Ben: You don't have to pay me; just don't shoot me.

Benjamin: [to Les Calhoun] You ever notice, when guys our age talk about the war, nobody asks which one?

Ben: Well... there goes the killer.

Ben: I wasn't peeping!

[repeated line]
Ben: Jackass!

Ben: [after proving who the real killer is] Isn't it a shame. You killed the wrong person.

Ben: What's the matter with you? Did someone cut the wire between your brain and your mouth?

Anne: Why does he need a cape?
Ben: Because Justice Man can fly.

Arthur: Are these the eyes of a killer?

[last lines]
Ben: [At the podium after finally arriving after everyone had left] Ladies and gentlemen, a funny thing happened to me on the way to this luncheon.

Benjamin: I know the prosecutor in this case, and she is a very tough cookie.
[takes a bite of his hot dog]

Benjamin: [to Les Calhoun, who wants to help look for clues] Les, what are you doing here?

Linda: I was NOT drunk!
Cliff: You LOOKED drunk...

Tim: What are you doing?
Mike: You're drowning.
Tim: I am?

Laura: Leanne's divorced?
Ben: She married outside of her species; he's a jackass!