The Best Billy Flynn Quotes

Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Velma: And then some.
Bailiff: Take a seat.
Assistant: Would you state your name for the record, please?
Velma: Velma Kelly.
Assistant: Ms. Kelly, would you please tell the court if the object that I am holding is the one you happened to come across in the defendant's jail cell?
Velma: Yes, it is.
Assistant: I submit this as Exhibit X - Roxie Hart's diary!
Billy: I object! My client has never held a diary! And even if she did, this would be... invasion of privacy, and violation of the fourth amendment, and... and illegal search without a warrant!
Roxie: Yeah, AND she broke the lock!

Billy: Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous, row after row will grow vociferous.

Billy: My client feels that it was a combination of liquor and jazz that led to the downfall.

Roxie: Mr. Flynn!
[pretends to faint]
Billy: Someone open this door immediately!
Ms. Sunshine: Oh, my God! Roxie! What is it, dear?
Roxie: Oh! Oh! Oh, no no no. Don't, don't worry about me. Oh, I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby.
Matron: Baby?
Velma: Shit!

Billy: You're a phony celebrity and in two weeks no one's going to give a shit about you... that's Chicago.

Billy: Miss Kelly, do you know the meaning of perjury?
Velma: Yes, I do
Billy: You also know that it's a crime?
Velma: Yes
Billy: For example, if you knew this diary was a fake, I'd hate to see you rot away in prison especially since you just won your freedom...
Velma: Look, all I know is what I was told!
Billy: Oh, so you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?
Velma: No. Mama - Miss Morton gave it to me. She said someone sent it to her
Billy: Someone... did she have any idea who this mysterious benefactor could be?
Velma: [Irritated] No, she didn't know!

Roxie: I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard.
Billy: [grinning] Shut up, dummy.

Billy: Give 'em the old razzle dazzle. Razzle razzle 'em. Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it and the reaction will be passionate.

Billy: I don't mean to toot my own horn, but if Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today, and he had come to me and he had five thousand dollars, let's just say things would have turned out differently.

Roxie: They LOVE me.
Billy: They'd love you a lot more if you were hanged. You know why? Because it would sell more papers!

[his last lines]
Billy: You're a free woman, Roxie Hart. And God save Illinois.

Billy: This is Chicago, kid. You can't beat fresh blood on the walls.

Billy: Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?
Velma: Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.

Billy: This trial... the whole world... it's all... show business.

Billy: Objection!
Judge: Sustained.
Assistant: Your Honor, I haven't even asked a question yet.